Mindset Hacks to Transform Your Body and Your Life with Susan Hyatt

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Welcome to the JJ Virgin Lifestyle show with celebrity nutrition expert, fitness hall of Famer and four time New York Times best selling author, JJ Virginia. JJ is a warrior mom whose knowledge and expertise have helped change hundreds of thousands of lives. With over 3.5 million podcast downloads and appearances on Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz, the Today Show, Rachael Ray, Larry King, Love.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. This show is about you, not about me. I want to help you find practical, real world ways to dial in your health and mindset so you can finally lose that weight and feel strong and energized. Stop settling for less than your personal best. It's time to find out how to look and feel better than ever. And I'll be right here with you the whole way.

All right.

You know one thing that I love to talk about more than anything else? I'm always interested in new ways to look at weight loss. At dieting. Um, I just, just never gets, never gets old. So I have a very cool guest today who has a little bit of a different approach. She's going to give you some really cool mindset hacks, something that you can do in your closet. Oh my gosh. That is so good. And it is the author of Bear, a seven week program to transform your body, get more energy, feel amazing, and become the bravest, most unstoppable version of you. So as you can tell, there is definitely some mindset going on in here and really good tools that you can put into use for whatever program that you're doing. I have a great guest who struggled with her weight and became a life coach and then a weight loss expert and she is Susan Hyatt. Plus, she's a load of fun. You're gonna totally like her. I had a load of fun doing this interview too, and then tried to convince her that she needed to move to Tampa with me. I'll get her. You just wait and see. Now, before we dive into this and before you hear all about this closet situation, and I'm not going to tell you more than that. I'm just going to tell you that we are going to give you something super duper important about your closet. And you will see. And we might even talk a little bit about exercise, too. So that's coming at you. And she is an amazing gift. You'll be able to get that. Jjvirgin.com bear b a r E She'll tell you all about it. I was kind of blown away. You'll hear from my reaction. But before we get there, I want to do a shout out to Gray Vacado. Gravicado. I guess it's gravocado. Gravicado says Virgin died. Five stars in Apple podcasts did me a lot of good. Veered off my clean eating for two weeks and I feel the ickiness of my gut and mood. Thank you for taking the time to produce good info and you are super welcome. And thank you for taking the time for leaving a review. Like these mean a ton. I really appreciate it. And that is the other thing. You know what I've tried to do with these podcasts. What I am doing with these podcasts is leaving, giving you information, bringing on super cool experts, also interviewing myself. Try to get one of those in every week as well and give you really actionable things. And a lot of times it's just what you needed at just the right time. Susan Hyatt, welcome to the show. So glad you're here with me.

Thank you so much, jj. It's an honor.

Well, we always love to dive into weight loss over here. It's our favorite subject and it's going to be fun because I think you have a little bit of a different take on it and I'd love to know how you got into doing what you're doing.

Absolutely. So the long story is I was a burnout real estate agent prior to becoming a life coach, and I was a coach for about a year when I decided that I really needed to take a look at what was going on with my own body. I was about 35 to 40 pounds over my natural weight and I hired a weight loss coach named Brooke Castillo. After losing the weight in about six months, I decided, wow, if, if me, a former couch potato, could become someone who works out and takes exceptional care of herself, if, if I could do that, then certainly I could teach other women to do the same. And so for the next decade, I At least 50% of my business was helping women lose weight. But what I noticed in that decade of research and training and coaching was that my space in this arena was really around self love and helping women love the skin that they're in while also learning how to take exceptional care of themselves. And so I developed the bear process along the way that's deeply rooted in pleasure, as opposed to white knuckling willpower.

So that leads into where I want to go first with this is what do you think is one thing every woman. And you call it a shocking discovery about dieting that you think every woman needs to know?

Yeah, this. My shocking discovery is that you have enough willpower. I can't tell you how often I'm sure you've heard it. I used to say it to myself, if I just had enough willpower, I could do it. If I just had enough willpower, I could resist the brownies or whatever it might be. And my shocking discovery was actually I needed to add more pleasure into my life, and that helped calm so many things down that I was able to hear myself and make changes that were sustainable.

