How To Get Rid Of Problems Using The Correct Thinking - Episode #10

I'm joe polish.

I'm dan sullivan and welcome to 10 times talk. Hello, this is Joe Polish, and this is Dan Sullivan.

And welcome to 10X Talk. And we are, we're going to talk about some, some interesting complexities that I'm having right now. We had a conversation right before we started rolling here and decided to create a, an episode out of this that could hopefully not only help me get to my 10x future, but help all of our listeners and use me as a lab rat, as a guinea pig, is to reveal some issues that I'm dealing with. And so we're going to talk about my house, my new house. So, gosh, how do we start with this one? Dan, do you want me to describe the problem that I was talking with you about prior to this?

Yeah, I think it's really interesting, Jerry, Joe, because the type of situation that you're talking about is just a sort of a constant experience in every really busy, successful entrepreneur's life. And it really puts them in a corner, really jams them, you know, really stresses them out. And, you know, I mean, you're expressing yourself about a particular situation, which is a huge opportunity for you, but because, you know, you have such a busy schedule ahead of you, you know, just overload of this new situation kind of jams you. And it's just very, very common. All entrepreneurs experience this. And so I think anybody listening to this is going to get enormous value just out of you explaining your situation.

Okay, great, great. Well, yes, and so what I will do, and I will frame what's going on with me. And then Dan is the number one person I know in the world to ever, you know, come across things like this with and run it by him. And the reason I say that is because merely complaining about this or expressing frustration with it, I would almost feel like, oh, I can't really do that because, you know, I mean, these are modern problems. I mean, I have a great life. I'm fortunate to have a successful business that I've worked really hard to develop. And I've got a lot of things available to me that many people in the world don't. So there's always that side of me that's like, oh, you know, you can't complain about when things are good because poor guy with the nice house on the mountain sort of situation. But again, it's a real complex situation. Here's the deal. Recently me and my girlfriend were out looking at houses, not too seriously, but inquiring because I live in a really cool house, but I'VE lived there for 13 years, and I'm kind of bored with it. It's an awesome house. I've done cool stuff with it, but I want something bigger, and I've always wanted something on a mountain. And so we've been looking at different houses, and I have a really good friend who is an awesome real estate agent. He showed me a few. And I have another buddy that just bought this amazing house on a mountain here in Arizona outside of Scottsdale. And he referred his real estate agent to me. He sent an email and said, hey, Joe wants to get a cool house like mine. You've spent two years helping me find this one. Maybe he likes stuff just like me. So this lady, she ended up sending me an email saying, I've got a perfect Joe Polish house. I mean, she, you know, took it upon herself to look at my website, kind of get an understanding of me and then find me a house. And I was like, thinking, well, I'll go meet her. And so one day, she shows two houses on Camelback Mountain in Arizona, Paradise Valley area. And so basically, I go and meet her, and I'm with my girlfriend. And so we go and look at this first house. It's awesome, but I think it's, you know, pretty overpriced, but it's awesome. And then we go to another house on the mountain, and it's stunning. The view is stunning. The house is like a southwestern house. And I like really contemporary and cool, but the view is unbelievable. Right on a mountain. Giant mountain that you own if you buy this house. And so the next day, I put an offer on it, and within one hour of meeting this woman, this realtor, I end up buying a house from her. And I felt horrible because my other friend, who I know really well, had spent many hours, and so I called him up and said, you know, I can't think of any way to incorporate you into this deal. And just the way it happened, it's simply just time. And he's like, no, Joe. He's like, completely understand. He goes, believe it or not, you know, you've been so helpful to me with your podcast and everything. He's like, I mean. And he sincerely said, I'm not just saying this on this episode. Just the nicest guy, and, you know, gave me the blessing. So here I am with this house. Just closed on it, you know, three days ago. And right before we were getting ready to record this episode, I was saying to Dan, I was like, man, you know, I just inherited a project here. This house is amazing. But there's so much work that I want to do to it in order to get it to be the hip, cool, awesome, eccentric, kind of strange and elegant Zenish home that I want it to be. And so I simply asked you, Dan, you know, I've got travel coming up, I've got my August event coming up. There's so many things on my plate. I didn't plan any time to move. And here I am with a 5,500 square foot home on a giant mountain that has all kinds of stuff that I want to do to it. And it's quite overwhelming because I'm just really scheduled up. So that's the situation. And so I'll stop rambling there. And you proceeded to share with me some awesome stuff that felt was so good that it would be so useful to have other people listening to this and see how it compares to other situations, even if they're not in the situation of buying a house or not.

