Coaches Council Podcast Episode 19: Winning with Men in Business with Purdeep Sangha

But i wasn't happy inside and i literally just got up one day and i quit i was done with it men don't know what it's like to be a man these days am i being too masculine am i not being masculine enough so i really talk about and really teach the principles of becoming a mindful alpha male.

This is the coaches council made up of six elite coaches dedicated to serving and ending personal struggle for high performers in business health and relationships as a collective we have built and helped build six seven and eight figure businesses dominate in multiple industries coached and played in professional sports leagues and developed some of the strongest and most intimate relationships both professional and personal this isn't your average podcast it's for the hungry the dedicated the doers for those that have a dream and truly want that dream to become reality people who want to take action leave their ego at the door and own every level of their life if that's you then step into the coach's council as we rewrite the truths to living that.

High performance life.

Welcome back to another week of the coaches council special week this week and it's meet the coach and we're starting off with pradeep sanga and pradeep thank you so much for.

Coming on today hey man i guess i'm the lucky one i'm the first one out of the group isn't it.

Hey you know what it's hey somebody always has to be the first guy.

Yeah the guinea pig i don't mind.

So pradeep as we've kind of built this relationship and as we've continued to develop the coach's counsel it's always been a pleasure talking with you it's very rare that you meet people in this world and in this space that you connect with on such a deep level in such a short period of time and that's something that i feel you and i have been able to do and i really value and cherish that and your story is so unique and your story is so powerful from understanding where you came from and what really pushes you and pulls you as your why and what your purpose is and i'd love to just have you share.

That a little bit yeah absolutely so where do i start man i can start right at the beginning so basically i grew up in a small town colonial british columbia justin you know what i'm talking about because you know you're born and were you born in canada were you born in the us no.

I was born in canada i was born in edmonton so about six hours eight hours i guess east of you there in kelowna but that is the definition of god's country yeah yeah kelowna.

Is an awesome i kind of feel bad for you growing up in edmonton it's a nice place but it gets cold doesn't it oh my god i.

Can'T tell you how many times in the winter we would see minus forty on the temperature gauge i remember i've.

