Coaches Council Podcast Episode 20: 1-on-1 with Brian Nunez, Responsibility = Freedom

You're insecure of what you don't understand. I've realized this more as I've gotten older. The more I learn, the more I realize I don't know shit. The faster that I can take 100% responsibility for the problems in my life or the problems that I'm facing, the faster that I can become the solution.

This is the Coaches Council, made up of six elite coaches dedicated to serving and ending personal struggle for high performers in business, health and relationships. As a collective, we have built and helped build six, seven and eight figure businesses, dominate in multiple industries, coached and played in professional sports leagues, and developed some of the strongest and most intimate relationships, both professional and personal.

This isn't your average podcast.

It's for the hungry, the dedicated, the doers, for those that have a dream and truly want that dream to become reality. People who want to take action, leave their ego at the door and own every level of their life. If that's you, then step into the Coach's Council as we rewrite the truths to living that high performance life. Welcome back to another week of the Coaches Council. One of my favorite people that I've never met in person, Mr. Brian Nunez. Brian, thank you so much for being on with us today. But more importantly, just being a part of the council.

Absolutely. So honored, so grateful. It's. It is a master class for me every single time we sit down and connect with everybody, man, learning from all these minds. And I honor you for putting something like this together. So it's incredible.

When I was putting this together, Brian, you were really somebody that I cued in on because social media is such a fascinating thing to me. Where we've never met in person. We've been in the same circles, we've been in the same arenas, I guess you could say for many years, but never met in person. But I've always been inspired by you in your leadership, in your energy, in your mindset, and the way that you approach life. And when you agree to come on and do this, it was one of those, like, really wow moments for me of how social media can connect people and the power of networking. And so I'm really just super grateful to you. I know I try to voice my appreciation to all the coaches in the council on a weekly basis. But again, just man to man, I appreciate you and are grateful for you.

Well, likewise, brother. Like I said before, it is an absolute honor. I learned so much from you guys and that's what it's about. As you said, it's a networking piece, one especially with social media, we don't realize that it's as simple as a message and connecting with somebody but then surrounding yourself with people who, you know, like, I never feel like I'm the smartest person in the room when we get together as a council. But that's, you know, you're in the right place when that's the situation that you're in.

No, you're exactly right. And I think as doing all these one on ones with all the coaches, that's, that's been something that I've, it's been a common theme that I've heard is guys are going, every time I sit down, we learn things because we're all high performing individuals. We are all striving for this level of excellence. And I think when you come in and you drop the ego and you come in from a servant's heart standpoint, you open yourself up to learn new things that you would have never thought possible.

Yeah, I mean it's. And that's it, right? The ego is not your amigo. If you're, you know, if you let it control you and you have this closed, closed mind of, I'm thinking, you know, everything, right. That's the second you've lost in life saying you got it all figured out. You know your stuff. And it's that old philosophy of always being a white belt. Right. It's always, always being a beginner said even though you have a lot of strengths. And I've always, I don't say always actually, I've, I've realized this more as I've gotten older. The more I learn, the more I realize I don't know shit. And that's good. And I like that feeling now as opposed to insecurity. Before growing up was a lot of like, I got to know everything or else I'm going to look like a fool. People are going to think that, you know, I got to have all answers. I gotta be, you know, Mr. Perfect, have it all figured out. And it's like nonsense, you know, it's, it's the worst way of thinking. So you can't really be in a part of groups. I feel like this until you can drop, you can drop the ego as you said and you know, fully be open to learning from others and knowing that you don't have all the answers. And that's good, that's okay.

It's a lesson that I wish I learned earlier in my career. But as everybody, you go through your own journey, you go through your own path and that awakening moment happens at different points for people. The biggest thing that we just need to do is try to maximize that learning curve and maximize our exposure to new things so that we can give ourselves the opportunity for those light bulbs to continually go off at earlier points in our life as we go through that journey.

Spot on, man.

