Healing Hearts: Unlocking Your Potential through Self-Awareness and Ownership

Everyone, all over the place, all over social media. Yeah, just love yourself. It's not about loving yourself. I can love a lot of people, but I don't like a lot of people. This is the Own it show where we tell stories of how everyday people made ownership theirs. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to the Own It Show.

I'm your host, Justin Rothing Schoeffer.

And first off, we've got a great.

Show that we're going to dive into today, really leaning into four different types of hearts that, that we have. We often talk about wearing your heart on your sleeve and leading with your heart, leading with passion, playing with heart.

Doing business with with your heart. Like all of these things that we talk about living heart centered. But we want to dive into these.

Four types of hearts. And so as you leave today, you're going to be able to identify which heart you resonate with the most and what you can really do about it.

Because these things that we often don't.

Look at, these things that we often.

Unexamine, these unexamined cracks tend to break.

And obviously that's something that we want to try to avoid. And in reaching our full potential in living in true ownership, it requires us examining ourselves and looking back at where can we level up, what can we change, what opportunities are there.

And by examining our hearts, it's going to be able to open a lot.

Of doors for us that otherwise prior we have seen as closed.

Before we dive in, I really want.

To just acknowledge the people that have been listening for the last two years to, to our show. And if you're new, you've probably been turned on to our show in the last week, two weeks, month, and have been listening to all the episodes and kind of catching up on these different ones. And the biggest thing that we do here is, is we help you understand what a life in ownership looks like, what a life and ownership looks like through our guests, what an ownership, a life in ownership looks like through Elise and my's relationship and what a life in ownership looks like in my life and speaking more to the men and these things that exist in that space. So that is what you get with the Own it show is you get vulnerability, you get depth, you get growth, you get real action, steps that you can take and implement right away into your life. And that's always been the goal. And so if this has provided value for you, if it's something that you've loved, be sure today, even during this episode, screenshot it, screenshot it where you are. Tag us on social. Tag me on social and we'll integrate.

In because I would love for more.

People to get access to this information. Love for more people to get access to it. And leave us a review if you can go on and leave that five star review. It it's the way that we are able to reach more people. So if we can do that, I would greatly appreciate it. And I'm sure whoever you're introducing this to will be great, greatly appreciative of it as well.

And so coming back to it, there's.

Four hearts that really encapsulate what is going on internally with each and every one of us.

And, and we know that everything that we have experienced, these mentalities, these tendencies, these habits execute on these patterns are all something that have been ingrained in us for a long time. They've all been created because of experiences that we've had and we've derived a.

Meaning to these experiences.

And thus our heart has started to take hold or manifest what it is.

Exactly that we've been exposed to.

And oftentimes, as we talked about, these unexamined cracks tend to break. I want you to think about our heart almost as like a helmet for a second.

And again, another hockey analogy.

