If you Feel Stuck In Your Life, Do This! Feat. Jim Kwik

So limitless is not about being perfect. It's really about advancing and progression, you know, going beyond what you believe is possible, what you're currently demonstrating. And so everyone, I want everyone just to think in your mind. You don't have to share with people at the table. Think about an area where you're not advancing. Your health, your make this, you know, you can write it in your. In your notes, your health, your relationship, your career, your level of impact, your income. Where. Where are you not making progress? Where do you feel stuck.

Now?

Where do you feel like you're in a box. Now, that box is defined by three dimensions, right? It's three dimensional. So the three forces that contain that box are the same three forces that will liberate you out of that stuck state. And I call this the limitless model. So imagine a Venn diagram. Everyone draw out a Venn diagram. Three intersecting circles. Can I do this?

Yeah. Yep.

All right, so sorry. I feel most of them like this. All right, so think about where you're in a box. It's three dimensional and you're stuck. So these are three M's, right? The last M are the methods. And we all, we come to events because you want to learn the methods for marketing, for direct sales, for social media, for crypto, whatever it is that is constantly being updated. But my thing is people don't do this and why, right? And this, by the way, when you look at this framework really quickly, I would invite you to actually look at this if you're limited, using this framework for your team, using this framework for you and a prospect to invest in your business or to buy. So the first M here, I'm making three M's because I kind of obsessive like alliteration. The first M is your mindset. And your mindset are the set of assumptions and attitudes you have about something. Functionally, it would be things like your attitudes and assumptions about money. Your attitudes. And I guarantee when I go through this, you could see yourself in this. Really. Well, three things I would put in here what I believe is possible. Even write that down. What I believe is possible is part of your mindset. What I believe I'm capable of. You could believe it's possible for somebody else in the room, but not believe it's possible for you. And that will keep you stuck in that box. What I believe I deserve, if you want to get really raw in terms of being a thermostat so somebody can learn a great method on how to remember names. But if their mindset is I'M stupid, I'm too old. Or they can learn a great method for. You talked about relationships and deepening a relationship, but their mindset is I don't deserve love. It's going to still keep them in that box, right? And then finally you could have a limitless mindset, believe everything is possible and that you're capable of it, you deserve it and have the right methods and still be stuck in that box because the second M is missing and the second M is motivation. Motivation, you know, and so you can, you might not be motivated to, to have that goal, right? And that's why you're limited for this. Just so I could build this out. A lot of, you know, I have a formula for motivation. Limitless motivation for me is P times e times s3. P times e times s3. And I think this is the formula for motivating yourself and also motivating somebody else. And I love to have discussions with all of you because, you know, you have all these different distinctions. Let's say you want to motivate. Let's do a thought experiment. We want to motivate somebody to exercise, right? As your body moves, your brain grooves brain derived neurotropic factors beneficial for your brain. And they're not doing it. Usually they miss the first thing, which is purpose. The P stands for purpose. Remember I said it's go from your head to your heart to your hands. Someone might not be motivated to buy because they don't feel purpose. And I say feel purpose because some people intellectually know why they should do these things, why they should invest, you know, or why they should do, why they should biohack or something. But they don't do it because they don't have purpose. They don't feel it, right? So purpose is a feeling. And you do not have motivation. You do it. A big part of, you know, I think success in leadership is transforming. Alex talks about this. Transforming the nouns and turning them into verbs, right? You do not have energy. You do energy. You do not have focus. You do not have motivation. You're like, Jim, that's the problem. I have no focus or motivation. You do these things and when you turn into a verb, it gives you agency, right? It gives you your power back and you turn into a process. So you don't have motivation, you do it. And what's the process? You start with purpose. First the person has to feel something. Now somebody could have a limitless purpose and still not be motivated to work out because they lack the second thing, which is E. E stands for energy. If somebody hasn't slept in three nights because they have a newborn child or they eat a big processed meal and they're in food coma, they're not going to be very motivated to work out. Is that fair? So talk to Dave and all about the mitochondria, everything that you need to maximize your energy. That's why we have whole sections in the book on sleep, on best brain foods that help reduce anxiety and stress management. Because stress eats up a lot of energy, but you can still have limitless purpose and energy and still not be motivated. So I just wanted to. I added S3, and these are your small, simple steps. Because somebody can have limitless mindset. They could have a limitless purpose and boundless energy and still not go forward. Because this goal is too big, it's too intimidating, it's too confusing. Right? And confused mind does what? Does nothing. And an exhausted person, you know, exhaustion can make a coward out of anybody, right? And not move forward. So you always have to be able to manage your energy. But then going back to S3 small, simple steps, I just ask myself this dominant question all the time. When I'm faced with a decision or a dilemma. I think, what is the tiniest action I could take right now that will give me progress towards this goal where I cannot fail? BJ Fogg talks about tiny habits. What is the tiniest action I could take right now that will give me progress towards this goal where I cannot fail? Inch by inch is a cinch. Yard by yard, it's too hard. Little by little, a little becomes a whole lot. And so using this. And I'll just end with this, you see this crossover here between this is interesting to me, mindset and motivation. I'm going to give you three I's. This shared space. This I is inspiration. What is inspiring speaker, inspiring movie or inspiring book? What do they do for you? They change your mindset about what's possible. Right? Seeing Andre, like, that's so inspiring to me, right? And so it opens my mind about what's possible. Change a little bit of my belief and I get motivated. It gives me some purpose and some energy. But I'm inspired by. I don't know what to do because I lack the methods where mindset crosses over with methods, you have shared space. Second, I, that. That is ideation mindset. You believe everything's possible stays in your mind. And the methods you know what to do, it stays in your head. That's the ideation place, right? Because you're lacking the motivation to do something. With that idea. And then finally, where motivation and methods cross over, this shared space is the final I and that's implementation. Implementation, right, because somebody's motivated and they know what to do, the method. So they're implementing. But they could still be stuck in this damn box because they're only going to be able to achieve what their mindset allows. And by the way, one area we haven't talked about is that where all three collide in the middle. All three M's, all three I's. And I'll make it a fourth I. That's integration. That's your identity, right? That force of who you are. Because it's just your mindset, your motivation and the methods you're using totally align. And I bet Jim doo, I bet you could see this, right? You advise your clients methodology. But the most successful people, they have the mindset of a certain level of wealth and they're motivated to do the things that you suggest, right? And even you're motivating someone to, you're marketing to them. You know, if their mindset around health is limiting, then it's gonna be hard to get them to do this thing called buy your product or service. You know, maybe they need to be purpose, maybe energy, maybe you're making it too complicated for them to buy and you need to make small simple steps so they have consistency and commitment.

