So What, Now What: The Four Word Philosophy To Help You Thrive Through Adversity with Rene' Nelson

I love the Navy seals. They are trained to rewire their brain to not freak out in a time of fear. The average Navy SEAL trains one year before they even become a Navy seal, and most drop out because the training is too tough. Even after they become a Navy seal, they train every single day. In my morning training ritual, I get up every morning for the first hour and and I watch Ben Hardy and Evan Carmichael YouTube videos. My goal is to arm myself with positive thoughts so that I can fight off adversity during the day. Ben talks about training for your future self. What do you put into your mind every day? Are you training for your future self?

In 1920, a flu pandemic hit the United States and the world, killing over 50 million people. Over 675,000 died in the US alone. Now, just 100 years later, it started all over again with COVID 19, causing tragic results. Maybe you personally haven't been affected by the pandemic, but for sure you probably know someone who has. Based on history, more tragic things will be happening. It's all part of life. The real question for you to ask yourself is, what can I do when tragedy confronts me? This is what Renee Nelson is going to talk to us about. If we went around this group asking you to share an event in your life that you would call tragic, almost everyone would be able to share a tragedy, such as being diagnosed with cancer, the loss of your income, a medical diagnosis that your spouse has only months to live. Yes, any one of those could be a real challenge to face and overcome. But what if you had to deal with all of those that I just mentioned? And at the same time, that's exactly what happened to Renee. Yet she's here. She's upbeat, she's a fighter. And so can you be. When you learn to use four simple words that contain only 13 letters, your life can change in an instant. And as you know, it's not what happens to you, it's how you respond. Yes, it's your response. That's what this message is about. Renee is a commercial real estate broker in Eugene, Oregon. In 2016, she wrote a book titled they're the Survival Seven Steps to Protect yout Real Estate. Renee has a unique perspective on life, and so will you after you hear her message titled so what now what? Please help me welcome Renee Nelson.

Thank you, Timothy, for the introduction. Imagine you're sitting in a doctor's office and your spouse or loved one is told, I'm sorry, you have terminal cancer and you have less than six months to live. What would you do? Would you panic or would you have peace? I'm going to teach you five keys today to clarify your mental mindset and how to deal with adversity when it hits. Let me share my screen with you. This is my husband, Bob, and Bob and I have been married for 30 wonderful years. On January 5th of 2021, he was diagnosed with stage 4 bone cancer. And his doctor told him that he has six months to live. At the time that the doctor was delivering that news to him, he looked right at me and said, go home and get your affairs in order. And I thought to myself, so what now? What you see? So what is the beginning of the process now? What is the action that you take? We all know the amazing Jennifer Carroll, who has taken a year off from genius. But Jennifer's mantra was bend over and take it like a man, unlike Jennifer's husband. My husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer two times previously, and he beat it both times. But this time it's come back as single cell carcinoma, which is a fast and aggressive bone cancer in its terminal. When the news was delivered to me about my husband's health and what was coming ahead of us, I decided that instead of being in a state of adversity, I wanted to thrive. We all know our beloved leader, Joe Polish, decided to take a sabbatical because his friend Mark passed away. Mark had everything. He was active, he was healthy, he was 59 years old, and he was rich. He was worth $300 million, but he died instantly. As a high achiever, how often do you put your clients needs ahead of your own? How often do you put off things like going to the doctor, getting into shape, updating your will, or getting your financial affairs in order? In 2015, I had a client whose husband passed away, and he had always managed their money and their real estate portfolio. Right after he passed away, their property manager embezzled $30,000 and skipped town. A few months later, my client was sued for over $900,000 for a mistake that this property manager had created. After watching all the pain and agony that my client was going through, I decided to write a book called They're Gone. And it's a survivor's guide to help women deal with their financial affairs and their real estate portfolio when their spouse or loved one passes away. When writing this book, I decided that I wanted to make sure my own financial affairs were in order. So my husband and I updated our wills and we created a plan to free and clear our house. And we put all of our assets into a family trust. I had no idea at the time how later that would give me the financial strength that I needed. I'm going to teach you the five keys that you need to know in order to survive adversity.