Yeah, well, you know, Joe, my experience and you know, in 2014, it represents 40 years that I've been coaching entrepreneurs and I personally dealt with about 6,000 entrepreneurs. Every possible different kind of industry, every possible different kind of business. But from that, the number one problem that everybody has is complexity. Entrepreneurs are very imaginative, they're very creative, they're very driven by opportunity. They tend to take on more than they can handle at any given time. And this is not just about their business life, but it's also about their personal life. And, you know, I mean, we have a tendency to create the solution and then all the problems related to the solution start visiting us the next night that we try to go to sleep. So this type of situation, I think, can be just used as any kind of complexity. So our listeners out there are dealing with very, very complex situations. And one of the things that I try to get across are just a couple contexts for people to think about their problems. And I said that first of all, you've chosen this problem for a reason. You're actually choosing a great new capability and a great new resource. But right now you're just seeing the work that lies ahead. And I said, one of the things you have to do is realize that the problem is never the problem. The problem is that you don't know how to think about the problem. And I always say with people, you don't have any problem with the problem. You have a problem with thinking about the problem. And the moment that you develop a different way of thinking about the problem, then you'll see the solutions and the Complexity and the burden of all the stress and everything will go away. As soon as we're clear about what the issue actually is, then we can make decisions, we can communicate, we can take action. But as long as you're not understanding the problem, then you're in real trouble. So what I always try to do is that I don't try to give people the solution. I just try to give them a new context or a series of context for actually understanding the problem. And they're bright, intelligent people, so once they get the new context, they can figure out things really, really, really easily. And just to, you know, I'll just put in one thing here and then I'll go back to you because this is, you know, this was a real process that we went through before we started recording. And I'd like to reflect that in the presentation here. But one of the things I said is that you were saying, you know, I just have so much stuff to go through before this house is going to be the way I like it. And, you know, three months from now, I'll probably be sitting on the back patio and I'll be loving it, but I just have so much hell to go through. And I said, well, what if you could do it in such a way that there was no hell to go through whatsoever and that the entire experience was really enjoyable. And the reason it would be that way is somebody else is going to go through this stuff, and somebody else who's just an expert at handling this type of situation is going to be a project manager for you, and they're just going to come to you for decisions, and you're not going to have to do any of it. So that was my first context that I gave you, Joe. This whole thing is that the problem has to be solved, but it doesn't mean that you have to be the person to solve the problem.

Right, right, exactly. And prior to you saying that, I still thought of this as so much more that I have to do myself. Although, you know, I've got all kinds of people that have been recruited and engaged since the moment I, you know, made an offer on this, preparing for this. But in my mind, I just made it out to be way more than what I really needed to do. Just simply like you just said, the problem is not the problem. The problem was how I was thinking about the problem. And that's why I think it's so useful to even have this discussion right now, because I think everybody, if they just wrote that down, what you just said, and then use the rest of this episode to really think through any situations in their life. It'll be helpful as I sit here, you know, really just utilizing that context to get some clarity and some directions on how to move forward in a much more effective, efficient, and certainly less stressful approach to, you know, what really is an opportunity. But I was viewing it as a giant problem.

