Content Creation is Affecting My Relationships | How to Create Without Oversharing.

When I started posting videos, I wasn't just posting for the sake of creating content. I was also posting to try to find a sense of community that I couldn't find in school. I had all these ideas and thoughts I wanted to share to others, but I never really felt like I had anyone in real life that would want to listen or would be interested. So I would like start leaning to social media to kind of find that community. I recently came across a blog post that talked about why we sometimes share a lot of ourselves online, and it really called me out, really exposed me in the sense that it helped me reflect on why I sometimes can overshare on the internet. The root cause of it being relationships and connections, or rather the lack of them in real life. Growing up, I never really had a lot of close friends, so that left me searching for attention or validation in other areas such as the internet. When I started posting videos, I wasn't just posting for the sake of creating content. I was also posting to try to find a sense of community that I couldn't find in school. I had all these ideas and, and thoughts I wanted to share to others, but never really felt like I had anyone in real life that would want to listen or would be interested. And so that— so I would like start leaning to social media to kind of find that community, and I ended up forming a community there, and it felt me— made me feel so happy. You know, starting social media at a very young age I kind of naturally started tying my self-worth to the number of views and likes I got. And when I had a lot of likes and a spike of views, I instantly feel really good about myself, and you know, that would boost my mood. But then the opposite of when a video didn't perform well, or I feel like no one was really engaging with it, that made me feel really, you know, sad and again really like kind of empty. Now even though now I feel like I have like friends that I know that I can count on and rely on and I have like people's support. Even though like I no longer feel like I need to just turn to social media for all of that, there are still times where I do feel lonely or misunderstood and really feel like an outsider. So that's when I lean towards social media to kind of cheer me up. I think a part of this is because I'm naturally introverted, so I prefer spending time by myself and like doing my own things over socializing. Even though I am trying to get better at like, you know, just going out there, meeting with friends, catching up with people, it definitely takes a little bit more energy on my end. And I would honestly rather just stay in my room or like go out somewhere on my own and like film my own content. And then whenever I'd post this content and I'd get all this like, all this like hi from people on the internet, that would like, that would fill up my cup. And so I wouldn't really feel like I need to seek out those like in-person connections because I'm already like full of like happiness from all like the support I get online. But that's the thing, like relying on, on people, on like strangers on the internet for like this validation isn't always the best, the best thing. Real life connections are so much more important, which is why I want to really talk about this, this topic today of trying to find the balance of creating content but also strengthening those in-person connections. So not making content creation really consume your life and make you forget about the most important things in your life, which are the people closest to you, your family and friends. Recently I've had some friends tell me that some of my content is a little too much and that I need to be like focusing less on creating content and more on strengthening the connections I have with people in real life. And this really made me think about how I present myself online and what kind of persona am I giving out to people before they even meet me. Like I feel like sometimes I may come across as this like overly productive person or like all she's doing is focusing on work, like, you know, productivity, like nonstop doing everything, but that's not really the reality. And so I'm kind of just thinking about, okay, so what, what kind of persona am I giving out to people? And is this persona inspiring others? Or like, what is it? What is it really doing? Pretty much what I kind of just want to say is I feel like I've been focusing too much on content and like this, this online world and not really connecting with people in real life, which is something that is definitely a little bit more uncomfortable for me. Like even when I was younger, like The first ever videos I created was like these gaming videos and I was like playing games and I was like forming these, like I had this community online. And so I'm very comfortable with forming connections online, but it's just a little bit harder and definitely a little bit more of a challenge to make those in-person connections. And that's something I really need to hone in on and improve on. And so I'm really glad these friends gave me this feedback. Because ever since then I feel like I have been a little bit more like, you know, going to more events. I feel like I've been more, you know, trying to help a little bit more people. Like I feel like I've always been so solo in my projects. I've always done things on my own and I never really took the time to like help others in their like journeys and their projects. And recently I've really just been trying to lend as much of a hand as I can to like many of my friends and focus on helping them achieve their goals and not just my own goals. Okay, so now how do we find that balance? Let's get into some, some strategies and like some tips I've been considering myself, and hopefully these are helpful for you. Some of these are common knowledge, but genuinely, like, once you hear all of these, you're going to be like, oh yeah, that makes sense. But be like, even me, like, thinking about all these tips, I realize they're common sense, but I actually haven't realized how important they are. Like, sometimes we can forget about even the most like easiest things. So the first thing to thing to consider is define what aspects you want to share with others. It's good to know which aspects or which type of content you even want to share or which content you're comfortable with sharing early on. And this of course can be very different from person to person. You know, you, for instance, you may want to focus on just your professional journey and keep your dating life off limits. I feel like establishing those boundaries early on will really help you feel more secure in your content and whenever you do get like this external, you know, feedback from others. It won't mess with your brain. You're going to be like, well, I have these boundaries, like, I