How to Grow Faster in Life & Leadership (Through Learning & Speaking) Feat. Les Brown

How does one accelerate learning? And so for years I would share with, you know, my service business clients. Early on when I went from dead broke carpet cleaner to learning how to make that business work, then taking, wow, I figured out a bunch of things that work and now how do I share them with other people? And I'm definitely afraid of speaking, so I don't want to go speak, you know, and then I would like force myself to be in situations where I had to present, although I was a nervous wreck. And then I started going to Toastmasters and that was incredibly beneficial. And then it dawned on me, like, wow, I am learning this stuff so much quicker because I'm now putting myself in a position to have to teach other people. So I would then, you know, later share three ways to learn something. You learn through the school of hard knocks. You just don't ask for directions. You know, before gps, you know, that whole, there was that whole stereotype of men never ask for direction sort of thing. You just bumble your way through life, you figure it out, you'll learn stuff, but you're going to fail a lot. It's going to be painful. So that's one way to learn. Second way to learn is you learn through the experiences of other people. You read the books, go to their seminars, buy their courses, learn, get educated. Not education in school, but education out of school. Right. The real life education. And that's a more effective way to learn. That's why I read a lot of books. That's why I've gone to a lot of seminars. That's why I've hired a lot of people. So then the third way to learn, which is the most, you know, accelerated, fastest way, is you put yourself, you start teaching other people because then you have to integrate it at a whole nother level.

So I would challenge that.

Well, yeah, I want to hear your perspective on this.

Yeah. When I graduated from high school, had a friend of mine, Larry Littles, he went to Bethune Cookman College, graduated together, they traded him to. So he went to San Diego Chargers. He was an offensive guard. He was so ineffective there, they traded him for like two or three dollars.

He must have been really ineffective.

Very ineffective. But he went to the Miami Dolphins. Don Shuler, a coach. Larry became all Star offensive guard 12 years in a row. Inducted into the hall of Fame, Football hall of Fame. Very seldom that offensive guards are inducted into the hall of Fame. What was the difference? The coach. Yeah, what the coach was able to find and bring out of him. When I met Mr. Leroy Washington, when I was in his class, when I was put back, when I fell in the eighth grade. And I was looking for a friend. And you know the story MacArthur Stevens and Mr. Washington, who was a speech and drama teacher. And I admired his oratorical skills and how he trained students and my classmates. And he said, young man, he's going to do a play called 12 Angry Men. And so he said, I want you to go out up to the front and I want you to work this problem out for me. We're looking for something. And I said, sir, I can't do that. I'm just here looking for MacArthur Stevens. He said, I want you to do what I ask you to do anyhow. I said, sir, I'm not one of your students. I'm just looking for my friend. And the other students started laughing, saying, he's Leslie. He's got a twin brother, Wesley. Wesley's smart. He's dt. And they started laughing and he asked, what's dt? And I said, he's educable, mentally retarded. He's in special education. And he looked at me and I said, I am, sir. And he came from behind his desk, he looked at me, he said, don't you ever say that again. Someone's opinion of you does not have to become your reality. Do you hear me? And I said, yes, sir. He disrupted the story that I believed about myself. And as a result of him, he told me three things that served me today that I mentioned earlier. He said, you want to make it in life, don't you? I said, yes, sir. And he said, number one, develop your mind. You don't get in life what you want, you get in life what you are. He said, I want you to listen to this. And he gave me, Earl Nightingale, the strangest secret in the world.

Wow.

He says, number two, practice the principle of OQP only quality people. The award winning Academy Award winner, Sidney Poitier, he wrote a book called the Measure of a Man. He said, when you go for a walk with someone, something happens without being spoken. Either you adjust to their pace or they adjust to your pace. Whose pace have you adjusted to? We're earning within 2 to $3,000 of our closest friends. When I found that out, I got all my broke friends out of my life. I said, y' all gotta go. Don't go away mad, but y' all gotta go. And the other thing he said, Mr. Brown, develop your communication skills, because once you open your mouth, you tell the world who you are. And where's James? James? Yeah. Questions of what he said was very important. I did a presentation for a major pharmaceutical company. And when I was getting ready to leave, I saw a sign that said danger Zone. And all of these people lined up to go into this room, do a presentation. And I came in and I was curious to find out what was going on. And so there were doctors in the room. I was the only one that was not a doctor, except people in the hotel. And so. And this conference was teaching doctors how to communicate with their patients to encourage them to take their hypertension medication. And if they don't, they will have a stroke or they can suffer an aneurysm or heart disease. And so I was seated next to the CEO and he came in late. I said, excuse me, sir. I said, you're the CEO? He said, yeah. I said, do you have hypertension? He said, yes. And I touched him slightly on his leg. Doctors who touch their patients reduce their chances of having a malpractice suit file against them by 37%. I said, you have hypertension? He said, yes. I asked him, why do you take your medication? He said, I want to live. Then why do you have a fear based campaign? Why not have it the success zone appeal to people's desire to want to live? He said, you got a point. He said, can you train doctors? I said, yes. They had all these doctors there. I'm the only one not a doctor, right? The only. Raisin and a glass of buttermilk. I'm turning red, but y' all can't see it anyhow. He said, you got a contract. You never believe what that contract was for training 3500 doctors. You'd never guess anybody. Wild guess. One month. If you don't have money, how much money I get paid? No, those small. I just trained them. Went to different cities and trained them. But that's good.

I like James.

You are profit. All right. Thank you, though. $640,000 because I asked the right question. I didn't try and sell myself on it. Everybody. You've heard the expression, you can take a horse to the water, but you can't make him drink, Right. What we do as coaches and as speakers, we create the want. If you know how to effectively communicate and ask the right questions, then they will want to do business with you. Because our goal and objective. When you look at Joe Polish and his whole staff, they're not here to sell you, they're here to serve you. And that's why you show up. The greatest among you will be your servant. So when you Ask the right questions. Something Zig Ziglar talked about. And your book addresses this. He said, if you give enough people what they want, they'll give you what you want. Maya Angelou said, people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. And so when you care enough to ask people questions, as I train speakers, I said, never let what you want to say get in the way. What your customer wants to hear, and all thy getting get understanding. Find out who are they, what's going on with them, what challenges are they facing, what's keeping them up at night, what have they done before that did not work as you talked in those strategic questions. And so I sent out a needs assessment. And when I spoke for Merrill lynch and Talked about these two guys who got together in 1905, one was a businessman, the other one was a visionary. As a result of my doing research, people seated in the audience thought that was just one name. And I got another 22 engagements out of that. And so you're asking key questions, but becoming knowledgeable and finding out things about your client and incorporating those things in your presentation. I spoke for a guy named Brian Buffini. Anybody ever heard of him? He said, real estate. So when I go in to speak, I send a needs assessment. Brian filled out. So I wanted to find out where he was and what he wanted, because he's a man that signs a check. Okay. Then I talked to his top performer, performers, and I extracted stories out of them. And so when I got up and was giving my speech, every point that I was going to make in my speech, I create a framework how trained people do this. I would use their story as an example. So I said, you know, I was talking to James, and he's been with the company for years. And he said that this place he loves because it helps him to begin to learn more about the customers, that life is a question, and how we live our lives is the answer. And so James said he loves being here because it's a family consciousness. And when I talked to Veronica, Veronica talked about the day that she was thinking about how she was going through a tough time when a family member died, but everybody got together, and it gave her the strength to weather that red sea, to weather that storm. And when I got to the end of my speech, when I was getting a standing ovation, I said, I'm so glad to be able to see you. And I started walking off, and I said, oh, by the way, I'm not too busy for referrals. That was It. That's his theme. We're never too busy for referrals. I got 56 speaking engagements. Wow.

Wow.

