I’ve Been Lifting for 40 Years Here’s the Truth About Getting “Bulky”

You, my friend, yes, you can build strong, lean, sculpted muscle, and you're not gonna get big. You're gonna get tight and toned. Strength training doesn't make women bulky. It makes us strong, sculpted, and metabolically unstoppable. And if you focus on progressive overload, you hit your protein, and you recover like a pro, you're gonna reshape your body in ways cardio has never been able to do it. So what actually happens to your body when you lift? Will it make your arms look bigger? Will your legs grow so big that your jeans are tight? Okay, here's the truth. Building real muscle takes a lot more than picking up a few dumbbells. What actually happens when you lift is that you get leaner, stronger, and more metabolically healthy. You don't get bigger. And that so-called bulky look, well, that's not muscle alone. It's usually muscle plus extra body fat. And that comes from a poor diet, not from lifting heavy. And today I'm going to show you exactly how to train to build tone, sculpted muscle that helps you burn fat around the clock. We'll cover the science of how muscle is built, why women have a natural advantage when it comes to staying lean, and how the right training, nutrition, and recovery habits create that firm, powerful body you actually want. And make sure you hang on till the end because I'm going to share the formula I use personally to balance your nutrition, your exercise, and your lifestyle to hit the goals that you want to achieve. So the first thing that we are going to blow up is that myth that when you lift weights, you're going to get bigger. Reality is we have lower testosterone levels. It is a lot harder for us to add that large muscle mass. All those years that I've seen women working out in the gym, the only ones I saw get big were the ones that were using a little assist from steroids. That bulky look that you fear, that's fat plus muscle, not muscle alone. I want you to think of muscle like your metabolic Spanx. It holds everything in tighter, right, and boosts your metabolism. And then The reality is muscle is really slow to put on. I say it's like watching grass grow. You need high volume, you need very specific programming. And if you're lucky at that point, you'll put on a pound a month. Yes, a pound. So why do you want to build muscle? First of all, I just mentioned it was your metabolic Spanx. It boosts your metabolism. Every pound of muscle can kick up your metabolism as much as 75 calories. You're going to have a better insulin response. It's the fastest way to improve your insulin sensitivity. That means it's better for you, easier for you burn fat. Plus it's a sugar sponge. It gives carbohydrates a place to land rather than turning 'em into fat and putting 'em around your belly. Helps you build stronger bones and keep those bones strong as you age. And it's the key thing for aging powerfully and in keeping your mobility up. Plus it is a metabolic messenger. It's a multitasking messenger. Every time your muscles contract, they send powerful pharmacy throughout your body telling your body to do things like drop inflammation, boost your immune system, you know, make your mood great. So all sorts of incredible things. So I hope with that you say, okay, so how do I do it? You gotta have mechanical tension. You gotta challenge your muscles and you gotta challenge them doing more than what you're used to so they get stronger and adapt. The secret to this is something called progressive overload. And again, it's just always doing a little bit more. Now, in order for your muscles to really build, you gotta challenge that muscle close to failure. That gets it to really have to adapt. And the volume guidelines are 20 sets per muscle group per week. As I walk through this, I'm gonna show you how I divide the body into upper body pushing, upper body pulling, and then hips and thighs. So I basically make kind of a bigger muscle group, and then we can pull those apart if there's an area that's not responding that you wanna hit, like maybe your triceps. So to build muscle, it's about 75% exercise, 25% diet. At least that's been said. I think somewhere in there they forgot that you got to recover too, and that's key. But as far as the training goes, it's really the prime mover. And again, I mentioned something called progressive overload. And what progressive overload means is that you're doing more than what your body is used to. You've got to progress. If you're going to the gym doing the same old, same old, and you've been doing that for years, you won't even maintain where you're at. You'll be continuing to lose it slowly over time. So progressive overload means you're either increasing the weight, the number of repetitions that you do during each set, the number of sets that you do, or you can change up the exercises, or you can add a set, or you can change the tempo, or you can even go from like using both arms to doing