#123 - Meaghan B Murphy: Happy in 30 seconds?

Imagine being a teenager and your best friend gets killed. Imagine what trauma that puts you through in your mind. Imagine the loss. Imagine how much pain you may go through and how it could lead you to a dark side. Well, now imagine being able to take that path in a different direction and go up the hill and get better and get stronger through simple approaches to improving your life. To being able to see a glass half full, even a dark glass, because there's always a lesson in everything we do. It's hard to find, and there aren't that many of us that believe this or have been through extreme trauma. Well, joining me on today's show is a woman who's incredible. She's not only the editor-in-chief of Woman's Day magazine, she is the author of a brand new book, who was just on Live with Kelly and Ryan and all these other national shows. Her name is Megan B. Murphy. She has become one of my dearest friends. We're kindred spirits. I really feel it. And she's going to share with us simple techniques, uh, so you can feel happy in 30 seconds, for example, little things you can do. That's all on today's show, guys. So if that sounds good, let's get ready for a life of what she calls yay. Hi, my name is Jorge Cruise, and I'm known as the number one weight loss strategist to the world's busiest celebrities. I'm also a multiple New York Times bestselling diet author with over 30 books and 12 million fans. You may have seen my work with Oprah Winfrey, Khloe Kardashian, Tyra Banks, Kelly Clarkson, or even Dr. Oz. My career started in my early 20s because I was addicted to sugar, carbs, and salty snacks, and experts told me to simply count calories to get control. They were wrong. My passion to get radical control over hunger has led me to find science-proven ways to create zero hunger and help my clients drop 2 pounds each day. And I know I can help you too. Welcome to the Zero Hunger Revolution. Well, happy Sunday. It is March 28th. Wow. The last Sunday of March. Uh, spring is here. Uh, it's a beautiful, gorgeous, hot kind of summer day in San Diego. Uh, I'm thrilled you're listening. Welcome to the show. I'm Jorge Cruise. Welcome to the Jorge Cruise Show. Today I have an incredible guest. She's gonna share some incredible techniques that have worked for her to overcome some dark times and to look at a glass half full. And we need this more than ever. You know, this is some simple strategies that you can utilize no matter what you're going through, whether you're just having a tough time and you've gained 5 pounds, you can't stick to, you know, your zero hunger window, you wanna overeat sugar and carbs, Well, wait till you meet Megan B. Murphy. She is incredible. She is a lightning bolt of, of joy, of happiness, of what she calls yay. Her brand new book is amazing, guys. You gotta get this book, but I want you to meet her. She's gonna walk us through some of the basic techniques that you can utilize today, immediately, all this week, all next week, all this month, all of April, and I want you to use it. Now, before we get started, I have to say thank you to our sponsors. A very special thank you to Elemental Labs. Check out these guys because they are giving us a free box of electrolytes. This is how I make on-the-go zero hunger water. This is how we turn off hunger through the proper electrolyte balance, which turns off, uh, cravings for sugar and carbs. This is what I use. My favorite is chocolate, but they have all these varieties. You can kind of custom figure Configure this, uh, at the following link and you get a free box. This is a $45 value when you scroll to the bottom and add a value bundle to the list. Uh, simply go to drink element.com/jorge. Let me spell it for you. That's D-R-I-N-K, L as in Larry, M as in Mary, N as in Nancy, T as in Tom, .com/jorge. Jorge. Check them out, guys. Amazing. This stuff is so good. I use at least 2 or 3 a day when I'm traveling, when I go to the gym, especially if I travel to New York. This is how I turn off my hunger. It's brilliant and delicious. Uh, we're also brought to you by Julian Bakery. Speaking of delicious, these are the treats that I use whether I'm hosting a board game night. We play like, um, one of my favorite games is Poetry for Neanderthals. I'll have my friends come over on a Saturday night and then I put out some chocolate chip cookies or some brownies, but they're always from Julian Bakery because they're sweet but without the sugar. They also have bread, they have everything you could ever want. Check 'em out because they're giving us 10% off for listeners of the Jorge Cruise Podcast with the coupon code Jorge Cruise, all one word, J-O-R-G-E-C-R-U-I-S-E, all one word, all caps. Their website is just julianbakery.com. That's J-U-L-I-A-N-B-A-K-E-R-Y.com. Uh, and finally, we're brought to you by the Zero Hunger Plan. That's my website and, uh, that's where I do my coaching. That's where we host the website as well for the podcast. And I can tell you this, guys, it is really what I hope the start of a revolution. And I know if you're listening to this show, you are part of this. I wanna encourage you to sign up for our Sunday newsletter, which is coming out today. If you haven't gotten it yet, sign up for next Sunday. You get some insider notes, you get links, you get the discount codes. It's literally the best email that comes out every Sunday with highlights of what went on during the week as well and other shows I did. So check that out. Simply go to zerohungerplan.com. That's zerohungerplan.com.

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Alright guys, with that said, it is time to get started. Let's meet Miss Megan.

Welcome everyone to a very, very special podcast. I'm thrilled today to be sitting down with a woman I met a few years ago in New York City and through a dear friend of mine who runs Hearst Publications. And we were at a party with a lot of very well-known people and she and I immediately reconnected. We had actually met prior and she is a lightning bolt, literally. People think I'm a lightning bolt, but I may have some competition. Beautician here today, and she's gorgeous, incredible mom. She's the editor-in-chief of one of my favorite magazines in the world, Woman's Day magazine, that has created kind of like a new vibe during COVID I'll let her tell you that, and then we're going to sit down and talk about her book called The Fully Charged Life. Megan, are you there?

