E.L.F. versus H.A.L.F.: A Fireside Chat with Chris Voss and Joe Polish

And it's invisible. This is death by a thousand cuts. So we implemented this in our company early on. Our director of business development, a young lady named Davy Johnson, who's brilliant, she's just so much fun to learn to work with. And she learns fast. For her mistakes are learning accelerators. She loves making mistakes. Some people are horrified by it. She loves it. She gets smarter faster by screwing up. So I started telling her about the half elf thing. Said, this is. This is what it is. Let's start to look for it and let's develop our own profiles. What do they say? So we know right off the bat that we will turn and walk away. So we began. We've implemented this with a tremendous amount of success. And then I just recently asked her, I said, so what's it costing us? Because you guys got to know what it's actually literally costing you. I'm working on a book on real estate now. And the guy that I'm working on the book, it's his opinion that a half costs you two elves. Every bad customer is costing you business with at least two good customers. Start to think about how that's picking your pocket.

Have you ever had to fire a client or a customer not only because they were a poor fit for what you offer, but they drove you crazy? Wouldn't it be great if you had a way to quickly tell whether they were going to be what it was going to be like working with them? Maybe you've tried using some of the tests out there, such as Mars, Briggs, Disc, Colby, or maybe you've even thought of looking for a psychic. How many of you have made employment decisions with a psychic? Anyone? Come on, don't lie. I know quite a few of you have. But seriously, what if there was a genius network member tool that you could use that you already have and it would cost you nothing to. To be able to vet a potential client that could be a game changer for you.

Right?

That's exactly what Chris Voss has done. Chris is the CEO and founder of the Black Swan Group and a negotiation expert. Chris is a top former international FBI hostage negotiator and the author of the best selling book Never Split the Difference. How many of you have read this? On its way to selling 3 million copies right now. Okay. That's why I've invited him on stage to have a fireside chat with me and you and on how you can identify potential clients that will be a great fit for you and identify those you need to run from. Since you even before you start working with Them. Chris, my first question for you is, since this tool we all have and know about has just seven words, can you tell us what those seven words are and how you created a new use for them now? So please welcome Chris Voss. So let's go to. You know, I will just say that we had a conversation where we were just on the phone catching up, and you were telling me about how we were using ELF versus Half. And I was so fascinated by what you said. I was like, we have got to share this with all the genius network members. This particular insight and awareness and skill and technique and listening that you have has been very valuable. So that's why I've got. Yeah, that's what I want to talk to you about. So I'll let you take it from there.

Yeah, well, I mean, when I first heard about it from you, it just made sense. This is a really liberating idea, and it's a little bit harder to embrace early on when you're hungry for clients, customers that there are a lot of people that you should just not take in, you should not talk to at all, period, ever. And maybe one of the key liberating moments for me was, you know, we were going to run one of those Facebook lookalike audiences things to target marketing. And, you know, Facebook is, you know, they got these insidious algorithms. You might as well take advantage of them. Right. Not just the bad guys. And they came back and they basically said, you know, there's 2 million people that fit your perfect client profile in the US and I'm like, 2 million. Like, we're going to walk away from the vast majority of people out there, and there's still 2 million people that we got to get to and we got to serve. And so, you know, we really began to accelerate along those lines, just, you know, adopting. Embracing the idea that, you know, that you planted. Planted in us.

Yeah.

And so. And what he's referring to is at ELF versus Half, we'll get.

We'll get into that. I got. I got some slides. I get.

Because Weird FBI on me here. No, I'm kidding.

Okay, so we'll get once. Well, I want to. I want to run a couple. And I want to talk. Yep. And so if you guys have put my PowerPoint up, this first one is really an advertisement, but it's not really an advertisement for me. Is that thing ready?

Yes, I think it's. And there you go. You can see it up front here on the monitor up front there. See, we're just going to have you Negotiate with the. The technology right now. Hey, guys.

The victim, the victim's family, and with the H. Everybody really deserves to have somebody hear what they have to say. So that's not a bad video, right? I got that directly as a result of being a member of Genius Network. We talk about the benefits of being part of Genius Network and the stuff that ends up just kind of coming your way, falling out of the sky or that the universe attracts because of the people that are involved in Genius Network. And we were at a meeting, and somebody came on, and they call it the perfect intro video. We could do this perfect intro for your business. And they knew I was going to be at the meeting, and they made it for me and gave it to me. And so, I mean, there's so many additional fringe benefits from the kind of people that are attracted to what you've built. And I just want to bring that as an example, and I wanted to thank you for it.

Thank you. Thank you.