Especially if this isn't something you do regularly or it's not part of your lifestyle already. Nobody thinks about recovery, nobody thinks about rest. They go from zero to 60. So it's a great question because it's very important if you want longevity, if you don't want to have all these injuries, you have to rest, you have to recover and it's allocating time. Honestly, if you have an hour that you can dedicate to exercise and that's it. Perfect, perfect. Plenty of time. 45 minutes of whatever exercise style you want to incorporate and then 15 minutes. Stretching, relaxing, sleep is super important. If you foam roll, get body work done, massages, that's all part of recovery. So it is important. You need to do it every time. And I always recommend too, you've got to stretch out a little. If you're not going super intense, you don't have to do 10 minutes of stretching or warming up. But, but absolutely. Overtraining is huge, especially for business savvy individuals. You guys don't know how to stop. I was same way. It's like you just don't ever feel like you're doing enough.

You are.

And just try to Ask friends or family. A lot of times they'll call you out and say you're in the gym for two hours. If you're in the gym for two hours, I'm telling you, it's too much. An hour is plenty. Unless you're trying to be, you know, on the stage competing, you may need to put a little bit more time, but an hour, even four or five times a week is plenty. It really is. It's not like you have to segment this huge part of your life to this. So.

Yeah, well, I always love hearing you talk about goals because you have a really. You have great mindset, methods and goal setting, so you utilize it, obviously, in competing in what you do. But you're also running all these different businesses. So what advice would you give for people when you want to achieve what needs to happen, both mentally and then turning that into action?

Well, so it's a great question. And honestly, it's changed throughout the years, I have found for me personally, and I think it speaks because I've talked with several of you guys out there, and I feel like a lot of us share these same similar traits. If it's too easy for me, I'm bored. And one example is. So this is my third Fitness Olympia title, but it's not consecutive. Last year I went in and it was like, I'm getting that third title back to back to back. I didn't get it.

I lost it.

And as bizarre as it is, it was the first Olympia. Olympia is the big competition. It's like the super bowl for our sport. It was the first year I didn't have a broken bone that I was competing. And as bizarre as that was, it didn't force me to level up. I was just too comfortable. So what I found, though, is when I have that challenge, it sparks that fire in me. And I know that that's true for my businesses. If I'm not super excited about something, if I don't feel like there's a challenge that I need to step up to, I'm not working as hard. So for my goals, I have to find a way that it's not that easy. Like, what is it? If something's going too smooth, I'm not trying hard enough. I need to set bigger goals, set bigger aspirations, put more effort into it. And as weird as that may sound, because, again, you're like, why are you trying to make it harder? We have a different mindset than most people as an entrepreneur. We aren't excited if it's just going so smooth and Even Keel.

Great.