I am. Yay!

Show them the COVID of your book there. I love it.

Here we go.

Check this out.

I have the matching tattoo.

Oh wow, I love it. You know, I have an arrow.

I know, I got a bolt, I got a bolt.

I love it. Uh, Megan, you are an extraordinary— you have an extraordinary history in helping people, helping us men and women, but obviously you've worked with women's magazines most of your career to have a better life. You know, like Oprah says, your best life and all that. And I feel like you You weren't someone who was always your best. You know, you had a really rough beginning in life where you were, what was your nickname in high school? You were like a negative gal. What was it?

Yeah, my nickname was Grumpy as a kid. And I wore a Grumpy necklace from Seven Dwarves. I had Grumpy, like a gold Grumpy charm. And when we wrote our school play in 5th grade, we wrote our own characters and my character was Negi, the embodiment of negativity. I was just a rain cloud. I was a pessimist. Like, I don't want to go to Disney World. It'll be hot. There'll be lines. I don't want to go to the soccer game. I'll probably lose and tear my ACL. I mean, like, I was a rain cloud. Glass was always half empty.

And the glass is always refillable, as you say.

Yes, that's my favorite thing to say. Oh, you did your homework.

I adore it. I learned a little bit. Well, you know, I'm a fan of yours. Tell them about our party. We were with Jane Francisco. We love Jane. Shout out to Jane and Hearst. You work with Jane, obviously. And we were in that beautiful room in that— this is New York City, guys. If you've been to New York, you know there's probably the most beautiful building in all of New York. I'm going to say it's the Hearst Building. Building. How would you describe it? It's like a piece of jewelry.

Oh, it's the tower. It's the tower. And I haven't been back in a year. And now I make the magazine from here. And I took over— so when we were at that party, I was the executive editor of Good Housekeeping. I was the executive editor at Good Housekeeping for 6 years. And then I took over as editor-in-chief of Woman's Day last March, like just as we went into lockdown. So I never cleaned out my Good Housekeeping office. I've never met my new team in person. We've reinvented the magazine via Zoom and Slack and texts and phone calls. And it's been completely nuts.

Well, take a second to tell them what you did because Woman's Day really was, I mean, it's a very well-known publication. I mean, my audience are all 50 and up. You know, I just turned 50. My core audience, you know, it started with Oprah 20+ years ago. So some of them are in their 60s and 70s, but Woman's Day started when, Maggie?

Yeah, I mean, So it's been around, I think, almost 100 years. And my job was to energize it, you know, to fully charge it, to sort of do what I did with the book to the magazine. And I like to call it internally Woman's Yay! But we've really reimagined it as a destination celebration, no holiday left behind, from Taco Tuesday to Easter. And we really want it to feel like a party on every page, a place that's an escape that you can go to find joy, to hear uplifting stories, to get really good, smart health advice, but everything's been fun filtered. So there's always news you can use, but it's been fun filtered so that it's easy, it's actionable, it's digestible, and it just feels good.

I love that fun filter. You know, there's a lot of people use filters to make themselves look better on social media, right? But a fun filter, I mean, I love that. So check out Woman's Day, guys, obviously. And, uh, but let's do this. Tell them about this girl you were back in the day, Negi, right? Yeah. And so Absolutely. I think everyone can relate to having a bad day, but you had beyond a bad day because you were, what, around 16 years old? You had an eating disorder, literally. And, you know, a lot of my audience, we struggle with our weight. You and your mind, I guess, struggled with acceptance of how you looked. Did you think you were fat? How did it go? Take us back to when you were 16 and tell everyone what happened to your friend and what happened to you.

So distance is a great educator. Now that I'm so far removed from that, I understand what was happening. But in the throes of it, I certainly did not. And I think for me that I had a lot of emotion. I had surges of emotion, most of them negative. And in order to quiet that, to quiet these surges of emotions, I stopped eating because it quieted all the emotions. Then I didn't have to cry. I didn't have to rage. I didn't have to feel scared, mad, sad, any of the things.

To what degree, Megan? Like, did you just vomit food? Was it bulimia? What was it?

So I didn't eat. I mean, my best friend and I were what they called tandem anorexics, and we had matching lunchboxes filled with nothing. And we would have, you know, it was back, it was in the '90s, and it would be like rice cakes and diet soda, every flavor of diet soda. Like, treat yourself to a diet orange soda. I mean, it was like ridiculous.

You never had a proper meal during that time period?

No, no. And if I were forced to, I would have purged. If I was forced to sit down—

So you did the finger thing?

If I had to. If I was sat down with a— like if I was like, okay, and everybody was watching me, I would do whatever it took. Would you?

Would you go to the bar?

Laxatives. Yeah, whatever it took. And unfortunately, I was also a competitive soccer player and that caught up with me. So I passed out on the soccer field and eventually was rushed to the hospital and was put in an eating disorder program. And the tragedy there was my friend's parents were bringing her to the hospital to do the same, and she jumped out of the car and didn't survive. So now I'm trying to recover from this raging eating disorder, dealing with the guilt over the loss of my best friend. I mean, I felt really responsible for her death. I had talked to her on the phone and said, "Don't worry, get here, like, you know, we'll get through this program together. No big deal." And she jumped out of the car and passed away.

I mean, that's enough to create— I mean, you know, they say during COVID suicide rates are up by 30%. Women are binge drinking.

Yeah.