So to get into the elf half thing, and also, you know, I wanted to welcome you back. I had to put that in, you know, and I knew I was going to be late. I apologize for that. But first of all, it's not. It's not a sin to not get the deal. It's a sin to take a long time to not get the deal. Because every one of you as an entrepreneur, your most valuable commodity that's engaged in every single negotiation you're engaged in is what time. And this is why this stuff kills you. Now, it's not only a sin to take a long time to not get the deal, it's a sin to take a long time to get a bad deal. And in my company, we've always said, no deal is better than a bad deal. And we learned that the hard way, because we had a deal in 2009, 2010, that was lucrative. The L and half could be lucrative, but it was blood money. And for a long time, we didn't think we were going to get paid. Almost a year's worth of work, a lot of money that I promised people. It just went really bad. It turned into blood money. My opinion of lawyers deteriorated as we went through it, until I finally found a lawyer who knew what they were talking about. By the way, if you get a dispute between states, if you're in one state, another one, the other person, if they're cheating you, is in another state, Find a lawyer that's comfortable with being in the Northern District Federal Court, Northern District of Virginia. The Northern District of Virginia is affectionately Known as the rocket docket. Any other side who's trying to basically bury you with motions and legal fees, if they're wrong, as soon as they get to the rocket docket, they settle with you right away. Or as soon as they find out where they are, they settle. And I went back and forth with lawyers that kept telling me there was nothing you could do. And we finally came across a female attorney, and she said, the rocket docket is where you want to be. And we settled quickly. So, just as a side note, great place to be, but it took us a long time. It was a bad deal. It was blood money. It was a lot of money, and it was blood money. And then that was before I learned what you're talking about, and so now it just makes sense. So it's a sin to take a long time to get a bad deal. All right, so else easy, lucrative, fun, Bing. And all right, so we got little pictures for each one because I figured hard, annoying, lame, and frustrating. What does this look like? And these are types. These are types that you will see and you will start to look out for. And again, the lame, the lucrative, lucrative is still blood money. Just because there's a lot of money there. That's one of the things that's going to make you vulnerable to this, to this whole concept. And then finally, frustrating. Now, I. And I learned about this concept called the drama triangle way back when I was on a suicide hotline. If you've been in crisis intervention or therapy, dysfunctional behavior and dysfunctional relationships, you probably come across a drama triangle at some point in time. And so since there were some f words already used earlier, I'll go ahead and go with them because they're great adjectives for people that are making a point of fucking with you and soaking up your time and sucking the life out of you. And if they're call it suicide hotlines, then they're also business people, and they're also the people that you interact with. And they told us there are basically three types. The rescuer, the persecutor, and the victim. And then they play one role. And as soon as they suck you into a role, you know, like, I need your help. You know, if they're being victimized, you know, I'm really in a jam. You got to help me figure this out. And you offer some suggestions, which we would do in a hotline, then they'd attack you for those suggestions they become. Immediately, they'd switch from one position to the triangle and another, keeping you off balance. And as I Was knocking out the profiles for the halfs. I'm like, this is a drama triangle. This is exactly what this is. Because these people are gonna. They're gonna run this game on you. Some of them can. Can't help it. Some of them because they can. You know, I went to somebody, somebody was cheating me, and I had a friend said, he didn't cheat you because he could. He cheated you because he couldn't help himself. So what their motivations are doesn't matter, but it's still happening and it's still keeping you off guard. So in our halfs, you know, this is. I took Joe's. I thought Joe's acronym was dead on. He's got a great gut instinct for human behavior. Might you get sucked into it? And, you know, my company, we think about the different kind of emotions because we want to diagnose what's going on. Like if I'm getting frustrated. If you're getting frustrated, the negative behavior. Frustration is about the future. You get frustrated over something that you envision was going to happen in the future, and you're having trouble getting there. So if you feel frustration and you're not sure what's going on, it's very much about someone or something is denying you access to something, something in the future. That's what frustration is about. Annoying is about something that has happened. As you begin to isolate where this is coming from and interpret your gut instinct, and then you can trace it down a little bit more. But very much like the drama triangle, they're going to move around on you when they call you on the phone or they try to engage with you for whatever it is. So it's not just one type of behavior. It's different types of behavior that bounce around and it's invisible. This is death by a thousand cuts. So we implemented this in our company early on. Our director of business development, a young lady named Davy Johnson, who's brilliant, she's just so much fun to learn, to work with. And she learns fast, for her mistakes are learning accelerators. She loves making mistakes. Some people are horrified by it. She loves it. She gets smarter faster by screwing up. So I started telling her about the half elf thing. Said, this is what it is. Let's start to look for it and let's develop our own profiles. What do they say? So we know right off the bat that we will turn and walk away. So we've implemented this with a tremendous amount of success. And then I just recently asked her, I said, so what's it costing us?

Hey, I hope you're enjoying this video and I want to let you know that I have a new book that's come out and if you'd like to get it absolutely free, there's a link below in the description. Or you can wait till the end of this video or you can simply go to Joe's freebook.com and you can get a copy there.

Because you got to, you guys got to know what it's actually literally costing you. I'm working on a book on real estate now, and the guy that I'm working on the book, it's his opinion that a half costs you two elves. Every bad customer is costing you business with at least two good customers. Start to think about how that's picking your pocket. So then I ran up past Davey. I said, what do you think the costs are of halves versus elves? And she said, there are at least two, if not three. Now think about what you make in an hour or you're making a gig. Like when I got out of the FBI, you know, some guys used to brag like, I don't work for less than $1,000 a day. And one of my friends pointed out to me about the person that said this, he said, first of all, when he gets $1,000 a day gig, it costs him three days. So he's really working for $300 a day. And then it costs him two months to get that gig. So he ain't working for $1,000 a day, he's working for $1,000 for every three months. But people tell them this stuff in their head, like, would you take a million dollar gig? Well, what if it took you two years to get your million dollars? You didn't make $2 million, you made a lot less. So this is what they cost you. And that's just in delivery. And she said, I think they actually cost us a lot more in preparation. Probably five. The amount of time your most valuable commodity spent on one half, you could have served five ELFs. And then finally, since she keeps track of that, she says n or half are not repeaters. The elfs are the repeaters for a whole variety of reasons. So ideally it just begins to catch you. Ideally, you're beginning to see how just self destructive it is to not start learning the difference and walking away. And our biggest problem, and my company's biggest problem right now, having adopting this meeting the demand, intentionally walking away from more and more people, our biggest problem is meeting the demand of the elves. You're going to have the same problem because you're going to discover them. And you hear it echoed, you've heard it echoed with the different people. You've heard talk about being successful in business. I got successful as soon as I stop saying yes to a lot of stuff, started saying no to more. These are people that, their gut instincts, whether they realize it or not, say no to the haves, the more people they said no to and then I'm real. And if you think about it, these are the people, their gut instinct is developing more and more. And there's a line that I'm going to throw out that I learned from Dan Sullivan because you know Dan, he's got a line that we're going to share in a second in behavior that as soon as it comes out of somebody's mouth, they run the other direction. Just not interested in them. And so we're going to get into that. And those are on your tools. But is there anything. I've been talking the whole time, Anything you want to add?

No, I'm just really loving this because it is just seeing the concept of ELF versus half. And in Genius network meetings we do the tool where people list who are the people, the projects, the things that they're doing that are ELF and which ones are half so they can, you know, eliminate more half from their life and have more elf. But the depth that you've gone into this and then identifying phrases which you're going to share and stuff is incredibly valuable. So to me this is validation and acknowledgement of stuff. And then this is what real collaboration is, where you take an idea and a concept and you give it to someone else who's very smart and in their particular area and they're able to use it. So to me, I'm just sitting there going, I love this. I, I mean I really do. I don't know if it was the what organization that Dan told you mentioned this years ago, Dan, where something like 80% of customers in some businesses are not profitable and they are supported by the 20% that are because the pain in the ass people. You know, if you want to take the 80, 20 rule. And of course there's, there's nuances and variations. But the fact of the matter is, as you're saying this, I'm sitting there thinking who are the ELF Genius network members? Who are the ones that have been the half and the amount, you know, that whole squeaky wheel gets the oil sort of line? Well, Peter Diamandis has the flip side of that, which is the squeaky oil gets replaced, right? Not the squeaky wheel gets the oil. And there are a lot of clients. You know, that whole rule of the customer's always right. Dan's talk is bull, because if you think the customer is always right, you never get any sleep. You never have any free time. You know, the customer is not king. It says that, you know, the customer is king. Well, no, they're not. The customer is a partnership. And I even my very first marketing course, it was clients, not customers, because customer implies someone that buys something from you. Client implies someone you have a relationship with. So this really represents to me about how to develop relationships, not just people that want something or they want to, you know, want the best price. They're skeptical and all that. So I. I'm just commenting. It's great. So I appreciate it.

