Embracing Forgiveness Your Path to Inner Peace feat. Brian Tracy

So having resentment towards another person. And it could be someone that either did you wrong or there's a lot of envy where people are just angry and mad at another person that they oftentimes don't even know, or they heard someone else talk about someone, but they never really validated if what that person was saying was really true or not. There's a, you know, million different variations of that. How do you, how have you found the difference between, say, letting go, forgiveness, moving on, just someone, let's say someone betrayed you because I know both of us have had pretty bad situations where people have, you know, attacked, made, made up stories. It could be anything from a, a negative re review or an insult or something to outright, you know, theft. And, and, and I often say this to young entrepreneurs, it's kind of a joke. I say, if I would have known being successful was this much work, I would have stuck with being a loser. And you know, so, so there's a lot of work and you know, we've all encountered, we've encountered a lot over the years. How do you, how do you move past it when it's really a severe breach or if someone's really done something that's not with integrity or just outright theft or abusive? I mean, how, how do you, how do you not drink that poison? I guess metaphorically.

One of the things that I do, and we, we've both had to fight through this. One of the things that I do is I say I, I forgive them for everything. I forgive him or her for everything. God bless him, I forgive them for everything. And it's, it's impossible to forgive someone and be angry. It's impossible to forget forgive someone and for it to have any negative effect on you. So the, the more you forgive other people, the better you feel. And it doesn't have any effect on them anyway.

Yes.

It's just, you're saying, God, God bless them, I wish them well. God bless them, I wish them well. And so what you do is you get it off. You know, Wizard Mark Richard Hansen says, you know, he does that little thing, but getting rid of negative thinking, negative feelings, negative reactions, and just let it go, let it pass.

How do you approach people that have come to you over the years? Read your books, go to your seminars, looking to you for advice. And we've both encountered this. Anyone that is a position of teaching, anything, any sort of teacher or instructor or coach or mentor is going to encounter this, where they show up in their ethics according to your own value system, they're not the Same like, meaning. I have a lot of opportunistic people that come into my world over the years. And I defined in my book that there's a big difference between pursuing an opportunity versus being an opportunist. There's a bit, you know, everybody has a want. We all want something. Nobody would read one of your books or go to one of your seminars or watch one of your videos or buy one of your courses or mine if they didn't want something. No one that is a salesperson would walk in to, you know, face to face environment or, you know, over zoom or whatever over the phone wanting to sell something if they didn't want something for the other person. What I say though is when you ask somebody for something, make sure that your give is equal to or greater than their want. I mean, even the other day when we were texting, you know, my first approach is, Brian, how could I do? What could I help you with? And you said, it made me feel really good. You said, you know, Joe, we've been friends for many years. I don't need anything for you. Just here to help you and there to serve. Which is just a testament to how you show up as a human. And I have always done my best to not ask somebody for something if I can't show up with something useful for them that's either equal to or greater. So when people show up with all want but no give, and they're very opportunistic and they're trying to use your strategies, your sales techniques so they can go out and pitch people on stuff. How, how do you deal with that?

I just, just let it go. You know the expression, water off a duck's back as you just let it go, nod, smile, yeah, that's a great idea. And you just recognize that that's where 80% of people are. There's, they're asking not what's in it for them, but what's in it for me?

Right, right.

Therefore, if that's fine and you just let it go and, and don't let it affect you, just accept it's like, you don't get upset when it rains out. It just rains. You know, that's just the way the world works. Then sometimes it rains and so you don't, so you just let them go. And, and, and, and this. The law of cause and effect. The. I call it the Aristotelian principle of causality makes me sound smart, but basically it says that for every action, there's a reaction. For everything that you do, something happens back for you that nothing is ever neutral, is always. There's an effect, a cause and effect relationship. So therefore, if you want to have a great life, then put in good things, good ideas help people. And it always comes back to you. And it comes back to you. Always more than you put in. Yeah, don't get upset about it. You wish them well.

How do you, how do you actually. When do you determine if the juice is worth the squeeze? So if you see someone and you know that it may require a lot of work or there's a lot of resistance with them, when do you take the time to say, you know what, here's how I'm going to help the person versus, you know, we're just not on the same page. I wish you the best. Get the hell out of my life. I mean, I know you probably wouldn't say that to someone directly. I have no idea. I'm not sure. But how do you, how do you discern who gets your personal time? Like, the great thing about writing books and doing videos is you can say, you know what, go and read my whole book and then come back and talk with me and tell me if you learned anything. So I do that oftentimes when I'm coming across people that, you know, you just know they haven't done any research on you. You know, they haven't really gone deep with anything. But when, when you, when you are dealing with someone to determine if you're going to give them your personal time because you, you, you're, you've influenced millions of people through your words that you've written, that you've spoken, that you have recorded. And there are a lot of people that would love to get a piece of your time and to have Brian personally mentor them. How do you determine who's worth it and when you need to walk away?

Well, again, you've taught this, as have others, is you trust your intuition. Just trust your intuition. Your, your intuition will tell you what to do, more of or less of, what to pursue, what not to pursue, and just don't get wrapped up in it. Don't get your knickers in a knot, as they say. The great, the great majority of people are asking, what's in it for me? Yeah, successful people, don't they say, how, how can I help you? And what I do is I steer them and I make it so I call it ping pong, the ping pong way of life. You hit the ball over, I hit it back. You hit the ball over, I hit it back. If you stop hitting the ball over, the game stops. Yeah, yeah, it's pretty simple. And so people come in to me, say, I need some advice or some guidance. And I used to think that this was a wonderful tribute to my knowledge and wisdom. And now what I do is I say, read this book. Sometimes I give them a book, sometimes I just give them the title. I say, if you really want to be excellent in selling or starting a business or raising money or, or anything, read this book and then come call me and come back and let's talk about it. And 90% of people you'll never see or hear from again.

Exactly. No, you're right.

You give them a hurdle that they have to jump over. And if they don't, when you read the book, come back. And sometimes I'll give them the book. And I, I, I learned this way back at the beginning of my career. Give them the book and then have them, they have to hit the ball.

