Midlife Health Resilience and Returning to Your Authentic Self with Sage Robbins

Sage Robbins, welcome to the show.

Thank you, JJ Virgin. It's an absolute privilege and honor to be with you today.

I have been wanting you on the show for a while, and especially when we were both on Tamsen Fadal's World's Hottest Menopause Party. And the way you showed up, I was like, I literally, I was like, oh my gosh. And again, you were asking me, what was it? And I go, it just was you. It was just you. It was your presence.

Wow. Thank you. I noticed you as well, JJ. I noticed your, number one, your muscles. I was like, damn. My husband always calls, always says I have olive oil arms. Um, so you're beyond my inspiration. Uh, but also just your authenticity, uh, how you came across, your sincerity, uh, You stood out to me as well, and when you reached out for this conversation, I was, I was delighted, JJ.

Well, thank you. I'm thrilled. I have 3 areas that I want to go into, and I feel like they unfold well in this order because it kind of goes from deep to deepest. And, you know, starting with health and moving into what resilience really means to you, which I feel like kind of comes off of the health, especially with your journey with your daughter.

Yeah.

And then, um, kind of then digging into what it really means to be a woman, how we show up in the world. So kind of, does that sound like a good unfolding?

I'm game. Let's unfold.

Okay. Well, let's go first with health. And if it's okay to turn the light onto you with this one. Sure. Because you have been through quite a journey and, you know, just the journey to have your daughter is amazing. So can you take us through your health journey and what that was like? And, and I want to wrap the bow on it at the end of like where you are now and what your health strategies look like. So just put that in the back of your mind. But like, okay, what's the journey you've gone through to come to here?

Oh my word. Well, for just like all of your listeners, life is a journey. And I think that there's ups and downs. And from my own experience in losing my health at times, I think we greater claim it as well. And as a younger version, I think I mentioned on the event, you know, I missed her. I missed me. I was always, I always had such an external outflow of taking care of others. And I'm a love and I miss taking care of my body and being. And it was the path of, you know, wanting to be a mother and having that longing desire Uh, and then miscarriage after miscarriage after miscarriage. And I found out, uh, through testing and so forth, uh, I was going to different fertility doctors and I was tested and I have a rare genetic, uh, disorder that my body attacked anything foreign, including a baby. And so I could have carried, uh, but I would've had to do chemotherapy and radiation type drugs in order to do so. Um, but it was a wake-up call. It was a wake-up call and I think it was, You know, I went through having the personal desire of wanting to be a mom and then also surrendering that over so many years. Uh, I never imagined it would be a 20-year journey, uh, to having our daughter, and she's 4 here now today, and just a complete and utter miracle. Uh, and then, you know, some people through God's grace, they're able to, you know, just have a baby. I wasn't, I wasn't wired that way. And going through IVF cycle after cycle after cycle after cycle. And it was really humbling. It was really humbling. And I think just that it taught me so many lessons about surrender. And it also, because of the instability biochemically with going through different IVF cycles, it also taught me to wake up to her, wake up to my body and being and I was, uh, 44 years old, still not pregnant, still not having a child at that stage. And I was diagnosed with a pituitary tumor. I had severely high prolactin, uh, high prolactin, and my hormones were so out of whack. As a matter of fact, I went to a endocrinologist. I went to like 5 different endocrinologists trying to find answers. And I went to a fellow here in Florida and he was flipping through my, my, my, um, uh, my paperwork and he just kept saying, "Hmm, interesting. Wow, it's really interesting." And I said, "Sir, what's so interesting?" And he said, "Normally I don't see a profile like this unless a woman is transitioning into a man." And I was like, "Oh, wow." Well, that's not me, but bless. I came home to my husband, I said, "Well, you're married to a dude." And I can laugh about it now, but I share that context 'Cause all of JJ, all of those different, I suppose just on the surface what felt like disappointments or opportunities or challenges, they were just a wake-up call. And you know, my health really started, I say shift when I was 44, I felt like a plug had been pulled out and I just didn't feel like who I was. I felt disconnected, despondent, attributes that I never would've even ever even described of myself. But that was at the tail end of all the cycles of IVF. And I felt like from 44 to where I am today was such a powerful and fruitful journey back to self and really more of an inward journey and self-reflection and truthfully responsibility. I recognized, I remember, you know, I, I went the medical route and then I found some really gifted functional medicine doctors. And I remember the very first gentleman that I spoke to, and he's, you know, very well known. And I, once again, I thought that he was going to be the answer. He was the one that was going to help to balance my, you know, biochemical instability at that stage. And I hung up the phone and I cried and I cried and I cried. And it was a moment of such— I don't know, I just felt, I felt flattened. I felt decimated. But it was from that place that it was like, okay, I, I, I'm gonna serve her. And it completely revolutionized how I relate to my body. Uh, at this stage of my life, I'm, I'm always talking to her and, and looking. I say her, but just this body of how I can, you know, I always say like, how can I support you? How can I bless you? Uh, and from that journey to where I am today, it's been revolutionary. And, uh, because, uh, you know, I include myself at this stage. So I hope that answered your question.