one arm, using both legs to doing one leg. So there's a lot of different ways to change things up. I really think of the body as these four parts: upper body pushing, those are things like push-ups, overhead presses, um, dips, incline presses. They are going to be working your chest, your shoulders, and triceps. Upper body pulling, those are things like a pull-up, a, a bent-over row, a high pull. These are things that work your shoulders, your lats, and your biceps. And then there's your hip and thigh hinging, and that's gonna work your glutes and your quads and your calves. Depending on how you do it, will pull in your hamstrings as well. And then of course there is your power core, which is your back, and your abs. Now I will tell you, I don't specifically target the Power Core, and I have a very specific way I work out where I focus on the biggest muscle groups first. I'm gonna tell you when you can go and do the single joints. But what I like to do is as functional as possible, pull in as many muscle groups as possible so I get the biggest bang for my buck. I'm saying this because if there's a certain area you really wanna focus on, let's say that you are crazy for your glutes, you may decide that you're gonna do your hip and thigh hinging, you're going to do a squat, you're going to do a step up, but then you might do some very specific things like, you know, a hip hinge or a glute extension that really just focus and target on those glutes. Let's say that you are crazy about your triceps. You would do your push-ups, you do overhead presses, you could do dips. They all work your triceps. But then if you want to do some things like a tricep rope extension or a kickback just to focus on that at the end, you can push that through. So again, I always focus big. Then go multi-joint to single joint, focus on the biggest levers first. And then if you want to focus on some of those, I call that more of a vanity thing. Or if you're doing some rehab work, I do a lot of work on rehab because I have had a little knee injury since I was 17 and a foot injury since I was 21. So I'm doing some specific rehabby stuff there. So you can use it for that too. The thing that can be super helpful here is to also track your workouts because you don't— if you can't remember what you were doing, you might think you're progressing, but you're not. So if you can keep a record on your phone of your workout, so you can go, oh, I added, I added more reps this time, I went up in weight this time, I added a whole nother set this time, right? And the other way is we talk about repetitions, is you can vary the type of workout that you do. We'll talk about that in a moment. So tracking your workouts, super important, because again, you hear me say it all the time, what you measure, monitor, you improve. And quite often with resistance training, you're going to see changes in your workout volume before you will see changes in your actual fat-free mass on a bioimpedance scale. And the biggest ways that you build muscle is by progressively overloading with volume, with adequate volume. And what the research has shown is that hitting each of those body parts 20 sets a week is good volume. So that could mean that you could do this twice a week, hitting each part, or 3 times a week, You can do more sets twice a week or less sets 3 times a week. You could, by the way, do pushing 3 days a week, pulling 3 days a week, hip and thigh hinging 3 days a week, and you don't have to do them all at the same time. However works best for your schedule. Doesn't matter if it's free weights, bands, kettlebells, body weight, machines. All of these will build muscle. It's really what are you going to do? What works best for you? What's going to be in your schedule? Because the thing that is the single most important thing for being successful in putting on muscle Over everything else, can you guess what it is? Consistency. Consistency. You gotta be consistent. That's super important. Now, when we talk about getting close to failure, I actually don't think you need to go failure. And that's what the research has shown is that when you push all the way to failure where you cannot do another second of the lift, you kind of take yourself out for days afterwards. Remember, if you're sore to the joint, at the joint site or sore to the touch, you overdid it and you need to back off. So you wanna feel like maybe you could get another one or two out. Those are called reps in reserve. The way I look at it is if my speed's slowing way down and I'm just about to lose my form, that's when I stop. And it's always quality, not quantity. Do not do junk sets, right? Always quality. Along this too, you're going to want to make sure that you keep changing things up. I like to do a program for like a month and change things up because your body is built to adapt and then you don't progress. So you got to switch up some exercises. Again, you can also change up your rep ranges. Your tempo. But