So with that, I know I'm very curious, and I'm sure the rest of the listeners are, but who is Brian Nunez? So where did you come from? How did you learn the point of views that you have? What experiences really shaped who you are today? Because who you are today is so inspirational, and you make such an impact on a vast amount of people. What brought you to that place?

You know, try to keep it Cliff notes version for everybody, right?

I was going to say, I expect a detailed answer for all 20 of those questions.

When my mom and my dad got together on one drunken night. I'll start, I'll backwards engineer it. Who I am is a connector. Now, I believe every one of us has a superpower about who we really are. Oftentimes we say who we are based off of what we do. And I've been like that in many aspects of my life where it was, oh, you know, who are you? Oh, I'm a fireman, or I'm a trainer, or I'm a. Whatever the case. Right. We start with, like, our identity is attached a lot of times to what we do, but that's not necessarily who we are. And so that took a while for me to really be able to articulate to myself, because that's at our core, that's what we want to embrace. It's like our formula. Like I said, that's our superpower. So for me, I'm a connector. I'm a human connector. And my superpower and my passion, my purpose is exactly one of those things is to connecting people to people's passion, purpose, and potential. I'm a community cultivator. I help connect people. So I first help connect people to themselves, and then I help connect people to one another. So those are the two main things that I. That I'm able to do and that I love doing. And I feel that's. That's what I was. I was really called upon to be here. And so when I look at that aspect, there's a lot of what's, you know, I work, I have my own business. Bay area's number one training facility for the last five years here in Santa Clara, California. FNS Training center, which will be 10 years. Coming up on 10 years that we've had this location. I'm a father, I'm a husband, a Nike master trainer, world speaker, author. So these are all. What's. Like, these are all things that I've done or titles next to my name. But at the root of all those things is I got to understand who I am so that I'm not changing who I am in all those aspects. I want to be the same person. So who I am is that human connector. And really, it's crazy how that comes to light is that growing up, I always felt something was off. I always felt this massive, massive, massive disconnection internally, like I was doing all these things. And I played sports my entire life, and that sports was my saving grace. It saved my life. You know, my parents got divorced, and I was in the ninth grade, which is not like a massive, like, oh, wow moment. It's like 50% of the world. So it's not. But, you know, it breaks up the family. So dynamics change, right? There's a lot of things that you go through. You go through trials and tribulations, and there's a lot of things that you go through that now. I'm extremely blessed because that's what I've. I've learned so many things in the process. But during that time, I just really didn't know who I was. And I did a lot of things growing up from sports and hanging out with groups for all of, you know, like, doing all the right things for. For the wrong situations at times. It wasn't really connected to who I was. So. And so, you know, I. I felt I needed to be this jock or I need to be this guy, hang out with this person. So there's years and years and years where I was just so disconnected to who I was. You know, I'm very sensitive. I'm very emotional. And those are two things that do not go well with the sport of football. Like, those are frowned upon, right? Probably the same as in hockey. You know what I mean?

It's like I feel like I'm talking to the mirror right now.

So, you know, you have these breakthroughs and, you know, after I was done playing football in college, I took a trip and I lived in Australia. And I wanted to move to a place where nobody knew who I was and I could be my. And I could figure out who I was for the first time. So I was the first student athlete to study abroad after my last season of football. And I lived there for six months. And I remember. I remember going out there, and I remember the first day There. And I'm excited. I didn't want to go with any friends. I wanted to. My. My intention was going away, not just to travel. I never really traveled other than football. I never traveled as a kid. My intention was to meet myself. I want to meet myself. I want to see who I really am. You take away all the titles, you take away all the accolades, you take away all the, oh, you're cool because you hang out with this group or you're this. You take away. I wanted to strip myself of every association and to meet myself for that time. And I remember it was one of the scariest, scariest times. I was so nervous, I had so much anxiety. And I remember sit. I remember I was sitting in my dorm room when I just got there and it hit me when I looked out the window and there's a bunch of students hanging out at the barbecue pit. Because when I was playing sports, you're instantly, you go into this instant fraternity and as you know, playing sports, like you're part of that hockey team or football team and that's your tribe, like right off the bat, like you're already in it. So you don't have to worry about, like, oh, I got to meet new people. You're already connected through that bond, right? And I never have. I never in my. From, from 5 years old to 22, I had never, ever experienced like just being myself for me and having to be a part of a group other than sports. So I remember standing outside and I looked out the window and I remember I was, I stood there and I was crying. I was crying. I'm a 22 year old, this guy who just got off playing football, this college athlete. I'm like, tears coming down my face because I didn't even know how to have a conversation about anything that wasn't like sports talk or this talk. Like, it was such a, such a weird moment I'll never forget. But it was that act of courage, like, hey, this is the time you got to meet yourself. You got to connect. You got to see if people like you for you. They have no context to who you are or they don't care. And so that was one of the big times in my life that really, you know, got me to be a little more connected to myself. And I got. And I got to see who I was. I mean, the people I hung out with there was not the people that I probably would have hung out with back home because of the circumstances.

