Ownership Pays You Back With Susan Elizabeth

This is the Own it show where we tell stories of how everyday people made ownership theirs to create extraordinary success.

Welcome back, ownit crew. I'm Elise.

And I'm Justin. And welcome to the Own it show.

So if you're new to the podcast, be sure to like share, repost with other like minded people like you and entrepreneurs like you so that you can learn as much as what we're gonna learn. Our guest today, Susan. Susan, how are you?

I am so great. Thank you so much for having me on here. I am just coming off a super, super busy day with my corporate career and so, so blessed to be able to just come here and be a part of what you're doing.

Amazing. Well, we are so happy to have you here today, Susan. Just to tell you guys a little bit about her. She is my personal mindset and leadership coach. I have learned so much from her. She's absolutely amazing and she has so stellar 30 year career in the manufacturing industry working with multiple Fortune 500 companies. So we have a lot to be able to learn from her today.

It's amazing, Susan, to just like that whole intro and so many people in this space now are battling, do I go corporate, do I become an entrepreneur, Do I live in my passion or do I pursue the steady retirement package, the steady paycheck, how do you balance that? And what was that kind of aha moment for you saying that I can actually do both?

I love this question. That is such a good question. And here's how it was for me when I grew up. I grew up from humble beginnings and I grew up with the belief system that you just need to work really hard. And so I was an artist, a designer, and went to college, got my education, went into design, and started working for major Fortune 500 companies, international corporations, went into corporate. And that took me really far. Carrying that belief, just work hard took me really far in my career. But then you get to a point where you're always running. You know, I was, I was always either running away from myself or running towards something that was always outside of me. So that's when I started having moments of little breakdowns like exhaustion because I was always performing, always doing, I loved what I was doing, but I was always doing something that was out there trying to just work hard. So it got to the point where I knew I needed to take action. So I got help. I hired my own coach. I was doing a lot of personal development work. And then I started realizing in time, wow, there is something deeper here, there is something more here. And eventually, to answer your question, that led to my journey of actually starting my entrepreneurial journey, in addition to staying in my corporate career and having both with a lot of work on myself, a lot of really diving into shatter, limiting beliefs, holding me back shatter and overcoming things that were getting in my way, coming back to myself, living for my authentic self, and then stepping into a place where I want to give back, I want to share this, I want to guide others on what my journey has been, which led me into my entrepreneurial world. And now, because I feel like I'm really living my purpose, I feel like I can have both and not feel the exhaustion, not feel the overwhelm that I used to feel years ago.

That's amazing. And I know, Susan, you and I have spoken so much about the importance of self excavation, and it's something that both you and I value highly. I'm wondering, would you be willing to share with us one of those. One of those main limiting beliefs that were really, really standing in your way that you had to overcome to become the amazing success you are today and to be able to really show up as your best self and not only your entrepreneurial career, but also your professional career?

It was a lot of little aha moments along the way and on the journey. And there's two that stick out strongly in my mind. And one of them was I was going through a really difficult time. And as an artist, as a designer, as a creative, some of my time would be, let's go to the art museum, let's go to art galleries and really connect with nature. Going outside, moving your body, connecting with art and dancing, whatever that is. But this particular time, I went to our art institute, and I was walking through that day, and as I was walking through, you know, and I've been there many hundreds of times before, it was kind of dark that day, and the shadows were there, and it was. It was. It's always cold in a museum to preserve the artwork, but that particular day, it felt extra cold. And as I was walking through this particular gallery, there were all these suits of armor. And, you know, those medieval times, and you see the movies where they have, like, these long poles and they're beautiful and they have a whole collection of them. But on this day, this suit of armor, I was studying it, and then I was looking at this, and I thought, wow, this suit of armor is something that I've been carrying around, metaphorically speaking. I was looking at this, and I noticed it's beautiful, but it's covering up. It's There for protection. People fight wars in suits of armor. They're there to win and to protect themselves. And I'm looking at this and I'm thinking, wow, I'm having like a God moment where literally like if anything can incarnate in that moment, it was incarnating because I looked at this and you could, you only saw the opening where the little eyes were like the slits. And I'm thinking, nobody can see in. You don't know what's inside there. And you've got this heavy suit of armor that's cold, I'm sure it can be hot and it's heavy and it's exhausting. And in that moment, I recognized within myself, I'm like, wow, this is me. I've been carrying this around for decades because here I used to think I would have to suit up and carry this around and protect myself and not truly be seen. So when I realized that, I thought, wow, I am going to ditch this suit of armor and exchange it for my birthday suit because I can no longer go on. So really coming to the place of authenticity and recognizing and starting to feel my feelings fully, it just, it poured through me like I've never experienced before. That was one moment when I had this life changing, transformative moment that I can't do this anymore. And this was a perfect metaphor for how I was living my life. And it was so painful before that.