it's great if you could get a trainer, have them create a routine for you for a month, and then switch it up and do another routine the next month. So you could just keep changing those things up. And then over time you'll learn this and you'll know how to modify these things as you do. Again, this could be with weights, could be machines, dumbbells, kettlebells, barbells. It doesn't matter. It's about challenging yourself. Now, when I first start with someone, I really work within what's called the hypertrophy range. That can be anywhere from 6 to 30 repetitions. I kind of like to hit that 6 to 12 repetition area. If you can't get to 6, make it lighter. If you get past 12, make it heavier. But once you've done that for a while, you can play around with things by going to some more strength-focused, which would be more around 1 to 5 reps. Generally, I like Andy Galpin's formula, the 5x5, where he does 5 sets of 5 reps and you take about a 5-minute rest break. It's boring and slow and hard, and you really got to give your nervous system time to adapt. And then The other thing you can start throwing in as you get more adapted to all this are some power movements. Those are things like kettlebell swings or snatches or up-downs, things where you're, you're moving with speed. They're fast explosive movements. You're gonna do this with lighter weight, but faster movement. All right, let's talk exercise selection, cuz I already mentioned pushing, pulling, hinging, and I like to focus first on compound. Those are those multi-joint exercises, but the single joint exercises are great when you've got an area that's just not getting there. You're like, I want my biceps bigger, Darn it. And so that would be a place where you could do, maybe after you did your pull-ups, after you did your bent-over rows, you could just do some bicep curls, right? So you can just go through that. And then once you've gotten used to really building this program, you can decide, you know, I'm going to take a couple of weeks and just do the strength, just do shorter, heavier sets, or I'm going to take 2 weeks and I'm going to do all power types of stuff for maybe a week. Or you can just throw those in once a week for fun. Again, let's get the foundation down. Let's get your body building, and then you can use these things as tools to mix things up because your body adapts and then you don't see the shifts anymore. So what do you need to do to get started? You're going to the gym or you're at the house and you're about to go and work out. What should you do first? You've heard of warmups and basically they're gonna accomplish two things. The number one thing that a warmup's gonna accomplish is Dun dun! Warming up your body, getting the blood flow throughout your body. This is really important. When I go to the gym, I park farther away in the parking lot, so I have to walk up and down all the stairs, and then I have to walk up the stairs to the gym, to the gym floor. I will tell you the funniest thing that used to like, it just made me laugh every single time, was I used to work out at a gym in LA called Sports Club LA, and the second floor was the gym floor and the third floor was the cardio floor. And no joke, people would literally take the elevator to the cardio floor. I'm like, you have so missed the plot. Like, use the stairs. So use the stairs, do whatever you can to move to get your body warmed up. But then it's really great if you can also do some mobility work. And if you go to YouTube, I, I am going to be making a mobility video. You just heard me commit in public. So I will do this. But in the interim, if you just Google mobility workout, look up on YouTube, you'll see a bunch of great mobility workouts. And what you're just doing is really working through each of your joints, putting them through the range of motion, moving though, not static, moving so that they've really worked through that range of motion before you start your resistance training. Now, in your resistance training, you want to move through full ranges of motion, but you don't want to do that if your body hasn't gone through them first. So mobility are everything like ankle circles, hip circles, side to side, arm circles, big squats with reach-ups, side lunges, getting yourself moving through all the different planes, side to side, front and back rotation, and then getting your joints moving through their big ranges of motion. Now you're warm. Then you go in and your first set— when I do an exercise, my first set is an easy set. It's like 50 to 60% of what I can do. And then I crank it up and the next ones are my working sets where I'm getting close to failure. I've got 1 to 2 reps in reserve. But again, what I've done there is I've really prepped my joints and I prepped my nervous system. Here's what you don't want to do for your nervous system. And this may sound crazy, and I see people do it all the time. You don't want to stretch, static stretching before you