And some of this is really hard for people, too, because you think of yourself as a good person. You don't want to abandon someone. And this is absolutely abandoning people who are just not for you. It's not their fault. You're not blaming them. You're not getting mad at them. Bad fit. But it's just not letting them soak up your life because they're gonna hold you back. They're gonna do all sorts. There's just nothing good. And you're not good for them. I mean, if they're a half for you, you might be a half for them.

Yeah.

So you're not necessarily doing them any favorite favors either.

Exactly.

Yeah.

It's a way to. It's a right fit or wrong fit client for you.

Yeah.

You know, and look, people that are total leeches. There's plenty of other people. They can suck the lifeblood out of those people, too. You know, if you want to just add a compassionate twist on what Chris is talking about here.

Yeah. And then, you know, these also represent the complainers, the trolls, or rock throwers. I mean, there was a comment earlier, Brett, the Canadian dude.

Yeah, Brett Wilson.

You know, he talked about people asking, you know, what about the negativity? Like, I get. I get pretty. You know, overall on Instagram, I'm really supportive, and still I get some negative comments. And I put something up and. And some guy said to me, like, look, are you. The negative comments on your post, does that get you down? I'm like, did you look at the ratio? Yeah, like, look at the ratio. So once you start adopting this, people that are for you, you don't got to serve everybody. The customer is not always right. The critic is not always right. You know, and the critic is usually wrong.

Right.

And you know, you're just better off, like, no. Bad on anybody. We're just going to walk away. Which also gets to. I don't have a lot of presentation on how you deal with half. But the short answer is walk away respectfully. Walk away respectfully. Now, that doesn't mean when you walk away, you're still not going to take some shots. And when we're teaching this in real estate, one of the agents didn't want to collaborate and be victimized by a particular half and walked away. And they were unsure as to whether or not it was a proper thing to do to walk away. And got a follow up, just critical email. We were going to do business with you, but you refused to do this. And because you refused to provide the service that we wanted from you, then that's why we're not going to do business with you. And they were beside themselves. They called me on the phone, they were like, holy cow, did we do the wrong thing? And I'm like, that's predatory behavior. And a predator gets angry with a victim for not allowing themselves to be victimized. So just by taking this approach, don't assume that it's going to be all sunshine and roses because the people that you will not allow them to victimize you. A predator becomes angry with a victim for not being a victim. So you're gonna take some heat. No matter how respectful you are when you walk away and you need to walk away respectfully, the last impression is a lasting impression. But don't assume that because you're nice and respectful that that's always gonna trigger the same type of behavior in return. You're gonna take some heat and that's confirmation that you did the right thing. Yeah, that's. That's great.

One thing, I'll just say this and then, because I'm loving this conversation, I think it was Bill Bacharach wrote value based selling for financial service people. I think it was in the 90s. And he had like five ways he categorized clients. The first one was great clients. They love you, they refer you, they're a pleasure to deal with. The second was sometimes worth helping. So sometimes they were okay. The third was fun but hopeless. They're nice people, but they never really give you any money. But they're not evil people. The third is fourth is uses you for information. And the fifth is doesn't trust anybody. And so if you were to say, take that as an 80, 20 rule, there'd be like 20% that were great clients. And maybe the sometimes worth helping could Be turned into a great client. Then the fun but hopeless uses you for information, doesn't trust anybody. And when I heard that, you know, and here I was with my marketing methods, ELF marketing, using free recorded messages, consumer awareness guides, education based marketing, all of these methods to sift, sort and screen price shoppers, pain in the ass clients. Doing all of this marketing in advance to deliver to me people that were pre interested, pre motivated, pre qualified and predisposed to give me money. So I already have built in marketing. But then by the time you get them, there's all these other things. So Dan has the opportunity filter where there's five ways you get paid, you get rewarded with money. People utilize you, people appreciate you, people refer you, and then they enhance you. And I was always reading these books on how much is each minute of your day worth, how much time and all these books on closing and marketing. And I was like, until Dan showed me that I was like the number one criteria for me doing business was someone using Dan's model is do they enhance me, do they utilize me? That's why I have a genius owner group. I don't sell business opportunities. I like people that can actually do something with what we offer. So I like dealing with players with money. That works for me. Right. They've already proven something that they have a capability. So, and then you know, do they appreciate me because I like to be appreciated? Do they refer me and five, do they, do they pay me? I am a capitalist, I want to make money, but that's not the number one thing that I look at. And then I, so I take the opportunity, filter the other model and then ELF versus half. And my, my brain now has just been trained to use that as a filter when I encounter people and I kind of like, is this person elf? Is this person half? If it's half, can it become elf? You know, that sort of thing. And this just adds a whole nother dimension to it because now there's a language, a language gene that you have identified because of how much you know about negotiation and in your background there, it's like, wow, this adds a whole nother layer to it. So to me I'm seeing such an incredibly useful possibility and capability here that we're now sharing with everybody. So yeah, I'm loving this stuff.

