Your Path to Positive Change Starts Here: Watch It Now! Feat. Gabor Mate

And then I'm gonna come to add, because I definitely. We cannot have this interview without talking about that because there's so many people here that identify with distractibility. So how does one change the atmospheric conditions of their life in a positive way? Because we. You know, there's a lot of people running the world right now that are creating the worst shit storms on the planet. And so I just wanted to get your perspective on that.

Yeah. So the first thing is to recognize that that is a problem. Now. A lot of people don't recognize it. They keep trying to run away from it. And one way to run away from recognizing that there's a problem is that you become addicted. So, for example, we did this the first time you spoke. But let me do it with this audience. Okay. I'll give you a definition of addiction that I don't think is controversial. So, an addiction is manifested in any behavior in which a person finds temporary relief or pleasure, and therefore craves, but then suffers negative consequences and they have difficulty giving it up despite the harm. So it's pleasure, relief, therefore, craving, short term, long term, harm, inability to give up. That's what addiction is. I said innate behavior. I didn't say drugs. It could include drugs. Of course it does. Cocaine, heroin, crystal meth, nicotine, caffeine, alcohol. But it could also be gambling, the Internet, pornography, sex, relationship, work. And in this culture, workaholism is rewarded like my workaholism was rewarded. Shopping, any range of human behaviors. The issue is not the activity, and it's the internal relationship. Pleasure, craving, relief, harm, inability to give it up. So I'm going to ask you guys a question here. If, according to that definition, you recognize that sometime or another you had some kind of an addictive pattern in your life, just raise your hand. Okay. Again, it's virtually everybody here. Now, the next question I ask is not what's wrong with the addiction, which we know, but what's right about it. What does it give you in the short term? In the short term, what does it give you that you like? Okay, I wonder if a couple of people just raised their hand and then shout out their answer. Okay, what does it give you in the short term? Or what did it give you? I'm not going to ask you what you're addicted to or how long or when. Just what. What did you. When you were in it temporarily? What does it give you? Anybody?

Serenity.

Serenity. Okay. Thank you.

Feels good.

So a good feeling. Pleasure. Yeah.

Dopamine.

Hit, of course, which means excitement. Yeah. Stimulant.

Stimulant, Escape?

Escape. Thank you. No. Escape from what? Escape from distress? Escape from emotional pain? Serenity, A sense of aliveness? Escape from pain. Are these good things or are they bad things in themselves? The good things, they're the things we all want. They're the things we all deserve. Actually, they're all the things we should have had as children. Which means that the addiction wasn't your primary problem. Your addiction was an attempt to solve the problem. Therefore, to talk about addiction either as an inherited disease or some kind of a choice that people make. And by the way, there are millions of people in jail in this country because of this social belief that addiction is some kind of a choice for which people should be punished. No, it ain't. It's an attempt to deal with life problems such as emotional pain. And so if you want to understand addiction, you have to look at the atmosphere again, as Don woods says, that people grew up under and what they're trying to escape from. So first, we have to recognize that there's a problem and not run away from it. Secondly, we have to accept compassionately all parts of ourselves, all aspects of ourselves, whether we like them or not. Because all aspects of ourselves, we. Whether we like them or not, they came along for a reason. And if we ask the question compassionately, you might do something that you're not proud of. If you ask yourself the question compassionately, why did I do that? What need was it serving? What was my organism trying to deal with? You'll find the answer if you ask the question. So you can ask the question two ways. Why did I do that? Or why did you do that? Do you think there's going to be an answer? No, because that's not a question. That's an accusation against somebody else or against the self. And as one of my spiritual teachers says, only when compassion is present. Only when will people love themselves to see the truth. Now, if you ask somebody else, not why did you do that, but I know you're a good person trying to do your best. Any idea why you did that? Now, that's the question. And the same with yourself. If you put to yourself, no, why did I do this? But I wonder why I did this. That's what a compassionate inquiry is. And my belief is that the answers are within all of ourselves. They actually are. And if we are compassionate with each other, which is so much of what you talk about. And if we're compassionate with ourselves, then the answers will emerge. So that's the beginning, is to recognize as a problem and to be compassionate about examining the sources of that problem.

So in your law career, how much of your your time was spent in a state of, I don't know if you call it liking the business, being in flow, being connected, or was it just a very difficult, challenging career the entire time?

Well, I was enthusiastic when it started because I grew up in Queens, New York, in a small apartment. My brother and I shared a tiny little room. So I didn't learn anything about money or financial literacy or business or entrepreneurship. So met my wife in college, decided we were going to get married and have a bunch of kids. And I'm a teacher. I was a junior high school English teacher for a couple years in New York City. And I was working that job and I think two or three other jobs. I was waitering and I was a lifeguard, you know, just to pay bills that were, you know, small, not even big bills. And I knew I had to change something. So I went back to school and three years later got a law degree and was working my way through that whole process. And I primarily did it because it seemed like the thing to do. And now I've come to understand at this point in my life that a lot of people take that job or pursue a certain direction in their life because it seems like the next best thing to do, especially when it comes to maybe making some money and getting on your feet and all that kind of thing. And I went down that road and liked that Pink Floyd song, money. 10 years gets behind you. No one tells you when to run. You miss the starting gun. And that's what it was like for me. I got into my middle 30s and I realized that I had started to lose my hair.

I woke up, I didn't shave my head. No, I'm kidding me.

I'll own it. I just shaved my head because I can't grow hair anymore.

I put my feet on the floor.

In the morning, and I would feel to start every new day. It was dark out. I'm going to leave the house before the kids would even get up and not see them for breakfast or anything and take them to school. And the first thoughts I had when I put my feet on the floor, like, anxious thoughts, thoughts that were like anxiety and fear, anger even, and dread. And that's how I start my day. And that went on for years. So this slow torture, this, you know, water, like a Chinese water torture, day after day after day, leading a life that was less than I knew it could be. And so that mediocrity became, you know, was just in my body, was in my energy, and at a certain point I was in enough pain and literally was in pain that I had to make a change. So yeah, that was sort of what led to my moment of my pivotal moment, if you will.

Yeah, well, and that's interesting because Tado, your book is called Pivot. Do you believe that most people need to get to such a place of pain before they'll shift? Or is there a way to, you know. Because I work in a lot of the world of addiction and you'll hear a lot of people say you have to hit bottom. And I believe there are ways you can bring the bottom up so you don't have to have it be so frickin agonizing. That's a great way of horrible in your particular case. So most people, if they're, they're complacent, if things are kind of working, if things are good, you know, it's either most people are operating out of intense inspiration or massive desperation. So, you know, how do you think that applies to most people? Because you're certainly with Peaks, you guys are working with all levels of people at different stages in their life.

We do, and we really stir people up at all different areas of their life. But the reason is that status quo leads to mediocrity. And mediocrity is an epidemic in our world. And I think that's the reason why so many years ago it was Henry David Thoreau that said everywhere people lead lives of quiet desperation. And I think that quiet desperation is really what's got the greater chokehold on our world. Yes, there are all the stuff that comes outside the building bell curve of people that really fall on hard times. And when you brought to your knees, you know, you find spirit, you can find recovery, you can find support, you can find all the things that help us to be more connected to who we are, you know, who our true selves are. I don't think, as you said, that it needs to get there. And at the same time, I speak to audiences all the time and I kind of call them on their shit in a pretty, you know, direct and intense way. After of course, asking for permission to do that.

Right.

But the fact of the matter is, and I say sometimes to people, do I need to put my foot on your neck? Do you really need to be in that much pain? Do I have to call you out for all the places where you're out of integrity before you'll take some action to change something? Or do you want to lose another 10 years, because you blink your eyes, it's a year, right? You blink again, it's five, you blink there and it's 10. And you go, man, how much time do I want to actually let go by before I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing on this? Feel good about it.

You're a pretty interesting guy. You've written five New York Times bestsellers. Your newest one, which will be time, we're doing this interview. This is your brand new book called Grow a pair. How to stop being a victim and take back your life, your business and your sanity. But you're known. We're going to talk a lot about the content here. And at the time that we're doing this, I'm only halfway through the book, but I think it's really awesome. And I love your books, I love your videos online, you met on tv. You are contrarian. You say it like it is. I tend to agree with almost everything that you say. You've got big cojones. You'll describe that this is not just a male thing, this is a male and female thing. But what do you really do? I mean, what's your deal? You've written all these books. Like your first one is shut up, stop whining and get a life and we'll talk about other stuff. But who is Larry Wingate?

I wake up every single morning figuring out how many people I can piss off by taking.

Do you get joy out of this or just.

I do. It delights me like none other. No, see, I think that people should be challenged. And if I have a role on this planet, it would be to challenge people's thinking. So I say things that will piss them off, make them think, make them look at what they believe, make them look at all the crap that they're hearing out there from all the motivational bozos and all those happy smiley faced people and say that really. Right. And the way you know whether it's right or not is whether it works or not. Yeah. And if it's working for you, good. Believe it, go with it. But if it's not, stop believing it and start believing something new. And so I try to challenge people into thinking that's really my role. I do that. I speak. I've been speaking professionally for over 20 years. I've done 400 of the Fortune 500 companies. It's hard to believe that companies hire me and pay me a whole lot of money and go on stage.

Do they keep having you come back?

Yeah, they do. Which also surprises me not Like I've been unclear the first time. I think they should have gotten it. But they bring me back and I yell at them and say, you people are idiots. Your service sucks. You need to get off your ass and work harder. The reason you're not doing well is nobody's working around here. So I go on stage and say all that stuff. And they love it. I also discover you can say about anything in the world to people as long as you make them laugh and anything. If you're funny, they'll get you by with it, let you buy with it.

I've always loved the line. Enthusiasm covers many deficiencies, but it's how you do it.

