Handling High Stress

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Hey, it's JJ Virgin. And welcome to the JJ Virgin Lifestyle show where I talk nutrition, exercise, mindset and lifestyle with some of the coolest people in the world. And I give you tips that you can put into fast action to up level your health so you can go out there and live the big life you're meant to live. Now today's show we really get real. It cuts right to my heart because we're going to talk about health strategies during times of extreme stress. And I had my own time of extreme stress a couple years ago when my son was the victim of a hit and run when he was out walking and literally left for dead in the street. And I spent four and a half months in the ICU while I was launching the Virgin Diet because I'm the primary financial support for my family, so I had to do both. So we're going to talk about that during the show with my guest who also just went through a period of extreme stress. And we have some amazing lessons to share about what you can do. And the key here is you never know when this is going to happen so you want to be prepared. And also if you can get through extreme stress and create that resilience, it makes everything else so much easier. So let me tell you a little bit about today's guest. It's Isabel de los Rios. She is fantastic. I met her at an event a couple months ago and instantly became fast friends. She is a certified nutritionist and exercise specialist. She's helped over 700,000 people all over the world lose incredible amounts of weight, regain their health and permanently change their lives through the Beyond Diet program program. She is just fantastic and she really focuses on fat loss, diabetes control and optimal health. And how this all happened was when she was a teenager. And you know, it's always I find people, the best people out there in the world of health are those that went through it themselves and had their own story. She was an overweight daughter and granddaughter of type 2 diabetics and she was told that this was going to be her fate, too, because of genetics. And she was like, no, I don't think so. So she started looking for answers. This literally again. Remember, she was a teenager looking, reading every nutrition and diet book she could find and then sought out doctors and health professionals and just started learning more and more and more and then went in and got her degree at Rutgers in exercise physiology. She's a certified strength and conditioning specialist by the national Strength and conditioning Association, a holistic nutrition lifestyle coach by the Corrective Holistic Exercise Kinesiology Institute. And she has just done some amazing work. Her own personal extreme health is what helped her get through what she just went through. And we so bonded during this interview because we both came to the same realization while we were in the icu. So I'm excited to share that with you. I'm not going to reveal it yet. Just stay tuned and you'll hear it and you'll realize this is all amazing information and great life lessons that you can use yourself to help boost your resilience so you can really take on anything. So today's guest is Isabel de Los Rios. All right, so let's do it. Isabel, welcome to the show. I am so excited to talk with you today.

Jj, I am so excited to be here.

This is such an important topic. You know, as you know, I've gone through my own high stress times, and I think whether people are in high stress or not, if you can learn how to deal with high stress and you can deal with all stre. But let's talk about because maybe people don't even realize when they're in a high stress time, what qualifies as high stress? How does someone know when they're in that type of situation?

Yeah. So high stress times as we're going to talk about them today is really when your world gets turned upside down. So it's not just, oh, my alarm didn't go off and now I'm late and now I'm feeling stressed today. It's not just, oh, maybe your kid has a cold and he can't go to school and you can't go to work. So those are stressful. And but what I'm talking about here is when life is like, what in the world just happened? So that could be the death of a loved one, which definitely is extremely just upsetting. Divorce, a major illness, job loss, which may lead to some heavy financial stress and anxiety. And even good things like moving. Moving can be great. Like, oh, look, we bought a house and now we're moving. But that can be derailing. And then having a baby. Having a baby is phenomenal. It's wonderful. I have two kids, but it's a really, really tough time. So those are our high stress times.

All right. Yeah. I would definitely agree that having kids and then everything after that fact becomes stressful, doesn't it? Yeah. Yeah. I remember being pregnant and walking down the street in Santa Monica and these two thuggy looking dudes are walking my way, and. And I'm like, everything in me is like, you know, gearing up. Right. And I thought, oh, my gosh, I'm going to be worried and protective for the rest of my life. Wow. Wow. Yeah. So someone's under high stress, and I've certainly experienced my share of high stress, so I can totally recognize it. And I remember some of the things immediately when I was in the, you know, in the emergency room the night that my son got hit and the next night, and I remember just some of the feelings that were going on in my body. But for someone who hasn't confronted this yet or maybe is not. Not so dialed in, what are some of the things that happens to your body when you get into a high stress situation?