All right. That is awesome. I actually can't stand the whole concept of willpower. I think if it doesn't even make sense. Like, if willpower were actually a thing, we wouldn't, as a people group be here. We are in hardwired in our DNA to go out there and gorge so that we survive famine. So this whole willpower thing is just silliness. Now, you talk about unlocking the secret to sustainable exercise, and I talk a lot about exercise, and I'd love to know what this. Because obviously, the most important thing with anything that we do is getting this into a consistent rhythm. So what's that secret?

Right. Well, as I mentioned before, I was a professional couch potato. And when I started my journey, I said to my coach, I'll do anything you ask me, but exercise I will not. And she laughed just like that, jj. And I was just so against it. I had built up in my mind.

Why were you against it?

Oh, my God. It's the most ridiculous thing. And I tend to attract clients like this that think they're so smart, they're so intelligent, they have so many things they need to be doing in the world, that exercise was beneath them, that women. I can't even hardly say it out loud anymore because I'm so the opposite now, but that women who put moving their bodies as a priority were somehow shallow or vain.

Well, remember when the whole exercise movement really took hold way back when it first came out as a vanity thing. I mean, I remember I was one of the first personal trainers and people. It was clearly not about health back then. I mean, now we know you cannot be healthy without moving your body. Like, you must do it, but I think at the start, it was kind of seen that way, which is ridiculous.

But, yeah, it was like Gold's Gym and leg warmers and. And I was just.

I rocked those leg warmers, honey.

I bet you did. I did not. And so I was against that image for myself. But what I discovered in terms of sustainable and just learning to love that inner athlete was that I teach my clients to drop the transaction. So outside of your arms workouts, jj, which is how I found you years ago, dropping the transaction of, oh, I'll only do this. I'll only move my body in this way. If I end up with J. Lo's booty or, you know, rocking abs, it's more. I'm going to move my body in a way that feels like love, so that it's sustainable. It's a creature, it needs to move. I need the endorphins, but not so that it gives me some kind of ridiculous result.

That's probably not going to happen anyway.

It's not going to happen. I mean, honest to goodness, I am obsessed right now with the peloton spin bike. Are you a peloton user yet, jj?

I am not. And I won't never be a peloton user.

I know.

It's like, my girlfriends are. And I'm like, yeah, it's not. It's. That actually is not my thing, so. And I was in spin classes way back when. I mean, when Johnny G was doing them in LA before it was a thing.

Johnny G. I don't even know who that is, but I need to Google it.

He's the guy who created all of this way back when in la. Like, I have been from the beginning.

In all of this. You are.

And I taught so many classes and I am a lone ranger now in workouts. I don't want to compete with somebody else. I just. I'm in my own flow and groove.

Right.

Is it so. So, yes.

I know.

They keep telling me and I'm like, yeah, it's not gonna. That's. Yeah, not happening.

I. I can tell you that I am the least likely. It is a marvel to me because I'm not an indoor exerciser. I'm definitely have never been a spin fan and I'm not a gadget person, so I've never been, like, a Fitbit person. Or someone who, like you said, like, I don't compete on time. I don't really care. And the fact that I have one is a marvel to me. But anyway, there is a spin instructor on the peloton named Robin Arzon who also has a book out called Shut up and Run. And she is my workout Beyonce. So when I'm on the peloton and I'm looking at Robin Arzon, who is like chiseled from the gods. Okay, right. So she's doing like five spin classes a day and she runs on average 12 miles a day. And she also does weights. She is a fitness model. This is her full time job. I can look at her in total appreciation but not make it mean something about my body that is detrimental. And I think that that's the thing is that it's. Unless you're willing to spend 100% of your time doing that kind of level of intensity and working out, you're just not gonna, you're just not gonna turn out like JLO by Friday. It's never gonna happen.

And what would happen anyway if you did? Like what? Like, and what's different? Like what? How does your life change? You know, it doesn't all of a sudden you get there and then you become obsessed with like the next level of it, and it just is a ridiculous thing.

I agree, I agree.

Let it go.

Let it go.

That's it.

Love your God. Let that go.

Go, Let it go. But, and I think the key takeaway in that you're like obsessed with your peloton and your this Robin gal is that it's more finding that thing that you dig that totally works for you, whatever the heck it is. I keep wanting it to be yoga in my life maybe, you know, in my life. I like, I like, in my perfect world, I never swear and I do yoga. Like, that is the vision, but it's just, it's not the reality. So that's okay, you know, that is okay.