exercise or during it. So static stretching, this might surprise you, it reduces neural drive and stiffness and it can actually create smaller gains. So what should you do if you love to stretch? Stretch after a workout, right? Or like if you wanna do a cardio and then a stretch session, you go for it, but don't do it in your workout and especially don't do it before your workout. Okay, so you trained. We're gonna talk eating, of course, that's coming, but you also wanna recover. And here's one that, that I love. My most favorite, favorite, favorite is sauna. Sauna's great before you work out, warms you up. Sauna's great after you work out, it's anabolic and it helps reduce soreness. It's just great. Cold Cold plunge is great, but it's not great immediately after you work out because it can blunt adaptation. So you can use cold plunging, but separate it, I would say, by at least 6 hours. I've never seen research to show exactly how long, but I would do it at least that. What I do in the morning is I'll do heat, cold, and then I will go to the gym and warm up at the gym. Another thing that's great post-workout, foam rolling. Hyperice has this Vibrating foam roller. It is the coolest thing to use. So I've got that plus their Squeezy Boots. And then BonCharge has the great red lights that can help reduce inflammation too. So those are all great. Of course, the best recovery— go to sleep, make sure you're getting your sleep. So I said it was 75% exercise and 25% diet. We still got to figure out the recovery piece because the recovery piece is so mission critical. So maybe we can go to 150%. But of course, in there, is the diet. The biggest stimulus for all of this, of course, is exercise. But if you don't do your diet well, you won't have the energy to exercise, right? And if you don't sleep, you won't have the energy to exercise. So all of these things are super important. Think of them like the three legs on a stool. So of course, with nutrition, I'm gonna kind of hit on the protein, because especially as we're aging and we get more anabolic resistance, it's harder for us to go through muscle proteins than synthesis. We want to make sure we have that leucine trigger that Dr. Donald Layman talks about, of that— he says when you're younger it's 2, 2.5 grams of leucine, but as we get older it's probably 3 grams or more. I've heard Dr. Stacy Sims say maybe it's 4. So what does that mean? 30 to 40 grams of protein at a meal. If it's plant-based, I go with the higher amount just to make sure you're getting that leucine in. And if you're having a wimpy breakfast or having trouble getting it in, essential amino acids are a great little support aid here to do. I, I use them quite often, especially when I'm traveling. And then right alongside that, carbohydrates. Why? Your muscles store carbohydrates in them as glycogen to use for fuel when you're working out. One of the things you're doing when you're exercising is you're using that glycogen in your muscles. So I always wanna make sure that after a workout, I'm putting it back in so I have it for next time, right? So it's gonna help you work out harder. Another thing that can help you work out harder, caffeine. It's like, I think, the most studied ergogenic aid, but apparently it really works best when you haven't been using it much. So that's never me, I love caffeine. Fish oil is another one, it helps reduce inflammation. It's also been shown to be anabolic. Fornitropin, I am obsessed with this product, it's called Yoked. We'll put all of this in the show notes, by the way. This helps support muscle protein synthesis. I literally put on 2.5 pounds of fat-free mass taking this. I could not believe it. Great studies showing that it can increase muscle protein synthesis by as much as 18% in 3 weeks. And that is no easy thing at, uh, as you start to get past the age of 30. Another one I love is collagen. Collagen is not going to build muscle, but collagen is going to help support your connective tissue. And your connective tissue quite often is the big limiter when you're building muscle. So it's super important. And then of course, You know what I'm going to say? Creatine. But not just any creatine. I'm obsessed with creatine HCL. Creatine HCL is way more bioavailable than creatine monohydrate. And yes, I have the studies to show it, and we will link to them in the show notes. It's about 85% absorbed versus creatine monohydrate at 15%. So all that bloaty, bulky, icky feeling you have when you take monohydrate, you don't get it when you take HCL. And you need a microdose of HCL compared to what you need with, um, monohydrate. So why do I love creatine? Creatine so much. It's not gonna— you're not gonna take creatine, sit on the couch, and build muscle. Creatine helps you work out harder, helps you regenerate ATP so you have the energy to work out, and it helps you recover. I also combined mine, my Shiatine, with magnesium and taurine because they are exponential in helping with