But that's not. But guess what, James? He said, wait a minute, Mr. Brown. He said, this is November. He said, whatever number of engagements that you have for the rest of the year, I want them. I write the check for them. And at that time, I was charging $35,000 an hour. But he paid for every speaking engagement for the rest of the year. Because I did research on him. I did research. I interviewed the top performers. What is it about you that's different than the rest of the people here? I found out his mission statement. I found out how he met his wife. I said, you know, Brian, one of the things I know about you, when you met your wife Martha, you became very spiritual and said, the Lord is my shepherd. I see what I want. So complimenting his wife, I did research on him and his people and the people that came in the room, that I interviewed them individually and used their story, they say, oh, my God. When I would use their story, they start hunching, he's talking about me, you know, and all of those things, you put those elements in, it's different than just going out doing an information dump. If information could change people, everybody would be skinny, rich, and happy. They can Google information. They bring us in. You ask the right questions, you can create an experience. Oliver Winderholme said that once a man or woman's mind has been expanded with an idea or concept or experience, it can never be satisfied to going back to where it was. And when we look at what this experience that we're going through right now, it's giving us a larger vision of ourselves and allowing us to navigate all the things that we're facing right now.

Hey, I hope you're enjoying this video. And I want to let you know that I have a new book that's come out, and if you'd like to get it absolutely free, there's a link below in the description. Or you can wait till the end of this video, or you can Simply go to joe'sfreebook.com and you can get a copy there.

Going back to the. Well, no, let's go. Because throw Joel A. I won't switch topics yet.

Okay.

When I first heard you at nsa, when you joined, you told the story of how you learned how to make words beautiful. And you described the process you went through because you weren't as articulate, certainly as a young man, as you are now. I never forgot those things. That you talked about. Could you share how you developed that such unique Les Brown word delivery system that you have? This would be helpful to this group.

Mr. Washington said, what do you want to do with your life, young man?

I. I. Micah.

Okay, sorry.

Hold it up a little.

Okay. He said, what do you want to do with your life, young man? I said, I'd like to become a disc jockey. He said, here are my car keys. I said, what is it? He said, I want you to go in my car at 12 noon. Don't go to the cafeteria. Bring a sandwich to school. He said, in order to be successful, you must be willing to do the things today others won't do in order to have the things tomorrow others won't have. I want you to listen to a guy named Paul Harvey. He's the greatest communicator in the world. He does a program at 12 noon called the Rest of the Story. So at lunchtime, I would be in his car and the air conditioner going, eating peanut butter jelly sandwiches and listening to Paul Harvey, who said, good day. And I studied Paul Harvey. I watched Billy Graham. I turned the volume down. I watched his eyes. He was very intense with his eyes. I studied Zig. Ziglar by. I learned the value of energy. Zig had energy. Jim Rowan, when the end comes for you, let it find you conquering a new mountain, not sliding down an old one. I read other philosophers. Winston Churchill. The truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it. Ignorance may deride it. At the end, there it is. When I train speakers, I say to them, you must be a perpetual learner. As soon as your audience knows, as much as you know, know they no longer need you. Robert Chula said, we must expand or we are expendable. And we're in this place that Peter Drucker said that we must be willing to unlearn, learn, and relearn. So this is a new space. Einstein said, the thinking that has brought me this far has created some problems that this thinking can't solve. So I wanted to make Mike Williams said, brownie, you must stop and you must be. I don't want to train you to speak in a niche. I want to train you to speak to the world. Because when I told him I wanted him to be my coach, because I saw him speak and he was so captivating and had humor and quotes and well read. And I said, man, I said, can you teach me to do what you do? He said, yes. So I said, great. And then he asked me a question. James, who you Want to speak to? I said, the naacp, the Urban League. All of a sudden, the phone went dead. I say, man, we lost the line. He said, no, we did not. I said, what happened? He said, I don't want to work with anybody who has such a small vision. And hung up again. I called him back. I said, man, please don't hang up on me. He said, what do you want to do? I said, I want to speak to the world. He said, okay, then we got some synergy. This is a good fit because you can. I don't want you to see yourself as Les Brown, LB Triple P, Les Brown, your platter playing papa. There were none before me and there will be none after me. Therefore, that makes me the one and only, young and single and love Domingo, certified bona fide, indubitably qualified to bring you some satisfaction and a whole lot of action. You're not just a disc jockey. I want you to empower and change people's lives. You got that in you? I say, thank you, Mike. Sometimes you. And this is write this down. Sometimes you have to believe in somebody's belief in you until your belief kicks in. Does that make sense.

Really?

I think that is part of the key is being around people that believe in you oftentimes more than you believe in yourself. I mean, you talk a lot about that in your book. And, I mean, I would not be. I don't think I'd be where I'm at with addiction recovery had I not met many individuals that somehow, you know, when I'm talking my way out of any level of living a functional life, even surviving, is having people. You can do it. You can do it. And I think the difference, though, is when it's puffery versus it really penetrates, you know, like real nutrition versus, you.

Know, Where's Michael Bernoff?

Michael Bernoff's somewhere in the building. I think he's downstairs.

But I want to say thank you. When I. My issue dealing with the drugs, and I knew what your passion was, you got to have somebody that you can talk to and you can be transparent with and share things about yourself and know that they won't judge you. And so I knew when I called you and told you that I was addicted to drugs, you wouldn't say, you, Les Brown, you're the motivator. How in the hell you get hooked on drugs. You didn't judge me. I say to speakers, who you are behind the words are far more important than the words that you speak. And so because of your compassion, when I'm training Work with speakers. I work first with the messenger and then the message and then the delivery. Because if it comes through the words that you. You speak, it comes through when you're speaking, that people can feel you or they can just hear you, and they hear you in their heart. But if you want to change an audience or change a person, you have to acknowledge that people are asking three questions when they see you. Who are you? What do you have? And can I trust you? Can I trust you? Can I trust you with my heart? Can I trust you with my secrets? There's a book years ago I read called why I'm afraid to tell you who I am because you might not like me. And that's all I've got. So this is Les Brown, the motivator, who talk about, if life knocks you down, try and land on your back, because if you can look up, you can get up. And I had to call my friend and say, hey, man, I'm dealing with something up in here. And I know you know, and you were so confident to me. You gave me strength. You said you could do this, man. And that. I mean, I knew I had my work cut out for me, and that meant so much to me. And I'm so honored to be here to serve you and your group, and I'm always available to you. I want us to finish life together. But you're too young. You know, when I was first diagnosed with prostate cancer, they said I was terminal. My mother had passed, and she came to dream. She had a great sense of humor. She said, baby, she said, I heard you have prostate cancer. She said, you said, you miss me. I'm looking forward to seeing you. I woke up, I said, not now, mama.

I ain't ready to see you yet.

I have to say something about just the. I mean, it's really interesting what you just said. What a great framework of the messenger, the message, then the delivery, the ability to convey and transfer belief to transferability. Like, I have a friend who's 60 years old who two weeks, six days ago, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. And I let him know you were coming down here, and he's like, I love Les Brown. And he's like, is there any way you can. Could connect me to him?

And I'd like to talk to him.

Yeah, you did. And, oh, yeah, the reason I bring this.

Did he tell you about our conversation?

Oh, he loved it. I mean, he left me a message last night, a group of closest friends. And this is a. Yeah, very successful dude. And he. I mean, he is in such a good state of mind right now. You know, he's also aware of the fact that he. This is not the cancer he want to get.

Right?

There's.

I mean, he's telling me about how he's met in the last week with supposedly the best pancreatic cancer doctor in the world. And he's like, it's across the board, the differences, where some will say, no matter what you do, you got two to five years, and others where it's like, you know, no, there's no limit. You know, he's like, it's so. He's talked to so many people, and he's tired and he's exhausted, and his wife, who's more along mainstream medicine, and he's very. But the fact is, that conversation with you literally changed the trajectory of this guy's behavior, his thought process. And the reason I bring this up is that when you can transfer belief, hope to other people, because I think hope is an interesting thing. Hope uses in false, superficial ways is like bullshitting people.