And same, same, same. I only did yoga when I was injured and I loved it while I had to, but I immediately went back to running.

Yeah, it's like I just told my husband, I go, you know, we should really look at start yoga. You know, he's like looking at me again, smirking at me, because he knows what that, you know, it's just going to be ridiculous. It's like. Anyway, all right, so you have something insane here. You have an insane question. And when I was looking over all your work and I'm like looking and I'm like, huh? Because you have this thing here that says, can your wardrobe really affect your weight? I'm like, what? What?

What?

Say that again. What can it.

Yes, it can it explain. Is that so now I would guess if I had to guess. Do you mean that if you wear like a mumu dress or like elastic waist pants or. Or. I will give you this story. I was. I used to own a gym. And one season I never got on the scale the entire season, which is why I teach people not to do this. And I wore. I wore leggings every single day. And so I thought everything was awesome until I went to put on my real pants. And. And it was so funny because I was like, I first put on my first pair of pants. I'm like, oh, they must have just gotten out of the dryer. Oh my gosh. That's what I say too. Oh. Oh, wow. Huh? Those just. And I'm like, wait a minute. You know, these don't even go in the wash. You know, it's like, clearly not so. All right. What do you mean by that?

So have you watched Marie Kondo's new show, Tidying up on Netflix?

No, I have not.

Okay, so years ago, when Marie Kondo's book the Magic of Tidying up came out, I read it. I am also not someone who. I have a pretty tidy place, but I wouldn't consider myself someone who cares that much about being. Having super organized closets or drawers, although they are. It's just not obsessive about it. And I didn't really care to read another decluttering book. I'm like, what are they going to say other than, you know, pack it up people. And one of the great questions in that book is, does this spark Joy? And her. Her whole show is amazing. People should watch it. It's a great feel good show. But I started to think about that in my approach with my clients and that what's going on in your closet? And does your wardrobe spark Joy? Like, what's in there? And if any of your listeners are like me, how I used to be, multiple sizes, there's all this ambition clothing, like, oh, if I just use that, lose that last ten pounds, you know, like you've got those should not be.

Allowed in your closet.

No, ma', am, it's gotta go. Because it's absolutely.

Nor should the ones that allow you to gain weight. That's that when I used to work one on one with people, I'm like, the minute that they. They could get rid of a size, I'm like, it's gone. It's like, this is not optional anymore. It's not going to be sitting there waiting for you.

Right. And that was me, the other end. I had every size jean, all these clothes, all these pieces of clothing, like. Well, because my former self and my clients don't trust themselves not to need the larger sizes that they really don't need. And so. So it's get rid of anything in your closet that doesn't fit you right now. And also, does it spark joy? Just because it looks cute on you doesn't mean it necessarily sparks joy. It might be itchy. There's a real magic and energy to what you put against your skin. And if what you're putting against your skin is like, oh, it's acceptable. It covers my muffin top. It, you know, fill in the blank. It's got to go. I only want things in my client, my closet, my client's closets that fit them properly, that spark joy that they feel amazing in, no matter what size they are right now.

That's very good.

Yeah, because.

And I think, you know, it's like, I think making that closet audit and also taking out those. Those aspirational clothes just make you feel like crap.

Yes, they do. They make you feel like crap. And what do they do when you feel like crap? You go overeat and you create this vicious cycle of needing to lose the last 10 to 15 so you can fit into that clothes. And, oh, there's that dress again that I. I can't wear.

So get. Get rid of anything that doesn't fit you is the big takeaway either. Which way? Give it to Dress for Success. We're actually doing that at one of our events.

We're bringing.

We're bringing a bunch of clothes in for Dress for Success. So there's plenty of places to. To donate it, which is how I've always done it with any of my stuff. Is I donate that stuff out, get it gone. All right. Now you teach women how to make a scene.

Yes, ma'. Am.

Be seen. Okay. Yes.