Yeah. And the other thing, Joe, because I've gone. Babs and I have actually, you know, gone through this process and you know, we're. Our life is really strategic. Coach and Babs and I are partners, we're married, but we created the company together. And you can't find the line that separates our, you know, our kind of our personal life from our business life. And it's why I love dealing with entrepreneurs. Because your choice to be an entrepreneur isn't strictly a business to decision, it's an entire life purpose decision. In other words, you have a philosophy of entrepreneurism. It isn't just a way of making money. And so one of the things I try to get people to see that there's no dividing line between the real busyness of your work schedule over the next, you know, right till the middle of August, because you have your great annual event in the middle of August. And you know, that is sort of the anchor of your entire year. And you just have really, really a lot of work to do. But you have experts and you have a team to do that. But then there's this line between that life in which you've really organized and you have a tremendous number of geniuses coming to help you out. And then you have a line says, my personal life. And Joe is a great attractor and great manager of other people's genius in his business life. But then he goes into his personal life and he becomes a rugged individualist again, says, I have to do all this by myself. And right there, you know, you've just guaranteed yourself about 60 sleepless nights in a row, you know, the pressure and everything else. And that impacts. But if you would just remove that line between your business life and your personal life and say, you know, I'm buying this house as an extension of my business capability, I can entertain there, I can have small conferences there, you know, I can invite, you know, new genius level talent that I want to have come into the genius network and I can have them there socially and everything else. So this is a phenomenal new business capability that I've actually, you know, I've actually gained. And guess what? It fits in totally. You know, I mean, you aren't a different person in your personal life than you are in your business life. I've known you for, you know, 15 years, and there's no difference in you as an individual. But I think in your mind, you have a line, you know, between your business life and your personal life, where you're really, really efficient and really, really directive in the one, but on the other one, you do everything yourself.

Yeah, no, you definitely. You hit the nail on the head there. I mean, it's true. I mean, I haven't communicated that, you know, before we started recording, where there'. There's a side of me that it is a control issue. And to what degree, you know, at what point, how do I get myself into a place where I feel, oh, I don't have to do this. I can, you know, turn it over? And you gave me some really great suggestions. For one, you said, hire a professional organizer. Well, I've hired professional organizers a lot in the past, but there's one lady named Valerie that his specialty is helping people move that I didn't even think of until you pointed that out. And then, like, have her put together a game plan. You made this comment. You're like, pay her 1,000 bucks and get 80%, which we've talked about on previous episodes. Get the first 80%. Right. Which. Talk about that first, and then I'll come back with some of the suggestions you had given me.

Yeah, well, the whole point is that there are people who are as great at organizing other people's lives as you are doing the great things that you do. You know, I mean, there are people who can look at a, you know, somebody else's complexity and messes and everything else, and they just love it because they can bring order to it. They can bring simplicity to it in a very short period of time. And the reason is because they're a genius at it, and they can do in an hour what one of us might not be able to do in a week. And it would be an energetic hour where, for us, it would drain our energies. So, you know, we just call that unique ability and unique ability teamwork. What you have is the ability, first of all, you can write a check and get a really, really great house. Not everybody has that ability. The other thing is that you just happen to know probably more incredibly interesting human beings on the planet than anyone I know, and they would just love to come and spend time with you in your new show house. So you bring that to the table. But you don't have the ability to think about these Very, very granular, fine tuned details that it's going to take to make the move from one house to the other and get the decoration right according to your formula, the landscaping right according to your formula, you know, and you have a unique formula, you have a particular style and they'll sense that. And if not, they'll know where somebody else is who has an ability that's beyond their ability and they'll be able to acquire that ability very fine. So what I, you know, I've got, I've just got a set of rules regarding anything that looks like a complex problem for me. The first one is can I solve this by doing nothing? Because sometimes problems just kind of take care of themselves if you do nothing and you don't spend any time. So that's my first question. And you know, sometimes it's true, but it's worth asking the question. And then the, the second one is, is there a way I can solve this by doing as little as possible? And then I just say, yeah, I could probably just confine it to maybe a couple days work of just specifying what I want and then is there a way that I can get it done really, really quickly through other people's unique abilities? And that's usually the way that I go if I just give them really, really clear directions on what the final result should look like, you know, and everything like that. So my default position is to do nothing, to do as little as possible. And then if I'm going to be doing anything, it's just interacting in a teamwork with other people who are really great at what needs to be done to actually solve the problem. And that just saves me an enormous.