But in hockey, if you get hit really hard and your head hits the ice or your head hits the boards, whatever, the first thing the equipment manager is going to do once you're all looked after and off the ice and everything is they're going to examine that helmet for cracks. And ultimately what happens is the helmet's only really designed for one collision. And if we have unexamined cracks in that helmet, the next time it hits, it's not going to do its job. And that's the exact same thing that happens to our heart. And why we sometimes leave them unexamined is because to get, well, hurts and to heal hurts and to get fit hurts and to get out of that job that we don't like hurts, to regain energy hurts, to heal your gut hurts, everything hurts. But we have to be willing to go through the hurt in order to get to the mending process. And so many of us don't lean into that process or identify this because we don't know what is actually wrong. We don't know what actually we are doing in these four types of hearts. And these four types of hearts that I've kind of categorized allows us now to get really clear on what these are and figure out what these action steps are. And so the first one is a bruised heart. When we think about a bruised heart, we Want to try to stay away from certain touch points because they hurt. Maybe somebody's hurt us in the past or we were a fat kid. Can resonate with me on this one. You were a fat kid, and so you're always made fun of. You're poked fun of it for your weight. You were always left out, never picked for teams. Maybe you were. You couldn't read very well and you were made fun of in school. Or maybe you went and played a piano recital and you forgot everything while you were up there and you were embarrassed, and so you never touch musical instruments again. And anytime you're now asked to go perform or do something in front of people or speak or present, it's like, ooh, I don't want to do that, because I know what can potentially exist. I know what can potentially happen. And so that's that bruised heart. It's something we want to try to stay away from, but anytime we get close, anytime we get into the certain situation, you're like, ooh, I don't like that. And that bruised heart keeps us guarded. It doesn't allow us to open up. It doesn't. It. It holds us back from experiencing things. And so being able to examine what caused that bruised heart and healing from that, addressing that is going to be crucial and critical in making sure that we can ultimately go and start leaning into this area that. That we really want to grow in. You can think, for example, here is say you're. You're an entrepreneur and you're running your business, and you're like, I'm not getting many sales. I'm having trouble with my leads. I'm having trouble with my pipeline. But all of a sudden we realize that you're not actually selling. You're not actually creating these. These offers because you're not wanting to because of that piano recital of when you first went to go and perform for somebody and you were made fun of. So that bruised heart is one that it just. It's so much pain internally. The second one is a performance heart, and this one is. This resonates heavily for me because the performance heart is that we want to gain attention or we only see that we are worth love for things that we do.

Again, a sports analogy.

I was only ever seen or loved for playing really well or getting that scholarship or making that team or being recognized for a 4.0 GPA or getting that scholarship or getting that job. That's what we were see making it to the NHL. These were the things that ultimately I put my stock in and that performance heart is so difficult because it's a life of constantly chasing. No matter what you do, no matter what it is, you always. There's, there's always the next. There's always the next. There's always the next. And you can never actually know that you are just, you're. You're perfect exactly as you are. And you're always chasing that next thing and never truly able to create that optimized performance day in and day out on a consistent basis. Because you can't be present in what it is that you are doing. Because it's always what can I do next? What can I do next? Because I have to get that feeling of acceptance from those groups of people around me. If it's a new person you're meeting, what can I do for them? What can I achieve so that I will ultimately be accepted by them rather than, than just being yourself and being so confident and comfortable in that knowing that that individual is going to be more than happy to engulf you as you are. And that third heart is that hard heart. And this is one that's more self protecting because there are trust issues there, there's things that that have been hardened. You've been, you've been wronged in the past. Maybe he was going through, you were cheated on by a significant other, or you were wronged by a business partner and cheated out of a bunch of money or cut off in certain ways. And now you've got this hard heart that doesn't allow people in. And so you don't actually allow yourself to get to the depths of relationships that are required to thrive in your new business venture. And so the business part that you have now, or you're maybe having conflicts because of the hard heart that exists there. And so I hope by this time, guys, you're starting to see these patterns that exist is that one thing has led to the another, has led to the numbers, love to the other, have led to the another. And these experiences has ultimately maybe benefited us. At one point, that performance heart, that probably benefited us. We had to perform, we had to prove ourselves, we had this chip on our shoulder. That's often what it's called or how it's seen. But now as we've realized a certain level of success, as we've realized a certain level of progress, as we've reached a certain level in our life, it's now holding us back. And that hard heart is one that you don't allow people in. How can you build a high, a strong team of trust if you don't trust anybody. How can you build a strong executive team if you don't trust anybody? How can you build a strong family if you don't trust anybody? And so these things start to continually come up. They're the unexamined cracks that ultimately lead to a large break down the road. And the fourth one again, another one that I just feel so deeply and relate to so deeply is the addicted heart. You self medicate with something because you know you have holes, you know there's something there, you know, you don't truly like yourself. You can love yourself everyone, all over the place, all over social media. Yeah, just love yourself. It's not about loving yourself. I can love a lot of people, but I don't like a lot of people. And it's all about liking ourselves. It's liking what is imperfect. And that addicted heart, how it comes out is addiction of drugs, of sex, of pornography, of work, of alcohol, of validation, of saying yes to everything. That is what that addicted heart looks like. And as we continue to feed that addictive heart, it oftentimes then leads into the performance heart. It's not one or the other. We may be all of these in some way, shape or form. We may relate to all of these in a combination. But there's probably one that's really pulling at you and figuring out, hey, what do I do with this? How do I lean in, how do I make these adjustments so that I can also make sure that I don't have this infection. Continuing to bold and bold and bold and bold, but rather making sure that I have an opportunity to go into things that are difficult. I can go and I can address these things that have led to this heart that I have. Is it the bruised heart, the performance heart, the hard heart, or the addicted heart? And when you identify that, when you identify which one it is, you can start to ask yourself the question in a way that is empowering as to why do I, why do I have this heart? What has led to this? What series of events have led to this? What belief system have been established? How do I talk to myself? How do I function on a day to day basis that continues to feed this. And this new level of awareness can now ultimately make these cracks that exist visible. Even the faintest of cracks. You see a crack at a helmet you can't not unsee exists now. It's in your awareness factor, it's in your purview. And now you go and you change out the helmet and you get a new one. And now you can Go. And it's more durable, it's more safe, it's more protective, it's built to do what it's supposed to do. And we can't truly do what we were built to do. Win and execute on the level that we were built to win and execute on. If we're continuing to execute with a bruised heart, a performance heart, a hard heart, an addicted heart, a heart with cracks in it. Because we will only ever get to a suboptimal level, we will only ever get to a sub performance level and we will never truly realize that God.