It's a how you approach it.

Hey, I hope you're enjoying this video. And I want to let you know that I have a new book that's come out and if you'd like to get it absolutely free, there's a link below in the description. Or you can wait till the end of this video or you can Simply go to joesfreebook.com and you can get a copy there.

Yeah, so I speak, I write books. I'm on television a lot, work with lots of different television networks.

Talk about some of that, because some people, you know, a lot of times when I'll be out with you, like, where have I seen this guy before? But they can't pin where they saw.

I'm easy to spot in the crowd, first of all.

Well, of course.

I mean, you sort of look like.

This all the time. We're going to talk about your attire too.

Yeah.

Do you like my get up here?

I mean, it's. It's very safe. It's very safe.

Well, I was. I brought some props. I was going to see if you wanted. It's brand new, too. Look at this.

I could tell it still has the tag. You might want to keep that hidden. I've been on television. I had my own show on AE for a few years called Big Spender, where I would go in and sort of interrupt people in the middle of their stupidity. People who had wrecked their lives financially. And I would go in and point that out to them. Really, it was a television show about an angry bald man yelling at stupid people until I made them cry like a baby. And it was great.

Did it change their lives, though?

No, but it changed a lot of people's lives who watched. Okay. I don't think people really change their lives that much during the show. It's hard to turn somebody's life around when they're really, really in love with their lifestyle. You see, I think people change when they want to, not when you want them to. And so I don't really ever try to change anybody's life. I just point out that it would be very smart for them to want to do that all on their own. They don't want to. I don't care. I'm one of those motivational guys that will go on stage and say, I don't care whether you do anything or not. Your life can suck. And I don't care. I'm good with it. What you do in your life has no effect on me. So I don't care what you do. And I have all my buddies in the industry say, you shouldn't tell people you don't care. I don't. It's not, I care about my life. I don't care. I don't give a damn what you do. I don't give a damn what anybody in my audience does. Not my deal.

Right?

Go fix your life if you want to. If you like it the way it is. You like being broke, fat, stupid, lazy, I don't care. No impact on me.

So what, what is your. What is your primary motive? Like motivation? Because you're called a motivational speaker. I don't know if you refer to yourself.

No, no, no. In fact, I license that I am trademark that I'm the world's only irritational speaker. See, I don't think you can motivate somebody from where they are to a better place. I'll guarantee you I can make you so irritated with where you are you'll do anything to go to a better place.

Do you think that's a far better process?

Much better. You see, I don't think you can paint this pretty picture. You need to go over there. It's wonderful over there. I think you can say, are you kidding me? Your life sucks. You deserve better than this. Let me prove to you what an idiot you've been. So what I do through all of my work is just try to hold a mirror up to people so they can see how dumb they've been and then show them that they have the power to do whatever they want to do when they decide to fix it. But it's up to them, not up to me. When I get those letters that say, larry, you changed my life, I write them back instantly and say, no, I didn't. I just reminded you that you could change your life.

That's great. That's great. Well, you know, when I was, you know, we all have Our own stories, however we want to convey them in the business world. When I went into what I do now, which is, you know, marketing and teaching people marketing, you know, I read so many books, I mean, you know, think and Grow Rich, all the old ones and new ones. And I've read over a thousand books, most of them business related and a lot of self help, a lot of personal development. And I've always had a love hate relationship with it because early on I learned that the best positive attitude in the world is no better than the worst attitude in the world in relation to making money. It wasn't until I actually had a system on knowing how to take a skill and persuade people to give me money and do business with me that how I felt about things had nothing to do with it. Now having a good attitude, of course you're going to approach things differently. But the fact is, you know, I mean you can, you can run around and think positive thoughts all day long or you can get motivation, but if you don't direct it into somewhat something that's going to produce a result, it's usually just completely ineffective.

I'm not a big believer in a positive attitude.

Well, I'm not either.

I'm a much bigger believer in having a negative attitude. I think you have to get negative about your life before you're willing to take positive action in your life. And so what I like for people to do is to get really negative. When I was shooting the television show, if I couldn't make people cry, tie some emotion to their stupidity, then I knew I hadn't done my job. I want people to cry. I want them to go to the mirror, look themselves in the eye and look up to the heavens and cry like Jimmy Swaggart. Really I want them to, I want them to have that Jimmy Swaggart moment where tears run down their face and they say, oh God, I'm an idiot. When you do that, then you might have a shot at turning things around. But first you have to stop and assess, get negative and then take positive action to create positive results. You don't happy your way to success, you don't think your way to success, you bust your ass and work your way to success.

Okay, so what are your thoughts on the personal development self help industry in general? And I will say this, I'll preface this, that I have taken a lot out of it. Okay? I've learned a lot from a lot of people. And as you know, I know a bazillion people in the self help world and half of them? Well, I wouldn't say half, probably a lot more completely and utterly full of shit. But there's a lot of people that are incredibly smart and really, really helpful and at the same time, you know, I learned early on that if you ever invalidate the message because of the messenger, you'll never read another book or attend another seminar because there's a lot of people out there dispensing advice that, that they themselves do not follow. So what's your take on it? I mean, you like it, you dislike it.

Unlike you, I came from the self help industry and I've like. You read a lot of books in the last 20 years I read over 4,000 books that cover thousands of years of information. Read all the time. Most of my friends come from the self help personal development industry. I was truly a self help junkie. And I think when your life is a mess and you're broke and all that sort of stuff and you go, shit, I need help, you become a junkie. And just like you said, you read everything you can get your hands on, you quickly figure out that most of it is full of shit because it's not working. Especially you can read all these guys stuff and you say if you believed it and it worked, you'd be better off than you are. And most of them are not really very well off. But my problem with the whole movement was that I think, and I talk about this a lot and grow up here, is that the, the message got bastardized along the way. It was originally, the original intent was to empower people that you have. You know, Zig Ziglar said you can be whatever you want to be, do whatever you want to do, have whatever you want to have, as long as you believe in yourself. That's a message of empowerment in my opinion. If you believe you can go accomplish whatever you want based on your level of belief and confidence and so forth, we turned that whole message into a message of entitlement. And so we move from empowerment to entitlement. That's what happened along the way. Self help went from self to help. And so everybody stepped back and say, well, help me, I deserve it. Do nice things for me because look, I'm special and I'm wonderful and I believe in myself. Instead, what they should have said was, I have the confidence in my own abilities to get off my ass and go make anything in the world I want to happen happen if I'm willing to work hard enough to make it happen.

Yeah, okay. So was your life sort of a wreck when you first started doing this like a lot of people that I've learned in there, you know, if you want to look at what someone's interested, what the hell do they write about? And I've also learned that sometimes the best messengers of something are also people that suffer the most pain from it. So if someone's going to talk about, you know, how to raise your self esteem, there's a good chance that this person has terrible self esteem and has done enormous research. So much so that they want to start writing about it or making a career out of it. Some of the people that I've met that are really skilled at writing about time management, they actually suck at managing real time. But they're really, you know, they're really aware of that condition. So they can articulate it, they can talk about it, they can write about it. So what was going on in your life that caused you to go into this stuff and start doing this? Was this kind of like Larry's version of being a convert of his own system or what?

In a way. I grew up dirt poor. And a kid made fun of me when I was 13 years old for being dirt poor in front of a bunch of little girls in the eighth grade. And it just humiliated me. And I made a decision at that very moment. I was going to get rich. Didn't know what rich looked like. I had no role models for rich. Didn't know what it took, but I just made a decision. I was going to get rich because no one was ever going to make fun of me for being broke again. So I made that decision at that time in my life, at 13, the only thing I knew I ever had going for me was I could work harder than everybody else. I wasn't smarter than everybody. I wasn't better or bigger or badder or meaner or any of those things. I could just outwork you, no matter what. I could outwork you. I could come in earlier, I could stay longer, whatever it took. And that's what I did. And no matter what job I ever had, I worked harder than everybody else. And I did real well. I went to work for the phone company when I was in college. I was a telephone operator. When I left 12 years later, I was the area sales manager for AT&T. And so I worked hard to make all that happen. And when I left at the end of the day, during divestiture of the Bell system, I started my own telecommunications company, went out again, just did really well because I could outwork everybody. Built it from just me and Found a part time installer until soon. We had offices all over Oklahoma and Kansas and we're doing great. And then the corporation commission ruled that what I did was illegal. So I went into work one morning and a rich guy and I went home that day and my company was gone. So I went from, you know, wretched to bankrupt that quick lost everything. And so I turned to my wife and she worked there too because she came out of telecommunications. And I said, you need to find a job because I'm going to go be a speaker. And she said, you don't know what it takes to be a speaker. And I go, no. But I've written a lot of sales training material for the Bell system over the years and I can sell this sales training material. And besides, all I've ever wanted my whole life was an audience. So I got the Yellow pages out and I started the DA's in the yellow Pages in Tulsa, Oklahoma. And I called every company and I said, do you have anybody that sells at your company? I didn't care what kind of company it was, dry cleaners, whatever. They had one person, I wanted to train them and I would teach them how to sell. And I started doing that and found out I was pretty good at it and built a sales training company and was doing a lot of speaking around the topic of sales. Then I found out that they pay you more to make people laugh than they do to teach people how to sell, so. And people thought I was funny, right?

Actually, you're semi funny.

Yeah. Pay me enough, I get real funny. And so I started doing humorous talks and I was sort of a motivational humorist.

Did you have this whole get up? Did you wear.

No, no, no, I wore suits. I didn't have earrings or any of this stuff. I wore suits. I look like you're supposed to in corporate America. And about 10 years into that, I was doing really well in the motivational speaking happy, feel good crap that everybody talks about.

So you actually did do that in the beginning?

Oh, you bet, you bet. If Zig could say it, I could say it better, you know.