Yeah. And the point is implemented. Yeah, I mean, you know, listen to how important, listening to how somebody else puts it. This is now Joe puts it, you know, it'll begin to resonate with you as soon as you start road testing it. And You've got. And you just have to. So the parent. And a lot of people do this and a lot of people start combining these. Some of this is fascinating, but you get somebody who wants to see a listing of your costs. Bad sign start. You may not be ready to run for the hills now when you hear that, but we are. And if you're paying, if you start paying attention and pulling your own data, which, you know, I'll show you some of the ways to do that, you're going to go run from the hills. This is a predatory move and the parent as predator, because they're going to help you. And I've heard people on supply chain negotiations. This is one of the procurement person or supply chain person who dangle big contracts. And with this move, they told me they have to be really careful about who they buy from because if they become the biggest buyer of that provider of the service, they'll put them out of business. I think about that as an ethic to start with. Like they're intentionally engaging in a practice that if they become your best customer, they will drive you out of business. And this is what that looks like because they're saying, like, you know, I could help. I need to say, listening your calls. I saw an email once from a company that said, in the interest of having a great relationship, we need to see a listing of all your costs. Like, first of all, how long would it take you to pull that together? Think about the time. Suck on that. The one more thing. Always asking for one more thing. It seems reasonable. Or the parental sort of predatory move here. And as I said, these move back and forth. You know, they want to know, well, what was the cost of this component? Because we don't want it. So when you drop that out and we want, we want a discount. You know, this is, this is. But. And you're not sure whether or not you should comply with this because they're taking an approach that they're just helping you. You know, I'm just, you know, I'm cost optimization. I'm good at this stuff. I'm going to help you get better. I'm going to be the parent parent. I'm going to help your business. So we get this a lot. You need to know how you're going to do it. No, you don't. And I actually said to one company once who was really driving at us hard on this, I said, be happy to tell you once we've made a mutual commitment. And then I kind of went dead silent because the other thing why they will punish you for not engaging in this behavior. There are a lot of people out there that will do it. So they've been conditioned that it's what legitimate people, business people do. It's not what real successes do. But a lot of people that are, you know, on their learning journey, on their way along the ladder, you know, they think early on, well, you know, I mean, they're just trying to. I'm collaborative, I'm cooperative. I'm trying to serve you. The customer's always right. My heart is in the right place. You don't realize that these are traps. But when they tell you, you know, we got a real problem, I need to know how you're going to fix our problem. That feels good to you. You feel like the savior. That's one of the reasons why this becoming a victim in social interactions, suicide hotline, or in business, is so seductive to you because then you get to be the savior, and that's the whole point. Or they triggered your sympathy because they're a victim. Either of you, because you're failing to cooperate or circumstances, you know, we're in a really bad place. You know, we need you to help us. We need you to save us. We need you to rescue us. Somebody's coming to you to be rescued. If you're running a charitable organization, maybe, but it's going to be very costly. And if they drop. Anytime, anytime somebody's dropping the F bomb on you. The word fair in any negotiation like that is a victimizing word. Just want what's fair. We want a fair offering for you. You know, we want a fair price. Well, if you don't give them a fair price, then what are you doing? You're treating them unfairly. They're becoming a victim. They've made you the aggressor. And that when we first started developing a black swan method, that was the first word that jumped out at us. Because that comes up in almost every business interaction you have. Somebody is going to drop the F bomb at some point in time on you. And it is one. It's emotional blackmail when somebody drops it.

That is really good. I'm listening to you talk about this, and I remember when I was selling my courses to carpet cleaners, like at the head, you know, we're very focused in that niche. And not less than 10 times I had received a letter. Sometimes they came in by fax because I started selling these things in the 90s. And I remember one person had sent over before they were to buy my marketing course. Please send me the name of five clients, what their phone numbers are so I could talk to them, how long they've been using your stuff, how much each one of them has made as a result of this whole list of demands. And I'm reading this like an entire letter, like, to buy like a course that comes with a one year, 100% money back guarantee. And they faxed it. And I wrote on the fax. No, it faxed it back.

Yeah, clap for that one.

Yeah, it was so funny. But yeah. So this is these, these are all the things that they say. And this is. Yeah, you're absolutely right. The fair they are.

And if you do, if you'd have done that, how long would it take you to do it? And you're not getting paid while you're doing that.

Right, Exactly.

They're keeping you from an elf.

Yeah, no, you are. You are showing how people gaslight people in negotiations here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, maybe you guys, maybe you guys think this way and maybe you guys, you know, if some of you start talking about win win negotiation right off the bat, and that's a habit to get out of, if you say, if that win, win comes out of your mouth when you're talking to us, within the first minute or two, you're not far from me hanging up the phone on you. Because the predators use win, win to soften the other side up. They're testing you to see if they, if you, if you, if they can. If they can prey upon you. Anybody gets really excited when they hear this. What they. What the other side really means is I'm going to win a lot. That's I win. So if it, if it comes up early, we learned a long time ago, watch out.

And can I say this also, Chris, because on that one, when we were talking about this and going through this, on our conversation, when we first started talking about this, you know, I thought, man, you know, I've said win, win. I want win win. I don't lead with it. It's not the first thing out of my mouth. And I do genuinely want win win. And, you know, the more I've thought about this is Franklin Covey with seven Habits of Highly effective People. I mean, he has popularized. I mean, so many people have read the book think win, win. So I think in a lot of ways, what he wr. A lot of people that are predators have actually used that as a way to, you know, basically steamroll people.

Yeah, yeah.

So it was a really interesting distinction when you got me to see that and think about, okay, is it the people intentionally want to win win or is it, you know, is it they don't know any better. And it made me rethink about that whole term.

My Harvard colleagues and I can't remember which book it was in, but they put a graphic up a long time ago and they characterized, you know, the claim value win lose negotiator. The create value was a win win negotiator. And then they put up a grid showing how people did against the other side. And when a claim value win lose negotiator comes up against a create value win win negotiator, the claim value negotiator almost always destroys them. Now the win win, win win they come up with like they maybe get a B grade outcome, but the claim value, the predator knows that if the other side is really collaborative, really win win, they are vulnerable and I will destroy them. Now, have you given up on whatever is a phrase right straight out of the Black Swan method. 100% we have taught people this, but it's contextual. Now this is ridiculously effective. Like if somebody is ghosting you or it appears they've given up on it, the context of this is they've got something that have to have given up on. Now when I get this, and I get this a lot in an opening communication, you know, my gut instinct is how can I have given up on something when I never even spoke to you? But the predators are out there picking up the Black Swan method too. And they're only picking up the stuff that they know. And there's no oriented questions are very, very, very powerful. And so I will always entertain a brief conversation with these people to see what they're like. Because to me that if the opening conversation is have you given up on buying my SEO or whatever the hell it is that they're hustling, I'm like, I've got a really bad feeling here. I'm going to go ahead and engage and see if I can confirm that this is a very predatory person. And without exception, so far it's been predator on the other side when this is the opening line. So some of you might be using it as your opening line. You're finding it's very effective. I can't help that My data is every single time somebody uses one of my lines on me out of context, they're using it because it's, it's sucking a lot of people in and it's out of context. And like I said, I'll go ahead and talk to them to confirm my data. There's a lot of this stuff. We go ahead and, we go ahead and talk to people just to confirm our initial diagnosis. Most of these, my data, this hasn't failed me yet. If this is an opening line, the person on the other side is bad news or bad fit. To be fair.

Yes.

And one or two, because these are two different things. But somebody says, I have a great opportunity for you. Now, that's either a predatory line or an incredibly naive line. And either one of them is going to suck the life out of you. And because what that means is you're going to have to do all the work. I, after all, I brought you the opportunity. Thank God for me. And it's also the way the predators will suck you in because people, people get taken hostage to the future. Opportunity. Yeah, I want opportunity. And you find yourself in a real downward death spiral trying to get that opportunity. When people want to put me, we get calls all the time. There's going to be 20 billionaires in a room. It's a great opportunity. Thank you, but no, because what does that tell me? It's such a great opportunity. They don't want to pay me anything and they're relying on me 1000% to then do all the follow on business and do all the work to mind the opportunity on the other side. And there's some very legitimate groups that are constantly trying to get me or somebody on my staff in to speak for nothing. Because the opportunity is so great because of the value of the people that are going to be in the room. You're just going to be lucky to be in a room with them. It's a great opportunity. And they're shocked. I mean, they get mad at us because they got a lot of legitimate people they could put in a room and we're just not there. And then the feedback that we get is that these guys are being unreasonable and all right, you know, you could take that approach, but we're not, you know, we're not, We've seen it enough times. We're not sucked into this great opportunity thing.

