Shift Your Life with Dean Graziosi

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Hey, it's JJ Virgin. And welcome to the JJ Virgin lifestyle show where I talk nutrition, fitness and mindset with some of the coolest people in the world. Plus, I give you tips that you can put into fast action to up level your health and your mindset so that you can go out there and live that big life you're meant to live. So today's show is all about just that, going out and living your big life and the things that you need to go and do that. And I'm not going to tell you what those things are yet because then I'll blow the surprise of them. And it kind of boils down to one thing. And you're going to hear about that one thing from honestly, one of my favorite people around, and it's Dean Graziosa. You've probably seen him because the Guy's been on TV every single day for the last 15 years with his books and success training through direct response TV shows. And he speaks all over. He's speaking to as many as 20,000 people at a time. Major book sales. He sold millions of books. He's been on the New York Times multiple times. He is just. Here's the thing, he's an amazing, amazing success trainer. I think he's, like, considered to be the number one success trainer in the world. He is an amazing business phenomenon. But that actually isn't what is most fantastic about Dean. He's an awesome father. He's been an amazing friend. We know each other, we spend time together. But he's one of those people that, you know, if you, if you need it, you can call him and he's right there. And you can't say that about just everybody. So he's the real deal.

Deal.

And wait till you hear where he grew up. It is crazy. So hang on, I'm bringing him in. Today's guest is Dean Graziosi. All right, so let's do it. Dean Graziosi, welcome to the show. I'm so glad you're here with me today.

So good to be here.

Oh, my gosh. So many things to jump in on. And, you know, I can't Just jump in with questions without kind of getting some background for everyone on you since, you know, your hero's journey is, like, so extreme. I mean, you know, I don't really know anyone else who, like, lived in a bathroom for a period of time, you know? Yes. That sounds. Now people are like, what? So maybe the shortened. The shortened version of your hero's journey, because it gives it. It gives people a. A lot of hope, and it's such a dichotomy from where you are now.

Yeah. Living in the bathroom, though. When I was 11, I lived with my dad, and he just didn't have any money and, you know, not couldn't find a job and was. We literally lived in a bathroom for about eight months. It was the only place because we literally took. He took the doorknob off the bathroom door, and it was a house that he was trying to kind of rehab, but there was no heat. There was no windows in parts of the house, no studs in the wall. I mean, it was just crazy. But so we put the extension cord through the little doorknob, and we plugged in an electric heater. And at night, we'd drag in a mattress, and in the morning, literally, we'd pull out the mattress. I'd sit outside the door and freeze while he got dressed. Then I'd go in and take a shower, get dressed, and come out. We did that for, like, eight months. I mean, that's just one part of the story. But all those stories that so many of your listeners have, we all have those experiences, and we get to use them as our anchor and the poor me. Or we get to use them as. As the wind behind our sails to make sure that we stop that and that my kids never have to live in a bathroom or be homeless or get evicted from. I lived in a trailer with my mom before I moved in with my dad, and we literally got evicted from our trailer.

So those stories.

It's pretty rough to get evicted from the rented trailer.

Yeah. Yeah. It's like, yeah, I was living in my car, and I got evicted.

I had to jump out.

What?

No, I'm kidding about that one. But. But those lessons. What I love. Let me just first turn this back on you, jj. What I love about what you do, and I feel blessed to be in this industry, is you deliver hope. You deliver the strategies, the thoughts. One thing that we talk about today in this quick interview could be that shifting point for somebody listening right now, rather than living in a repetitive, hypnotic rhythm of thinking, this is as good as life. Gets to. If we can inspire with our words, inspire with our hero's journey, or just inspire with a strategy, we can help people get out. I mean, I look back on my life, and I hoped someday that I wouldn't be homeless. I hoped that I wouldn't live in a trailer. I never thought that someday that I'd have the ability to write multiple New York Times best sellers and speak to people all around the world and sell millions of books. All that's great. But it all started because one day I just decided that my story sucked and I didn't want to live the same way. My parents never made any money, and my grandparents didn't make money and my family didn't. And I was able to shift that with just a few changes in my habits.

Let's go right there, Dean. Let's go right there. You can't say something provocative like that. And without going, okay, all right. You said I was able to shift that with just a few changes in my habits. What would that be like? How did you do that? Because that's. Again, you've got this whole history, and so many people become their family's history, right? You had this whole history that never would have predicted that you are where you are now. So what was. What was that shift? And what did you do?