It's so unique that you say that because I'm sure for a lot of listeners out there, there's a lot of moments that hit them exactly like that. Whether it's driving down the and reminiscing and thinking about something or on vacation and it comes up or it could be going through their own art gallery and they're like my own aha moment. But what you did is different because you actually took action on that. You actually then took it 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 next steps to be able to now actually be living in that. And so for people that often are struggling with taking that next step or being able to then implement that, what were you able to do that allowed you to harness that aha moment and then take the further action to make that your new reality?

Yeah. I think change happens in two ways. And the first way is these aha moments. And we can have big aha moments, medium small aha moments along the way. And it can become so painful to be the way you're being that literally you're to the point because you're so broken, you're so lost that you literally Cannot go forward because you literally cannot. Like mentally, physically, spiritually, everything is broken. And that's where I was at at that one particular moment. The other way change happens is tiny daily actions, tiny daily steps that you take. It's kind of like shifting slowly versus these aha moments where you can have that type of change and that type of transformation. So in that one of those bigger aha moments, for me, looking at the suit of armor, realizing, wow, that is me. That's what I've been carrying. I was so lost at that point, so broken that I knew I had to take massive change because I was literally. I could not go on. I couldn't imagine another day living the way I was living now.

Is that going back to you? I want to go back to what you talked about, just hard work. And it is instilled in every single one of us from a young age. Just work hard and you're going to get what you want. Work hard and you're going to accomplish your dreams. Work hard and you're going to be going to get that job that you want.

The American dream, for sure.

It's Life of a salesman, Willy Lohman, the American Dream. Willy Lohman, who works himself to death trying to achieve that ultimate success. But we've now learned that it's just. It doesn't. That isn't the secret sauce to what creates success. It's not the secret sauce that gets you there. And stepping into that new reality and changing what a lot of us has been ingrained in us as a belief from a young age is really hard. It's a vulnerable place. It's a scary place. It's uncomfortable. And so how were you able to break out of that? And what was your story that you continued to tell yourself that put you in that direction?

Yeah, that is so good. Because who hasn't experienced working hard? Because that's what we grew up with. The generations that have come before us, they've achieved so much because they have worked hard and they've been able to obtain success, attain abundance, obtain whatever it is that they're going after. But here's the thing that's not sustainable. That took me far. It took me far in my career. It put me in leadership positions that have a lot of responsibility. And that was great, but it was killing me because that it's not sustainable. So I think a series of these little, little things over time was just continually wearing me down for years and years and years, coupled with, aha. Moments where I realized I was so far away from myself. That I completely lost who I was. I had forgotten who I was. I had to reclaim who I was and come back to myself. I mean, I was sick all the time. I was tired of being sick. I was sick of being sick. I mean, I would literally get 4, 5, 6, 7 upper respiratory infections a year because I was so run down. I mean, I would not sleep all week long. I was working all the time. And then on weekends, I would say 12, 14, 16 hours and not have any time for my social life. So when your life is just running on like this wheel and there is this energy and this momentum, it is hard to disconnect from that. But you get to a point where you just. It is so painful living that way that you've created so much momentum around, and you start having these aha moments that you're starting to wake up. It's kind of like when you smell the coffee. Wow. Beautiful. It's these moments that will jar you. They're moments that will wake you up to think about. There's got to be another way. And when you're down on your knees and you're like in a ball crying, you will find another way. In addition to the little daily things, you know, I had a coach. She was working with me and I was making progress. But I was so far gone into the world that I created. Living in my mind and going 50 million miles an hour, I couldn't see. I had no room for vulnerability. No room. I wouldn't even wear the color pink because to me it meant feminine and vulnerability, and that was a weakness. So I had to redefine success from a completely different point of view. And that was a fascinating one.

