What To Do When You’re Ready To Give Up

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Hey it's JJ Virgin and welcome to the JJ Virgin Lifestyle show where I talk nutrition, exercise, mindset and lifestyle with some of the coolest people in the world. And I give you tips that you can put into fast to up level your health so that you can go out there and live that big life you're meant to live. Now today's show is all about what it takes to heal when you're sick. You've gone everywhere and no one can figure out what the heck is wrong with you. And I am so excited to share this expert with you because you're going to hear a lot about what she's seen, miracles that she's seen with her patients. And a lot of it goes back to my story with my son Grant, who was the victim of a hit and run left for dead in the street and has now come back. And it's just amazing. And so you're going to hear about the missing ingredient that can change everything in your healing journey. And it's something that we can all do. So let me tell you a little bit about our guest. It's Dr. Shiroko Sokich. She is a doctor who is both a medical doctor and a Chinese medicine doctor, which gives her a super cool perspective. She's been in the integrative medicine field for over 20 years. She's hosted public access TV shows. The show is called Perspectives on Healing and she's worked as an ER doc and she's also got a couple books out there. She's got a very interesting approach because she's got a lot of different modalities that she works with including acupuncture and balancing, bioidentical hormones and brain, chemical balancing and functional medicine testing and Chinese herbal medicine. She uses all of that to bring you back into balance. So I am going to jump right into this because again, I am excited to share bits of Grant's story. If you haven't heard the story of my son who at 16 was left for dead in the street. And then, literally, we brought him back and the doctors saved his life. But then the real healing journey began to bring him back to 110%. So we're going to share what the missing ingredient there was, and also what Dr. Scroko has seen time and time again with her patients that's led them from being someone who's chronically sick with no answers to. To being better than ever. Alrighty, let's do it. Dr. Shiroko, welcome to the show. I am so excited to have you on the show today.

I'm so excited to be with you.

Thank you. What you're going to share is going to blow people away a bit, because I know there's a lot of people out there just kind of at the point where they're just. They're sick, they don't know what's wrong with them. They don't know what to do about it. They've gone to see doctors and you just kind of get to that give up point, you know, where they're just like, I guess this is just gonna be my life. Yeah. So I know you have a very different perspective on it, and especially being such an interesting combination of being a medical doctor and a doctor of Chinese medicine. So what I'd love to jump into is how the heck did you even get your start? Like, what made you interested in this in the beginning?

Well, many long stories. But originally I became interested in being a doctor when I was five because grandmother collapsed in front of me, and she was my best friend in my life. And so she was the person who I've spent my time with. And my mom was a busy single mom, so she wasn't home. And so she was that person who nurtured me. And one night she just collapsed right in front of me. And it was so devastating, and I didn't know what to do. And of course, I'm five. So I went and got people to help me. And we took her, or she got taken to the hospital. And about a week later, my mom came up to me and told me that she was never coming home and that she was dead. And I didn't know what that meant. So my mom said, well, it means that her heart stopped beating. And in that moment, I was devastated. I was in so much pain. I didn't know what it meant, but I knew I would never see her again. But I didn't even know what never meant. So I started trying to imagine what it would take to make her heart start beating again. Imagined Some kind of machine to make her heartbeat. Knowing that I'm not a doctor then, and I didn't know any doctors. But what started for me in that moment was this belief that there had to be something, that there had to be an answer. And so, through my training as a doctor and through my experiences with my own physical health, I would never give up. And originally, I went into surgery because in surgery was the first time I got to save a life. And I thought that was what it was all about. And slowly, in the course of being a surgical resident, I realized that I wasn't doing what really saved lives. I was. You know, I was taking people from death's door. But then they still had problems, and they still had unexplained issues, and sometimes the surgeries didn't work, and I just began to be frustrated and looking for other answers.

I love hearing what I'm hearing here, because there's a couple key points that came out that I really want to dry out is, number one, the questions you were asking. Because in life, you get what you expect, and it's all about asking the right questions. So you were asking the right questions. And I also love that you realize. And I saw this with my own son when we flew him to ucla, and a doctor there saved his life. Yes, he saved his life. But then the healing really began. And that's what you just stated was, it's like, okay, someone can save your life. They can fix a torn aorta. They can. They can. Whatever those things are. But then. Then the heavy lifting really starts. Yeah. You know, and that's what I think people don't. Don't realize. So tell me about you. You've got a medical. You know, your medical doctor, and you've got Chinese medicine. So how did you go about bringing both of those? Like, why did you do that? And then how did you go about bringing those both together?