Yes.

There's damaging ways to use hope. And hope used in certain ways heals people. Right? And so the point is, you talk to this individual. And so it's not just a conversation, though you have developed this ability, which I know is part of what you do with other people. That's your business.

Right? But I asked him a key question. I said, why you want to be here? For his wife, for his children. When you think about man's search for meaning. And Viktor Frankl, he said, the Jews that survived the inexpressible cruelties of Nazism. And I went to Poland. I wanted to go to the place where Ann Ryan was. I went to Auschwitz because I work with a guy named Sam Axelrod, who was one of my early mentors. He said they either had some spiritual commitment they had with their lives or some loved one that they were determined to see or some reason that was bigger than them. And so once I found out that his reason was his family, I started talking about it from that point. I said, let me tell you something. Why are we going to do this? And notice. I said, why we're going to do this? I spoke from the end that we got this done. You got to stick a fork in it. Like you see a basketball game, a guy shoots a Baskin Curry, Steph Curry, and start running down court before they even hit the nets. All right? So that when we speak to people, we want to affirm that whenever I speak, I say again and again, you have something special. You've got greatness in you. You have the ability to do more than you can ever begin to imagine. What we're doing is we are breaking through all of the negative conversations that's in the collective consciousness of people. Your passion, your energy and the words that you use will dismantle and open up their mind where they begin to see. I want everybody to repeat after me, please. It's possible. It's possible. I want you to write this. I'm going to show you a model that you can use in any type of situation. So if you go get brought in to speak at a corporation, first you want to do a needs assessment. Find out their mission statement and find out what is it they're looking for. And then what I do at the top of your speech, what you want to do is paint the picture what they say their goals are in their mission statement and say it's possible. As you begin to look at the Genius Network, the goal and objective of changing the planet, of operating out of the thinking that as we face inevitable death one day we're going to leave here what in the meaning and purpose of our lives that will not be undone or destroyed when we are gone? The people that come here, the Genius Network, I want to say to you, Mr. Polish, that those people will be transformed. And the people's lives that they touch, they will be transformed. And this will have a rippling effect into the future that you don't get to see. Let us say together, it's necessary. It's necessary that as you decided to do this and get involved in doing the greater work, greater is he that's in you than he that's in the world that you decided I I got to do this. You got to. Ken helps it that you said. You said to yourself, I want to live a life that will outlive me. I've had a defining moment in my life that I'd lost myself in drug addiction. And then there was a defining moment that I said, this is not me. And I died. To who Joe was then to give birth to this Joe that you now see. And I decided it was a non negotiable with my life. I want to live a life that will make an impact. The things that I've gone through will not define me. They will refine me so I can live a life of contribution. Let us say together, it's you. It's me. George Bernard Shaw said, the people that make it in his life, they look around for the circumstances that they want and they can't find Them, they create them. And so you. You decided that I'm going to take a stand with my life, help us.

Understand the power of a story. You know this so well and why it's important for people to have that resonating story that just stops people in their tracks. How does that work?

Yeah, well, it's, you know, if you look around the world right now, especially in our country and other countries, we are so trusted, depleted, like, all time high. Gallup does a poll every year, and they measure the trust. And this is here in America. They measure the trust of America. And this was before the pandemic, the last I saw the last Gallup poll, and it was at its lowest level that it's ever been. Well, what do you think it is now, after the last 18 months or so? It is so low that we're not trusting the things that we always used to trust, which is like I remember trusting Walter Cronkite when he said we landed on the moon. I remember that. We trust people in white coats, right? We trust celebrities, we trust leaders. Now we don't. It's at the very lowest. And who is going to be the one, right? So I'll just say it's going to be us here today, right? Who is going to be the people that restore the trust that has been eroded over time? That is the storyteller. Because right when somebody opens their mouth and they begin to share a personal story about them, about their life, the trust level for the audience now ticks up and they start to drop their guard. You can feel it, you know, you start to feel it already. If I said this, if I started this, Michael, by saying, hey, you guys, I got this daughter, her name's eloise and she's 17, just turned 17, right when I say that, right when I say that, everybody's trust level goes like this.

Oh.

Oh, that's like me. I had a daughter, she was 17 once, or I never had a daughter, and so I miss having a daughter. It doesn't matter if they have an Eloise or not, the trust level, their guard starts to drop and the trust level goes up. So now we start to connect with each other, because you're seeing your life inside of the storyteller's life, and in this case, that's me, right? So if I say, I've got a son, his Name's Axel, he's 14. You see, your son, not mine, you're now in your own life, which is where every audience wants to be. They want to be put into their own Life. The only way to do that is to share something personal about you. And in this world, if indeed we're at the lowest level of trust that there's ever been, there's only one group that can restore it. That is the storyteller. So we better get on that and we better get on it now if we intend to lead this world going forward.

Yeah, yeah, I love that. And I was sharing with the group earlier this morning, Beau, about a view that I have of storytelling, and you just mentioned it, which is that there are times when the story of the person telling this, like, I was never in the NFL. The odds are I never will be. But when I hear you talk about your journey to having that happen and being one of the best, I can locate my life in your story. Like I'm learning about you. But at the same time, it's a mirror. It's a mirror. What's the difference between telling a story in such a way that the person learns about you and it serves as a mirror versus I heard a story and I couldn't even find myself in it. Is there a difference?

Yeah, because if you, you know the difference. I mean, we're all really alert, present human beings, so we recognize somebody who is bragging or trying to tell a story, to brag. Like, if I came on here and I go, hello, everybody at Genius Network.

Hello.

I am a former NFL player. You're like, f you, man. You don't care. No one cares. They care about what moves the dial, like how you got there. Was that a dream when you were a kid? Was there a lot of obstacles in the way? What are the odds of somebody becoming that kind of player if you start to expose those things and it's very personal to you. Like, if I was to tell you that story, I would say, when I was nine years old, I had this dream, you guys. And so I stole some school paper and some crayons and I drew up this 20 year plan and I followed that plan for 20 years. And the whole way everybody said, no way, Bo, you're too small. You know, pro players don't come from this city. No pro players come from the high school you came to. No pro players come from the college you came, you know you come from. That's not going to happen. And I say, oh, but it's still my dream. That's personal to me, you guys. But it puts you in your life. Isn't that weird? Like, it puts my butt Bo's but at risk because it's personal. If you share Things from a distance. Like you've got distance. You know, who does this all the time? Who we don't trust? The news media does this. And politicians do this. Nothing's personal to them. So when you see them talk, and you know they must have authority because they're standing behind a podium or behind a desk with, you know, a lot of graphics and they're well known, why don't you trust them? Why don't you listen to them? Why can't you hear them? Here's why.

Hey, I hope you're enjoying this video. And I want to let you know that I have a new book that's come out. And if you'd like to get it absolutely free, there's a link below in the description. Or you can wait till the end of this video or you can Simply go to joe'sfreebook.com and you can get a copy there.

