The One Decision To Change Your LIFE Feat. Tony Robbins & Dan Sullivan

This room is filled with some very high achievers. And obviously what I wanted to derive from you guys is just some insights, some how to, some what it is you do to just give them, you know, perspective and stuff. And I carefully chose some questions, and this one is you're both masters at achieving what most people consider impossible. And I mean really like what you guys do, most people consider absolutely impossible. So when something is considered quote, unquote impossible, how do you reframe it so it becomes possible in your mind? And how much of that is mindset?

Well, I think impossible is not a fact, it's an opinion. When someone tells me it's impossible, I always just look at them. Anybody around me knows that they can't do that. That's part of it. But if they didn't know me, it's your opinion. And they'll say, no, science shows. And I say, yeah, how many times does science show something's impossible now? Science shows it's possible things are impossible till somebody does it. And so I find that, you know, most of your business people, you look at businesses and what does it take to make a business grow? It's not impossible like a business grow. Business has been shrinking for a long time or it's been stuck. The real problem is always the chokehold, is always the psychology and the skills of the leader. Always. And 80% of that is psychology, and 20% is the mechanics. Like if you don't know how to read your financials and you're trying to fly the plane of your company, I mean, come on, you know, if all you do is go down, you look at profit, loss and you see what it is and you have a beer. Either way, you either celebrate or get the brass. You know something, you know you're going to be in trouble, right? But if you have the skill sets, that's one thing. But you can get any skill set if you have the psychology. And anytime a business is not growing, it is not because it's impossible. It's because they aren't innovating. And they're not innovating because they're believing it's impossible. I mean, if we all know, what does it take to transform, obviously help people? It takes three things to create a breakthrough in anything. In your personal life, in your business, anywhere. You need a strategy. But that's not the first place you should look. And it's the first place all of us look. Me too. It's our inherent thing. You want to lose weight? Well, how do I do it? I want to grow My business, how do I do it? It's instinctive. We've been trained to think that way. But the problem is the how to is usually not that complex. I mean, come on, 70% of America is what? 75% of America now is overweight. Is that because it's so complex? How to be fit and strong? Only the 1% know the answers. They hide it from you. You have to work your ass off to not hear what it takes, right? And so, you know, I remember I went to this. I went to a Ted Med center and I watched about 12 doctors, one after another, get up and do these stories about how we could just get patients to take their medications and try to figure out the whole thing. And I was just looking and going, you're all talking about strategy and you've forgotten psychology, because strategy is wonderful. I'm a strategist. I spent my whole life figuring out strategies. As we both know, a strategy could save you a decade, right? And business strategy could save you. It could make the difference between success and failure. But most people have strategies available. Or they could get them, or you could create them. But the problem is you got a story. And your story is why it isn't working. And the story is, I've tried what? What? Everything. If you tried everything, you'd be fit, right? If you tried everything, you'd be profitable. If you tried everything, you'd be there. But people say it, you know, I'm big boned. That's what I used to say. I'm still big boned, but I'm 38 pounds lighter than I was 25 years ago. And I've never gained it back. Right when I was big boned, that was my story. All the good ones are gone. That's why I'm not in a relationship. Or they're gay and I'm not, or I'm gay and they are, or whatever the story is. There's always a story. And what I tell people is if you can just divorce the story of your limitation and marry the truth of your unlimited capacity, then the whole game changes. But it's hard to do that because when you're in your story, you don't even realize it. So you need a third piece for a breakthrough. And that's really what my life's about, which is changing people's states. Because in a different state, we're different people, you know? Can mean people be nice? Yes or no? Yes or no? Of course they are. When they're in a nice state, can nice people be mean? Sure, they Get a mean state. So really learning to train yourself to be in an ideal state where the best of you comes out for yourself, for your family, for your mission, for your world, for your co workers. To me, that's one of the most important decisions in life to make. You ask me out of all the people I've met, all the things I've seen, you know, what creates a magnificent life? You know, everybody has goals and dreams that are different. Some people want, you know, picket fence. Some want to make a billion dollars. Some, you know, want to have this huge breakthrough in technology. Some people want to write poetry. Whatever is right for people is what I want them for themselves. I don't want to be like me or you or anybody else. I want them to have their dream. But to have it, you need two skills. You need, number one, to have the science of achievement. It's a science. You have to know how to take your vision and make it real. And most of the people in this room have already figured that out. And this guy sure as hell has. And you have, and I have. So most of us know, and we can all refine our skills in that area, but we know how to take what we dream about, make it real. And if you don't, you can learn from somebody who does. The simplest thing is get crazily hungry for something. We all know when you get so hungry, so desirous, your brain starts coming up with answers. And then it's massive action but effective execution, which is all modeling, which is, I assume, what this is about. Find the best example, compress the time. Let someone else take 20 years to figure it out. You do it in two weeks or two months or whatever the period is. We should all be standing on the shoulders of the people around us instead of reinventing the wheel. And then there's this thing called grace. You work your ass off. You're totally focused. You're trying to serve something larger than yourself, and you really are executing what works. You need a little grace. Might want to call it luck if you prefer God, the universe. But it's there, and we can all achieve. But I think the more important skill, if you ask me, is to have an extraordinary life is the art of fulfillment. And it's an art. It's not a science, because there's a science to making money. I don't care who you are. If you do certain things, you're gonna have too much financial stress. You do other things, you're gonna have an abundance. There's a science. There's a science to Your body. Everyone here is biochemically different, different genome. But there are certain fundamental patterns that if you and I follow them, you're going to have tons of energy, going to feel good. If you break them, you're going to pay the price and have low energy or disease. But fulfillment is an art. What's going to fulfill you is different than the other person next to you. You're not going to learn that from anybody else. And you got to find it. Because success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure. And I get those phone calls all the time for the multi billionaire entrepreneur or politician or business person or the person just won their Academy Award and they're depressed and they can't tell anybody because they got all their goals. But they're not fulfilled because they really don't have that sense of meaning in their life. They went for something and they got it. They achieved. And if you doubt this, what I'm saying is relevant to you or us or anyone, just think about, about a year, what, a month ago, we lost what I consider to be a national treasure, Robin Williams. How many of you love Robin Williams? Look around the room. Keep your hands up.

Look.

And most of you didn't know him almost every. And then where you go in the world, people love Robin Williams. By the way, was he great at achievement? Oh, my God, that guy. He said he wanted to make, become a great comedian. He did that. I want to make the world laugh. He did it. I want to make my own TV show. He did. I want to have the number one TV show. He did it. I want to make movies. He did it. I want an Academy Award for not being funny, not his skill set. Drama. And he did it. I want a beautiful family. And he did it. And then he hung himself. Make everybody happy but yourself. Not a good plan. So if I had a gift to give you, it would be maybe make a different decision. And the decision is that no matter what happens in your life, you're gonna live in a beautiful state. A beautiful state. And that could be happy. That could be grateful. That could be being generous. Those are all beautiful states, aren't they? It could be curious, it could be fun, it could be playful. You're not limited to one state. But it's different than suffering. And most people suffering and all suffering I've ever seen. I've traveled 100 countries, I've dealt with presidents of countries and, you know, presidents of businesses, CEOs. I've dealt with people in prison. I've dealt with, you name it. Average people. Suffering always comes because you're obsessed about something related to you. You can only be depressed if you're focusing on yourself. You say, no, I'm depressed because it's my kids and they're not doing well. No, you're depressed because you feel you failed your kids. It's about you. It's about how you think, what you should have done or shouldn't have done. Or what someone did to you or didn't do to you in the past or the future, which don't even exist. So I have a simple goal. My goal is help people make a decision that says, I don't know what's going to happen. You might get a divorce even though you don't think so. You might find a family of your family with cancer. You might have your house get burned down or have a tornado go by. And if you live in the same place, it happens every two years. And you move back. We should talk. But, you know, some people seem to do that for some reason. You can't control those things. I can't control those things. I don't want those to happen to you or anybody I love or anybody who's even a stranger to me. But they're going to happen. True. Not positive thinking, bullshit. Just the truth. So if that's gonna happen, I say make a decision now that says I'm gonna live in a beautiful state. And I'm gonna find beauty in whatever life brings me. Because life is too short not to. I see a little buddy over here named Shawn. I remember when I got a phone call from the Make a Wish Foundation. See, I have a young man that's about to die, and he wants to meet you. And he came to the seminar, and then I took him out afterwards. At the time, if he coughed too much, they said. They said, you can't grab him. I said, I want to take him across the fire. They said, take him across the fire. So if he coughs, he breaks a rib. I said, I'll be really gentle. We're gonna do this thing. And he did it. And afterwards, I sat down with him. I said, man, I don't have the answers. But if your body is. You're just coughing, and it's gonna make you break a rib. Your body is so acid. I said, you should get alkaline. Let me put you together with a doctor. How many years ago was that?

