Stay Positive with Sean Stephenson

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Hey, it's JJ Virgin. And welcome to the JJ Virgin Lifestyle show where I talk health, beauty and personal development with some of the coolest people in the world. Plus, I give you tips that you can put into fast and action to uplevel your health and your life. Now today's show is all about how to stay positive when life gets crazy, which probably is just about most of the time. And my guest today has a question that he's going to share with you that he was asked when he was in the fourth grade. That was one of his big defining moments. And as he said, it's really one of those things that you can ask yourself when things, things seem really bleak or difficult or you're struggling. So let me tell you about who I have on today. And this is one of my, literally one of my favorite people in the world. One of the, you're going to know when you hear about, if you don't know him yet, you gotta dial into his stuff. He is just phenomenal, an incredible speaker and trainer and just a sweetheart of a guy. And it is Sean Stevenson. Now Sean Stevenson is known as, as the three foot Giant because he was born with this rare bone disorder and the doctors didn't even think he was going to like, you know, survive past being born. But what this rare bone disorder does is creates super, super fragile bones. I mean he can sneeze and break his bones and it's had him in a wheelchair his whole life. But he made a decision and again, you'll hear about this decision in fourth grade that shifted everything for him. And he now is a leader for positive, you know, positive thinking and quality of life. He has literally spoken to millions of people all over the world including Serviture Branson, President Clinton and the Dalai Lama. And he has been on Oprah, he's been, his YouTube videos are like millions, millions of views. He did a, an hour feature on his life called the three Foot Giant on the Biography channel. I mean he's just everywhere. He's got a great book, get off your butt B u t watch what you're thinking. And that's been released in half a dozen languages. And he's a therapist and a great friend and a great husband to his beautiful wife Mindy, and just an amazing human being. So super excited to share Shawn Stevenson with you today. All right, let's do it. Shawn Stevenson, welcome to the show. I am sorry. So glad you're here with me today, A.J.

Thank you. I'm so excited.

You are one of my favorite speakers of all time, by the way. I don't think I told you that. Like, you just spoke at an event where I brought my 19 year old son and you owned that audience. Oh, my gosh. Like, you're just fantastic. One of the things that I love the most when you're speaking is you just have amazing, amazing stories. And for people who do not know who you are, I would love you to take us back because what I see now is this guy on stage who's super hilarious. I've got, you know, a great friend who'll do just about anything for you, all while being three foot tall in a wheelchair. People can't see that because we're talking. So, you know, I know you had a lot of struggles growing up. Let's go to, like, you know, what was kind of a defining moment for you of knowing you were going to step into something big here.

So there were two. One when I was a child and one as an adult. As a child, I had multiple fractures because I was born into a container called osteogenesis imperfecta, which is a brittle bones disorder. And, you know, by the time I was 18, I fractured over 200 times. So something as simple as sneezing would break a bone. And whenever Halloween would roll around, all the kids would get excited for the traditional reasons, the candy and the parties and such. But I loved Halloween because it was the one day of the year that I got to blend in. And jj, you know, as a tall woman, you know, sometimes it's just nice to be able to just blend into a crowd, but kind of hard, right? And on Halloween, I got to do that. And one Halloween morning, I was in fourth grade, I was rolling around out of my wheelchair on the floor, and I caught my left leg on the corner of the door. I bent it back, and I snapped it at the femur. And I realized in that moment that I was going to miss my favorite day of the year where I felt normal and I was angry. And my mom just tried to calm me down, but she finally had to ask a question that really shook me to the core. She said, is this Condition going to be a gift or a burden in your life. And I thought, she crazy. Like, how could this be a gift? Right? But what transpired next was almost supernatural. And that was. I got total clarity that the reason why I was put into this container is because I needed to teach people how to love their life amidst their pain. Because, jj, you and I both know that we all have pain. You know, like, we're all fractured. We fracture in our marriages, or we fracture in our health or in our business or raising our children. And it's not about avoiding the fractures. It's about healing and moving forward by looking for the purpose to your pain. And that was a defining moment where I realized, you know, I have a choice. I can choose to be the individual who is bitter and looks at the world as if it's unfair, or I could be the one that's inspired and looks at the world as beautiful and an opportunity to inspire people. So that was one moment, and then the other moment happened. As an adult, one of my mentors, he just kept pushing on me to answer a question. Why were you born? And finally, after about the 30th time that he asked me, I looked him right in the eye and I said, I was born to rid this world of insecurity. And the hairs on the back of his neck stood up because he realized, yes, you were. Sean, if there was anybody to be born onto this planet to teach the human race that they don't have to be insecure, that we would all listen to, it would be you.

And you know what you've done? First of all, you're one of the most inspiring people I've ever been around. Super funny, too. But I never see you any different than, like, to me, you're a giant. I know you call yourself a three foot giant, but you're just a giant. And, like, once you meet you for the first, like, 10 seconds, I don't even notice anything different anymore. And that's what's incredible, right?