Well, I guess I did it because I fell in love with Chinese medicine. And I was having my first midlife crisis in the second year of my surgical residency, feeling that frustration of not helping people in the way that I wanted to, and I didn't know quite what to do. So I took a month off of my residency, and I. I, at the time, didn't intend to leave my residency. But then some things happened that led me to realize that I just wasn't going to be satisfied with being a surgeon. So I found a book that was called the Web that Has no Weaver, and it was about Chinese medicine. Somebody had suggested it to me, and When I started reading it, I literally fell in love. And I've been in love with Chinese medicine ever since. And there are many reasons, but part of it is because in Western medicine, we put everything in little boxes and they're all separate from one another. And in Chinese medicine, everything's connected, and it's all about energy and about flow and about making things come together and looking at the big picture. And what I began to see really quickly was that it covered the areas where you didn't understand what was going on with the person. From our Western point of view, you could use Chinese medicine and you could understand what was out of balance and start to help them get in balance, regardless of whether you had the diagnosis.

So I'd love to break into that, because I know that we've talked offline about a different way that you look at things and someone comes into your practice, you know, and it's very different than, say, a traditional medical doctor with how you do this. Someone walks in and I think, you know, I know you get a lot of people who've tried everything, gone to different places, and they're just sick and struggling. And what's your perspective? How do you look at that person coming in? What are you doing differently there?

Well, I start with Chinese medicine as the basic. And again, how the organs work in Chinese medicine is different than how they work in Western medicine, and it's a bigger picture. So it involves emotions and spiritual connections and many physical functions that aren't the same. For example, the liver in Chinese medicine rules the smooth movement of energy throughout your whole body, and it regulates your menstrual cycles, and it regulates your ligaments and tendons. And so a person could have a tight neck and shoulders, and that could be a liver imbalance. And that might not be something we would think of in Western medicine. They might have symptoms of fibromyalgia. And so there's just different ways of looking at things. And then it allows me to see my patients from a new angle that maybe nobody's ever seen.

And then you take it a step further. Yes. And if that weren't enough, and I got this first clue of this when I looked at your website, hearttoheartmedicalcenter.com because I was like, heart to heart, huh? You know, And I know you as a person, and you just emanate this. You talk about love and healing, which I know is not something we ever talk about. Right, right. And I do believe that when people ask me, like, what really saved my son? I said, you know, that we had so much healing, love, energy. Like, I was there, we were there, we were holding him, telling him we loved him. You know, this is not the thing we talk about, so let's talk about it. What is that role of love and healing?

Everything, really, if you come down to it. If you. So love has everything to do with everything. Of course. And a lot of times we think about love as a relationship with person, which is really important, just like it saved your son's life. And I fully believe that. That your presence at his bedside was a major factor in him coming back. And in my business, why I call it Heart to Heart Medical center is because I bring my heart to the process and my patients. I connect with my patient's heart, but I also try to get them to connect with their hearts. So, for example, yesterday I had a new patient who was having trouble with his marri, and he had a major heart attack last year, and he had a triple bypass. And, you know, since the triple bypass, he's been devastated. He was always really healthy. Before that, he was an athlete. There was no reason for him to have a heart attack. So this was a big blow to him. But the thing that was affecting him the most at the moment was his relationship with his wife. And so I asked him to start being really, really loving with his wife and to start reaching out to her in a different way, you know, not to try to be angry at her and to drop his ego in relation to her so that he could begin to heal on that deeper level. Of course, we're going to do things to help his hormones and to help his immune system get into balance and, you know, to help him get back to the strength that he once had. But the other most important thing was the whole connection that he had with his wife and with his own body. Now that it was a new body.

Well, how open was he to that? I mean, again, you don't walk into the doctor and have him say, okay, now here's what I want you to do.

You know, and I'm sometimes reluctant to start that conversation in the first visit, but I really trust whatever my intuition tells me. I've been doing this for 23 years now. And he looked at me a little funny, I have to admit. But I knew it was important and I took the risk. And I hope he's going on a vacation with her. I hope that he is going to be able to use that information to feel better over the course of his vacation.