You know, when you look back now at, you know, 47 years old, I look back and it's more eloquent to tell the story right? But when you're in the fricking thick of it, when you're. When you can't really see it so much, it's so cloudy around you, sometimes it's really difficult to see through the dust, to see where your life could go. But I say I shifted my habits because I look back now and realize that was the shift. My father, my mother, my grandparents, and my family, they had certain habits that kept them right where they were, that kept them stuck. And one of, you know, there's so many. But one of the things I remember getting crystal clear on at probably 20 years old, when I had the biggest shift in my life. I started working for myself at 17. But really a big shift in my thinking is when I got very clear on where I wanted to go. Now, we've all said that you've read it in a million different books, but most of the world. And I remember even up until my early 20s, I always knew what I didn't want. I didn't want to be broke anymore. I didn't want to be like my parents. I didn't want to. My parents were married nine times. By the time I was 19, I moved 20 times. It was crazy, right? I didn't want to be them. And I thought that was enough JJ to take me from there to a new place. And it wasn't because all I knew is what I didn't want out of life. And I remember getting clarity and everything changed when I knew exactly what I wanted. I mean, you can ask 100 people what they don't want, they'll ramble it off. When you ask them what they definitely want out of life, most people say, well, let me think about that and just turning around. And I don't know when I learned this, how I learned it, but what I'd say to everybody listening, if you want clarity on where you want to go, I'm not talking about thinking what you want, hoping what you want, wanting to get out of this mess. I'm talking about ice, crystal clear clarity. Pretend it's a year from now and it was the best year of your life. What does that year look like? And just write down non stop. And that's how you find. I mean, there's a million ways, but that's how I found my goals for me were a little tough when the poop's hitting the fan from trying to be what I wanted to say. But when I can turn around and see a good year, then you can just jot down what that year looks like and you start getting vision. Because when people say they don't have time or they're overwhelmed or there's too much complexity in their life or they're stressed, to me it just means you don't know where you want to go and you're saying yes to too many things in your life when you should be saying no to most.

And but someone, so someone's got that, they sit down, they go, okay, what would that great year look like? And you know, part of it is turning off that. That inner critic that's going, you could never have that. But you've got to do all this other stuff, you know that. Well, I already started these things. I got to keep going. You know all that stuff, all that inner critic and self doubt that starts to come up when you do this. What do you do about that? How do you overcome that?

So for me it was listening to, okay, so say you get clarity on where you want to go. I know where I want to go. Then I bump up everything. Just take a week of your life and bump everything you do up against those goals. So if you're doing stuff that doesn't serve your goals, doesn't serve a higher power, doesn't serve your family, doesn't push you in that direction. It's things that have eventually got to go. So that's first thing. Secondly, what I found with me, jj, is what killed my confidence to where I would never think I could reach my goals or have this great life is I always was felt or taught to work on my weaknesses. And I'm not good at reading. I had dyslexia all through school. I was in special reading. I barely got out of high school. I never went to college. And it was all because I thought I was in fear. I thought I was flawed. I thought there was something wrong with me, and I focused on that, and it didn't let my. My greatness shine through. So what I share with everybody listening, you're carrying something right now that you think you suck at. You think that you should be better. And what that does is it taps your confidence, and it keeps you where you are. It keeps you saying, I'm good enough, that life is okay. You smile on the outside, you want more on the inside, because you don't have the confidence to take that action. So the greatest gift that I look back on in my life was to hell with your weaknesses, get great at what you're good at, and eventually pay someone to do the stuff you suck at. Exactly.

I had a great mentor early on, and she goes, you don't strengthen weakness. You strengthen strength. And I kept that, like, was a shift. That was a massive shift.

JJ, I walked around probably till 10th grade with my head down, feeling insecure because I was in that little room with special reading. And this is everybody listening. It's not, poor me. There's people with a lot worse things. But I just know if I didn't flip that confidence and start realizing that I'm an audible learner, a visual learner, that I had a unique gift, that I was being judged by an outdated scorecard. If I didn't flip that, I would have never had the confidence to be able to see where my bigger future would be. So I just encourage everybody, don't focus on what you stink at. All it does is rob your confidence, and they'll keep you stuck where you are.

You know, it was so funny when I was at college, I was in a. In an English class, you know, one you had to take, and the teacher insulted me and told me I couldn't write and basically, you know, like, said I was stupid for the whole class. So I became an English major. Like, the thing I'm not good at, you know, I look at it now because people go, well, you're a writer. I go, I actually hate to write. Like, I don't like that. I like math, you know?

Yeah.