There's, there's like 3 major things that stood out in everything you just said. First of all, the bedside manner of that doctor.

Are you kidding me? I know, I— we laugh, we laugh about it. My family still teases me about that. But anyways, it's all—

oh, I bet. Um, the second one is I'm sure as you were going through this IVF, you were doing a bunch of hormones, right? Yes, extensive. And then coming through those hormones, kind of at a state of when perimenopause started, must have just been like crazy time. You talked about 44 of this, like, you know, I started to go, well, you did all these hormones, then you're going into that. That must have been quite a thing. But the biggest thing that jumps out at me is one that I think is such a big lesson for every woman because I've been working with women and their bodies for 40 years. Wow, JJ. And I know it's wild to think about. I still think of myself as 40, so that gets even weirder, you know? But I find that for so many of us, myself included, a lot of the times the approach to change comes from a place of such self-loathing and this such loss of trust in your body and what it can do and kind of, What I heard in what you described is this shift into trusting your body, trusting yourself, knowing that you are really ultimately the one that was gonna be able to heal yourself and help make this happen. And that's the shift we all need to make.

It is, it is.

Yes, any tips on how you made that shift?

Because that's such a lesson. Well, you know, Tony always says that, you know, we have to be the CEO of our own life, of our own health.. And that's really what I think the energy or the, the focus was from the external. The doctor was gonna fix me. The functional medicine doctor was gonna fix me. And by the way, everybody had a puzzle piece. To be fair, everybody has a puzzle piece, but I recognized that my own vitality, wellbeing, state of mind, physical energy, that's my job. That's my job. And, uh, it really shifted. I, I, I think as well, the fear, the volume of fear turned down cuz I recognized that through my, you know, micro decisions and macro decisions. What was serving, what wasn't serving anymore, what needed to shift, what did I need to give up, you know, in order to really claim a level of health once again. And I think as well, I, I don't know if this is relatable, but for your listeners, it was almost, there was even a catching up to mind was comparing who I used to be and then falling in love with who I am here now. And the truth is, there was that, um, you know, that, that stage or phase of almost like the illusion of loss. And today I can look at my life and I can look at pictures of a younger version of myself. I don't have any hunger or desire to go back to her. I really, I feel most authentically at home in who I am today. Uh, but she was birthed through the loss of health, the gain of health, and even more so just taking responsibility and recognizing that doctors, physicians, naturopaths, they're all a puzzle piece. But health is mind, body, spirit. As you know, you teach that, JJ Virgin, uh, and you reflect that. And I think that that's extraordinarily empowering to recognize that, you know, not only what am I putting into my mouth, but what am I putting into my mind? Mm-hmm. You know, we become, there's so much awareness. It's like gluten-free this or gluten-free that, or, you know, what's toxic or what's not toxic. But there's also, what am I putting into my mind? What am I feeding my mind? Uh, and that became a natural falling away. I remember, you know, when we'd be flying to, I'm making it up right now, but Fiji or Australia, possibly we'd have an event and we'd be at the airport and You know, I'd be going to the magazine, Hudson Magazine stands, and I'd be buying all this, all these magazines that whatever. I mean, I have no judgment of them, but you know, I was really, I was more interested in what other people were doing. And that fell away. That fell away just like social media. I used to have social media on my phone. Now I have it on another phone so that there's that distance. So it's not, I'm not waking up to those notifications. And I feel like that was so transformative for myself as a human being, for the wellbeing of my mind. What am I feeding into my mind? I was as where it began with what am I putting into my body? But then I recognized that there was just as much or, or more discord for what I was feeding into my mind. And it was just like the empty calories that are no longer serving or not necessary. I gave up cupcakes, I gave up People Magazine, I gave up, you know, I, you just, it's, it's blessed. But you know, and by the way, that's not to say that I don't have, uh, you know, a cupcake or ice cream. I do have a sweet tooth, but it's different when it's not a vice.