I'm 36.

I was 19.

You were 19, and you're now 36. I like seeing you here. So, brother, give him a hand. He's a beautiful man. But Sean. What made me think of Sean as. Sean lives in a beautiful state. He could be bitching and complaining and whining. What does he do? His whole life is not about himself. That's why he's so happy. He doesn't live in himself. He lives outside himself, serving things he loves. He still takes care of himself and he's funny as shit. And he likes to seduce women and things like, I can't talk about right now, but. Oh, you're married now. Okay. Well, it's good. I'm glad of here. It's about fricking time. All right, John, good to see you grew up. Now, the bottom line is this young man over here who now is a different stage of life. He's always been who he is. I think he lived because he lived for more than himself. I'm sure he felt pain. But we only suffer when we think about what's being done to us or what people are going to think or what they should have done or hadn't done. And you can't control that stuff anyway. I mean, why be pissed when people are going to do that? Are people going to be mean? Yes or no? Are people gonna be unfair and unjust? Yes or no. Are people gonna be beautiful and generous? Yes or no? You just never know when that shit's gonna happen, so might as well enjoy yourself along the way. And I suggest today, if you want, if there's any gift I came by to give you, it's to tell you what you know already, but get you to make a decision about it. To actually decide. I'm gonna live in a beautiful state. That doesn't mean I don't get angry or pissed or tired. You know, suffering arises and you end it the moment you go, holy shit, I'm thinking about me. If I do this, I'll always be suffering. The human mind is always looking for what's wrong. The human brain is not designed to make you happy. It's designed to make you survive. Happiness. That's your job. And you only get it if you draw a line in the sand. That's how it's going to be. And I can tell you the few people that do it, I know a few people that have done it. They have magnificent lives. And when you're in a beautiful state, the best ideas come in. This man lives in a beautiful state. Every time I talk to him, I love seeing Peter. Peter's just always on about something. But notice, you know, he's doing unbelievably well. There's nothing wrong with that. But almost everything he's doing is about more than himself. And so that's why he feels so alive. He's not suffering an ounce. He's in ecstasy. He's not lucky. He's living life a certain way. It's a beautiful way. I'm honored to have you as a friend.

Thank you, brother.

Wow.

Now say something better than that. I mean, like, let's really see how.

Good you are here, man.

Oh, God.

Yeah. This guy goes, my mom.

I'm like, there's no way to follow this.

What the hell was the question?

Truthfully, he didn't have to say anything. He lives this shit. I'm just telling you what he lives. He really does. I'm not saying that to blow smoke. This guy lives it. If you meet this man, how many met this man before? And he was in a wonderful state. Let me show hands. I don't think I've ever seen him not in a wonderful state. I've seen him have some painful, challenging places, but he doesn't stay there and look what he's able to create because of it. He is a nine year old boy who's on fire. He's on fire. To light the world on fire with what's possible, it's a beautiful thing. I honor you.

Hey, I hope you're enjoying this video. And I want to let you know that I have a new book that's come out and if you'd like to get it absolutely free, there's a link below in the description or you can wait till the end of this video or you can Simply go to joesfreebook.com and you can get a copy there.

So the contribution I'll make. Thank you, Tony. And I think it was about impossible and mindset and so forth is the reality is there is very little that's impossible, period. It just is. And your mindset, as soon as you say something is impossible, then you shut down every possibility for solving it, right? And we all know this. And the challenge is that it's really hard not to be in that state because we get thrown stuff all the time. And what I want to share with you is an experiment, which is to say, okay, not only how do I make it, not how do I make it possible, but how do I actually go 10 times bigger? And you've heard me speak about this, you know, moonshot thinking, bold thinking, whatever the case, whatever terminology you want to give it. And most of us in our life are trying to make a 10% improvement. And we know this, this is I'm trying to increase my revenues by 10%, I'm trying to reduce my sales by 10%, save 10% more of the, you know, the lands out there. Whatever it truly is, we all have this sort of beaten into us by life and by the rest of the universe that you can make these small incremental improvements. But the fact of the matter is that there are those in the world that go ten times bigger. And you, every one of us can be that. And as soon as you say, I want to not only solve this thing, but go 10 times bigger in my work, in the things, and can I say this in something that you're truly passionate about, not just about earning a little bit more money. I mean, it really should be in something that you care truly about that is bigger than yourself, that is impacting the world. As soon as you try and go 10 times bigger, three magical things happen. Number one, even if you have no idea how to solve it, no idea how to get there, you'll be amazed at what you come up with. And what's interesting is our legacy, our past anchors us to where we are today. And you have to let go of that. You truly have to let go of all the stuff in your past, what you thought you'd done, all of the infrastructure that you've built, to let yourself go. When Elon Musk built Tesla, the reason Tesla was such an amazingly better car is he didn't have 100 years of Detroit to hold onto. He started with a clean sheet of paper and imagine what could be. The second thing is when you try and go 10 times bigger versus 10% bigger, it's 100 times the, the value proposition. And it's never 100 times more expensive or 100 times harder. And so you get this increased capability. And then the third thing is when you try and go 10 times bigger to solve a problem 10 times bigger, you've got to reinvent stuff. You have to actually go and figure out, okay, I have no idea how I'm going to solve that, but you're going to start to reinvent things. So when Eric and I were working on, on asteroid mining, we had to reinvent, we had to have so much computational power onboard the spacecraft, we had to come up with brand new sensors and hyperspectral and mid wave IR that didn't exist, had never been licensed because these spacecraft were going to be operating at 200 million miles away. And that forced us to come up with new kinds of capabilities that were not currently possible. And you'll be amazed with those capabilities that you create in your business, in your life, enable you to do. And so there's this massive benefit, this payoff, this dividend that comes from expanding your mind and not being anchored to the past. And so I think that there are very few things that are truly impossible. I think that impossible is a state of mind. And I'll say one other thing. The people in your life are part of that anchoring. And so how do you anchor yourself with a new set of people? Right. I'm looking at my dear friend Naveen Jain here with whom We've opened up XPrize India and are really working on solving women's and girls issues in India and providing abundant drinking water in India. I mean, so how do you surround yourself with amazing people who live in the state of anything is possible? I'm blessed at Xprize, at Singularity University, at HY&PRI. I live that constantly. And so how do you do that? Where are you doing that? What is your nothing is impossible community here? Yeah, it is here. It is truly here. And so that's really critically important because once you get into that mindset, then you start freeing yourself from the bullshit that other that you tell yourself and people tell you because we are living in a world where constant amazing miracles happen. The other thing, because I'll put my commercial into this. Stop watching the news. Stop watching the news. You could not pay me enough to have the crisis news network or the constantly negative news network, whatever you call cnn, pollute my mind. Really. I have social networks, I have, you know, Google filters and so forth. I was just telling Arianna about this and hopefully she'll do this. I want, on the front page of Huffington Post, I said, I want a slider where I can control the percentage of positive news stories.

Right?

How would you like that? Instead of. Because right now it's. Because right now it's 10 to 1 negative to positive and that pollutes your mind. And we heard an amazing presentation this morning. I apologize. Who was the gentleman who was talking about that? Talking about a few minutes of negative news in the morning.

Thank you.

Yeah, Sean, it's true. It's like, why would you possibly invest in the world and in the life and all these things if the world is falling apart, if the crisis. New network is showing you airplane accident. If airplane accident. Airplane accident. What problem is that? The news networks never tell you there was no school shooting today at this school or this airplane actually flew LA to New York and actually made it and everybody survived. That's not news. And so we get this disproportionate view. And so our minds are constantly. The mindset you have when you watch the negative news is awful. Not that it's not going on. It's not that there's this amazing hardship and lives that are on the precipice of. Of hunger and death around the world. But the world is getting better at an extraordinary rate. And you can make a difference in it. And there is no problem. There is no problem we cannot solve. Period. End of statement.

So.

So what's this whole 10 times thing? I'll start with that. Like what, what is this?

Yeah, I mean, what is that or.

