Episode 089: The Power of Yet Overcoming Self Doubt

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All right. Welcome back for another episode of the Fleet Success Show. I'm your host, Josh Turley, running a little solo episode today. Hope you all had a happy New Year and enjoyed your holiday season. Recording out of my home studio today, so it's going to be a little bit different. Hopefully I don't mess up the levels too much for my producer Tim. But hopefully, you know, you enjoyed your New Year and you're kind of ready. You're coming into 2023 and you're kind of like, you're, you're ready, you're engaged. He said like, I'm focused. I got things I want to get done this year, right? Um, as I've been reflecting on, you know, like what I wanted to talk about today, I've had a couple people ask me, is like, well, how's it going? You know, how are you doing at work? How are things happening at work? Um, and a lot of them, you know, they'll ask, well, what's like the hardest part of your job, right? And, and some of it, you know, they say, oh well, you're just a CEO. And man, we get a bad rap. There's so many crappy CEOs out there. I don't know how we do this. You know, but they get the rap of like, well, they're lazy, or they don't— they're out of touch. They don't, you know, they're not engaged. They don't really do hard work. I saw one, this, you know, this poor gal, she was on Twitter and she was talking about, you know, how difficult her day was. And, you know, she's sitting there live tweeting her day, and you're like, you know, your job is really not that hard, right? Like, it's just, you know, you're not out sweating in the cold or dealing with snow or anything like that. You'd have a desk job, right? You're a white-collar worker. So it's not difficult in that, that type of realm, you know, where you're doing a lot of hard work with your hands. Um, maybe it's different for me, I don't know, because, because I've been there and I've done that work. I still do some of that work, right? Like, I love working on my own truck. Um, you know, there's something, uh, I don't know what the right word is for it, but there's just some kind of fulfillment you get out of doing things and building things with your own hands that I think a lot of people miss out on, especially in today's age, and maybe especially in the Twitter generation. But as I was watching the reaction to this, this gal and her video was just— the reaction was, wow, you are so out of touch and you have no idea how hard it is to work and do all that. So I definitely don't want to make light of that, that, you know, there's a lot of people doing a lot of hard work you know, like hard physical work out there. Uh, and so, you know, I want to acknowledge that, but you know, as I think about like what are the hardest things that I do or what's the hardest part of my job for me personally, and maybe that's what this is, right? Like this is, this is the thing I struggle with the most in my position. Um, you know, I think the, the thing that really gets me is, and that's not really imposter syndrome, what's the right word for it? Disappointment, maybe. Like, that's the thing I have the hardest time dealing with. So I think about, like, you know, what's the hardest part of my job? It sucks. It sucks to miss goals. Like, when you, you know, you don't hit the goal— you had this great ambitious goal at the beginning of 2022, uh, and you miss it, right? Like, it sucks to do that. Um, and I'm thinking about that as we're, like, getting ready for 2023. You know, there's New Year's resolutions that, that I had from last year that I totally whiffed on. You know, here's a highlight. I lost like 50 pounds in the middle of the year and it was amazing. And then since, you know, probably August, September-ish, I have put all 50 pounds back on, right? It's just, you know, like those are, those are kind of the sucky parts of the job. It sucks to let people go. You know, if you've ever sat down across the table from somebody and had to terminate them, it sucks to do that. And guess what? As the owner of the company, I do that more often than anybody, right? I usually don't kick that duty down to my managers because it's just not something that I feel like they should have to deal with. Now, ooh, now that's a note for me for later, is that maybe I should have them doing that just so I can prepare them for it. But I think that's also part of my work ethic as well, is right, like I don't like giving them the dirty jobs. I want to do the dirty jobs. As much as I hate it, I want to do the dirty job. Uh, but maybe I'm holding them back. That's going to be a note for myself for some self-improvement later. Um, man, you know what? The, the, one of the things I really hate about my job is hiring. Uh, it's, it's probably one of the most difficult, most, um, just obnoxiously tedious, you know, coordinating schedules, going through interviews. You meet some wonderful people, but I'm an introvert and going through and having those same conversations over and over again. Uh, getting ghosted, um, having to make the decision of like, well, maybe this person versus this person, you know, like it's just, it's, it's, um, well, I'm gonna come up with the right word later, but I want to say strenuous. It's mentally taxing. Uh, it's probably the best way to say it, right? That's not physically taxing, but mentally you're just like, I get out of interview season, you know, we have an open position like we do right now. Uh, and I'm just like, oh, I never want to go through that again. I'm just so tired of dealing with it. Um, and so that often leads to the other side, which is it sucks to let people go because you know you're going to have to hire again for that position. Uh, so I know we all, we avoid pain like that, right? We avoid firing people and letting people go, even though it's the right thing for them and it's the right thing for us. We avoid it because, you know, like, honestly, I, I really don't like going through the hiring process and having to make that guess of, is this person really going to work out? Right? And all that goes to say is like, you know, like I don't enjoy disappointment in my role. Like, I don't enjoy missing things. I love the success, and trust me, like, we've won a ton this last year. It's been amazing. But handling