Let's get into this book, This Fully Charged Life, because I feel like we need this right now more than ever. I feel like a lot of people may not go through what you went through at 16, but you did. And a lot of people listening are probably in their life right now, you know, 2021 is supposed to be this rebirth. It's spring, spring has sprung. It's getting better. I think I think still a lot of people don't see the glass half full and they don't know it's refillable. So I mean, I had a question to ask you about, and I think this is important because you have a lot of, in the book, a lot of what I would think is, and you have citations, you have millions of citations.

I did a lot of research.

You're not just some happy-go, like let's chant with not knowing why we're chanting. You are like me, all my books have Science.

I'm a service journalist. Like, there's no— like, there's— I, I'm not going to tell you something unless I can tell you why and how.

I love that, because that, for me, you know, you know my— I'm sure you remember my story, and everyone listening knows that I came out as a gay man late in life, in my 30s, because I didn't have the science, and I thought it was a choice. And then I read the science that being gay is not a choice, it's genetics. And then once I had that It was like an aha moment. Same thing with sugar. You know, like when I wrote books on the Belly Factor, I needed the science to understand that sugar and carbs were different macronutrients than fats and proteins and caused insulin to go up. And once I knew that, I had control over that addiction. So, yeah, no, and I wanted to share, like on page 135 of your book, you talk about dressing for what you want to do that day. There's some deep science on that. Could we start with that? Because during the pandemic, I mean, I put on my fancy pants for Ooh, cute! I'm dressed to go to the Hearst Building. Not everyone does that. Some people are dressed to go back to bed. Can you talk to us why that may not be a good idea?

Sure. I call it dopamine dressing and thinking about dressing the way you want to feel. I think I get this from— I have an acting background and I think of clothes as costumes. So when I was at Mason Gross School of the Arts studying acting, I kind of give this analogy. If I were playing a nurse on stage, well, I wouldn't show up in a fireman's costume, right? So like, what life are you showing up for? You showing up for a party or a funeral, right? Because I know for me, when I wear all black, that changes my mood. If I'm wearing bright colors or things that make me feel more joyful, I carry myself differently. We were talking about posture too. It's called embedded cognition. How you carry your body often translates into your mood. If you're hunched over, well, that's what it's telling your mood. You're going to have a down mood. What happens when you stand up straight, put your hands in your back pockets or on your butt cheeks?

Can you lead us through that? Show us through that. So can we do seated or standing?

I mean, I can do it seated. You can do it seated. Just put your, put your back pockets, stick your hands in your back pockets. If not, just put them on your butt cheeks, right? And suddenly your chest opens, your shoulders roll back and down. And think about, just notice how that changes the way you feel.

It feels great. And I think There's so much science on this.

There's so much science that it can actually lift your mood.

Pun on a word here.

It's small.

And clothes and posture. So we dress the way we want to feel. And so let's give them a prescription right now, Megan. You're good at this. You write for magazines all the time. What would be the dress code for someone that right now is, you know, we call the podcast this place where we lose that hunger for wanting more and feeling unhappy and wanting to appreciate today, the science says if we wear what and do what, obviously this, how should we dress at home right now if we're feeling a bit depressed, stressed out, and it makes us want to eat sugar, for example? What could help?

So I think it's, it's very much individual. I notice for myself when I wear pants that button, I carry myself differently than if I'm changing from sweats into sweats. I mean, early in the pandemic, I don't know about everybody else, but I was like, going from pajamas to pajamas and wondering why I didn't feel good. I wasn't drying my hair. I wasn't bothering with a swipe of mascara. I wasn't putting on a fun statement earring. I carry myself differently when I do do those things. I mean, I have giant lightning bolts in my ears. I feel energized by virtue of walking around with this symbol. I feel differently about myself with these big bolts than I would if I didn't bother to blow dry my hair today or put on a swipe of mascara. I wear my pink glasses because I want to see the world in a rosier way. Um, and, and for some people it can be more subtle. Maybe it's just fun socks. My husband, um, is more conservative than me, but if you were to lift up his pants, you're going to see that he has taco socks or hot dogs or pizza or something fun, right? He, he shows his personality and dresses the way he wants to feel from the ankle down.

Well, that's a typical guy for you, but hey, at least he's doing it. Uh, I think it's so important in the book. You also talk about, and this is important, I think, uh, finding your good vibe tribe, right? And, and really these energy vampires. And I've got two questions on this. Sure. We talk about strategies to kind of alleviate that, right? But then what happens— and then only address this maybe after you talk about how to kind of like shed these people— what happens if you can't? Like their family members, their ex-wives, ex-husbands, Uh, they're your own brothers and sisters, like, and you, you know, you've got to love your family. It doesn't mean you live with them anymore, maybe, but you can't say hasta la vista, baby, you know. So talk about these good— the good vibe tribe. Let's start with that first. How do we do that? And then what do we do with the, the—

what do you call the bad, bad vibe tribe, or the vampires, the energy vampires? But I— so I think the first step is just recognizing that energy is contagious. And that when you surround yourself with people who feel like sunshine, you feel sunnier. So just noticing, step 1, noticing how people make you feel, right? Like, if you feel— there are certain people where I just feel prickly around them. I'm like, you know what, their energy and their negativity is awful and it's impacting me. I'm now— have you ever been around those people, like, they're all talking smack and they're negative and they're complaining, and the next thing you know, you're joining the bitch fest, and you're like, wait a second, That's not even how I feel, but somehow I'm getting pulled into this negative vortex.

Oh, 100%. I think it's so common, especially, don't you think, with the pandemic nowadays, everyone's a victim. Everyone. There are no victors.

We're all the hardship Olympics.

Everybody, pardon my French, but we're all like in this fucked up world and everyone feels that. And so you, you feed it, don't you? It's like feeding an animal.