Well, really, it's a situation where it becomes all consuming. So usually people are. They can't sleep, right? You're laying in bed and you're just thinking, thinking, thinking. Especially if it's, let's say, in your situation, jj, you were taking care of someone. So all you're thinking about is, what do I have to do? What am I going to do? I'm going to stay here in this hospital. I don't want to leave. So sleep is really, really comprom. Usually during this time, people are not hungry. And we've all seen people who, let's say, have lost a loved one and they just don't want to eat. So now, instead of the opposite happening, which a lot of times during chronic stress, people will eat to make themselves feel better here in these situations, a lot of times, people just don't want to eat. And if they are eating, it's usually not something that's good for them. People are usually extremely anxious, like, extremely anxious. Like you just can't do anything else. You are just so. Just so full of nerves. And so that's usually the feeling. And I know a lot of people who are listening to this have probably experienced one of these that we're talking about. It would be my hope for everyone that you never have to experience.

Oh, my gosh. Yes.

Yes.

I mean, I really almost wish we didn't have to have this conversation. But like you said, if you know how to deal with these situations, you'll be able to deal with really any situation.

Yes. And that is key. And I love that you differentiated between this acute high stress and chronic stress, because they are so different. They're so different. I still remember standing in the hospital feeling like, it's like the feeling of wanting to crawl out of your skin. It is. I've had so much caffeine, that type of feeling, like I've had 10 times the caffeine I should ever consume type of feeling. It's just awful. No.

And I was gonna say, I just really hope that for people listening, they're not in one of those situations, but that if and when one of these things does happen, they have a toolkit and they know what they can do. Because it really is such a challenging time. Like you said, jj, you're almost like, is this for real? Can this just be over?

Yeah, it literally all those went through my head, is this for real? Can this be over? And fortunately, I. I had some tools in the toolkit, and I would love to hear what you can recommend as practical strategies that people can do when this happens. And then the other thing I would tell people is have these things around ready to go, because you don't know when this is going to happen. Who knows, right? Yes. Yeah.

Who knows? So I'll just share a little bit of my personal experience. The first time I experienced this level of stress was when my second son was born and my oldest was 2 years old. I had a newborn and a 2 year old, and that was like, oh, my goodness, for real? You have no time to take care of yourself. Your hormones are just crazy. I went back to work after six weeks, and that was really the worst. It was when I was working. I had a newborn and I had a two year old. That was challenging. And I felt like I really learned these strategies then. And of course, I got through it. My kids are older now and it's much easier. But now, recently, as you know, my mom became very, very ill, and I was in the hospital with her for three straight, and she passed away and we traveled for her funeral. So really what I'm going to talk about here is what I did during that time, because that was that kind of situation where you're like, wow, is this for real? You know, what am I going to do? So the first thing I want to tell people is that you should not and do not feel guilty for taking care of yourself during this time, and specifically, I want to talk to people who are so used to being caretakers, like parents or in my situation, the child. And here I am taking care of my mother. And a lot of times people will feel bad, like, oh, I'm so not important right now. I have to take care of, in your case, jj, my son or I still have to take care of my mother. But what I would keep telling my sister and my dad was, we can't also go down. Like, mommy really needs us right now. We have to take care of ourselves. So I really just want to eliminate that guilt for new moms and for caretakers or anyone in that situation, because the whole entire situation becomes so much worse if you then start to not feel well.

Exactly. Don't you find that there's. What I realized during that time, because you can't be in the ICU if you're sick, is that there was no margin, like, no margin for error. I practiced extreme self care with my sleep, with my eating, with my exercise. People were bringing me in wild salmon and kale and stuff. But I went to extreme self care because I knew it was the only way I could pull it off.

