How to Function With ADHD: The Entrepreneurial Mind | Ned Hallowell

Our next presenter, real dear friend of mine. I've known him for many years. I first read his book Crazy Busy and it changed my life and how I thought about technology and about the world. Overwork, overstretched and about to snap. Strategies for coping in a world gone ad. As an add, Ned has been on Oprah multiple times. I mean, every talk show, Dr. Phil, I mean, you name it, Good Morning America. I mean, he's awesome. He's sold more books on the subject of ADD ADHD than any psychiatrist, any author alive. His treatment protocols are used in clinics.

All over the world.

I constantly meet people that tell me, you know, he changed my life, he saved my life. My kids, you know, were completely, you know, we were lost. We didn't know what to do until we came across Ned and his work. He's a Harvard trained psychiatrist, New York Times best selling author. He is considered the world's leading authority on ADD ADHD. He's been featured on, like I said, Oprah, Dr. Oz 20 20, Good Morning America, New York Times, Newsweek, Time Magazine. He's going to talk about the mind of the entrepreneur, what we love, what to watch out for. He spoke last year, blew people away. Everything that I hear him talk about is applicable. And I think most of you in your achievement, many of you are just absolutely, you think you're batshit crazy and many of you are. Gary Halbert used to say the world advances on the backs of its neurot and I think there's a lot of truth to that. But he knows what to do and how to take the entrepreneurial mind and help make it more effective and certainly have a much better, deeper belief and understanding of yourself. And so it's with great pleasure that I introduce my dear friend, Mr. Dr. Edward Hollowell. You can call him Ned.

Thank you, George. Thank you. Thank you so much. Well, what a spectacular group. And thank you, Joe. Let's give it up for Joe and Eunice. You know, he pretends to be such a cynic and a wise guy, but in fact, Joe is probably the most generous person I've ever met and certainly one of the most creative. And just what he's doing here, it's artistry, you know, he's an artist of connecting people, particularly weird and different people, you know, and he's able to bring people together who have enormous egos or tiny egos. He's able to bring people together who otherwise wouldn't get along and help them to get along. And he and his group, I think are doing the work that the world really Needs right now, really needs right now. All about creating connection, particularly high powered connection that will benefit the world. The world is in not wonderful condition in many ways, and yet it's saturated with abundance, as Peter says, in other ways. And Joe and all of you are the ones who are going to usher in the abundance and minimize the damage and destruction. So I'm honored and pleased to join you today and truly feel the greatest thing I'll get out of today is just absorbing the energy that you all have filled this room with. Well, Joe was saying I have specialized my career in add. Essentially that means I have been specializing in bringing psychological insight and assistance to entrepreneurs. I think we should rename ADD the Entrepreneurial Trait. And Dan Sullivan and I got together around this and have been making friends around this notion. Dan has been working with entrepreneurs for 30 years. I've been working with ADD for years. 30, 30 years. And we discovered we're working with the same people. And I thoroughly abhor the term attention deficit disorder, so I'd just soon throw that in the dustbin and rename it the Entrepreneurial Trait. And because I'll bet you 90% of you have it, and it's really because of it that you're achieving in the remarkable and interesting ways that you are. But it also may be holding you back in certain ways. And what I thought I'd do is bring you into what I've learned about the mind of the entrepreneur, point out the way things ought to go, and then point out some of the most common ways that entrepreneurs sabotage themselves. And I want to begin with a story from ancient Baghdad. One day, a master sends his servant into the marketplace to get some provisions. And while the servant is there, he sees Death across the marketplace, and he's captivated by Death. And then Death turns his way and makes a menacing gesture which completely freaks the servant out. And he goes running home as fast as he can run home. And he falls to his knees in front of his master and says, master, please, you've got to let me take your horse. I've got to get out of this area. Let me take your horse. And I'm going to gallop as fast as I possibly can to Samarra, which is 75 miles away. I'm terrified that Death will find me otherwise. And the master says, well, by all means, you feel free to take my horse. You've been a good and loyal servant, of course, take my horse and come back when Death has moved on. So the servant gallops off to Samara. The master is curious and so he goes to the marketplace to see what he can see, and he looks