What does this mean? So making a scene. This. This phrase would not let me go. Starting probably three, four years ago, I was on a run in my neighborhood. I usually run in the early morning with my best friend, but it was during the holiday season. She couldn't go that day. So I waited until it was daylight and went around lunchtime. And I encountered a couple of teenage girls with a puppy and bent down to pet the puppy. Kept going. And on my way back, as I was coming upon the park where they were. I noticed that there was this big guy in the puppy owner's face, screaming at her, pointing in her face. And the. And the leash. The puppy's leash was wrapped around her ankles, and she and her friend and the puppy were cowering. And I, you know, my kids are 18 and 20, and mama bear kicked in, and I, like, picked up my pace. Her friend was kind of waving to me, like, help. And I ran up. I'm only five three, 115 pounds, and this. This guy is like six foot five. And I said, you might want to back up with some curse words that I won't say on your podcast. And this guy backed up and looked at me like, oh, this lady's crazy. But he. He had quite a bit to say to me, like, oh, what are you going to do about it? And I let him know in. In so many choice words, what I was going to do about it. And I looked over and he had a friend parked by the curb. And his friend was like, hey, dude, get in the car. Quit being an idiot. And luckily he left. And the girl sunk to the sidewalk and was crying. And I, you know, I sunk down with her and was like, it's okay. How scary. And she said, I'm just so embarrassed that we made a scene. And I said, you know what? Your life is worth making a scene over. And I thought to myself, I grew up in the south, and so many women are raised to tone it down. Don't make a scene. What will everybody think? And when I went home, I couldn't shake, first of all, the adrenaline for a while. But thinking about this young girl, she was probably a freshman in college, and thinking about how she had received the messaging from whether it was her family or culture at large, that, you know, it's better for you to suck it up and not make a scene. And so I decided as part of my work that I would encourage women to advocate not just for themselves, but for other women. And how do we all in our lives somehow tone it down or not say what we need to say or not step up and do what we want to do? Because we're afraid to be noticed or afraid to make a scene. And so part of the bear process is really deciding what area in your life do you really need to be seen and be more vocal and create boundaries and make a scene? And for so many of my clients, when they learn how to do that, when they feel empowered to do that, all of a sudden, late night chocolate cake is so much less enticing So.

I would look at that and, you know, I was seeing back to my own mom, who I would send things back at the restaurant. She goes, oh, don't make a scene.

Yes.

And I don't know, it never dawned on me to pay to listen to her advice on that. Thankfully, I grew up in Berkeley. Like, women made scenes, you know, totally fine. She grew up in the Midwest. Women didn't make scenes. But I also think that the way you do one thing is the way you do everything, and that it can be as simple as starting with, I'm going to. I'm going to send this back. This wasn't the right thing. I ordered at the restaurant. I'd watch my mom. I go, you didn't order that. Why are you like. Like, why not ask for this thing? Why are you so afraid? And I think as women, too, we're afraid someone's going to say we're a. You know, the B word.

Absolutely.

Which someone said is pointed out as babe in total control of herself.

Yeah.

And you know what? If you every day practiced making a little bit of a scene.

Absolutely. And like you said, it's. It's small things that make a big, significant impact. Like one little story in my own life was flying with my husband. This was several years back. The flight attendant came by, asked what we wanted to drink. You know, I took some water and a little cup and he asked for a Diet Coke. And he asked for the whole can. And I remember going, wait, that's a thing. Like, I could ask for the whole can. And it was such a tiny thing where it's like, pay attention. Send the food back if it's not any good, Ask for the table that you know is not going to leave you cold or by the kitchen, you know, ask for the raise, advocate for yourself in a staff meeting, show up at pta, whatever it might be. But speak up.

Up.

Yeah. And yes, you're gonna ruffle some feathers.

Yeah.

Who cares? Oh, my gosh. Mom was like, you're gonna ruffle somebody good.

I know. My mom, too. My mom still, she doesn't know what to do with me still.

I know. Oh, man. I don't know where you learned this, but we're in a transitional generation too, I think, is what's going on, you.

Know, I think so, too, because my 18 year old, she could really give a flying leap, you know, she. She teaches me so much about making a scene.

Yeah. It's fantastic. That's great. Now, I want to close it with this question that you like to Ask which is what feels like love? So, you know, let's talk this through. What do you use this for? How does this work?

