MASSIVE CHEAT WEEK ON VACATION! | Eating Everything I Want & Opening Up About Body Insecurities

Thank you for waiting at the— It's been 3 full years since my family and I traveled anywhere outside of Canada, and it's been a tradition of ours to go somewhere warm and tropical every single year. But of course COVID had to stop that from happening. Luckily though, time flew by like crazy, and here we are 3 years later flying far away from this cold climate to the beautiful beach. Now I was particularly excited for this trip to happen because I was finally going to have new and exciting content to film for you guys. What I Eat in a Weeks and Week in My Life are fun but I've hit a point where filming them has become slightly boring and repetitive because I'm basically eating the same food and doing the same things. And I'm someone who wants to seek new opportunities and change no matter how much I'm scared of it, because that is the one thing I know will make my life fulfilling and busy. So basically, I was extra happy for this vacation. I want to present to you my most exciting video yet, my ultimate massive cheat week of over, I'd say, 5,000 calories in tropical paradise.

Thank you.

Bye.

Kaputamu shorty, manyo pocos though.

The point of this vacation isn't to eat less, to try to lose weight. It's to indulge and eat freely without calorie goals in mind and without strict macro considerations. When it comes to traveling, it's about experiencing everything to the fullest and really having this "I might only see this once" mindset. Now, of course, with that said, it's still important for me to integrate the health and fitness habits I built because We're all about living a healthy, sustainable, and balanced lifestyle anywhere we go. I'm also going to be opening up about how real body insecurities can be. As someone who hasn't worn a bikini in what feels like a very long time, it felt embarrassing and almost unsettling to be wearing one. In fact, last summer I would always wear a a two-piece bathing suit with shorts because I didn't see my body being bikini approved. I tell myself I wear a bikini only when I tone up, lose a bit of belly fat, cellulite, but that day never came. At least in my eyes, it never came. However, there needs to come a time where I just choose to accept my body for what it is today, and I think this trip really challenged me to do just that. So I even think that having the body insecurities I had was something I needed to experience to help take me to step of my self-love and body acceptance journey. It pushed me into discomfort, and I've consistently said that discomfort really is the key to growth. You could sit here and watch countless and countless of videos like mine inspiring and motivating you to love yourself, to help reassure you that you are in fact enough. But that won't be enough. There will come a time when your progress will come to a halt. You'll hit the stage where just consuming positive information will not be the solution to all your problems. That's when you'll need to seek opportunities like mine. Going to a nice restaurant, instead of wearing your usual casual outfit of jeans and a sweatshirt, challenge yourself to wear a more out of the comfort zone outfit. Maybe step substitute a shirt with a crop top. In my case, going into this vacation, I wanted to switch my usual one-piece bikini into a two-piece bikini. It was weirdly enough scary at times. There were so many moments, so many days where I just wanted to cover myself up in a towel, sit under the shade, and hide myself from the public eye. Those were my bad body image days, but those days will pass, and days where you walk alongside the water feeling super confident will eventually happen. They will. Weight loss is something I've been wanting all my life. Whenever I feel down, whenever I feel like I'm not enough, I see weight loss as a solution. I've convinced myself that the only way I would truly enjoy this vacation is to look good, to look lean, fit, to look absolutely perfect. And this This mindset is what held me back. When am I going to realize that looks should be the last thing on my mind? Yes, I should take care of my body. I should look put together. But by wanting to lose weight when I'm already at a healthy size is not taking care of my body. Why is it that when it comes to how we look, we are so good at living in the present? We say things like, I don't look good right now. I want to lose weight right now. It's now or never. But when it comes to the good things that we should live in the present before, like family, friends, deep conversations, and once-in-a-lifetime experiences, we put less emphasis on those things. I was definitely self-conscious walking around the resort at times. I feel like the prettier girls were judging me, but I keep forgetting that my weight and how I look is the last thing on others' minds. I feel like for the most part, we are living in a very individualistic society, and so it's all about the eye. We think about ourselves much too often to have others on our minds, unless it's your crush, of course. So next time you're in public and feel like all eyes are on you, you feel like you're not good enough amongst others, remember that others might be feeling the same way. Now, because this is a tea week of me eating very differently to how I do back home, it's only fair for me to talk about all the dishes I'm having. I do want to say, while there was a versatile selection of foods to choose from, after the first day they were basically serving the same foods. It was still very good, but I definitely missed my peanut butter oatmeal. And as much as it was fun trying out all the different plates of Cuban meals, homemade meals just hit different. And after a few days, I started missing the freedom I had making my own food.