know this is what I want to do, so I'm like, I'm fine with it. So for example, for me, I definitely want to keep my friendships and future dating life, whenever that will come, um, off limits. When I'm with friends or my significant other, I definitely want to focus on the moment with them, and I don't want to worry about having to like record or having to like take out my camera or phone. I just feel like that really ruins the whole kind of moment, and it really just doesn't let me live in the present. In the past, I've had this like motto where, you know, if I didn't record it, it wasn't real. But now I'm realizing that like, that's such like an immature thing to say. Like, if I didn't— like, it's the opposite now. Like, if I did record it, then just— then I didn't really live it, you know? Like, I feel like recording just takes away so much of your time. And so if you can separate some of your content with your real life and try to find this like line of like, okay, when should I be recording? When should I be like actually living my life? Then it just makes things a little bit easier. Now of course I'm not saying that I wouldn't ever wanna show off my friends or like, you know, my significant other. I feel like I really do wanna show off the people I care about, but it's not gonna be like the central aspect of everything of my whole content. A really great example I have is, you know, I'm following this Instagram creator, called Film with Colleen, and she pretty much shares a lot of these, like, you know, life advice, these like short, like, inspirational videos giving like tips. She recently posted an engagement post. She was pretty much like saying, hey, I'm engaged. And it's crazy because like none of us, like none of her followers even knew she was dating anyone. And she recently mentioned that she really is trying to like keep that away from like the audience. This is not something she wants to like share. Sometimes is going to, like, you know, like her engagements, she's going to celebrate it and introduce it, but it's not going to be like the central thing she shares. That's something that I would definitely want to do as well. Like, I wouldn't want, you know, my dating life to be like plastered on the internet everywhere for everyone to know. I really like how she kind of focuses on like this niche in this area, this one area. Okay, so the next tip is focusing on value. When creating content, really think about what value does it bring to a person. Unless you're some kind of like famous person, people don't really normally care what you're doing like in a day-to-day. So thinking about, okay, so this content I'm making, how is this content bringing some sort of value? Is it sharing some kind of lesson? Is it giving some sort of advice? Is it helping some sort of people in any way? Hey guys, I'm about to go get a haircut, but I'm not as nervous for the haircut as I am for filming it. I'm gonna be bringing this tripod and we'll be filming the hairstylist cutting my hair, which I'm so nervous for because I usually don't film like— like, I film in public, but like, not usually. I try like to avoid filming with other people, but I'm actually gonna have to do it because I just want to share this experience. Because this is not just a haircut, guys. This is like, like a whole like hairstyle redo. I'm getting bangs right here, like, um I feel like— okay, this is a little too extreme, I feel like, maybe for me. But like, there's like— this one. Yeah, like this, or like there's like— I feel cute in this one. Yeah, I'll do it. You never want your content to be a form of showing off. You always want it to make someone feel good. There's so much content out there, so how can your content make one person feel feel better about themselves. Like, that's definitely something I want to— I want my content— I want my content to feel good. I want my content to feel like it inspires someone. I never want it to be this form of comparison or like jealousy or anything. And of course you won't be able to please everyone, but yeah, try your best to focus on value when you're posting anything. So for example, I really want to focus on sharing the current stage of life I'm in, which is internships. Internships are a huge part of my life right now. I'm going into my third one, and so I really want to make sure I document those as much as I can because I know so many students are in a similar place. So I'm going to be going to BC soon, and I'm going to be doing an internship in BC series. And I'm also going to be doing this living alone series on my YouTube video— on my YouTube channel, showing people how it's like to be living alone in a new city for the first time. And so these two types of series, hopefully they can comfort, inspire, and help someone out— else out who's in a very similar stage of life. Either they're working in a new in a new company as an intern, or they're living alone for the first time, like kind of creating some sort of like comfort and, you know, like some kind of like relatability and, you know, sharing all the ups and downs, being real with you guys. And I'm really excited about that. Guys, I'm back. Uh, what do you guys think? I definitely like, like it. I mean, it's different. I'm going to have to like get used to it, but I think it's cute. Cute. Like, I think it's pretty cute. Looks nice. Tip number 3 is to engage with your audience. Social media is a very two-way street, believe it or not. Yes, you're, you're, you're the one posting all the content, but there comes a point where you're not only posting for yourself, you're posting for other people to interact with. So really just trying to engage with your audience as much as you can, you know, take that step to, you know, support other creators, comment other people's posts, Send messages to your followers, you know, reply to their DMs and really make them feel seen and heard because they're the ones who are watching your content. They're the ones you wanna try to impress at the end of the day. You really wanna make sure you're on like a very similar level with your audience. So never try to feel like you're above anyone else and really just try to keep to the same level and make them feel like they're appreciated. Because what ends up happening is, you know, as you grow as a content creator, a lot of the opportunities you end up getting it's thanks to the people who are watching your videos. Like they're the ones who are helping you get these opportunities, these collabs and these partnerships. Your viewers are the ones to thank. So making sure you are really interacting with them as much as you can and appreciating their feedback and making them feel like they're part of your journey. Hey guys, so I just finished filming my first piece of UGC content. It took me a little longer than expected, around 2 hours, just because I was running into some difficulties with