Really?

And that's the way a lot of people get started, you know, they're just out there saying what everybody else wants them to say. And everybody wants that message. Make me feel good about myself and I'll be okay. They loved that message and it just flew in the face of everything. I truly believe I had a meltdown, a typical midlife crisis thing. And I.

At what age?

45. And just everything fell apart for me and I Went to my wife and said, I don't like you anymore. Went to my manager and said, I don't like you anymore. And I hated my audiences, and I hated every word that came out of my mouth. And I just threw it all away. I said, I'm getting in a car, and don't call me, I'll call you. So I drove from Oklahoma to Sedona, Arizona. And I got a big bottle of good scotch and a box of cigars and some good music and a stack of books. And I just sat and I was watching TV one night. There's a lot of story here, but no, it's back.

This is very interesting.

I was watching TV one night, and I watched an interview with Dennis Miller. And they were talking to Miller about his career. And he said he used to go on stage like all other comedians. Comedians go on stage to endear themselves to the audience so the audience will like them. Because if the audience likes you, the audience will laugh at you, he said. The problem was, I realized I'm not very endearing. So I gave it up. And when I gave it up, that's when my career really took off. And when I heard him say that, just this light went off in my head. Changed my life that quick. And I said, I'm not very endearing either. I think I'm gonna give it up. And I did. And I called my wife and said, we'll be okay if you'll still have me. I called my manager and I said, the business will be okay, but it's gonna be different. I don't know how it's gonna be different, but it's gonna be different. And I just decided that I would never be inauthentic again. I threw away the suits. When I was a little bitty boy, I used to watch Porter Wagner with my grandma on Saturday afternoons. And Porter Wagner was the original King of Bling. I said, if I ever get rich, I'm going to dress like Porter Wagner. And I realized I was. So I did. So I started dressing like Porter Wagner. And I put my earrings back in because I used to take them off before I went on stage.

So you always had this. You just were. You're basically wearing a costume.

Yeah, this is the real Larry. The other stuff was a costume. So I went on stage the next time a couple of weeks later, and a guy heckled me, and I turned on him and said, you know, you need to shut up, stop whining and get a life. And the audience jumped to their feet at that moment. In a Standing ovation. I went, that is a good line. I think I will keep that. Shut up, stop whining, and get a life. And so I started telling that story in my speeches and people really responded. And so I just built this whole speech and philosophy around this. Shut up, stop whine, get a lie. I kept telling people I was going to write a book called that, but until then I had T shirts and I had to shut up, stop whine, and get a life. T shirts. Then I printed them upside down so you could just look down and read it yourself. And sold hundreds of thousands of T shirts and did real well. And then I wrote the book and I had self published 25 books. But a buddy of mine said, you could get this one published. And I said, I don't care. I got a big audience buying self published. Back of the room. He said, yeah, but they'll be in bookstores. And I said, that is appealing to me. My ego got in the way and so I sold Shut up, stop whining, Get a life. This book for just damn near no money. And the first week it came out, it went to number one on the bestseller list. And when it went to number one on the best seller list, that's when the agents all started calling saying, who the hell are you? I said, in your world, I'm not a big deal. In my world, I am a big deal. And that's when they signed and they started getting me more books and all that stuff. And that's when A and E happened to be looking for a host for a TV show. I had a number one best seller with a sort of a different cover and a contrarian view. And so they looked at me and hired men. There you go.

Yep, that's it. So going back to when you were watching Dennis Miller, you were obviously ready to hear that sort of message because you were just in a totally fucked up state.

So to answer your question, yeah, my life was a mess.

Does it usually have to get there? You mean you always hear the thing about Higginbottom.

The problem is we allow people to sort of hit the bottom and way too comfortable away. And then while they're at the bottom, the whole self help movement again will meet them there and help them wallow in it. And so we don't want you to be too painful down there. So we'll come down there and hug you and we'll hold hands and sing Kumbaya and it'll all be okay. And I think that's exactly the wrong thing to do for People, I think you should say you hit the bottom for a reason. What were those reasons? And no matter what they come up with, it comes down to you made bad decisions. This is your fault. I can sum up everything I do in one sentence. Life's your own damn fault. Your thoughts, your words, your actions created the life you're living. If it's a great life, you caused that, that's your fault. And if your life sucks, it's because you suck. You made stupid decisions, recognize them, take responsibility for them, take action to fix it. And so I want failure to hurt. We don't allow it to hurt enough in our society. We're too quick to bail people out. We're too quick to come to the rescue. We do it with our kids, we do it with society in general. We do it with people who buy houses they can't afford. We do it with all kinds of people who make bad decisions. We should let it be painful because if it hurts enough, you'll go, I don't think I want to do that again.

Well, that sounds a little insensitive to some people.

Absolutely.

Now here's I want to. And some of these I'll just ask as double advocate questions because I've read in your books and stuff and so I sort of know how you feel about it. Who deserves a certain level of compassion and coddling, if anyone?

People who can't come to their own rescue. There are people who cannot come to their own risk.

No, I mean, I don't know if you'd ever admit it, but I actually find you to have lots of areas where I think you're incredibly caring, compassionate. I mean, elderly people, people that have injuries, people that were born with mental.

Disabilities, all that stuff. A friend of mine said recently while we were having dinner, he said, you don't really care anything about taking care of people. I said, no, I don't. I care about teaching people to take care of themselves. I think that's a much more, again, empowering message. I want to teach people to take care of themselves. But there are people who really can't. More people can than think they can't. But there are people who genuinely.

And I think that's, I think that's a fundamental problem. And one of the things I think you address better than anyone is that, you know, you're not giving people outs when they, you know, so if they have the ability to make an excuse, you're just not going to tolerate it. You're not going to listen to it. You're going to call Them on it. When it comes to criticism, what are the useful ways to use it and what are the non useful ways to use it? Because you have some interesting insights.

Well, I think the dumbest thing that was ever put together around the topic of criticism is the idea of constructive criticism. Construct means to build up. Criticize means to tear down. You cannot build up and tear down at the same time. So when someone says to me, I'd like to offer you some constructive criticism, I say, pick one. And they go, what? You can either build me up or you can tear me down. I'm a big boy, pick one and let's go for it. And they're always, you know, it's that whole idea of sandwiching criticism. We've all heard that. And every management class says, if you're going to say something bad to an employee, you say something really nice. And then you say your tough stuff and then you say something really nice. And what most of us call that is shit sandwich. And regardless of the kind of bread you package it in, it still comes out tasting like shit. If you want to say something to me, I'm a big boy, say it. And so I'm a big believer in criticism as long as it's valid, as long as it's been researched, and as long as you're willing to do it face to face with me, you can say whatever you want to.

Well, I mean, when someone says constructive criticism, what they're trying to say is they're not per se. Well, a lot of times it's disguise. It's a disguise way of trying to preface it so they can insult you and not make it look that way. I would look at someone that just wants to attack you and talk shit about you and take it personally versus someone that wants to per se, give you advice. But your whole thing in the book, grow up here, I mean, I don't know exactly where it is, but there's.

That's yours. Yours is yellow.

Yeah, I can see when I read books, I make notes and all that sort of stuff, and everyone should. I mean, what's. But the thing you say about criticism, you say our fragile little cells just can't stand to have anyone criticize us these days. Don't you dare tell me I'm not good at something. You might hurt my feelings. Well, to hell with your feelings. If you're a screw up, you need to hear that you're a screw up so you'll stop being one. If it hurts your feelings, good. Your feelings don't matter. When your Results suck. You need to get better. So stop whimpering and take your criticism. Criticism is how we grow. If you heard, great job every time you attempted something, you wouldn't improve much, would you? So accept the criticism, even welcome it, take it like a man, even if you're a woman. And then, you know, so that's good stuff.

Who wrote that?

It's very good stuff. So it is, it is a great way to have people, you know, that have the capacity. That's a big. You said something really interesting early on is that, you know, people frankly don't change that much. I mean, and you know, most people that I come across right now, 10 years from now, they're just going to be a 10 year older version of themselves. What I do though is I'm like a pessimistic optimist though when I look out into the world, most of my viewpoint, I can sum up most people with three words. Not very inspiring because there's a lot of people that could do a lot in the world and they just simply don't. However, there are those that kick ass and take names. There are those that make breakthroughs. There are people that fuel the world forward. And that's the people that, you know that are interesting to me. That's what is interesting in my. In order to change the stupid shit in myself that can, you know, so I'm always constantly improving. I mean, anyone that would sit and watch this right now, on some level, it's either just interesting and intriguing to watch some bald dude with a crazy outfit that has like a strong attitude, that's one thing. But I think most people that would listen to my stuff watch what it is that I do. They're seekers. I mean, they're trying to better themselves. So their intentions are to make their lives better, to get an edge. And so that's mine too. When I jump into the whole self improvement, personal development world, I'm simply trying to become a better version of myself. But there's all of these things that stand in the way and there's these erroneous beliefs. And what I think your greatest asset for people is, you're the guy that will point out shit and say things that no one else has the balls to say. And so let's cover a couple of things that you mentioned in the book Nation of Weenies. Okay, so we live in this world. And what's that? I can't remember who said that. Quote, the unreasonable man wants to adapt the world to himself. The reasonable man wants the world to adapt. And then the unreasonable man adapts the world to him. So therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man. I did not say that right at all. But the point is, you are in control of your world, not the world out there. So if the world is filled with a bunch of weenies, I mean, that's just going to be the way it is, right?