Back over such, such good advice. And oftentimes people may not realize that until they have, you know, your whole thing about don't get your knickers in the night or whatever. The funny thing is, is we've all had to learn this ourselves. That's how you have all of this knowledge and wisdom is there was a point in time where you just go out and try to help people and you realize, wow, a lot of people ain't going to follow up there. They don't want to jump any hurdles. And I really do think that which is not earned is seldom valued. There's a big difference between get having a fee versus giving something away for free. And I always, as are you, and I just want to put out good ideas in the world, and I just want to share them with people. And most of, I think the people that benefit from both of what we do, they never pay us anything. They come across a video, they listen to a course, they read something, or they make a very small investment. You know, oftentimes the cost of a book. Right. In order to get what you could really legitimately say is a lifetime of learning and teaching. And the fact is, there's a huge difference between someone that goes and buys the book themselves versus if someone gives them a book. And I've given away, like my recovery books, I've written two books on addiction recovery. I've given away far more of those for free than I ever charge for. And on my foundation site, which is geniusrecovery.org, i don't even sell anything. It's like an educational platform. Just Designed to help people with addiction. And I don't sell anything. I don't have a rehab center. I have a treatment. One day, maybe I'll point people to specific things. Like, we're creating stuff in virtual reality right now for fantasy contamination, which is what we're calling it, because most addictions are a fantasy, and you want to contaminate toxic fantasies because in the moment, they seem like a good thing, but then you realize they can destroy your life. So, you know, there's that. However, right now, I take the money I make in my business and for people that support it, and we just, you know, create that for free. So there's a lot of free information out there. And there is a point, though, where you realize this person ain't doing anything except, you know, keep asking, asking, asking. So your whole notion of give them a book, send them off, and if they can't cross that hurdle, 90% of them really don't.

That.

That is a great barometer. And I have developed my spidey senses over the years because I. For the longest time, my buddy Patrick Giantempo is the one that shared this very simple but profound distinction with me. He's like, it's one thing ignoring the red flags. I mean, oftentimes there's red flags. You don't see the red flags, or you do see them, and you ignore them. What you really need to pay attention to are the yellow flags. And the yellow flags are often, you know, they're there, and they're not quite so severe. So you kind of let people go. You.

You got it.

And I'll tell you, I mean, I'm.

I'm way more in tune with my intuition today than I ever was in the past, because I had to get. You know, I. I had to get beat up a few times in order for me to realize there were signs. I just didn't notice them. I just didn't pay attention to them. And I let someone's charm or I let their narcissism sort of fool me into thinking they were really an authentic person, but they really weren't. And so that's. That's what I've learned now. And I think giving education to people. Not only are writing books a great way to share ideas, if you do have good ideas and you really do want to help people, it's a great filtering mechanism. Hey, I hope you're enjoying this video. And I want to let you know.

That I have a new book that's come out, and if you'd like to.

Get it Absolutely free.

There's.

There's a link below in the description, or you can wait till the end of this video, or you can Simply.

Go to joe'sfreebook.com and you can get a copy there.

And in all of the years and all of the wisdom that you have acquired, what would. If you had to say, here's the Brian Tracy operating system to start in your teens and then in your 20s. And if you do these things as you get into your 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, and beyond, your life could turn out this way. If you do these things early on, what would those things be?

Well, I've already answered that a little bit.

Yeah, with it. With the three. You know, the.

No, I.

The triangle was a perfect way to. To mention that.

I just want to make sure we.

And it's. And. And, you know, it comes down to responsibility. When I began to study metaphysics, Russian metaphysics, Uspensky and Gortschev, the great teachers of the 1900s, it's when I started to understand the impact and influence of your mind and how the most important thing you can do is to become a very positive and focused person. And the starting point is to accept responsibility, is to eliminate negative emotions. So the most important thing is the elimination of negative emotions. And you do that by saying, I am responsible. Nobody else is responsible. No one else is responsible for it, and nobody else is going to do it for me. If there's anything that I want, one of my favorite words I can write a book on that is clarity is just becoming very, very clear about who you are and then clear about what you want and how you're going to get there.

Yes.

One of the major reasons why people are unsuccessful is they're unclear, they're fuzzy about what they need to do to get it. And so if you just take people and walk them through it. There's a very good book written many years ago, the psychiatrist in New York who had. And. And he was a Jewish psychiatrist, and the Jewish people always tell you that within Judaism there's an enormous amount of negativity and guilt. And so he was brought with a lot of negativity and guilt. And he went to psychiatrists and psychologists, and he read and he studied and he did everything possible, and he was still miserable. And. And then he stumbled across a principle, and I'm going to try to reach into my memory for it. And he formed a. An organization north of Phoenix in. What is the. What. What is the area?

Glendale.

Pardon?

North of Phoenix. Something in Glendale, Scottsdale.

It's in the mountains. And it's a, it's a, it's, it's a, it's a resort area.

Oh, Sedona.

Sedona, yes, yes, yes. He calls it the Sedona Method and the Sedona, yes. And his name escapes me right now. But what he did was he talked about having negative things and holding on to them. You'll know this as soon as it clicks. You'll be negative and angry and frustrated and so on. And you blame it on someone else. And blame it on someone else. And so at the beginning, Jack Canfield told me this when he went there to this two or three day resort and, and what everybody was to think about the thing in their life that makes them the unhappiest, making angriest. And so, and so he says, now imagine that this is a pencil pen like this. And it says, you hold it in your hand. All right? Now what would happen if you held this pencil in your hand for a few minutes to your hand? Well, your hand would start to tighten up. And what if you held it for an hour and Right. And then five hours and you kept holding and you hold it tighter and tighter? What would happen to your hand? Well, your hand would start to get tighter, tighter. And the muscles would tighten up and the joints would tighten up and everything else. So how do you get rid of this negative thing in your life that's causing you all this aggravation? And he said, the answer is very simple. He said, everybody reach out their hands with their pen or the pin below them and then what do you do? You just let it go. So how do you get rid of the negative things in your life? He said, just let it go. And it's called the Sedona Method.

Well, that, that was Hale Dwaskin is what I pulled up, right. Hell, Hale Dwaskin, he saw, he wrote the book the Sedona Method. Is that him?

It could be. It could be God.

I remember that from years ago too.

I'm glad.

No, but there's a famous philosopher, I can't remember his name, that says the last thing that a human being ever lets go go of as their suffering.