Yeah. And that is beautiful to hear because I was in the same situation. I was in the icu, and if I wasn't, well, I wasn't allowed in. And that actually did happen to my sister. My sister just kind of like started getting too, too stressed, started using her comfort food, which was sugar, and then immediately got a cold. Well, she was not allowed in the ICU for a couple days. So really, it just makes the whole situation worse. So, yes, I did practice extreme care, and so did you, jj. So now the question is, how did we do that? So what I recommend and what I did personally during that time is you may want to just eat the same thing every single day. Not because you're going to do that for the rest of your life, but just because you need to make this simple. You're not going to go home and you're not going to batch cook, and you're not going to make all these meals. Like, let's just be for real here. You got to get to the hospital, you got to go home. And we're using our examples, but for people, they can relate it to their situation, but having a baby is very similar. Right. What are you going to do? Be in the kitchen for five hours, batch cooking? No, you're definitely not. What I recommend is pick two breakfasts, two snacks, two lunches, two dinners. Even if you repeat them over and over and over again and somehow, some way get those things for me. I can run into any supermarket and get smoked salmon and avocado and figure out where the fresh vegetables are, some fruit, and I will just make do and just do that. So even if every single day for breakfast I have smoked salmon, avocado, and some veggies.

Great.

I am ready to go. The other thing would be like a whole baked chicken. If you have a whole foods near you, get two whole baked chickens and you will just pick off of that thing to get you through this time. Or like what happened with you, J.D. a lot of people were willing to help. Take the help. Yes. If you could bake me a chicken, if you could bring me some salmon, if you could just get me some grass fed burgers from the place down the road or wherever it is. And people are so happy to do it.

They loved it. It was really hard for me. It was one of the biggest lessons I learned was take the help. Actually, you know, I think most of us do not like asking for help, but when your son's life's on the line, you take the help. And I did the exact same thing you talked about. I actually had a nutribullet in the hospital so I could whip up shakes. Yeah, I just like, like I was living on that stuff, but I just. People said, what can I bring? And I'm like, well, you could bring some salmon, some chicken, you know. Right. Just made it easier.

And I forgot to mention the shakes. I mean, that's, that's great. Look, you're not going to drink shakes all day, every day for the rest of your life, but just for this time to keep it as clean as possible. That is a great, a great idea.

It was easy. I was living out of a hotel, so that was, that's the way it was gonna work, you know.

Yeah. And actually, you bring up such a great point, J.J. because my sister was living out of a hotel, I was driving the hour back and forth to the hospital. My sister wanted to be really. I know. And that in itself, right. Challenges. And, you know, I have two little kids at home, but my sister, she was living out of a hotel. Now here was the challenge. She did have access to her healthy food, but now you have more exposure to the bad stuff. So she would get to the hotel at night and there would be like happy hour.

Oh, no.

There is like the alcohol and the treats and, you know, those things are more readily available, like at the, at the hospital. I hate to say it, but there was Like a cupcake bar downstairs. Isn't it amazing?

The crap at the hospital? I was like. And they said they had a big sign about their healthy food and farm to table. You will laugh about this, Isabelle. So farm to table and under it were apples.

Yeah, right.

That was it. That was like the big thing. They had apples. Yeah.

Well, I mean, kind of farm to table, I guess. Just, like, it's crazy because now my sister's, you know, addictive foods were more available to her, whereas, like, at home, she wouldn't have cupcakes around. So that's the other suggestion I want to make for people, or make two people, rather, is you need to have your do nots. Clear. Clear right up front. And I'm really saying this with all the compassion in my heart. I mean, I understand that these situations are so hard. I mean, I'm only like a couple weeks from it, from the entire experience. But I had to say to myself and my dad, dad, Starbucks coffee is off limits for me. I want you to stop me if you even see me going in that direction, because for me, this is my addiction. I mean, JJ, if you let me have one cup of coffee, I'll have 20. It's ridiculous.