I would love. And again, I look at this and you mentioned It. And I think you've heard this story. My son, when he was in the ICU in a coma, and after he'd had his aorta repaired, and he was on a pressure monitor for his brain, for the brain swelling, and he had had his femurs, his thigh bones were broken, and he was bleeding out from that, and those were repaired. But at that point, I was there talking to him all the time, and his dad was there, and his brother was in, and he said to me, he goes, you know, mom, I didn't want to live. The Gray man came down and asked me if I wanted to live or die. Now, I've always been fascinated by this whole journey. And is there this other place that you go to? And so I'm listening to all this. I'm like, ooh, he's never read any this stuff that I've read about, you know, the tunnels and all that. And he said, mom, the Rain man asked me, and I did not want to live. But I kept hearing your voice. I kept hearing you guys. And we would go in, and we could lower his blood pressure by touching him, by telling him we loved him. It is so powerful and so strong. And it was so clear that that was, you know, he had a decision to make, and the love pulled him back. That, you know, I just want to underscore this, and I think it's so interesting. Here's someone who had this, you know, heart attack, who was suffering. His heart was suffering so much, and who knows what it would have happened if you'd found him two years prior, so that this never would have had to go through this. So someone listening, hearing all this. What are some. You know, because again, I think for so many people, they're suffering with something they've tried to do. They've tried so hard to do it, whether it's weight loss or high cholesterol or high blood pressure or headaches or chronic fatigue, and they're just not getting better, even though they've gone to different doctors. What are some healing tips that you can throw out to them that they could use?

Well, one is really that there's hope and to never give up. I think the most important thing is sometimes it feels like you're walking in the darkest night. And one of the things that people go through dark journeys and have experiences in relation to events or other people, but hardly ever think of their own body is their own hero's journey. And to kind of remember that this journey that they're on is a journey. There's nothing that's wasted. So no matter who you see, no matter what you've already done, it's not wasted. It's a part of the path. That's the first thing. And then to not give up, to keep looking until you find the right people to help you. And then there are certain things that you can begin to look at, and that is there's certain pillars to being healthy. You know, there's the healthy diet, finding the right diet, and really starting to try to listen to your own body, because your body's talking to you when you don't feel well. And what you want to do is you want to start figuring out what is the right thing that is going to work for you. And so slowly, slowly, you strip it down to the minimum and you begin to ask the questions, you know, like, what kind of foods work for you? What kind of exercise works? If you can't exercise at all, you know, can you just move your hands and feet a little bit? You know, just begin that process to try to find the right things that are going to help you feel better. And then the last is to recognize that your. That love and that your journey has something to do with going forward in your life on some level. You know, a lot of people tell me that they want to be who they used to be before they got sick. And what I think is that you want to be who you are becoming. Because becoming sick is a part of a healing path that takes you to a whole new place. And instead of thinking, I want to go back to who I was, think I want to go forward to who I'm now going to be. Because just like your son, he's not the same person. He's a total miracle. Right?

And that what you just said is one of the most powerful things ever. And it reminds me with the book that I'm writing right now around what I learned going through this with my son, is these are mindsets that you're teaching here, and they are all the difference. Asking the right questions, expecting great things, realizing that we're never better than when we're challenged, we're going to come out of this at a better place, are so powerful. It takes someone from being a victim to a victor. So this is huge and never talked about. And I just so appreciate you being there, bringing this into your practice and then bringing this out to the world, because this can change medicine. It can change everything. So, wow. I love you. You're so good. You're so good, Chiroko. So I wanna remind everybody there's a heart to heart and it's not it's t o not number2heart2heartmedicalcenter.com to get more information as you can see whether you're wherever you are in your life. These are tips that if you integrate in can have a massive impact on how you move forward in a very positive victor way. So thank you Shiroko for joining me and sharing your story with us and all the listeners. And after the break, I'm going to be answering a listener's questions. So stick with me.

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Welcome back. This is the time where I answer a listener's question. And today's question comes from Julie.