That is the way it is. I just don't choose to let them ruin my day. I don't choose to participate. It's just like. It's kind of like when you hear as you go into fall, that cold and flu season is upon us. And you can say, I choose to participate or I don't choose to participate. When they say cold and flu, flu season is here, some people go, oh, my God. And then they start to sniffle and they run to the drugstore and they start buying all that crap. And me, when I hear it's cold and flu season, I just say, not for me. So when I look at the world and I realize that the world is full of idiots who are, for the most part, broke and don't care about improving their situation, and for the most part, obese and for the most part, really doing a lot of stupid stuff, I can. I can let that get me down, or I can stay true to myself and do what I believe I need to do to make my world better. I would love to change the world. I would love for the world to be different. I think all of us would. Realistically, that's not going to happen. I can't change the world. Besides that, if the world changed, I'd be out of business. You'd be out of business. There'd be nobody left to buy our crap.

I love the fact that people suck at marketing because the fact that they suck at marketing allows me to make a pretty good living.

Exactly. And if everybody suddenly took responsibility for their lives and I paint in the front of this book this utopic world that said, wouldn't it be great if the world was like this? It's not going to be that way. So I can control my world. And the only thing that allows me to go to sleep at night and feel good about my world is knowing that I did my best every single day. Not according to you, not according to anybody else. But I can look myself in the eye, in the mirror and say, I did my best. I did a good job. I was the best version of Larry Wingate that I could be. Today. I feel good about myself. When somebody confronted me and insulted me, I handled it well with Dignity and with grace. But I didn't let him get by with it, which I think is important. And I think that's the pair we've lost as well.

Do you ever cross the line sometimes where, like, you've got. I mean, you're talking about this all the time. People expect you to be this pit bull of personal development. You've sort of created this whole shtick about it. I mean, you're fucking. I mean, do you ever accidentally go too far?

Oh, hell, we all cross the line.

Well, I mean, how effective are you in terms of responding and knowing boundaries? Because I imagine you have boundaries. I mean, I think a lot of your boundaries are. You draw lines in the sand of what you will and will not accept, and also what you will and will not say to people. I mean, when does. You know, being honest?

When does it.

When does it actually.

You can go too far. If someone is asking for my honesty, then I don't hold back. If you're asking for it, I'll give it to you. If they're not, and I just see you being an idiot, and you don't want my opinion, I don't feel compelled to share it with you. I think that would be rude. Sometimes when I accidentally cross the line, I am just as quick to apologize if I. And I think apologizing is also part of having a pair.

Well, yeah. And you have an interesting thing about saying I'm sorry, the ways to say sorry. Like, a lot of people just running around and say, I'm sorry for this.

We live in an awfully apologetic society. Some cultures are built on being apologetic. You ever been to Canada?

Yes.

They're sorry. I love Canadians, but they just. It's built in their culture that, you know, you're. They're so nice. They're so nice all the time. Canadians are, and I admire that. But their culture is built on saying, I'm sorry. And I just had a big discussion with a bunch of Canadians this last weekend about that. That's sort of what they've been taught to do. And I think that's one of the problems with society right now is that we're sorry for being who we are. We're sorry for having beliefs. We're sorry for speaking our opinions. We built a whole language around that. I know that was some of the stuff that you pulled out of the book, that you kind of like this language that we built that people say, with all due respect, which means, really, I don't respect you at all. And what I really want to tell you is you're a friggin idiot and get ready for it. They don't respect you. They just like to say that with all due respect, right before they say something really, really obnoxious to you.

What are some other things that you said there? Because.

Oh, in my humble opinion. Why is your opinion humble? Why? And why do you have to tell me in my opinion to begin with? Why? If you're saying it, obviously it's your opinion. We use weak language. That's one of the things I think we all have to get away from is our weak language. You will rarely hear me used. You'll never hear me say in my humble opinion or with all due respect, if I want to say something to you, I'll just say it. You won't hear me say I think. Why would I say I think? I'm saying it. We preface everything to just kind of water it down a little bit, sort of that political correctness. So we wouldn't dare offend anybody. If you think what you're going to say is offend somebody to the point that it bothers you, don't say it.

What about political correctness?

I mean, I think that is one of the most castrating things that has ever happened to our society. Political correctness. I think that we're so careful, careful with everything we say so we won't hurt anybody's feelings, any group of people. We want to make sure that we say it just the right way so we won't step on anybody's toes. And everybody's become so damn sensitive. I gave a speech and it's one of the examples I did in the book where I was told. I rarely tell jokes from the stage, but I told this joke. How's an Oklahoma tornado like a Texas divorce? Either way some old boy's gonna lose his double white. I thought, that's funny. I'm from Oklahoma and it was just one of those throw out things. And I kept right on going. And a woman came up at the end of the speech and she said, I do not appreciate you making fun of fat wives. And I said, I don't recall ever making fun of fat wives in my speech. She said that whole thing about double wides. I said, lady, that's a house trailer. She said, what? A double wide is a trailer, a mobile home. It has nothing to do with fat wives. Of course she weighed 400 pounds. So she was going to take offense, but she was looking for things to take offense to.

And people are.

And that's where we are. We're Looking for people to hurt our feelings, and then when they do, we're quick to be there.

I think it's really interesting too, because in so many areas there have been things that are so over the top. I mean, a race to. With reality tv, you know, take a show like, you know, Fear Factor back when. Just the shit that people would eat on. I mean, literally, you know, on camera. How hardcore pornography has come, how violence on television. All of these things that, you know, back in the 50s, you know, I mean, comedians. I mean, so on some levels, things are just completely over the top. But the political correctness and the sensitivity, it's so bizarre.

We desensitize so many areas. And that area, maybe that's our last bastion of hope, is that we get, you know, we won't even call people fat anymore. You know, they're weight challenged. Yeah, you've probably been called follically challenged. And people think that's funny. No, I'm bald. And, you know, I do this bit in my speech about fat people, and a woman wrote me a nasty letter and she even called the office and said that I shouldn't talk about fat people. And she said, I'm not fat. I am not fat. I'm big bone. And I said, dinosaurs had big bones. You're fat. You know, and why are we afraid to tell somebody they're fat? Why are we afraid for our kids to get a failing grade? We don't get failing grades anymore for little bitty kids that might hurt their feelings. Listen, if you didn't do the work you failed, you need to be aware of that. I have issues with political correctness.

I think you have issues with a.

Lot of things I do.

It's good.

And my issues are based on anything that's. That's not honest. And I ask people to draw lines in the sand. One of the things I do in the book is say, tell me your five things that you will never compromise no matter what. What's your number one thing you'll never compromise?

Me? Incompetency. I mean, I'm thinking about in business and stuff.

Or you just don't tolerate incompetence or.

People that have no integrity. I mean, like, you know.

Okay, so now you have two. That's good. Keep going. You've probably got a handful if you thought about it, right? Yeah. The number one thing for me is honesty. I won't lie to you. I just won't. And I won't be lied to. That's the other thing. I will not tolerate dishonesty. You can come to me. My kids could come to me when they had screwed up. I said, you can call me. I don't care how much trouble you're in. You tell me how much trouble you're in. You tell me the truth, and we'll work our way through it and I'll punish you on the backside of this thing, but we will get through it right now. But don't lie to me. And I remember when teenagers were being teenagers and everybody's going, oh, God, we're in trouble. Who are we going to call? My kids would always say, we can call my dad. He'll fix this thing right now and he'll deal with all of us later. But we can call my dad. That's a much better place to be, especially as a parent. I just won't be lied to. And I won't lie to you.

Oh, so someone's listening to this, and they're clearly either irritated and agitated by what you're saying, or they realize that, yeah, you know, I mean, he's saying stuff that absolutely applies to me, or I'm putting up with shit that I shouldn't be putting up with. I'm acting like a wussy. I mean, whatever.

The.

Everyone has their own way of how they process in here information and knowledge. What's the best way for someone who is mature enough to realize they're fucked up and they want to unfuck themselves basically? Like, what is the quickest path to just, you know, getting rid of all the bullshit? Because you got to a place where you were just completely. Yeah, I can't do this anymore. This is like a facade. I mean, I'm going to start being me. And I think there's a dream that people have to just, you know, you talk about it in the book. People will look at you and they'll gawk at you and they'll notice you and sometimes will talk, you know, make funny or whatever. And you say, you know, I think a lot of people just secretly, you know, they just wish they could, you know, do this.

So, Yeah, I have CEOs that come to me and they look me up from head to toe and say, wish I could dress like that. Hell, you own the company, you're the boss, you can dress any way you want, right? You're dressing for them.

Isn't that funny? When someone says that they're in a position to where they can do what they want and they actually, they don't.

They'Re living their lives for someone else. I'm really selfish I know you are too. I'm a true hedonist. I know you are, too. We do what we do to make ourselves happy, knowing that when we make ourselves happy, we ultimately make more other people happy. Right, right, right. When you're true to yourself and more people need to understand if they got true to themselves. And that's what this is about. Know what your beliefs are. Know what you will never compromise on, and be true to that. Stop compromising. We sell out way too quick for no reason, to impress people that we shouldn't give a damn about anyway. Why do we do that? That's sad. And to answer the question, it sort of starts with knowing what it really takes to be successful. I have a philosophy of success that says, first, know what you want. And I tell everybody. Get three sheets of paper. And on one sheet of paper, write down everything in the world, the way it is right now in your life. Write down how it is financially for you and physically for you and your relationship, everything. And then on the second sheet of paper, write down how you'd like for it to be. And then on the third sheet of paper, write what you're going to give up to get from the way it is to the way you want it to be. That's the most important sheet. And that's the one thing most people in self help never want to talk about. I believe success is based on sacrifice. I believe you have to be willing to give up. You don't get rich, you give up what's making you broke. You don't get skinny, you give up what's making you fat. You don't get happy, you give up what's making you unhappy. And it takes balls to give things up. The self help gurus, the motivational idiots out there will say, you can have it all. We've all heard that. You can have it all. No, you can't. You got to choose. It takes balls. You have to grow a pair to start to look at your life and say, I'm going to choose differently. I'm going to walk away from people and ideas and activities that don't move me closer to my goals. That's the first thing people can do. Yeah, gotcha.