Yes, yes, I've heard that too. That's right. But the thing is, the key to your success is to realize that this is success only exists because you're holding on to it. Let it go. And that's why I read a wonderful Christian piece of writing and it said that if Jesus only taught one principle that would rate him as the greatest spiritual teacher of all time. It would be forgiveness just to let it go. Just to forgive everybody and everything for anything. Just let it go. And when you let it go, because all what happens is your mind is clear, your body is clear, the stress on your fingers and hands and everything just disappears. And so this is important and it's under your control because only you, only you are holding on to it. And so people are thinking, well, all that has to happen is somebody else has to do or not do something, and then I'll be okay. No, all you have to do is just let it go. Why? Am I upset or unhappy? Whatever it is, just let it go and get on with the rest and get on for the rest of your life. So that's why forgiveness, if you. If you look at Christian teachings or spiritual teachings throughout the ages, forgiveness runs through them all because you can't. You can't make any progress at all. If you're still mad or if you're still holding it back, just let it go.

I love it. Well, let me, let me, can I. So here's what I'd like to do. If you're open for it, I would love to interview you on contribution, responsibility, connection, even the whole concept of easy to get into something and hard to get out. That's such an important thing. And then in clarity, which is one of the things you talked about, if you'd be. I'd love to do a part two on that because you, you know, you've got so much knowledge and wisdom, and I would love to help you with any, anything, always that. Because you have so much, you've helped so many people, and you put out so much good work into the world. And even our interviews that I have with you have been viewed so many, I mean, in the hundreds of thousands of times, the interviews I have with you that I've put on on YouTube, so I know this one will be watched and listened to by many, many people. So in, in the spirit of what's in it for them, what did I not ask you that I should have? Or any final last words. And then I would love to do a part two with you.

Well, you know, what is it that everybody wants in life and is. They want to be financially well off, they want to be financially free, financially independent. Because other than that, people think and worry about money all the time. Remember when we were younger and we just sweated bullets about money all the time, we just never had enough. We always had bills to pay. And. And so only when we pass the point where we now have enough money, that we don't worry about money. Can you really start to enjoy life? Yeah, I would say that probably 90% at least. Of all the people that will come to you and read and listen, our people, they worry about money, right? How much money they've got. I'll tell you just a little side thing, which when I was. I was single until I was 35, and, and I read a whole lot about marriages and couples and relationships and so on. And one of the things that I read over and over, which you've read over and over, is how many women, their husbands die and the women don't know anything about the finances of the family and they find out they don't have any money and, and they, they have to withdraw and live at a small rented place. They. They have to live with their, their family, their grown children and so on and so forth. So one of the things I decided before I ever got married is that, by gum, one of my goals was good to be sure that if ever anything happened to me, my wife would be financially independent for the rest of her life. She'd never have to worry about money. That's one of my major goals. And I wrote it down and I made a plan and I achieved. Took many years. I made sure my kids never wanted for anything and, and that my wife would be financially independent. And that's one of the things that makes me really happy. What makes you happy is I know that I have taken care of the most important person in my life. And my wife is the most important person of my life. And I made it very clear to her and to my children that this was a big focus in my life. I never worried about myself. You and I have had so many difficulties and challenges that nothing can really stop us. I mean, I'm 78 years old and if I lost all the money I have in the world, I go out and get another job. I figure it out. But I just wanted to be sure that my wife would be okay. And she is.

No, so that, that alone, I would say that. So we'll put a button on that because that is great advice is to figure out the most important person in your life, married or husband, wife, friend, mother, brother, sister, you know, whoever that you, you actually take care because, you know, what's in it for them is take care of the people that are most important for you. Like the purpose of my book and is to be a roadmap for how to take the givers of the world and have them be better protected, better held for better boundary Givers in the world right now, with all of the craziness that has happened pre and post pandemic, and all of the leadership in the world right now, that isn't really leadership. There's so much of it that is just misleading. The world needs givers right now. The world needs people that are responsible. The world needs people that, that, that show up with not only asking the question, what's in it for them? But demonstrating it. And so you're, you're, you're an amazing human, Brian. You're a dear friend. I love you. I love what you've done in the world, and I love how you're. You will be one of these people hundreds of years from now. People will be reading Brian Tracy's work, listening to Brian Tracy, watching Brian Tracy, and you will continue. You've, you've really etched a permanent place in just helping humanity. And I, and I hate the fact that I have to jump on another call right now.

It's not you.

You're.

It's.

It's me. I have to hop on another session to be the responsible person that I am. But I look forward to speaking with you again. And I just greatly, greatly appreciate you taking the time to share the enormous knowledge you have.

Well, thank you. I'll let you go. You and I, the door is always open both ways for you and I always will be. From the first time we met many years ago. And it's a long time, 30, 40 years. One thing that I would recommend is that you recommend my book, no Excuses. Because if you believe, as I do, that accepting responsibility is the most important thing that you can do and it lets go of everything, well, please read the book. I think you will love it. But your time and your life is extraordinarily valuable. And if you can save time by giving people your best ideas in a book form and let them read it and let them take notes rather than you spending the hours of your life trying to help them. Always play the tennis. Table tennis. You hit it over, they hit it back, you hit it over. But no Excuses is the same. The book that you would like to read is a book that you would like to give to people. It's a book that you'd like to have when you were young. Because it takes people years and years and years to figure out that the key to success is say, I am responsible. I am responsible. And that is your ability to respond effectively to the ups and downs of life.

What is yoga? And anyone here that we. By the way, let me just say this because I do want to hear your definition of yoga. You do describe in the book, you go quite depth and your teachers and all that stuff. And you know, I know.

Vanas Vinyasa.

Vinyasa, which means flow.

Yeah.

Which anyway that you go. There's like seven of them or something. How many different of the. You know. So I never. I never learn any of the terminology.

Yeah.

I just like shit like downward dog and all that.

You don't need to. Yeah, no, it's better than I've never.

And it's funny because I've heard it a thousand. I mean, I've done. I have to have done a couple thousand, you know, yoga classes in my life. But it's funny, you know, we all have different reasons to come to it. But how many of you here just listening to this, it's piqued your interest where you're like, I want to do yoga. Yeah, okay, good. That's enough to make a difference.

The rest of you haven't really talked much about yoga.

What's that?

Yeah, we haven't even talked that much about yoga.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, what.