Anything you want to say?

I don't know.

Yeah, this, this came up first of all from Strategic Coach Experience. So we started the program in 1989 for entrepreneurs. And so around 95, so we had had about six years. I started having examples in the clients that I was dealing with that they had gone 10 times. And what was interesting wasn't the result 10 times, but the kind of thinking, because it was a challenge. It's a challenging thing to have suddenly a 10 times increase. And this is revenue. I mean, we're talking about revenue. So I put together a thinking tool which was called the 10 times mind expander. Because I find if you have a 10 times result but your mind hasn't expanded.

Right.

It's destructive, you know, it's destructive of how you think about things. It's destructive about your relationships, it's destructive about a lot of things. Okay. So it's actually that it's what you do with your mind as you have that time of growth. So that's really where it started.

Wait, what year did the 10 times mind experience?

96, I think it was. So a year before you came?

Yeah, yeah, I started in 1996. You know, it's really interesting that you say that. I mean, I'm just thinking of this right now, now is that when I first filled that out, my brain at the time was telling me that's bullshit. I mean, I'm not going to go 10 times. I mean, because I was still in that rugged, individualist mode, trying to do everything. I didn't have any real concept of teamwork and all of that. And it's interesting that you. Because that brought me back. I mean, we didn't have this discussion prior to. This is all like stream of consciousness right now for me, but just thinking about the resistance that my brain had to that concept initially. But that was before I filled it out. And then when I filled it out and started thinking, you know, because the brain cannot avoid a question, right? It starts making you really explore, well, what would have to be. What would have to exist in my life or not exist in my life in order for that to be a possibility. Which is exactly what I would like to have happen with everyone here today. And many of you have already done this. You're already there. It's just, how do we. Okay, now how do we. 10 times that, right?

Yeah.

Okay, awesome. So let me ask you this. First, Ben, you are now translating a lot of Dan's thinking and concepts in the books, putting it out into the world. They're very, very amazing books. I mean, even the intro of the gap, how many of you have read the Gap in the gain? Okay, the intro, it's so good. So in the process of doing this, what has this been doing for your thinking? Because you have, you know, you've gone through. I mean, you've had a crazy few couple of years. I mean, instant kids, like instant oatmeal. And, you know, writing all these books, you were at one point the number one writer in the world on medium.com. you've totally transitioned and have a different thing. So you've completely have. You know, I've seen so much growth in you even since, you know, you first joined Genius Network and just everything going on. So what's it like to.

Well, one of the reasons, and sorry for my voice, but one of the reasons I like 10 times is for this very reason, that when you're at 10 times, it looks fundamentally different, whereas two times you're just trying to do more of the same. And so when I first joined Genius Network, it was all blogs. I was starting my first book, whereas at 10 times it does look fundamentally different. I'm no longer writing blogs. That makes absolutely no sense in this situation. And so I like that 10 times creates transformation. But as far as working with Dan, one of the things I love. So I actually choose the books. I was the one who chose who, not how. And I really. First time I ever read the gap in the gain, it just changed how I saw everything and I knew who, not how, would be first. But I was. And I also had listened to Dan's talk, 10x is easier than 2x. And I think that we'll explain more of why that's true. But I was asking Dan after who, not how, is in place, which book makes sense to go next, Gap and gain or 10x? And his response was, well, there's no point in helping people go 10x if they're going to stay in the gap all along the way. And once you get up to 10x, why stay in the gap? And so it's a fun collaboration. Honestly, it's very much a free zone. I think it makes life easier. I am in my unique ability and it encourages me increasingly to go into my unique ability. So as one example, this is the first book where I've actually gotten a ghostwriter to write this book. I'm applying more who, not how. One of the things that Dan talks about is never show up without a team. And I'm increasingly showing up in every situation I have with a better team. And so even with this book, in order for me to go 10x, I need to make my life easier. And it's amazing getting this writer who has written 30 books, she's a much better writer than me. And it makes my life so easy and all of my stress is gone. And so I just love, I love learning. And so it's a beautiful, fun collaboration. A lot of freedom.

Yeah, that's.

Well, you know, let's define a couple of things too when you guys say it, because a lot of people here that are in strategic coach understand coach talk right in the terminology. But what does free zone mean? How would you define that?

Well, another thing that I notice, clients as they've really become successful. Actually, not so much that they've become successful, but they've really become free. Freed up their time, their money, their relationship and their purpose. They stop competing. It's just something I noticed. They stopped competing. And what they're looking more for, where it's not about cash anymore, it's about other people's capability. So I write a lot, actually. When I was 70, I said, you know, what a really neat project would be is to write 100 books in 100 quarters. Okay. And they're small books. Anyone who's seen our books, they're, you know, they're about 60 pages. And I'm just trying to think Barnes and Noble was one of the big stories. I can't think of what was the other.

Borders.

Borders. Borders had a survey of ebooks and they. So ebooks for the first time actually gave publishers a way of measuring when someone started a book, how far did they get in the book. If you bought a book.

You got.

A best selling book, but hardly anybody's read more than 10% of the book. And so what they discovered is that if a book is over 200 pages, 3% finish the book. This is nonfiction. This is not fiction. Fiction if it's a good story, everybody finishes the book. And then if it's 100 pages, only 10% of people finish the book. But if it's less than 60 pages, 60 pages or less, 80% of the people finish the book. So I said, I'll just write books that are copywise less than 60 pages. And a lot of people, if they have a book they've been working on for 20 years and it's got 25 chapters, they would have been better to produce 25 little books. Take a chapter, make it a book, take a chapter, make it a book. And especially for entrepreneurs, because you're not writing the books for the money. You make your money with your business. The books are a marketing strategy. So I've done that in 30 quarters. I've written 30 books. And what it does, and I didn't realize the value of doing that, but it gave. When a capability like Ben came along and I met him at my very first 100k meeting, and Ben came over and he had a break and he sat down with me and he said, I noticed you write a lot of books, but you don't write for the popular market. And I said, you know, if it's not finished in 90 days, it's. It's not going to work with me, you know, so I don't take on any project I can't finish in 90 days. You know, like, I just fall off a cliff after 90 days. And I'm sure not going to attend any meetings and I'm sure not going to deal with a publisher. And he said, well, I, you know, I know how to do that. And he's got a great style. I mean, he just has a beautiful, beautiful public reader style, major market style. So when he sat down, something clicked in my brain. And I said, I think this is good. And I think. I don't even know if it was a handshake. I don't know if we brought me.

An impact filter the next morning.

Yeah, yeah. And I kind of success. Yeah. But the way we did it, and this is a way of thinking about 10 times how we put the question, collaboration together. Because you couldn't hire Ben. There's no way of hiring Ben. Okay. You can't get this kind of talent by hiring them. Okay. And we don't have that kind of talent inside the company, what we're looking for right here. And so he knows the entire territory and he knows all the other people who can supply the capability that he doesn't know about. I don't know Any of that stuff.

Hey, I hope you're enjoying this video. And I want to let you know that I have a new book that's come out, and if you'd like to get it absolutely free, there's a link below in the description. Or you can wait till the end of this video, or you can Simply go to joe'sfreebook.com and you can get a copy there.

So what I realized is that at the level we were operating with Ben, and then the other great collaborator on the project is Tucker. Max and Tucker, you know, Tucker is just. Tucker is the map maker for the publishing world. He really knows his stuff. And so originally we thought Ben's agent and publisher would be it. And that turned out to be not true. So we were at a genius network meeting and Joe had it on publishing. And Ben was there because for obvious reasons, and Tucker was there for obvious reasons, but Reed Dracey from Hay House was there. And I remember I walked into the room in Tempe. I walked into the room and Reid was sitting there. And I said, hi, I'm Dan Sullivan. And he said, I know who you are. And he said, you know, he introduced himself and he said, I followed your stuff for years, but you don't write major market books. And I said, well, that might change. So Tucker and Ben took Reid out that night and they essentially had the deal by the end of dinner for one book. And then as a result of the really fast start of the first book, Tucker and Ben worked with Reed. And so we have a 10 year, 10 book contract. And Ben determines every year what the book is.

Yeah, I think one.

No, but I want to tell you this. So people say, well, what's the financial deal? And I said, well, with a book, there's an advance and there's royalties. And they said, so how do you split it? And I said, well, real easy. I have a really easy split. It's called 100% zero. So Ben gets all the money forever. Ben gets all the money for the book. And people say, you're giving away all the money? And I says, what money? What money are you talking about? There wasn't any money until you put the collaboration together. The collaboration created the money. How do I get paid? Every once in a while, somebody who reads a book signs up for the program. So far, 400. Average lifetime value, $40,000.