Nothing is personal to them. Nothing has their ass on the line. Nothing is exposing them. If I share my dreams with you and you share your dreams with me, that's automatic exposure. Automatic, because it puts you in a really vulnerable place if you share your, like, dreams with me and how you got your ass kicked the whole way. Look, not only are we one, we become one, you and me. This mirror effect. I'm now going to fight for your dreams. Isn't that crazy to think of? I'm now going to get on board with you and fight for your dreams. If the politicians learn this, you like, they'll be dangerous, right? If the news people, if they learn this, they're going to be dangerous. And they come to me, these groups all the time to train, and I always say no, because here's the thing, storytelling, just so you know, it works. And it has worked since time, but it also works if you're out for good, but it works if you're out for evil. I'll give you a couple examples. Hitler, great storyteller, amazing storyteller. Osama bin Laden, amazing storyteller. You found yourself inside the story they were telling at the time they told that story. That's how they got people to do what they wanted to do. I mean, in certain cases, a lot of people, right? So I know the effect of storytelling. And whenever that side comes to me, I say, absolutely not. Because I know the effect that they can have. Well, you and me, we're out for people. Out for helping people, out for making people the greatest they can possibly be. Well, you and me better be armed with our own personal story so that we can have People follow us, trust us, and we can make their or help make their dreams realized. And that's what we're here to do.

Yeah, yeah. Well, and things, you know, things like caring or just like in street language, like giving a crap.

Right.

It's gotta be real. I mean, you have long standing relationships in business and with big firms teaching financial advisors the kind of stuff we're talking about. And the thing I always say in my advisory work around coaching founders and advising founders about their original incident, about the transparency required to create connection, is you're not telling your story as a strategy or a tactic. If you tell it as a tactic, I think it falls apart immediately because people hear the financial incentive behind why you would even tell it. But like everyone in this room is, you know, there's all different businesses in Joe's group, as you know, but everybody here is in business to help their clients in some way and they care very much about what they do. And I think telling a story from a point of caring is when it really matters. To your point, there's something that there's emotions, there's at stake, but doing anything, whether any emotional position or expression or any story as a tactic, I think just loses all its capability. Would you agree?

100%. People are really smart. They smell a rat in about two seconds, you walk on the stage or you come on camera, they smell a rat. Like you're, like you have some preamble before you start. That's kind of a manipulation like you want them. You know what I'm going to do today? I'm going to make the audience feel this way. Well, that's not your job to manipulate the way they feel. Your job is to expose yourself so they can drop their guard. Especially now. Think about it. Think about the lack of trust that we have. They won't even listen to you. They will walk away as soon as they smell that inauthenticity. And if you're not willing to expose, you know, your dreams and your family's dreams and what you're about in an honest, straight up way, they're going to walk away. But if you do tell a story and you share yourself, and I'm not saying you have to be a perfect speaker, I'm certainly not make every mistake in the book, but at least I'm given my all, you know, that that gets rewarded. And I'll tell you what, there's. I was told this the other day, there's one thing rewarded in our lifetime. Courage. Courage is always rewarded. And it has been since Time. Well, manipulating people and keeping people at bay from you, like keeping a distance from people, that's. That's got no courage to it. But dropping your guard and allowing them in to your life and them allowing you into theirs and exposing your weaknesses, that's true courage. Like a warrior enters the ring and what's the first thing a warrior does? He puts his shield to the side, his sword to the other side, and exposes his heart or her heart and stands there in front of the enemy and goes, you know what? If you're going to take my heart, go ahead, but I'm going to be here, I'm going to be standing, always rewarded. So if you're trying to guard your heart, and we usually do this in a physical way by doing this with our hands. If you guys. Yeah, you guys can see my hands. You know, you'll see people speak and they'll do this with their hands. And this is an unnatural human move. Unless you're trying to protect your heart, don't do this first thing. The only people who do this, by the way, Michael, are public speakers who are trying to protect themselves or weathermen and women. If you notice your local weathermen and women, the first thing they do is they go, hello. Well, in Los Angeles today, it's going to rain. It never rains in Los Angeles. But I'm going to protect my heart just in case. And you don't trust the weatherman, the weather woman anymore. As soon as somebody takes the stage and goes, hi, my name is Bo Eason. I'm going to be your speaker today. This is speaking so much louder than my voice. This is saying everything you need to know about Bo. Oh, Bo doesn't trust himself and he's afraid we're going to have judgment on him and break his little heart into pieces. Therefore, I don't trust a man who doesn't trust himself. So, you guys, courage is the thing that's always rewarded. So if you're about to fall apart before the camera turns on or you just are like, have no confidence when you walk out on stage, I don't care. I love it because that's a courageous act to begin with. And that's the only. And that's the last connective tissue that we have left in our lifetimes. So we better use it. We better use our humanity to reconnect a world that will not trust each other.

I love it. I love it so much. And full disclosure, one of the gentlemen in the room today nailed me very compassionately for kind of like playing with My hands in front of my body half the morning. So what you're saying resonates 100%.

Yeah. My clients, Michael, my clients bus me all the time at my own training. Like I'll put my hands in my pockets. Like if we're having a beer in a bar after, after the training, I'm like, got one hand on a beer and one hand in my pocket. And they're like, hey man, why are you apologizing? Why you got your hand in your pocket? So it's just a physical thing that we all do as human beings to subtly apologize for our own power. And this is just what I don't want anymore for anybody to do. I don't mind the non courageous doing it because they don't have any courage anyway. But when the people that I work with or the people that you work with, Michael, or the people that Joe works with, I don't want them apologizing for anything because we're out there fighting for the good of people, of the best of people.

Yeah, yeah. So wonderful. You know, let's talk for a few minutes about what it means to be the best. And as you know, this is a group of high achievers and a lot of people in here are among the best or the best at what they do. Sometimes it's hard to know who's among the best and who's the best. Right. We actually have, other than yourself, another world class athlete in the room here in Arizona, which is Whitney Jones, who was just for the third time crowned Miss Fitness Olympia. And we acknowledged her earlier and we talked a little bit about the ironclad mindset that enables mastery of, of the physical self. Right. It reminded me of the story you've told many times in front of your group, where I've had the honor to be present and participate a few times. And you referenced it before, about your high school for all the years before, all the years since, nobody's been to a pro, nobody made it to a pro sport, certainly not to the NFL or maybe any other league. But when you were there, there were, and maybe with your brother Tony as well. But certainly your mindset and your commitment to what your plan was elevated some people around you. Right. And so that happens in a business also, I would suggest. Right. But what is the dynamic when you are ironclad about what is going to be happening in your future? What is the dynamic that elevates the people around you either to a similar goal or even more like tangibly to this group in a business? And people get on Board that train. It's like Francis Ford Coppola says, the biggest challenge in making a movie is getting everyone to make the same movie. So it's like, how does your ironclad mindset or how did it and how does it elevate those around you?

Yeah, it's so true. That is 100% true. So in my case, you know the story that Michael referenced, I went to a high school that had like 280 kids. It was a little country farm, all farmers kids, right, that went to school there. So I played football. 27 farm boys were on my high school football team, right? And there's never been a pro athlete of any kind come from my high school in 100 years, not before I got there, not since I left, right? So there's never been one. And the odds of playing Pro Football are 0.03%, 0.03%. High school football players play pro football, right? So the odds aren't great. But the high school I went to, who never had any kind of athlete in 100 years, four of us, four of the 27, which is statistically impossible, all played pro football and two of them played in the Super Bowl. Four guys out of 27 with the, with the odds of 0.03 of every high school football player. That was the odds, right? So how do you explain that? And I, I was shocked. I didn't even think anything of it. I just thought that most people played pro football. I didn't realize that the statistics were so bad. I didn't realize that there was no way I was playing pro football and there was no way my brother was, and there was no way two of my best friends were, but it happened. So I asked them and I asked the rest of the team, why did this happen? This is at a 30 year career, a 30 year reunion, Michael. So we're at a 30 year reunion. I went around to the guys and I said, why did this happen? This is a statistical impossibility. And they all said the same thing. They all said it was that damn plan that you were walking around with. I carried around. And some of you have seen it. A plan that is 50 years old now, 51 years old now, and it says that I'm to be the best safety in the world, right? But no one thought that was going to happen. But I just kept saying it and saying it. And at the 30 year reunion, what happened was these guys said, well, I just thought, you know, you were like, you weren't the biggest player, you weren't our best player, but you're committed to this piece of paper. And so they said to themselves, well, shit, if Bo, you know, being the size that he is, is going to play pro football, then I certainly am, too. And so that drug, three guys who maybe wouldn't have thought of it on to play in the NFL against those odds. So I thought to myself, after those 30 years, like, damn, I'm going to do the same thing again. I'm going to do it again. I'm going to keep doing it. I'm going to keep telling people my dream. And even though it's impossible, and what I have found out is people go with you. They go with you wherever you're going. Now, your dream might be different than other people, but they see that you're kind of unreasonable about your own dream. And you've got a loyalty not to the culture and not to the odds of you achieving it, but you have a loyalty to the piece of paper. And I have found that if you just stay loyal to that, instead of what the odds tell you or what people tell you or what the news media might tell you, then that dream, you will end up with a gold medal around your neck. And then what? The most shocking part of it all, Michael, is so will the people closest to you. The people who. People will eliminate themselves, of course, from your presence. They will. Because, you know, that ain't easy. Gold medals are just not easy. As you all know. Being an entrepreneur and reaching the very pinnacle, that ain't easy. There's a lot of skinned knees, there's a lot of bloody noses, and there's a lot of people who extricate themselves from you. But if you hang in there and you stay loyal to that original vision, that original dream, not only will you have a gold medal around your neck, everybody you admire and respect will have one, too. And I said that, you know what? That's the coolest thing ever.