disappointment, especially in light of like principles I've learned from Extreme Ownership, which is that, you know, if somebody's not panning out or they're not getting the job done, guess whose fault that is? Well, it's mine, right? And so like going through that is, you know, it's tough. It's tough to sit there and just constantly beat yourself down and be like, I should be doing better as a leader and I should not— I really suck at this part of the job, right? Um, I will tell you another area that is tough is having to constantly repeat yourself, right? And this is just a part of the job. If you want to be a leader, guess what? You had better be ready to repeat yourself because people need to hear it, uh, and they will only get, you know, maybe 20% of what you're saying at any one time because they've got their own noise, they have their own filters going on. And so you have to constantly repeat yourself because every time you repeat yourself, they're going to pick up a different 20%, they're going to pick up a different element of what you're saying. And you got to say it in different ways too. I actually just had this conversation with one of my other managers was that as she's having hard conversations, it's not enough just to, to have that conversation once and think that you're done. You've got to have that conversation every day. And then, because they're not getting it right, like they're not hearing you, because again, they only pick up 20% of what you say, you've got to repeat yourself in different ways. And in this case, you know, I encouraged her to, hey, you need to follow up with an email, bullet list everything you just talked about, that you thought you were crystal clear on, put that in an email, put it in writing, right? And, and the writing isn't so much as a, like, we're going to make this a formal thing. It's, hey, you know, it's sometimes it's easier for people to digest something when they can see it on a screen or they can read through it and reread it a couple different times until it's like, oh, now I get it, right? And so, yeah, that's part of the job. Like, you just got to repeat yourself over and over. No, it's— you're working with, uh, you know, just big grown kids sometimes, right? I think we're all kind in that, that environment where we're just grown-up kids. Um, so yeah, having to repeat yourself, not a fun thing, not a fun part of the job. Uh, doing things you don't really enjoy, you know, I've just mentioned several of them, uh, but guess what? You're the boss. The buck stops with you. So you gotta do it. Um, for example, one of the things that I'm dealing with right now, right, is budget season. So we've gone through and we've been setting up budgets for next year. And I will tell you is that like I love spreadsheets and I enjoy working with numbers. I hate budgeting. It is one of the like just it's so frustrating. You're sitting here trying to get all the numbers working, um, you know, you're trying to collect all the different data from different sources and you're trying to make it all work and it's really frustrating, you know, to get the budgets working and get the spreadsheets working correctly and the formulas when they break. Having to go fix them 500 times because, you know, like, Excel is just hard, uh, for some people. So, uh, like, those are things that you just get to do because you're the boss and nobody else can do them or nobody else will do them, right? Like, the buck stops with you and it's got to get done. Um, like, those are just things that you got to go do. One of the things I struggle— and these are all things I struggle with— um, the one thing I struggle with probably the most, uh, is, is overwhelm, right? Just being overwhelmed by vision. Um, anybody in my company will tell you is I'm fairly visionary. Like, I have great ideas and I can think and I can see a brighter, better future. Um, and I can see myself and I can see my company and I could see us doing great things, right? Uh, where I'm not as great at is like the follow-through and the tactic, you know, tactical, uh, tenacity. Is probably the right way to say it, of like, yeah, let's get the boots on the ground and let's just go do it, right? And so, you know, and my wife actually makes fun of me all the time for this because it's like, oh yeah, here you go, you know, you're gonna go out and you're gonna get this thing or do that thing and it's gonna last for about 2 or 3 months and then, right, like the inertia and the excitement is over and you move on to the next thing. And that's just part of, you know, like that's part of being a visionary, I guess. But it feels overwhelming is because I have all these ideas that I want to do but I don't have the time or the capacity or the energy to do them all when I want to do them, right? And so what ends up happening is I sit here and I go through all those things, right? And I think, like, I should enjoy hiring people. I should enjoy— yeah, maybe not enjoy letting them go, but I should enjoy having hard conversations and, and helping people get better. Um, I should, you know, be able to handle disappointment better than I do. Right, and I start what we call, you know, I'm gonna give a shout out to my friend Casey Graham. He talks about shoulding all over your business, right? And I think we do this personally, is we should all over ourselves. We should all over our roles. We should all over who we are, right? We should on ourselves. And yes, it's supposed to sound like you think it sounds. And it creates this like loop, these negative self-talk loop that we go through, right, where I say, you know, I'm not a great leader because a great leader would deliver results consistently, and a great leader would accomplish goals, and a great leader would hire the right people and fire the wrong ones, and they would coach really well, and they'd be, you know, just like the best boss that anybody has ever had instead of just a so-so mediocre boss. And I'm just a so-so mediocre boss, right? And I get in these loops, I get in these little negative self-talk loops, and I think we all do it, right? We're fleet managers, we're technicians, It doesn't matter. We all do it, right? Because why? Well, we're people. We're people and we have these, these funny little nuances for dealing with disappointment and negative emotions. And negative