Tell him your goal for 2024. But then I want to share a thought on Free Zone. Yeah, did you want to share your goal for 2024 or no? About the Books.

Yeah, go ahead.

He said he wants a thousand people in strategic coach in 2024 through the books.

Yeah, yeah, 2024. So, you know, it grows because when you have a book out there and you put out a new book, the new book sells the book that's already out there. Books sell each other, you know, I mean, you know that from fiction.

The best marketing of your last book is your new book.

Yeah, yeah. So anyway, I mean, it's an interesting thing because we know how to make money. Ben knows how to make money. So if you know how to make money, it doesn't have to be about money, but capability acquiring. You know, you can increase your capability by 10 times and the IRS doesn't know it.

You know, there's a couple things I was just giving.

You know, this is in relationship to Garrett. Yeah, Garrett had a great line. You know, Joe always says what Dan said for. I think that was the lineup. Yeah. But Dan doesn't say anything that anybody hears unless Dan knew Joe.

So thank you.

Just put things in their proper perspective. Yeah.

You know what also is.

And ours is a great collaborator.

Oh, absolutely. No, we have a fantastic collaboration. We don't have an affiliate thing. I'm the highest referring person to Strategic Coach. You're the highest referring person to. To Genius Network. And we try to refer people and recommend things that we know will make our clients better. If someone joins Strategic Coach as a Genius Network member, I know Strategic Coach is going to do things with them that are going to have them come back as a better Genius Network member and vice versa. So that's how we collaborate. And we're also, all of us are very much long term in terms of thinking, which has always been a weird thing for me because I'm a very spontaneous, impulsive person. And what I do, though, is I stick with things that I see growth and benefit from and for where I feel good, like what I would say, and I've heard this a lot with Genius Network and with Strategic Coach from other people also. Half the time I have no idea what the hell is going to happen when I go to Strategic Coach. But I walk out of there feeling better. I just like, oh, I feel more capable. Right. And I want people to walk out of here feeling more capable. Like, how many of you feel more capable, to use Dan's words, direction, confidence, capability, and clarity. How many of you feel more of that today than you did yesterday morning? So when you put yourself in those environments all the time, that's many of the reasons why we read certain books or we meet with certain people is to do that. And the collaboration between you and Ben did not even happen until you were seven or eight years into Genius Network. Right. Because you started in 2010. 11. 2011.

11, yeah.

You know, the thing is, what pains.

Me is when I. Oh, it is 10. It was November of 10.

Yeah, because I remember we. Yeah, I remember we shot a video in 2010 with a group of us, and at one of the first meetings you came to. And so the point is, like anything that you want in life, it's going to just be more effective if you go deep versus going shallow. And the problem is so many people, let me go to this mastermind or let me go to this seminar, and if it doesn't just hit me. Exactly. You know, I'm going to. One of the funniest things, two things that were very insightful when I started Genius Network, to go to this 10 times, thinking and stuff, is that I discovered that I did not expect is how many. Because most of the clients I target this to in the beginning were information marketers or a lot of marketers. And I've done my best to bring in the best marketers, but also distance myself because some of the greatest marketers in the world are the biggest con artists. And there's a lot of people that were information marketers that would talk about how much money they help people make. And I didn't realize how many people that claim they made a lot of money, didn't have any money, and could not afford to cut a check for 25 grand. That was fascinating to me. I'm like, weren't you just like shooting a picture in front of your fucking Ferrari and talking about how you made a million dollar launch in two days and you can't cut a check, then you're completely bullshitting people about what you're actually doing. That was the first insight. The second insight is there are just as many rich seminar junkies as there are wannabes that just bounce from one event to the next. They have money, but they just don't stick with anything. They're not, they're. They're very promiscuous with their, their pursuit of, you know, they don't like monogamy when it comes to groups. You know, let's go to this group and this group. And if you're in like 400 different groups, I mean, how deep can you go with any of them?

Right?

So part of it is in different groups resonate for different people. I mean, I think we've referred more people into different groups than any company that has a group. Right. Because some things resonate with different people for different reasons. But the thing is, is when you find something that's good, go deep with it. And there are times, because I want to talk about what's the. What do you have to give up? If that's even the right word? I mean, what's the sacrifice? Because there are times in this journey all the time, and you all know this, where your business is kicking ass and then a pandemic happens, then your spouse dies, then you have an employee that rips you off, there's some regulation that's made, some vendor. I mean, there's a million different things that are going to throw you off. And I think the group you go to, the people that you know. Success, in my opinion, is not how much more shit you've learned. A lot of it has to do with your tolerance for bullshit. Like the same treadmill of shit that I was dealing with 20 years ago, it's actually 10 times as amplified tremendously. So the treadmill of shit has never stopped. It's my ability to deal with it and my capabilities and who I turn to and my tolerance of it because of what I learned. The same stuff I deal with every morning would have killed me when I first started my business. Damn near. Well, 1990 was when I started my first. Late 80, 1989, 1990. And so, and I'll tell you, your thinking was the biggest accelerator for me. I mean, I came into Strategic Coach in one of the. Dealing with one of the most personal crises I ever dealt with. I was, you know, I was in active addiction as a result of something that had happened to me. And I'll tell you, it was one of the few things that gave me the ability to just function in a company when my life was personal chaos. My clients, fortunately, still did well, but I would go to bed many nights wishing I was dead. I mean, I had a lot of suicidal thoughts during some of those periods of my time. And coach was, as crazy as it sounds, was more helpful than most of the therapy I was doing.

Yeah, it was interesting last year when Joe was on sabbatical. We had about a. Babs and I, we had sort of a check in with you, but not about business. Just, you know, what were some of the experiences we were having. And I met Joe for the first time in 2008. He had done a year of the program with another coach. And then you jumped.

You mean 1998.

1998, yeah, 1998. And I really Clicked. I mean, the ones who are really crazy, I feel very comfortable with is the ones who sit there like this, you know, that I have a hard time with. And so, Joe, we've become fast friends, and we have nothing in common from a personality. It's just. I mean, we have zero income.

That's true. It's pretty obvious if you're not paying attention.

But I think there are some fundamental issues of integrity and that where I think we have common ground. And I was saying to Babs, when Joe started on his sabbatical, I said, when I first met Joe, he couldn't have taken a half hour sabbatical.

Yeah, yeah.

No, I mean, he would have been squirrely by 15 minutes. You know, it's true.

It's true. Howard, you have to use the mic if you. He's itching.

But I just want to finish this. Finish this thought before we get started. And that is that. It was a beautiful thing to watch last year of just checking in with Joe every month and then actually fully participating in the 100k program during that time. And all sorts of talents just rose to the surface in two ways. The team just got really, really great. Really, really got last year. So the capability you have in your team has been multiplied over the last year. And the other thing is you found out there were other people who could totally facilitate meetings. And Howard. Howard is one of the. I think the two days that we spent with Howard, you know, his agenda and his hand, I think, first of all, it was a huge surprise to me. You know, I was empowered, you know, and it was just beautiful and, you know, and it was packed, filled with really, really interesting people, including his cousin who's Abraham Lincoln, well known, worldwide known Abraham Lincoln, Lincoln expert. So it was really, really great. But when you see that is that without working over the last year, you had two massive capabilities develop, but it was because of who you were over the previous 20 years that those capabilities developed.

No, totally. And that's one of the best things that came out of the sabbatical is the fact that you, you know, I heard you say it. I heard other people talk about it. I go away for a little bit, but I never, you know, take a whole year. And you don't realize how, when, when. When your team. You don't know how good your team is until you leave.

Yep.

You know, and I mean, really leave. Not just there to check on it until they.

Until they can't call you.

Yeah, yeah.

So until you can't rescue your team, you don't know how good your team is.

And Eunice is an example. Who's she has next month she'll have been with me for 27 years. And Eunice is amazing. I mean, Eunice is amazing. And I didn't think she could do what she was able to do last year until I left. Her capabilities massively increased. It was incredible.

Well, that's actually one of the biggest keys to 10x is own freedom of time.

Right.

It is about freedom ultimately for me.

Well, but freedom of time, yeah. Like most of the people who I've seen go 10x often, it's working 50 to 5, you know, and then freeing yourself up.