What is it?

Why do it?

You know, I think that in contrast to the world we all live in and the world is in trouble, you know, it's like inhumanity at a human humanity level. And I think that we live in a life, we live in a world. And as entrepreneurs, we're all about creating. So creation, which is in the world of action. And then to spend time on what I like to call the creature. There's creation and then there's the creature that fulfills, takes the actions, does the thinking, does the. And sometimes we ignore the creature. All the different aspects of body, mind, being spiritually as well. And it's. And then there's. So there's, yeah, creation, there's creature spending more time on creature, if that's what's needed. Because we get so lost in that world of creating, doing, doing, busy, busy, you know, all of that. The creature suffers. But what I've learned anyhow and what I teach people is that there's like, well, what's behind the creature? Like, what's driving the. You know, what's the creator? There's creator, there's creature, there's creation. Yeah. And so to get clear on your source of strength, the source of your strength could call that what's your creator? Or for me, it's like, I'm co creator. If it just stops it myself, itself, then I'm okay, I'm creator and I create and Creature and creation and with others. But as co creator, that includes, I mean for me, God and my calling, I find vision, vision and calling as a part of co creating. And the creature is the instrument and a lot of us. So our calling, like I kind of, as I was sharing earlier, I just pointed to my calling. But I think that if for entrepreneurs, people in this room, I think to be clear on what is your calling? Because I think for me, I know my calling is my source of strength in running programs and working with thousands. We had a pre pandemic, we had 100,000 people a week coming through our platforms, our programs, all brick and mortar globally. And there's a lot of people. But to be clear in my calling as a source of strength and then as leader, you have to lead yourself. That includes body and yoga practice as you kind of pointing to. It's a very powerful way to like physically to be embodied, you know, to be embodied and to know what's going on in your body. You know, I know you're pretty trained, so you can look around the room. Like I can look around the room and you know, we're all walking autobiographies. You can tell a lot by people by just looking at the creature. You can see what's etched on their face, you know, fear or uncertainty or ease, equanimity, calm. It's like creature, you know, we see it all but to be present to one's own development. But here's what I want to say about calling. Just real quick. I don't want to go on a talk too long, but I'll say this. There's something about a return. So yoga to me, you know, a returning back. I think our calling is something like when I shared about forgiveness, like with my parents, right there was my calling, like when I forgave my dad and something lifted off of me and I, and I love my mom in that moment, like I was five years old again. Like I literally felt like I was five years. Like I adored my mom and my mom adored me. And it allowed for that. But that was a return. Like it was a revolution. My second book is based on this principle. It's called 40 Days to Personal Revolution. But revolution is a return. It's a full circle, right? You go all the way around, you come all the way back to. Like in the Bible it says we cannot enter the kingdom of heaven unless we come back to the ways of a little child. But I think as children we kind of have this possibility about us, this limited, unlimited sense of possibility. Like Anything's possible. And we come back to that through a revolution. And what's at the center of that circle is our calling, is our source of strength. Let me just say this. It's a universe. So in yoga, they say there's om, there's a vibrational sound at the center, and there's light and there's motion, and then there's order. So, and if you, if you have motion without order, there's chaos. But we're in motion. That's. We're in creation, doing. We're in motion. So we. We need to put in order. And order is discipline. You know, you put in the discipline, so it's like you're speaking to how many yoga classes that. Or doing your cold soaps or your. That's a discipline that brings order to the motion, and you're at the source of that and your calling, your vision. The calling is so yoga practice. And for me, meditation is a key practice. And coming back to that source of strength, that universe, that one truth, one law, one song kind of thing, I don't know if that's a lot, but.

No, no. Well, here's how I interpret it. I was sitting there thinking, how many times have I done yoga? Because I said, a thousand, two thousand times. And I'm thinking, have I really done it that much? There was one year where I. I had two yoga instructors that would come two to three times a week. They would rotate, one would do two weeks. And I did that for a couple years straight at my office. And everyone on my team that wanted to contribute, that was probably around 2000, and, I don't know, maybe 2007, 2008, and did a boatload of yoga. And I would do yoga outside of those three times a week that they would come to the office and I would go in and I would go out, I would dip. And I'll tell you, my life just works better when I do it. And if I'm really stressed out or really angst out or really overwhelmed, nothing helps with the overwhelm than just freaking doing it. And the interesting thing is the time that I feel least like doing it is the time, you know, I'm most needed.

Right.

And you're always left feeling the best, right?

Totally.

After those times.

Yeah. And a lot of you, you know, you have been going to war, metaphorically, in your businesses and the stuff you have to deal with. And I just want to do whatever I can to share my perspective, our perspective. How many people have been through. How many people have you trained?

Yeah, I Don't. I don't know a lot.

I mean, there's millions of people have gone through Baptiste yoga classes. Yeah, yeah.

And yeah, pre pandemic, we had. I mean, we're able to measure through. We had 200 brick and mortar studios locations and we had 100,000 people a week coming through those, but those are the ones that we could measure. It gets much kind of bigger than. Was bigger than that.

Yeah.

So, I mean, you built this business out of it. But the thing is, it's so interesting. You just, you learn marketing, you know, you did, and you were able to get the messaging out. And it's one thing where if you have good stuff in the world and you're an expert, that's one thing, but the ability to put it out there and do it is another. And I'll tell you, you know, building all of this, I think, I think if you didn't have the practice, you'd probably kind of go nuts along the way because there has to be two sides to things, you know, when someone's all about physical stuff and health. I mean, I know a lot of really broke, amazing athletes, and I know a lot of very unhealthy, very stressed out, rich, wealthy entrepreneurs. And so the beauty of this is this doesn't take a lot of time. It actually takes no time. It actually creates time. And I think one of the biggest resistance for people, you know, like doing an ice bath or going to meditate or all that, Gary Halbert, who I learned marketing from originally, he was crazy. He had this saying and I believed it like gospel for so many years. And he said, you'll accomplish more through movement than you will through meditation. And then when I got trained in meditation, I realized, you know, sometimes you can accomplish a lot more through meditation than you can through movement. And then it occurred to me, me that that's what yoga is. Yoga is moving meditation. So why the fuck not do both? You know, it is. It's moving meditation and you get into your body and when I cannot figure out how to make decisions if I can just get my ass on the mat, it works itself out.