Let me ask you a question on that too, because, you know, what level of rapport do you have to have with someone? Because, you know, you're, I'm not paying you to be here. You're a paying Genius Network member, you know, and you're on Genius Network faculty. And we also have a great relationship. You know, we help each other, that sort of stuff. And I've done a lot of presentations at places that don't pay me a speaker fee. Because I do leverage what's going to be in the room or what's going to happen in the street. Strategic byproducts. And there's others where I, like, I know they're just using it because they're trying to get a free speaker. They're trying to do that sort of stuff. So what is your evaluation process for when you're willing to not only do something or pay. I mean, why do you pay to be in Genius Hour?

And that's a great question which I have asked myself. I have a great opportunity, but I gotta have a good answer, right? Because I am here. Right. And I gotta know why Joe doesn't approach you with his handout. Joe and the people that you want to be associated with, they come to you with something for you. And so, you know, like, I'm ridiculously easy. I am very into reciprocity on almost any display of generosity. Like, if you've come to me and you've actually brought something to me, and Joe was doing nice stuff, like, almost everybody here, you know that Joe has been doing nice stuff for you before he ever asked anything of you. And he. I attended a couple conferences. I mean, you referred me to people. You started sending people my way. We didn't have any kind of a financial relationship, you know, use phrase, life gifts to the giver. Somebody approaches you, bringing value first. Then like, wow, Yeah. I mean, I'm going to do a free speech, a free speech in Berlin for a group based solely because the guy that asked me to do it has already done some really big favors for me. Now, I would never do that favor for that group ever, but I'm doing it because he asked me to. And he benefited me with no expectation of any sort of return first. And that's the difference, you know, that somebody who's started by actually helping me out and then. Then the generosity gets started and it, you know, it's. It's hard to pay back because somebody, you know, life gives to the giver. I mean, Joe somebody, somebody really smart says that a whole bunch of times. And that's. That's the difference. But if somebody starts out basically with their hand out, I'm like, okay, well, that's the best indicator. Future behavior is past behavior. So if they start with an approach with their hand out or their hand in your pocket first, that's how they're always gonna be. And that is not you. And that's the difference.

Thank you. Do you want to hear it from this guy?

Sure.

I mean, you know, here's Another dude.

Like, he gives you all kind. He's ridiculously generous.

Yes, he is crazy, but he is generous. Yeah.

So actually I wanted to say that I love what you're doing and it really reminds me a lot of AI and you and I have had this conversation before, but what you're using are keys that if you think about it, it's almost like natural language processing and you're looking for certain key words, almost like the government would, to figure out who's doing evil. But I want to remind you, you can also do it for good. And so as much as I love seeing what you're doing, Mike Koenigs gave me a great idea that's almost the opposite, but it's the same. And what he was saying to me is he was looking at the people and there's a number of people in the room that I love, people that I'm totally excited about our collaborations. And he was like, well, let's look at the difference between the ones that you have, an elf relationship versus a half relationship. And he said to me, you know, I think it's quick start. If somebody's not at quick start, you're not going to like them because of how fast you. It doesn't mean they'd be bad for the company. It's bad for me. And I started thinking about it. It's so easy for me to pick up words to tell if somebody's a quick start. On the other hand, Dan Sullivan has a concept in strategic coach called A, B and C clients. And for me, a C client is somebody who gives us money, A B client, somebody that is there if I say, hey, can you do me a favor? Or I want your feedback. And they're willing to be there, but really they come in and out of the life. And an A client for me are the ones who are there persistently. Not always nice, sometimes asking me hard questions oftentimes pushing me. But I realize that it's really a long term relationship and it's the best. I'm looking for keys that help me identify who to avoid, but also who we want to attract. And once you figure out those keys, it's easier to attract them. So it's what do you want to repulse, but also what do you want to attract? And again, I love the way you think about this stuff.

Can we do this too? Can we hold the questions? Because Babs have one too until you.

Go and we're almost done. I just want to get to those last few phrases. Thank you Again, the scope creep Think predators will do that to you? Part of the bad deal 2009, 2010 the scope crew was out of control. We were collaborative. We want to provide a great service. We're trying to over deliver. There's a difference between giving in to Scope creep, which is wrong, and over delivery. If you hire the Black Swan group, we're going to over deliver. I mean, you know, we pride ourselves on outworking and over delivering. So that no matter what you pay us and you're going to pay us a lot, you're going to get way more than you than you thought you were going to get. But we don't do Scope Creek. But we're going to over deliver our services. And those are two different things. And then finally on the last. And this is one that I thought was. And there's a difference between I have a great opportunity versus I have a great idea. And we're on a phone on a zoom with recently with Dan. He was talking like, if somebody says, I got a great idea for you, we run for the hills. And it's very, you know, the Sharks. There was discussion on Shark Tank. The Sharks say a great idea is worth maybe $20. But if I got a great idea for you, I'm your savior. And if you fail to capitalize on it, then you're the idiot, you're the failure. And a lot of people think all you need is a great idea. No, you do not. You need a hell of a lot more than that. You actually probably don't even need a great idea. A good idea with great implementation will get you a long way. A mediocre idea with great implementation will get you a long way. It's about implementation. It's about crossing the territory from the beginning to the goal. It's not like, you know, there's a. There's gold in them. There are hills. All you got to do is go in there and get it. So these are two different things, but they're warning signs of people that are going to suck the life out of you. And it's very different between I have a great opportunity to. I have a great idea. Two different thought patterns on the other side. Both are bad. And if they come to you and they got a short time frame. My hair's on fire. You set your hair on fire. I'm sorry, it's on fire. I didn't set your hair on fire. And in point of fact, is it actually on fire? Or did they just learn that by being under a tremendous amount of pressure themselves, they could get you to Jump through hoops that you shouldn't have to jump through in a situation that you didn't create. So build your own data set, and this is what you have to look for. You don't want to start running away from clients right now. Don't. But just pay attention to who they were, how they found you, how long did it take from beginning to end, and then start listing the behaviors that they exhibit, and this stuff is going to start jumping out at you. And there have been a number of people we've tried to teach this to that just did not want to accept it. And we said, all right, so what the clients look like that were really horrible and difficult. What the clients look like that went really well. And then it just started coming to them. So this is the beginning of your conversation. You're beginning diagnostic. But this is what you should be looking at, because the best indicator of future behavior is past behavior. And it also goes for types. These are great indicators of what to start looking for. And very much like what Howard observed, a type mismatch doesn't necessarily make them a bad person. It's just a type mismatch and that. So I got a short video when we're done. I need seven minutes. When we're done, we got 14. So we can do some questions, right?