Correct. Just like People Mag, it is funny. I, I, when, as you said that, I, I used to go when I was traveling a ton. Well, I still travel a ton, but that was my guilty pleasure was to get—

Me too.

Right. And I, that, those are like the ultra-processed food of, yes, of learning, you know. True. It's awful and it's addictive, just like the social media things.

Very much so. JJ, if you look at it, you know, Byron Katie's a very dear friend of ours. I'm not sure if you're familiar with her. She's very gifted. She has a modality called The Work and she talks about how there's business, there's my business, There's your business and there's God's business. If you think about social media or you think about magazines, and by the way, once again, no judgment. There's a, a time and a place for everything. But really, you, I was in other people's businesses. Yeah. You, and I was missing, you were all up in other people's businesses.

Yes.

Now, now I pack my roll-on bag that has all my books and I love it. And, uh, reading glasses so I can actually read the freaking books.

I know these reading, these, I'm, we have a, we have a guy in our mastermind who can fix your eyesight in 5 days and I'm like, as soon as I I can get over there, I'm doing it.

That's amazing.

I know, I can't wait because, uh, yeah, these reading glasses, it's a thing. I still remember I was on a flight to Italy and a friend was like, here, try these on. I was holding a book out there and I'm like, I don't need those. The minute I tried them, it was like the sun came out and the birds started flying in my face. Plummeted.

But this life is so kind, you know. As things begin to shift, there's ways that we can support ourselves. And I think that that was the real wake up, was taking responsibility and shifting my habits. And it wasn't just what I was going to do differently, it was also what I was not going to do.

Oh, that's probably the biggest part, right?

It was.

That you're not gonna do. It was. Well, what's the, what, what do these daily habits look like?

Well, uh, gosh, I have many and they shift cuz once again, I think, you know, I'll, I'll tell you the ones that are, they're just simple. Uh, I wake up every morning. I do, you know, I, I drink lemon water first thing in the morning to flush my system. Uh, I'm a big advocate for drinking warm water. I usually have like a thermos and sounds crazy. I, I started doing that in the last 2 years. I've noticed such a difference in my, uh, energy drinking actually warm, not hot water, but you know, warm water. And I drink it throughout the whole day. Uh, that's just a practice that I do. Um, you know, cutting sugars was one of the, uh, and sugar was an absolute vice. I, I really enjoy sugar and I'd be completely lying. I had 2 chocolates last night to say that I don't eat sugar.

Uh, but I think dark chocolate is an essential that you should eat every day.

However, I love dark chocolate, but I love milk chocolate too. So I'm not almighty saying that I, that I, I do things perfectly cuz I, I don't.

I would hope not because the opposite of perfect is a complete train wreck.

Yes, but there's a reason why you are wearing sleeveless shirt and I'm wearing long sleeve.

No, Sage, the reason I wear sleeveless all the time is because I sweat a lot.

Okay, well, I sweat too, but there's— my arms do not look like your arms. You're inspiring, JJ.

I'm happy to help you with your arms, but I doubt they're quite what you think they are.

Well, thank you. You know, I, uh, you're actually familiar. I, I have my— one of my dearest friends, his name is Billy Beck. I believe you know him. You worked, uh, on a project with him at one point. And we do, it's interesting, you know, I had a story, our life, you know, we were traveling so extensively and I was like, I don't have the time to work out. And you know, the same, oh yeah. Limiting belief that we can all feed into. Right. And Billy Beck, our trainer, uh, he was like, let's do micro workouts. And so now it's so beautiful. Every time we see each other, we'll do 25 squats. So he walks in the house, I'm like, Billy, we give each other a hug and I'm like, let's do our squats. It's so good. And, uh, and then, you know, it just shifted the notion of being able to fit in these micro workouts. And so the other day he was like, how much time do you have? I said, 5 minutes. We went up, we threw a medicine ball, we did some squats. Uh, nice. Uh, you know, it's just, it's a way to engage the body and it really shifted how I look at the gym. I'm sure to, to look like you, JJ, it would take you know, a good probably hour a day. I don't do that.

I don't work out as hard as people think I do. I'm just very specific. But I want to call out something that you're doing is so wise, um, because the research on— it's called vigorous intermittent lifestyle physical activity, VILPA. I call them exercise snacks. But I remember when I called them exercise snacks, someone was like, we get to eat and work out? I go, no, no, maybe that reframe, but It turns out that 4.5 to 10 minutes of this a day, done in little 1 to 2 minute bursts, can reduce your all-cause mortality by 40 to 50%.

