Selling Through The Screen: How To Connect and Close Virtually | Dino Watt

Well, if we think about all the research that's been done all the way back to 1967, we understand that our words make up about 10% of our communication. Our tone is about 35%. And then 55% are the gestures that we use when we look at the problem that's happening in our world today. After Covid started, something really unique happened. Now, there are people who, like Michael Bernoff, who do amazing things with words, but when it comes down to it, that human interaction, being together with somebody, really feeling the energy of the room and feeling who they are, is very vital to your sales process. However, now this is what we are dealing with. We're missing out on the entire picture and only seeing about 15 to 20% of people's bodies on the screen.

Most of us have learned the importance of understanding body language in our business. Studies show that nonverbal cues account for over 50% of our overall communication. The science is in we all speak using our entire bodies, and we watch others in order to understand and build relationships. But what happens when the ability to see over 90% of the body is taken away due to a world that now relies so heavily on virtual conferencing between bad camera angles, terrible lighting, and spotty Internet, Too often the conversations you're having are not able to see the whole picture. Therefore, you are missing out on over 2/3 of the conversation. So how does that really affect your ability to communicate and build strong relationships? If you are in sales, how does it affect your ability to authentically connect, clearly communicate, and powerfully close, no matter what your profession? The skill of clearly sharing your message and thoroughly understanding your prospects, clients or team members is vital in today's world. For over two decades, Dino Watt has been helping business owners and teams learn how to improve their communication skills using both verbal and nonverbal techniques. Today, using his shell system, he's going to show you the top four areas you need to be aware of in order to more effectively sell yourself through the screen.

Awesome. All right, well, everybody, thank you for having me here and to continue on with the conversation around, asking great questions. And thank you for that previous talk. That was awesome. I love asking questions. Back in 1960, back when Joel was a young man, or a younger man, I should say, there was the very first ever televised presidential debate between President back then Vice President Nixon and candidate John F. Kennedy. And something very interesting happened out of this debate. First of all, when they did the polling after the debate, it wasn't divided on political lines like it is today. It was divided between people who watched the debate on television and those who actually heard it on the radio. And overwhelmingly, the people who actually heard it on the radio totally believed that Nixon won the debate, but the people who watched it on television absolutely believed that Kennedy won the debate. In my opinion, this was the very first ever selling through the screen incident before they sold products. This is the first time people had to sell themselves and their ideas. So why did that happen? Let's make sure this works. Now, why should you care about the way that you see yourself or you are seen on the screen? Well, if we think about all the research that's been done all the way back to 1967, we understand that our words make up about 10% of our communication. Our tone is about 35%. And then 55% are the gestures that we use when we look at the problem that's happening in our world today. After Covid started, something really unique happened. Now, there are people who, like Michael Bernoff, who do amazing things with words, but when it comes down to it, that human interaction, being together with somebody, really feeling the energy of the room and feeling who they are, is very vital to your sales process. However, now this is what we are dealing with. We're missing out on the entire picture and only seeing about 15 to 20% of people's bodies on the screen. And if you haven't watched Mike Koenig's 25 Ways to Do better Zoom calls, you probably have been on a call where you've seen something like this. Even celebrities like Hugh Jackman surprisingly don't know how to use a computer. This is an actual screenshot from a interview he was doing with Jimmy Fallon on the Tonight Show. People have a very big challenge when it comes to actually communicating their message through the screen. So how does body language actually happen? It's important for us to understand that body language happens because of an emotion that happens in our subconscious and then comes through our brain. As a matter of fact, what happens about every one minute? We have about 450 words that are developed inside of our subconscious to answer a question or to reply to something. Now, to be clear, for women, it's typically a little bit higher. For men, it's typically a little bit lower. But average is about 450 words per minute. But your consciousness knows you can't say all of those words, so it narrows it down to about 150 words per minute for you to actually use that. You can choose. Yes, I want to use that. This is a safe place to say that. Oh, remember When I said that last time this happened, I don't want to say that. So what happened to those other 300 words? Where does it go? It's not clicking. There we go. 300 words inside of our subconscious. Those energies actually exist inside of our subconscious. They have to go somewhere. And that is what is created body language. That's what goes into all the other parts of our body and comes out. I want to know that story. Because what they've brought up in their head is very important for us to understand. And the body will tell us what those things are. So today I want to walk you through. Oops, sorry. This is something that's really important here. There's always a Jim do joke going around somewhere, so I figured, might as well throw one in here. But this is actually a really weird picture. But when we think about what the brain connects with first, when we meet somebody, a lot of people will say it's their eyes that we notice first. It's actually not the brain notices first. And this scale or this image here is by scale. The first thing people notice or the first thing the brain notices is the hands first, then the lips, then the tongue, then the ears. And this is the showing you exactly what your brain sees when you meet somebody new. So it's important to know this.

Hey, I hope you're enjoying this video. And I want to let you know that I have a new book that's come out. And if you'd like to get it absolutely free, there's a link below in the description. Or you can wait till the end of this video or you can Simply go to joesfreebook.com and you can get a couple copy there.