around, and sure enough, he sees Death. Well, he's brave. And he walks up to Death, says, I understand you saw my servant. And Death says, yes. And the master says, and I understand you made a menacing gesture toward my servant. Why did you do that? And Death said, oh, that was not a menacing gesture. It was simply a gesture of alarm and surprise. I didn't expect to see him here because I have an appointment with him tonight in Samarra. And it is amazing to me how many people I encounter in my life as well as my work, who are galloping as fast as they can in precisely the wrong direction, believing that they're heading toward their salvation, when in fact they're heading toward their destruction. One of the unique opportunities I get is to tell people that that's what they're doing. I often think I'm sort of like the fool in classical drama. You know, kings would hire fools to whisper in their ear the stuff they didn't want to hear. It was a dangerous job because sometimes they'd be put to death for their trouble or they'd be whipped. But I sort of think that's what a psychiatrist does. You know, we're paid to whisper insights that maybe someone doesn't want to hear, and then it is up to that person to reverse direction or not. The way the arc, what I call the arc of the entrepreneur ought to go, if you're not galloping towards Samarra, usually begins with some kind of success. Now, it may have happened yesterday, or it may have happened when you were 10 years old on a paper route, or maybe, as in Dan's case, when you were able to wangle the extra cookie out of your aunt, and you felt that thrill of succeeding at bargaining, at selling, at getting a profit that you never thought you could get. And you feel that rush, that excitement, which is so much more than just the cookie or just the feed. The rush of, I can make something grow. I can make something happen. And I did it by my wits. I didn't follow some instruction manual. And you get hooked. And then most entrepreneurs, from that success comes a dream. And they imagine a conglomerate, they imagine asteroids. They imagine they dream big. It's in entrepreneurs, DNA. They dream very big. And then the next step, which is what separates them from the cynics and the realists, they take it seriously. They say, I'm gonna populate an asteroid. I'm going to develop a real estate agency for outer space. I'm going to do these things, they take it seriously. Which again, as I say, separates you all from the realists and the cynics. And then they begin what I call the avid and faithful pursuit. Avid and faithful pursuit. Faithful faith is the assurance of things hoped for and the conviction of things unseen. You all have faith. You may not have religious faith, but I can promise you, you feel the assurance of things hoped for and the conviction of things unseen that also separates you from other people. You begin this avid and faithful pursuit of what many people think are crazy goals. Think of who colonized this country. Would you have wanted your son or daughter in 1600 to get on a boat and come over here? It's as crazy as Peter Diamandis wanting to colonize outer space. I have a sign in my office that says, don't wonder if your ideas are crazy. Wonder if they're crazy enough. And you all specialize in taking seriously and faithfully and avidly pursuing these crazy ideas. This country was colonized by people like you, separating themselves from the gene pool in England. From the conservative non risk takers to the wild eyed visionary, pioneering, swashbuckling, cowboying folks that became our ancestors. Your ancestors. And it's a, it's why I love entrepreneurs. You have the assurance of things hoped for and the conviction of things unseen. And guess what? You make it happen. So the avid and faithful pursuit then leads almost always to disappointment. You don't get there right away. And once again, one of the key qualities the entrepreneur kicks in, which is grit. You don't have give up in your vocabulary. You don't have it in your DNA. You don't do that. It's just unthinkable. It's just not an option. And it's not because you have some slogan, failure is not an option. It's because that's not who you are. You're just not built that way. You don't give up. So when you encounter disappointment, which you invariably do, nobody rides a bicycle without falling off first. When you encounter disappointment, you just say, well, no is the first step on the way to yes. And you keep at it and you try it again and you try something else. And almost always what happens is the next step, which I call intervention. Maybe it's divine intervention, or maybe it's something more practical like you go to take Dan's strategic coach. Or maybe you come here and someone gives you the bright idea, like we were swimming in bright ideas. We've been swimming in bright ideas all morning. Or maybe you partner up with the right person. Maybe you Meet someone at the table today, there's some kind of intervention that gets you past that stuck place, and then you're on your way to realization of the dream. And that's what