Given potential that exists in each one of us.

And so as you guys go forward today, as you really start to sit back and you start to resonate with, maybe it's the bruised heart, who do I have to go back and have conversations with? What do I have to address? What do I have to sit into and figure that out? Or the performance heart, how can I, what do I go back to? Why do I feel I always need to perform? Or that hard heart in like who betrayed my trust in the past and who do I have to forgive? Or the addicted heart that we're covering up these holes, and what holes do we have to look at and examine and say, you know what, I'm perfect just the way I are. Why the way I am? Because quite frankly, those holes that probably exist are probably what you were meant to serve with, probably the stories that you are meant to resonate with, with other people. And so as we start to go through these and we start to identify where we really kind of lean into, it's going to give us a starting point. It's going to give us the opportunity to take that first step.

It's going to give us the opportunity.

To unleash a whole new level of success for us. Whether that's in business, whether that's in our health, whether that's in our relationships, whether that's in our family. But it can only start when we have clarity. We can only start when we can take that first step, get up to the starting line and say, hey, I want to make a change. Because I'm now aware of the cracks that exist.

And you're no longer just wearing a.

Helmet around that all of a sudden will shatter. And I know this is probably not.

What you guys want to hear and.

And it's, it's sometimes hard to hear, but creating healing can hurt even more at the very start. Maybe it's something that's really tough for you to go back on. Maybe it's something really hard for you to look for. But like I said at the beginning, getting well hurts. Healing feelings hurts. Getting fit hurts. Regaining energy hurts. Healing your gut hurts. Looking after that relationship and healing that relationship hurts. But ultimately, at the end of the day, it's worth the hurt. It's worth the hurt because the new level of enjoyment, the true level of joy, the true level of performance that will be realized once your heart is. Is healed.

Is a amazing, amazing place.

So as you guys go forward, I know we talk about this all this time, but this is all about a life and ownership. A life and ownership analyzes that heart, analyzes where you currently are and where you ultimately want to make some change. And so I challenge you to lean into one of those, really start to dive deep. And once you do that, you're going to know, hey, I'm living different. And we know that success is different and it requires you to choose different. So if this really resonated with you guys, I'd love you to screenshot it. Screenshot it, Share it with somebody. Share it with somebody who, you know is struggling and going through something. Because you know what this right here might be what changes their mindset, what changes their thought process, what changes their mindset, and it could be the miracle.

That they were waiting for.

So please share this. Put a 5 star review on Apple.

So that people can actually go and see it and get exposed to it in deeper ways. And at the end of the day, we know success is different. So own your different and we'll see you guys next week.