Yeah, that's. And that's, that's so. I mean, your story is so amazing, Susan, because ultimately, at the end of the day, what you did was you took ownership, right? You talk about, you're. You're referring to this pre ownership state where you have this, this shield of armor, you have this really hard exterior, you can even wear pink, right? I mean, hey, I so identify with that. And now I'm sitting in front of you wearing a massively bright pink top. But it's amazing that ultimately you stepped into this ownership state, which not only allowed you to be yourself, be who you were truly meant to be, but then all these other things come with it, right? Like you started off this podcast saying, I have the energy every day to work two jobs and I don't feel drained. Whereas prior, this pre ownership state you are on what you described at Hamster wheel of life. And ultimately that is ownership in and of itself. We have a choice. We have a conscious choice that we can make. Ownership is a mindset. And when we step into that new mindset, when we create those new beliefs, when we create those new habits, when we get that mindset, coach, that is when life completely changes. Now we all have our own process to that. We all have our own story. We all have our own version of that. What I would love to know from you is what would you say were your one or two most supportive and important qualities that you brought with you that helped you through your own process?

Yeah, I love what you mentioned about really owning it. And that fits so well with who you are as a team and individually within that team. Because that's how my journey was. It was really coming back and claiming and owning who I was without apology. And when you do that and to go back and what I brought with me was to authentically reclaim and own who I am without apology. And that will take me no matter where I go, like, no shame. Like I used to, like, stand outside my story. I used to not own some of the tragic things that have happened to me in my life. Now I stand right in the middle of it and I own it. And I get to write my own ending. I get to say how it goes. Nobody can say anything to me that I haven't already said to myself. So when you own it and you claim it and you name it and then you live it, it is the most empowering, empowering thing. So I think the number one thing, authenticity with owning who you are and owning it without apology. And I think another thing too is really coming back and really connecting into what I call source and really realizing that the brain and the mind is so powerful and how we all have gotten caught up in our minds. And when you can get out of your mind and you learn to come from a place of your authenticity and allow to come from that heart, space, place, wholehearted living, connective place. And then you can use your mind to serve you, to guide you, to be there as a support system that really has your back. That's another thing that has really, really served me well. But I had to learn those skills. I had to do it through my coaching, through personal development classes, through masterminds, through virtual classes, through in person retreats. You know, there's a whole bunch of modalities that I had to do and take steps, little daily steps and these big, big steps as well, to bring it all together, to bring me to the point where I am now to really own it.

Yeah. And I love that you bring up this idea of leading with your true self first and almost leading with your heart. And I'm really curious because from a stereotypical perspective, it doesn't really belong in the professional workplace. Right. And so at least that's what we think. Right. When we see the TV shows or your pre ownership state, I can't wear pink. I can't be vulnerable. How does that serve you in your professional career today?

Yeah, that is a beautiful, beautiful thing to really understand and to step into. Because really the old way of doing business is you put on your suit, you show up in your career and you're professional, but you don't exclude the parts of you that are open and connected and sharing and heartfelt, adaptable, all of these things, these attributes as a part of you. I really believe that in corporate things are changing, especially Covid's Common. It's waning and people are realizing what's really important. People are wanting to do things differently. People are wanting to be home, to connect in, to also be in the corporate world or the professional world, but also to live a life and to lead and to have a life professionally that better serves who we are just as a human being. So I believe there's this shift that's happening that will allow for a more empathetic, a more like what I call radical empathy, a much more humanistic workplace, either in the entrepreneurial world or the corporate world, whether it's a major corporation or small companies.

I think what I want to make clear to our listeners here is Susan's journey wasn't something that all of a sudden she woke up and had looked at that student and goes, oh, this is who I'm going to be. And bam, it happens there. She talks about the things that she's done, from reading books, to being with seminars, to hiring coaches, to doing online courses, to explor in a multitude of different ways that allowed her to open up this newfound sense of herself and this newfound reality that she knew that she could live in. And I'm curious to hear from you, Susan, how you lost your way, how you felt that this all of a sudden overtook you. Because until we realized that, hey, I've become who the world told me I should be, or I've become who, where, who corporate America told me I should be, or whatever it may be. And you actually lose who you are along the way. And it takes, it goes back to what we said. It takes a lot of hard work to Bring that back. But that ownership will pay you back in the end. 100x versus what you put into, Truly, truly will.