I call the arc of the entrepreneur. And it's wonderful. It's magnificent. It is what makes life not only exciting, but productive and what makes being alive today such a colossally exciting opportunity. The world has never teamed with so much opportunity for so many people. Never. Never. And the obstacle now is psychological. Psychological. So what are the traps that I want to point out to you to help you avoid? Now, there are many, many traps, and I'm going to highlight five of them. But I want to underline that my message is by no means negative. I'm just cautioning you. My message is 1000% positive that now is the time to be alive. If ever there were a time for an entrepreneur to say, praise God for having me be born, now this is it. This is the time for us folks who have this kind of brain. By the way, I have the entrepreneurial brain. I have add. I also have dyslexia, too. I wouldn't trade either one of them for the world. It's a terrible mistake to call these conditions disabilities. They're traits. They're traits, and if you manage them right, they become enormous assets in your life. You know, I tell people I don't treat disabilities. I help people unwrap their gifts. And these conditions are markers of talent. People who have this kind of mind, they're markers of talent. My model is you have a Ferrari engine for a brain with bicycle brakes. And I say, don't worry, I'm a brake specialist, you know, and when I strengthen your brakes, then you'll be able to win races. Now, if you don't strengthen your brakes, a Ferrari with no brakes is kind of dangerous. And that's why you see the prison population full of people with undiagnosed, untreated add. What are the five obstacles, pitfalls that I want to caution you against? The first is the devil of negativity. And all people who are as bright and creative as you are. You see, you pay a price. And you pay a price in that you have a rich imagination. And that imagination can not only envision beauty, greatness, achievement, it can envision the opposite. You can envision failure. You can envision people against you. You can envision impossibility. That's the devil, negativity. I don't know if any of you felt a little hint of it when Peter was talking. When Peter was talking. We were all feeling excited, but I'll bet you some of you, I know I was, are thinking, God, I'm not as smart as he is. I can't keep up with all this stuff. There's no hope for me. I'm just a loser. You know, I. I might as well pack my bag and leave right now. The world is going to pass me by, you know, I'm too old anyway. Send me out to pasture. I've done all I can do. And, you know, how can I. This guy's got it. I don't have it. And you know, that's the voice of negativity. And I have to see my advice in dealing with that. Don't ignore it. Because if you do, it'll keep knocking on your door. Recognize it, and then subject it to rational observation. So what I said to myself as I was listening to Peter, I said, peter doesn't want you to feel that way. He wants you to feel inspired. He's here to share a gift with you, take advantage of it. And sure, it's a lot, and sure he's way smart, but he's here to help you, share with you. So connect with him, work with him, grow with him. And I told the devil to, you know, piss off, you know, so, so, so. But you gotta stare it down. You gotta squash it. It's there in almost everyone who is. Who is very imaginative. The imagination. One of my great heroes, Samuel Johnson, had a wonderful phrase, the hunger of the imagination. And he called worry a disease of the imagination. And when you start worrying and getting into these negative places, it's that disease of the. It's the imagination turning against itself and starting to poison and soil the best parts of you and your life. And the remedy when you fall into those states, if you can't talk yourself out of it and stare the devil down. Never worry alone. Profound advice. Never worry. Now, you want to pick your worry partner wisely. You don't want to pick some sadist who says, yeah, you are a loser. But because the minute you connect with someone else, the minute you partner up, the two key variables in worry go away. The two key variables in toxic worry. Number one, heightened feeling of vulnerability. It has nothing to do with the reality. Feeling of vulnerability and diminished feeling of power and control. The minute you talk to someone, the minute you connect with someone, you feel more powerful and less vulnerable. The situation hasn't changed one bit. The reality hasn't changed one bit. You're just suddenly, instantly better able to deal with it. A good analogy is if you're in a big dark room, alone in a warehouse, you feel afraid, paranoid, scared. If you're in a big dark warehouse with someone, you laugh and giggle. You're not afraid. And this is one of the fundamental facts of life. One of the fundamental facts of life is that we in danger and distress need each other. We need to connect. And one of my fears about modern life is what I call the modern paradox. We have super connected electronically in ways that