So a question for you, Brian. When you, at that moment, when you had Tears coming down your eyes. You were standing there and all you've ever known is this football player, the football group, the jock group, the popular kids that would. Of everything that you'd ever accomplished, do you remember what it is that you were able to go and talk about?

You know, it was. This is probably one of the. This is probably the biggest thing that. This is probably my biggest weakness to this day. I do not. I am not good at small talk. Like, I always tell my wife this. I'm like, I don't know how to small talk. Like, what do people like? What. What do you like? The small talk is. It's still to this day, it's so difficult for me to do. Like, I am the guy that goes to the barbecue and finds the other person that wants to talk deep about, like, life or goals. And I sit in the corner with them. We talk for, like two hours. And so I remember going out there, and I think it was very uncomfortable because there's a lot of small talk. So it wasn't like, oh, I was able to connect with that person off the bat, you know, and it was just building that muscle of, hey, like, this is some of the things that you have to do in these situations. You're not just be able to walk in every situation and, like, have a deep goal setting. Let's talk about big dreams and life. Like, that's not how everyone talks. You know, they're gonna. And, hi, I'm Brian.

What's your.

Why? Yeah, exactly. You know, you know, like, this guy's a freak. So, you know, it was that level of conditioning. And it's not a bad thing. It's so necessary, right? Because even the connections you make right off the bat, you don't just have those right off the bat. You connect. You do have to have some small talk. You've got to gauge each other out. And so it's actually a skill. And it's something that still doesn't come natural to me. But I do know how important it is now to develop that relationship, develop that rapport, develop. Just develop that, you know, that form of communication. So I don't remember specifically. I just remember going out and saying, I need to start strengthening this muscle of small talk. And that was what scared me. Right? And it was one of those, I think, the insecurity. I was very insecure at that time because I was brand new. It was something that I was, you know, I don't know if people are gonna like me. What if they don't like me? What if they Think you're an ass? What do they think you're a jerk? What if they. All these things, right? You need to be this guy. Maybe don't need like all these things are going through my head. And so. But at the end of the day, it was insecurity. I was very insecure of being me because I, you know, you're in. You're insecure of what you don't understand, right? We fear we don't understand. So I just didn't understand it. So that's why I was insecure. But then it takes courage. It takes courage to be willing to understand about a situation, about your life, about a situation about a cause. Like, it takes courage because you're probably going to rattle up some beliefs. You're probably going to expose some things within yourself that you're like, man, I don't really like that about myself. Whether you're judgy or you're. Whatever the case is, that's why it takes courage. Because you're going to clean out some shit that's ain't the cleanest that needs to be cleaned out in the process. And so, you know, from there, you know, I got a chance to come back home. There was another. Now I'm back integrated to my friends and back to my old friends and I'm like, dude, I like this person who I've really become. Now I have to come back. And it's a whole readjustment saying, dude, I don't really want to hang out some of these people anymore. That's not my lifestyle. That's not really what's important to me. So there was a readjustment. Then you have to have. Then you have to be bold and courageous to be like, you know what, I love you, still respect you, but I just don't want to spend my time maybe with certain people that I would have normally spent before because of sport. And you know, these are phases that are reoccurring themes that happen in life. So when I say this, I think people listening to this, you know, need to understand that that's going to happen. The people that you hung out with when you were