It's like I'm sitting here, like, nodding. Because the one thing that I decided during that time was that I. Because I had to be there, like, four and a half months, you know, 5:30am till whenever. And I was launching a New York Times bestseller at the same time. So. But I just was like, I have a hall pass for coffee. That was it. I was like, I'm not gonna go, you know, eat sugar and all that stuff. But. But I didn't go off the rails because I also knew that I had to sleep at night. That was. I was crazy about sleep. That's the big thing. I will get yourself to sleep. Whatever you have to do. Because that's probably the single most important thing that you can do, wouldn't you say, in the whole scheme of things is, gosh, if you start getting sleep deprived, everything goes sideways.

You just can't do it then. You just can't even think rationally. And that's really what it is for me with the caffeine. I don't know what this nasty addiction is I have for. But then I can't sleep. And then everything just. Then everything gets derailed.

Yeah. You got to know those triggers.

Yeah. And that's for my sister. She saw how she got the cold. She wasn't allowed in the icu, and then she was like, done with the sugar. Done, done, done. Like, I just cannot have any more sugar. But to your point about sleep, jj, that is so important. I think about when both of my kids and my husband had the flu and I was the only one that was not sick. I would get them all in one room, both kids in one bed, my husband there, because I knew I had to, like, be available for them. And we would just sleep, and we would just sleep. So I still felt like I was taking care of them, but I was like, mommy's got to sleep, Mommy's got to sleep. Because I think that was the only thing that really, really kept me well. So, I mean, if I could say anything to the listeners, really don't feel guilty for taking care of yourself. You've got to, got to do it. Make your list of your emergency foods, write it down into a list, and then you can share it with people. And when they say, hey, can I get you something? All you have to do is show them a list. Be like, yes, I need these things and I need them now. And then just establish your do nots right up front. Like, just don't even go down that road, especially if it's something that's really derailed you in the past.

This is so great because this just isn't. You know, we all talk chronic stress and having gone through this, you know, there wasn't a roadmap for, oh my gosh, this just happened now. What? And I just, fortunately, with so many friends in the health field, they just started showing up with everything and I didn't have to think, but you know, again, plan for this, have that, have that emergency plan because, you know, you kind of know in life these situations are going to come up and are you ready? And that's why I think it is so key to be in the best health. I mean, part of what's obviously helped you was you walked in super healthy to start with, right? Yeah. So that always helps a lot.

That was really huge because when I think about how long it was, like three weeks in the hospital, every day in the icu, lots of sick people, and then traveling to New Jersey for the funeral and then being there having my two kids and my husband get the flu during that time. I think about that whole time I came home and I was like, wow, that whole time I really stayed healthy and felt well. But I do think that had a lot to do with all the things I had done prior to that.

Absolutely.

Keep myself in good health. Yeah.

So for everybody who now wants to know how they can get healthy like you. And I know you have beyonddiet.com what can they get there if they go.

Over to BeyondDiet.com so@BeyondDiet.com we have a starter video that some people have watched that video and just with that information alone have lost the first 10, 20, 30, 40 pounds. I mean if you're hungry, hungry for information and you really want to start, you can start right there. Lots of articles. You can also find us on Facebook, facebook.com Beyond Diet Tons of new recipes every single day. Great articles and then pictures of my kids because you know me, you have to.

Yay.

I just have to.

Yeah, you better.

If you want to see my kids, you'll see them there.

Fantastic.

And you have great recipes. So definitely everyone you want to go there and get them. So Isabel, thank you so much for joining me today. And I want to remind you listening go to BeyondDiet.com to get more great info and those recipes. Now after the break, I'm going to be answering a listener's question. So stay with me.