all of that. So it's like a trifecta for being able to work out hard and recover well. One thing to look out for post-exercise are higher dose toxins like a high-dose vitamin C or curcumin, because this can actually blunt training adaptations. Think of it like an herbal cold plunge or a vitamin cold plunge, right? You can do them, but don't do them right after. Now, if you've heard that you need to get a bunch of excess calories to build muscle, you have to bulk, that's kind of like old, old-school gym bro stuff. Highly unlikely you'll need any extra calories to do this. If you get into a little depletion of calories, you'll steal from fat. But if anything, it'd be mild. Most people, you'll be fine. You'll be able to build muscle while maintaining your weight or even losing weight. It's called recomposition. And this, especially if you've got your protein dialed, you can do this. And this is a great thing. And this is why you got to use your bioimpedance scale to make sure that you can really track what's going on. And of course, one thing I have to do a shout out for is hydration, because when you're at the gym, think about drinking half an ounce to an ounce of water for every minute of working out. Okay, not the minutes of standing around, but I literally take— I have a big jug right here. This is what I take to the gym. With my chiatine, my Electro Replenish, and my Peak Green Tea. So I got my— a little bit of— little caffeine and my amino acid power. Okay, sleep. You're going to build muscle when you sleep, so you got to get good sleep. And one of the things that can happen if you don't get good sleep is that it will jack your cortisol, and then you're in a catabolic state, not an anabolic state. The other thing that's important for building muscle is making sure your hormones are dialed in. You need estrogen to build muscle. Estrogen, thyroid, testosterone— these are all critical for anabolism, for being able to support and build muscle. So if yours are not where they need to be, work with an expert to get those things optimized. I've interviewed a bunch of them on Well Beyond 40. And then the other one that you may not think about is vitamin D. We think about vitamin D for bone, but it's actually important for strength and of course overall immune health. So vitamin D3 with K2. And I always like to do a lab test there— shout out Function Health— to check your levels to optimize your vitamin D3 to be between 50 and 80 ng per mL. Okay, so what are you going to do? Let's put it all together. You're going to lift 2 to 3 times a week. Okay, now you could do your pushing and pulling 2 days a week and your hip and thighs 2 days a week. So, but each body part, you hit it 2 to 3 times a week, and each body part you're going to hit 20 sets per that muscle group each week, and you're going to get close to failure. Remember the 1 to 2 reps in reserve. Then you're going to make sure you're eating protein first, prioritizing 0.7 grams per pound of target body weight or higher, right? Having some carbs with each meal, but especially to refuel those glycogen stores. Get yourself some yolked and some chiatine, and then go to sleep and, and do some good recovery. And when you do that, guess what's going to happen? Doing, you're going to build muscle, you're going to have better metabolism, you're going to age powerfully, and you're not going to be bulky because muscle's where we're going to burn that fat. So let's talk about just a few mistakes that I've seen people make so that you are not one of them. Going and lifting light weights and doing high reps, that's like Barre Pilates where you do rep after rep after rep after rep, or you just never progress. Or maybe you're doing a load, load, load of cardio and little bit of weights. Flip that where you're undereating your protein or undereating in general, that can make it hard for you to put on the muscle. Not pushing yourself, not getting close to failure, not getting to that 1 to 2 reps in reserve. Stretching before training. Remember I talked about not doing the stretching before training? I, I— that was like that old wives' tale that just would not die. Those are the things we're not going to do. I'm never going to go to a gym and catch you over there doing that, right? So your next step, Commit to at least 2 resistance training sessions a week. Track those lifts. Fuel with protein and carbs. And if you want the roadmap to get started, grab my free resistance training cheat sheet and it's gonna walk you through exactly what you need to do to build lean, powerful muscle without getting bulky. 'Cause the goal here isn't smaller, it's stronger. It's more capable. It's more confident in your own skin, right? And when you build muscle, You're not just changing your body, you're changing your metabolism, your mood, your cognition, and the way you age. Okay. Any questions you might have, be sure to drop them below and subscribe so you do not miss another episode. See you next time.