Whoa.

It is significant, significant. So, you know, don't look and go, eh, it's— it can make a major difference. And if you put into that some push-ups, some, you know, bent-over rows, some things that really worked your upper body, then that will start to Remove the olive oil arm syndrome.

Well, I have, I have a confession. Hmm. I cannot do, well, it's not that I can't, I can do like 2 pushups unassisted. If not, I'm doing like the old-fashioned pushups with like on my knees. Um, that's where you start. So just to give you a context, my lower body is much stronger than my upper body. Uh, and looking at you and having this conver— I was actually pondering, reflecting on coming to speak to you today and I was like, God is so beautiful. You're a mirror for me. I'm a mirror for you. We're all a mirror to one another. And, uh, I need you to know that I thought about you afterwards and I was just so impressed with who you are at your stage of life, how physically fit you are. You were like dominating the stage in heels.

Uh, and just so, well, I was 6 foot tall next to someone who was 5 foot tall, so that also was it. Yeah.

You're unreal. But just the physicality of who you are. But not only that, also just who you are as a human being. You're lovely, JJ, and it's so beautiful to see those two go together. Uh, and so I want you to know I was so— and am, uh, incredibly inspired by you.

Ah, thank you. Does that mean that we can start a push-up regimen?

All right, when I can get— all right, I'll, I'll—

I'm just gonna throw that one down at you. I gotcha.

Okay, okay.

And I love the fact that your daily health, like Sometimes people get into a routine that becomes a rut rather than becomes this routine that they continue to progress. To me, routines have to shift.

Yes. I know, definitely. I, um, I swim a ton. I'm, I'm just physical. Uh, and like I said, you know, I'll, if I'm brushing my teeth, I'll do 10 squats before I sit on the toilet. I do 10 squats. I just, I, you know, just, I'm, I fit. Things in. I know that sounds strange. You're never going to have me back again.

No, that's how I teach people the habit stack. I literally say, if you're going to go into the bathroom—

oh my gosh, I'm— now I'm really sweating. Um, but all, you know, I, I think it's the little things that make a difference. And, uh, something that's really shifted my mindset is just if I have a moment, it's like, do something now. It's like act now, whether that be through, you know, a meditation, whether that be through something physical. I think, 'cause otherwise I had noticed that I was pushing. I was like, oh, I need to work out. Oh, I wanna meditate. But it was this thing out there that I was talking about at a different stage of life and not fully claiming. And I don't know, this now, this moment here now is as powerful as Annie, and I believe that it gets missed. At least I did. I missed this moment, and this moment is where all change happens.

This, um, the being in the now has been the biggest challenge, I would say, ever for me. I was always way over there, like, always over there. And someone was talking about the gap in the game. I go, oh my gosh, I live in the gap. I'm like, it's— I'm always going there, and there is never here. When you were on, on Tamsen's stage via Zoom, you led us through a meditation. Now How long, 'cause you just were it. It wasn't like, you know, some people are taking you through a meditation and they're taking you through it. You were just, we were all in it. It was quite amazing. If you'd been in the audience, you'd have been like, wow, look at that. How long have you been doing that?

Well, you know, I've meditated for many years and, you know, earlier on in my life, I looked at meditation as something that I bookended my day. I would do, and by the way, I still do, sit meditations, but say I'd meditate maybe for 10 minutes in the morning and 10 minutes at night, or different ways. And there's no right or wrong. Once again, it's, it's trying things on and finding what's true. But where meditation really started to shift, uh, you know, Tony and I being on the road, being at events and having the lights and the sound and 10,000 people at an event, and I'd usually find myself out by the dumpsters. No, no joke. Sitting on a, what do you call, a forklift to catch a beat, to catch a minute amongst all the intensity of events at times. And I found just this practice of finding my breath and tuning in in this moment. Once again, if you're feeling pulled to the now, once again, the now as a concept, or there's this now, right now, this moment. JJ, would you like to, uh, would you like to do it again? Sure. And lead your audience through it? Because why not? You could— whether it's called— I call it 60 Seconds of Grace, 60 Seconds of Peace. But what's beautiful is it's become a way of being. It's become a way of, uh, in between a Zoom, in between a meeting, in between work and dinner time. Before I even— before I tuned into you today, I took a moment and I said a prayer and I caught my breath and I tuned in. And I, I feel, um, I can only speak from a younger version of myself, but that was, um, it's changed how I relate to life. It's changed how I relate to my own, uh, mind in, in being, uh, because I recognize the same thing that we can do physically. It's like, oh, I've got, I've got, you know, 2 minutes, I can do 20 squats. Uh, I have this moment, and if I'm feeling overstimulated, overwhelmed, or not, just the transitions from one meeting to another, transition from work to motherhood, or transition to, from work to coming down and sitting at the dinner table. I long to be present. I think we all do, 'cause that's where intimacy, true intimacy and connectivity and grace is even noticed, never mind experienced.