All right, so I am Nick Chinicki. This is Lyle Maxon. Our Brangelina name is Lick Jannison. If you look at our Instagram, it's not a real thing. Don't try to look it up. But how virtual reality will change the world is our talk. We're very passionate about this subject. And as Joe said it's very much like stepping into the movie and this is thrilling. There are actually Emmy award winning VR movies now and there's one called Wolves in the Walls. And this is an audio, visual and kinesthetic experience with full immersion. And what you're doing is you're basically looking through a little girl's eyes as her imaginary friend. So you're looking at her fears, her tribulations, and how she overcomes these via her heroes journey. There you go. Oh, still me. So this is a good slide to take a picture of. This is a whole nother 10 minute talk, which is the science of what's happening in VR. But the key point I want to get across here is learners are three to four times more focused, more emotionally connected, they train faster and they are more confident to apply their skills. So we believe that VR is the greatest evolution of storytelling since the written word. And with this comes the responsibility to uphold this technology ethically for the experience creation machines that it is. So really the big focus of this talk is to move you from fear to inspiration. And you know, ultimately we look at society and where technology is going and we see the over consumption, we see the, the privacy infringements, we see the escapism and the addiction, but ultimately and eventually leading to what we see as the AI overlord takeover. Right. We're buying new phones every single year. What is this all leading to? And we think that this could actually improve human life and access places within our highest selves. Yep. So what is the backbone of this virtual revolution? So this really started in the 1970s. You had Pong, Pac man, penny arcades. I'm old enough to remember, certainly 12 teenagers packed into a room doing quarter arcades. But it has progressed significantly in the last 50 years. Yeah. And now it's become one of the world's largest phenomena. So a great example is 100 million viewers of a single esports tournament. And for those of you who do not know, esports is electronic sports. It's professional video game players. So we're seeing these. And oh, a good thing to mention too is that this year in 2020, the Super bowl had 98 million viewers. So there's actually a single esports tournament that had more viewers in the Super Bowl. So we're seeing packed stadiums sold out, fans screaming and cheering for their favorite computer game players. Just so you know too, this is one game of probably 20 games that have these massive tournaments competing for millions of dollars in cash prizes and in a giant World cup trophy. Mr. Lyle, there's a Lot of hormones in that room for sure. How does gaming compare to all the other entertainment industries? 2020 annual revenue, music industry was 23 billion. All of US sports combined, $75 billion for all US sports, you had 81 billion for movies. And drum roll please. Video game industry blows them away at $175 billion. So clearly. So the big thing is this isn't just about video games. What was classically defined as a video game, an arcade, a console, a PC game, is now any immersive interactive experience. So what we saw during the pandemic was this explosion of virtual concerts where popular games like Fortnite and Roblox were actually featuring celebrities like Ariana Grande, who actually transformed into a virtual avatar of herself to perform in front of millions of fans. And specifically for this concert that she did recently in, Fortnite broke the world record with 78 million viewers of her virtual concert. Another great example is what we're all talking about. NFTs and the virtual land purchase, similar to the Cleater phenomena. And we're seeing people like Snoop Dogg literally transfer his entire mansion and his actual property into a virtual world to host talks, conferences and concerts. I think Joe, Jason and Jennifer were inspired by Snoop Dogg. So I'm waiting until they're all up here on stage with Blunts. We'll just see how this progresses. But what's going on here? Right, so Microsoft bought Activision in January 2022 for a shocking $68.7 billion. That's their biggest historical purchase. And if you're not familiar, Activision is the largest gaming company in the world. Facebook announced Meta and pledges 10 billion a year towards immersive technologies. They're onboarding 10,000 employees worldwide. So there's a race, a sprint to create the Metaverse. So the Metaverse is basically a promise of a VR space in which players can connect with computer generated environments and other players across multiple platforms. So that definition is broadening, but you can kind of see a picture there. You can take your sneakers into the next Metaverse. Yeah. And the medium to do this, right now people are doing it on PCs and consoles. Fortnite, for instance, is a Metaverse style game. But the next medium is of course a virtual reality headset. Here is the quest 2, which is the most popular, cheapest and best headset around. So really we wanted to just highlight what are some positive examples of how this technology is being used. What I like to call benevolent technology. So I wanted to start with Akili. Akili Interactive made history by actually having the first FDA approved video game. So what this means is that kids were able to get off of their Adderall and Ritalin and transfer to a cell phone game that they play twice a week to create new neurosynapses and actually increase their focus. It's amazing that we're talking about ADHD and everything fits so in line. And then this opened up the floodgates to applied VR. This happened a few months ago and it is an FDA approved VR experience specific to pain management. So you actually use the head tracking of the app and you focus on different parts of the environment and it relieves you of your pain, takes you away from your pain body and is now a prescribable experience. What was mentioned in the intro, this is an experience that I'm responsible for producing and publishing called Soundself. And it actually uses vocal intonations. And so as you're vocalizing into the headset, it creates a biofeedback loop that actually creates theta and gamma brainwaves. So you basically become an Expert Meditator in 10 minutes. Another great example is for training and enterprise. What I love to talk about is this incredible use case where surgeons are actually training with VR headsets and have a 230% increase in effectiveness versus their standard surgeon training. Hey, I hope you're enjoying this video and I want to let you know that I have a new book that's come out and if you'd like to get it absolutely free, there's a link below in the description. Or you can wait till the end of this video or you can Simply go to joesfreebook.com and you can get a copy there. That's right. And this is all about for me, empathy generation. So the ability to fully step into someone else's shoes. And to Joe's point, in 2014 I created something called the Art of Courage Museum, which was a physical museum in Tempe. And it's part of one of the many nonprofits I'm a part of. This was a physical learning center and featured 30 paintings by spiritual practitioners of Falun Dafa whom are currently being persecuted by the ccp. And basically we would take kids there, we'd educate them, they'd learn how to meditate, they'd learn about principles like truthfulness, compassion, forbearance or Jin Shanren Chinese. And I created this beautiful thing with one developer which was this entire recreation of a Tang style village. And you would literally go into this and walk into the paintings and experience each painting in full immersion. So what we're finding is this is a great way to share causes. VR is an amazing way to really get people empathetic about a cause. We believe. Well, Joel said no one cares what you believe. So what we see is happening is gamification and full immersion and is coming to all industries and will absolutely affect every single aspect of our daily lives. This industry is moving very, very fast and this can be overwhelming. And so what we're here to do is we want to rewrite our relationship with technology and create a positive relationship with ourselves and humanity at large. So now that we've gone through this, you know that there's options for adhd, there's options for chronic pain, there's options for education. It's just about how we consciously apply the solution. So we think you should get a VR headset, you should start experiencing the vast benefits of immersion. And what will you create in VR to uplift the human spirit? So what are some of the life lessons that you would recommend for living not only a successful life, but a fulfilled life?

No, I think that leading a fulfilling life. See, for us, the career comes about four or five rungs down the ladder. It really does, because I think so many people, when you meet somebody, what's one of the first things you ask them? Tell me about yourself. And what's the first response?

Oh, I'm a.

Or this is what I do. And I want to say, that's not what I asked you. I want you to tell me about yourself. So many people equate who they are by what they do. This man does not, because who he is is a child of God, a person of worth, a faithful husband, a loving father. So the career follows that. And what I love is that he.

Hangs up the coat and hat like.

Captain Hook once the show is over and he comes back to being the most amazing spouse and partner ever. So I mean that in of itself the priority, you know, having God be first, having each other be second, our.

Kids right up there.

But Job is fourth or fifth. So who you are is not necessarily what you do. It's a byproduct of who you are. But I don't think my husband lets that define him. And that's fulfilling.

I always say it's really fun to play this character because he's nothing like me. He's this arrogant villain. You know, when I did, when I did Herod and Jesus Christ Superstar, they did, you know, it was going to be a one night thing. And Andrew Weber and Tim Rice says, well, who's going to play Herod. And they both said, alice. And they said, because we want Herod to be this arrogant, Alan Rickman condescending kind of character rather than this roly, poly kind of dumb guy. So I said, that's exactly. I'll play that easily, you know, because I'll just play the. I'll play it as Alice. Here it is, Alice. Only I'll make it a little more like that. And. But like you said, when the curtain comes down, I don't know where Alice goes, but it certainly doesn't come off stage. He stays on stage. There was a time when I didn't know where that gray area was. I didn't know where I started and where Alice ended. When I got sober, I started realizing if I. If I look at videos of Alice when I was. When I was high, Alice was a victim. He played a victim. He played society's victim. Every kid could. Could look at that and say, yeah, that's me. Everybody hates me. They're going to cut my head off, they're going to hang me, they're going to do all this stuff, you know, When I got sober, I started realizing, I can't play that character anymore. What am I going to do with Alice? And I said, I want Alice now to be the villain. I want him to be the joker. I want him to be this. When he walks on stage, the audience goes, you know, oh. Because he doesn't go up there and say, gosh, I hope you like us tonight. He goes, come here. And the audience wants that. They want to be taken, you know, okay. You know, and that's how we play them now, you know, but it. He would never swear on stage because he's too much of a gentleman. He'd slit your throat, but he'd never swear, you know. Yeah. And it would be in the nicest way.