single and partying and going out, then maybe you get married or in a relationship, naturally those changes. It doesn't mean that you're better than the person. Like, hey, I'm in a relationship now. Like, I'm better than you. Because you're still going to the bar, to the clubs. Like, no, you're just. You've got different priorities in your life. And so that's What I really learned, you know, now 36 years old, just these common themes are going to constantly continue to evolve as our life changes. I don't like to also think of it as like, oh, I'm growing to this another level. It's like life changes, you know. So I think earlier I would have been like, I'm on this path. Not I would have been, I'll be very critical of myself. You know, earlier when you go on this path of like getting connected to your heart, you know who you are, it's like the person who goes to like a, you know, personal development retreat or Tony Robbins and they're like, oh man, I learned this. Like, you all are like losers now. Or, you know, that's not the intention of the conference, but you feel like you're on this spiritual high enlightened, better than thou, and it can be judgy. Right? Which is the opposite. So, you know, in that process, there's a lot of things that happen. You know, my stepfather at the age when I got back, but a year afterwards, took his life, committed suicide. That was probably the biggest awakening for me to. He was, loved everybody else, one of the most selfless human beings to other people, but showed no self love to himself. And ultimately you combine depression with alcoholism, bad things happen. And so witnessing that for firsthand, that level of disconnect within an individual, it just really woke me up in such a big way to be more connected to who I am, which enhanced the relationships that much more. And so it just got me on this path. Like, this is really what I want to do. I want to, first and foremost always have that self love and self care of being connected to who I am, because that is what fuels and drives my impact to other people. And so, you know, there's a couple of those milestones in my life that really made the big awakening about who I am. And I'm still searching. I mean, I'm still learning in this process. You asked me in two years from now, I'll be like, oh, you know what this is because we have to have that growth mindset to be a little more dialed in so very. It's a loaded question, who are you and where does it come from? Right. But that's. I would say the Cliff Notes version is. Some may think that was long, but my Cliff Notes version of where I'm at.

We'd be remiss if we didn't take this time to thank our sponsors that allow us to reach you each and every week. The Coaches council is powered by Cannibrands, a lab tested all natural pure hemp CBD company without the presence of thc. They encompass our passion for health, wellness and fitness that we have on the coaches council. Visit cannibrands.com and at checkout, use the promo code coaches20 to enhance your wellness journey. No, that is so, so great because you touched on this so many times. During it, you used this word and it was courage. And I'm a big fan of Brene Brown's work and a lot of what she puts out and her definition of courage is to speak one's mind by telling all of one's heart and just even seeing the way. And again, if you guys watch this on YouTube, you can see Brian's. The way your eyes light up, the way your face looks, your facial expressions, the way in which you articulate those experiences, it shows what you truly feel inside. And what was your experience entering into those times where you had to be courageous? Because courage, just like any other habit, is something that's learned. It's not something that you can just be, oh, I'm going to be courageous today and go and do it. What were some of your memories of really entering into that space and some of the experiences that you had there? Both failures and successes? Because there's both. There's. We're always going to experience both levels and it's how. And again, you're brilliant at this from the mindset standpoint of taking the failures that you have and using them as simple learning experiences so that you can ultimately succeed down the road. So what were some of those experiences that you had that taught you how to be courageous?