Yeah. I think almost everyone here, if you found one area of your life that you could really just rearrange the furniture, totally upheave something and change the environment, something that you just dreamed you wish you had, and just say, well, I have enough money to solve this problem. I'm just going to do it. And if you actually created a more conducive environment and if you got rid of people in your life or on your team that just, you know, if you took the approach of, you know, the Derek Sivers thing, it's either a hell yes or a no. I mean, if you look at any of the people on your team and you ask yourself, knowing what I know now, would I have hired them? And the answer is no, then rotting food doesn't get better with age in the refrigerator. It gets worse, you know, so if you look at all of the rotting milk in your life, somewhere that you just tolerate that you just let it stay there because it's not so smelly, it's not so toxic, you're not really drinking it, but if you did, you'd be poisoned. You'd find all kinds of areas where there's thorns, where there's mosquitoes, where there's things that bug the living shit out of you, but they bug the living shit out of you, not enough for you yet to do something about it. But if you emphasize the removal of those sort of things and creating the sort of environment that is most conducive. I mean, I love the whole tool belt, toolbox, tool shed. You know, if you have a phone with a broken screen and you're like, I just haven't made the time to get. But you're, like looking at it all day long. Fucking fix the screen. It's like $150 if it's an iPhone, like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Fix the screen. But see, that's just a representation of like, you know, there's different ways of saying it. How you do one thing is how you do everything and just. But these little things that irk you, these people that irk you, all of these things that aren't elf they're half, but they're not so painful. And the ability to extract them out of your life. I mean, a lot of you, your life would just simply be transformed if you just either eliminated or removed 10% or 5% of everyone that is toxic, negative, dishonest, out of your world to set up better rules of engagement. You know, that sort of stuff. So when I was talking in the beginning yesterday, like, I've been working on a document of rules of engagement and going forward, what am I actually going to allow into my life? What am I going to do take on? Where am I going to show up? Who am I going to show up with? And a lot of this came from a Genius Network member who I never should have allowed into the group. But this person was referred by a couple of people, and he said all of the right things. And even though I said, well, you know, he wanted to kind of start in the group and midway through and this guy just extracted everything. He came to, you know, multiple meetings and perfect example, like, after every one of them, he and I used your line with him several times. Even sat down with this individual just to listen to him. And you know, he just blaming, criticizing. I'm like, well, what are your expectations? Well, you know, we just keep going back, just this whole thing. And every person has a purpose in life, even if it's to serve as a bad example. And.

No, it's very true.

Yeah. And man. And so. But what it did, though, it was so helpful because I'm going into going, this guy is just an asshole. I mean, there's like the amount of energy and work now. I also know that people that are hurt hurt others. And I also feel bad for him because, you know, I mean, there's some things that made him the way he is, but I am in Genius Network. I'm not a rehab center. He's better served for genius recovery. And even though addiction is not his key thing, it's more like narcissism and arrogance and all that. But the thing, though is I went into that whole experience just taking what he's sharing. Not his world, his narrative is a completely different world, the way you see it. But the amount of juice that I extracted out of this and how, I'm going to say, set up barriers to not let individuals like that come into the group in the future. What it's done for me to be more thoughtful for people that are in Genius Network that are very caring. And the biggest thing I got out of it is I don't want people in Genius Network that are like drive bys, you know, let me just pop. Because what I learned running high level areas is there are a lot of very successful financially, not in other areas of life, but there's some very successful seminar junkie. They just go to more expensive shit like all the time. But they just pop around. They pop around and they don't commit themselves to stuff. So for people to get the most out of Genius Network, since you and Babs have done so well and there's so many amazing members that are in the room right now, what would you say in terms of commitment for people? How to think about this group, how to get the most out of it and if you're not there, don't do it, don't stay. I mean, because there's a lot of different, you know, your time is really valuable. And look, I would love to have the right people as clients, but I don't want the wrong people as clients. I want right fit clients. And I want everyone listening to do the same thing in their own lives so that they set up the right fit. Because you know, everyone here wants people that are going to utilize them, appreciate them, refer them, enhance them, you know, and reward them and reward them financially. Which is Dan's model of five different ways you get paid. So how should people here look at the commitment to this and getting the most out of it?

Well, I think the big thing is that, and you know, and this is a lifetime activity that you always have a picture of yourself that's kind of measurable in the future, that's bigger and better than the person you are right now. And that becomes the law of your life. And therefore everything in your present world either supports that or it opposes that. And you just very specifically start eliminating every factor in your life that doesn't support that picture of yourself. Because you know, we live in the present, but. But the present is a moving line. And so we have two ideas. We have the idea of our future self and we have the idea of our past self. And it doesn't take any talent to have a past. You just got to keep breathing. You know, having a future really requires work and a lot of people. And what I notice, I never get real excited about amazing things, 30 year olds. And the reason is you don't know what the Source of the amazement is because they might have had great parents, they had great teachers, they had an amazing support system that got them. And I was talking to someone yesterday who is in his 30s and I said, I find for entrepreneurs, the age between 30 and 40 is the toughest age because there you have to choose to actually be a unique individual. Up until then, it's like muscle. Our bodies grow muscle until we're 30, but afterwards we're on our own because nature are only, you know, the only. You're supposed to have done what you're supposed to do by 30, which is reproduce and keep the species going, you know. But after that, I mean, nature really wants the parts back. They'd like to, nature like to recycle you after 30, unless you're doing something really useful. So my feeling is the reason why I eliminate criticism and complaining and blaming is because it just keeps you from getting to the person and you're always giving yourself an out. So the word decision means to kill off the alternative. That's the actual definition of decision. Decision is that you kill off the alternative and you have this picture of yourself. So my image of myself, you know, when I'm 99 is really powerful. You know, it's actually when I'm 95 because I set a 25 year goal for myself and who I would be, who Babs and I would be and who the company would be when I'm 95. And that's the governing law of my everyday. So. So what experiences am I having today that I can use to support that picture of 95? And what do I get rid of? And you know, and you know, it's very specific. So, you know, things either give you energy or they take your energy away. And if a person takes my energy away, I'm going to try to not have that person in my life. I had to laugh. There are some people who are such useful bad examples that I never want them to change. Yeah, that's true. Because they're so good. Because I see them, I say, oh.

It'S like a reminder.

Oh, it's a reminder.

It's like a neon sign.

Yet like, yeah, yeah, do not change a thing. I love what you're doing for me. So I'm getting so much. You're the gift that keeps on giving, you know, I just, I, whoa, don't want to go there.

Yeah.

Well, here's what I would say then based on what Dan said, you know. So the word decide comes from the Latin word homicide. To cut off.

Well, side means to Kill off. The Latin. The Latin word, you know, homicide, infanticide, you know, it's to kill off. And what you're killing off is. Is the alternative. And so you've made a choice, and then you kill off the alternatives, except for that choice. And, you know, it sounds at a conceptual level by talking about. It's actually demonstrated to little choices that you're making continually, every day, you know. So I have an exercise that I've done for. Today was day 620, 22. And I don't do well with diets. You know, thinking about food, you know, what I can eat, what I didn't eat, don't eat. I just find it a bothersome thing because it seems to be focusing my attention on the wrong thing. So I just established a habit. Before breakfast every day, I burn a thousand calories of exercise. And I've done that for 622 days. And what's interesting.

What did you do this morning?

I did.

I did about 1200. 1200.

What are you doing?

Elliptical. All sorts of other work. And, you know, I hasn't seen him.

He's doing something weird in the room. Babs, that you guys?

No, no. I get up real early, and it takes about 80, 90 minutes to burn a thousand calories. And I just do it every day. And I. You know, it's a habit now, but what I've noticed is my eating has changed, my sleeping has changed, changed, and I've added a lot of other exercise, stretching and, you know, doing it. But I just have that one habit. It's like the one habit that solves 20 other problems. And so, you know, and I have to. Because, you know, nature at this point, at 74, really wants the parts back. And, you know, you really feel the pull and you feel. Of people dying around you, you. Because they think they're supposed to die.

Tell me your thing about, like, if you're going to compete with people, it's good to compete with older people.

Yeah. Yeah. If you've ever thought about competing with your peers, wait till after 70. They're really easy. Except for Joel and Joe Sugarman. Joe Sugarman. You can't compete with those guys. But everybody else, it's bing.

That is great. Is there anything else? Because we do.