I just have this. This thought that's occurring to me right now with you and Andre here. And it just reminds me that I heard someone, I think maybe three days ago that had said, yeah, you know, I feel like I'm in prison. And it now has a different meaning based on just what Andre said. Oh, I, you know, I mean, I didn't have an iPhone, I didn't have an iPad. I could do 14 days or what. And, you know, you guys both work within prisons. And then, you know, with Andre at times where I've heard him talk or I've interviewed him where he said, you know, it was one of the greatest things that ever happened to me because he was forced to have to really get to look at, like, what the hell am I doing with my life? Right. How did I get so much anger and rage, which is what you mentioned earlier, Stedman. And there's a lot of people that feel their freedoms have now been taken away. And I'm having to juggle right now with the date that we're doing this. Some people that are like, you know, the economy is going to crash. We need to let entrepreneurs do what it is they need to do. And then others, and some of these same people are on watching us right now that, no, people can't go out anywhere. They're going to. This is about containing this disease and everything in between. I mean, and there's, you know, this person thinks this is the right way to do it. The other person thinks that's a death sentence for people. And then the whole where you're at right now, you're now limited. There are things you used to be able to do that we took for granted. And all of a sudden those options are not available. So in this space, what is, do you think the greatest? You talked about thinking, you talked about mindset. I would love to hear from both of you. One, how would you recommend people best utilize this adversity as a way to get to know themselves, learn how to make better decisions and connect with themselves? Because some people have told me privately, man, I've not been home with my spouse and partner and kids like this ever before, and I'm going nuts. And so everyone is having different experiences about this. And I'd love to have you guys give some thoughts, recommendations, suggestions on how to make the most of what a lot of people perceive as very horrible situation. Well, I think you have to. If I can go first, I think you have to be able to eliminate the limiting beliefs about what you can't.

Do, because this is, you know, and not look at it as.

Look at this as a negative. But begin to figure out, you know, and ask yourself, what can I do? What is possible for me in this situation?

You know, we're lucky to live in.

America and we're lucky to have access to technology and phones. And so how do you now begin to work on a purpose in life.

That allows you now to, no matter what happens if the world stops, you can keep going.

It's one thing to have confidence, it's another with courage. My buddy Dan Sullivan says courage or fear is peeing your pants. You know, courage is doing what you need to do with wet pants. Yeah, right.

Yeah. That's so good.

Yeah. And so. So there are times where when our life sucks, or we. We think or interpret it as sucking.

Yeah.

Or we hate it. Where we actually have to operate with courage. And courage, in my experience, never feels good because you're having to kind of, like, fight.

Mine neither. Yeah.

You know, someone out and you're scared because they may reject you.

Well, courage always indicates the presence of fear.

Right.

Yeah. Yeah.

And that's why it doesn't feel good.

Right.

Right. Yeah. You can't have fear without excitement. You can't have excitement without fear. Maybe you can, but I think in most cases, you don't. So. Yeah. So my. So what was the turning point? Because it's one thing where we can say all this, but the person watching and listening, I'd love for them to. You know, getting your body to do the things that your brain or your mouth is telling you to. To do are two different things. You can give yourself affirmations, you can go to motivational seminars, but to actually affect that change, like when that happened for you, like, what was the thing? What did you actually do? If that is a teachable thing.

Yeah, I mean, I think it is a teachable thing. I really started studying emotions and, like, how to process them through and really understanding that an emotion, if you allow an emotion, it has a beginning and an end. And the beginning and the end, in my experience, is not 60 seconds. Sometimes it's three days for me. But I learned the difference between resisting an emotion, which just makes it bigger but less in your own awareness. Like, I have so many clients, they just say they feel numb.

Right.

Because they're just constantly escaping or resisting. And what I learned is that you can. And I use this, like, this imagery in my own mind. If somebody had, like, a vial or a syringe of, like, an emotion, and they said, hey, I'm gonna inject you with fear right now, or I'm gonna inject you with shame. Are you ready? Can you experience it? And then I injected you. And you knew that it would last a certain amount of time. You would be able to kind of witness yourself experiencing the emotion instead of actually being so engaged in it. And so when I realized that, I started teaching my clients and myself to be the witness of my own emotion as I'm experiencing it. And in that, becoming the witness of it, you get some relief from it without resisting it. And that. That is what changed everything. But step one has to be. And this is the challenging piece. And you know this with addiction, right. You can stop drinking, you can stop doing drugs. You can stop eating with willpower, which is just resisting emotion. And that's why so many people are so ineffective with being able to kind of out will themselves.

Oh, yeah, no, willpower doesn't work.

It just doesn't.

Ben Hardy even wrote a book to that title. And the other thing it's interesting about this conversation is I'm sitting here thinking about the alcohol, the food. For me, it was. It was sex, it was work, it was drugs. I mean, my first addiction was addiction to drugs. I was a cocaine addict. But it wasn't the cocaine. The cocaine was the solution. The sex was the solution. The workaholism was the solution. I say that addiction is a solution to pain.

Yes.

The real problem is the pain. Trying to escape the pain. And when you can find healthier ways to address or you can eliminate the pain. And sometimes you can do that intellectually, other times it's in the body. You know, that whole saying, the issues are in the tissues.

But I actually think that's a mistake many of us make is we think, okay, we start to understand, okay, the addiction is a solution to pain. So the solution is to eliminate the pain. And eliminating pain, especially if it's trauma, pain, like eliminating it quickly and easily, which is what we all want to do, is sometimes not available. And I've actually found that if you, if you're not in a hurry to eliminate the pain because you have a willingness to be able to experience it, then it is so much more sustainable for the rest of your life in all areas.

Well, okay, let me say it this way then. Tell me what you think of this, because I'm. I listen to try to. I'm always doing stuff to try to learn. Yeah, yeah, totally. And to unlearn, right? Because I think the, like, what helped me with my recovery was not learning, it was the unlearning. And the thing that was most interesting is when you are often getting better, the people around you that are hooked into your crazy making, they start losing their shit, right? And they become, in many cases, unsupportive of your progress. And so the thing with pain, for me, if I get into a sauna or a cold point, which I do almost daily, and when I first started doing it, hated it. Because you know what I think humans want? And I learned this from Poe Bronson at a bookstore years ago, he said, you know, what people want is more woo and less Ah. And I love that, right? Because like, everything we do, yeah, it's like, woo. Anyone watching this right now, they're hoping we're going to say something that's going to get more woo. Dave is going to go eat whatever weird food he's going to eat later, later. And it's hoping, you know, woo. People have sex for woo. People pursue business for woo. And they do things. I don't want any. Ah. And some people give us woo. Other people's crate, ah. Certain jobs and careers are woo. Others are ah. But the thing is, getting into a cold plunge or a sauna is ah, in the beginning. But if I sit with it, yeah, I become heat adapted or cold adapted. And it's kind of like what you're saying, sitting with your emotional pain. And so for me, if you try, try to numb it or make it go away, it actually makes it worse and you don't.

I totally agree.

And in some cases, that's the spiral. And so what I often think about is in the first chapter of my book, did you notice the subtle plug for my book again? What's in it for them? In it for them not to title. The question to always be running through your head is be a pain, detective, because pain is a messenger. And if you want to help other people, look at where they're suffering and how you can either reduce it, eliminate it, or sit with it. And there's many different experiences, but your own pain, if you're unaware of your own pain, you will do all kinds of bizarre crap.

So true.

And so pain can be. Pain is one of the deepest bonding mechanisms of humans. And when you're sitting with someone who's been through the trenches, like in recovery groups, you know what's interesting? In recovery, no matter what, and when I say recovery groups most well known, even though there's many for Recovery groups are 12 steps. You know, started in the 30s by Dr. Bob and, you know, Bill W. And one of the things that they did, when the addicts would start healing, they would sit with each other and they would have an instant rapport with people that they just met. And oftentimes no one around them understood them because those people understood the crazy making of their own addiction. And it started with alcoholism, and now it's been adapted to many other things. But the interesting thing about it is once the addicts started getting sober, not all of them did, but the ones that did, the family, you know, the husbands, the wives, the family members would start losing their shit because they were addicted to the crazy making right where they started. Al Anon. So that.

So for all the codependents. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah.

So in, in a lot of ways when you started going through this cocoon butterfly effect of your own life, what were the biggest challenges of that in order to sustain you and keep you going? Because what I see happens is people can often come to an event, one of our events. Someone's.

They.

They get close. They stick their head out of the pit of crap that they've built for themselves, and they're like, I have a new vision. I haven't. And they're excited. And then something around them, their environment, their dopamine in their head, because so much of this is biochemical sphere of influence, pulls them right back down, and they go back to it. So what was it that got you out of it and kept you out of it or started.

I mean, I think for me, and this probably won't help other people, this was my life's work. Right. So I was. Every time I learned something, I was always thinking about it for myself and for my clients. Always for myself and my clients. But I did have a lot of backlash. I will say one of the things that even now is so fascinating is when you really become kind of a master of your own emotions and you're willing to experience any emotion and you know that you can process it through, your level of confidence is, like, radically higher than anyone. Anyone who's unwilling to do that, then this is what you're talking about. There's a lot of people who have a lot of success that are still afraid of their own emotions. And so the level of confidence that they're portraying is not how they actually feel. And I will say that my level of confidence in myself and in my life and how I feel about myself now is really kind of uncomfortable for a lot of other people, especially, like, in my immediate family. And, you know, people will say to me all the time, oh, must be so nice to think you're so great. And I'm like, it is so nice. And I'll tell you why. Because I spent a lot of my life hating myself.

Yeah.

And if these are my choices, I can either hate myself or think that I'm fantastic. I'm gonna pick that I'm fantastic every single time. Because. And it's crazy that we can criticize someone for thinking they're great.

Yeah. Like, it's wild.

Like. Like, people will hate on me for me saying that I think what I've done is incredible and amazing and I love myself.