Exactly. And, and that's the thing is negativity loves company, just like misery loves company. So So the first step is to notice how people make you feel. Notice how you feel about yourself in someone else's company. And if that company is elective, opt out, right? Because there are certain people you certainly do not need to spend time with. And I do give a little checklist about friendship questions that you can ask yourself in the book to determine if these relationships are kind of toxic and maybe you do need to opt out. When it's a family member, Okay, you can't control the situation, but you can control your reaction. And if you—

Ooh, I like that. And so, all right, so you're gonna give us some tips on how to, what I call think fit with, what do you call it? When, what do you call that situation when this energy vampire is a family member or an ex-family member, but they're the parent of your kid and you're not married anymore, but you have to make it work for the kid, you know, or whatever it is, you know, because I feel like that happens. It's called life, you know.

I— one of my biggest strategies in life is to just keep smiling because I think it confuses assholes. Um, and I think that can be a very powerful tool in a situation where there's absolutely nothing you can do. This person is connected to you, whether it's by divorce or you share children or custody of a dog, whatever it is. But you can absolutely control your reaction, and you can actually have fun controlling that reaction. I sometimes, with the biggest assholes, my smile gets so huge and you can just see the confusion in their face as you just continue to smile and be unflappable and refuse to choose not to be sucked into their negative vortex.

Not to pick it up, right? Do you remember Wayne Dyer years ago? Wayne Dyer, I became really good friends with him and he always says, just don't pick up the ball. He always said it was like a metaphor of volleyball. And if someone gives you their stuff, their shit, you don't have to pick it up. You can say, well, I understand that you feel depressed or you feel betrayed, or you feel— how would we role play this? Will you role play with me since you're an actress? If I were an asshole and I'm like, Megan, you make me upset. You make me upset.

What would you do? I'd probably like, so I'd be curious about why I made you upset, but I would probably say, Jorge, oh my goodness, it stinks. It must be so hard to feel that way. What is it that I did to make you feel that way?

And smile, of course.

And I'm smiling. Yes.

And I'm like, well, it's just you. You just, you don't get me. You understand. You just don't listen to me.

Well, you know what? You look really cute today. I think whatever you did with your hair is really working for you. I might confuse them with a compliment. That might be my next strategy is like, what positive can I point out? How can I pause to appreciate something about them? How can I reframe the situation and realize it's about them them and it's not me. And as long as I'm being a good human and being kind, that I can't control how they feel about me, but I can control how I treat them. Right.

What do you think on a more serious note, because I've been doing a lot of this reflecting because, you know, I, I'm in, in a place where I have people that I have to maintain a rapport with, you know, and I have done a lot of work. I've been listening to a lot of, uh, I love my Wayne Dyer, but I went back to his stuff from the '70s called The No Limit Person. It was from the 1970s. We're talking 50 years ago, right? And he talks about trying to see things through a perspective, and it's hard, you know, of compassion. And I feel like, you know, people, he always says, he gives this metaphor, like when you squeeze an orange, what do you get out of an orange? Is it apple juice? Is it mango juice? Or is it orange juice? And if you squeeze someone and they get all upset and their anger comes out, right? That's what they have inside. And usually in my head, if I've ever dug into it, I don't know if I don't know if you've done this with certain people that are energy vampires. They do it because they had a messed up childhood or they just, they don't have love in them to share, you know? And so, and that for me has given me solace. I think it's really given me a compassion for them. How can we bring, do you ever offer that to some people in the book or how do you, because sometimes, you know, as much as I want to smile, I also want it to be as honest as possible. And I would smile because I feel like, come on, I'm not upset by this. This, and I get that you're just having— you probably having a rough day, you know, or you've had a— I don't want to go back and talk about you've had a rough life, obviously, but how do you have— how do we— how can we move more compassionate? Does that work, Megan?

I think it's really important to understand that it's never about you, it's about them. Um, I mean, we were just driving, I was picking up my kids from school the other day, and this guy in a Jeep backed into me and then flipped me the bird with my 3 kids in the car. And in that moment I have a choice, right? I can give him the finger back and be like, "Fuck you, you almost ran into me," or I can pause and I can point out to my children like, "He's having a bad day. That's not about us, that's about his bad day. I don't know if his dog died, he tested positive for COVID, I'm not sure, but we did nothing wrong, and so we're going to defuse the situation by not reacting with negativity. We're not going to meet negativity with negativity." We have that choice. It's not productive. It's a waste of our energy. And instead we can diffuse it and move onward.

Yeah, no, I think that's so well said because I feel like it's not about us. It's about them.

No. And it's easy to be reactive, right? Because negativity loves company. It's very easy to just meet negativity with negativity and then let it explode and build and build and build. The best way to diffuse it is by maintaining your own composure, understanding that it's not about you. That's what this, for me, that's the smile. That's my armor. I think of that as my armor. That's my positivity force field. I am absolutely not going to let you infiltrate my good mood or my good day.

Yeah.

And I think that's so important because a lot of times we think it's, it's not as genuine, but I know there's science on this. When we smile, I remember reading about the "Ducan smile." Have you heard of that?

Yeah, that's the fake it till you make it theory, right? Like, I mean, sometimes How many times on your worst day, in your worst mood, in your darkest moment— I mean, do that right now. Like, you feel like you trick your brain.

Yeah.

Oh my gosh.

And the science has shown by doing that, we work muscles, it changes our biochemistry.

Exactly. Yeah.

And it's like doing this. So if we smile—

Oh my gosh. And smile. It's like a dopamine rush, right? I'm like, so I'm so instantly energized and happy.