Hey, I hope you're enjoying this video and I want to let you know that I have a new book that's come out and if you'd like to get it absolutely free, there's a link below in the description. Or you can wait till the end of this video or you can Simply go to joesfreebook.com and you can get a copy there.

The first one is Planning for today will give you strength for tomorrow. In 2018, while training for a four day backpacking trip through the Arizona desert, I developed a pain in my chest that took my breath away. I knew I had a benign lump, so when I returned from the trip, I went to a surgeon and I asked her to remove it. She called me several days later and indicated that it had morphed into stage three breast cancer and she was referring me to an oncologist. When I met with the oncologist, he told me that we had to be fast and aggressive to beat the cancer. Within days, I had a chemo port inserted into my chest and I started chemotherapy Within a blink of an eye. I went from being a healthy, successful commercial real estate broker to fighting for my life. I had four rounds of chemotherapy. I lost all my hair, I lost all of my energy, and my oncologist told me to stay home from work to protect my immunity. After my last round of chemo, the surgeon called me and indicated that she had taken my case to the tumor board and that they were recommending a double mastectomy in order to ensure that the breast cancer did not come back. I could have been disappointed and depressed. I I had just survived six months of chemotherapy and I was exhausted. It was a grueling experience, but for me it was just a small bump in the road. When my surgeon told me that I needed to have a double mastectomy, my next question was so what? Now what? And my now what? Was what day do I show up for surgery? How quick can I recover? And how quick can I go back to the life that I crave? I also experienced total financial peace during that process. Because of the prior planning that I had completed with my husband, I was able to take the 12 months off of work and recover and take care of my health. So ask yourself, are you prepared for adversity? When my husband's diagnosis of cancer was shared with me, I knew I had all of the pieces of the puzzle put together. But taking care of a sick loved one is exhausting. My life changed overnight. In the last 30 days, my husband's health has changed drastically. He's had to be rushed to the hospital three times in an ambulance. He's had 10 blood transfusions in over 12 days. His first round of chemotherapy pushed his blood sugars above 800, which is in a stroke level. He developed a blood infection which he was hospitalized for over a week. I actually broke into the hospital and stayed in his room for five days to guarantee he was coming home. When my husband and I were married 30 years ago, we purchased long term health care plans. His premium is $3,000 a year, and for that he now receives over 60 hours a week of skilled in home health care. If I had to pay for that out of pocket, that would cost me $11,180 on a monthly benefit. So save yourself some heartache and reach out to a smart financial advisor like Jim Doo who can help you plan ahead for long term health care and plan for future adversity. Key number two is develop unbreakable grit. I love the Navy seals. They are trained to rewire their brain to not freak out in a time of fear. The average Navy SEAL trains one year before they even become a Navy Seal and most drop out because the training is too tough. Even after they become a Navy seal, they train every single day. In my morning training ritual, I get up every morning for the first hour after and I watch Ben Hardy and Evan Carmichael YouTube videos. My goal is to arm myself with positive thoughts so that I can fight off adversity. During the day, Ben talks about training for your future self. What do you put into your mind every day? Are you training for your future self? Key number three is be grateful even in the midst of darkness. The day my surgeon put the chemo port into my chest, I. I sent her roses because I was so grateful for the opportunity that she was giving me. She was giving me a second chance at life. The amazing author BJ Fogg in his book Tiny Habits, mentioned that every time he changed his mother's bandage, instead of complaining about Kaiser Permanente, he would remind himself and his mother of his fond childhood memories. The day my husband and I came home from his appointment, I made a two page list, front to back of all the fun things that my husband and I have done. And I remind him of that every single day. Key number four is build your tribe of warriors. When I was going through Chemotherapy. I read Sage Levine's book, Women Rocking Business. Sage is a brand new Genius Network member and amazing at empowering women. Her book teaches you how to create a thriving life and do the work that you love. I highly recommend her book to everyone in Genius. Sage's book was inspiring and helped me realize that I hadn't even scratched the surface for my life. I started mentoring other female real estate brokers that wanted to get into commercial real estate. And today those brokers are now helping me with my business while I take care of my husband's health needs. Key number five is be forward thinking and dream big. When I was going through treatment, I was always forward thinking and dreaming of my next big adventure. Within 12 months of returning to work, I closed the two biggest deals of my career and I went on a five day backpacking trip through Yellowstone with a 45 pound backpack on my back. The Genius Network is a room full of doers. There is someone in this group right now that can help open a door or solve a problem for you. So here's what you need to do. Make a plan, take your first action or reach out to that Genius member before this event ends. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Make that decision right now to deal with what you've been putting off and remember so what is just the beginning of the process now? What is the action that you take? So go out, take action and make it a great day.