It just does.

A friend of mine, a friend, but on that point, a buddy of mine, his name is Mark Benioff, he built, built Salesforce.

Tony Robbins accidentally sent me and him an email one day. He had the wrong, I think either the wrong Joe or the wrong Mark. And that's kind of how I got introduced to him. It was funny.

Yeah. Yeah.

Tony sends some weird emails once in.

A while, I guess, right? Mark Told me a cool story though. He said that when he first started the company like he worked for himself and maybe had like one employee. But he said he, he would go to yoga class every morning, 7am in San Francisco and then he would drive down to wherever his offices were in Silicon Valley. So he'd do a 90 minute class in the morning, he'd go work and then he would come back and do like a 7:30 class. And he said he literally. And he would do that five or six days a week. And he said he literally worked out his entire company every day. All the problems, all the things he was dealing with, he would get on, you know, that mat in that sweaty room and he would literally work out and solve his problems and how to grow, you know, and all that. And I was like, I came to learn partly of why I was so attracted to yoga practice was I have adhd. Some of these conversations around that were powerful for me but that I learned can establish aesthetically and I learned by doing. I just do. I was a terrible, like in school, I just couldn't sit still and all that. So. And that when those kind of stories, like when Mark shared that with me, I'm like, that's exactly how I work so much of my life and result. And that's where, when I say it's important for everyone, I think anyhow to locate your source of strength because that's what, that's a place where you can tap in if you're more physically oriented too. But to get in your body and move and breathe and locate your center and things get worked out. Energy moves, things get, you know, the faucet turns on energetically and creatively and it's amazing how much can get just sorted out and you're taking care of your. The creature.

Yeah.

Awesome.

Yeah.

So let me say this.

And you don't need to do a lot by the way. I just want to throw that in like if you do 20 minutes a day, 30 minutes a day. Yeah. And then maybe two or three times a week, do you know, an hour or 90 minutes. But if you do that consistently, just try that for a month, see what happens.

I was going to ask you about the forgiveness.

Yeah, that's a good note to end on. Forgiveness is such a tough space because, you know, a lot of the psychological literature describes forgiveness as sort of a major mental illness antidote. Mental health antidote.

Right.

You can get, you will feel better if you forgive and you'll feel lighter and all kinds of peace and reconciliation work and all of that is written around forgiveness. Here's the rub. In the west, we like to put people, people on a schedule, like, hurry up, forgive, forgive. Everything's going to be so much easier if you just forgive your dad. And can we just get over this? No, we cannot put these human processes on a schedule. To me, forgiveness is sort of a two part kind of a process. There's a letting go piece and there's forgiving. Forgiving is a much higher order concept because it involves no longer feeling resentful about what that person did to you. And you know what? Some people are never going to get there. I work with many, like I said, survivors of child sexual abuse. And they say to me, I don't want to forgive the person who did this to me. And they've gone from therapist to therapist that say, you need to forgive. And I said, fuck them, you do not need to forgive the person who did this to you. I want you to let this go because you're carrying this weight. You're making that more of your heavy soul weight. Can we help you put it down and no longer take responsibility for what happened to you and let you move forward, but you don't have to forgive. Forgiveness is very much something we try to sell in the West. It's very much built into religion. But here's the problem with forgiveness. For a narcissist, forgiveness is permission. They're like, this is cool, I did, I cheated on you and you're great. That's permission to do that again. Rarely, sadly, does a narcissist integrate forgiveness as someone doing the divine for them. If I did something bad and someone forgave me, I'd be like, oh my God, thank you. And I mean, you would forever monitor, never to make that misstep again, but for all the couples, especially couples. But I've also seen this happen in professional consultations I've done when the narcissist got forgiven, nine times out of ten, they went out and committed the same transgression again, thinking she forgave me before he forgave me before he or she is going to forgive me again. And then what it does is it screws up your ability to forgive even in the healthy parts of your life. Because. Because now that incredibly, what I consider honestly divine space has been abused. So I think forgiveness is personal. It doesn't always happen. And for me, the real goal is letting go. And if you can get to the letting go, which is really a sense of, I am no longer going to carry this burden around. But, you know, What? I do feel resentful because you changed my life in a permanent way. And I'm not okay with this change. I feel different, and I don't want to feel this. And you made my fucking life a little more unsafe. So, no, I don't forgive you. My practice is very focused on giving people enough giving. Let some people come around. And sometimes the best I hope for is letting it go with indifference. They see the cheater on the street ten years later, or they even see the abuser on the street 10 years later. And like, you know what? I didn't feel a thing. And that's when they feel empowered. And then it doesn't even matter. Forgiveness becomes almost irrelevant.

Love to. I'd love to get your take on when someone has to initiate a breakup. How, you know, people. You hear the word, you know, conscious uncoupling and stuff. But some people can break up with someone and leave a lot of unnecessary devastation in the wake. And I'd like to hear, you know, your take on that, Amy. And I'd also like to hear what Chris would say to that.

Yeah, I mean, I think that when breakups happen, whether you're the one doing it or you're the one receiving it, you're still going to go through your stages of separation and grief. And, you know, of course, this might sound super simple, but getting to a state of compassion before you have that conversation is super important. Because what I see often is ghosting or, you know, a text message breakup after dating someone for years. And really, when you look at why people react like that, it goes down to childhood. Like, how did they react to confrontation? How did they react to uncomfortable emotions when they were a kid, did they withdraw? Did they. Were they scolded for having those emotions? So sometimes they bring those patterns in with them and they break up in a way that doesn't have compassion. And so, unfortunately, as much as you want to be friends with a person that you're having a breakup with, you need time for those neural pathways to prune away. Because when you're with someone, you have neural pathways that have been wired together. So I say 60 days of no contact. That means no scrolling their Instagram feed, no looking at text messages, no calling them up, and, you know, getting angry because you're still getting that emotional charge. You're still getting that hit, and that keeps you hooked and attached. And even if you think that you're doing the kind thing by being their friend, it's actually the more selfish thing to do.

Yeah, that's no that's, that's very. So, Amy, if you could put a link for people to get your book, I would, I imagine just with what's going on in the pandemic, that there's a lot of people right now that could probably benefit from her book. And I think it'd be kind of cool to connect you and Chris together. I'd love to hear a whole, I'd love to hear a longer conversation with Chris and Amy just talking about a relationship, because this is all negotiation. That's at least the way I look at it. Chris, what would you say to any, any negotiation methods for getting in and out of relationships?