So it is interesting how you carry that through. But then let's say you've got the clarity. You're now strengthening your strengths. But, you know, like, I think the most successful people I've ever seen are also the people who've failed the most, but they get back up and go through it. So how. How do you get someone who just failed to get back up and keep going?

You know, I just used you as an example on stage, jj, because that is such a. No, it's such. Because what happens when you fail is. It is just. I think it's innate. I think we're built this way. I think we're designed this way. When things go wrong, we always want to know whose fault it is, why did it happen? How could this happen to me? And it's not a victim mindset. It's like. It's how we're wired, right? And I see it with family and friends and so many people around me that want more. But the relationship goes sideways, the partnership goes wrong, the company goes bankrupt, and it grabs people and holds them so captive, and we need all of our energy to focus on where we want to go and learn from it. And I used you as an example, jj, with your son, with Grant, when. When that happened, and that story that I can't even imagine. I won't pretend to put myself in your shoes, but I know you didn't care who hit your son, how it happened, whose fault it was, or try to put somebody in jail. All of your energy had to go for. I am going to make grant 110%, no matter what it takes. If your energy was going backwards on why, whose fault we got in a fight that night, why did he go out by himself? I don't know. You would have accomplished the amazing things that you did. I admire you. I share it with everybody I talk about, and that's just a prime example of everybody listening. What failure in your past? What bad relationship? What went sideways that's still affecting you today and keeping you from the energy you need to go forward. Listen, this is a competitive world. You can't dabble in a bigger future. You can't use 80% of your confidence, 80% of your energy. You're going to stay where you are. If you want to move forward, it's all got to be the energy for right now and tomorrow. And we just take our past and use it as research and development. We want to learn from it, but then we just got to let it pass through us.

So you know, what you just kind of threw out there was really about being a high achiever, like living as a high achiever. And so it's not just kind of stepping into that, but then it's also staying with that. Got some tips for that?

Yeah, you know, I just know. So the foundation that keeps me motivated every day. And again, everything I'm sharing, guys, you've probably heard before, but it's a good reminder. And sometimes it's just somebody saying it a little differently because we're all looking for that next new thing that's going to make us successful, a high achiever, be a high performer. And it boils down to some really fundamental things that most all successful people were lucky enough to learn, be taught or just acquire. And for me, when my motivation lacks, when I'm having a rough day and we all do, doesn't matter what level of life you're on, is I have to fall back to why the hell am I doing all this in the first place? And I spent some time about nine years ago really digging deep into my why. I thought first it was because I didn't like the insecurity of life and I didn't like being broke and I wanted financial freedom and I wanted the money. And when I really dug in and got out of my head on the stories and the thoughts for me personally, I dug into my true why I do everything, why I get up, why I'm a high achiever, why I go 100 miles an hour, why I love to be a great dad and do the best in all of it is because when my heart really spoke to me is I never want to go backwards. When I was a kid, I don't like being broke and wearing hand me downs and getting evicted from a trailer I didn't like. So I found a why that I didn't want to go backwards. Secondly, I wanted to give my kids choices that I didn't have that hit my heart. That's powerful for me. Not raise entitled kids, but give them choices. And the last one, I just want to be in control of my life. I hated that I moved 20 times by the time I was 19 and uprooted and stepbrothers and stepsisters and money was everything my parents ever talked about because they didn't have it. And when I really dug into my heart JJ of knowing I didn't want to go backwards. I want my kids to have choices, and I want to be in control. I want to live where I want. I want to be the dad I want to be. I want to dress the way I want. I want to talk the way I want. I want to be my own boss. When that fundamental, foundational why that came from my heart. When I have a tough day, when I want to go backwards, when I don't want to be a high achiever, when I want to focus on what went wrong, not where I can go. When all those things happen, when I focus on my personal why, nothing gets in my way. Nothing will stop me. I will climb over Mount Everest for those three, three fundamental, you know, foundational, you know, core whys that drive me?

And you said something huge there, and it's kind of one of my through lines in my life and work. And you said, you know, so I want to have control over it. And I view that as. That means you took personal responsibility for your life, which is, you know, once you do, it's like, yeah, you may not be able to control. I looked at with my son, okay, something I couldn't control him being hit by the car, then I could. But I could control my reactions. I can control. And that's. Ultimately, that means that therefore, I got it. I gained back the control and I took personal responsibility. So powerful. Now I want to throw one more curveball at you.

Not really.

It'll be easy.

All right, Dean, what's the one thing that you do every day that you feel makes the biggest difference in your life?