Granted, we do want that. But if you're trying to reach a goal versus trying to step back or pull back, then you've got to find what it is that's igniting you. And if it's not there, then you need to figure out that source or move on potentially from that goal and find something else. That's what I feel is going to lead me to success. And with talking with several of you guys, it's the same type thing. You get bored. We get bored way too easily. So you've got to tap into what it is that you want to strive for. What is your goal? How are you going to get there? And then are you really. Is it really challenging you? I think we all are competitive and we like that challenge. If we're not challenged, we're not going to have the outcome that we really are striving for.

Human beings, we're drawn to what's familiar, and it's across the board, whether it's food or music or romantic partners. And there's a theory called attractions of deprivation, which explains how we are drawn to people who can wound us in a very familiar way to how we are wounded as children.

It's almost nostalgic.

Yeah, it's home. It feels safe, it feels comfortable, even if it's chaotic. And our psyche does a wonderful job. And it's also conscious of trying to. Of creating, recreating the scene of the crime in an attempt to change its ending. I'll give you an example I grew up with. My parents were immigrants from China, and my father was an entrepreneur. And the only way I got love and attention was when I got good grades. And I learned at a young age, I'm like, oh, when I get an a, I get $40. Okay. And it was great. I adapted to become a super achiever. But when I grew up, I constantly found myself pining over people, chasing over people, editing myself, making sure I could do all the things, give all the gifts. And I was like, why am I always heartbroken? Why do I always feel anxious? And so even though the types of people looked very different, the pattern was the same. It was repeating this exact same thing as a child, as if I could only prove myself, edit myself, I'll finally get that love I really wanted. And the emotional experience kept repeating.

Yeah.

And so that's attachment imprint. Basically, your parents are your first attachment figure. So of anyone who's supposed to love you in the whole world, it's your parents. So however they love you, good, bad, indifferent, that's what love is. It's not like you have other things to choose from. So if that's what love is, then that's how you're going to love others or expect them to love you. And there's people think, you know, I'm looking for my mate. I have this resume. I want them to be this, this and this. But actually what your, your blueprint is, is you're hunting through dates, looking for someone who gives you a particular brand of owie that's familiar, a particular flavor of heartbreak, and that feels familiar. And to the human nervous system, feel familiar is coded as safe. I survived it. This guy who writes me poetry and is devoted to me. I'm not familiar with that because my dad used to beat. I'm just making this up. My dad used to beat me. So this guy just doesn't feel familiar and safe, even though he might be a great partner. So when you fall in love, your attachment dynamic and imprint from your parents port right over to your romantic partner. So now you're looking for that same owie heartbreak feeling so that they can play the script, do the dance, and you can finally get the love you never got. But the thing I like to say to my clients, listen, you're going to fall in love with someone who's whichever parent you had to earn love from. That flavor of owie is going to be the blueprint that you hunt for a partner for. So if you're going to do that anyway, no matter what courses you take, at least look for the most intelligent, good looking, conscious, most committed to personal growth person who has that crazy that you can find. So you can get a designer owie with someone who during the relationship, you teach them how to love you the way you never got it. Literally. I knew I was going to marry my mother. My mother was a little cold and emotionally unavailable. So who did I find? Eben Pagan. And he was the most emotionally unavailable person. But he was smart, conscious, committed to personal growth. And over the last 10 years, I've inspired him to learn how to be emotionally attentive and finally give me the love I never got from my mother. And so you can get it. Don't look for someone who doesn't have the crazy. Look for someone who has the crazy the least amount, but enough to give you that flavor of familiarity and then emancipate them from that pattern so that you can get what you need.

Hey, I hope you're enjoying this video and I want to let you know that I have a new book that's Come out. And if you'd like to get it absolutely free, there's a link below in the description. Or you can wait till the end of this video, or you can simply go to Joe's free book and you can get a copy there. What is ADD adhd?

What is this? Yeah, absolutely. Most of you have it. 50% is low, I guarantee you. I'd like to meet the few of you who don't have it. And the biggest undiagnosed group are adult women because they're not disruptive. And so they get overlooked, basically. Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder is a terrible term. It's a horrible term. I don't have a deficit of attention. I have an abundance of attention. My challenge is to control it. So our brains, it's like we've got a Ferrari engine for a brain. It's genetic. By the way, we were born with a Ferrari engine. And I tell kids, I say, you're so lucky. You've got a Ferrari engine for a brain. You've got a race car for a brain. And the kid's smiling and I say, but there's one problem. You have bicycle brakes. You can't control the power of your brain, so you spin out on curbs, you trample over things, you interrupt, you misspeak, you disrupt, you make fart choices, jokes. You know, you're totally disinhibited. You know, you're too disinhibited. But don't worry, I'm a brake specialist. And another metaphor I like to use people with add. It's like Niagara Falls. It's a ton of power, but it's just a ton of noise and mist until you build a hydroelectric plant. So I'm in the hydroelectric plant business. Joe is in the hydroelectric plant business you all are looking for. Where can I hook up my super powered brain to. To some activity that will turn it into energy, that will turn it into, you know, Niagara Falls lights up the state of New York, you know, so how do you do that? And that's what you all are embarked on. It's a very noble mission. You're trying to take this massive power that you've got in your brain. You've got an incredible imagination. You take it for granted because you've never not had it. But I can promise you, your imagination is way more active, way more vivid, way more powerful than the average guy. Right now I'm reading an autobiography of a man by the name of Kerry Mullis. Any of you ever heard of him? Okay, well, one night he was driving home in 1990 or so, and he suddenly envisioned what he named the polymerase chain reaction. Have you ever heard of the PCR test? You've ever had the PCR test?