It's totally the key. And I think if people right now are in a place where they're saying, well, I'll try this. This sounds doable. I think it's doable. What is something that people aren't doing that may be a little less doable, but they should do, Megan, from the book? I want to ask you now, what would you share with us that's in here that maybe is a little more of a climb? Because that's pretty darn easy to smile and put your hands in your pocket, right? But what's something we got to do that's a little more hard work, but we got to do it if we're going to be happy? Sure.

So one of the things I think is we all could potentially use a gratitude adjustment. And, and adopting an attitude of gratitude really is the secret sauce in life. If you are grateful for what you have, who you are, where you come from, you're never going to feel like you're missing out. You're never going to have jealousy. You're never going to have a lot of those other negative emotions. So to me, gratitude is key. And how you can figure out how to practice gratitude with ease— for me, keeping a gratitude diary was never something that worked. It felt very homeworky. So I have a yay list. I ask myself and my family, what made you say yay today? And that's what we do to prioritize positivity and to practice gratitude. The other thing is, is a very simple exercise is simply changing all of your have-tos to get-tos. You don't have to work out, you get to. I mean, that really resonated for me after I got— I was sick with COVID and couldn't move, couldn't get out of bed. And when I was, oh my gosh, now I'm recovered, I get I get to go for a run. I get to hop on a Peloton bike. I get to do those things. I mean, I'll even use that with laundry. I get to do 3 loads of laundry today because my 3 kids got to go to school and go to soccer practice. I don't love doing laundry, but you know what? I get to do that because my kids got to make dirty clothes and I'm happy that they're happy. So that simple mind shift of I don't have to do very many things in life. I get to do a whole lot because for the most part, creating our own lives, right? It's not— you're the engineer.

No, I mean, you have to take responsibility. And I wanted to ask you before— I have one more question I want to ask you, but I just want to take us back a little bit because I know how close you were to your father, to your pop, right? And it was really the catalyst for this book, right? More than anything. Uh, and you called this thing, this hashtag, Operation Good Grief. Which reminds me of Lucy. Good grief, Charlie Brown, right?

Charlie, that's funny.

Do you remember? Yeah. And I feel like losing him led you to what you're doing now for anyone, because I lost my dad just last year, you know, and my sister and I have been going through this grieving process, and she's up in LA and I don't see her as much, and I know she's struggling. She sent me this beautiful book on grief, and you know, you're the Operation Good Grief for anyone out there that, you know, has lost their dad, their mom, or anyone, like physically or from COVID or just is depressed. How did you go from that? How long ago did your dad pass?

So it's been 5 years now. Um, my dad was my person, biggest cheerleader, biggest champion. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and we lost him within 5 months. Never sick a day in his life before that diagnosis and losing him. Um, And I think I'll say this all the time, there's adversity in— there's gifts in all adversity, and it takes some time to unwrap them, but there were a lot of gifts for me. And the bright side, if you will, of a, of a stage 4 cancer diagnosis is that you do get the opportunity to try on the idea of losing that person versus if they're going in a car crash and you never see them again.

And so I went to chemotherapy with my dad one day Hey, it's Jorge, and I just wanted to interrupt the show just for a moment to invite you to head on over and sign up for my Zero Hunger email that'll give you each day a simple what to eat to get radical control over your sugar, carb, and salty snack food cravings. And if this is something you want to conquer and make a lifestyle, the newsletter is important. It will really give you tools tools every day to keep building that momentum to create a lifestyle where you're in control of sugar and carbs. So if that sounds good, check it out. Simply go to zerohungerplan.com. I'll spell it for you, it's with a Z, Z-E-R-O, zerohungerplan.com, and it's all free. I'll see you there.

Let's get back to the show.

And I said, "Dad, I'm not giving up hope. I love you very much, but I want to understand how you want to be remembered. What do you want your legacy to be?" And we had a very deep and meaningful conversation, and he was very clear. He was very clear how he wanted to be remembered. And in that moment, it gave me the opportunity to do the same for myself. I wasn't sick, I wasn't dying, but how did I want to be remembered? What was my purpose? Purpose on this planet. And for me, it really became a legacy of positive energy. I had transformed from neggie over the years into somebody who was much more optimistic, prioritizing positivity, and in a really good place. And so that's when I set out to write this book. And it's all based in positive psychology. It's all based on Martin Seligman's PERMA Theory of Wellness and really taking a lot of the science science behind happiness and making it actionable and fun-filtered and bite-sized so that they're just— so that everybody knows that happiness isn't this like passive thing that you can be. It's this active thing that you can do and you can do it all day long until you move that happiness needle and ultimately start living happy.

And one of my pillars to zero hunger, I always tell people, you know, obviously you have to eat fit and there's strategies to calm down hunger and especially addictions to sugar and carbs, which we all get. But then I always say the second pillar is move fit. And that is this idea that movement makes us feel good. And I know you are like me, a trainer. Uh, and I know that's an unusual title for you to have being that you're a big time New York City editor and chief of many magazines. I mean, how many magazines over your career already? More than 5 or 4.

I don't— so YM, Teen People, Lifetime, Cosmopolitan, Self, Good Housekeeping, 7, Woman's Day. And I was the fitness director and deputy editor of Self magazine for 9 years. So I mean, I, I've been, I think I've been a certified trainer now 17 years. Movement is part of the health charge. Recovering from my eating disorder made me realize that movement is medicine and that food is fuel. And so when I was able to start to make that shift, exercise became non-negotiable for me. I don't feel good unless I move my body. It really is, is it's medicine for me. So I will always prioritize movement.