So.

And then, Michael, let me just say this one thing, too. And it's true of my life. It's true of everybody's life that's ever done this. So my son Axel, he's 14 now, so he's a freshman in high school. So we took him out of the high school he was in and put him in one that the most elite athletes are at, right? Because his dream, his ultimate dream is to be. If his dream is going to come true, you guys, he's going to have to end up being maybe the best athlete we've ever had if it's to come true. So if he's around people who are better than him and are a step and a half ahead of him. I know that's going to be painful for him. It's going to be painful for me and my wife and, you know, the rest of the family. But if that's his dream, that's the only way to get there. Because if he's the best athlete at 14 at his high school, he ain't gonna make it because he goes to a high school called Sierra Canyon. So LeBron James kid is on that basketball team, Dwyane Wade's kid is on that basketball team. Scottie Pippen's kid is on their basketball team. And Now Axel, a 14 year old, is going to be standing among them and getting his butt kicked. Right, at the age of 14. But what does it look like for him at the age of 21? You can't be the best. You guys at 14, you've got to surround yourself with a demanding situation. That's the only way, right? And that's why this group is so great. And that's why, Michael, your group is the same way. When you go into Genius Network and you go into Consumer Health Summit, you go in and now you're sitting in what my dad used to call tall cotton. He goes, boy, I want you standing in tall cotton. And when you're standing in tall cotton, you gotta rise to the occasion or you're gonna get stickers all on you. You got to rise above and you've got to be. That's a demanding situation. And it's the only situation that's going to demand you adapt. If you're the best in the room, you're the smartest in the room, you know, your body will not adapt. Well, what's the one thing us human beings are the best in the world at? Automatically, naturally, we have proved over time that were the best at adaptation to demanding situations. Whether that's weather or lack of food or lack of mates, you and me know how to adapt. So for me, I wish my kid had an easier time, but he should have chosen easier dream. But now he is getting his butt kicked by guys who are better than him or faster than him, who are bigger than him. So what is that demand of my son? He's got to rise, he's got to adapt to the demanding situation that his dream requires. Well, now let's look at us, let's look at us, let's look at our jobs. If you're the best and you're shoulder to shoulder and you look and you laugh, oh, I'm in Consumer Health Summit. Oh, shit, there's Ann Shippy over there. Oh, shit, there's, you know, Dr. Mark Harmon over there. You're like, damn, I didn't know shit. I thought I knew. I don't know anything now, now that I'm standing among this. But I got to rise, and my body will adapt, and now I'll be better. Walking out of here, that's what you must surround yourself with. But it is the most humiliating thing in the world to do. But it's the only way to get to the top. And then I'll finish with this. Once you're there, once you're at the top, and every Olympic champion knows this, you're no longer at the top. Once you're at the top, you're just at the bottom of the next summit, right? Because there's some young person or some smarter person or somebody's willing to outwork you right on your tail. And that's the beauty of this thing. I'm not saying it's like the funnest. If funnest is a word, it's not the funnest life, right? But I think it's what we're made to do. And it's a life worth living. That. And that's the best. The beauty of the best, Michael, is you just never get there.

Born in Boston, my mom had a high school sweetheart. She had two kids. Everything was great, except for he robbed banks. For 11. He went to prison. While he was in prison, she met my dad, a local drug dealer. She had four more kids and six kids by dad. Everything's great, except my dad had a habit of beating up my mom. So I grew up in a house where I watched my mother be beat routinely. And I didn't know that this wasn't normal because I didn't live in your house. This is just what I know. And you just deal with it. You come home, there's crying and screaming. You come home and there's cookies on the table. You're sitting at the table eating dinner, everything's great. And dad reaches over, this slug's mom. And you get used to it. In the 70s, it wasn't called domestic violence. It was called handling your household. And that's what I grew up in. I finally got old enough to go to school. I jumped on a bus and I went to the school. I'm playing. I'm like, I'm the kid that came home missing clothes. So if I didn't come home missing clothes, I didn't have a Great day. I come home like, where's your shoe at? I'm like, I don't know, but I had a great day, Mom. Come home with somebody else's jacket on. That's not. Hey, Mom, I had a great day. I mean, I just love going to school because there's so many kids and they were different, and we could just play all day. And I got on the bus, we're coming home, we're laughing, we're joking. We hit the corner, and we're almost home. And the next, you know, rocks came crashing through our bus window. And behind the rocks came some names. First was nigger, then spare trucker. And I'm sitting on the bus and rocks are crashing. I fall to the floor. I'm a first grader. I'm a little kid. I'm crying. I'm watching my cousin bleed from his face because he got cut by the glass. We get home, I go into the house. I go up to the big guy, my dad. I said, who are these people? Because I never met white people before. Why are they throwing rocks at me? Nobody's ever thrown rocks at me before. And what are these names? I've never heard these names before. I need you to take a second and just be my dad. And your son walks into the house and says, dad, what do these names mean? Why are they calling me these names? Why are they throwing rocks in me, dad? My father looked at me, I looked at him. I'm waiting for the dad son interaction, and he walks away. And I'm left standing there, not understanding this. But I found out as an adult, my father grew up in a town called Petersburg, Virginia. And when he was 14, kids threw rocks, names at him. My grandfather told me, that's just the way it is, son. Protect your sisters and run faster. So when it happened to his kids, he was twice as traumatized. And that's just what it was. And one day the rock started, and one day the rock stopped. And for my mom, one day the beating started. One day the beating stopped. I came home from school and they said, dad's gone. What do you mean, dad's gone? He's gone. Single mom, six kids living in the city. You've seen the movie. If not, Jeff's gonna make it. And single mom, what do you do now? We bounce around. We try to find someplace. We find a new place, we go to a new school. And in the third grade, I find out something. I'm illiterate. I can't read and write, just like my dad. But it wasn't a problem, because I had a thing called the dummy class where they took all the little kids who couldn't read and stuck us at the end of the hall. And that's where they put me, at the end of the hall in the dummy class. And while I was in there, there was a teacher named Ms. Oliver who pulled me out of the dummy class. She said, you're not a dummy. You just learn differently. And she took the time to teach me my learning style. And when she. When I finished the third grade, I was on track. I got to middle school. I could read and write like the other kids. But I found out something in middle school. I was poor, so I had to go to the park after school to sell drugs, weed, to buy clean socks, and to buy new shoes and not be made fun of. And I did that. And by the time I got to high school, I was just a mess. I just went off the tracks. And I could give you the whole rundown of me crashing and bumping, going to jail. But at the end of the day, I ended up in state prison at 18 with 100 years sentence. And when I got there, the gang members received me. They said, we'll keep you safe, and we'll show you how this works. So for six years, I ran with the gangs, and I did everything gangs do. I stabbed people, I fought people. I fought on airplanes. You've seen Con Air. I've lived it. I've made them land planes twice. I was all in, 100%. Then I woke up one day, and I realized something. I'm the king of nowhere. I'm the king of nothing. Nobody cared that I was this king of this prison in the middle of nowhere. So I came up with a concept that I could do and be better. And I wanted to be successful. So I said, successful people go to college. So I'll go home and go to college, and that's what I'll be. So I picked a school called Harvard University. And when I picked it, I came out my cell the next day. I got the dudes got. I said, check this out, fellas. I figured it out. They said, what's up? So I'm going home. I'm going to Harvard. I'm going to be successful. They looked at me. So I said it again. I said, yo, I figured it out.