You know, courage. And I love that definition. I too, I love Brene Brown's work. A lot of times people think courageous as that, as that warrior standing on top of the mountain who just runs, takes charge, and they think of them as fearless. And there's an often misconception that courage means fearless. Actually the quite opposite. Courage, in my opinion, is acting when fear is present. Like, I'm scared, but I'm still going to act. That's courage to me. Not. I have no fears whatsoever. You know, that to me is crazy because you haven't really. Like, you're just going at it without any, without any emotional, emotional guidance to what you're doing. It's just kind of like kamikaze style, right? So courage is understanding. Like, man, like, I know why this fear is present, but I also know why I need to do it for growth. And to me, it's that bridge of yes, I'm scared knowing why you're scared, knowing why there's a fear, but then also knowing that when you act, it will be. You have a predicted outcome of what you're trying to accomplish afterwards. So I look at something as simple as having a barbecue and wanting to go and have. Or, you know, going out and wanting to approach certain people. It was that level of fear. Do they not like me? What's going to happen? A lot of insecurity stuff, but knowing and saying, hey, when I get through this, my. The goal of intention is to make some meaningful relationships with other people and also challenge myself to do something I've never done before. So what happens is that if the end goal doesn't excite, isn't more powerful than the fear itself, you will never take action. I think it's really important people to understand this because that seeing the other side of that bridge, if that doesn't excite me more than the fear that is present, like, it just has to be more. It doesn't have to be monumentally more. It just has to be more. If the fear, though, is greater of that bridge than the excitement of me wanting to get to the other side, I'll never cross it. That's why we have to look at the other side of the bridge and be like, do you really want this? Do you really, really want that? And for me, I really wanted it. I really wanted that connection. I really wanted to be. To see who I was in that situation. I mean, I've moved all the way across the world not knowing anybody for seven months. No family, no friends. Like, I didn't know anybody. So I was fully committed. And so I think in these situations, that is how I assess it. And I go to the end and say, how bad do you really want this? Because if I kind of want it, I'm like, yeah, it would be nice. No chance. Like, if there's an ounce of fear, it's not going to happen. I'm not going to make a move. And so that's how I assess every situation. And I want to put as much focus and energy on that accomplishment, the result of the feeling that I'm going to have when I get there. And that has to be the thing, because think about it, you know, it's like playing sports. You know, who likes to do all the conditioning stuff when you're playing sports? All right, you know, football, one 10s liners, line it up. Let's go. Like, who likes to do that shit? Nobody likes. I mean, it's crazy. I like to do shit. Now I don't even do it for sports, but now I do it for training. Right, but then you're doing it because of the idea that, guys, we can get stronger. We can. We're going to be stronger in the fourth quarter. We got goals, we have. We want to win our conference, we want to win state, we want to win, we want to go to a bowl. Whatever the case is, that desire of what you're doing is like, it pushes you that much more. So if that isn't strong enough, then naturally, anytime fear or an obstacle presents itself, you'll always get crushed because that focus isn't there, what you want to do. So that's really how I assess every situation and just know that if I'm not nervous and if there's no fear, to this day I still get nervous. And I've coached, I don't even know, thousands, tens of thousands of classes, tens of thousands of sessions in 15 years. I mean, so much. I don't even know like, how many sessions I've done. I always still feel nervous before every live coaching session that I do with the group, every, you know, in person, online, with the client, one on one. Because the day that I stopped feeling that level of nerves is the day that I'm done. Because I really don't. It doesn't excite me. And so it's sometimes minuscule micro doses of that courage. You need to be like, well, like, how can you be your best today? Like, how can you connect with them in a different way? And so knowing that that means that the fight is still in you. Courage, you know, that fear means that the fire is still lit because it means that it's not fear like you're scared. It's that, you know, it's the challenge. It's the challenge within you. And that's going to. That's, you know, there has to be a risk of failing if there's fear. Like if there's a risk of failing, that means fear is present. If there's a risk of failing, then that also means there's a risk of elevating or reward of elevating, I should say, not a risk. So those things, everything must stack up. We can't just grow, grow, grow. I'm getting better and getting better and getting better without any resistance. Like saying, hey, my muscles are getting bigger and bigger, but I never lift any more weights. Like, it doesn't work like that, right? So that's kind of my. The process of how I assess going into something that's great.

What would you consider your biggest failure through every act that you've taken thus far?