There. Listen to the applause. Well done. Thank you so much, Renee. And we saw a lot of great love coming in and chat for you. So who has some questions for Renee? And as a former cancer survivor, myself, or a cancer survivor, I understand what you went through. Yeah, let's do it.

So part of my career includes being a lawyer and doing estate planning. I've handled hundreds of business transitions and state settlements. Right. So trust administrations, that sort of thing. So I have dealt with hundreds of surviving spouses that are dealing with really difficult things. And the organization that she's talking about, Renee has nailed it. It's super important to plan ahead, get the pieces in place. And it's more complex for the business owner because the business owner has got to prepare the company and the family to be able to survive whatever this tragic issue is. So it isn't just preparing for the future to sell in the future. It's also preparing to survive trauma and tragedy. And so I applaud your work and your spirit. I mean, you've gone through an incredibly difficult time and you've done it with grace. So congratulations to you.

Very nice who else has something to share? Thanks, Randy.

Well, just to piggyback on what Randy said, I also do a lot with estate planning, and if people don't, you know, prepare, then they're just letting their business potentially go down the drain. I have one now where my own doctor just passed away in December, and I'm trying to run his practice in addition to mine. Now I can't do medical things, but whatever I can do to keep it alive long enough to sell, that's kind of my job. One curious thing I just wanted to put out there. I had this comment from one of my clients a while back. I asked the question, well, why did it take so long? Because we started the process three years before in order to do estate planning for them. And the comeback was, well, I thought if I did that, I would die sooner. And that many people have that perception that if I do something on my will or whatever, I'm thinking about death. Therefore, I'm going to create that in myself. And of course, I dispelled that because I said, look, you're 53 years old. I have clients that are 25 I'm doing this for who are still alive. I have clients that are 87 that I'm doing this for, and they're still alive. But, you know, it's funny what gets ingrained in us as people and how we think about these different subjects.

Wow, that was really powerful. Thanks, Denise. Who else?

I'll jump in.

Just wanted to say, Renee, obviously you're prepared, but just wanted to acknowledge and send you love for the last few weeks and where your husband's at, your stand and your commitment to go to the hospital and say, no one's keeping me out and you're coming home. Super inspiring. So just love and support from the Genius Network to you.

Thank you. I will tell the group a funny story. As I was driving to the hospital, I called my mother, who lives in my hometown, and I said, hey, if you get a call from the Lane county sheriff, that's me. Take that call serious and please come bail me out, because I am either going into his hospital room or they are going to arrest me. And I had to be careful because that could cost me my real estate license. But. But I just decided I was drawing a line in the sand. And luckily, my mother did not have to bail me out. And the staff and the nurses were amazing. I spent about 10 minutes in my husband's hospital room, and the head nurse came in and she said, listen, this is coming down from top brass. This is not Me. But if you cross this threshold and you leave his room, you cannot come back. And you saw in my presentation my Genius backpack. I had grabbed my backpack as I left, and I had a couple of protein bars, and I thought, I'll stay. Try me. So.