Amount of energy, you know, that's fantastic. Let me ask you about a couple of things that, you know, some you just said prior to us recording and the other something I heard you say years ago, which I'll say that one first. Years ago I heard you mention in Strategic Coach that there's no such thing as bad work on the planet. There's just certain, there's just bad work for certain people doing it because they're not working within their unique ability. And the interesting thing about that, not just for me, but most of the people that I can remember when you made that comment because there was a conversation around it was this, you know, feeling like, oh, you know, I feel bad for that person because they're, you know, they're a house cleaner, you know, because I come from a carpet cleaning business. And that always tends to be one of those sort of categories where people think that work is beneath them and that, oh, you know, poor people that are doing it. And, you know, you talked about you have a house cleaner that just loves to clean. I mean, this person really, truly loves. So talk about that. There's no such thing as bad work. And then I'll bring up the second thing.

Yeah, well, it's kind of an arrogance that. But anyone who doesn't do what you do and love doing must hate what they do. You know, it's a total arrogance. And, you know, there are street cleaners who are geniuses at what they do, and they see the world in Technicolor, where you look at their world and you see it in black and white. I'll give you a good example, because I was just talking to her about an hour ago. But Babs and I have had a bookkeeper for going on almost 25 years now, and her name is Mary Beth. And so Mary Beth takes care of all of our personal finances. And there's a. You know, there's quite a bit of complexity involved. All the bills, everything. She handles all of our bank accounts and everything else. And she's just utterly reliable. She's a perfectionist in what she does. And I couldn't imagine myself doing any of that. I mean, just the thought of those activities just really, really drains me. And as far as I can tell, what she does today, 25 years later, is exactly the same as what she did on the first day she worked with us. In all the intervening days over the next 25 years, it looks like the same thing that she does every day. So one day I went into her and I said, mary Beth, do you like this? And she says, dan, I can't tell you how much I love this. She says, from one day to the next, you never know what's going to happen. And I'm not seeing any of this, you know, but she's seeing it, you know, And I took that as a real lesson that from the center of every person's unique skill universe, everything looks different. Everything looks colorful. Everything looks, you know, really fascinating. And so I never make any judgments about other people's work and why they're doing that work, because they have something completely different than they're seeing, than I can see from the outside. And so I always respect other people, regardless of what kind of work they do, especially if they look like they're enjoying the work, you know, I mean, if they're enjoying the work. I said, they aren't seeing their work the way I'm seeing their work.

Okay, well that's a really, you know, don't make assumptions. You know, there's a really good thing just with that. The second is, what if you actually encounter someone who works for you as per se, a vendor like that, a bookkeeper that hated what they were doing, or you hire a moving company and you know, they, you know, one of the people doesn't want to be there, all of them, and they're just kind of grumpy. I mean, how do you, how do you interpret that? To what degree? Because me, I tend to be, I don't know, maybe call it co dependent where if someone, I see someone that's really not liking what they're doing, I tend to, I'm very empathetic. I almost want to start giving them advice or finding other opportunities for them, even when it is not really my responsibility. How do you interpret that encounter? If you come across a printer who, you know, does a good job but they hate what they do? I mean, how do you interact with them? I mean, because certainly, well, you know.

I mean, it's one of the first things that I look for, Joe. Do they love. I mean, one of my first questions with anyone who works with me, works for me, does things on my behalf is do they love doing what they're doing? Because if they love doing what they're doing, you don't have to manage them, you don't have to monitor them, you don't have to motivate them, you know, and you know, I don't have to give them incentives. The work itself is motivating and it's exciting to them. So if you look at my world, I mean in a 360 degree circle, I have almost no human beings in my life who don't love doing what they're doing. And it just makes life so simple. First of all, it prevents me from trying to save people. The biggest waste of time on the planet is trying to save another human being. Human beings save themselves and they look for the necessary skills and necessary resources. And you know, it's not my job to initiate a saving, you know, a salvation project with anybody.