Well, you know, I really like what she said in so many ways, particularly about the post event, if you will, behavior and what's best for both you and both of them. And, you know, I, I, I've had relationships that didn't work out. You know, I'm a human being. The exits, when I was clear and I was nice, you know, I never want, I don't want anybody to be in doubt as to why I'm out and they're not. And, but that doesn't mean you got to be a jerk about it. You know, don't, don't try to save, when you say you're trying to save them, you're really trying to save yourself. And you know, people, people need, don't, don't let it linger. You know, something that has to, you can't, you can't, you can't cut somebody's head off over four or five, six interactions. You know, you gotta, you gotta rip the band aid off, you gotta chop that, whatever it is for you, but that doesn't mean you got to be cruel about it. And you know, when, when I, when I decided that my previous marriage wasn't working, I walked in, I said, you know, I want a divorce. I'd be happy to talk it through with you. I'm not going to say anything to you that you haven't heard already. She wanted to hear it when I got done. She said, you're right, there's nothing there that you haven't already said. And then that was it. So, you know, who you, who you trying to spare? A lot of times, and I don't know if Amy said it exactly like this, word for word, but I know the thought was there. You know, who are you trying to spare? You say you're trying to spare them, but you're probably trying to spare yourself. In point of fact, you got to be direct, but you don't got to be mean about it. And then when it's done, it's done. And what's best for both of you to heal afterwards. I loved what she said. I loved it.

Let's talk about leverage and productivity. Okay, Productivity would be maximum results, least amount of time. Leverage is maximum results, least amount of effort. Okay, to go to your point. So to highly leverage yourself in business or in life has to do with putting your time, attention, money, effort and energy into people that appreciate it, people.

That are deserving of it, and not.

Wasting it on losers or takers. So Ned Hallowell says vitamin C is what we need a lot of and what he refers to as vitamin Connect.

I love that quote. We do need more connection and it's hard for anyone to argue with that given the results of two years of removing connection by locking people in their houses. And the problem is, and this is something that was really a big thing for me, I was really good at feeling lonely and excited, crowded room. And many, many people are good at that. The number of close friends that people report having now is at an all time low and it's been going down for the last 30 years. So people feel like they don't even know how to make a single friendship, much less do the kind of thing you do where you have lots of friends and these are actually real friends and you have lots of people you help who are kind of in your sphere but aren't friends. But I've seen you, I've known you for a decade now and I watch how you operate and pretty damned impressive to be honest. So you went out and you consciously learned how to make friends, how to build a community, how to build connection. And then you went to the trouble of writing the book what's in it for them? Which is awesome. But here's the question. I sat down with you and my former wife over dinner right after you'd had a really big betrayal with someone in your business. And I'm not going to go into anything detail. You know what I'm talking about, right? And you were genuinely hurt. I've never seen you like that. Just sad and just disheartened. And it's pretty easy to get bitter and to get angry and just sort of f this and to have that vibe. How long did it take you to work through that?

Well, there's definitely still scar tissue from it because when you have it's another form of rape when someone betrayed, you know, it's when someone does something non consensually and they take from You. And when it's someone that you know and someone that you have helped tremendously, that could look you in the eyes and tell you that they love you and that they care about you while they're doing all this devious stuff behind. Yeah, it's really. I would be lying if I didn't say it's not hard to, to deal with that or to process that, especially if you can't even fathom doing that sort of thing to someone else. But you can see how, you know, how does someone do it. That required me to talk to a lot of friends. I did not realize how my years in recovery would be helpful for that sort of stuff. I also had to spend a lot of time doing a lot of yoga and doing a lot of breathing and doing my best to meditate. So sometimes when I just wanted to jump out of my skin. And there's the process, I did a deep dive and study narcissists.

You know, I'm working on a book about them now.

Good.

I had a similar experience after that just recently.

So.

Yeah.

And I will say, you know Dr. Ramani Devosala, who's one of the top narcissist experts in the world. I've done a couple interviews with her. She's great, she's written some great books and I have an awesome interview with her online. You know, that's something that, you know is everyone's on the narcissist bandwagon too. So some people are fetishizing the whole narcissist thing. But there we live in a culture right now that is with social media where, you know, I mean, think about being an influencer. You know, I want to be an influencer.

It's like, why would you want that?

What's that?

Why would you want that?

Well, ask. Ask the majority of young people that want to be an influencer because it's been made out. And look, when I was young, if I was a teenager, low self esteem, low self worth, like I'd want to be famous, I'd want people to admire me. I mean, to this day, I still do. I mean, I'd be lying if I didn't say that.

Seriously.

Well, the ego part of every one of us wants to be liked. But when I took a one year sabbatical last year, part of the things that I went into it with is I wanted to smoke out as much part of me that needed external validation to feel I was useful as a human or valuable as a human. And I did. I'm just not going to Go. I'm not going to even look at social media. I didn't. And to this day I don't have it on my. I have a backup phone that has the stuff, but I don't have it on my main phone. I have no social media on my main phone because I found not being on social media for me, not for everyone, I can only speak for my own life, was more inspirational to me than reading inspirational quotes on social media. But we live in a culture right now where it is just. It's being framed that being famous or being an influencer. So I will say to people that, you know, there's thought leaders, like any idiot can come up with a thought. I like result leaders, you know, I like people that have the ability to produce the results. So that's what's impressive to me. And yeah, I mean, you know that.

That fat picture I showed you when we were first sitting down before we.

Started rolling you, when you were 22 years.

22. That was the proof for Entrepreneur magazine. So I'm 22, I'm like, dude, I started reading Entrepreneur when I was 12 or 13 and now I'm in it. I'm 22, it's going to change everything. And after a week, I'm really not happier. And I lost the I want to be famous thing. Before I started Bulletproof and all this stuff, I pretty much erased my digital identity because I'm a computer hacker.

Right.

I was very happy with that. And then I said, well, I'll do.

It, but its work.