the, uh, the brand I was promoting, but I was promoting this really cool product. It's called Shepherd.Study. It pretty much helps create flashcards for you, study notes, and makes studying so much easier. So I filmed some phone footage with that. I'm just going to upload it to Google Drive and send it to the agency, and they're going to edit it for me. And yeah, hopefully it turns out well. But I'm going to be heading out soon to university because I'm going to be going to this event, and I'm going to be meeting up with with. There's going to be like a speaker, the vice president of engineering at Shopify. I'm going to be meeting— he's going to be presenting and I will try to talk with him and try to film an interview video with him. So that's going to be the plan for the rest of the day. To be honest, I think after that I'm going to be— I'll go to the movie theaters. I want to watch a movie because I really feel like just eating some popcorn and watching a movie. So yeah, that's what Next is keeping it real and moving away from perfection. Every single one of us has some sort of perfectionism in them, and everyone wants to be perfect. And especially since there's so much content out there, like you're seeing so many talented, amazing creators producing such high-quality videos, like such edited, well-done, pretty much like films. And it's so incredible to see. And sometimes that can, can be intimidating in a sense that you feel like you're not living up to the expectations of social media, or you feel like your content is not gonna be good enough, or it may not be the most well edited. And you should really maximize it on, like hone in on being imperfect, being scrappy, being just, being real. Like we're not trying to make Hollywood movies here. We're really just trying to share what we love to do. And so be authentic and don't feel like you always need to be, to produce some sort of like, well, like professional, video with like amazing lighting. Guys, I just finished doing some work and now I'm in this balcony area just checking it out. You guys, it's actually insane. I can see the full city down from here— up from here, I mean. So gorgeous. But yeah, now I'm heading to the campus to go to this talk. I already came up with questions I'm gonna ask the VP of engineering, so hopefully I can film a video with him. I'm really excited. So yeah, let's go! Yes, try your best to, you know, make it as good of quality as possible, but also make it imperfect. Being imperfect on the internet is so much more— so underrated and should be— more people should be doing it, you know? Like, just, yeah, just have fun with it. Like, don't be perfect. Everyone's trying to strive for that. So showing others that it's okay to be, to be silly and to be scrappy, that like, that brings so much more comfort. And that shows other people that they can do it too. Like, you don't need to have like crazy equipment, you don't have to have crazy editing skills or like a huge like production team to, to post something on the internet. You can do it on your own with just a phone in your room, and that's, that's enough. That's honestly and people still would love to see that. So don't worry about perfection. Let's make the internet and social media a place with imperfections because those are definitely very undervalued. Hey guys, so I just finished with the event and luckily I was able to interview Farhan, which is so, so great. It actually turned out really well because right after the event ended He had to leave, so I'm really glad I did it before everyone came because there's so many people. But now I am doing exactly what I wanted to do, which is go watch a movie at Princess Cinemas with some popcorn. I've been like craving that like all day. So yeah, I'm gonna end off the day with a very nice movie and it's gonna be really great. So the last little tip I have is to just kind of reflect on your growth and And also being okay with pivoting. If you start posting some sort of like content about something and you realize that, you know, this is something you're not really interested in, don't feel pressured and like don't feel like you need to continue it for the sake of like other people. At the end of the day, content creation should be a hobby. It should be something that you genuinely enjoy doing, you know, followers and fame aside, or like money aside. This is something you really need to love doing because a lot of the times it's like, to be honest, it's very hard to make it a full-time job and it's gonna take years and years of consistent work and luck to even get big. So you have to make sure you are doing it for the right reasons. And this right reason is because you genuinely love it. Like I was recently learning about intrinsic and extrinsic motivation in my psychology class and With content creation, like, if there was like no likes attached to it, there is no like fame or no money attached to it, would you still be doing it just because you like it? If dropping all those things you wouldn't, then you should rethink why you're even doing it, because you really have to do it from like your truest— like, you have to do it because you genuinely love it, everything aside. Reflecting on growth too. So an example I have with kind of not being afraid to pick pivot is if you guys scroll through my channel, you, you probably noticed that I started off with a lot of fitness and food content. That's something I built my audience around and something I've been, you know, I was doing, but I realized that I no longer find interest in that anymore. And so I recently pivoted to more like internship, school, different— I actually don't even know what kind of, kind of niche I'm in right now. I'm still trying to figure that out, but you notice that I'm no longer filming a lot of those videos and And it's, and that's okay. Like, I feel like that's, you know, as you're growing as a person, it's normal to like, you know, change interests. It's normal to change like hobbies. So yeah, things you want to talk about. So it's completely okay. And you know, the more you post, the more you realize that people are going to start watching you for, for you, not for the type of things you do, but for you as a person. They're going to like you as a person, no matter what you do. And seriously, don't overthink it. Just have fun with it. Experiment with it, post as much as you can. Eventually you will find your niche, your community within the creator economy, and everything's gonna go turn out really well. And I believe in every one of you, and you guys all deserve to, to share online. Like, there's no criteria of who should be a content creator. Literally go out, have fun, share whatever you want, and, and you will inspire others for sure. So yeah, thank you so much for watching this video. I had really fun talking about this topic. I guess I'll see you guys in the next one. Bye everyone!