And that probably was what I was feeling the most now that I think about it. You know, when I said it was your presence, it was that you were really present. 'Cause you can feel when someone's going, what am I gonna say next? What am I gonna do? Am I gonna do my best talk? Am I, you know, Yes. It's like it was none of that. It was just like present. And that, especially nowadays, is probably one of the biggest challenging things to be. It's just present. Yes. And so, and again, in 60 seconds, just a grounding activity can be such an amazing thing.

It can be, because, you know, I, when I first started meditating, and for your listeners and for those of you who can relate, I remember trying meditation and mind had an expectation that mind should stop or that I shouldn't be thinking or that I should— I don't know what I was expecting, but, you know, I was expecting this, you know, samadhi, this enlightened experience. So it's meditating and I was thinking about what I needed to do. I was thinking about what I was gonna wear. I was thinking about, oh my gosh, I'm starving, I want to eat a sandwich. And what really struck me was you know, mind's expectation of what I was meant to experience. And I recognize that that's all part of it. There's really no right or wrong way. And I really feel in the allowance and in the invitation. Let's do it. Okay, let's do it here now. So sit wherever you are and just whatever most comfortable, whatever's most comfortable. Once again, there's no right or wrong. And let's close our eyes. And as you invite your awareness, your attention back to your breath, back to this moment, noticing the miracle of your body being breathed. The miracle of this moment. Continue to notice. Your mind wanders off, just invite it back, your awareness back to this Breath. This moment here now. Gently open your eyes.

Mm-hmm.

What did you notice, JJ?

I caught myself every time I went off and came back through the breath.

Yeah, and what did you experience? What did you feel?

From what I've been really checking in with in life is pushing versus pulling energy. Are you attracting things and drawing them to you, or are you chasing them? And it feels like when you do that kind of a centering activity, you move right into magnetic energy and away from the pushing energy. Does that make sense?

So what I hear from you is, as you tuned into her, as you tuned into your breath, you connected to that magnetic flow. Would that be so? And that you were catching yourself— his mind wandered off, you just invite your awareness back to your breath because that's what mind does. And it's okay. I think for JJ Virgin, as I began to meditate, I had so much judgment and expectation that what was naturally happening was wrong. And that was absurd. That was absurd for me because I stopped doing it. And it's just, it's so beautiful because, well, I guess after this call, I don't know, it's up to you. But as I extend my— I think I'm at 2 push-ups— and possibly this can become a practice for you to connect to that magnetic, um, flow of your breath. I don't know, you know, one of the things that I really fell in love with about you, uh, JJ, was, uh, the, you know, your own story of your son Grant, and you wrote that book, I believe it was called Miracle Mindset. Mm-hmm. To me, this practice is a way to tune into the miracle. You woke up today. I woke up today. My body, your body, we are, if you're listening to this, we have like this miracle of this breath, miracle of life actually happening within us. That's a miracle. Like you're, I loved your I always talk about miracle-mindedness, and then when I saw your book title, uh, title, I was like, oh my gosh, I'm so smitten with you. Uh, because I, I really feel that through our busyness and all of the things that we do, we can miss the miracle. And this practice of, of, uh, tuning in, it's really tuning into the miracle. That's where we experience, uh, the grace. And the gift of life is through our breath. And that just blows my mind. Um, and that's, uh, it's a practice that's really been a blessing.

So you have— I know we're going to give everybody your 5-day minute of meditations, I believe. Oh, beautiful. So I can take that on. Like, as you said this, I'm like, game on, push-ups, meditation.

That's awesome, JJ.

I have a little way for you to make your like your push-up's easier to start.

Okay, well, if you really do, that's, that's a miracle. Never mind my body breathe, if I can do a push-up, that's a real miracle.