You know, I would say, I think the thing that sticks with me and it's become the biggest part of my impact is my lack of gratitude. When I was younger was the biggest failure that inspired me to do the work that I do today. So when my stepdad. When my stepdad took his life, I was at a time when I was like, I was in kind of that. That spiritual. I wouldn't even like to call it spiritual enlightened. I'm going to call it spiritually entitled. Because I had that kind of, like, you know, swagger. I'm. Now I'm more connected, you know, and everybody goes through these phases. You know, there's phases when you kind of go through stuff that exposes a little bit of your truth that time. I always say fitness is one of those things that magnify someone's ego. Like somebody who wasn't in shape and they got in shape. The first part of them being in shape, they kind of like walk around like they're hot shit, you know, like, they're the greatest. The ego's a little high, you know, and then once they sustain it over years, they. They're just like, this is a lifestyle. I don't need to act like this anymore. But in the very beginning, you kind of like, you know, when you make that first big paycheck, you got a little more money. You're like, oh, you know, I got a little. I got a little swag in my step now, Right?

Sure.

Because the first time. So, you know, that's kind of how it was in that space. And so I say that is because during that time, in my early 20s, I was kind of going through that, but I wasn't practicing gratitude. And gratitude wasn't about, oh, I was only practicing one side of gratitude. I'm so grateful for these great things. I'm so grateful for this. I'm so grateful for my job. I'm so grateful that I'm making money now. I'm so grateful that I'm doing this stuff. But I was arrogant that I was not grateful for all the tough times in my life that made me who I was, all the people in my life who sacrificed so that I could be where I was. And I was arrogant to not honor those things and not show the true gratitude of the fact that so many people had sacrificed so much stuff in their life to give me the position of where I was, thinking that, like, I did this all on my own, I had this bullshit mindset that self made, I did this, I did this on my own. And to this day I'm like, there's no such thing as self made. Everybody at some point has helped you get where you're at from your parents coming together and making you one drunken night, or our sensual night, or a coach or a teacher, somebody building part of that bridge for you, right? And that was what I lacked. I think that to me was the biggest failure in that time. And so when my dad passed away, the biggest thing, I don't have any regrets other than the fact that during that time I never truly, truly got to honor him and tell him how much he meant to me. And all the things that he did for me and broke his back and took care of me was the most selfless, you know, individual. And for many years after that, I struggle with, you know, as anybody who deals with anybody who's been through suicide, they. They have at some point this level of, was it because of me? Did I do something? Was this, like, if I would have done xyz, this maybe would have never happened. Anybody who's been through a suicide instance in their life of knowing somebody, that's one of the things that they think about. And of course, when it's your dad who's raised me as my own father Since I was 9 years old, you think about those things, you know, and so. But that failure turned into so much of the impact, you know, And I know, and I've forgiven myself for those thoughts years ago. And I honor him so much with the work I do today. And I know that he's, he's so proud of me. And it's, you know, crazy how these things wake you up. And the most traumatic things in life are the things that are always obviously going to wake us up. So. But if there's anything I would look back in, you know, that was the thing looking back was my lack of gratitude, my lack of appreciation, my lack of being able to communicate what people have done for me in my life and showing that love. But obviously that inspired me to do what I do every single day. And I am messaging, probably video message, you know, 15 to 20 people a day, every day, telling them how much I love them, I appreciate them, because I want to have, I want to have clear paths with every single person I have. And I want everybody to know in my life how I. How I feel about them at all times. So, you know, your failures, your failures often inspire the biggest changes and impacts in your life.

That's amazing, Brian. I love the story behind that and how your action that you are able to take today is the impact of which you instill on thousands, but also the intimacy of being able to send a video to people throughout the day. I mean, that just right there had such an immediate impact on me. I'm like, man, it's not very hard to do, but the impact is so much greater. So very, very cool. You talked about how as you went through this, there were people that had a big impact on you and helped get you there. Who were the biggest leaders in your life growing up and even today.

