Winning With Words: The Hidden Power of Language Will Transform Your Life ft. Michael Bernoff

Alright, everyone, let's get ready to win with words. We all use words every day, whether with clients, colleagues, or ourselves. But here's the real question. Are your words working for you? Are they helping you win? A small shift in how you speak can make a huge impact on your life and business. Today's speaker is a master at this. He takes everyday language and transforms it into something powerful, persuasive and unstoppable. He'll show you how the right words can boost your influence, deepen your connections, and help you win big. Michael Bernoff isn't just a communication expert, he's like a magician with language. As the founder of the Human Communications Institute, he's taught entrepreneurs, including many in our own genius network, how to use language to influence others, and more importantly, themselves. Because, let's face it, the biggest obstacle to success is often the voice inside your own head. Today, Michael is going to show you how to communicate in a way that speaks directly to the inner child in others, the part of them that dreams big, craves connections and seeks to be understood. Especially in sales, this is a game changer. You'll learn how to tap into the hidden part of people with your words. How to respond to their needs in a way that creates a connection, and how to get them to respond positively to you.

So buckle up.

Whether you're selling to others, going after your next big goal, or strengthening relationships, you're about to discover how shifting your words can unlock deeper trust, making it easier to open doors, build lasting relationships, and inspire action. Please join in welcoming the man who can teach you how to win the game of words, the one and only Michael Bernoff.

I appreciate that, Joe.

Thank you, sir.

That's a laundry list. And we gotta move quick in the next 10 minutes or so to do this. And the biggest reason I wanted to have the lights on for everybody today is this is gonna be interactive, what we're about to do, so look with me, but also I want you to pay attention inside of yourself what it is that you feel that I'm going to share with you. So the coolest part about this is it's a pickup from a presentation that I did about a year ago. And about a year ago I shared that there are rooms just like this and everybody understands this wholeheartedly. We talk it a lot. There's rooms just like this that major corporations get very, very intelligent people like us in, and they sit down and they go, how do we win? What it is we're about to do? These are companies like Meta, Fox, NBC, cnn, and they're thinking, these are people that are on the other side of these keyboards. There's people out there. How do we get across to them, and how do we get them to respond the way we'd like them to respond? So my outcome for the next, let's just say 9 minutes and 13 seconds is to make single one of you walks out of here with three to four things that you can do to start winning more in what it is that you're doing. So we had an opportunity yesterday to hear about words, and we talked about the power of how words work. Yet I also want to tell you, most of us have no idea of who we're actually talking with and what our objective is to work with. So let me ask you this. How many of you would love to be better with the people in your life? How many of you would love to be better? How many of you would love your team to be less annoying? How many of you would love your kids to need you less and do things on their own? How many of you like that? Okay, so a lot of what I'm about to share is going to assist you with. So from this moment forward, a lot of us, we look at people and I know we see it here in this room. And tell me if you've experienced this before. You see someone do something incredibly well. We talked about the Olympics yesterday. How many of you watched something before and go, how the hell do they do that? How many of you have said that? Or that is amazing, or that would be just. That is incredible. How many of you have said that before? Like, dude, that marketing is incredible. How many of you understand that? And what we do is in that moment, we say this, and this is where we screw up events like this. We look at Joe and go, how does he do it? How does he put such great people in this room? And I gotta tell you, in those words, you are limiting your ability to get what it is you want. I'm gonna share with you a rephrase today that you will begin to say and train your team to say. So instead of saying, how do they do it? The real question is, how do I do that? I want you to think about that for a second. All of us are studying, how do we market to others? How do we win? How do we win? How do we win? And I'm gonna throw three words at you, which Joel will love that I'm gonna say, because it's the part of the conversation most of us in life want to win. And the biggest reason we want to win is we were never given an additional option. So I'm going to draw this out for you so all of you can see it. Most children are winning in life. So when you're dealing with somebody, all we are seeing in a 65 year old man, a 35 year old woman, Whoever it is we're dealing with, doesn't matter who they are. All we're seeing is a little kid that now has big people clothes on. The reason they want to win so bad is they were seven years old at one point and their life was working and they were winning in life and things were good. And one day mommy and daddy did something like this. Packed a tuna fish sandwich for them for lunch. How many of you ever had that happen? And if you haven't, it's just me, okay? And what happens is you look out there or maybe you went up to like wiffle ball or something like I can't hit the frickin ball. They went from like putting it on the thing to hitting the ball. And immediately you said to yourself, I was doing good, but what's going on? Like I'm not sure what's happening. And we're like, I wish it didn't work this way. And in that moment, the inner child built something called the inner hero inside. That said, if I could ever be in that situation again, here's how I would do something different next time. Now I want you to pay attention to that. Because as we're marketing, selling and talking, every single one of us to ourselves and others has an inner child and an inner hero that lives inside of every single one of us. I'm going to show you how to stimulate it. And I'm also going to tell you, most of you have been screwing up the people in your lives because the way that you actually talk with them. Give you an example real quick. Brian yesterday said something, man, I got in this room and I said to myself, you know, I don't feel like I don't belong. And amazingly we think we're being so sweet and we say, no, no, you belong and you're great and you're awesome. And we stimulate their inner child and we say, you're gonna be okay and everything's gonna be good and that's gonna be fine. And we think we're giving them what they want, validation. How many of you realize validation alone does not make people stronger or better? Validation alone is a freaking bandaid on a gunshot wound. How many of you understand that? And why I'm saying that is we think we're being parents. So if someone said that to me, I feel like I don't belong. I've got two things that all of you can use to actually make someone instantly become a hero. And you're going to want to write these things down because I believe they'll be able to help you. Now, you could say this. I would say, up till now, Brian, it might not have felt that you or someone belonged. And the reason I use the words up till now is those of you that understand neuroscience. It creates a timeline inside someone's mind. So when someone says, I'm not good at tennis, let's stop right there. Up till what, folks? That means you say, I'm not good at it, you're fucked for the rest of your life. And yes, I curse. Joel. Now, the point is, you're not going to win. But if you say up till now, instantaneously, the brain goes, got it? That is an opportunity that I can get what, folks? Better. Second thing is, this is powerful. I shared this the other day.