Okay. So for stepping up for people to step up, one of the things that I've observed with just so many people over the years, if people really are a victim. If something really bad happened to them, if they were robbed, if they were raped, if they were molested, if they were embezzled from, if they were hurt, if they were oppressed. I mean, there's all kinds of things. If someone genuinely was a victim, and then as they. They develop themselves to either be defined by it or take whatever their past is and use it as a raw ingredient to hopefully learn lessons and build further. There's a certain level of conditioning where someone gets into the mode of being a complainer or being a victim. What do you suggest to people? Because I think people become blind to hearing it. Like, they can hear what you're saying and say, okay, yeah, I kind of get that. And they have all this subconscious conditioning that they wake up every day and they bitch and they complain. What do you suggest someone in that mode does? I mean, how do you flip that switch? I mean, that's what I love about your 5:00am Club. It's conditioning. I mean, it's rituals. It's things that you do, and those things develop you. But if someone is watching this or listening to this, going, but, Robin, you don't really understand my life because they're still in that place where they can't hear it, what would you say to them?

Well, you know, there's so much in your question.

And.

The first thing I would say is, you know, look, I was in Johannesburg a little while ago, and I went through the airport, and I went into the men's room or washroom or bathroom, however you want to call it. And so I walked in to the men's room, and the first thing I hear is, welcome to my office. And this was the janitor at the Johannesburg men's room.

That's funny.

Who janiturized, or I'll make up a word, cleaned the men's, the toilets, like Mozart composed music. Now, that man has no money. That man probably has very little education. That man is judged by the world as having an unimportant job. And that man is a hero. Could be a hero to millions of people. Why? Because he actually saw himself as an ambassador to. To South Africa. And his passion was palpable. And his visceral commitment to doing work at the highest level was like, you don't see, even from the CEOs. And all I'm saying is even the person with the broken heart, the person who's down on their knees, whether they see it or not, they have a choice to rise above their circumstances. And leadership in humanities is a testament to the people who have done it. I mean, you read the. You look at Mandela, 27 years in imprisonment. When his son died, he wasn't allowed to attend the funeral of his own son. He said that was one of the great pains of his own, of his life. And what did he do? The victim looks at something like that, torture, and says, I am broken. And they give up. And they close their heart, they close their mind, they. They close their creativity. And they blame the rest of their life on what happened to them. But Mandela, what he chose to do was to use it as an opportunity. Because actually, the things that break your heart, if you choose, can open your heart. Fear. The world says fear is bad. Fear is only an opportunity for bravery training. And what he did was he used those 27 years of talk, torture, to open himself mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually to the point where when he was released and became the president of South Africa, he invited his jailers to sit in the front row at his inauguration. And he was asked why? And he said, because if I don't, I'd still be in prison. And that's a long way of saying, but, you know, we do make excuses because we are very good at self deception. Because if we actually had to face the response, responsibility of playing with our bigness in the world, we'd have to let go of our addiction to our excuses and leave what's safe. Am I making sense?

No, totally. No, you totally.

You'd have to leave what's safe. I mean, we are addicted to crisis. Sometimes it makes no sense. We are addicted to pain. And we'd have to actually leave the pain to go out to the possibility of pleasure and joy and greatness. And believe it or not, that frightens us. So we make these excuses and then we blame people. Oh, Joe or Robin. I don't like the way he looks. He speaks differently. But subconsciously, as you're suggesting, those are just our protective mechanisms to avoid owning the responsibility of our brilliance. The other thing I wanted to ask you is what's up next for you? I heard you say, you know, you might have a title for your next book or with your family, with your faith, with your books, with anything. What is up for you and how can we support you?

I appreciate that. So I'm on sabbatical right now. I took a sabbatical for the summer, Joe Polish style. Except he did it right. I like, fell into it and realized I wasn't prepared and that I should have talked to Joe ahead of time. But during the summer, I decided, hey, when my Kids are not in school or when my kids are, when they're not in school, I'm not working. And so this was the first few months I did a sabbatical with them and then now that they're back in school, I'm still extending the sabbatical. Just where I can kind of work on stuff without pressure. So I don't have a team right now. I don't have anyone that I have to answer to. This is like the first interview I've done in probably three months. So shows how much I love Yuli and genius and wanting to contribute wherever I can. But yeah, for me, it's my family. We just moved onto 30 acres. We want to be self sufficient and be able to grow our own food and take care of ourselves. And so that's been. I have shied away from manual labor my entire life and now I'll work like seven hour days digging ditches, building structures. And I'm loving it. It is such a form of meditation of. It's like I am just totally present. I'm not stressed about all the 20 different things in my business. I just got to build this wall right now. And making sure this nail is properly placed requires 100% of my presence and focus and attention. So that's been a really beautiful shift is just to focus on living on the land and being present and building with my family. I've got. My wife's stepfather and her dad are here. It's just a big family event. And anyway, so that's been a lot of fun and I just want to keep my family number one. You know, I think that for a long time I was a businessman with a family and now I want to be a family man with a business. And I feel like I've really, this last year or so I've really leaned further and further into that. And yeah, and to me, you know, I think for all of us entrepreneurs, if you ask what was most important, I think that most of us would say family. But if you then asked to say, hey, can I see your schedule? I think that most entrepreneurs you'd look at it and go, wait a minute, I thought family was most important. Why do you work like all the time and you carve out an hour a day for the family and maybe a little bit on the weekends, but then you. Sometimes for me, at least in the past, I would throw. Hey guys, sorry. This Saturday I've got a book launch coming up, so I can't, I gotta work. And can you take the kids, sweetheart? And I Just think that's bullshit. And I think that, you know, if we're doing this for our family, we need to be with our family. It's not about doing it for some point in the future. You know, my daughter's 12 now. My son is nine and she's 12 going on 17. And I mean, you know, for those of you that have grown kids, you always hear that it goes by so fast. And when your kids are little, you're like, nah, it's good. We got so much time. But yeah, I think for all of us, really get clear on what matters most to you, whether it's your family or it's your health or it's both or something else. And make sure that your schedule tells the story of your priorities. Make sure your schedule tells the story of your priorities. And for me, it's. I will only work while my kids are in school and I will not work when they are not in school. And that goes for holidays. It goes for through, you know, I pick them up every day at 3pm it goes for, you know, for summer vacations, it goes for the weekends, all of it. You know, if they have a play like, you know, they are, that is my number one priority. And it just feels good when you live in alignment with that. That and health, Health and family. Those are my top two. And just making sure I'm living in alignment, that's the future. And professionally, the Miracle Morning movie came out in December. That is still like, I feel the Miracle Morning, the movie and the book and the series, it's really still my North Star. Like everything I do is in alignment with reaching 1 billion people. We've reached 3 million people, which is great. But if we want to elevate the consciousness of humanity, I feel like a billion is going to be the tipping point, or at least close to it. So I have a lot of work to do and the rest of my life to do it.

You have some people in here who want to help you for sure. And 300 million is right on the.

Way to a billion.

You're on your way. I will say on the calendar thing, I learned a long time ago when you do your calendar to color code it. So even my daughter has her own color, which is purple. And then I could see how much time am I spending with her. And, you know, green is making money and blue is at the gym and whatever it is. So if you color code it, you could look at the month and see how well it's balanced. Cameron, did you. I actually want to ask Nick Sonnenberg, do you have anything you want to add to that? Because you are the king at making sure we manage our calendars properly. But if you have something to add, I want to have you up here at the end. Okay. Anything else that we want to ask Hal before we tune off? Because this is such an honor to have you with us.

Randy, had a quick question.

Hi, how are you?

How I have read your book long time ago. It was very instrumental in helping me.

Change the way I started my days.

And the way I looked at things. And I was curious, where did you decide to move?

So I was living in Austin and we just moved like 40 minutes outside of Austin.

Okay. So just out in the country, basically.

From where you live, close enough to the city and the airport that, you know, we're not too much outcast. But yeah, so just a little bit outside the city. I'm proud of you for making super.

Good choices so young in life. I raised five kids with my wife.

And there's just nothing better than having close relationships when you're older with your kids. I've seen so many families I've dealt.

With where there was somebody in the.

Family that there was no relationship with a kid.

And then they don't want the grandkids.

To see the parents either.

And it's like, it is nightmare, let me tell you.

So this is the way you save those relationships.

You invest in them when you're young.

And you prioritize so they know you're important to them.

Yeah. Randy, thank you for that. I think.

This helps in business too. Scott. Donald was actually just telling me a story last night where he had to cancel an appointment with someone because something happened where he could be with his son at his school. And when he called the person back a couple hours later and said, I'm really sorry, I had to cancel. I had to be at my son's school. That person said, I want to do business with you more because you get the priorities in life. So I'm glad you're sharing this because we all need to hear it. One of the things I got to do earlier, about a year ago, Jim Dew and I got to spend some time with Magic Johnson. And we talked to Magic Johnson about how do you run multi billion dollar companies and stay happy? And he says every August he takes the entire month off. He rents a yacht, he has four weeks. One week is with his family, one week is with other couples, one week is with his wife, and one week is with his friends. But he's running multi billion dollar companies. He's taking that month's sabbatical. Everyone knows he's there and he set it up so his family is first. And I think you've learned the same thing. But here he is running multi billion dollar companies and showing us it's important to take time and make your family first. So thank you for sharing that, Hal. Cameron, did you want to add anything else? Nope. Okay, because you're getting ready to change your life a lot and you're creating miracle mornings. So you're like an example for me of how to pay attention. I would love you to because I'm sure Hal would love to hear it too. Hal, I'm going to have Cameron back up here because he's in transition in his life creating new miracle morning. And if he doesn't mind sharing, I'd love him to.

I'm skinny. I'm down £40 from my peak. So something I'm doing, and I talked about this in the miracle morning for entrepreneurs was I often suck at my mornings.

They're often not the best part of.

My day and I work hard at that. And I wanted people to realize that just because we try to practice the morning savers, don't beat yourself up. If you get two or three days in and you haven't done it, start again like tomorrow's the new day. But one thing I've done about prioritizing family like Hal's doing is I've now.