Yeah, well, let me, let me mention the other thing then. You made this comment prior to this recording, which was people. There are people, Joe, that are put on the planet just to help you. There are people that are put on the planet to help me. And just thinking of it, it's a pretty simple statement, but I think it says a lot.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, one of the things for it is that people Just don't tell the truth about all the things that they hate. Now, I'm an incredibly incredible truth teller, you know, and I've taught myself. It's not like, you know, I mean, it's not like any of this came natural to me, Joe, But I just pay attention as I go along of everything that I don't like, and I make a note of it. And if I've done it once and I hated it, then the key to me being actually an intelligent, creative human being is never to do that again. But then say, well, what is the type of person or skill that has to handle this the next time I encounter it? So I've actually created my universe of helpers because each of us is in the center of his or her own universe. And I've just got literally, you know, I mean, it's. It's more than dozens. I've literally got hundreds of people who have specialized skills who help and support me and protect me in some part of my life. And they get paid for it. They get rewarded for it. You know, I mean, there. There's, you know, there's. There's a trade that goes on, you know, and. And I see my whole. It's almost like I have my own economy, you know, and I've got this trading going on with hundreds and hundreds of different relationships, but they all bring a very specific skill to the table that protects me, promotes me, supports me, so that I can just spend all my time just doing what I love doing. And, you know, this is. I mean, if you tried to put on one of your genius networks conferences, but you were the genius for two days, and you were the genius on all 40 things that people, you know, really bring to your. To your conferences, which is so amazing. Well, you'd be good at maybe two or three of them, but the other 37 would be a snooze, you know, I mean, you wouldn't be any good at them at all. You put everybody to sleep. It wouldn't be worth anybody's time to actually spend on the 37 things that somebody else is better at. So, you know, I just. I say everybody's got something that they're great at, and. And the more that they can free themselves up, just concentrate on that thing, then the more, you know, the richer their life becomes and the more opportunity that they create for other people, and then other people meet. I mean, Joe, you've introduced me probably to 20 people who are now making my life easier, you know, and, you know, I mean, it's multidimensional you know, it's exponential. It's really an amazing thing. And we can do so much of this in the 21st century that we could couldn't do in the 20th.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. Which reminds me of something. This may sound a little strange, but I talked about it in the most recent 25k group that I had, where as people in the how to consulting, advice, coaching business, one of the roles that they play for a lot of their clients is just a glorified reminder service. You know, it's just simply reminding people of the things that they used to do that they forgot to do or just helping them get back on track. And I remember talking to a guy in a 12 step group and he was a sponsor, not a sponsor for me, a sponsor for someone else. And he said to me, he said, you know, the reason I sponsor people in 12 steps is because I give them feedback on what I went through in my most challenging times, from preventing relapse to doing the steps. And I do it because I know there's going to be a point in time where they're going to remind me of what I told them to do when I can't remember to do it myself because I've forgotten about it or it's not present in my mind. And I thought, you know, it was just kind of an interesting statement because in so many ways I so quickly, you know, prior to recording this, there's been a big mental time consumption in my head thinking about this house. And after talking with you for just a few minutes, I immediately felt better, felt more confident, I felt more capable. And did anything change? I mean, what changed is how I was thinking about the problem. You know, the problem no longer was even framed and even right now is no longer framed as a problem. It's framed as a really giant opportunity that I'm excited about. When before I was feeling pretty overwhelmed and pretty unsure and kind of really anxious and like, man, how do I take this on? But so quickly, you know, that switched. And I think part of the setup is for one, it's coming from you, who I highly respect and have great rapport with and know that, that your guidance and advice works. But what also is good is the fact that I've got 13 plus years in strategic coach thinking about how to think and knowing how to. And so when I hear it, it immediately, boom, my mind goes to that which is so much the value of this sort of thinking. And so I'm not sure to what degree that is translated to our listeners, but What I wanted to do as we wrap this up is even if the listener is not buying a house or they're not in this particular situation, certainly overwhelm is a huge problem with the entrepreneurial world complexity taking too much on not knowing how to delegate. And the thing that you said is giving people a context for understanding the problem. I just wanted to get any final thoughts or words from you about, you know, a house or whatever. If you're in a negative state. What. What do you recommend is the best way to, to flip it around and where to start?