And I've never sought it for its own sake. I've only sought it if it was necessary to do something that I thought was meaningful. But you're right. So people do seek out fame because they think it's going to make them happy. And it used to be money and they still seek out money because it's going to make them happy. But you've got several books and a good amount of visibility and you're financially successful and all. What percentage of your happiness comes from those?

Well, I mean, I get more joy really as a human in the middle of a really kind of just challenging yoga class than I do putting together most business deals from a feeling of real connection. The physical stuff is always a deeper connection because most of it is fleeting. Here's what I would say about fame, though. I don't like the idea of fame because I know a lot of very famous people and I see what it can actually do to someone depending on their relationship with it. Meaning if you're like our Friend Dan Sullivan says, if you're pursuing growth over status, I think you'll find a lot more fulfillment and a lot more value. But if you're status seeking, social ladder climbing, trying to look famous, trying to play the part, but deep down inside, you're doing that to cover up or not even look at insecurities or stuff like you haven't done the work, then it will kind of fool you. And I've really worked hard. Don't believe your own pr, because if you are doing good stuff in the world, people should be saying glowing things. All people say, oh my God, I got this amazing testimonial about my product or my service and it's like, that's what you should do. Like, if, unless you're putting crap out into the world, people should be saying glowing things about it. And if you're selling anything for a company you work for or for your own business and you're not getting that sort of feedback, you really need to take a look at what the hell you're selling.

People should say amazing things.

If you're really selling something amazing. If you're selling mediocre stuff or crap in the box and you kid someone into thinking, oh my God, it's the most amazing thing ever, I mean, you kind of know, I mean, like karmically we know if we're doing good in the world or we're not. I think that, you know, am I 100% sure not? You know, people can kid themselves. And so the fame, the challenge with fame is, and I'll say it this way, so Glenn Morshauer is a friend of mine who's an actor and we were having. I'll just tell you the story. This is probably back in 2010, 2009, 2010, we were both speaking at an event in Las Vegas. And I spoke first, he spoke after me, and then we went to lunch and we had a four hour lunch. And he, he is an actor. If you look him up online, he's played in more military roles than any, almost any actor alive right now. And most people recognize him. He's been in the Transformer movies. He was in every episode of the show. He's a famous guy, 24, but he wasn't like an A actor. He's like, you know, but he's a pretty well known actor, smart guy. And he was on every episode of 24. And the only other actor was the main actor. It was Kiefer Sutherland. And at the time, Kiefer Sutherland was on the COVID of like National Enquirer People magazine. You know, there was less social media back then than there is today. With his shirt off, drunk in front of the Viper Room in la, he.

Should have run for president. After that.

He still can. That's funny.