But I'm not complaining.

Everything was still so nicely prepared and put together. And I especially love dinner because there was always a nice wide selection of different proteins such as fish. My favorite sea creature would have to be the calamari, which is squid.

It sounds weird, but it was actually really good. It kind of tastes like rubber, but rubber with flavor, if you guys get what I mean.

We need to detach our worth from the way we look because at the end of the day, looks are so subjective. As much as I want everyone to find me pretty, that's not going to happen because beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. And once I have accepted the fact that I'm not going to be a preference for everyone, once I I stopped trying to people-please my way into every social interaction. Only then did I feel that I could truly be myself. You don't need to impress others to feel accepted. You don't need to have that ideal physique to wear a bikini. You don't need to wear makeup so boys start to like you. You don't need to cut calories just for the sake that summer is coming up.

I want to go to New York.

I found that when I did something not for me but to impress others, I was never satisfied. When I began doing things for me, I felt so much more free, and I think people can sense that. Do you, be you, and you'll attract the right crowd.

Oh my God!

I've talked about body insecurities and feeling self-conscious with my weight, but I haven't much talked about face insecurities. And I want to touch on that because out of everything else, my face has always been something I felt most embarrassed of. And one of the reasons for this is while I know that I can change my body to some extent, I can't really change my face. I can't change the features I have. I don't want to bring myself down, but I don't think I have the most attractive face out there. I have a pretty big nose, small lips, weird-looking eyebrows. I have pimples here and a birthmark there. Essentially, I'm not someone you'll see on a big billboard in town square.

Yeah, you're in tomorrow.

I don't have these fascinating features, and I've been learning to accept that, but it's been super hard, and I always find myself comparing other people's faces to mine, and that's hurt That's damaging behavior. To be honest, I think I get more bad face image days than I do bad body image days. Sometimes all I want to do is walk around with my face fully covered or not go out at all if I'm feeling extra insecure. Now that we're on the topic of face insecurities, let's talk a bit about makeup. I'm not a makeup wearer, as you can tell. I rarely put it on, and if I do, it's just a bit of mascara and concealer. But I remember as a kid, I wanted to get into makeup so badly, I would constantly constantly beg my parents to take me makeup shopping. I wanted my eyebrows done, I wanted an eyelash lift, I even wanted lip filler.

Can you believe that?

But of course that never happened. My parents would always say no. They said I didn't need it. At the time, I didn't understand why they wouldn't let me. I kept telling them that my friends wore makeup, so why couldn't I? I wanted to feel more confident. I wanted to feel pretty. And when my parents said no, I thought they were doing me a disfavor. They didn't want me to look good. But now I I'm so thankful that they kept telling me no. I'm so glad they didn't end up buying me makeup when I was younger, because by not putting it on then, I don't have a habit of putting it on now. I don't rely on makeup to make me feel good about myself. Now, I'm not against wearing makeup. I think it can be such a great confidence booster for sure, and I can definitely see myself putting it on when going to events. But by not wearing makeup, I've learned to live with my natural face. And when I do get face insecurities, my solution is isn't to cover myself up with products, but to just brush it off and reassure myself that these insecurities are in my mind. And by reorienting my attention away from them, will I soon forget I even had them in the first place.

No place to call home now, but I'm sleeping so sound when you stick around. Grew out of our hometown because the city's so loud. Let's go on a drive out to see what the life—

Everyone, so we're heading to breakfast. It's the morning, super hungry. I'm excited to see what we're gonna have for breakfast. I might grab some pancakes and then also cereal. I haven't tried the cereal yet, looks pretty pretty good. It's day 3. It's day 3.

It's day 4.

It's our 3rd full day here and we still have 3 more days to go.

2 more days to go.

4 more days to go. So bad at math, as you can tell.

Funny story, so while I was eating, 2 girls were watching me in the distance, which I mean, I would too if I saw a big camera with a tripod at a table. It's definitely something not many people see on a daily, so yeah, it was kind of awkward, but it's something I'll need to adjust to if I want to continue producing travel videos for you guys.