Well, that's by design, jj, because the people around us see us the way we see ourselves. And so there's no accident that you don't notice the wheelchair. I forget I'm in a wheelchair on a daily basis. And sometimes I'll be in a, like, a shopping mall, and I'll come past one of those mirrored columns and I'll see this little guy in a wheelchair. I'm like, oh, who's that cute little guy in a wheelchair? And I'm like, that's you, dumbass. And then my brain has to go, oh, you're. That's right. Because I don't see myself as 3ft tall in a wheelchair. You know, my, My internal image is not that. And so because of that, I project what I see. And I also treat myself different than somebody might being 3v10 in a wheelchair. When I go into a scenario, I see myself as a strong, confident, powerful leader. And because I see that, then other people, they treat me that way.

These are, like, all the lessons that I'm putting into the miracle mindset. So I'm just sitting here wagging my head and smiling because you really do. You know, in the hospital when they were just telling us, you know, we're just trying to get him through the, the night. We're just, you know, he probably will never wake up. I'm like, he's going to be 110%. This guy's an athlete. He's going to change the world, you know? And what's interesting is you've got. I wrote it down every single day, because at first. And I just. Last night, I was doing a call with our miracle Mindset Academy group, and this girl goes, I am not worthy. And, like, you know, I, like, that's, to me, unfathomable.

Like, of course you're worthy.

And I said, I, you need. I want you to pull out your journal right now and write down I'm worthy. And she goes, I can't, because I'm not worthy. I don't believe it. I go, I don't care if you believe it. Write it down, right? And then we all got on the Facebook page and we wrote down. I said, I'm writing down why you're worthy right here. Why are you worthy? And she's like, and you'll love this, Sean. She goes, well, I may not show it, but I'm. I'm intelligent. I go, so we'll just put your intelligent right? And then once we got started, she started coming up with a bunch of them. But honestly, this. I, I, I'm not one who cries much. I tend to sweat more. But we started writing out. Everyone started popping into this group and writing down that she was worthy. And it was. It was incredible. And I said, every day, we're just, we're gonna, we're gonna do this. And I know within a week, it's just gonna become her reality. And what you've just described is such, you know, positive proof that you can create your reality. And again, I know I never see you. The only thing I ever see about you with the wheelchairs you seem to get away with a lot more.

You.

Know, so one of the other things that I'm very keen on is I think that, that we need to reframe fear. And you know, people talk about being fearless, but I don't think that life is about being fearless. I actually think we need to be courageous. And I know you're super courageous. So let's look at like, what is the most courageous thing that you've done?

Not quit on finding love. There's no social example in the media or around me of anybody that looks like me getting the girl in the end. And I had to become that for myself because there were so many opportunities in, in my dating life when I was in my 20s where I was just pretty convinced that the reason why I wasn't happily in a relationship is because who would want to be with a three foot tall man in a wheelchair? You know, they would be settling. I thought it would be, it would be like the booby prize. Like, I guess, I guess I'll love this guy. My self esteem was very challenged in the love department. And I, and I kept holding on to a vision of true love and having a partner that had my back and having a marriage like my parents have had my whole life. And I just, I accepted nothing less. And I just, you know, a lot of people don't know this, JJ, but I read over 200 books about everything from love to attraction, to everything from facial symmetry and pheromones to all the different science of what draws us to who we're sexually drawn to. Because I wanted to know. I felt like I had to crack a code. I felt like I had to figure out something that I'd never seen anybody else in my container figure out. And then of course, I did. I attracted several great relationships until finally I found the best one and got married and built a beautiful love story with her. And that took huge courage because I was rejected multiple times and millions of times by myself. I got rejected and I just kept pushing forward saying, no, I deserve love. There's nothing. Just because I'm three feet tall in a wheelchair doesn't mean I'm deficient of any great qualities.

You know, it's funny because we all get rejected.

Yeah, right.

We all get rejected. We all have to keep pushing through and. But you went out and I interviewed Ariel Ford yesterday and she described the exact same thing you described him. She had like failed relationships. It wasn't working. And so she just went out to be a student of it. Just like she'd Done with her business. Just like what you just described.

Right.

You know, and I hear. And she said people would have the self talk of all the good ones are gone. Just like your self talk was. Well, you know, I can't be in a relationship because I'm three foot tall in a wheelchair.

Yeah.

And yet now, you know, I only known you in an amazing relationship. So again, you get what you expect and perception becomes reality.

An act of courage. I think this is the distinction I'd like to make, is you don't get confident to then take an act of courage. You have to take an act of courage to then get a point in confidence. And so I was constantly scared out of my mind. I'd get one on one with a girl, and I would have to be the one that would verbalize what most men could do physically. Like, okay, I'm gonna need your help getting onto this bed or into this car with you or whatever it may be. And those moments of having to speak into existence something that I knew had a high likelihood of being shot down, that I was scared every time.

Hmm.

Wow.

That is. That is incredible. Never thought about the whole dynamics of that one. Now, what about, you're having a bad day? What do you. What do you do? Like what. What's your big turnaround technique?