I'm going home.

I'm going to go to Harvard. I'm going to be successful. It was like, silence, like this. They wanted to laugh at me. They wanted to laugh at me. But I had a Habit of stabbing people. So nobody laughed. Then my buddy pulled me to the side and said, dre, what are you talking about? You can't go to Harvard. I said, why? He said, you're black. He said, you can't do this. He said, you're a gang member. He said, you're poor. You're one of us. This is our space. This is our allotment in life. I'm like, no, this is my dream. And I walked away from my friends. I went by myself, and I wrote out my little plan. I came up with a plan. I said, these are the things that I want. Harvard University. I looked in the mirror. I said, what's inside of me that's stopping this dream from happening? I stopped blaming other people. It's not my dad's fault. It's not my mom's fault. It's not the kids who threw rocks at me fault. What's inside of me that is stopping this from happening.

Hey, I hope you're enjoying this video, and I want to let you know that I have a new book that's come out, and if you'd like to get it absolutely free, there's a link below in the description. Or you can wait till the end of this video, or you can Simply go to joe'sfreebook.com and you can get a copy there.

I made a list of those things. I started working on them. I got my ged. Then I went to a thing called anger management class because I had a slight anger management problem. It wasn't bad. And after anger management, I started going to counseling. I started going to therapy. I started going everything that wasn't nailed down. I ran out of stuff, and they finally said. They took me to a thing called aa. I said, I don't drink, though. They said to sit down. They said, when you hear us talk about drinking, they're substituted for anger. They took me to na. They said, you hear us talk about drugs substituted for anger. They said, drake, you can't always get it perfect. You have to make work. What is. So everything that was there, I did. And for the next eight years of my life, 20 hours a day, I studied. On November 15, 1999, I walked out of prison. When I walked out, I had a goal and a dream to go to Harvard University and be successful. I went to a local juvenile center, and I started talking to kids. I told them, you're going to jail not because you're black. You're going to jail because somebody let you down, hurt your feelings, and you don't know how to handle that. So you act out and you start doing stuff and it's criminal. They lock you up. Let me show you how to handle your feelings. Then you'll be better. And every day for the first 90 days, I'm in that juvie center. And they said, hey, Dre, can you talk to the girls? I said, I don't know about being a girl. I went to the girls side. Molestation, beatings, domestic violence, drugs, prostitution. It was horrible. And I started talking to the girls on how they can be whole. And somebody said, hey, Dre, you're doing fabulous, but you're denying people. I said, I don't deny anybody. I work every day. They said, no, there's some kids you won't work with because they're white and their parents were want to pay you. I said, white kids ain't got no problems. This they country. They own everything. I'm saying they own the sports teams, they own the businesses. I mean, they own the White House. This is pre Obama. So it was everything. They said, no, Dre, you got to go. So I went to all white school. When I got there, it was like one of the night schools. I walked up, there was all these nice cars in the parking lot. So I came in, I said, your teachers are paid good. They said, no, those are the students cars. They make us park our back. They take me down to the auditorium, and all these kids start walking in with the little Abercrombie and the Tommy Hilfiger. I'm like, we'll probably your kids. And they come walking in. I'm like, look at these little rich brats. And I'm like, they got it too good. I shouldn't even be here. But as I talk to them, I figured something out. They do drugs at the white school. They drink at the white school. They have bullies at the white school. They have kids who don't fit in at the white school. Little girl came up to me. She showed me a wrist. She cuts me here to here. She said, this is what I do when people don't listen to me at the white school. And when I walked out of there, I was like, never again will I judge somebody based on my ignorance. If you call me, I'll show up. And that's really simple and straightforward. I started doing the work that I've been doing. I worked in Honduras. I worked in Guatemala. I've worked in Saudi Arabia. I became one of the top speakers in YPO and EO. I got my fellowship in 2015 at Harvard Law. School. And when they called me.

They gave.

Me Dr. Charles Ogletree, who was a phenomenal guy. He gave me my fellowship, and they gave me my email. Anormanarvard Law Edu. I cried because they said I couldn't do it, said it was impossible. I didn't call the homies and say, yo, y' all messed up. You bet on the wrong horse. I said, dude, I'm here, and I'm invited, and I'm welcome. What do you want to do? Where do you want to go? If I can get here, you can get wherever you want to. And I just kept working. I've been working. I've been working all the way through, and it was probably six years ago. Every single day, you know me, I'm at somebody's door, talking to somebody's kid, talking to somebody's cousin, talking to somebody's husband or wife. I'm there every day. I wake up because I know what it's like to not have. What drives me is I'm that guy that didn't have that person who didn't have the time. I can't say no to that next kid because I'm tired. Or I did 30 kids already or 20 adults. No, that next kid is me. So I'm always going to show up. And I unfortunately, burnt out. I got stressed out, and I just fell apart. And I had a group of people that I didn't even know, my friends. EO is ypo is tired of reaching out to me every single day and saying, dre, don't give up. Dre, don't quit. Call it depressed, call it what you want. And they finally brought me back, and they got me started again. They said, dre, I started selling real estate in Atlanta. They called me St. Louis. They sat me down and said, dre, what are you doing? I'm selling real estate. It's an honest business. Grant Cardone does it. It works. I saw the commercial. He was like, no, Dre, that's not what you do. Sell real estate. You help people. I said, nah, I'm good with that. That didn't work out last time. They said, you can't be a quitter. And they said, we're going to start you up again. And they said, okay, cool. Now, I got a call from some lady. She said, hey, I want you to do this podcast. I said, cool. Where? She said, I'm in Phoenix. I said, if you're going to do me on a podcast, I'll fly to Phoenix. She said, that's what we can do.

Your own.