You gave me bonus time today.

Yeah, no, exactly.

Yeah. Just. I have a question, because I've known your story, you know, like the incidents of your story. And I thought Nick did a masterful job of creating a marvelous mosaic that really had unity to it that last night. I just wondered, you know, After. After a sleep, overnight, how it's hitting you now, what you saw, because it was hard. When I first saw my video, I went into fact, finder mode. Well, I said, that's not quite right.

That.

That's not exactly the way. And after a while, I said, screw it. It works, right?

Yeah.

So I just wondered what the impact on you last night, because I. I thought it was very masterful.

It was. It's still sort of surreal. Like I mentioned last night, it was. I was pleasantly surprised. I was a little worried because I had said to Nick, I don't want a fluff piece. I don't want to. You know, I mean, I am a marketer, so I know how things could be spun. And I actually thought it was really well done. And the bigger thing that impacted me was all the comments from everyone that came up to me in just the absolute generosity of Devane to, you know, to finance that and to put it together. Where are you again?

That's right.

Right there. Okay. Yeah. And sorry, the lights, sometimes up here, you can't see as easily. I'm just blown away by that. It's such a gift. And there were several people that came up to me that had tears in their eyes and were so impacted by it and were sharing personal things with me about their addiction, about their family members. And I have to watch it again and not in a state of like, you know, like, wow, because it was sort of like a deer in the headlight. Look, watching it last night and realizing, is that really a piece about me as a business guy or just this human being? Yeah. And that was the. And there's so much other footage that we did. And so I'm now thinking, you know, I was talking with Geeta about it, like, how can we utilize that to inspire and encourage people along with my objective and my mission with addiction. Because there's so many interviews that were done, including me doing art with Layla that is not in there, which I love to have people see how we create art. You know, I mean, there was a. There was a lot where I was throwing ceramic pots with a guy I went to high school with. You know, because when I was throwing pottery in high school, it was the only thing that allowed my brain to escape at the time other than being high. And so we threw pots. We did poor art. You know, the mannequins that you see that are painted around here. Layla. Is Layla in the room? Is she anywhere?

Yeah.

So I might. I might actually, if we have time, demonstrate doing art to show everyone how they can do that. But it really, it was, it was really powerful for me. I was really pleased. And the other thing too is how still it's difficult for me to take in compliments. You know, that's still something where. And a lot of times I can connect other people, but still not really connect with how deeply that impacts others. And I guess I think we all have that.

Can I add one thing to that? About 20 years ago, I made a decision that if it's the right audience, the audience is right. So when people tell me it's really great, it's great. And if they tell me something else, I take that seriously too. So I think it's a thing in your mind that for so many years you had to be the source of your own confidence, but now you can get confidence from like minded people.

Yeah, yeah. And it.

So stop, stop rejecting confidence. Yeah.

You're telling me to stop it right now.

Just stop doing that.

Yeah, Yeah.

And so I wanted to bring Dan up here because I genuinely want everyone that is in this room to not just get the most you can out of Genius Network. I want you to give as much as you can to Genius Network. I want you to give as much as you can to people that are givers. And I would like people to receive as much as they're able of receiving, including myself. And you're going to spend a lot of time, a lot of money, a lot of energy learning, going to places. There's a lot of different things that we could all do with our time. There are a few places you can plug into that will absolutely transform your business, your perspective, how you think about things, the relationships. And when you're in an environment like this, when you're in an environment like Strategic Coach, you can, while you're there, you can really, just through proximity, you can think in ways that you won't do on your own. I mean, it's just like the thinking tools left to their own devices. People will not do this sort of stuff. And this is an invitation for you to get the most. I mean, I want this to be a school that pays you to attend. I don't want Genius Network to be known about for me, I want it to be known for the people that are in the group. And I want you to get the most out of it. And I also, if you're kind of sitting on the fence about things, I would just say, you know, either determine how to go deep with something, because we live in a world of shallow. We live in a world of shallow. And Going deep with anything is how you're going to get the most out of it. I mean, you're better off reading, you know, and mastering one book than you are reading in a very shallow way, 20 books, just to say, I read that book, you know, so obligation elimination is important. Distractions of things that aren't the most important are critical. And I would like people to be committed into this for a long time. When we talk about return on genius, that's the last thing I'll ask you is return on genius. It's a term that I've been talking with Dean Jackson for a while, and we've created some return on genius tracking forms that we've not launched into the group yet. And we're going to do it in 2009. 19. 2009, 2019, so that people can look at where they're at and what's the return on genius? So you actually can see that this is not a cost, but also when you know what's working. And it's one of the main reasons I brought the business panel up and how much emphasis you saw on several people talking about financial statements. When you actually measure and track, you know what you're doing, you're going to get improvement. When you have to report it, it's going to improve exponentially because everything measured improves and everything measured and reported improves exponentially. And I want the return on genius to be massive. Not just financially, though. See, that's the trick. You know, a lot of this is, well, we can measure money and that's great because then we can validate. See, it's not costing any money. And if you're in Genius Network and say, I don't raise the price, and I probably will, but let's say. And that was kind of a setup there. So genius network is $25,000 in 10 years. That's $250,000 investment. In the scheme of things. If you're actually applying anything of what Dan was just sharing, you're going to make your 250k back, like, immediately. The question is, where is it going to take you and your life in 10 years? It's the same reason I'm Strategic Coach. So I think strategic. If you're not a strategic coach member and you don't have a team built, if you. If you're out of control with how your. Your personal time is strategic, they just align with each other. So. Well, that's how many members are in Strategic Coach are in the room. Yeah, See, and so Genius Network and Strategic Coach, this is where people come to connect with amazing geniuses and wisdoms and learn about marketing and, and other things. And strategic coaches, where you go and what's the summary for people that aren't coach? To summarize, what is coach, what do you guys do?

Well, we talk about that the person we're looking for is successful, talented and ambitious and they have at least 10 times ambition where they want to go. And we've got six levels and the first one is changing your personal game. And like the deciding to be a transformer rather than a consumer is changing your personal game and then you change your teamwork game. Because a lot of entrepreneurs are one person operations and they see people like team members as a necessary evil to be avoided. Okay, so the, you really have to buy into that. You've got certain abilities, I've got really good unique abilities. But I have to magnify that through the unique abilities of others. The third level is that you actually have a company and the company means that you're making money whether you're there or not. And then the next one is you're transforming your market with what we call a self managing comfort, which frees you up just to create the future of the company. And then the fifth level is transforming the industry that you're in, that you're doing things that other people in your industry just can't understand how you're doing it because you're going outside your industry and doing collaborations with other creative entities. It could be corporations, it could be other entrepreneurial firms. And then the other thing is you're playing a global game because in the 21st century, individuals can play a global game with a company that really works. And you know, the panel yesterday really told you what you have to do to actually have a company that can change the world. So that's what we do. And we give people 25 years. So we're very unusual in that we have a 25 year framework and you have 100 questions, quarters in 25 years. And you use each quarter to do five things that would have a compounding effect going forward. And you know, it's a room where all the weird people in the room are normal.

Kind of like this.

And one of the, I think one of the main reasons for addiction is that you've never been anywhere where you feel normal. And the which is addiction for a short period of time makes you feel normal. But when you come to coach your biggest goals, everybody applauds. Your biggest successes, everybody applauds and that makes you normal. And there's got to be a place where the weirdest people in the world have to feel normal. So that's what we've tried to do.

And you can go to those rooms, which is, yeah, very powerful.

And you're weird, I'm weird, but we're normal.

We're all characters in the Star wars bar. Yeah, you're a pretty interesting guy. You've written five New York Times bestsellers. Your newest one, which will be this time we're doing this interview. This is your brand new book called Grow a pair. How to stop being a victim and take back your life, your business and your sanity. But you're known. We're going to talk a lot about the content here. And at the time that we're doing this, I'm only halfway through the book, but I think it's really awesome. And I love your, your books, I love your videos online, you met on tv. You are contrarian. You say it like it is. I tend to agree with almost everything that you say. You've got big cojones. You'll describe that this is not just a male thing. This is a male and female thing. But what do you really do? I mean, what's your deal? You've written all these books. Like your first one is shut up, stop whining and get a life and we'll talk about other stuff. But who is Larry Wingett?

I wake up every single morning figuring out how many people I can piss off by taking.

Do you get joy out of this or just.