It will your return on your investment, what you, what you invested yourself, it will come back tenfold, 100 fold, a thousand fold. And it really is true. That's been my direct experience with it and my clients experiences. And I think to answer your question, how I really lost myself, it was a long, slow journey that took decades of just losing myself further and further and further, running away from myself further and further and further. And you know, as children we start off in life and you know, so grateful to have, you know, beautiful family and all families have their stuff, right? But the belief system that I had was just work hard like so many do. So it's, it's carrying that with you and then you create. And as you bump into life and you have experiences in life, some of those experiences in my mind I chose to shut down a little bit, I chose to go within and withdraw. And you know, I'm a very sensitive, highly feeling, you know, very passionate person. But as you're going through life and you're having some experiences, many experiences, amazing, but other experiences that are very hurtful or painful or disappointing. And as you experience these and you want to do well and you want to go out and experience life and you want to show up fully for your life, so you just keep putting yourself out there and you find the courage. But little by little over the years and getting in the corporate world and then, and then, you know, bumping up against some tough things there, putting on those suits of armor, withdrawing further into myself, shutting down further, manning up, you know, really going through decades long process of getting as far away from myself as you could possibly imagine, to the point where I didn't even recognize myself. And literally it was leaking out. I mean I was just, my body was shutting down. I was so sick all the time. But yet I would show up to work sick, got to power through this, we got to do this. There's no room for any of this stuff. And it was black and white, it was hard, it was cold, it was linear. There was not a room for compassion or anything. It's like, get in here, do this, we need this. Here's my vision. Let's go, let's get a team, let's make this happen. Go, go, go. And, and that's good stuff. But the way I was doing it, I was bowing to fear. I was not coming from my authentic place and space. Because underneath it all, here is the thing I really, truly felt after these life events and after this snowball was going, I really, truly, truly discovered that I thought I wasn't good enough, that I wasn't worthy enough. And it was so buried, I couldn't even see it. I am sure my coach saw it for 10 years before I could even recognize it myself. Back out of that had some big aha moments and it had a lot of tiny daily action steps and a lot of work on myself and the discoveries and the joys and seeing that there is a different way.

So one of our favorite questions that our audience loves to hear is a bit more about your story. So when it comes to ownership, what Justin and I have noticed in the work that we're doing is oftentimes there is a breaking point between that pre ownership and that post ownership. It could be a culmination of things. It could be something like, for me, it was Covid, right? For Justin, it was getting fired from the NHL. But what was it for you in your life that was that breaking point? Well, I know you told us about the aha moment where you were the art gallery, the suit of armor, all those types of things. But what was it about you and your life that fully brought you to your knees to say, this is not a reality I choose to live in anymore?

Yeah, I love that because it gives me a chance to share a couple of moments. There was a couple of moments where it was life changing for me. One of those was going through a really difficult time and going into the Institute of Arts and having this discovery and this metaphoric, you know, God moment that I call that was one of the moments. And I knew I had to do it differently after that, and pretty radically differently. And I started to. Another moment was, you know, after doing some of this work for a while after that, you know, I'm still, you know, I'm still bringing my. I'm still elevating, I'm still expanding, I'm still journeying through, you know, wanting to be an even better person the next day than I was that day. And there was another moment when, and I love to tell this, my husband's probably going to kill me every time I share it. But two things tied around this too, because, you know, at that point before, I always had failed relationships. I mean, I was previously married. That was a disaster. You know, I mean, actually, in hindsight, nothing's a disaster, nothing's a failure. They're all just stepping stones to success, right? But there was a moment I came home from work and my usually hurricane Self. And it was late and he cooked dinner. And as I sat down, you know, I like, threw the briefcase off, threw the coat off, sat down, didn't even notice the candles lit, the ambiance in the room, the music playing. And I'm sitting at the dinner table and he had prepared this beautiful food. I couldn't even smell it. I mean, I was so not even in my body or in my senses, and yet I was trying. So I sat down. I'm like, oh, this is going to be beautiful. Thank you so much for cooking this. And then immediately, you know, ont my day and discussions and he just. And I'm eating, like, just shoveling food, and he's just watching me and I'm looking at him and, you know, I'm being my usual self and I'm exhausted. And then he looked at me and he said, susan, can you just be here with me because I made this gorgeous dinner for you and like, I'm three bites in and you're already finished with your food and you probably didn't even taste a single bite. And oh, by the way, I don't report to you. And I went, are you kid? Like, what? And now it was another aha moment of how I was being in my life, in a relationship with somebody who just loved me and wanted to be with me. And I finally felt so blessed that I had attracted this man into my life. I'm happy we're going places, you know, we're together. It's joyful. And then this. And so, wow, that was another wake up call moment where I had to really step back and look at myself and look at the way I was bringing my work Susan home. And I'm thinking, wow, I really need to do some work here between home Susan and work Susan and really learn how to better integrate the two. But step back and then authentically be who I really am and just chill out. Like, really just own who I am. So that was another moment.