You're going to be doing a lot of push-ups, just will be over time. Beautiful. It's important for your longevity.

It is.

And when I think of all of this, you know, I can't help but thinking so much of resilience is this is this coming back to yourself and being at peace and, um, you know, being able to really— like, I look at how I was able to handle what was going on with Grant, and I feel like I just had endured hard things.

Yes.

And gotten to a place with them. What does resilience mean to you?

Resilience? Well, From my own experience, I suppose it's life. Life's legit. Life can be legit. And you know, we all navigate. I always say if you were to pile your life in front of you, if I was to pile mine, all your listeners to do the same, we probably wouldn't trade. You know, I think there's, we all, life at times there's hardships, there's loss, there's disappointments, whatever you wanna call it. There's death. That we're all navigating. And no matter what stage of life we are, I think the volume can actually at times can turn up, you know, can turn up. And I really feel that resilience from my own sense, we can, you can push through with force. I've done that, you know, I've, I've done that and I've gotten really good at that. I recognize through different, you know, my husband about, gosh, maybe about 5 years ago, he had, um, an internal bleed. And we thought we were going to lose him. He lost 4 pints of blood. He was on stage and he had an esophageal tear. And you know, that was one circumstance that not only was humbling, but it was such a wake-up call, JJ. And I recognize like, I don't need to be any stronger than I am. That's a given. That's a given, especially for your women audience that are listening. I think there's that innate— I don't know if it's because we do have the capacity to carry children, but there's that innate fortitude that's within all of us. And I think as we navigate these life challenges, it's humbling, you know, it's humbling, it's stripping, it's stripping 'cause there's certain things that you can push through, force through, and then there's things that you can't, you know, we're not in control. I think that's the, that's the true resilience is recognizing I can't control this, but I can surrender what, you know, I believe life should be because when I think that life should be different, I'm crazy. I'm stressed, I'm suffering. And you know, we can all be guilty of that. I can be, I can still catch that pattern at times. And so I think true resilience is appreciating what life is offering and finding the gift in it, finding the gift in the confusion or the gift in the pain. The gift in this circumstance, you know, when my husband was— when I thought he, you know, we might lose him. What really struck me about that, and I don't know if you experienced this with your son, but there's such a level of closeness, such a level of dearness, of, of connectivity because there's a greater, um, I suppose being awake to the preciousness of life, being awake to the miracle. Where at an earlier stage of life, I was asleep. I was asleep to that. And so I think that that's the real, for myself, I don't know whether that answered your question, but that's, that's the real resilience is recognizing that no matter what life offers us, no matter how challenging or how painful it is contextually, um, that there is a gift in it. And that sounds trite, but a lot of times the gift is our own evolution. And our own being, I don't know, cracked open. You know, you can say that our heart is breaking or our heart is, is opening, and that has been my experience. And yet there also has to be a, I suppose, a willingness to be opened by life, by the pain of it, by the mess of it, and, and knowing that it's a part of it for us. When as a younger version of myself, I was mad about it, you know, and I judged what was happening or didn't want what was happening. I suppose that's the gift of the, my dad's in AA and my family's in the 12-step program. That's a gift of that prayer. God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. I prayed that prayer, JJ, my whole life in AA. I've probably been to more AA meetings than I have church.

Um, could you imagine if they taught that in school? Like, when you were, when you were in, in kindergarten, if that was one of the first things that you learned? Just the beauty of that discernment, that discernment and acceptance. Yes, how different things could, could be.

True. Although I prayed the prayer and I said the words and I didn't know what they meant, and then You know, through life.

Or at different levels. Like you might've been, true.

You know, like true, true.

It feels like a peeling of an onion. Onion.

It is. And that's the gift of resilience. Or I suppose that's the gift of pain is, or when life gets complicated or messy is, I was gonna say you don't have no choice but to surrender, but there is a choice. And it's just kinder when we do. It's kinder when we do.

It's kinder. And inevitably, like you talked about someone having the willingness to kind of go there to look at these things. The reality is, if you don't look at them, they're not going away. They're still going to guide your actions. They just haven't bubbled to the surface, but they're there.

Yeah.

And they're going to impact every area of your life.

True.

And it's kind of like when you're detoxing something, it's always better out than in, right?

Yes.

And the same with this is, yes, those things might be painful, but they're in there whether you're even aware of them or not. Yeah. So once you can address them and kind of get them out into broad daylight, you know, then you can do something about them. And I think of all the people that I know who I truly, truly admire, and the thread that's the common thread with all of them is they have been through some stuff. Hard stuff.