Mmm, that's some good jam.

For lunch, we went to the snack bar near the pool and I ordered a cheese and ham sandwich with fries. There was barely any cheese or ham in the sandwich, so it was just me eating bread, but It was so good. And then for dinner, we had an absolute masterpiece. My dad's friend Alex is a pro fisher, and he caught a beautiful fish that the Cuban chef were kind enough to cook for him. And they also decorated very well, and it was really good. It tasted pretty nice, actually. During our stay at the resort, there was always something fun going on at night. There were shows, games, and fun activities you could participate in, and the performances there were just spectacular. The dancers were all super talented. Good morning, you guys!

So today we woke up pretty decently early, 7 o'clock. Usually we— well, so far we've woken up at around 8, but yeah, today we woke up earlier. We're gonna go to the beach and just kind of enjoy the peace and quiet and the sound of the waves, and we're gonna drop our towels off, and then we might take some cute photos, and then yeah, head down to breakfast. I'm gonna get lots of pancakes today. I wanted to get pancakes yesterday, but but they're all out of them. So today we're going to be up there a little bit earlier and hopefully we'll get some pancakes and try them out.

I've naturally always struggled with how I look. I wish I could just wake up one day and fully love myself to the core. But by wanting that so badly, it's doing the opposite. When I begin to put such a big emphasis on looks to dictate my worth, I'm making myself feel worse. I need to learn to accept that I'm not always going to feel on top of the world. I may not always feel and look beautiful. My hair will be greasy, I may have more blemishes one day. There are times when I'm going to feel more bloated, less put together, and that's okay. That shouldn't make us feel less. Who you are as a person always outwins how you look. Your internal character is a representation of your external character. As hard as it is to wrap your mind around this, how you look is the last thing people care about. At least the last thing the right people care about. When you pass away, people won't remember you for how pretty you were. They'll remember you for how you made them feel, for what you did, who you helped and inspired. Now I'm not saying you have to completely stop taking care of your body and appearance, but don't make it a baseline for your worth. You're worth more than just the outside.

Turns out they're lonely just the same.

At this moment, you may feel like you're never going to find self-confidence, body acceptance, and love, but it's not instant. Take me— while I still have a long way to go in learning how to be kinder to myself I've definitely seen major improvements. I'm a lot more confident than I was 5, 3, and even 1 year ago. So while you think you're not improving, while you think your mindset isn't changing, it is. It's just changing bit by bit. Keep your head up high. It's only looking up from here. It's only going to get better. This is honestly the best vanilla ice cream I've ever had. Now usually I'm not a I'm not a huge fan of vanilla ice cream, but this is so good.

Cookies and cream.

Cookies.

Cookies McFlurry. I don't know.

Strawberry with chocolate.

So while I was editing this whole video, I'm actually a bit shocked with how much I've been eating. It almost feels like all I was doing was eating. There's just always so much food on my plate, and I feel like my portion sizes are gigantic compared to other people's. But that's just a comparison that's not doing me any good. So what if I'm eating more food than my sister or the people at the next table? If that amount of food makes me feel satiated and full, then it shouldn't matter how other people are eating. Another evening show. This time there was some kind of dance party going on. My sister Natalie and I were on the sideline watching because we were a bit shy to involve ourselves, but it was really fun to observe. The acrobats were so skilled and a guy was dancing with fire. That was insane to watch up close. Sad and unfortunate thing is, is I know that when I look back to this vacation in a few years, I'm going to realize that I actually didn't look bad and all the insecurities I was pointing out to at the time weren't even there. Those those insecurities were in my head and I was stressing myself over them for no reason. And because every moment will pass anyways, why not spend it finding things we love about ourselves, acknowledging them? For instance, I love the freckles on my nose, I love my smile, my teeth, I love the color of my eyes. And even better, begin to acknowledge things beyond the superficial. This morning I had a filling breakfast with French toast, and then after that we went on a very long walk to explore beyond resort with the whole family. We stumbled upon a few snakes, which I actually got to hold, and Alex also took us to a freaking bat cave. Seeing bats in real life and up close was a first for me. Acknowledge and pay attention to the beauty around you. Throughout this vacation, sometimes I felt like I spent more time focusing on myself than I did the environment around me, the nature I don't see often. If I could just forget about me and focus on my surroundings, focus on the people who mean the most to me, focus on the experiences, it would make things so much more peaceful. Not having body insecurities would make life so much easier, but what is life if it's easy? Having insecurities is completely normal.