So I've created a shell system that I like to use with my teams when I'm teaching them about what to look for when they're through the screen. When they're talking to somebody through the screen, it goes shoulders, hands, eyes, lips, and language. Language is something we're not going to talk about too much today or at all today, because there are other people who talk about that a little bit better. Shoulders. Shoulders are the first thing you want to look at and recognize. According to a study by Harvard, it's the number one missed shoulders movement when it comes to body language. Because shoulders show uncertainty. If somebody doesn't know the answer to something by saying, yeah, what is the square root of 386? And they go, I don't know. That makes sense. But if they say, if you ask somebody, hey, would you like to move forward with this? Contract. And they say, yeah, sure. Well, there's uncertainty there. And you better be careful to stop and actually ask a question around that. How is your day to day? Oh, it was wonderful. But they shrugged their shoulders. Well, there probably wasn't something wonderful about that day. Ask a better question. One of the things I love most about body language, it gives us an ability to ask a better question. Next would be your hands. Our hands are actually our secondary communication device. When you are seeing a speaker, when you're talking to somebody or seeing somebody on stage, if they walk around with their hands in their pockets the entire time, your brain starts to mistrust them, thinking they're hiding something. Ever since we were cavemen back in our DNA, we looked at hands first, as you saw on that image there, because the hand would show me, are you going to feed me or are you going to kill me? And I like to hear myself. So that's good. So we want to make sure we're looking at the hands. The hands will also tell us when people are nervous or concerned. They will soothe themselves with soothing gestures, whether it be from their clothing, like you see this person down at the bottom picture there, or wringing their hands together. Or women often will go and cover up the little. It's called the super stenal notch right here in their body or. Or the decollete. If I were to get fancy with women's clothing, Right. So they cover this up. Any type of hair movement or twirling of the hair, those are all hand movements used to show you that they are uncertain or that they are trying to soothe themselves. So watch for hand movements. Now, this is important for you as somebody who's on the screen. Oftentimes because of the way that we position ourselves on the screen, we're not showing people our hands and using our hand gestures. But people will trust you more if they can see your hands. Matter of fact, if you look at TED talks, there's a great statistic here at TED Talks that the least popular TED talkers use an average of 272 hand gestures during the 18 minutes. But the most popular TED talkers had 465 hand gestures. That's almost double. Use your hands more often when you are talking. Sorry, this should have said eyes. It says hands there. It says eyes. It's supposed to say eyes. Eye blocking is the next thing I want you to look at. What? When people close their eyes, there's usually either one or two reasons. They're either trying to see it and focus in on the thing that you're asking them, or they're trying to avoid it and disassociate their emotion with what you're asking them, what you're asking them about. These are two really great examples of people who are on a witness fan. Or this is probably Obama hearing another Biden gaffe. Who knows? But on the last side here, this is called eye blocking with their hand. If somebody raises their hand and shuts their eyes at the same time, it'll most likely be around something financial, money driven. So you want to make sure that they're showing because. Sorry, you want to make sure you ask a question around that because they're actually looking at some sort of shame around the thing that you're talking about. That usually shows us that they have some sort of shame with it. All right. Now, lastly is lips. And I love lips, because lips will tell you everything. If somebody has a question to ask in the middle of your presentation, they will often first just close their lips slightly and then they'll start to eat their lips. If you see the lips disappear, you know, there's a challenge there. If you're going through contracts, this is really important for you to be able to watch what's going on with their lips because the moments their lips go from natural, which would look like this, to close, or at least have a concern, you want to stop and say, what questions do you have around this area here? Or let's talk more about that part of the contract, because now you know they had something to say. The best people to look at for this is children. If you have children in your home, go home tonight and ask them to listen to your story. You're going to tell them a story. It doesn't matter what the story is, but they cannot ask a question or speak during that story. And you will notice as you are talking, they will shut their lips, they will start to bite their lips, they will chew on their lips and suddenly they will raise their hand to. To cover up their mouth because they want to say something that you told them to shut off. You do that too. When you're sitting in a room like this or you're sitting here watching on TV on Zoom, if somebody is saying something and you have something to say, you will notice, you will close your lips, too. You might even raise your hand to your lips. When your lips are disjointed, like you see here with President Trump, his pursed lips, he disagrees. His pursed lips pull to the side. He disagrees very strongly. Here's a clue I want you to remember this saying, when you don't like what you see or hear, your lips disappear. So if you're watching somebody on the camera and you see all of a sudden their lips disappear, they're not liking what you're saying. Make sure you stop and ask a better question. Shoulders, hands, eyes, lips. Those are the areas of the shell that you want to look at. Even though we only get to see 15 to 20% of somebody's body now, you can learn so much with just these areas. And more importantly, they can learn so much about you. Now let's go all the way back to Nixon and Kennedy. Why did Nixon lose this debate? There are three very specific things he did at the very beginning of this debate. And you can actually go on YouTube and watch the introduction of President Nixon, Nixon and Vice President Nixon and Kennedy. Here are the three things that happened. Number one, we always look to the most authority in the room or the authority figure in the room. Especially when we're nervous, we're finding out if we're doing what is right. So America saw this and saw him continually. And if you watch the videos, see him keep looking at Kennedy, then his hands. His hand looks like he's holding on for the ride. But also from tv, it looks like a fist and it looks like it's dominant. And people don't want to feel like they're being pressured to do anything. And lastly, were his feet, and his feet are in what we call the runner's position. He's ready to get out of there. He doesn't want to be here. Look at his posture compared to Kennedy's and how much more relaxed Kennedy is of being there looking straight at the audience as opposed to Nixon, like he doesn't want to be here. And oddly enough, who won that presidential not debate. The debate, yes, but also the presidency was President Kennedy and went on to be the President of the United States. So what does it really matter to you? It really matters because if you truly are somebody who wants to connect, communicate, and close more often in your virtual sales with your teams, you must understand the shell and understand how to properly sell through the screen.

Okay. I hope you found that video awesome and useful. So if you want to get a free copy of my book, I want you to click here. And if you want to watch some more videos that will be useful and awesome, click here. Go ahead. You're over here.

Do it now.

Come on. Thank you. Watch them.