Yeah, true. Well, I think if we're human, we've all had, you know, we've all had a potent dose of life at one stage or another. And if we haven't, it's on its way. It's on its way. Life kind of, you know, it's just unexpected. There's just the unexpectedness. And I think that that's the— I suppose that's the gift of the awakeness, that life is really precious. And, you know, when you said like stuff in there, we're living in there. You're living with her 24 hours a day. I'm living inside of here 24 hours a day. We do so much to make our home beautiful or our bodies beautiful. It can be missed, the, you know, the mind and heart connection or coherence or uprooting the stories or the narratives or the beliefs or the thoughts that are from another day and just aren't serving anymore. And it's so innocent. I think that's just the— that's the gift, or the art, I suppose, of tidying this up. And part of tidying it up is saying, you know what, I'm, I'm not going to feed that story anymore. I'm not going to feed that drama anymore. I'm not going to feed that untruth anymore, because how is it serving this moment here now? It was— I'll give you an example, a physical one that could be relatable. I used to, when we were traveling and had time zones, uh, I used to always be like, oh my gosh, I'm so tired, I'm so tired. And I felt tired. And what one of the shifts when I was 44 and I was feeling a shift, you know, biochemically, is I was complaining all the time about being so tired, but I didn't recognize that I was affirming reality.

Right.

And so I stopped it. I was like, I'm not gonna feed this anymore. And I stopped saying I'm tired. And it's so crazy how much more energy I have. Uh, now if I'm feeling, I'll be like, wow, I'm feeling snuggie.

But 'cause our weight, it matters. I had a, I had a client once who was struggling with his weight and he, I was, I was with him and he said, you know, I am starving outta my mind. I'm like, are you really starving out of your mind? Yeah. And if you are and you're saying that, then guess what you're going to be? Starving out of your mind. But it's, it's— and when Grant was in the hospital, we literally told the doctors, you're not going to walk in and say what he can't do.

Yes.

Like, we are only focusing on him at 110%. If you can't focus there with me, then you're not the doctor on the team.

And that's extraordinary, JJ. You did that You carried that torch for yourself, for your family, for your son, and your word carried that currency, carried that truth. You birthed that into reality by that absolute knowingness and faith that you had, because you wouldn't see it any other way. That's what I, uh, I'm projecting right now, but that was my interpretation, and I just really—

I wouldn't, I wouldn't let it in. I was afraid that if even I teensy bit of doubt came in that he would die. So it was like, not allowed. I just wonder about the woman who, and especially because I see this time from like 40 to 60 as just beautiful reinvention. That's the best time ever. Like I would— Me too. I was like, why couldn't I have just skipped 20 and 30 and plopped into like 50? It was fantastic. However, you look at women who have maybe spent so many years becoming the thing they thought they were supposed to be, and you talk about returning to self, but they were trying to run away from self. And what do they do? How do they come back to a self that maybe wasn't the self they really thought they wanted to be? Does that make sense?

Yes, it does. And by the way, that isn't "they." That was me too. Uh, and I really, you know, I love everything about being a woman. I think it's absolutely extraordinary. Uh, and as well, I think there's unique challenges that we all have to navigate as a woman. And I, I'd say probably one of the biggest is the external, you know, our attention, our focus being outside of ourselves as, you know, in business, as mothers, as as, you know, partners and wife, like, just all daughter and sister. And, uh, and I think it— there's an— we have an innate capacity to love. I really believe that that's our superpower. Uh, and when I look at a younger version of myself, I was— and, and I, I'm still that way. I'm— I, I care tremendously about others. It was just imbalanced because I missed her. And I think that that is and was one of the greatest wake-ups, uh, and I continue to wake up to her. I continue. It's, it's not something that's fixed. It's not— I don't have this mastered. It's— there's, you know, we're always evolving. And, um, I do agree with you, uh, this stage and chapter of my life, it feels like a A coming home. It feels like, oh, this is what you're supposed to feel like.

You know, the minute you said that, I went homecoming, and you said coming home.