Been to edmonton a number of times in calgary and going there in the winter it's like your snot literally just freezes as you're breathing it's hilarious snot sickles they have a name yeah but i grew up in a small town my parents were immigrants from india my parents immigrated over in the early seventies you can say they were probably the hardest working people i know justin they literally worked their butts off because they came here with little skill and they they basically raised my brother and i to have a really good life a half decent life so i grew up on an orchard so my parents what they did was they actually worked in an orchard when they came here and they would i literally my brother and i would be in an apple bin sometimes as my parents would be working so we had a really different environment you can say i literally grew up spending some days just by myself in the orchard eight to ten twelve hours a day just with trees and nature and seeing the blossoms bloom so i kind of grew up i kind of feel like it was a lucky childhood my wife laughs because she's like that was kind of slave labor because i was nine years old when i first started working but it taught me a lot of different things and then my parents said you know what you get an education we don't want you to be working hard in the orchard so the three chosen paths for a path for an immigrant family from india where either a doctor lawyer or an engineer those are the three things so i started off actually in the sciences i was actually in biochemy university and my plan was to be a doctor but it just wasn't for me i can't see blood i can't see people physically hurting it's just not my thing and so i switched over into business and i spent you can say the rest of my career in business i was in the corporate world for fourteen years i rose to the ranks in terms of becoming an executive and i was very successful my goal is to be a ceo of a major corporation and so i had this plan and i worked my butt off to excel in this plan i led pretty much every major division from marketing to sales to operations to project management so so many different areas basically because i wanted to get a full breadth and scope of a large corporation how do you really grow a big business but then it kind of came to a halt because i was miserable man i was absolutely miserable my wife and i were actually and i hear so many people talk about similar story because i see so many executives in the same boat now where my wife and i were having serious challenges we were on the verge of divorce i was not the man that i wanted to be i was not happy by any means i was kind of going in and living the motions i was making the money i was traveling i had an expense account we had box tickets to private events here at the arena so we could do that we would go see the maple leafs all the time toronto raptors and entertain friends and all that kind of fun stuff but i wasn't happy inside and i literally just got up one day and i quit i was done with it and i my wife was like are you serious you're gonna do this and i was just i was like yeah i'm gonna do this and i think at first she thought i was joking but then she's like i see this in your eyes you are going to do this aren't you and i said yeah so then i walked into work and i said you know it's about time i move on and some of the people at work were questioning the decision they're like what happened did you get hurt did you fall did you hit your head like seriously all of these scenarios came out and even my parents said to me they're like what are you doing you're just throwing away the last fourteen years of your life you were this close to hitting your goal because my goal was to be a ceo of a major corporation at forty that was my goal and i was well known in the industry i was just kind of known as the mover and shaker but i just wasn't for and i wanted to do something more and this is why we talk about meaning so much at the coach's council and having a bigger vision and a bigger purpose is i was always one to seek meaning in my life i was always one to figure out okay why am i put here on earth and it just so happens that one of my passions is helping people i was a tutor in high school i was a personal trainer at seventeen and i just continued that you can say path i was managing people at the age of sixteen and that was my passion throughout my life and as i was an executive i was also coaching other people on the side i was coaching other executives i was coaching other coaching entrepreneurs and i soon realized that there's a lot of people out there that are in business that just don't have the skills and they were never taught the skills whether through the academic path or just or other training to really grow businesses effectively and so what came natural to me was actually really it wasn't natural to them so i soon figured out that there was a niche out there and so i said i'm going to do this full time i jumped into it full force and my goal was to really focus on the business side you can say the business strategies and tactics because i want to be known as a business guy i was coaching both men and women at that time which was how i started off but then i kept getting nudged into this other corner and i kept getting these these doors kept opening up and it was working specifically with men and i wasn't in that realm i didn't want to really focus specifically on men but then i realized that i had this natural connection and i was able to bring things out of men i was able to talk to men about certain aspects of life about relationships about their drive and this all honestly stems from my father because my father was a very powerful man he was an ex police officer as well and he you know when he came a room he had like total presence like you knew he was in the room he was six one he was two hundred and forty pounds plus he had this turban on that people would call the satellite because it's so big and so he was this tall dude right and this big guy and so when he walked in he was just total presence but he was a super softy as well like he was just one of the most loving people i know so i got to see both sides of him but the challenge i saw with my dad who was also a business owner was he suffered from alcoholism and it was not pretty at times because when you have a six one guy that's drinking past his limits and he had his own crap to deal with when he was younger sometimes he would become you can say not the nicest person in life and i never take that away from him because i knew outside of drinking alcohol he was an awesome dad i saw this polar side to him which was really interesting but it drove me to figure out what the male psyche is about why do men do certain things and that led into relationships and that led into so many different aspects but i saw my dad challenge on again on paper he seemed he had it all right he had a loving beautiful wife he had two young kids we were always good kids he had a business traveled never had any of those you could say major challenges in life but he was never fulfilled and so that led me into this path that i'm in right now which is helping men specifically so you know if you're watching this you see the shirt men who win that's really the movement that we're creating because right now at this particular time justin i know it's a long winded story but you know this better than a lot of people is men are in a really tough spot right now because men are taught to be a certain way men don't know what it's like to be a man these days am i being too masculine and am i not being masculine enough you know what's this whole thing about emotions and then you have crappy leadership like you know i'm not going to mention any one political person in general that are giving men a bad rap but we are just not i'm going to say made like we were used to not like the older generation where we lived off of integrity values right honesty all of these kinds of things that a true leader is about so i really talk about and really teach the principles of becoming a mindful alpha male which is being in control of your life from the standpoint of being able to create it you can never be in control of your situations you can be in control of yourself and how you respond to those situations so you can actually maneuver effectively but then there's also the mindfulness aspect and if i could equate it to anything it'd be like rambo on one side and then the dalai lama on the other side and so it's a blend in terms of trying to take the best of both worlds and integrate that into the lives that we live today because we as men need to be strong leaders for our family we need to be strong leaders for our children we need to be strong leaders for our community for the workplace especially in business but i see such a lack of that especially right now when we see covid is i'm wondering like where are the men that are standing up to help other people in society to stand up against all of this negativity that people are spreading to stand up and say guys we got this right we can get through this we just got to band together on this aspect of so in a nutshell what i basically do right now is help men in two aspects i help men in business so i help them from a business strategy standpoint and the tactics to really grow and scale their business but then i also help them on the other side which is you can say the neuroscience behind mindset the emotional intelligence component high performance all of these kinds of things as well as to a certain degree spirituality that we bring into this as well so it's really helping men live a more fulfilling life and really get what they want out of it that's a long that's a long spiel there isn't it you.

Know what i hit mute and unmute a couple times i was like okay this is great no let him go let him go that's on a roll but no it's such a powerful story though pradeep because it's so true and being a male i can pull from my story on that on so many levels and it's so relatable i don't know if there's any male out there that can say honestly that nothing that you said resonates with them because it is such a it's something as a human species we all have in common and it's such a powerful movement that you're driving and even that we're driving with coaches council on a higher level with a larger group of like minded you call it you had it such a great name for it in mindful alpha males and we're here for the betterment of those people to learn from now i'm curious what is it that you see as being the biggest downfall in the male gender when it comes to being able to have those empowering relationships being able to have a thriving business or have a thriving career but find that balance in everything what is that one downfall that you continue to.