Can I maybe say something, Renee? I've had some tragedy in my life that's been shared with Genius Network. I think it's also important. And I don't know if there's some of the books that. From a couple years ago that I left the Genius Network, but people can have it about dealing with grief. What's happened to your husband is shitty. What's happened to you and your breast cancer is shitty. I think it's important that everyone realize that what you've said is incredibly inspiring and absolutely true. But there was always time to feel shitty. And that means not shitty to the point where you create shrines and you mourn and you wring your hands and you complain, but it's okay to feel shitty. And then you get on with your business. And that's so important. So I want you to know right now, I'm feeling shitty for you, Renee. Really, really shitty. And I'm going to do that for a little bit of time. Then I'm going to go on and listen to the GN meeting.

Well, I appreciate that, but I look at life as more than a glass half full, so.

So.

I appreciate that. But I'm about joy and laughter. And I cannot tell you how many times my husband has said something so funny to me that has doubled me over. Yesterday morning, when he woke up, I said, hey, how are you doing? And he said, well, I'm dying, but, yeah, I think I slept okay. I mean, every day is just laughter and joy. And that's the way that we're choosing to deal with this because there's so much tragedy in the world. Bad news sells, and I just refuse to participate with that. Yeah, I am going to go through grief. I understand that. But, man, you can always find that ray of sunshine and something better to cling to. And one thing that I have learned, somebody always has it tougher than you do. Hands down, their spouse or someone may be in the hospital right now fighting for their life with COVID or cancer or whatever. At least I have my husband home. So thank you for acknowledging the grief, but I'm more of a let's grab the sunshine today and figure out our way of happiness.

Mike, can I say something?

Yes, absolutely, Joel.

Since I've spent a lot of time with Renee and she's worked so hard on this presentation. Everything you just said is how she was every single day. She was upbeat. She was positive. And knowing what she was going through, the time when her husband was in the hospital, we talked. She is a rock. I mean, I started writing all my emails to the Iron Lady. And, you know, it's not just Pollyanna. She believes it. And because she believes it and keeps this joyous attitude, she has been able to handle this in such a wonderful and amazing way. And you just have no idea the strength of this woman and what a joy it was watching how our attitude determines our experience. And, Renee, congratulations. You're living proof of everything you shared.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah. There's one thing I was going to add, Renee. So I went through cancer myself, and as I went through it, I just said, thank God it's me and not my wife or my son. And now you've kind of had it both ways. Can you just describe what that experience is like for you? And is it harder or easier to be the one going through it or observing it?

It's definitely the harder one to be going to. To watch your loved one go through it because you can't fix it for them. And with my cancer, I knew I was going to beat it, but my husband's is terminal, so every day I just try to live life to the fullest. He now has a beanie that says so what now what? On it. And all of my kids have that, and we wear that now when he goes in for chemotherapy. And the nurses just love him. And so. So, you know, it's just one of those things that probably the best part out of this is, like he told his doctor yesterday, thank you for finding this when you did, because had you not found it, they told him without treatment and without them finding it, he would have only had four months to live. So he would basically be at the last two months of his life. And instead, he's got four to six months to live. And he was just so grateful to his doctor yesterday that he. He bawled when he told his doctor. So it's those beautiful moments that I get to experience every single day that's just. I relish them.

Congratulations. You're really a warrior. It's incredible what you're. What you've done and how you've really turned this into a positive. So I know everyone here is very touched at the live event. I can just see the heads nodding and the comments coming in. So good for you. This is, like I said, you're a real warrior. So maybe what we could do at this point. Unless you do have anything else you'd like to add before we move on to another opportunity?

The only thing that I would like to add, Mike, is hands down, when I put my backpack on, I feel like I am strapping on my tribe. So if you have to go through a tough thing, grab your genius network backpack because in that backpack is all the love and support and the people that you need that can solve any crisis for you. It starts at the top with jo polish and it goes down the list to every single person in this group. So I just love this family and I am so grateful to be here. Okay.

I hope you found that video awesome and useful. So if you want to get a free copy of my book, I want you to click here. And if you want to watch some more videos that will be useful and awesome, click here. Go ahead. You're over here.

Do it now.

Come on. Thank you.

Watch them.