self-talk is one of those things that we do. I mean, shoot, we'll all say, you know, I'm not a great father, right? Well, it doesn't matter what my job is. If I say that, I just, you know, if I'm a dad, there are things that I wish I could do better as a dad, right? Or I wish I handled better. Or there's a situation I could handle better. You know, my daughter, you know, she's struggling with social media right now, and so we're going through that and trying to figure out, well, how do I help her make good choices without parental involvement, right? And how do I, how do I help teach her correct principles so that she can govern herself? Um, and I'm just not good at that right now. This is the key. We can sit here And we can say and have all these negative self-tracks and say all these things that we just, you know, want to believe about ourselves and shit all over ourselves. There's a key word that I think is really important. We all need to adopt more. Um, and whenever you find yourself in that negative self-talk loop where you're saying, you know, I'm just not good at this, or I'm just, you know, like I'm just not good at being the leader I need to be, or I'm just not good at being the fleet manager I need to be. I'm just not good at being the father I need to be, right? I'm not a good father. The keyword that I want you to add anytime you find yourself giving yourself that same negative self-talk, the keyword I want you to add is yet, right? And so at the end of every one of those little statements, just put a little comma and then a yet. And what that has the effect of doing is you say things like, you know, I'm not a good father yet. But I will be, right? I'm not a great fleet manager yet, but I will be. I'm not a great CEO yet, but I will be. It gives you the promise of hope. It gives you the permission to say, you know what, I'm not doing a great job right now, but that's okay because somebody else in the same situation, you know, a year into their tenure, 5 years into the tenure, 20 years into their tenure, I know that tomorrow I can be a better version of the person I am today. Yet takes those negative self-talks and it gives it like, hey, yeah, but the story's not over yet, right? Like we're in Act 2 and you're thinking that, you know, like this is it, this is the finale. We're not there yet, right? We still have more journey to go through. And as we take this journey, as we go on these steps, we still have more power. We still have more, more growth to go through. So anytime you go through, right, those things might be true. You might be a bad CEO. Uh, you might have some issues that you need to work on, but they aren't going to be true forever. Right? So just always be thinking about that as like, do I need to add yet to the end of this? I'm not a great leader yet. I'm not a great fleet manager yet. I may never be a great budgeter. But if I tell myself that, I won't be. But if I say, I'm not a great budgeter yet, but I could be, what it does is it helps me remember if I put the time in and if I focus on this. And you know, as we're setting our goals for next year, this is one of those moments where you say, what are the things I need to add yet to? And I could focus on that over the next year, over the next month, over the next week. Today, right, that I can go through and I can focus on to remove the yet so that I can say I am a good father, yet there's still more to do, right? You can see how powerful that word can be. So as you think about setting your goals, think about those things that you aren't great at yet. Um, and then my other last piece of advice with that is, as you set those goals Man, I've been seeing so many studies come out about New Year's resolutions and how quick people fail at them. And I'll tell you what, yes, it's very difficult. And the reason is because you have a year-long goal and we are natural procrastinators. Break it out, right? I love having a year-long goal, but think about what are you going to do this month? And then what does that look like this week? And then what does that look like today? Right? In software, we usually deliver software in, uh, you know, cycles, and we call them sprints, uh, that last anywhere from a week to 2 weeks. But if you were to chunk it down, you know, chunk your goal down to where it's like, well, what do I need to get done this week to be a better father? What do we need to get done this week to be a better leader and a better fleet manager, right? Like, what's the one thing? And just focus on that, and pretty soon you're gonna find that your, your negative self-talk goes from being that I'm not a great fleet manager yet to I'm a better fleet manager today than I was yesterday, than I was last week, than it was last month, than it was last year. And yet there's still more to go, right? So with that, just keep in mind the power of the word yet when you find yourself in those negative situations on these dark winter days. Just remember that it's not over, right? And there's plenty, plenty plenty of opportunity for growth. Nothing's absolute, nothing's finite. You have all the potential in the world to be good at the things you want to be good at. It just takes time and it takes energy, right? And so, yet, yet your way through your negative self-talk tracks. And then focus, right? Short sprints, short sprints show momentum. I love little short sprints. You know, break your goals down into micro steps so you can see the progress, so you can see the power of yet in your life. That's going to do it for us today. Hope you all had a great New Year, great holiday. Looking forward to a great 2023 with the rest of you. I'd love to hear from you if you have any suggestions, topics you'd like us to hit. I think we've got one more coming up on PMs. You can email us at podcast@rtafleet.com. We've got the Fleet Success Summit coming up. So if you're not a great leader yet, or if you're not a great fleet manager yet, You want to learn more about what you can do? Trust me, the Fleet Success Summit is gonna change your life, right? There's 12 speakers out there. They're gonna— each one of them, guaranteed you're gonna come away with something from one of them. So go to fleetsuccesssummit.com. It's gonna be in March at the Luxor. And until next time, we'll see you later.

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