I said, I'll fly. If you're going to do that for me, I'll show up. So I showed up to Phoenix, and I'm sitting with the lady. I said, how did you find me? She said, this guy named John Rulin sounded a blast. And I saw you. I said, okay. As I pulled my phone out, I said, yo, John, I'm here with you people. I'm about to do this podcast. Like, 30 seconds later, my phone. I don't know that lady. What are you doing? She's on my list. I said, what's the list? He said, man, get away from her. I said, well, she ain't gonna kidnap me, dude. I'm all right. He said, well, since you're there, I'm gonna call around and introduce you to some people. So he starts calling people, saying, hey, my buddy Dre's in town. And Michael Bernoff called me, and he called me out of courtesy, you know, nice white guy. Hey, Dre, I'm busy. I can't meet with you. I would have just not called personally, but I don't have. Y' all have all these manners and things. So he called me and said, dre, I got a call from John. I really don't know him, but I can't meet with you, but maybe next time. I said, okay, no problem. Question for you. He said, what's that? I said, is there anybody here I can help? He says, what do you mean? I said, I do interventions. Is there anybody here I can help? He said, by the way, my wife's best friend's son is struggling with suicide. And I said. He said, can you work with 15 white kids? I sure can. Got in the car, drove to Mike's house, met the wife, and we got in the car, we went to the young man's house. I went in, I sat him down, I talked to him. Twenty minutes later, he walked out. He apologized to his sister for being a butt head, apologized to his mother for being out of control. And he said, let's go to treatment. And he got in the car and he went to treatment. That was four years ago. And I saw that gentleman about six months ago, and he's doing phenomenal, and his whole life is better. Then Mike said, hey, I got a guy you have to meet. I said, who? He said, joe Polish. The Ellen said, joe Polish. He says, don't worry about it. He called. He said, he took me to this little thing in Scottsdale. And we walk into the thing in Scottsdale, this white guy come flopping him with Yoga pants. I'm like, what a little ball do with yoga pants on. He comes in, he looks at me, I'm looking at. I'm looking at him like, really? We started talking and three minutes in the conversation, he says, he went right to me. He says, I see you're hurting. What is the problem? I said, well, I went through this stuff and I'm starting my life over. He says, what does it cost you to live in Atlanta? I said, what it was? He said, I'm gonna write you a check for five months at that rate. Come by my office tomorrow and pick it up. I'm like, what's this? So I go to the office on Rural Road. I come in, he writes me a check and he says, this is my office. It's called a genius now. He said, by the way, we're having a meeting tomorrow if you want to come stop in. So I came to the genius meeting on Thursday, and I'm just downstairs mulling around, and most of you wouldn't talk to me like, who's a strange black guy? No, I'm just. So I'm standing there and I saw somebody at the desk and I said, what's the problem? They said, my brother is stressed out. He's in the street right now and he's on drugs. I said, give me his number. I got him. I went out, talked to him, got him in treatment. I did three interventions that first day, and the second day I did two more. And then there was one guy who called me from California. They put me in touch with. He's like, yo, my son's missing.

He.

He's out here doing drugs. I said, I get on a plane, I leave Phoenix, I come and I come find your son. I get him treatment. He says, well, who are you? I said, I'm Andre. He said, where you come from? I said, the penitentiary. So he's like, well, what is it going to cost me? I said, nothing. He said, I got a 6 foot 2 black guy who just got out of jail. Gang members going to come to my suburban neighborhood and go find my lost son in my Benz. He says he couldn't make and for free. That was a real problem. If I'd have gave him a price, he might have been okay for free. He couldn't make for free make sense. And I'm like, I got you. I said, dude, I'll come, I'll come, I'll come. And he said, well, can we do it next week? He kept saying, can we do it next week? I'm like, Dude, I'm in Phoenix. I live in Atlanta. It's a shorter trip. And I finally said, okay, we'll do it next week. And that Monday, I got a phone call. His son had odd. And the lesson was, next week might not come. And when I sat with Joe, and I've been sitting with Joe, I know him. I got to know him. And his heart is really simple. He wants to help people. And when he saw me, he didn't judge me. He didn't ask me. He just helped me. And the way I met Joe was based on a premise that he teaches. Life gives to the giver. Had I not said to Michael Bernoff, if there's somebody I can help? Oh, you can't meet with me. I gotta find a connect. I gotta find a plug. No, is there somebody I can help? Is how I got to this room. Being willing to give without any anticipation of return. And since I gave that to Mike and his family and their friends, I ended up meeting Joe. And since I've met Joe from day one to day now, it's always been, who can we help? There's no other agenda. Since I've been here for three and a half years, it's been, who can we help? The first time I stood on this stage, I had an orange jumpsuit on. And I told you I was wearing this jumpsuit because it was my shame. It was my prison jumpsuit. I was so shameful and embarrassed of having been in prison that I never wanted to put that thing on again. Joe thought it was me. Good. He's like, I'm a marketer. Go with me. He said, dre, this is going to be great. I said, dude, jump, jump. Put it on. I'm like, joe, no. He's like, dre, trust me. I'm like, I love you, but trust is different. Just put on a jumpsuit, Dre. So, as you know, for those who were there two years ago, I came out with the jumpsuit on, and it touched something in me which helped me connect better with the people who were in the audience that I was sharing with, because I wanted you to know I was hurting. And I don't ever want to forget. So I stand here today from head to toe in Lululemon.

What makes, in your mind, people successful at speaking and what causes them to fail?

Well, I think the answer to the first question is, what makes a successful speaker? It's one word, results. Just think about that. I mean, if we think of the great speakers in our nation's history, John F. Kennedy, what did he Say we're going to land a man on the moon in 10 years and bring him home safely. What was the result? We landed a man on the moon and brought him home safely. Ronald Reagan said, gorbachev, tear down that wall. And what happened? The wall was turned down. Martin Luther King said, you know, I have a dream. And what happened with the civil rights movement? Look at the results those three speakers got with the words that they used. So that's what you need to think of as a communicator. What are the results that you're going to get? And one of the things in this system that I've developed is I've tried to create tools and ideas that are so doable, so simple and easy to use. And I framed them around a word, a sentence that you taught me, Joe, that little hinges swing big doors, that little tweaks, just like opening with no have feel. So let me share with you as a listener, one of the other little tweaks you could think of. So let's say if I said to you, joe, I can help you earn more money. Now that sounds like a good statement, but you're probably pretty broke right now. Or if I said, joe, I can help you get in better shape, chances are you're probably not in very good shape now. But if I add one word in front of better or more. So here's the tool. Anytime you use the word better or more, put in even.

So.

Let me give you that statement again. Joe, I can help you earn even more money. Joe, I can help you get in even better shape. Look how the tone of that message completely changes by giving your listener credit. Now that doesn't mean they can't get in better shape, but it means that they're already doing something in the right direction. And just that word, even so, in working with so many of our members of Genius Network on their presentations, just putting little tweaks like that, it's simple stuff. But it's taken me 46 years to figure these things out by watching and critiquing over 10,000 speakers and seeing how little things like that can make a difference. So think about just little tweaks, easy things.

No, I totally agree. The interesting thing about what you just said, the psychology behind it is that most of the self help books are what's wrong with you and how to fix it versus what's right with you and how to enhance it. Whenever you approach someone in that way, it's way less threatening and it's more validating and they become more open to Hearing what it is you have to say. So that framing that you did is really powerful. And one thing I learned from you early on is you made this analogy that I've talked about quite a bit where you said if you had a beautiful or valuable painting and you duct taped it to the wall without any lighting, versus if you put it in a frame and you put it in a museum and you had great lighting, all of a sudden it's just a completely different context. So much of what we teach at I love marketing with the eight profit activators before, during, after education based marketing, all of the stuff is really about how to frame and position what it is you do. And then our friend Jason Flatland has this great line where he's like, anything that you're selling, you want to put information in front of it. Well, people have to communicate in order to do that. So I want to, I want to ask you about what are some things that everyone here could do to frame their message in way now you've already, you're already talking about. I mean, we're right in the middle of having a whole conversation. All of this is about framing.

Right.

But I want you to really speak and elaborate a little bit more on that because I think it's so important for people to get that context.

Well, let's just pick the subject that this podcast is about. About marketing. So just imagine this was your presentation and you're going to talk to the audience that we have tonight about the three most important things they need to know about marketing.

Okay?

So remember what Ben said. When I started working with Ben three years ago, he had so much information, he had so many great ideas. But we narrowed it down to three things, just three things, so it was easy to follow. And I think that's one of the best ways to frame it is since we're here to talk about marketing and all of these books and seminars that have been done and all the years, Joe, that you've studied these things, I boiled it down to the three most important things that you need to know. So let's start off with number one. And we talk about number one. And one other suggestion is, especially when you're doing an interactive thing like we are, is just like you're interrupting me. Not interrupting, but adding things or asking questions.