Well, number, you know, the top ones are my parents, my mom, my dad, my stepdad. They were. They are in rest in peace, my stepfather, but just the biggest fans and biggest supporters. And even though that when they got a divorce, it was as most divorces are, they're not very smooth. Right? It's not like, you know, you part ways amicably and you're, you're all skipping and dancing. Everything's fine. No, it's, you know, it takes time and it did. But the one thing that they never, ever, ever, ever, ever did was stop supporting us, me and my sisters, with our sports, with our activities, being at games, at practice. Only my, my mom, my dad have never, ever missed a game, which is, you know, insane, let alone most practices that they would be at, you know, and as a father, you realize that now I'm like, oh, my God, like, that shit was hard. Like, I have one kid, they had four, you know, like, and they were still doing everything. And so again, you don't have the empathy, you know, and even when you don't have kids, like, when I didn't have kids, I didn't even have that empathy in my 20s. You know, you just think, like, oh, you're a parent. Like, you. Like that level of privilege, of entitlement was so strong. It's like I had no idea how lucky I was. Oh, I thought it would. Life was hard. It's like, I mean, you just don't know what you don't know. And so definitely my parents, one of my football coaches in high school, I would say was probably one of the biggest impact in my life. Rest in peace. He died a few years ago, but just really was so much love, love, tough love, really like a third father figure in my life that I could always go to. And that's, you know, to this day, he was the first person into this coaching. And I talk about this all the time, you know, instilled in me forever. He said, you know, when I would be all mad that he would be on my case, he would be like, this is nothing. This is nothing, me being on your case. He says, worry when I stop coaching, you worry when I stop getting on your case. That's the. When that day happens, then you should stop. Then you should really worry. Because when people do that to you, that's when they've given up on you. That's when they see nothing in you. And so, you know, I talk about that all the time. I mean, when I heard that probably 21 years ago, that still rings true in my ear, that level of just accountability for yourself from others. So I would honestly, I mean, there's a lot of people, teachers and all that stuff along the way who had a big impact, but those. My parents and my high school head coach probably had the biggest, biggest impact on my life.

Now, going kind of full circle here and saying that you see yourself as a connector, you're in the business of connecting people to themselves and to others and to their passion. Do you take a lot of those early experiences and everything that you've kind of gone through and see it as ultimately what has shaped you to have the impact that you have today?

Yeah, definitely. I think that everything is a lesson, you know, and oftentimes we just. We are just seeing one chapter of the book, right? And we can react on that, and we. Everything is about connecting the dots in our life. It is about connecting the dots. It is about looking back and learning about who we were, who we are now, where we plan on being. And all these, All. All of these. All of these additional components, whether it's people, whether it's experiences, are all parts of that individual journey and story as well. And it takes so much time of us stepping back and assessing and connecting the dots. Oh, I see why this happened or how it was like this. And if I don't. If I don't change the pattern, if I don't like the outcome, I need to do one of three things. If you don't like the outcome in your life or whatever you're doing is there's. There's behavior pattern and actions. Now, where we're at in any aspect of our life is a byproduct of many behavior, like a behavior that has been set. So that's like the end part right now. To change the behavior, you've got to change some patterns, and to change the pattern, you need to change an action, because now that ball starts to switch. So if I want to Start, let's just say being a hockey player, I don't have the behavior to be the hockey player. So I need to start with some skates, right? And then I need to do that three times a week, right? And then hold the stick and then I need to start. So it's just. It's this thing of like, you got to keep stacking. So it is about connecting the dots in your life of all these different things, but ultimately knowing, you know, what type of impact, what type of influence do you want to have in your own life for yourself, who do you want to show up for yourself? I think that's the most important thing too, because I've also been in situations where I was doing a lot of things for other people as well, but I wasn't fulfilled for myself and I was doing all the wrong things or all the right things for all the wrong people. And that ultimately is the greatest thing that you can do. And I think, like you said earlier, right, it's, you know, when you talked about the head and the heart, I'm a huge, I'm a huge component of that, is that we can just speak. We can just speak from here and we can get the mind on the right page to be like, hey, let's trust your gut, let's trust your heart. The heart doesn't think logically. The heart is just like, this is what I want, this is what fulfills me. The brain thinks logically because it's assessing data all the time. So the brain's main job, main job is to do one thing, keep you safe, like, don't die. That's the brain's really only function. I mean, otherwise transports data and knowledge, but its main function is do not die. I need to keep you alive.