As Tim mentioned, my title of my talk is, you are the doctor of the future, and I'm going to show you six ways that you can activate your inner healer. This is going to be powerful information that you're going to be able to apply immediately. Did you know that you can reverse aging on demand? Did you know that you can rebalance your hormones in minutes, not in months? And did you know you can heal every cell, organ, tissue and system in your body simultaneously? In fact, that's the only way that you can heal them is in unison altogether. I know it sounds hard to believe, but health doesn't have to be complicated, overwhelming, or expensive to get rapid, safe and permanent results. And I know it sounds crazy, because we've heard it takes forever, costs lots of money, and you must take tons of supplements. Today, I'm going to show you how to get even better results in less time while improving your health like never before. And pay attention, because what you'll learn today is going to be powerful. And you'll learn how Faizal lost 19 pounds and no longer has bloating or hot flashes in six weeks. She literally looks like her daughter in this picture because of the transformation that took place. You'll learn how Sook lost 66.2 pounds, got off of his diabetes and blood pressure medications in 10 weeks. You'll learn how Michael stopped taking 10 Tylenol per day, lost 58.4 pounds, all in 10 weeks, all without supplements, lab testing, or intense exercise, as Tim mentioned. My name is Sachin Patel, is my lovely wife Deepa. And the reason I live each and every day to the fullest is my son, Devin, who's 11 now. So my goal is to leave a better future for him and all of your children and grandchildren. My story starts in 1997, when my girlfriend at the time's friend called me skinny. And looking back, I was actually at a healthy weight. But these words scarred me and led me on this downward spiral of just doing whatever it took to gain as much weight as I possibly could so I'd never be called heavy. I went from 140 pounds or so all the way up to 185 pounds. And my goal was to get to 200 because I never wanted to hear those words ever again. At age 32, after I got married. You can see A picture of me. I was about 185 pounds. And now this is me at age 44, totally transformed. And in fact, based on recent blood work I had, I've reversed my biological age by about four years. So this is entirely possible for me and therefore entirely possible for you. I'm going to share this formula today. Functional medicine, positive mindset, wearable technology and self love truly transformed my life. And that's why I'm going to share this with you today. I've written a book called Perfect Practice. I have a podcast by the same name. I'm an award winning clinician. We run an award winning business. We've built orphanages, schools and food banks. And I'm also an award winning father and soon to be the CEO of Canada's first publicly traded longevity company. Now in the next few minutes, I want to show you a revolutionary approach that we've spent the last three years developing. So pay close attention because this literally could change everything for you. But more importantly, it could change everything for someone that you love and deeply care about. I'm going to share with you the six rights to activate your inner healer so that you can create sustainable health practices, rapid, measurable changes and a living legacy of health. Most importantly, I'm going to show you how you can become your own best doctor. This is the trillion dollar secret that Tim mentioned. And all this so that you can finally get to the root cause of what ails you and reverse any condition on demand. You can reduce the risk of hospitalization from COVID Right now, the top five reasons for Covid hospitalization are 100% preventable and 100% reversible. Using what I'm going to share with you today and you can better leverage your time, money and efforts. And easily, depending on how old you are, add one to 25 quality years to your life. A fun fact is if you lived 1% longer, that'd be about 280 days. And I know we all know someone who lived an extra 280 days so they could be around a little bit longer so we can give them one more hug or one more kiss or have one more conversation and at some point that will be us. And I want to show you how to extend your life in a proven way starting today. So I know you're probably thinking, I've tried everything. Being healthy is hard. I've already spent so much money and nothing seems to work. Getting healthy takes years. I don't want to take any more supplements. You should see the garbage bags that people bring into our office. I've spent thousands on testing. I don't want to starve myself. I don't want to take drugs or hormone replacement medications. My body's been like this for years and it won't budge. We worked with over 5,000 clients and we hear almost all of these things on a weekly basis. But most importantly, people think being healthy is expensive. And maybe this might be hitting home for some of you, but some of you might be in a position where you might think that one more program and my spouse is going to kill me. So I want you to suspend all your limiting beliefs and hear me out. If you're ready to become the most productive, creative, energetic and healthy version of you, then let's go through these six rights. But sit back and enjoy. I've actually created an extended guide of what I'm going to share with you that goes into more detail so you don't have to write anything down. Number one, mind. Right. So why do we need to get our mind right? Well, first of all, our mind is a five dimensional printer. It prints our reality, our most persistent thought. Thoughts become our reality. Where the mind goes, the body follows. And we all know that thoughts become things. Some tips to get your mind right. One is to find your community. So being in Genius Network helps us shift every single month that we connect into the right mindset. You want to optimize your environment because we know, as Benjamin Hardy would say, that willpower doesn't work and we have to a be sold on ourselves before we can be sold on anything else. I want you to stop watching the news, especially right now, mindfulness meditation and spend more time in nature. These are ways that you can optimize your mindset. Number two, I want you to breathe right. This is very overlooked low hanging fruit. So why breathe right? Well, first of all, it normalizes your blood pressure, which is the number one cause of the hospitalization right now. Number two, it reduces the stress response. So we can actually modulate the stress response not just based on how we think, but actually how we breathe. It also improves lymphatic drainage. Almost all disease starts in the body sewage system, which is the lymphatic system. It also enhances creativity. Believe it or not, breathing correctly improves creativity. You will also wake up more refreshed. And a few tips to breathe right. One is you want to have proper oral posture. Your tongue should be in the correct position in your mouth in order to optimize your breathing. Three quarters of the tongue should be at the roof of the mouth with the Tip of the tongue just behind the front teeth, gently positioned. Your tongue is actually a postural muscle. It will relax the muscles in the back of your neck and shoulders because it actually holds the front of your head up so that positioning of the tongue will force you to breathe through your nose. Nasal breathing has many countless benefits, which you'll learn more about in the videos I'm going to send to you. And one way to ensure that you breathe through the nose is by taping your mouth closed at night. This might sound strange or might sound really weird, but trust me, it works. It can be transformational. We have so much data and evidence to prove this. Number three is I want you to light right. What does that mean? Why should we light right? Well, we get deeper sleep when we expose ourselves to the right type of lighting. It lowers our cortisol. Believe it or not, artificial lighting at certain color temperatures will raise our cortisol. It increases dopamine when we get sunlight, especially in the morning, when we improve our immune health by things like vitamin D production and also by enhancing melatonin production. It also helps us balance our hormones. And I'll show you in just a moment how to do that. So here's a diagram that shows the rhythm of melatonin and cortisol. So many of us think of melatonin and we think of a sleep hormone. In fact, melatonin is your most important immunomodulating hormone. So if you want to improve immune function, you want to increase melatonin production, not just take it, but you want to improve production. And the way we improve melatonin production is by lowering cortisol, but also by exposing ourselves to complete or as much darkness as possible. And natural lighting, such as candle lighting, red lighting, or even campfires will not decrease melatonin production. Artificial lighting and overhead lighting will decrease it by up to 40%. Cortisol is another hormone that's driven by the rising and setting of the sun. Cortisol is highest in the morning, and so getting sunlight in the morning is so important to jumpstart our body. And sunlight in the morning also increases dopamine. So you want to get morning sunlight. Turn off overhead lighting in the evening after the sun goes down and use up lighting instead. Use red bulbs in the evening and wear blue and green blockers after sunset. And you could definitely connect with Dave Asprey on this. Number four is move right. Why move right? Better mood, improves lymphatic drainage, enhances creativity, better balance, fewer injuries, and a deeper appreciation of our physical body. We were meant to move. You can ask Whitney Jones how well we were meant to move. Joyful movement is what you want to do. You want to pick activities that you love doing. This morning my wife and I went on a beautiful bike ride because I love this time of year and we just spent time in nature, breathing in the fresh air, soaking in the sun. You want to stack activities with being in the sun and you want to move throughout the day. So move every time we have a break. Get up and move around and tune into your breath. You're only as good as your breath. Just like when you exercise, you're only as good as your form. However, when you move, you're only really as good as how well you're breathing, so make sure you're breathing correctly. Number five Sleep Right why sleep right? Better cognition, creativity, fewer cravings, less belly fat, more energy, better detox and deeper healing. When you don't sleep right, you will feel hungry all the time and you will never feel satisfied thanks to two hormones, ghrelin and leptin. So sleeping well will curb your appetites and you'll feel more satiated. Sleep Tips so first of all, know your chronotype. You can check out Michael Bruce's book the Power of When. Be Consistent with youh Sleep and Wake Cycle. No light or food. Two to three hours before bed. You could even incorporate the lights out challenge. No lighting after the sun goes down and watch your sleep transform in just a day or two. Sleep in complete darkness in a cool room and get an aura ring to track your actual sleep metrics so you can see if your most powerful healing tool sleeping, is actually getting giving you the healing powers that it needs. Number six really quick Digest Better immune health. Improve nutrient absorption. Less need for supplements, Less chronic inflammation. You'll eat the right amount and no more stinky farts. Digestion Tips choose your food, your feelings, and the timing of your meals appropriately. Chew each bite, chill out, cherish each meal. Check your stool daily and annually. This will be transformational for your overall health. So in review the six rights mind right? Breathe right. Light right. Move right. Sleep right. Digest right so you can age like this beautiful human being that we all love and care about, Mr. Joel Weldon. And you could be skiing and you could be doing all the fun things that life has to offer at any age. I promise you that these six rights will never steer you wrong and they are available to you in this very moment and from this very moment forward. These are life skills that will last you a lifetime. My gift to you and Eunice and the team will share this with you is a guide that goes deeper into each of these topics so that you can dive in and learn more and share with your family. I invite you all to love yourself back to life. I love you. And here's to your highest, happiest, and wholest healing. Thank you.

Okay.

I hope you found that video awesome and useful. So if you want to get a free copy of my book, I want you to click here. And if you want to watch some more videos that will be useful and awesome, click here. Go ahead.

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Do it now.

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Thank you.

Watch them.