Hey, I hope you're enjoying this video. And I want to let you know that I have a new book that's come out, and if you'd like to get it absolutely free, there's a link below in the description. Or you can wait till the end of this video, or you can Simply go to joesfreebook.com and you can get a copy there.

Most of us need our inner child pet and told that's okay, so we can stimulate the inner hero. So what I do with these people is when someone says, I don't know if I did a good job or not, I'll tell you did a good job. Of course you did a good job. I just said it. You didn't need to hear that. Did you guys hear what I just said? You didn't need to hear it. But what's more important is how do we feel more confident more often? So why I'm bringing this up is our natural tendency with people is to want to make them feel good versus empower them. So imagine we have the ability to empower somebody. Like, we teach this at one of my events. Because people years ago, michael, what do you do? And years ago, I would have said, I'm a coach, I'm a speaker, I'm a trainer. I'm a guy obsessed with how language empowers other people and gets people to do the things that they want to do in their lives and allow them to win at the things that they're doing. So I'll give you an analogy that'll be able to assist all of you. Who here has ever had anybody say to them, man, I just closed a big deal, and it was awesome. I just did 10 million. Like, a lot of you are meeting people and you're like, I did 15 million last year. I did 8 million. I did 10 million. What is our typical response to somebody when they tell us they did something great? What do we usually say? Great, congratulations. And we pet their inner child, and we're like, it's okay, and good job, and that's great, and that's wonderful. What if you were to say this to them instead of saying to them, good job, or, hey, that's great, or that's awesome, or even I'm proud of you. What if you were to say, of course you did, because that's what someone like you does. See, most of us were waiting when we were a kid to realize we're capable of more. But a lot of us, we're talking with people, and we're actually helping them win. Now, when you think about the word win for a second, I'm gonna throw a word at you. Do people really want to win? Maybe they do, maybe they don't. But the reason we want to win is we think winning is gonna be like, if I win, I'm gonna do better than what it was that I was doing. Or you look at yourself and go, man, I won. Like, you'll watch somebody that wins the Super Bowl. They win something, and they're proud of what it is they did, and they're super. This is great. I won't. But at the end of the day, we want people to feel what it's like to be winning in life. See, winning is something very different than to have won. So when somebody does a great job, instead of telling them, hey, you know, great job. You're awesome. You're great. I want to make you feel good. What I want to do is stimulate that part of you, like, of course I did something like that. I'm not shocked by what happened. So I'll give you the words one more time, and it's very, very simple. So you can write it down and tattoo it permanently inside of your brain. Somebody says they did something great instantaneously, you're going to say, of course you did. That's what someone like you does. I even watched as we were doing this exercise a minute ago. And again, I put the talk together here. And the reason I do the way I do it is because I wanted to make sure it's relevant to what's going on the next time you come back to genius. A lot of times we're going to do these hot seats. Typically Joe will say what's our problem that we have? And we walk into this and we tell everyone we have a problem. And what's amazing is when you walk up to your teammates and you say to them, man, I got a problem, I got something wrong. I love all of you but I don't want to hear about your frickin problem. How many of you understand that you don't. And if you do, it's you're stimulating the part of me that wants to fix what it is that we're doing. But imagine you walked up to the group and said here's something I'm very excited about solving. How many of you take all the pressure off? Think about that. Imagine training your team. Here's something that I'm excited about solving. So when we look at people, we've got to ask ourselves what is our definition of winning in? My definition of winning is not to actually make somebody feel good. It's to actually leave people better than the way that I found them. So my challenge for you is one thing, who's going to be communicating with people? Your inner child that wants to walk around the world healing and helping people? Or is it the people that really want to leave people better than how you found them? So the question you're going to ask is do I want to give them a win? Do you want to feel like they won or do we want them to feel like they're winning? Because I challenge you to know that when you get around people and they say to you, man, I love being around John, I love being around Brian. Because every time I get around them I feel like I'm winning in life. And the reason I bring that up to all of you today is when you look at folks and you look them in the eyes, I want you to realize you see a little kid. Our job is to a quickly heal if we need or be a hero maker. And I'm telling you, if you become a hero maker for people and you get people to believe that they could become their own hero in life, their own hero of what's possible. We do that with our words and we don't tell them you're great or you did a good job, we let them to know winning is possible. And the fastest way to do that is to let them know, I see what you're capable of. So when somebody corrects our language or shifts what it is that we do, that's when the winning begins. I'll leave it at that. Four seconds short. Thank you, everyone. Appreciate it.

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