For the last five or six years I've been trying what started out to be £10 to take off has turned into a good £20. I feel good when I'm between 130, 134 post menopausal for about a year and a half. I've tried all kinds of things to lose weight, but it doesn't seem to come off quickly or quickly enough and I get discouraged and stop. I exercise about three or four times a week. I used to be quite thin, almost too thin. And when I get into any kind of restriction diet I get, I think something kicks into, I might be getting nervous. I'm getting into, you know, that kind of food disorder I had when I was quite young. So it was, I mean it was never diagnosed but I am sure it was a form of anorexia or I would not eat or I would convince myself. The feel of the food in my mouth was horrible and nauseating and wouldn't want to chew it and would end up spitting it out. So anytime I get close to any kind of restriction, I back away and proof to myself, I guess that I can eat anything I want. This summer I couldn't wear any of my summer clothes. I don't want to buy any new clothes until I lose the weight and it just seems to go on and on and on anyway, so anything you can throw my way would be really helpful.

All right, so, Julie, a lot of stuff going on here. So I want to focus on a couple things here because my area, my real passion is what I call weight loss resistance. It's all those things that get in the way of you losing weight or even cause you to gain weight. And of course, menopause is one of those times. And one of the things that happens during menopause is our body becomes better at storing fat. It's the only hormone that tends to go up during this time is cortisol, not when we want to go up. And when cortisol goes up, that can tell the body store more fat, especially around the belly. It can make you more insulin resistant, which makes it harder to burn off fat. And it can also lower your thyroid function, which can also slow down your metabolism. So a couple things I would just have you do is work with a functional doctor and have them look at your fasting insulin and glucose and hemoglobin A to look for any sign of insulin resistance. Have them look at your at a hormone panel, estrogen, progesterone and testosterone to optimize those levels. And then also have them look at your adrenals to look at how you are doing with your cortisol levels. So those are a couple things because if those hormones aren't working well, the message can be telling your body, store fat, fat especially on the waist, and it can be impossible or extremely difficult, as you're experiencing, to lose weight. Now, along with that though, I want to make sure that you're doing what you need to do on the basics. So either pick the virgin diet or the sugar impact diet to begin with and start there. Remember the first with both of those diets, during the prep phase of the virgin diet and during the the first part of the sugar impact diet, both of these look at adding and swapping rather than restricting. So yes, we're pulling things out, but really we're replacing them with other things and we're adding things in. So I want you to focus on adding before you take away. And I also want you to focus on swaps so that you don't get into this, this restrictive mindset that's gotten you in trouble before. Because again, this whole idea of deprivation and restriction I think doesn't help anybody. It makes me naughty and mischievous. I know. So that's the next thing. But I also want you to look at your exercise because one of the things that Happens as we age is we start to lose muscle and we lower our growth hormone. So I want you to look at burst style training and I talk about this a lot on my website. So if you go to JJvirgin.com, you will find resources that describe how to do burst style training because burst style training is a form of interval cardio training that can help boost growth hormone. And I also want you to look at resistance style training because the, the swimming that you're doing now can actually make your body better at storing fat. Swimmers tend to have higher body fat than other athletes anyway, but you're also doing it for an hour. So unless you're doing real burst style training there, if you're doing steady state, that actually can aid you and make you better at storing fat and cause some muscle loss and can create more stress. I want you to look at interval style cardio training or burst style training and some resistance training because we need you to hold onto our build muscle as we age. If we don't use it, we lose it. And so if we're not actively building muscle, we're losing muscle. Really is the way it's. I call it our metabolic Spanx. It holds everything in tighter and boosts your metabolism, but it is one of the biggest ways that you can directly impact your metabolism fast. Okay, so you're going to go look at, have your thyroid checked, your adrenals looked at, your insulin looked at, your sex hormones looked at like all those. But right away, what you can do immediately is get that exercise shifted over and work through one of the programs, Sugar Impact Diet or the Virgin Diet. Start with one thing. Start with one of the two diets first. Get that dialed in and then do the exercise switch over. Get an appointment with a functional medicine doctor while you're at it to have a complete hormone workup as well and then report back in because I want to hear the success story. Now if you'd like to submit a question, just go to jjvirgin.com ask and you can leave a voicemail for me. I can't wait to hear from you. And by the way, one more way, I'd love to hear from you. I would hugely appreciate it if you could jump on Stitcher or itunes and.

Leave a review for me.

It helps a bunch. And be sure to subscribe and share the show with your friends. This is JJ Virgin signing off and reminding you that you are worthy. Dare to live a life that matters.

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