Yes. Yeah, it really does. And it does. I don't, I, I, you know, I'll look at younger versions of myself, pictures of myself, and you know, even though I look younger, I prefer pictures of myself today because I, I feel most aligned with who she is. And so I, you know, I, I think it's, there's, there's these cycles of life and stages of life that I think are very natural. And there's this rite of passage. You don't know that from your, from 20 to 30 and 30 to 40 and 40 to 50. And these predictable patterns that are for us, uh, to awaken us. And, uh, even no matter how uncomfortable it is, I look at, like I said, losing my health. If I didn't, I wouldn't have gained my health at this level and really claimed it, I suppose. I gamed it, I claimed it. That's funny 'cause it rhymes, but that was my experience.

So the Unstoppable Summit, She's Unstoppable.

Yes.

You do this every year.

Yes, it's, yes, we do it once a year.

Yes, once a year in, I know it's August 20th through the 22nd this year.

Virtual.

Yes. Um, tell us about what, what goes on there.

Yes, of course. Well, to give you context, JJ, thanks for asking, by the way. Uh, last year we had close to 500,000 women tune in.

Wow.

Yes. Uh, and it's beautiful. Uh, this community of like, like-hearted, like-minded women coming together, wanting to tune in and to claim exactly what you and I have been speaking about. And, you know, in order to, you have to uproot what's false, you know, in order to tap into our most authentic and truest version of ourselves. And what's different this year, actually, the format is it's gonna be a 3-day event, just 2 hours a day. Uh, like you mentioned, it's virtual so people can tune in from wherever they are in the world. But it was, uh, I mean, gosh, we had women, uh, tuning in from all around the world, and yet that one commonality of a hunger and a longing for more. And that more, as we have spoken about today, it's an internal process. And it's really— I'm passionate about unleashing, you know, our false, our false aspects and claiming our most authentic version because it feels true and it feels aligned, and it feels powerful without that force, that magnetic force that you're speaking of. And we all, as women, like I mentioned earlier, I think there are, you know, unique challenges that we're all navigating. And so the summit is really about all of that, to address that, to serve that. And please join us, uh, JJ, I'd love to have you.

Yes. Well, what strikes me about this, and I love this, and I love bringing women together, and I just feel like women We need that sisterhood and collaboration. Yes. In a place where it's safe and we all understand, like, it takes a lot of courage to show up and go, I'm gonna like look at these things.

Yes, yes.

You know, this is not the same as I'm gonna go look at, you know, I'm gonna go to a, you know, style and makeup party. This is not that. This is like, I'm gonna look at my stuff.

Yes.

I'm gonna look at what I've been carrying along with me that's no longer serving me. This is— I might have to take off a mask or two or three, right?

And yeah, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you.

Yes, it's like, yeah, it's fantastic.

It is. It's— it is so powerful. And you, you bring up something so interesting because I think the community of that, just JJ, even you and I right now, this conversation, it's— there's commonalities. And I think You know, to support one another, to hold one another up, to celebrate who we are and what it looks like, and, uh, to explore all the many facets of self. I think that's the beautiful decimating part of being a woman, is we are not one-dimensional and we have all these, as you mentioned, masks. Yeah, masks and just different parts and experiences. Some serve, some don't, but it's really— it's about untapping and unleashing and connecting to and being true to her as well as we are to everybody else. They're just putting it up. I'm sure about these things. She's unstoppable summit.com for any of you whom if this resonates with you, please join us.

We will be putting that— I'm going to put that in the meditations. I'll put everything at jjvirgin.com.

Thank you, JJ.

Sage Robbins, make sure everybody gets this too.

We are, we're going to be doing a lot to support it, and there's no cost. It's a free, it's a free summit.

So amazing. And what's really fun too is, and what I've noticed traveling around the world is it's, it's cross-cultural.

Yes, absolutely. And yet cross-cultural and all these different cultures and people having their own, but yet this unification, there's patterns to being human and there's patterns, never mind being a woman that we all meet. And there's power in that. There's beauty in that, in community. And so that's what, hence why we're doing it again this year. It's something I'm deeply moved by and as well passionate about.

Amazing. Well, thank you for doing that and thank you for doing this. I knew I would love this conversation so much. Likewise. And I appreciate you and everything you're doing. And I'm really excited about your push-up regimen that you're getting started on.

Okay, well, I— we will speak offline. I would love any pointers that you have. And I mean it, you are, you're an inspiration for who you are, for how you live your life, for the mother that you are and continue to be and how you have stood for what perceived to be impossible, JJ. Uh, and then your own physical embodiment of that. I being at that event and seeing you on stage, uh, I was just, wow, I have mad respect, woman. Truly.

Mm-hmm. Well, right back at you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

What a treat. Thank you for the conversation and for having me on, JJ.

All right.