Would you tell us, uh, your day in the life, Megan? Because I feel like you wake up as early as I do and tell them how early, at least when it's a good day, you don't sleep in and then take us through your day and how you make this non-negotiable. Because a lot of people said, all right, because I wrote the book 20 years ago called 8 Minutes in the Morning. You know, that's something on the map. Oprah covered It was huge. 16 Languages was a big deal. I was in my— I was 29 when that book came out. Now I'm 50. So it was 20 years ago. So I know movement is powerful, but I also know for me it's now about mental health. It's not about weight loss. I know eating healthfully, you can't out-train a poor diet, I always say. But take us through your day when you go up and tell us why it's so important what you do. Because you have that— I almost feel like you— I don't know if it's an hour, but you have some time to yourself before the crazy starts, right? You have some coffee time. Call it. So tell us when you go to bed and then start the day. How does that work? What time are you in bed by?

So I go to bed— I feel like everyone should sleep train themselves the way you sleep train a child. So I'm very routine-oriented around sleep. I go to bed at 10:17, really no later. Yeah. I start to get like angsty if it's like getting to be 10:15 and my teeth aren't brushed and I haven't shut off. I like to shut off. Off by 10:17 because I like to wake up at 5:03. And I don't need to set an alarm because I've sleep trained to do that. Once in a while—

And there's science in that, Megan, because I feel like no one talks about this.

Oh yeah, no. So I, and I talk about it in the Health Charge of Your Fully Charged Life. So the thing about sleep training is simply creating routine and like monitoring your circadian rhythms. For me, 10:17 to 5:03 is my rhythm. That rhythm is different for everyone, but the key is maintaining a rhythm. So if your rhythm is, I go to bed at 1 AM and I sleep till, you know, 11 AM, that's fine. Maintain that rhythm. It's about maintaining a routine.

Even on the weekends, Saturdays, Sundays, like how do you do it?

You shouldn't. If you need to catch up on sleep on the weekend, then you're not getting enough sleep during the week because there's no such thing as catch up, right? I make I sleep till 6 or 7. I mean, like, and when I say sleep, I mean, I might lay in bed. The kids might come in for cuddles. Um, I don't have to spring out of bed to hit the gym at 5:03, but I'm not sleeping till 7 or 8 or 9 or 10. I'm just not.

Um, but then take us through the day. So you wake up at 5:03, you wake up at— what happens in the day? Tell us, walk us through your morning.

So I go down. So for instance, today, then I'll pop downstairs, you know, throw in an espresso and throw on my gym clothes downstairs so I don't wake up the whole house. I leave the house by 5:17 and then I hit— I drive to SLT, is one of the only gyms that's open for me right now, which is the Megaformer. So I do that 2 mornings a week at 5:00 AM. And that is, you know, it's like Pilates on crack. I find it's the one thing after having 3 kids that really gets my obliques tight.

What's it called again?

SLT. Strength— it stands for Strength and Lengthen and Tone. It's like Lagree Fitness. It's on a Megaformer. I call it Pilates on crack. Um, it's the one thing that just changes the shape of my body. It's hard and it's exhausting, but it works. You can't cheat. And I love being around other people. So right now it's 5 people in a class, socially distanced, with masks, wiping down the machines. Temperature checks, the whole thing. It looks a lot different right now, but it is just, it's one of my favorite ways to work out. So I'll be back from—

Do you get your coffee? I remember in the book you talked about getting coffee at your Starbucks and knowing your barista and like, like cheers, right? Everyone knows your name.

I love the cheers effect.

Is that after the workout?

So I, I have a coffee at home before, and then when I get back, um, my husband and I during quarantine have started making a pot of coffee because now our office is our home. So it's almost like a water cooler, like when we make a big pot of coffee and we sit around and have a pot of coffee, which is— that's new. But then I have 3 kids to get moving. So I'm making everybody breakfast and my daughter—

You're home by what time?

What time are you home by? 5— then I'm home by like 6:53. Sometimes I'll stop and get quick groceries, like if we're out of eggs or we're out of milk or we're out of bread for sandwiches. But I like to get home because then I can have my first cup of coffee and it's quiet.

And then I, then I got to wake everybody up and I say, "Is your husband with the kids?" Or who's with the kids in that time in the morning?

He's home, but everybody's sleeping. Everybody sleeps till 7:15. Then I go walk around the house going, "Rise and shine like the stars you are." And I let the dog jump on everybody's beds and everybody moans and groans because I'm the only morning person in the house. And then they come down in their school uniforms that they're in Catholic school now because of the pandemic. It's an all-day program that we put them And so then they come down and I'm feeding everybody, packing lunches, getting the dog ready, getting backpacks, all the things. Then I drop them off at school. And then I come back and I start work on the magazine. And I like to work— I like to start work by 8:30. That way, you know, my team is not quite starting by then. And so— but I can kind of get my stuff done. And then I'm working on the magazine. I'm also working on the book launch stuff and doing interviews in between. Like doing this podcast right now. I have my own podcast. I have a lot of TV appearances, so sometimes I'm prepping for a TV segment. My day looks different every day because there's just, you know, I have— I'm juggling several jobs and 3 kids, so it's a lot. And then I pick up my kids. I have to leave to get the kids at 2:55, and then they come home, and, and that's a tough— that's a tough time for me because I'm pulled in a lot of different directions. Because I got to start homework and I got to unpack their backpacks and I got to— maybe somebody's going to have soccer or maybe somebody wants a playdate. We don't have any help, so there's no babysitter, there's no carpool.

It's all just you and your husband's at the house.

Yeah.

Is he more traditional? He's just focused, or does he pop in?