Yep. Yep. Let's play the video. I think you have to.

Well, there were a couple other questions. Is somebody else? Because the question will be last. Video's going to be last.

Oh, I got you. Okay.

Yeah.

Let's do Thaddeus and Babs.

Yeah, I sat down especially because I figured by the end of the presentation, you probably would have answered my question anyway. I just jumped the gun. But. And you know, with us, we talk to a lot of people before we sign them up. Right. You know, it's usually about 1 or 2 in 10 that we sign up and we screen out a lot of people, but the more we can pre screen. So that's what I was wondering if we use how. Well, I like Howard's question, too, is how do you attract to the ones that end up being really good? And, you know, but it's thousands of people because we sign up about, you know, over 700 people, 800 people now a year. And. But it could be faster to get to the right people and to eliminate the not right people so that we, you know, your thing about if it takes a long time, they're not the right people. So, you know, we could just eliminate the maybes and say no. I mean, the nos are Fine. We don't try to talk them out of their. No. Eliminate the maybes. And then the rest of them are probably more likely. But my question was, can you use this to pre screen before you sign them up?

Yeah, I would. Absolutely.

Or.

And just looking for the. Looking for the words.

So we just have to look for our own words.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay.

Yeah, I would. I absolutely would.

Yeah.

Okay.

And by the way, everyone has a. As a. As a sheet, a printout with the phrases that Chris just went through. So you all have that there. And I didn't want to point that out to anyone because I think it's better if they actually listen and then write it and try not to jump ahead. But then you tell them and they're like, damn it, I just spent all this time writing in my journal. How many of you that that just happened for?

Yep. See?

Yeah, I know.

Handwriting is a learning accelerator.

What's that?

Handwriting is a learning accelerator.

Exactly.

It is.

It is Jennifer Hooty iii. Do you know she has the same birthday as me 25 years earlier?

That's right. So.

Oh, whatever.

Yeah, we celebrated. What was that? My 25th and your 50th four years ago.

Right.

So kind of on the point of that, I had a huge breakthrough. So obviously, being in messaging and copy, one of the big things that we do on our team is anytime we're having sales calls, anytime we sign up a client, we all go back to the calls and literally look verbatim. What did that person say of what the current situation was that they experienced what they wanted and what was standing in their way? And we've done that enough times to find the consistencies that our clients say the exact same words. And then we take that and we use it in our copy and messaging to attract and repel. But I had a huge light bulb when you were talking about, you know, we haven't done that extra layer of basically the warning signs and what are they saying for the warning signs? So we've done them for the attracting and the messaging and the copy, but making sure that we're hearing those warning signs in advance. So that was such a key piece that we were missing. So thank you so much. My question is, you mentioned the distinction between scope creep and over delivering. Can you, like, clarify that even more? Because I notice we get that little muddle where we're over delivering, and then suddenly it's scope creep and can't find that balance.

Yeah. Fine lines between what you didn't plan on doing in the first place and Then it seems like it's a related supportive behavior, but you know that it doesn't really reinforce what you were there for in the first place. And I know that sounds kind of vague, but really, one more thing is Scope Creep that they're suggesting. And in the midst of it, if you're finding a way, if you discover a way to better deliver what you were there to deliver in the first place, we'll make adaptations in a moment to try to make the point better, or we'll put in extra hours to reiterate the point to do it over again. If somebody's unhappy, we'll schedule another session because they're not getting it. But if they start asking us to do stuff that we were never there for in the first place, but it seems related, that's how I would define the difference between Scope Creep and over delivery of the service.

Awesome. Thank you.

Great stuff, as always. So thank you. So you said something that made me now question myself. So I've used this in business discussions with some of them I'm going to collaborate with. I've used this to acquire millions in real estate. And one of the questions I start with is, hey, I'd love to try to make this a win win. And I'll say so with that in mind. What would a win look like to you? And then what I've done is then when they respond is then I go to work to try to solve that and make that a reality for them. So my brain is kind of doing this because I thought that was a good thing as a way for me to ask, what are you wanting to accomplish? So then I can go to work to try to accomplish that for them. But now I'm hearing you say maybe to phrase that differently. So I'd love to hear thoughts on that.

June. Real estate.

I mean, a lot of things.

Yeah. And these are price negotiations.

Well, not only that, but let's say, I'll give you an example. There's a $3 million ranch for sale. First time it's ever been for sale. And I went to them, I said, I'd love what would be a win for you on this. And they said, we'd like to sell this to somebody that's going to continue on our legacy. This has been in the family for hundreds of years. It's this family ranch. I said, great. And I said, well, my goal is to turn this into a historic ranch. I want to refurbish the farmhouse, blah, blah, blah, blah. Basically, I was able to repaint their vision of what they wanted to continue, and so they chose me over another buyer. And they actually then ended up giving me even a better price and better terms on the property. And they've since been back, and I toured them around, and I said, well, what do you think of what I'm doing with the place? And they started crying. So I'm like, well, great. We're doing the right thing. They're like, thank you so much for continuing with the legacy. So those are the types of things I'm trying to accomplish and solve is really satisfying, what the other party's wanting.

Right, Right. So, I mean, you're not. You're not using it as a. You're not. What you're doing is you're swapping out value and you're delivering people a lot of emotional value, and you actually mean it. You're also doing it.

Answer.

Whatever.

Whatever they want. I'm trying to get that for them.

Right, you're also doing it to get them soften up the price.

Well, well, no.

Now there's. Because you. Because you're delivering additional value, that's okay. And because you're paying attention to them emotionally.

We already agreed on the price even before we got to that.

But.

So before we got to what. I'm not going to disagree with you on that. And certainly, yeah, it works for that in price. I get where you're coming from. I guess it's because there's a lot of different ways to skin the cat. Right? So to me, I feel. I see it's all part of it. Another property I bought, I said, well, why do you want to sell? They're like, well, we haven't sold this building in how many years? I'm like, well, I'll give you full price. I'll tell you what, the bank covers 75%. Why don't you cover the 25% down payment and I'll pay you off in five years. So I gave them full price. I just was able to then use my capital to improve the building and do other things. So it was a way to find a collaborative win. So, like, I didn't change the price on that. I was able to modify the terms and get them what they wanted. They just wanted the property off their. Off their books that wasn't selling. And here I was finally coming along after been sitting there for 12 months, languishing, and I was able to buy the property from them. A lot of different ways that it works out. So just the whole thing about price, I just want to put that in there because it's not always about price. It can be terms agreed. So what would be another way to, I guess, accomplish that and make sure? Because I feel like I'm really coming across as genuine as, hey, what is a win for you guys? And trying to solve that for them. But now, is there a different verbiage maybe to be using?