have changed the world for the better, magnificently. But we've been disconnecting interpersonally. And that's why your coming together here is so important. That's why you really couldn't do this conference virtually. Or you could do it, but it wouldn't have nearly the impact. We really need each other. We need the human moment, not just the electronic moment. The electronic moment is great. Change the world. But don't think we can dispense with the human moment. We need that, particularly in dealing with negativity, in dealing with toxic worry, in dealing with these states that are very common amongst highly talented people that can absolutely sabotage you if you're not careful. Because in those states you make bad decisions, you back away from opportunities, you use drugs, you get into trouble. Okay? The next pitfall I'd like to point out is again, all these are two edged swords. They're paradoxes. But it's the flip side of one of your greatest strengths. One of your greatest strengths is your enthusiasm and curiosity. You are naturally enthusiastic, you are naturally curious. But guess what? You can become the victim of your own enthusiasm. You can over commit, you can lose focus, you can have so many good ideas that you're not able to nourish and develop any one of them to its fullest. And you can have this chronic frustration of saying, gosh, I've got all these great ideas, I've got all these great contexts, I've got all these great resources, but my garden ain't growing. You know, I'm not getting the kind of full maturity of, of growth that I want to get. In other words, you have add. And I want to plant the seed in your mind to take this notion of ADD seriously. While it's not a disorder, it is a trait. And take seriously considering if you might have it, because I can tell you there's no condition in all of medicine that can change a person's life more dramatically for the better than the diagnosis and treatment of adult add. It's remarkable how you can go a quantum level up, not only in your professional life, by the way. In your personal life as well. So consider that you might have this. If you are a visionary, a pioneer, full of ideas, have trouble with follow through, impatient, low tolerance of frustration, tendency to procrastinate, tendency to go down blind alleys. If any of that sounds familiar, consider that you might have this. And remember, the treatment in no way takes away your special sauce. Quite the opposite. It allows you to make maximum use of it. I often I make the analogy. Having ADD is like Niagara Falls. Niagara Falls is just a lot of noise and mistakes until you build a hydroelectric plant. Then you light up the state of New York. That's what the treatment of this condition in adults can do. So consider that I can't talk to an audience like this and not have you. It's like Dean was saying. What am I obligated to say? I am obligated to tell you that there is a possibility to dramatically change your life for the better by considering this. And. And I won't go into the whole, because we don't have time, but if you grab one of my books, my books are very straightforward and clear. Okay? The third one is more delicate. You all have achieved great success. You have achieved, in most of you, quite a lot of wealth. This allows you to become a jerk. See, because people will tend not to tell you. They will tend not to tell you that you're becoming a jerk. The most obvious example are professional athletes. These people walk around with these sycophants who just, you know, tell them what they want to hear and they behave like horrible jerks. You know, 10 children with 10 different women, none of whom they care about treating people like scum, offering nickel tips, you know, and, you know, they're flaming jerks. We all have it in us to become a jerk, particularly when we become rich, famous and powerful. Give people permission, those who are closest to you, to tell you, you know, dad, you're changing. You know, Joe, you're changing. You're not. By the way, I didn't mean you, Joe Polish. I meant Joe Blow. You know, you're not the humble, friendly, what you see is what you get kind of guy anymore. Your success is going to your head and it's not attractive. Now, you may continue to be highly effective. You may continue to be master of the universe. You may continue to change the world for the better. But on your deathbed, there's not going to be many people standing around feeling very sad. You may get lionized in your obituary, but you're not going to like yourself much. You're not going to leave the kind of legacy of love that is by far the most important legacy. So give others permission to give you that kind of feedback. I love the simple intervention which Dan taught me. If someone is exhibiting a difficult behavior, you don't have to have a year of psychotherapy. Just tell them to cut it out. And if they'll listen, that can save them a lot of time and money. Okay. The fourth pitfall that I want to point out to you is what I call the itch at the core of the entrepreneurial mind. Most entrepreneurs have an