No, he's an amazing— he does all the cooking. So like, we have different, like, we have different strengths and weaknesses. He does, like, he does the lacrosse signups and he coaches lacrosse, and I do, you know, the doctor's appointments and the those kind of signups. And, you know, he takes the dog to the groomer and he buys the dog. Like, we sort of— we're a team. Like, we call ourselves Team Murphy, and everybody has different strengths and weaknesses and different roles and different, you know, positions on the team. That's so smart. It's madness. It's madness. And then my husband cooks a nice dinner, and then it's homework and baths and story time, and then I'll probably be working again. And on a good day, then I get to sit on the couch and maybe watch Broadchurch with my husband. But, you know, it's— the days are busy and they're hard, but I'm grateful.

And then by 7:17, you're freaking out if you're not in bed. But what time do you get back? 10:17. You start brushing— or 10:17. When do you start brushing teeth? Like 10:00 probably, right?

You know, I don't have much of a routine. Like, I'm not a beauty girl. Like, I don't have 17 face creams.

I don't have—

soap and water. It's just sort of like, it's Cetaphil, toothbrush, done.

And for the ladies that have husbands like you, when do you have time for intimacy and how do you keep that alive? Because you got, I mean, you got a house full. This is a topic you probably don't talk about, but—

Oh yeah, no, I don't mind. I was a Cosmo editor. I was a Cosmo editor.

So let's talk some sex here, please, as he's outside the door.

Um, no, the, the good news is now that we both work from home, there's just opportunities.

Daytime sex? No.

Yeah. Oh, as I knock my yay balloon off the wall. Yeah, yeah. There's just, there's, there's new opportunities, different opportunities.

So that's more of a daytime activity now. Yeah.

Well, yes, he, he loves workout pants.

Oh, I love that because that's important, right? Because I feel like if you don't have that with your family and your husband, it can, you know, it can be something that is forgotten, right?

It's crucial. And I think it's like a sex routine is sort of like a workout routine. You have to sort of prime the pump. It's like the more you do it, the more you want it, and then your body just starts to crave it. So you have to kind of create a habit around it.

Yeah, no, I feel like a lot of my clients, because they've lost their libido— I've had celebrity clients I've worked with that had that. I've had a lot of people that just seem, you know, when you're overweight, you tend to lose your drive and everything. And when you get healthy and take good care of yourself, that may come back. And there's a guilt for anyone that feels like, oh my God, I can't believe they're talking about sex right now. Why isn't that a guilty thing? I mean, you were, you were in Cosmo and that was a theme of sorts. Not that Woman's Day doesn't talk about sex.

When I went from Cosmo to, to Self magazine, the way I positioned myself as the perfect person for the fitness director job was basically like, well, exercise is the same thing as sex. It's a how-to with a physical payoff, right? You're moving your body to feel better.

Yeah.

Same thing.

Well, it's hard.

People, I think sex becomes polarizing, right? It just becomes this thing that sometimes we think is, is not that, you know, and, uh, yeah, I feel like can cause people issues. Any advice on how not to feel guilty about having sex?

I think, well, oh my goodness. I don't, I hate to think that people would feel guilty. I think the key is, is to understand that it's an expression of love, not just for the other person, but for yourself. And it's, it's a, it's an expression of love. It's a beautiful thing. And it has all kinds of amazing physiological and emotional benefits.

It's huge. I remember I used to work with Dr. Christiane Northrup from Dartmouth. Do you remember her?

Mm-hmm.

She did all those PBS specials and she would talk about how a woman's orgasm, you know, would cause all these endorphins and all these, uh, there was a word she used to say, nitric oxide or something. And it just keeps you young and happy. And I feel like, thank God for her, Dr. Northrup, because, you know, and she was a gynecologist. I think she even worked with Oprah for years on the show. And I feel like everyone poo-pooed it. They're like, no, you're this provocative, crazy woman from Dartmouth. But I don't think that's crazy. And, um, and I think movement is power.

Yeah. It's a huge relief and it's necessary. And it's, it's a way of connection, connecting, um, and expressing love. It's pretty great.

Yeah. Well, before we wrap up, because I feel like this book is so important and it's an audiobook as well, because I know some people are like, ah, I just don't have time to read a book. I'd rather listen to podcasts.

People have been working out with me. So a lot of people have said that they got the book on Audible and they've been taking it on their walks, and that was really special to me because I, you know, it was a really emotional process to record the book, to just be able to say my words out loud for the first time. And I had just— it was day 16 of my COVID recovery, and they almost had to hire a narrator to read the story, and I said to Penguin Random House, and my agent, I'm like, over my dead body. I would rather there not be an audiobook than have a narrator tell my life story and share this advice. And so I rallied, and it was very emotional for me. It was really, really special. It was just— it was everything.

Yeah, I know. I feel like when I've done books like that, you know, that were the right books for audio, it's just so more meaningful. People want to have that experience with you. I always kind of— I'm bummed out when an author has someone someone read it for them because I feel like it's less intimate and I want to get to know the author, you know? And I feel like if people want that, they can do that with you. Uh, tell them some of your resources, Megan. You have an incredible Instagram. Obviously you have an incredible magazine, but start with your Instagram. Tell us about where they can find you at Woman's Day and how you're in there every— is it every month still?

Yeah, we have 10 issues a year. We have a combined June, um, July and a combined Maybe it's just a combined June, July, so 11 issues. So Instagram is @MeghanBMurphy with all the letters, M-E-G-H-A-N-B-Murphy. And then I do something called the Yay List, which is just a feel-good community where I share really fun and uplifting stories and people who I call yay humans living their best lives. And then magazine, Woman's Day is— it's still the number one selling magazine on newsstands. I'm very excited. The, the egg mosaic cover for April is pretty epic, and I'm really excited. I'm shipping tomorrow the May issue, which I'm really, really proud of. So, um, do you have a sneak peek of April's issue?