Well, one of the, you know, Joe, as we were talking before the recording started, that I wanted to put into context for you what the house you're moving from represented to you, you know, like 15 years ago, and what this house that you're now moving into will rep, you know, will really represent for you and represent about you 10 to 15 years down the road. So one of the reasons why people get overwhelmed is because they're seeing it within like a very, very narrow and very immediate time period, when in fact this has actually got like a, you know, a long history and it's got a big future. And so what I said is the house that you have lived in for, you know, the last 15 or 13 years, I don't know which the number is, but I've been there and it's a great house. But in my mind it kind of represents who Joe Polish was when I first got to know him. But it doesn't really represent the Joe Polish that I know right now. And yet you sent, you know, you sent some gorgeous photos, you know, to us, you know, about 10, 15 photos of your new place. And I said, well, you know, this really is just bringing Joe's house, house capabilities up to where he is now. But not only that, it has an enormous amount of growth and potential for who he's going to become over the next 10 to 15 years. And I think that if you see that in that context, you begin to realize that this is just a very, very small moment in about a 30 year time frame, you know, what you're doing here and that gives you a lot of breathing room, you know, I mean, and therefore to really get a lot of great skills in a. Which you couldn't afford to do, you know, 13, 14 years ago, you couldn't bring in those skills. But now, not only are you giving a great new house, but you can surround this next house with a teamwork that also represents who you've become. And you know, I mean, to a Certain extent, I'm simply preaching back at you what you talk to the, you know, to the participants in 25k ingenious network. You're saying, look, you could spend two, three, five years trying to learn marketing and it probably cost you a million dollars to learn what for, you know, in New York, $10,000 for two days and then $25,000 for the whole year. I can save you, you know, 99% of the time and I probably save you 99% of the cost and give you all the connections and all the insights and all the open doors that you, you know, first of all, you wouldn't do for yourself, but it would just constantly frustrate you because it's not your unique ability. So, you know, that's the message that you give. That's what I bought into. That's what I've discovered in 25k ingenious network. All I'm saying is the very thing that you're selling other people, you know, within the framework of your unique ability, just apply it to yourself in relationship to.

Yeah, completely. Completely. And so. Well, Dan, thank you. I like using me as a lab rat for this situation. And simultaneously, here's what's kind of clever is that not only did we record a 10x talk episode, but I also got clarity in the process along the way, which I think speaks to continually having these sort of conversations and thinking about it because this does represent my 10 times growth. And so for our listeners, whatever it is that represents your 10 times growth. Dan also mentioned something to me when I was going through a different situation but a very challenging situation, and you made this comment where things like this, nothing feels good when you're in the middle. And it gave me a context of how to think about. Yeah, you know, I'm kind of going through it. You know, if you're in the middle of a really intense personal training session and your trainer's, you know, really working you hard and your muscles are, you know, your legs are buckling, you're, you're sweating, you're fatigued, you're tired, you're praying for it to end, but you're just pushing your way through it. When you're done, you're going to be like, man, I just really put myself through an amazing workout that's just going to make me bigger and stronger. I use that as a model of how to think about it. And all of these continual thoughts continually help my brain interpret and make sense of problems, challenges and opportunities and how to overcome them. And the fact is, you know, in order to grow 10 times, you got to be willing to do things that other people are not willing to do. And so this is, this has been very helpful and I hope it's been very helpful to all of our listeners. And anything else to add to this?

I think no. And I just, you know, I just want to compliment you on just being open about this. I mean, you know, I think that probably everybody out there was listening with half a brain because half of it was on what we were talking about. Half of it was all their complexities that they're dealing with right now. So just by you being willing to talk about yours, I think you've probably helped, you know, out in thousands of different situations.

Awesome. Awesome. Thank you. All right, everyone, give us your comments. 10x Talk Share this with anyone that you think might be moving and buying a new house in the next week or in any situation. If you think anyone that's going through some challenges that this would help flip a switch, please share 10xtalk.com with them and go download our free reports and you can read about some really awesome stuff related to all kinds of ways to build and grow your business 10 times while simultaneously removing complexity out of your life. And one last thing for the next week, put it on a post it note. Put it on your, you know, on your smartphone, your iPhone, whatever, on the screen. The problem is not the problem. The problem is how you think about the problem. And that's of course quoted by Dan Sullivan. And I think you would be well served to post that on any social media that you may have and spread the wonderful words and wisdom of Mr. Dan Sullivan from Strategic Coach. So thank you, Dan, and thanks everyone for listening.

Thank you.