I do. It delights me like none other. Now, see, I think that people should be challenged. And if I have a role on this planet, it would be to challenge people's thinking. So I say things that will piss them off, make them think, make them look at what they believe, make them look at all the crap that they're hearing out there from all the motivational bozos and all those happy smiley face people and say, is that really right? And the way you know whether it's right or not is whether it works or not.

Yeah.

And if it's working for you, good. Believe it, go with it. But if it's not, stop believing it and start believing something new. And so I try to challenge people into thinking that's really my role. I do that. I speak. I've been speaking professionally for over 20 years. I've done 400 of the Fortune 500 companies. It's hard to believe, but companies hire me and pay me a whole lot of money and go on stage.

Do they keep having to come back yeah, they do.

Which also surprises me. It's not like I've been unclear the first time. I think they should have gotten it right. But they bring me back and I yell at them and say, you people are idiots. Your service sucks. You need to get off your ass and work harder. The reason you're not doing well is nobody's working or here. So I go on stage and say all that stuff. And they love it. I also discover you can say about anything in the world of people as long as you make them laugh. Right. And anything, if you're funny, they'll get you by with it.

I've always loved the line. Enthusiasm covers many deficiencies, but it's how you do it.

It's how you approach.

So I speak, I write books, I'm on television a lot, work with lots of different television networks, talk about some.

Of that, because some people, you know, a lot of times when I'll be out with you. So, like, where have I seen this guy before? But they can't pin where they.

Well, I'm easy to spot in the crowd first.

Well, of course.

I mean, you sort of look like.

This all the time. We're going to talk about your attire, too.

Yeah.

Do you like my. Get up here?

I mean, it's. It's very safe. It's very safe.

Well, I was, I. I brought some props. I was good to see if you.

Wanted to, you know.

It's brand new, too. Look at this.

I could tell it still has the text. You might want to keep that hidden. I've been on television. I had my own show on A and E for a few years called Big Spender, where I would go in and sort of interrupt people in the middle of their stupidity. People who had wrecked their lives financially. And I would go in and point that out to them. Really? It was a television show about an angry bald man yelling at stupid people until I made them crazy. Cry like a baby. Right. And it was great.

Did it change their lives, though?

No, but it changed a lot of people's lives who watched.

Okay.

I don't think people really change their lives that much during the show. It's hard to turn somebody's life around when they're really, really in love with their lifestyle. You see, I think people change when they want to, not when you want them to.

Gotcha.

And so I don't really ever try to change anybody's lives. I just point out that it would be very smart for them to want to do that all on their own if they don't Want to. I don't care. I'm one of those motivational guys. They'll go on stage and say, I don't care whether you do anything or not. Your life can suck. And I don't care. I'm good with it. What you do in your life has no effect on me. So I don't care what you do. And I have all my buddies in the industry say you shouldn't tell people you don't care. I don't. It's not, I care about my life. I don't care. I don't give a damn what you do. I don't give a damn what anybody, my audience does. Not my deal.

Right.

Go fix your life if you want to. If you like it the way it is, you like being broke, fat, stupid, lazy, I don't care. No impact on me.

So what, what is your, what is your primary motive? Like motivation? Because you're called a motivational speaker. I don't know if you refer to yourself.

No, no, no.

In fact, I license that I am trademark that I'm the world's only irritational speaker. See, I don't think you can motivate somebody from where they are to a better place. I guarantee you I can make you so irritated with where you are you'll do anything to go to a better place.

Do you think that's a far better process?

Much better. You see, I don't think you can paint this pretty picture. You need to go over there. It's wonderful over there. I think you can say, are you kidding me? Your life sucks. You deserve better than this. Let me prove to you what an idiot you've been. So what I do through all of my work is just try to hold a mirror up to people so they can see how dumb they've been. And then show them that they have the power to do whatever they want to do when they decide to fix it. But it's up to them, not up to me. When I get those letters that say, larry, you changed my life, I write them back instantly and say, no, I didn't. I just reminded you that you could change your life.

That's great. That's great. Well, you know, when I was, you know, we all have our own stories, however we want to convey them in, in the business world, when I went into what I do now, which is marketing and teaching people marketing, I read so many books, Think and Grow Rich, all the old ones and the new ones. I've read over a thousand books. Most of them are business related and a lot of self help, a lot of personal development, and I've always had a love hate relationship with it because early on I learned that the best positive attitude in the world is no better than the worst attitude in the world in relation to making money. It wasn't until I actually had a system on knowing how to take a skill and persuade people to give me money and do business with me that how I felt about things had nothing to do with it. Now, having a good attitude, of course you're going to approach things differently, but the fact is, you know, I mean, you can, you can run around and think positive thoughts all day long or you can get motivation, but if you don't direct it into something that's going to produce a result, it's usually just completely ineffective.

I'm not a big believer in a positive attitude.

Well, I'm not either.

I'm a much bigger believer in having a negative attitude. I think you have to get negative about your life before you're willing to take positive action in your life. And so what I like for people to do is to get really negative. When I was shooting the television show, if I could make people cry, tie some emotion to their stupidity, then I knew I hadn't done my job. I want people to cry. I want them to go to the mirror, look themselves in the eye and look up to the heavens and cry like Jimmy Swaggart. Really I want them to, I want them to have that Jimmy Swaggart moment where tears run down their face and they say, oh God, I'm an idiot. When you do that, then you might have a shot at turning things around. But first you have to stop and assess, get negative and then take positive action to create positive results. You don't happy your way to success, you don't think your way to success, you bust your ass and work your way to success.

Okay, so what are your thoughts on the personal development self help industry in general? And I will say this, I'll preface this, that I have taken a lot out of it, okay? I've learned a lot from a lot of people. And as you know, I know a bazillion people in the self help world and half of them, well, I wouldn't say half, probably a lot more completely and utterly full of shit. But there's a lot of people that are incredibly smart and really, really helpful. And at the same time, you know, I learned early on that if you ever invalidate the message because of the messenger, you'll never read another book or attend another seminar because there's a lot of people out there dispensing advice that they themselves do not follow. So what's your, what's your take on? I mean, you like it, you dislike it.

I'm like you, I came from the self help industry and I've like you read a lot of books. In the last 20 years. I read over 4,000 books that cover thousands of years of information, read all the time. Most of my friends come from the self help personal development industry. Yeah, I was truly a self help junkie. And I think when your life is a mess and you're broke and all that sort of stuff and you go, shit, I need help, you become junkie. And just like you said, you read everything you can get your hands on, you quickly figure out that most of it is full of shit because it's not working. And especially you can read all these guys stuff and you say if you believed it and it worked, you'd be better off than you are. And most of them are not really very well off. But my problem with the whole movement was that I think, and I talk about this a lot and grow up here is that the, the message got bastardized along the way. It was originally, the original intent was to empower people that you have, you know, Zig Ziglar said you can be whatever you want to be, do whatever you want to do, have whatever you want to have, as long as you believe in yourself. That's a message of empowerment in my opinion. If you believe you can go accomplish whatever you want based on your level of belief and confidence and so forth. We turned that whole message into a message of entitlement. And so we move from empowerment to entitlement. That's what happened along the way. Self help went from self to help. And so everybody step back and say, well, help me, I deserve it. Do nice things for me because look, I'm special and I'm wonderful and I believe in myself. Instead, what they should have said was, I have the confidence in my own abilities to get off my ass and go make anything in the world I want to happen happen if I'm willing to work hard enough to make it happen.

Yeah, okay. So was your life sort of a wreck when you first started doing this? Like a lot of people that I've learned in there, you know, if you want to look at what someone's interested, what the hell do they write about, you know? And I learned, also learned that sometimes the best messengers of something are also people that suffer the most pain from it. So if someone's Going to talk about how to raise your self esteem. There's a good chance that this person has terrible self esteem and has done enormous research. So much so that they want to start writing about it or making a career out of it. Some of the people that I've met that are really skilled at writing about time management, they actually suck at managing time. But they're really aware of that condition so they can articulate it, they can talk about it, they can write about it. So what, what was going on in your life that caused you to go into this stuff and start doing this? Was this kind of like Larry's version of being a convert of his own system or what?