So this is a great guiding question. So when I'm working with people and asking them to drop feeling like they need to white knuckle willpower and move more into pleasure, the question what feels like love could be around. What food are you putting in your body? How are you moving your body? How are you speaking up to yourself? What feels like love might not feel like bon bons in a nap. It might feel like showing up for a podcast interview. It might feel like going into your boss's office and articulating why you deserve a raise. And that question changed the trajectory of my entire life because what I thought felt like love was easy. And love typically doesn't mean easy. It means in the highest and best service to you.

So it's kind of your Marie Kondo question.

Yeah. Yeah, it sure.

Does this bring me joy?

Yeah, absolutely.

Very cool. Now you have a very cool thing for everybody listening. And you're going to be able to get this@jjvirgin.com forward slash, bear b a r e not bear, gur bear b a R E S and take it all off.

Right, so I'm giving all of your listeners a free seat at a let's Get Bear online class. So that's valued at 500 bucks and a downloadable.

I didn't know that.

Yes, ma'.

Am.

Yeah, and I'm a great teacher. So y' all show up. And then there's also a free downloadable workbook that accompanies the book. So I think people would really enjoy it, too.

That is fantastic. Thank you so much again. Jjvirgin.com bear and I super appreciate you taking your time out with me today. Susan, thank you so much for being here.

Thank you. This was my delight.

Now after the break, I'll be answering a listener's questions. So stay with me. Welcome back. This is the time where I answer a listener's question. So today's question came off of Facebook from Kathy.

You want to know?

I know I should exercise. I just don't want to. How do I get myself to do it? And you know, this is perfect. Came up today already and I was interested because in talking to Susan, she said every day she ran with a friend. So how do you get yourself to do it? Here's a couple different things that you can do. Number one, I always say, figure out your why. Like, why are you doing this? And again, don't make it something like I want JLo's booties or JJ's arms? Okay. Make it something that is a big why, a purposeful why. Something that's going to help you shift. You know, I knew that I wanted to be able to go. I had two little boys and you know, I kept doing all the workouts I was doing. First of all, because it's my career and I can't really get away with like getting out of shape. That'd be kind of weird. But you know, hey, I want to run around with my kids. There it is. You know, I want to be that mom, that mom that can actually do the tumbling stuff with her kids and will jump in the pool with her kids and we'll climb up the rope with her kids like that mom. So, you know, that was one of the things that was inspiring to me. That's a way bigger why than I want to have great arms. So that's the first part. And then put the tools in place that make this thing happy. Put that happen, put the strategies in place. Here's some of the strategies. And I learned this early on being a personal trainer. So when I first started as a personal trainer, I would charge people by the session and, and they generally would pay at the end of the week and sometimes they would cancel on me last minute. And what I learned was that if I charge them in advance and they could not cancel with less than 48 hours of notice, they didn't cancel, they showed up more and it was better for them. I was doing them a disservice the other way. So what I would tell you is hire a coach if you can. You could always work out with a couple friends, pay for something because the way you commit is with your time in your wallet and, and make sure that whatever you pay for, you lose it if you don't use it. So if it's a class or whatever, if you don't show up, you just lost it because guess what? You'll think twice about bailing. Next thing find schedule it in like any other non negotiable appointment. Now generally people who work out in the morning tend to be the best at consistency because nothing gets in the way. I just don't like working out in the morning, so I tend to work out midday or early afternoon. Figure out your time that works best for you, that becomes non negotiable. Put it into the mix and that is that do it. All right.

Super duper important.

If you can't to a coach, get an accountability partner, right? And then remember what you measure you can improve. So figure out what you're going to do. It's really great. If you have an accountability partner, maybe you have a, you gamify it, you do a bet or something else. But then monitor your progress, track your progress. You'll see how much stronger you're getting, fitter you're getting. Right. And that then will become its own source of inspiration for you. All right. I love it when you guys jump on Facebook and Instagram when I'm live and hang out, ask questions and super fun. And I always find ones I can pull back over to the show. So thank you for that. And if you're listening here and you haven't jumped in and left a review yet, they help a ton. I super appreciate it. So if you haven't, you would. I would really love it. And while you're there, be sure to subscribe so you do not miss, miss any of this. Goodness. All right, see you next time. Bye.

That's all for this episode of the JJ Virgin Lifestyle show, which marks another step towards a healthier body and mind. Don't forget to rate, review and subscribe to the show and we'll talk to you next week.

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