No, I'm interrupting you.

I know you're not interrupting. We're having a discussion. When you have a conversation, it's a two way street. Even though we have hundreds of people listening to us, they can still text in. And I'm sure we'll have some other questions coming up. But when we have this back and forth discussion, it's important. Before we go on to idea number two, does anybody have any questions about what we covered on idea number one? Because this is a tool in our ultimate speaking system. Don't continue with point two if somebody's brain is stuck on point one and they have something that's holding them back. So let's get any questions out.

Good.

Okay, now let's go to idea number two. Idea number three. And since we're talking about structuring a message, we know we have to have an opening, something that grabs them. Then we have to have our content, and then we have. And this is where people get confused. They confuse a closing and a call to action, and they're completely different things. The call to action, in my experience and opinion, should never be the close. The call to action should be. Should precede the close. And the closing is like the bull on a package. It's an impacting story. It's an emotional connection. It's a reinforcement of a key point. It's something that leaves the audience with a wow. Not a call to action. Sign up for my course. Get my book. No. So let's just say that Ben was going to make a presentation on his book and he said, you can go to Audible, you can get the book here, you can go to Amazon. Okay, that's his call to action. Then what if he said, on page 116, I tell a story about this man and his wife, and then he uses something from that book as a story to drive home the point. And of course I'm making this up. I don't know what's on that page if there's a story about a man or woman in the book.

But.

And then if he said, and that man or that woman could be you, your personality isn't permanent. Your personality isn't permanent. Now go out and make it a great day. That's a closing. That's a wrapping up of his message that he would have given to us if we had more time and we could understand what he was saying in the middle of nowhere. But that's one of the ways to structure it, is to make sure you're very clear in your mind. And one of the things Earl Nightingale taught me in the three years we spent together, the last three years on our planet, that he passed on in 1989. So he moved here in 1986, and I took him fishing a number of times. He was up on our Houseboat at Lake Powell was. He described the idea of moving a message from your mind to the mind of the audience. And if you numbered all of the pieces in your mind and could move them like blocks of a building to the mind of your audience when you got finished, they would see the same picture that you see in their mind. And that's what you can do to be an even better communicator. Get a clear picture in your mind what your message is. And what picture do you want this to create for your listeners? And my picture for you as you've tuned in to this I Love Marketing meetup is what Joe started with. I had no idea what he was going to say to me, but that speaking is a learned skill. And it is not about you. It's all about your audience. And it's being you. It's being who you are, not a performance. And you know, so many times people think when they're going to hire a speech coach, he's going to talk about how to make gestures and how to use your voice and how to use your eyes. That's ridiculous. I mean, most of the people that are listening to this are over 30 years old. You've spent 30 years being you. Why would you want to be somebody else? And then if somebody sees you in your business off the stage or off a video, they think, well, who are you? You're not the guy that I talked to or listened to or connected to. And that's what again, about Dean and Joe. All the time I see you both speaking. You are always the same. You're Joe and Dean. What you see is what you get. And that's so wonderful. And every one of you has that. You have your own. You just be you.

I think it's important to make this distinction too, that when people think about speaking that they may think, well, I'm not going to do any public speaking or I don't speak to audiences or get up on stage and speak. But everything that you're talking about in terms of all the skills that you share with people, the structure, the formatting of your message, the gathering your thoughts of how to convey it, even words like thinking about those building blocks that no matter what, whether you're speaking in front of a crowd or you're speaking in the boardroom at your company, or you're speaking one on one in a sales presentation or conversation with somebody, the better you are at being able to organize your thoughts and present them in a way that conveys the real communication to the person that the only One that matters, the one person that you're talking to that's really the bigger picture of what it is that you're helping people do.

Yeah.

Could I call on one of our members to add to what you just said? Because when you said. I thought of Jennifer Carroll and how the message that she created about prostate cancer from her husband. And I hope Jennifer is still here. I saw her earlier. Jen, are you still on?

Hi, Joanne.

Hi. Well, first of all, Jen and I go way back, and she was one of my first coaching clients that I've worked with over these, what, 15 years, maybe, plus.

Plus.

And when you lost your husband to prostate cancer and you wanted to get onto this movement, we worked on this presentation of yours and how it's not all about Phil, it's about them. And just in a short version about getting checked and the coach up in Canada, the hockey coach. So could you share how you were able to do what Dean was saying about structuring and organizing your ideas? Because Jennifer Carroll is a ball of energy. She's going in all different directions, and you found out very quickly that doesn't work in speaking, that your audience needs to be able to follow your message, and that's what you've done with your talk. So take over.

Jen definitely resonated with me when you said you want to have your close. Have your wow story after your clothes, and you help.

After the call to action. After the call to action, yes.

The story that I had that I shared with you, and we left it in the very end, was that I went to visit my son, and I tried. My son, my husband passed away of prostate cancer. So I was speaking to people all over the world about having health number one and treating health number one and getting checked. That was my ba dum bum. And that was my call to action. It's just, go get checked. And so I told the story about how I went to visit my son who plays professional hockey up in Canada. And as I was there, my late husband was very sick at the time, and I was just going up to see Austin and bring him home to see his father for what ended up being the last time. And while I was there, one of his coaches came up to me after one of the games, and he said to me, hi, Jen. Give me a condolences. I hope your husband's doing well. And by the way, what does he have? And I said, prostate cancer. And he said, whoa, prostate cancer? Really? I'm sorry. I thought he was fighting for his life, and I thought everyone survived prostate cancer. And I said, well, yeah, if you get checked, you can be one of the 97% of the men in the world that survive prostate cancer. But Phil, he. Yeah, he wasn't that guy. He didn't really believe in going to the doctor. You know, he didn't like to. You know, he didn't go in there. He didn't want to go and get checked. And this. He looked at me and he said, oh, I'm sorry. And I went home and I took Austin home, and he said goodbye to his dad. And sadly, Phil passed away shortly after. And fast forward a couple months, I was back in Canada, and I was watching my son play another hockey game, and up comes Coach Jeff. And he gave me his condolences. He said, I'm sorry to hear that your husband passed away. It's very tragic. And he said, but I want you to know I went in and I got checked. And you know me, and you told me to not be afraid, and you told me that you didn't care if I was afraid and you didn't care if you didn't want to go, and you didn't care about all those things that you wanted me to have the opportunity to watch my son live out his dream and walk my daughter down the aisle and that my husband wasn't going to have the chance because he was home and he was dying. And then you looked at me and you pointed your finger in my face and you said, you go in and you bend over and you take it like a man. He said, get it? Woke me up and I went in and I went in and I saw the doctor and I bent over and I took it like a man. And I need to tell you that today. And you know what? When I was in there and the doctor was putting on my glove, I said, doc, I'm doing this for a woman, and it's not my wife. And it engaged people in laughter, which, of course, it's a tough subject matter. And I. And I'll tell you, you ask anyone at Genius Network if I stand up, I'm the bend over and take it like a man gal. And it's not maybe what I thought my legacy would be, but it's okay as long as it gets men bending over and taking it like a man and hopefully save some lives through this shared. But thank you.

Can you see the impact of that closing? To put the rapture on this message about prostate cancer and getting checked? It's one thing to say how important it is, but putting it in a story after the call to action is what made Jennifer's closing so powerful. So thank you, sweet lady, for sharing that, and we will talk again. Joe, let's go back to you.

Oh, thank you.

That was great.

Okay. I hope you found that video awesome and useful. So if you want to get a free copy of my book, I want you to click here. And if you want to watch some more videos that will be useful and awesome, click here.

Go ahead.

They're over here.

Do it now. Come on.

Thank you.

Watch them.