The one thing I do. Oh, God. My morning routine. Set up. Your morning has to be set up for success. This is going to be more than one thing. But the one thing is my morning routine. If I wake up and think about the day of work immediately, if I check my phone immediately, if I'm not conscious of my thoughts, I let my thoughts go in the wrong direction. I could ruin a whole day. My one thing real quick is I wake up and the first thing I do is find gratitude. I know everybody says that, but I'll read something out of a book. I'll pass, pop in headphones. I'm listening to Michael Singer's book, Not the Untethered Soul, his other one, the Surrender. Anyway, so I'll listen to even a couple minutes, and I'll go drink a green drink and I'll work out. And if I do that without turning on my phone and find gratitude I set up the day for success. So I tell everybody, get your morning routine down and set yourself up for a win.

And you know what's cool from the stuff you said? It's like, it is true. A lot of these things, like morning routine, we hear it, but you see what happens when you actually live it. Look at what your life is like, because you've put these habits into place, and you live them.

And I'll just tell everybody I have days that I screw up royally, and when I do, it's because I didn't follow my own routine.

Yep. I agree with you. I was, like, right there listening to you going, gosh, I could track my good days and bad days back down to I got up in the morning and I was naughty, and I grabbed my phone and opened my laptop, and then it just. Just. It all blows up.

It's like, yeah, exactly.

Remember?

You know, and that's why I have. It seem like a hard thing, but it's like, to me, when you're a.

Safety net, there's safety net, right?

Yep.

Yep. All right. That's so awesome. So thank you so much for joining me. It's always fantastic when I get to spend time with you. Now, for people who want more, where should they go? Dean?

They can go to deansbook.com my. My new book, Millionaire Success Habits, is just getting released right now, and I have it set up for a little while right now@deansbook.com you can get a free copy.

Awesome. So deansbook.com I mean, everyone's got to have. Why don't I have one of those yet, Dean?

Because they're being shipped.

Literally.

There's 5,000 of them coming to my office for family and friends, and some I'm giving away. So as soon as I get it, you'll get your copy.

Thank you. Because, full disclosure, as we were doing this and, you know, we've. We've gotten to spend a lot of time together, and I, like, treasure every minute of it, but I was still over there taking notes. So there you have it. I mean, I always. Every time I hear you speak, it's like, oh, my gosh. It's always just great stuff. Great treasures.

Same with you. You. At the last time I watched you on stage sharing your. Your journey and what you're doing, I was in awe. I watched every second. So love what you do.

Thank you. All right, I want to remind everyone listening to go to deansbook.com grab that book, millionaire Success Habits. And after the break, I'm Going to be answering a listener's question. So stick with me.

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Welcome back. This is the time where I answer a listener's question. And today's question comes from Kelly in Dayton, Ohio. And Kelly asks jj I feel overwhelmed as a working mom and I look at you having been in the hospital with a son and working and I just want to know what, what your secret is to getting it all done and getting all done without feeling totally overwhelmed. That's a great question. I gotta tell you, sometimes I do feel totally overwhelmed. And full disclosure, um, but you know, Dean and I were both were talking about this on the interview and it really. And then off, offline, as soon as we hung up, we're like, wow. Yeah, really? The thing that has really kept me grounded and it was the thing that kept me grounded during the time Grant was in the hospital. What I'm using right now is I'm going through some, some more really challeng with him. I use a morning routine. And again, habits really create the safety net. They you don't have to think about. So if you know in the morning you're gonna wake up, I wake up and I go grab some coffee. I have it set to go off and it's my mycotoxin free bulletproof coffee. But I wake up and get that. But then pull out your intentioning journal. And that's the big thing that I do every morning is pull it out and go, who or what am I grateful for? Boy, does that change the frame of your day. I mean, it's hard, hard to go through the day feeling like a cranky victim if you've just sat down and gone, who or what am I grateful for? I mean, the fact you woke up is something to be grateful for too, right? So that is the very first place. And then I just let it kind of just spill out into that journal. So. And come down after I'm through that to really what's my key, you know, idea for the day. So. But that's. I have a morning routine. It's the morning routine that I do. Of course I go do my shake after that. I make my all in one shake. But that's. That is my plan. And that's one of the biggest things I can tell you here is get yourself dialed in to a morning routine. It will absolutely save you. All right, if you'd like to submit a question, just go to jjvirgin.com forward/ask and you can leave a voicemail for me. I can't wait to hear from you. And one more way, I love to hear from you. I would so appreciate it if you could jump on Stitcher or itunes and leave a review for me. It helps a bunch and be sure to subscribe and share the show with your friends. This is JJ Virgin signing off and reminding you that you are worthy Dare to Live a life that matters.

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