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Welcome back. This is the time where I answer a listener's question and today's question is when I hear so often it's all about food and what should I eat? It's from Rachel and Rachel asks jj, what are your top go to foods? So I had to answer this question now because it so ties in with what we were talking about in the show. The deal is I make sure that my fridge, freezer and pantry are stocked so that I can pretty much handle any situation. But I travel a lot so I need foods that are easy to take with me and also foods that I can keep in the fridge, freezer and pantry that aren't going to go bad too quickly. Now when I'm home, I always keep go go to the store and get some fresh veggies and produce so that I have them. But and on the road I make sure that I order salads and veggies, but then I supplement with the rest of these things. So my obvious go to food. I actually travel with the nutribullet and I use my all in one shakes every single day whether I'm on the at home or on the road. So my number one go to food really are my shakes. And then I carry my bars with me and I made this stuff because this is what I use. I've done it for 25 years so I wanted to make sure I had products that exactly what I wanted in them and nothing else. So I made my own. So I carry my bars with me. I'm particularly hooked on my chocolate mint protein bar right now. I must say that's my current favorite. But I have six different types and flavors, fiber and protein bars. I'm always rotating them around and I have my shakes now. Other go to foods for me in my fridge I always keep some Kite Hill almond ricotta cheese and then I've just been mixing it up with all sorts of different hummuses out there. And I always have some different cut up veggies especially. I'm kind of a big fan of celery because it's like a little, it's a great little holder for all sorts of things. And in my pantry I have rice chips because my fiance likes to do rice chips and hummus. Then we always have some sliced turkey and sliced grass fed roast beef that you can find sometimes at Whole Foods so we like to keep that on hand too. And what I like to do is take that and if I'm in town I also get some fresh guacamole and I will take like some sliced peppers or some spinach and I will put some hummus or some Kite Hill almond rot, ricotta cheese or guacamole on a piece of turkey. Put that stuff in, roll it up and I make some roll ups for lunch. That's one of my quick go tos. I have a bunch of different nuts in the pantry so that I can put baggies of them together and carry those with me if I need to too. And I have some Paleo Valley. I love my Budd at Paleo Valley. I have their grass fed beef sticks so I take those with me as well. And those are my easy go to foods that I always keep around in my freezer. I always have great frozen berries and then I also have some amazing wild salmon and halibut from Vital Choice because that's so easy to prepare, you don't even have to defrost it in order to make dinner. And then I also keep some grass fed beef and grass fed lamb for my buddies at Wild Things, Seafood and Meats. So I have a bunch of stuff that's great and stocked. I also keep in my pantry some lentils, black beans and garbanzo beans. Sorry Dave Asprey, I just said garbanzo beans. I know that you don't like them. My bulletproof buddy Dave Asprey and I have a running joke about garbanzo beans. Anyway, those are my real go to easy things. I also have some uncured nitrate free bacon in the fridge. But those are the simple things that I tend to do wherever I'm at. Because they're always simple. Because my favorite way to eat is just some clean protein, lots of vegetables and then a little bit of a slow low carb. Especially things like butternut squash. Big fan of that. Or some legumes. And I tend to eat a little bit of beans every single day. There it is. Easy, easy. And I will tell you that when I was in the hospital with Grant, those were the same things that I had. I had a shake, I had my nutribullet with me, I had bars with me. And then when people asked me what can I bring, it was like bring some wild salmon, bring some chicken, bring some veggies. And I had nut butters and nuts. Oh and we have lots of nut nut butter in the fridge as well. Made it simple and easy to do. And that's the thing you want to create a no fail environment. So this is easy for you to do. And I and don't bring the enemy into the house or the office or your car. No trigger foods. They just set you up to fail. All right, if you'd like to submit a question, just go to jjvirgin.com ask and you can leave a voicemail for me. I can't wait to hear from you. And one more way, I'd love to hear from you. I would so appreciate it if you could jump on Stitcher or itunes and leave a review for me. It helps a bunch and be sure to subscribe and share the show with your friends. This is JJ Virgin signing off and reminding you that you are worthy Dare to live a life that matters.

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