Well, could I say this? I mean, and it's one thing. If it's working for you, that's one thing. It's when others are using it on you in a way that, you know, makes them a half client. So is that.

Yeah, no, exactly. I mean, you're living the rest of the collaborative negotiation now. You can't help the fact that other people are using that exact same tactic in a very predatory fashion.

And maybe I'm naive because whenever people have asked me, I'm like, oh, great, well, this is what a win would look like. And then I map it out, and.

Then as we're talking about it, you're changing the words. You realize that, right?

Sure.

So how'd you change the words you're saying?

Right then?

Yeah.

I'm sorry. Maybe I missed it then.

I know, because, look, I gotta tell you something. You need to be warned in advance. I listen real good.

Okay, this is perfect. I feel like I'm getting my own session here. Sorry, guys.

So the discussion was, how can I.

Make this a win for you, Chris? Because I'm taking up all your time now, right?

And so what's the difference between win and win win? Are those the exact same words? They are not. I mean, one word change is enough to make a change. And I said, people that talk about, look, I want a win win deal, right? And you said, how do I make this a win for you? Those are, in fact, different words.

Agreed. All right, I guess I'll sit with that a little bit because I feel like I'm maybe still missing it.

No, no, no, that's cool. I mean, like, if you're. If you're ideally, this is just getting you to think, that's all. And think about, you know, what your intent is. And your intent is clearly to have people that after the fact, are not destroyed, like some supply chain negotiators, but people after the fact, after they have done business with you. Instead of saying, yeah, that guy kicked my ass, they're saying like, no, I made a great deal with that guy. He paid attention to who we were, you know, he paid attention to what we wanted to get ultimately out of. We weren't selling a house, we were selling a Home, you know, we had hopes and dreams that were involved there and he respected that.

Cool, thank you.

Yeah, just, I mean, determine it, you know, someone else or they half. I mean, you can take a look. You can evaluate a lot of your clients with this sort of process. But in terms of scrambling his brain, we could. I think you should feel really bad about how you are utilizing these very manipulative techniques on other people. And if the shame hits you deeply enough, talk to Ken Wells, maybe Ned Hallowell, and we'll work this shit through. That's the way it's good. I mean. Yeah.

And then if he disappears, we'll get Andre to find him. Because Andre can find anybody.

Exactly.

Yeah. Yeah.

Last question with Gordy.

Sweet.

Cool. Firstly, Chris. Yeah, thank you. Your have you given up on is worth the 25k membership in itself.

It's worked so well.

The hardest negotiators I found are my kids. So.

Because the tricks don't work with them.

So I just, I wanted to know if you have any strategies with them.

The late night radio DJ voice is not working with them. So any tips with kids would be appreciated.

Yeah, well, kids learn persistence, that's all. And they also, in point of fact, like, that's when I really, really started to realize, you know, how powerful it is to get somebody to say no. Because, you know, I don't know how many of you know my son Brandon. Brandon is a brilliant negotiator. Brandon is the reason why the Black Swan group runs so well. I mean, he runs a company. We would not be where we are without him. But when he was 17, he'd be like, dad, can't I? And I go, no. And then I'd say, all right, because I said no. And now I feel comfortable. I'm safe, I'm protected. And then I'd hear him out. And he learned that once a parent says no, they listen more. And that's probably a little bit what you're going through. You're telling your kids no. You chill out a little bit because you set a barrier. And you've taught them, this is not parents and children. This is human beings. Kids get told enough, they just learn like, all right, the old man just said no. There's a pretty good chance that I could work this out. Now there's going to be a state change in the parent having said no. So, I mean, that's part of what's going, in my opinion. That's part of what's going on. And the other part of it is like, you know, do What I did to terrorists. I just asked them how and what. The whole time they got tired and gave up and said, where are your kids at? How am I supposed to do that? One mother sent me an email. She's like, her 13 year old kid came through and wanted to buy a video game. And she, and she looked at me, she said, how am I supposed to do that? And he said, okay, I'll pay half. So first of all, she got the price down 50%. And so then she just kept saying, how am I supposed to do that to him? And she said, finally the kid started stomping on the floor going, mom, are you really that poor? Like, that was a win. You wore them out. Excellent. Wear them out, you.

So I told Dan he could ask a question then. Are you saying you want. I just had a. Oh, yeah, you can go up. Yeah. I mean, look, you guys are in 100k. Fuck it. You pay more money, you get better.

Let me just say this real quick. I mean, I think it comes across as you're like a hardcore negotiator.

I'm a sweetest guy I know.

But that was going to be my point because we were sitting there talking about it's personal. We were talking about your divorce with my wife right there over whiskey. And she's like, man, he is so thoughtful and so wonderful because you went through like all the different points and how she would say something. You're like, well, you know, I don't know how you want expect me to do that. But you were going through all the points and addressed it and she's like, it didn't come across as a negotiation. It came across as you listened to her and you know, you were just so genuine and you just, you wanted a really good result for both of you.

So thank you. Appreciate that.

Wonderful framework. I really enjoyed reading through the list and getting the terminologies that you use. One thing that I learned from Dan Sullivan last year is always be the buyer. When I explained that to my team, I'm like, I don't want people to feel like they're buying us. We are buying them as clients and they can make our lives hell or they can, you know, have us enjoy our work. So this is a great way of adding more depth to that. So I always, I always kind of, if I get messages that are like, how much is this going to cost me? It's immediate, they don't get an answer to that. So. Yeah, so I just wanted to add that kind of, kind of spin on it.

Really.

Yeah, I Forgot what my actual question was.

There you go. No, that's a really good point because then you start hear this stuff showing up in other ways, how you're applying it, and it's. Maybe it's not necessarily my verbiage, or maybe it's not. You know, we accelerated when we started saying no to more stuff or always be the buyer, you know, but there's a little bit of a mindset change there where you, where you're focusing on fit and what works and whatever it takes to begin to trigger that. Because you hear business person after business person after business person say things took off once I started thinking like this, this. And I'm here to tell you my company's biggest problem right now is satisfying demand. And that ain't a bad problem. Satisfying demand. We got more demand than we could deal with by doing business with fewer people, intentionally walking away from entire segments of people. Yeah.