In a way. I grew up dirt poor and I, a kid made fun of me when I was 13 years old for being dirt poor in front of a bunch of little girls in the eighth grade grade. And it just humiliated me. And I made a decision at that very moment. I was going to get rich. Didn't know what rich looked like. I had no role models for rich. Didn't know what it took. But I just made a decision. I was going to get rich because no one was ever going to make fun of me for being broke again. So I made that decision. At that time in my life at 13, the only thing I knew I ever had going for me was I could work harder than everybody else. I wasn't smarter than everybody. I wasn't better or bigger or badder or meaner or, or any of those things. I could just outwork you no matter what. I could outwork you. I could come in earlier, I could stay longer, whatever it took. And that's what I did. And no matter what job I ever had, I worked harder than everybody else and I did real well. I went to work for the phone company when I was in college and I was a telephone operator when I left 12 years later. I was the area sales manager for AT&T. And so I worked hard to make all that happen. And when I left at the end of, during divestiture of the Bell system, I started my own telecommunications company. Went out again, just did really well because I could outwork everybody. Built it from just me and found a part time installer. Until soon we had offices all over Oklahoma and Kansas and we're doing great. And then the corporation commission ruled that what I did was illegal. So I went into work one morning and a rich guy and I went home that day and my company was gone. So I went from rich to bankrupt that quick. Lost everything. And so I turned to my wife, and she worked there, too, because she came out of telecommunications. And I said, you need to find a job because I'm going to go be a speaker. And she said, you don't know what it takes to be a speaker. And I go, no. But I've written a lot of sales training material for the Bell system over the years, and I can sell this sales training material. And besides, all. All I've ever wanted in my whole life was an audience. So I got the Yellow Pages out, and I started the DA's in the yellow Pages in Tulsa, Oklahoma. And I called every company and I said, do you have anybody that sells at your company? I didn't care what kind of company was dry cleaners, whatever. They had one person, I wanted to train them and I would teach them how to sell. And I started doing that and found out I was pretty good at it and built a sales training company and was doing a lot of speaking around the topic of sales. Then I found out that they pay you more to make people laugh than they do to teach people how to sell. So. And people thought I was funny. Right.

So you actually. You're semi funny.

Yeah. Pay me enough, I get real funny. And so I started doing humorous talks, and I was sort of a motivational humorist talk.

Did you have. Have this whole get up? Did you wear.

No, no, no. I wore suits. I didn't have earrings or any of this stuff. I wore suits. I look like you're supposed to in corporate America. And about 10 years into that, I was doing really well in the motivational speaking, happy, feel good crap that everybody talks about.

So you actually did do that in the beginning?

Oh, you bet. You bet. If Zig could say it, I could say it better, you know? Really? And that's the way a lot of people get started, you know, they're just out there saying what everybody else wants them to say. And everybody wants that message of, make me feel good about myself and I'll be okay. They love that message. And it just flew in the face of everything I truly believed. I had a meltdown, a typical midlife crisis thing. And I.

At what age?

45.

Okay, wow.

And just everything fell apart. Me. And I went to my wife and said, I don't like you anymore, and went to my manager and said, I don't like you anymore. And I hated my audiences and I hated every word that came out of my mouth. And I just threw it all away. I said, I'm getting in a car and don't call me. I'll call you. So I drove from Oklahoma to Sedona, Arizona. And I got a big bottle of good scotch and a box of cigars and some good music and a stack of books. And I just. And I was watching TV one night. There's a lot of story here, but no, it's good.

This is very interesting.

I was watching TV one night and I watched an interview with Dennis Miller. And they were talking to Miller about his career and. And he said he used to go on stage like all other comedians. Comedians go on stage to endear themselves to the audience so the audience will like them. Because if the audience likes you, the audience will laugh at you, he said. The problem was I realized I'm not very endearing. So I gave it up. And when I gave it up, that's when my career really took off. And when I heard him say that, just this light went off in my head. Changed my life that quick. And I said, I'm not very endearing either. I think I'm gonna give it up. And I did. And I called my wife and said, we'll be okay if you'll still have me. I called my manager and I said, the business will be okay, but it's gonna be different. I don't know how it's gonna be different, but it's going to be different. And I just decided that I would never be inauthentic again. I threw away the suits when I was a little bitty boy. I used to watch Porter Wagner with my grandma on Saturday afternoons. And Porter Wagner was the original king of bling. I said, if I ever get rich, I'm gonna dress like Porter Wagner. And I realized I was. So I did. So I started dressing like Porter Wagner. And I put my earrings back in because I used to take them off before I went on stuff stage.

So you always had this. You just were. You're basically wearing a costume.

Yeah, this is the real Larry. The other stuff was a costume. And so I went on stage the next time a couple of weeks later, and a guy heckled me, and I turned on him and said, you know, you need to shut up, stop whining, and get a life. And the audience jumped to their feet at that moment, a standing ovation. I went, that is a good line. I think I will keep that. Shut up. Stop whining. Good life. And so I started telling that story in my speeches, and people really responded. And so I just built this whole speech and philosophy around this. Shut up. Stop wine, get a life. I kept telling people I was going to Write a book called that. But until then, I had T shirts and I had Shut Up, Stop Wine, Get a Life T shirts. Then I printed them upside down so you could just look down and read it yourself. And sold hundreds of thousands of T shirts and did real well. And then I wrote the book and I had self published 25 books. But a buddy of mine said, you could get this one published. And I said, I don't care. I got a big audience buying self published. Back of the room. He said, yeah, but they'll be in bookstores. And I said, that is appealing to me. My ego got in the way and so I sold Shut up, Stop playing Get a Life this book for just damn near no money. And the first week it came out, it went to number one on the bestseller list. And when it was to number one on the best seller list, that's when the agents all started calling saying, who the hell are you? I said, in your world, I'm not a big deal. In my world, I am a big deal. And that's when they signed and they started getting me more books and all that stuff. And that's when A and E happened to be looking for a host for a TV show. I had a number one best seller with a sort of a different cover and a contrarian view. And so they looked at Men Hired. Men hired. There you go.

Yep, that's it. So going back to when you were watching Dennis Miller.

Yep.

You were obviously ready to hear that sort of message because you were just in a totally fucked up state.

Yeah.

You know, pissed off.

So to answer your question, yeah, my life was a mess.

Does it usually have to get there? You mean you always hear the thing.

Yeah. About the problem is we allow people to sort of hit the bottom and way too comfortable away. And then while they're at the bottom, the whole self help movement again will meet them there and help them wallow in it. And so we don't want you to be too painful down there. So we'll come down there and hug you and we'll hold hands and sing Kumbaya and it'll all be okay. And I think that's exactly the wrong thing to do for people. I think you should say you hit the bottom for a reason. What were those reasons? And no matter what they come up with, it comes down to you made bad decisions. This is your fault. I can sum up everything I do in one sentence. Life's your own damn fault. Your thoughts, your words, your actions created the life you're living. If it's A great life. You caused that. That's your fault. And if your life sucks, it's because you suck. You made stupid decisions. Recognize them, take responsibility for them, take action to fix it. And so I want failure to hurt. We don't allow it to hurt enough in our society. We're too quick to bail people out. We're too quick to come to the rescue. We do it with our kids, we do it with society in general. We do it with people who buy houses they can't afford. We do it with all kinds of people who make bad decisions. We should let it be painful because if it hurts enough, you'll go, I don't think I want to do that again.

Well, that sounds a little insensitive to some people.

Absolutely.

Now here's I want to. And some of these I'll just ask as double advocate questions because I've read in your books and stuff and so I sort of know how you feel about it. Who deserves a certain levels of compassion and coddling, if anyone?

People who can't come to their own rescue. There are people who, who cannot come to their own risk.

No, I mean, I don't know if you'd ever admit it, but I actually find you to have lots of areas where I think you're incredibly caring, compassionate. I mean, elderly people, people that have injuries, people that were born with mental.

Disabilities, all that stuff. A friend of mine said recently while we were having dinner, he said, you don't really care anything about taking care of people. I said, no, I don't. I care about teaching people to take care of themselves. I think that's a much more, again, empowering message. I want to teach people to take care of themselves, but there are people who really can't. More people can than think they can't, but there are people who genuinely.

I think that's a fundamental problem. And one of the things I think you address better than anyone is that, you know, you're not giving people outs when they, you know. So if they have the ability to make an excuse, you're just not going to tolerate it. You're not going to listen to it, you're going to call them on it. Okay. I hope you found that video awesome and useful. So if you want to get a free copy of my book, I want you to click here. And if you want to watch some more videos that will be useful and awesome, click here. Go ahead, you're over here. Do it now.

Come on.

Thank you. Watch them.