itch. Most of us with this trait feel a need to change our inner state. We need to do something to pump up the volume. We need to do something to make life seem more vivid and alive. When we wake up in the morning, life just isn't as gripping as we want it to be. We have this appetite for more. We have this desire to make life more vivid, to make life more intense, to somehow or other make it gripping enough that we can really engage. And that really is at the core of this trait. Now, you can't make the itch go away, nor should you want to. It's your greatest asset, but it can also be your worst enemy. So what you have to do is be careful how you scratch the itch. Be careful how you scratch the itch. The maladaptive ways of scratching the itch cause enormous trouble. Drug abuse, alcohol abuse. Extreme danger seeking. You know, I had one patient who said, I only feel focused and alive when I'm at the racetrack, the horses are coming down the home stretch and I have a bet down that I can't afford to lose. I had another patient who said I only feel really focused and alive when I'm making love to a woman and her husband is on the way home. These are dangerous. These are not adept. But another one who said, I only feel focused and alive when I'm skiing down a sheer face, knowing that I really don't have the skill to do it, hoping that I'll survive. And by the way, Peter's partner in writing writes about these extreme sports. What's his first name again? Steven Kotler. A wonderful man. And he talks about the states of flow that you can get into by courting danger. But it's not something I think we wouldn't want to risk our lives to scratch the itch. And yet that's what these folks tend to do in scratching the itch. They resort to danger, to addiction, to all manner of self destructive activities. What they're really seeking is adrenaline. What they're really seeking is nature's own stimulant medication, epinephrine, adrenaline. So what are adaptive ways of scratching the itch? Well, right at the top of the list is my favorite intervention, my favorite drug connection. I call it the Other Vitamin C, Vitamin Connect. And the beauty of Vitamin Connect is that it's infinite in supply and it's free. The sad part of Vitamin Connect is people don't take it seriously. They'd rather get a prescription for Prozac than spend time with a friend, than get a pet, than love somebody. And it's killing people. We live in a big epidemic of Vitamin Connect deficiency. And the symptoms are lethargy, loss of ambition, loss of hope, low grade depression. And these people are being medicated. And what they need to do is turn off their electronics and sit down and talk to somebody. I have nothing against electronics. I love them. They changed the world for the better. But we're seeing this growing addiction, this growing epidemic of what I call screen sucking at the expense of getting the kind of connection with other people you need. Number two in terms of adaptive ways of scratching the itch, physical exercise. My friend John Ratey wrote a great book called Spark the Revolutionary New Science of Exercise in the Brain, in which he lays out in absolute hard scientific detail the myriad ways in which physical exercise builds your brain. John calls it the miracle grow of the brain. It's not just good for your body and heart and bones, it's really good for your brain. And you don't have to just wait to go to the gym. When you're working on a project and you get stuck, stand up and do 25 jumping jacks, do 10 push ups, do a few burpees, whatever. Run up and down stairs a few times, you will push the reset button on your brain. It changes your brain chemistry dramatically within three minutes. So have that as a ready at hand remedy instead of the jar of M&MS. Or the Starbucks and the donut. A quick burst of exercise. And then the third particular way of scratching the itch that I recommend is a creative outlet. You all have come to this instinctively. You know that when you have a creative outlet, when you have a business that you're growing, you feel better. The reason I write so many books, I'm on my 20th book now. The reason I write so many books is not that I'm driven to write books. It's because if I don't have a book going, I get depressed. It's just that simple. If I don't have a book in process, I get depressed. I don't have to be working on it, but the fact that I have it in process gives me a creative outlet. I know it's there, and my unconscious is percolating away on it. The same with you guys with your businesses. The fact that you're growing them, the fact that you're here, the fact that you have it in mind, it gives you that creative outlet which scratches the itch. The final in my last 20 seconds pitfall may be the most dangerous of all the failure to take seriously and develop your loving connections. All the studies on health, longevity, success, and happiness in life come back to the importance of one love. Take it seriously, honor it, nourish will pay you back over and over again. Thank. You.

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