Keep you alive.

That's it, right? And so now when you can get those two on the same page, when this can be your navigation system and say, okay, I'll keep you alive and safe, and I know exactly where, how this engine you want to drive, now we can work together. So it is that constant balance of keeping the head and heart aligned, not just leading with your heart, but not being smart about or strategizing what you're trying to do, or just leading with your brain but not listening to your gut, that leads to unfulfillment. So all these things have definitely shaped who I am now, where I'm going. And I think of all these things, what's the main fuel that I realized at this point is the faster that I can take 100% responsibility for the problems in my life or the problems that I'm facing, the faster that I can become the solution. And that ultimately is living free. And I talk about this all the time. What is living free? Living free is recognizing that you are your only problem, therefore you are your only solution. And now you have gained 100% of the ownership of your life. And so, and whatever I decide to do, whatever playing field I decide to play, and maybe it's, maybe it's not fitness in the next five years doesn't mean I'm not going to be a connector. You know, I don't care if you put me in real estate right now or you put me in insurance. I'm going to find a way to connect people to who they are. I'm going to find a way to connect people to other people. I'm going to find a way to build a community because that's what I love the most. That's what I've always needed the most in my life, from sports, from being on teams. And that's ultimately my superpower and gift that I feel like I can share with the world.

Ryan, thank you so much for being here and sharing that story and for really just enlightening a lot of those areas, identifying that once you take responsibility back, that's the moment you take the power back. That's the moment that you are able to be in control of everything that's so uncontrollable. So besides every Monday on the podcast, where can people find you?

Instagram is the best place. Oachbrian Nunez, send me a dm. Usually I respond back either a message or a video message. People get a lot of video messages back from me. So you can always, always the reason why I love you. Mrs. I'll tell people this, and I would love to challenge everybody who listens to this is to send five people a personal video message honoring them and just telling them, you know, it's 30 seconds, 45 seconds about what they mean to you in your life. And I'm going to challenge you to do this too, Justin. And you're going to see today how fulfilling it is. One to honor somebody and share that love. But why it's so important is because with communication, one of the things that you want to eliminate is the confusion of tonality, because oftentimes people will read things in the tone in which the state that they're in. Yep, totally. So they send you a message and you're in a bad mood and you say, hey, man, you know, great, so and so you might read it as, hey, man, great, so and so, oh, nice to see you today. I didn't say it like that, you know, so eliminate any confusion. And you can always see in people's eyes, right, like their genuineness. And that's always for me as a connector, how can I make the deepest connection with somebody that makes them feel alive, that makes them feel empowered, that makes them feel energized. And that's really what I want to do, whether it's a podcast or a 30 second video message or face to face with somebody amazing.

Brian. Well, I can't wait till all this is over and we can connect in person and ultimately connect with the entire council in person, with our entire audience at some of our retreats coming up. So again, thank you so much for the time today. It's an honor to have this time with you as I know how precious it is. And just you as a person, I appreciate everything that you do and stand for.

Appreciate you, brother. Thank you so much with that, everybody.

Stay hungry, stay humble and we'll see you next week. Thank you so much for joining us for another week of the coaches council. If it wasn't for you viewers and listeners, we wouldn't have a platform. So again, it's all about you guys and we want to give you a reward just for listening. We want to give you access to each one of our coaches for a little bit deeper, intimate experience. So if you go to coaches-counsel.com coaches-council.com subscribe and like to whatever platform you're viewing on, you're going to be entered to have that one on one experience. So be sure to go coaches-counsel.com and really interact with us because we would love to interact with you. Until then, stay safe, stay hungry, stay humble, and thanks for listening.