Had a of lot 11 weeks vacation.

This year since January. I've already had 11 weeks off. I talked to my team because I felt guilty about it a month or two ago and they said no, no, we're really engaged. We love that you're still working it and driving it forward and the company's growing like crazy.

Tomorrow my girlfriend and I leave for Italy.

We'll be living there for the next six weeks. We've sold everything in Arizona. I'm giving back my green card in November.

So we're completely unplugging.

I haven't worked a night after 5:30 or a Saturday or Sunday in seven years. So not a single night after 5:30 or a Saturday or Sunday in seven years. When we get to Italy on Monday.

I will only be working 1 o'.

Clock till 7 o'.

Clock. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Italy time. No Thursdays, no Fridays, no Saturday, no Sundays. We've got the entire business delegated or set up to be able to do that now and continuing to scale. But I just don't compromise that stuff.

And then the time with my kids.

I was just offered a big speaking event, but it's the day that I'm flying back from Italy to see my.

One son in Montreal. I said no to the speaking event.

And the guy's scrambling, going, but we need you. We need you. And I said, no, I'm spending time with my son. And he goes, I'll tell you what, I'll shift my event in November. Can you do it the day before?

I'm like, yeah, we can make that happen.

So, like, to Lee's point. But I think if you have to keep that priority and really focus on it. Most of us are lying to ourself when we say that we're just trying to catch up. When you're working at night to try to catch up or you're working at weekend to try to catch up, we'll never catch up. Because as soon as we catch up.

We'Re going to have bigger goals.

We'll buy another company, we'll expand more, we'll start another business.

So you're not catching up.

You're avoiding your spouse, you're avoiding your.

Kids, you're avoiding your insecurities, your pain.

And you're getting the dopamine rush from working. So just try to find it in some other place.

That's all I'm doing. Thank you. That is so valuable. Thank you. He's moving to Italy tomorrow. Do you guys hear that?

Thank you. Cam Wilson, Your life.

Did you know he was moving to Italy tomorrow? Or is this news for you, Hal?

This is the first I've heard of it.

I wanted him to tell you because I know you're so close, but, I mean, that's a big deal, right? That's a big deal. What if I told you that there wasn't a personal or business problem in the world that couldn't be solved by five words? I'm curious, by a show of hands, how many of you do things you don't want to do? Raise your hands. Yeah, all right. Cool.

Yeah.

Three years ago, I'd have raised my hand as well. But today, I'm going to share with you the five words that completely transformed my life, tripled my net worth, and allow me to show up in a big way. For those who count on me, I want to be very clear. This was a very expensive lesson to learn. It cost me my money, my health, and my life. It cost me everything. But today, it's only going to cost you 10 minutes. Your undivided attention. So let's dive in to how a series of misfortunes followed by A life altering terminal illness has brought me more joy than any other life experience to date. I'm going to take you through a quick journey, one that lasted over three years in real life. But I'll do my best to summarize in just a few minutes. Imagine yourself. It's 2019. Your entire body is shutting down. You have major issues with your left lung, liver failure, thyroid failure, kidney failure, and brain edema. None of the 196 doctors you've seen could tell you how to fix what's wrong.

Hey, I hope you're enjoying this video. And I want to let you know that I have a new book that's come out and if you'd like to get it absolutely free, there's a link below in the description. Or you can wait till the end of this video or you can Simply go to joe'sfreebook.com and you can get a copy there.

Only that you should get your affairs in order and plan for the worst. At this point, you'd spent almost a million dollars out of pocket and over 9,000 hours spent on trying to heal. Fast forward to 2021. Nothing changed. Every day is torture. At that point, you're just praying for death a few months go by. The date is March 23, 2021. You finally get a moment of clarity. You decide to talk to your significant other. She's actually in the back right over there. You say, my love, this isn't getting any better. I'm draining our finances and being tortured to death for our family. I think I'm going to kill myself. It was the only sense of control you felt in years. Now, if you told that to most people, they try to lock you up in a mental institution. But your partner didn't. Instead, they told you, I love you and I understand, but let's spend the next 30 days getting ready. Let's stop trying to heal and only do things that you find fun. After those 30 days, we can make a decision as a family. And over the next 30 days, you do. You get your affairs in order. You shoot videos for your mom, your brother, your partner, your friends and your team. You want them to know that they will be taken care of and not to worry about you. After you pass, you get a will and a trust. You talk to your employees about what the business is going to look like when you're gone. You do several hours of research on what the most painless way to kill yourself is. It's heroin. It is heroin. Yeah. You also start doing things you've always wanted to do. It's hard to imagine the free time you get when you stop trying to save your life. This is the best 30 days you've ever had. You finally get to do everything on your bucket list. You get to have long, deep conversations with your partner, your family and your friends. The type of conversations you can only have when you know the end is near. You feel the most free you've ever felt, like you opened the door to the torture chamber room. You start to live by the five words that I'll reveal to you in a minute. And the craziest thing happens. You start to feel a little better. Not 100% all at once, but little.

By little.

Enough to postpone killing yourself. Obviously, I'm here. Fast forward to one year later, which is around today, and I am almost 100%. Over the course of your three year ordeal, you get a gift that sadly, many people in the world do. You get to find rock bottom, the place where life doesn't have value anymore. And you find five deceivingly simple words that have solved every problem you've ever had. Are you ready for the big reveal? Good hooks, right? The biggest question you ask yourself before you do anything now is, does this bring me joy? But it's worth it in the end because once you get there, you can move mountains. And I have a framework that I'll share that once you apply it, you'll learn how to think about it and start using it daily. It will make you wonder how you lived your life any other way. Here's the framework. It's very simple. You ask your question, does this bring me joy? If not, can I delegate it to someone that will find joy in it? If not, can I personally reframe it to find joy in it? If not, get rid of it like your life depended on it? So let's apply it to five real life examples. The first example, how many of you hate firing people? By a raise of hands? Come on, there's got to be more than that. How many people hate firing people? All right. Yeah, me too, right? So I asked myself, does this bring me joy?

Hell no. Right?

Hell no. Can I delegate it? Not sustainably. Does it need to be done? Yes. So how can I reframe letting someone go to bring me joy? Here's how I did it. I hopped on a call with someone recently that needed to be let go. I asked them, hey, is this job bringing you joy? You know what they said? Hell no.

Right?

I said, that's great. That is great. Let's figure out what does bring you joy. What do you want to do? It just happened that they've always dreamed of working for one of their heroes, who I happen to be friends with. I actually met them here at Genius Network. I made a quick call and I got that person their dream job. Till this day, they still thank me. I now do this for every team member transition. Are there any team members that don't bring you joy that could find joy at another job? My second example. Who here hates working out? Okay, yeah, me too. I know it's hard to believe with this buff ass body, but seriously, it brings me absolutely no joy and I can't delegate it. So I had to reframe it. I decided to find an activity that I really love doing in order to motivate me to work out and really get better at it. That's when I discovered that I love rock climbing. In fact, I took third place in a super intermediate climbing competition, which is one of the most joyful experiences I've ever had.

Yeah.

Is there any physical activity that does bring you joy? My third example. How many of you have daily chores that you hate doing? No, seriously, how many people? Okay, yeah, quite a few. For me, it's laundry. But I used to pick up that basket and load up the washer. Like I absolutely had to do it. You could try to delegate it to your spouse. I really, really wouldn't recommend it. I tried it and I'm not sure our relationship is still recovered. But I do have someone who comes to the house. They do all our laundry now put it away, and even do other things around the house that I don't find joy in. And you know what? It's not super expensive. Expensive. Is there anything in your daily life that you feel doesn't bring you joy that you can delegate? My fourth example. How many people here have someone in their life because they feel obligated to or because they feel like they're supposed to? A brother, a parent, an old friend, or a business partner. For me, it was my dad. I tried my entire life to fix things with him. I had a lot of child protective services called on me as a child. It's safe to say that I did not have a great relationship with him. At first, I tried to delegate to a counselor. Didn't work. Then I decided to see if I could reframe it. And maybe I was the one who was the problem. But in the end, it brought me more joy to cut him out. Everyone says you have to fix a relationship with your parents. However, nobody tells you the Joy of letting them go. Is there anyone in your life that would bring you joy to cut them out? My fifth and last example. My last example is a client. Sure, we all have that. There was a client my company had when I was sick that really didn't bring me joy. They were late paying. They always complained. They were incredibly stressful. You know the type. However, they were a huge client. They were paying us over half a million dollars a year. That client would always take credit for all the success, but would blame us for all the problems. I tried delegating to the team, and that definitely didn't bring them joy. Then I tried reframing it to thinking maybe we were the issue. But again, in the end, it was hard as hell to fire a client that's paying us over $500,000 a year. However, it bought me things that money can't. I bought my soul back. My team members got their faith back in me. I gained more happiness. And of course, it brought us a shitload more money. We filled this client spot with three other clients at the same price with the same amount of team members. Because good clients take less work, we tripled our profit from firing a single client. Are there any customers that don't bring you joy? The main point I want to drive home is to start eliminating or delegating things that don't bring you joy. When you walk out of here, just find one thing that you're currently doing and ask yourself to be like my hero, Marie Kondo. Does this bring me joy? If it doesn't, ask yourself, is there a way for this to bring me joy? And if the answer is no, cut it out. And if you're feeling bold, do it again and again and again. Watch how your life transforms, your income increases, and you become more wealthy in time. Happiness, freedom, and of course, money.

Okay, I hope you found that video awesome and useful. So if you want to get a free copy of my book, I want you to click here. And if you want to watch some more videos that will be useful and awesome, click here. Go ahead. You're over here.

Do it now.

Come on.

Thank you.

Watch them.