Yeah. So I obsess about this question because this is where I built my whole career, is what are those techniques, strategies, you know, shortcuts to turn around the bad day. And I built them for myself first, and now I get to share them as a career with others. My best one is what I call my When Life works list. My When Life works list. And it's a series of 16 action items that are simple for me to do things like hydrate, meditate, exercise, reach out to my mentors, reach out to my apprentices, create something new, spend time with my spouse, go into nature, read a really good book, take a hot bath. You know, all these action items, they're so simple. It doesn't take any strong brain power or time to do them. But when I'm having a bad day, I look at my list of when life works, and I do four of them. That's it. Four of them in one day. And it turns around every bad day.

That is awesome. I call those mindset hacks.

Yes.

That's how I got through the hospital with Grant. I had my mindset hacks just like you described. A list of them could be music, could be reaching out to a friend, could be a hug, could be running the stairs. Like those hacks.

Yep.

Boom. That's fantastic. Okay, I've got a speed round question for you.

Yes?

All right. This is one thing, only one thing. What's the one thing that you do every day that makes the biggest difference in your life?

Journaling.

And when do you do that journaling?

Preferably in the morning. Three pages in a day. And it's just doing a mind dump. I don't judge it. I don't make it wrong or bad. I just say, what are you thinking or feeling that I need to know? And I just share it. And sometimes my journal entries are dark and depressing, and sometimes they're inspiring, but they just come out of me. And I honestly believe that your journal is the cheapest, most effective therapy on the planet.

Amen. That is my. I tell people that in. In the weight loss health world, it is the number one predictor of success. People who write things down have twice the, you know, the weight loss results of the people who don't. It's one I've been doing along with my shakes every single day for, like, I don't know, 30 years. So I'm right there with you. And in the same way, that brain dump of just, like, get, like, just let it out.

Well, it's also a time machine because I can go through my journal entries and see where I've been. And it's amazing because I'm like, wow, I felt that way. I don't even resemble that man now. And it shows you your progress. It's also shows you where you're slipping. Like, wow, okay, I'm nowhere near where I was a year ago in my mindset. What's different? And it gives you the ability to travel through time and see how to make course corrections.

I absolutely love everything you're doing. And again, I've had the opportunity to hear you speak now a number of times, and I didn't hear you speak before I got to know you. And it's always interesting when you go, oh, my gosh, like, I had no idea you were just. You are one of the best speakers I've ever seen, hands down. And when I say that, it's not just because you're entertaining and funny, it's because you leave a mark, right? You know, you make a difference. You walk out of there like the Halloween story, and those stories are so specific, and you think, well, how could something that happened to a three foot guy in a wheelchair you know, make a difference in my life? But, you know, those specific stories have such universal lessons that are so big and amazing. And I know people are going to want more from you, Sean. So where should they go to learn more and start up a relationship?

Yeah, absolutely. So I point everybody the same place and that is if you love listening to me now, then let's continue the journey. Go to Stay Positive club. That's Stay Positive that club. And that is the beginning of a journey. It's a ebook that I created that a person could read in one sitting. There's an audiobook there, there's a bunch of videos, and it just takes you on the journey.

Well, I can't think of a better person to go on the positive journey with. You are one of my top inspirations and I absolutely love and adore you. So thank you so much for being on the show today. Now, after the break, I'll be answering a listener's question, so stay with me.

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This is the time where I answer a listener's question. And today's question came from a post on Facebook after I did a Facebook live. And it is from Sarah in Dayton, Ohio. And she said, jj, how do you stay strong when everyone and everything around you seems to be kind of falling apart and pulling you down? So I have, you know, Sean talked about his, his list that he keeps with him. I actually do two things and I always find that success leaves clues. I do things very similar to him where I get up every morning and this is what I did when Grant was in the hospital and things looked so bleak is I got up every morning, I just did a brain dump. I focused first on what I was in gratitude for and then I just. My big goal for Grant, he was going to be 110%. And then I just brain dumped. And then I had these hacks that I use throughout the day. Could be running the stairs, it's music, it's a hug, calling a friend, all these different things. I just have a list of them. So whatever I need to do, tapping, laughing, funny video, I've got those at the ready, too. And that makes a big difference. But the biggest difference of all, and I got this from your question, is really managing your environment. And early on, when I was in my 20s, I had an amazing mentor and she helped me really dial in my environment. Because if you look around we are being bombarded with negative news. Gosh, now more than ever and we are oftentimes surrounding ourselves with people who may not be supporting us to be our best self. Not knowing it, not like trying to undermine you, but that just if they're not in a positive happy place, guess what? So I made a commitment to surround myself with an amazing group of like minded peers who would help me, you know, be my best self and support me to do that and to surround myself with positive influences in what I read, what I listened to and everything else. And that can help you just not get into that place because the minute you start to feel em, we all get down, we all get scared, we all get frustrated. Shoot, I'm scared every day. But those are my tools that I use to keep me staying forward, staying positive and living courageously. So now if you'd like to submit a question, just go to jjvirgin.com ask and you can leave a voicemail for me. I can't wait to hear from you. And one more way, I'd love to hear from you. I would hugely appreciate it if you could jump on Stitcher or itunes and leave a review for me. It helps a bunch of and be sure to subscribe and share the show with your friends. This is JJ Virgin signing off and reminding you to live courageously. Show up, step up. You are stronger than you think.

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