Can you show it to us or no? Yes, pick it up. A premiere. This is an exclusive drum roll.

Make spring sing.

Oh, what's going to be in there that you're so excited for? Give us a tiny What I love, this is one of my favorite things.

Well, we have something called the Smile File, which is just excuses to celebrate every day. So we really own the national holidays. So we're gonna tell you like, okay, let me give you one of them. Oh, we do a really fun April Fool's joke too that I need to do for my kids.

I love it.

We took chocolate eggs and put grapes inside and rewrapped them so that when you open them, they're grapes.

No way, right? You're like, what is this?

That will drive you nuts. Oh, this is my favorite. Okay, so April 23rd, it's National Talk Like Shakespeare Day, and we, we give you ways to talk like Shakespeare on National Shakespeare Day. If you're searching for a lost item, you can say, oh, keys, keys, wherefore art thou, keys? Or if you're sitting in the theater, you can say, to pee or not to pee? That is the question.

I mean, you gotta subscribe to this magazine because I feel like you guys— I mean, that's why they brought you on board. I'm sure Jane brought you on board to really give it, I don't know, something more meaningful. Because I feel like there's a lot of women's magazines out there, and this really is— how did you guys say it? I wrote it down. It was a destination celebration, right?

It was when I was, when I was sitting down to reimagine this magazine at this, the height of lockdown I really tried to create a magazine that I needed, and what I needed was just to punctuate some really scary days with joy and understand that celebrating wasn't frivolous, it was necessary. When there was nothing to look forward to, how could we create things to anticipate, to prioritize fun, and to understand that life could be okay, and that maybe Taco Tuesday was— if that's the only thing you're looking forward to, maybe it's a great thing. I mean, National Chit and Talk Like Shakespeare Day, like, I'm totally gonna do that because it's just so funny.

I love it, I love it. And that's coming out in newsstands what date? Uh, the April 2nd?

I think it's probably like any second. Perfect. Probably. I just got the advanced copy, so like any second.

How exciting. And do you like working from home or is that kind of bizarre?

I don't miss commuting, I have to say. I don't miss like getting—

You used to commute every day?

Every day. Yeah, I know. Oh, that's my dog trying to bust down the door.

Okay, well, you have a full house here, to say the least.

Do you have a bit of a full house? But no fish, so that's good.

What— to end on this, I always like to ask, uh, when I ask, uh, when we do a great interview, at the end, a quote. One of your favorite quotes that obviously are positive or necessary right now. How would you leave us?

Oh, I'm a quote machine. I think I think one of my favorites, like if just a quick, if it was a quick mantra versus a full quote, what I say to my kids nonstop is, "Stay in your day." And that's just about practicing being present and realizing that if you pause and you ground yourself, you can have enough bandwidth to take the next positive action step forward.

I love that, stay in your day. That is so simple.

My kids, stay in your day. We know, Mom, stay in your day.

And for someone says, eh, I don't know how or what, what do you tell them? What's the reply back?

Like, I mean, I have gotten to the point where I'll take off my shoes, feel my feet on the rug. I will lay down under my standing desk. I will go outside and feel the grass between my toes to literally ground myself and to literally understand that everything I'm worrying about are the what-ifs, not the what-now. And all you can really handle is the what-now, not the what-ifs.

I love that. When I used to live in Malibu, there's a place called SunLife Organics. It's like a really chic, uh, Jamba Juice. And they have this really cool logo on the floor. It says, "Be here now." Yes, exactly.

Same thing.

And it's that, it's that be present, be in the moment. And I think that's all we got, right? I mean, I hate to be such a a reminder of thoughts, but I've learned at age 50 right now, be in the moment. As much as things were bad in the past, it's in the past. Like The Lion King always says, that monkey in The Lion King, remember he's like, "It's in the past." Then the future, you can worry about all that, but I think the future comes from the present. Right, Megan?

Exactly. Yeah.

I love it.

Practice being present.

Yeah. Well, you are a present, a gift to us for this book, and I think this is the most beautiful thing you've done. I've known you for So many years, I feel like, and seeing you again when in New York, it was like a tease. I saw you here and there. I'd always be visiting Jane or someone over at Prevention Magazine. And now, I mean, I'm glad that happened because that hasn't happened for us in over a year now. And any plans to be moving back to the city or have you guys not decided yet?

You know, there's, there's some talk that after July 4th, some people will return to work. I don't know what that looks like for me, cuz my kids will be outta school for the summer. Um, you know, just going to be a challenging re-entry.

Yeah, and commuting, yikes. But you know what, I know if anyone's going to do it with the right flair and the right energy, it'll be you as always. And Megan, I can't thank you enough for your time this morning.

All right, today's episode is complete, guys. Thank you so much for listening, and I want to ask you to please subscribe to the show on Apple Apple Podcast, uh, and please leave a review on Apple as well. Give it 5 stars if you think the show has helped you in some way to transform your thinking. I hope it has. And more importantly, share your comments, your review of what today's episode did for your thinking and what you got out of it, because I think that is how we spread this. And for me, this is a revolution. This is not a podcast, this is a way of life. And I hope to transform over a million lives in the next couple years, and I need your help. So please become part of the Zero Hunger Revolution by leaving that review on Apple Podcasts and subscribing today. Thanks so much.

Have a great one.

Peace and purpose, and I'll see you on the next episode.