It's human nature.

We shouldn't shun them. We should accept that they're there and just learn how to to move past them, learn how to be okay with them, learn how to control and minimize them. Alex also taught us fishing. It was too calm of an activity for me, but it was cool to try out. Desserts here were probably my favorite. They're all very unique, and because each one was pretty bite-sized and there were also lots to choose from, I always ended up taking more than one. And actually, today we had desserts before having dinner. Grandma would not approve, but they're too good not to eat right away.

Delicious!

Yummy!

It's a little bit bitter. It's good.

It's good.

It's good.

Hey guys, so we went snake hunting with my dad's friend yesterday and we were lucky enough to catch 2 snakes. They're both pretty small.

And so we put them in this container and then we just kept them overnight.

So now we're actually gonna go and let them go, but let's just open it up and I'll hold it for you guys. We'll see it. The container smells really bad. It smells like fish, but okay. This is the first snake. So cute. Okay, now let's grab the other one. The other one is actually a little bit bigger.

It's so much easier not to judge your body when you hide it all day long. That's why I love sweats and sweatpants so much. I don't see my figure. I don't see my tummy rolls. I don't see my flabby giant arms or big thighs.

It's easier.

But by hiding my body, I'm not learning self-acceptance. I'm not growing to appreciate it. Oh no, oh no. Oh my God. Hey guys, so it's the last day of our Cuba vacation, and to finish off this nice holiday, we're going to go and take some photos at the beach. I have to take some photos for my thumbnail, and that's about it. Then we're gonna dress up for our last dinner here in Cuba. There's a quote from a book called The Subtle Art of Not Giving an F, and it goes like this: The avoidance of suffering is a form of suffering. The avoidance of struggle is a struggle. The denial of failure is a failure. Hiding what is shameful is itself a form of shame. So instead of hiding parts of yourself, fall in love with every inch and you'll soon realize there was nothing wrong with it in the first place.

Okay, okay.

The more I focus on the things I hate about myself, the more I go away from actually learning to love my body. If you want to genuinely find self-love, continuous negative talk is not the solution. Also, instead of chasing a bikini body this summer, chase a healthy and strong body, a body that will allow you to enjoy your vacation to the fullest. A body filled with energy that will carry you throughout your countless adventures, both big and small.

Chili.

You sure you want some? Yes, say hi.

Hola.

Hi.

You look good.

What is new?

Well, I look, I look over here.

Left.

Is it okay if you're on YouTube?

Okay.

Don't wait for someone else to start loving you and your body. Don't wait for someone else's approval. Win over your own approval. Your own approval is the one you need to chase. Once you approve yourself, then you'll find the right people, the people that are destined to be in your life, will also also approve you for just the way you are. Vacations are fun, don't get me wrong. I had a really great time. But when a vacation comes with a need to wear something other than sweats and sweatpants, that's when I get the most self-conscious. That's when I enter a state of comparison. It's when the little voice in my head tells me, maybe you should eat less today. Maybe you should just stop eating altogether. Go on a little fast. I've had many of those thoughts in Cuba. And while thank goodness I didn't listen to them, still, that little voice in my head just wouldn't shut the fuck up.

Good morning everyone! So it is not even 6 AM and we just woke up. We're leaving the resort right now.

Our bus comes at around—

I don't even know when, like maybe 6, somewhere close to 6 AM. Am, so we're gonna be heading out. It's time to go back to real life and time to go back to our daily routines. And yeah, honestly kind of excited to go home. I kind of miss everything in Canada, so I'm not too sad to leave.

Another truth bomb: I don't like wearing a bikini. I don't feel beautiful enough to expose that much skin. Throughout the trip, I realized that I'm still not confident and comfortable with the way I look. I thought I finally reached a state of body acceptance a state of infinite self-love, but clearly a habit.

Shows, TV shows.

Oh, TV shows!

And I hope there one day comes a time when I and many others become at peace with how they look, because here comes another truth bomb: we're all sexy, strong, incredible, gorgeous, and badass. So let's aim to show this energy wherever we go.

But it feels right. Is this what it feels like?