What Do I Do About Having No Sex Drive?

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What Do I do about having no Sex Drive?

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This is JJ Virgin, four time New York Times bestselling author, celebrity nutrition expert, and fitness hall of famer. I've been on a lifelong quest for answers to the toughest health questions, and now I'm sharing what I found with you. Welcome to Ask the Health Expert. Jessica from Facebook asks, what do I do about having no sex drive? I'm 50 and I don't care if I ever have sex again. Well, I've got Dr. Kiran Dunson with me to answer this question. She's perfect for it. She's an OB GYN and a functional medicine expert, and she's used her expertise on herself to lose £100 and keep it off. And she's healed herself from chronic disease. Now she helps tens of thousands of women lose weight, regain their energy, and master midlife through her Stop the Menopause Madness summit and her brilliant Health revolution podcast and YouTube channel. And when she's not helping women take control of their health, she's out singing. She's a singer with the Savannah Philharmonic Chorus and she'll be right back to answer this question.

Hey, it's J.J. here.

Now, let's be honest.

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I hear this statement from women all the time and I used to feel that way myself. So it's very common and it's therefore, quote, unquote normal, but it's not optimal. And there's a difference. Just because everybody's having it doesn't mean it's okay. And it's not okay because we're wired for sexual activity. And sexual activity actually nourishes us in ways that other activities won't. It actually helps to balance our hormones, decrease our stress hormones, increase our blood flow. And it has so many benefits for us. And it's. It helps to nourish our relationships and our feeling of connection to others in the world. So our sex is something really to be cherished and fostered and preserved. And why is it so common, though? So let's talk about that. And, and we talked earlier about the whole iceberg metaphor, that what you see above the surface of the water is your sex hormones. So that is the obvious culprit for the lack of sex drive at menopause. It's the fact that you may have low levels of estrogen, progesterone and or testosterone, all of which are necessary for a healthy sex drive. So that's the obvious answer. But I have seen plenty of women who have gone to various doctors and gotten on bioidentical hormones and they said, Dr. Kieran, I still don't have a great sex drive. So you've got to go below the surface of the water and again, look at the rest of that ginormous ice ball. And see what else is contributing. And the biggest culprit that I find killing sex drive in menopause is cortisol. And that is because your sex hormones are necessary and not sufficient for. For a healthy and normal sex drive. So what do I mean by that? Your. You want to have a great sex drive because we've uncoupled sex from reproduction, but your body doesn't see it that way. Your body says, I only want you to have a good sex drive when you're going to reproduce and make a healthy baby and you're going to be around for 18 years to care for it till it can take care of itself and survive. So your body will actually cut off your sex drive when you're not optimally healthy. And what does it use as its barometer? Your cortisol, your stress hormone. I call it queen cortisol because it really is the main determinant of your overall health status. It determines your sleep, wake cycle, your energy level, your weight and your immune system function, whether you get sick or not, whether you get cancer or not, and, yep, whether you have a sex drive or not. So if your cortisol is struggling, and we talked earlier about how if you are having menopausal symptoms, it might not only be your sex hormones. You got to look below the surface at the iceberg under the water, and that could be cortisol and other problems that you're having. It's the same with your sex drive. So your cortisol being abnormal will kill your sex drive in a heartbeat. So you've really got to address that. And I find that once you really address the cortisol issues, you fix what's stressing out your cortisol. And that's a topic unto itself. And you balance out the sex hormones that women in their 50s and beyond can have wonderful sex drive and really a healthy sex life that helps to nourish them physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. And the other thing I would say is that no sex drive is really important to pay attention to. Speaking of that language of the body that you're now listening to. And what is your body saying? Because your body is either in build up and healing mode and thriving mode, or it's in breakdown, deterioration mode. There is no in between. It's kind of like a seesaw. It's either down on the one side or down on the other side. There's no in between. And you want that balance to be really optimal where you're more in the healing mode. And so that's why you really want to pay attention to the low sex drive because it's a sign that your body's in breakdown mode. So I say, don't ignore this. I do see some women who say, oh yeah, well, I'm in my 50s, I've been married for 30 years, my husband's sex drive is low, so it's not really an issue. Yeah, it is an issue. It's really your body speaking to you and saying, I don't have the vitality to want to be sexual. And that's a red flag. So it's something that you really want to pay attention to. Thanks so much for this great question.

This is JJ with Ask the Health Expert. I do this five times a week, so make sure you never miss a show by going to subscribe. Subscribe to JJ.com.

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