And I'll tell you, when you're doing this sort of thinking, I mean, that makes sense as to why you're evaluating this. So you know Derek Sivers, who talked earlier, he has a line where he says saying yes to less is the way out. And it's a really interesting thing applying what Chris has just talked about. So if you got so much demand, you want to say less to half and you want to find the elf, and that still allows you to just, it's not just make more money, but have just a better life and just a better experience.

And so, yeah, we had an example last year. We had someone that I knew from a group already was trying to refer a rather large client and they were in like paid ads game and stuff like that. And so we evaluated the client and we said, well, we think that that site would be a good fit for us. And then we get a message from another agency saying, we're this big agency, we demand that you do not speak to their search guys. And I recognize that it's the same brand. Right. And that we also demand that you give us all the information that we need from you to determine that you're a good fit for us. So I didn't respond to that. And it took about four hours for them to tell me that I'm being rude for not responding. I mean, I don't think four hours with a time difference between Australia and the UK is by any means unreasonable. Anyway, so I ignored them again. But on their third try, I basically gave them a three word response which was along the lines of we can't deal with you.

I thought you Were gonna say go f yourself.

It was something along those lines. Probably more closer.

Yeah, but that's exactly what I was talking about. Cause they try to victimize you.

Yeah.

And you refused to. You didn't immediately allow shut. And now they're mad at you because you wouldn't be the victim.

Yeah.

What?

You're going to run into the Search. Search Agency. You know, that was the other thing.

Okay. Can I say one thing? I see Eunice in the background back here.

Then I'll run the video after you say it. Yeah.

Okay. So thank you very much, Dan. So, Chris, you're in the 100k group. We got some 100k members up here. We have 100k dinner tonight. How many of you in the room? We have not. I don't do promotions here. I floated around. I mean, if people inquire how many of you are interested in 100k? Anyone got 1, 2, 3? Anyone else? 4.

Okay.

If you're interested, genuinely interested in 100k, we want people that have been in Genius Network for at least a year. Right. Talk to Eunice. And if you're genuinely interested in. Then we'll invite you to the dinner tonight so you can, you know, know, kind of hang out with us and stuff and see what this crazy, secret, cultish group is. You want to mention anything about. Why are you in Genius Network?

Because I had to come to a group that was being run by a guy who was as generous as you. Thank you.

And I wasn't even there last year. And you were quite young.

Still. Still around. Because that's the kind of people that are attracted here. Yeah. Just constant reinforcement.

Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. All right, so let's play the video.

The video is. All right. So as you apply this stuff, you're going to make mistakes. You're going to take some preparation, look over stuff, reflect up. But this is a short video about preparation and whether or not stuff happens to you if you make mistakes. Chris Ross is a former FBI lead, international kidnapping negotiator.

He worked only.

So I realize it's a little bit dark, but, you know, this is the first time I was ever on cnn. I thought it was really cool. The first time I'm doing cnn, I'm also on Anderson Cooper, which is extra cool. And I'm really excited because I don't know what it's like to do media. I'm fresh out of the FBI and I'm from Iowa, too. I know my accent doesn't sound like it, but I'm from Iowa, so there's stuff that I don't know, but I want to find out about. Like, I'd always heard that they have a green room in Iowa. If you got a room in your house, it's a green room. It's going to be green. If you call it the green room, it's going to be green. And I want to know if the green room at CNN is green. And that's the first place you go. I go in. It's not green. I'm like, all right, media people, what are you going to do? So after the green room, where you go is makeup. Now, I had never had makeup on before, and I can remember the first time when this really pretty makeup lady's putting makeup on my face. I look in the mirror and I'm thinking, my father is rolling over in his grave right now. He would never understand this. So after you go for makeup, they take you into the. You're not in the studio with Anderson. You're in a room. It's actually a large, dark closet. And the light shines right in your eyes. And they say, stare at the light. Look at the light. Talk to light. You're talking to Anderson. And then there's a monitor that's down to the left. And they say, the monitor will go live. When we go live. Do you want that off or on? And I said, leave it on. I've never seen me on TV before. I want to watch me on tv. Yeah, leave that baby on. So the monitor has just gone on, and I don't know if you could tell how dark it is, but the preparation is the hair sticking out the side of my head, and I'm looking down. I'm staring at the monitor, and I'm perplexed. You know, this is going to get back to my mom. People that know my mom are going to call her on the phone and say, your son doesn't know how to comb his hair. It's on national tv. There are more people watching this than in my hometown in Iowa. And this is not going to go bad. This is going to go bad. So, you know, you can see I'm concerned. And the real problem here at this point in time is the monitors are mirror images. And I don't know which side of my head the hair is sticking out.

What year is this?

Yeah, it was yesterday. Don't give me a hard time about the gray hair. I know I have more gray now than I had then, thank you very much. So. But I'm a hostage negotiator, right? I operate under Pressure. I figure stuff out under pressure. I can come up with decisions. So my first thing I gotta do is I gotta figure out which side of my head the hair's sticking out. So for some reason, I thought move my head around, I was gonna, like, make the hair wave in air and I'd feel it. And you see from the look on my face, my thoughts are, no, that didn't really work. So I'm trying to decide what to do. You know, like, what are my options? Because I gotta think about the options. Like, if I do with two hands, I look like one of the three Stooges. I also know it'd probably be bad if I were to lick my hand. So I got options going through my mind. Anderson Cooper's hair is perfect. Like, how is that fair? Anderson Cooper could be in a hurricane. His hair wouldn't move. And I guarantee you, while this was going on, the producer in the back went, hey, hey, hey.

Go.

Split screen, screen. Let's make sure everybody sees the Voss's hair is really screwed up. And you can see that when we've gone split screen. And I could see this now there's a little extra snarl on my face because I know how bad I look compared to Anderson. So now I'm really feeling pressured. You know, the clock is ticking. You know, people are going to call my mom, People are going to email me, and I got to make up my mind. And it's like being in that kid's jump rope game with double Dutch or like, you know, when do I go? When do I move? When do I go? I got to make a move. Closely involved in this. And finally. And you kind of see kind of a sick look coming across my face. Damn it. So the only point I'm trying to make actually is, you know, as you guys try any of this stuff, like, they didn't kick me off CNN because I made a mistake and my hair was messed up. We finished the interview. Everything went fine. They had me back a bunch of times. Just approach this whole process on halves and elves gently and genuinely and allow yourself to make mistakes. It'll be fine. Thanks for your time.

Give it up for chris voss.

Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. Thanks, brother.

Thank you.

Okay, I hope you found that video awesome and useful. So if you want to get a free copy of my book, I want you to click here. And if you want to watch some more videos that will be useful and awesome, click here. Go ahead. You're over here.

Do it now. Come on.

Thank you. Watch them.