See a lot wow that's a really i would say a loaded question because i don't know if i see any one particular downfall but i can tell you the few things the first one is the lack of role models right now we have a shortage of role models and mentors out there for men to really help and say okay these are the things that you should be living by these are the values and integrity and honor like these types of words that i'm using right now honor who uses these words right now very few people right so integrity authenticity honor all the values these are all the things that we should be focused on so a lack of role models is one and the other piece is you know what there's so much and i'm not going to blame technology because so much social media out there we have so much media in general out there that are bashing men that are telling men that you know what you need to be a certain way you need to be softer which i agree with i don't agree that men necessarily need to be softer they just need to be more empathetic and in tune with their emotions and so there's a lot of confusion in terms of what it means to be a man but now that i think about what the question that you're asking the biggest thing i think that is a downfall for men is trying to do it alone and not asking for help that is probably the most common thing that i see amongst high performing men especially that no one wants to admit that they're feeling challenged no one wants to admit that their relationship isn't going well or that their business isn't going well like we're seeing it right now there's a lot of people that had this persona of having an awesome business that are struggling they're not able to even pay their bills and their mortgage but you would never know that if you were to talk to them before this so asking for help i think is the most important thing there.

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It ourselves well you know again that's a loaded question and here's just my perspective of it there's a number of things there's a natural tendency as men to try to do it alone right that's how our brains are wired is to actually go out there and do the task and there's a status component if i ask for help that reduces my status that's the perception that we get as males and so to do it alone is is to be raising your status because once you hit that not only do you have higher confidence but you can tell the other person hey look i didn't need any help i did it by myself and that's a that's a that's a a symptom of the ego right we can talk about this even more individualism for example the differences between eastern and western culture where especially western culture were very much about individualism where eastern culture is very much about doing things together for example like in certain cultures in japan for example if you ask someone to take credit for something they hesitate because no one individual wants to take credit they want to give credit to the entire team so that is the difference culture is really promoting individualism and i think a lot of it has to do with how we are raised in families and again i think over the last two decades three decades and probably even longer families have gone through a real transition in terms of how they raise children and that's why the divorce rates have gone up to such a high degree and the reason why we're here right now but in all honesty it's a combination of societal pressures plus our natural tendency plus ego to really ask.

For help i want to dive into that a little bit what is it that we can do culturally from because obviously culture is a very loaded term as well we talk about culture in a family we talk about culture in a business we talk about culture in a city we talk about culture in a region and then we can talk about culture nationally but just like where people are like oh my vote doesn't count or some type of opinion like that what is it that we can do as men as women as the human race what is it that we can do in our family in our business in our city in our region in our country to help change that.

Culture yeah i think well now that i yeah again really big question the first thing is it starts at home it starts in terms of how we act and react in our family situation so how we raise our children and i had this really interesting conversation with this gentleman the other day that talked about all the work that he's doing and he's doing phenomenal stuff but the one thing that i did miss is he had all these goals and aspirations but my whole thought pattern as he was talking was what's your impact on your children going to be because that should be your biggest focus my biggest focus right now outside of helping men is really my children i want my children to grow up and be the best people from the perspective of contributing to society learning how to live with enjoyment and fulfillment that's my number one duty and i think a lot of us men forget that we get so tied up in trying to keep up with the joneses or we gotta support our families and make x amount of money or we have to have a certain status or we have to look a certain way and we forget about what our core purpose is and what our core meaning is and we are people first we are human beings first but then our next level as men is we are husbands and we are fathers so we have to take that into accountability before we are ceo's before we're executives before we're entrepreneurs so taking that is one aspect the other one is really having open conversations because i see and again i don't jump into the political realm but when we see crappy leadership out there from other men we have to have a conversation about it in an open conversation without being offended without talking about our political views and say is this person a great leader if not how do we have a conversation about this as men and say okay do we talk about the challenges with this leader do we figure out if there's a better leader to take the place this is a big topic right now because we do have really poor role models and i think that's a that's a big piece we have to be able to challenge other men without getting offended without getting violent and without saying you know without taking it personally and saying you know that person's trying to attack me we have to be open to that you talked.

So much about as one of the biggest challenges for men as being ego as well and you all know those books i mean john gordon's got a bunch on them there's a bunch of leadership books with ego is the enemy and ego will be the downfall of any type of leadership ego will be the downfall of any business any home any country and what is it that you see as almost not an end all be all cure but the first step for people being able to drop that ego and be more willing to hear feedback be more willing to step up to the plate and take a hard look inside and i asked that because of a couple different reasons one is we all know that anytime we're trying to accomplish something the biggest thing we say is you just have to take the first step and we can't focus on something i always say is you can't focus on outcomes outcomes are garbage focusing on winning is garbage focusing on losing thirty pounds is garbage it's what habits or what process is going to get me to that goal and focusing on those individual things and what does it take for an individual to step back understand that ego is there just accepting the fact that we know it's there is i think if you would agree the first step and just acknowledge that it's real but then once we know it's real what can we do to push beyond it well you.