It's so unique when you come and you tell these stories because there are stories that everybody can relate to. Everybody can relate to coming home and being in another place or feeling like they're constantly working or feeling guilty that they need to constantly work, but yet feeling like they're being pulled somewhere else. Their value system is not aligned with the experiences which they're engaging in. And I'm so curious as to some of the boundaries that you set that worked for you, that enabled you to create now this rhythm in your life that allowed you to be this new person as you delve deeper into some of these strategies that you picked up and used.

Yeah, this is good. Because I want to share two things. One, how I handle it externally, but then two, how I handle it internally. And I think it starts first, internally, where I decided that I was good enough, I was worthy enough, I didn't have to go out and work hard to prove myself to anybody or anything. When I made the decision after I learned it was my birthright, that just being born and being here in this world is I'm good enough. I'm one unique individual that has a whole lot to share with this world. And I have a divine purpose. Right. So when I finally realized that, heard that, and decided and started living that I, in that moment, threw up what I call a red velvet rope policy around me and my life, where now I'm fierce for protecting my boundaries and my life so that way I can be valued and honored. And I will think of nothing of walking away from something that doesn't serve me or my highest good or align with who I truly am. And then beyond that and how that looks like on a daily basis or a weekly basis is I'm very intentional with my life, who I'm around, how I show up, how I spend my time. I'm intentional if I have downtime, I'm intentional if I'm working, I'm intentional with my days and how I spend my days. And so I design my calendar where I actually bake time in my calendar, where I bake the outcome with the meeting. So I'm very intentional when I'm going in. And it's not just spinning around. Sometimes you need to diverge before you converge, but then also very intentional about the outcome of the meeting. So that way I accomplish that and can move on. Because we have so much time in the day and you can never get time back. So I want to be very intentional how I show up and have that boundary. But then also within that day, I've learned for me to be the best Susan that I can be, to be of value for my clients, to be a value for my career, in my corporate career and the teams that I lead. I need to be rested. I need to be energized, I need to feel inspired. So nobody is going to give that to me. I need to go make sure I go out in nature to give that. I need to make sure I design in the time to move my body on a daily basis, whether it is yoga, weightlifting. I need to design in time where weekly my husband and I now we design our whole food, like every meal of the whole week ahead, and then we grocery shop for that. So everything is very intentional. And I have a lot of boundaries and intention for how I live and design my day.

Susan, it is so clear that you live in true ownership. You have amazing boundaries that lift you up and allow you to live in your flame, to really have energy in.

Day in and day out, instead of.

Constantly living in that dream state that you lived in. We're so curious, in a couple words or a sentence, what does ownership mean to you?

Ownership means owning who you are completely and unapologetically.

I love that. I love that. And now we know you have this amazing entrepreneurial career. Where can our listeners find you?

Oh, I love this. So my website is susanelizabethcoaching.com and you can find me on my website. You reach out to me there. I would love to hear from your listeners. And I just want to say thank you so much for having me on your show and being a part of your community.

Absolutely. Thank you. Thank you so much, Susan. And to those of you listening, success is different. Be different and own it.