This morning.

This morning, yeah. Well, the polymerase chain reaction was invented by a man by the name of Kary Mullis, who won the Nobel Prize for that back in 1983. And it is regarded as one of the most important, right up there with the double helix discoveries in biology in the past hundred years. Kary Mullis had way extreme adhd. The guy was a complete disinhibited dynamo and a genius. And that's what we've got to preserve. We've got to preserve the genius in these kids and adults, and not through ridicule and sequestering them and disapproving them and shaming them and not reduce them to the point where they lose their genius. Another man, who's now a friend of mine, dropped out of college because he said, I'm wasting my time here. I can't do this shit. And pardon my language. So he knocks around. He ends up at Southwest Airlines. Because he's real smart and creative, he manages to get onto the board. Well, the board is full of people with no imagination. So they did what people with no imagination do when they encounter someone who's talented. They conspired to get him fired. And they succeeded. He got fired. And before he died, Herb Keller said it was the biggest mistake he ever made. But that's what talentless people do. They use what little wits they've got to destroy other people. But David, his name is David Nealman, he said, that's okay. I'll just go start my own little airline. So he starts an outfit called JetBlue, and JetBlue goes on to outstrip Southwest. And then David left there and founded some more airlines. And David has way extreme add, but he's the guy who invented the electronic ticket. And I think it's ironic that it's someone with ADD who thinks of a way for us to go to the airport and not have to remember to bring our ticket. And he also came up with the idea of putting television sets in the back of the seat in front of you. And again, why? Because we with ADD can't do boredom. We cannot do boredom. And I define boredom as the absence of stimulation that is intolerable for us. We can't do it. I was at a lecture back when I was in residency at Harvard. It was at the Harvard Faculty Club, and they brought in a speaker and a typical academic speaker was boring. Well, I happened to be sitting next to a window, so I opened the window and jumped out. I literally couldn't stand sitting there. Even though this was under the view of my professors, who fortunately none of them saw it, they would have not taken a happy look at one of the trainees jumping out the window. Fortunately, he was on the first floor. We regard boredom as a psychic emergency. We have to do something to relieve it. We'll pick a fight, you know, we'll have sex with someone and we shouldn't, you know, we'll do just about anything to relieve the boredom. So, you know, this is what we're driven by. Boredom is our kryptonite. Stimulation is our Glenfonduit. That can get you into trouble. You know, not all things that are stimulating are good for you. So, you know, So a lot of my work is working with folks like you, helping you find an adaptive form of stimulation rather than a maladaptive. The most maladaptive of course, being drugs and behavioral addictions which we are way over represented. We have way more of those amongst us than among the general population. But if you look at the core defining symptoms of this condition, if you look at the diagnostic manual, the so called dsm, you'll see three symptoms listed. Number one, inattention, number two, impulsivity and number three, hyperactivity. They're all bad, right? Well, turn each one of those on its head and I submit you get a positive, a very positive, that you can't buy or teach. The flip side of distractibility and inattention is curiosity. We are endlessly curious. We're the most nosy, curious people in the world. We want to know why and what and who. We are forever driven by curiosity. You cannot buy or teach curiosity and it is what drives most discoveries. I want to figure out why. I want to figure out what's in there. How did that guy do that? By the way, the honest answer in our world of how did you do something? I don't know. Why did you do something? I don't know. You know, we don't know. We just do. We just, you know. And that driving force of curiosity. Yes. Can get us into trouble if we stick our nose where it shouldn't go. But on the other hand, we have penicillin because some guy looked at a petri dish and said that's not the way it was when I left it. And the next thing you know, he looks into it and we've got penicillin or, you know, or Kary Mullis, you know, There he is. And we've got the polymerase chain reaction. That is a quality, a talent that we just don't honor enough. And often in school, it gets stamped out. Okay.

I hope you found that video awesome and useful. So if you want to get a free copy of my book, I want you to click here. And if you want to watch some more videos that will be useful and awesome, click here.

Go ahead. You're over here.

Do it now.

Come on.

Thank you. Watch them.