Know here's my perspective of ego because there are a lot of there's a lot of information out there there's a lot of books and i think this is where there's a balance between ego having an ego and not having an ego every single person has an ego if we take a look at it from a spirituality perspective if we if the ego did not exist we would not be here as individuals we would just be one single form of energy and a blob basically one big blob of energy and matter but we're not we're individuals here in the reality that we live in so i have a different take because i believe that the ego is necessary it's necessary if you take a look at it for example and athletes the very top athletes have an ego and they need to have an ego because they are the top athletes the biggest thing to understand with ego is once you have that awareness and understanding of separation between ego and me as a soul as a spiritual being is when to use that ego and that is the biggest thing because there's times when you can use the ego to your advantage example sports right any competitive piece and sometimes to even motivate yourself ego is there right if you're working out in the gym sometimes you gotta motivate yourself a little bit because you might look over at the other guy and say i'm gonna lift a little bit more than that guy or whatever it is but then also to know when it's actually stopping you from from self reflection that's the biggest downfall of ego is a lot of times it blocks the self reflection part so if we get into an argument with our spouse for example one of the things that the ego will do is say okay i'm in the right you're in the wrong and dropping that and saying it's not about right or wrong you know is this and i this is one thing i'm very adamant about i don't talk about right or wrong or good or bad it's not necessarily that in life because that's that's part of the world it's really is it empowering or disempowering you so is it helping you live a more fulfilling life is it allowing you to get your goal faster is it allowing you to better someone else's life if your ego is doing that then you can perpetuate that but if it's not if it's stopping you from doing that then it's time to pull back right if it's separating you from relationship it's separating you from learning if it's causing other people harm or is causing you harm or grief then it's time to step back but the biggest thing is to understand the balance you talked about awareness that's important stepping back but then also saying where is it appropriate to have an ego and where is it not.

That'S so important to i think understand and you hit it or you explained it so well is that ego is necessary ego is necessary to accomplish anything but it's that balance it's that fine line of taking you to your goal to pushing you over the edge and then starting to hinder you in the other facets and aspects of your life so for everybody listening where a lot of this has really resonated or something has really hit home what would you say or what would you recommend as being that first step for somebody to.

Take oh wow when it comes to anything and this is always my first step with a lot of things in terms of you can say transformation forwarding your life bettering yourself or your relationships is really taking a look at the emotional state and so i'd like to take a look at the science behind things as well as the spirituality behind things but one thing that it all really comes down to is emotions right our state of emotions the types of emotions that we live our emotional awareness yet some people call it emotional intelligence emotional mastery but the biggest thing is to figure out okay what are we feeling right now because our feelings will show us our feelings are basically the projection of our actions so if we are feeling a certain way we are going to react a certain way right and so even beyond our thoughts we have to pay attention to our emotions because again we have so many thoughts running through our minds that it's tough to take a hold of them there's sixty to eighty thousand plus thoughts a day that we have our emotions though are not as complicated they are in a way but there's not sixty thousand eighty different thousand thoughts or emotions that you have every single day so you can actually keep track of that so i highly recommend saying how am i feeling right now it's a simple exercise how am i feeling at this particular time write it down you can journal it see what the patterns are because you can see the consistent patterns that you have in your emotions and that will tell you what you need to change i'll give you an example if you're sitting with your family and you're constantly feeling a certain emotion that you don't want to feel then you need to take a look and say okay is it my internal state is it my environment is someone saying something to me what is it that's causing me to feel this way and what can i change and what can i shift because we have the ability to change something we just need to figure out what it is is it internal is it the environment do i have to remove myself so for me justin it really comes down to emotions because if you can manage your emotions better you can pretty much do everything else pradeep.

It'S always a pleasure talking to you every time i listen to you speak or we get on with the council it's i learn something new every time so for everybody out there that's pradeep sanga he helps men win and ultimately become the mindful alpha male so pradeep it's a pleasure to have you on the coaches council and to hear more from pradeep and the rest of the council be sure to tune in every monday new podcast is released on google apple podcasts stitcher spotify wherever you get your podcast fix i think there's about fifty of them now they keep on rolling out but be sure to check in every monday from the coaches council so we can help you get out of struggling times and give you strategies in which you can begin to own your life so with that stay hungry stay humble and we'll see you next.

Week.

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