Owning Your Life: From Basketball Star to Purposeful Leader with Doug Elks

When you understand who you are, whose you are, why you're here, and what your purpose is, you're way more inclined to do the things you know you should. And I think that all ties into ownership, because if you truly understand the power of the value you possess, God puts you on this earth for a reason. Ephesians 2:10. You're a masterpiece. And like he didn't. There was a mistake with you. You got to. You got to rest in that. You got to own that. You got to understand that you know, you're here for a specific calling, a specific purpose, and you shouldn't waste that.

This is the Own it where we tell stories of how everyday people made ownership theirs. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to the Own It Show. I'm your host, Justin Rothling Schofer. And if you are new here, I want you to go check out the past 300 episodes. We are getting close to. We're into the 300. It's crazy. It's crazy to just imagine that because I still remember the day. And Doug, I'll get into this in a second. Just jumping ahead. I'm super excited.

Let's go.

But I still remember the day where my first hundred episodes Germany listens I had on each of the 100. First hundred episodes.

How many?

Three.

Let's go.

Three episodes on every single episode or three listens on every single episode. Do you know who those people were?

I do not know.

My wife, my mom, my dad.

Come on, man.

And sometimes my wife didn't even listen.

It's where it starts though, man. That's where it starts.

And so now we're up to about 20,000 downloads a month, which is just amazing. And when we think about this, there's purpose and intention behind that. So go listen to all of those. And if they serve you in any way, shape or form, the only thing I ask is that you like it. You leave a review and you share it with somebody who you know it's going to impact. Because at the end of the day, if we can impact one body, one soul, one spirit, one mind, one body. We have done our job and so super excited. We tell stories of people who've made ownership theirs. And today I am super stoked to bring you this guest. Believe it or not, it's a new relationship, a relationship that was made possible by, again, another relationship. Steve Weatherford introduced Doug and myself. And it's just been so unique to see where God takes these things. And Doug, as a former basketball player turned entrepreneur, mission driven entrepreneur, I will say. And he's got several companies underneath his belt right now. He's the host of the AIM podcast. He's the finder founder of Kaizos, who is a supplement that really just looks at whole body health and wellness. And he, he's been down here for a week. We're getting ready to run the Miami Marathon on Sunday and was just at the redeemed event with me down here this past weekend. And so Doug, I'm so excited to have you in front of our audience and really tell your story, get it out there and expose you to our audience so that they can know a little bit more about you. But ultimately just feel your energy, your presence and help it to motivate them and change the way they do life.

Let's go, Justin. First off, thank you so much for having me on the show. I, you know, want to give you a little bit of praise. You know, you were someone that I look at and I see genuineness. I see a heart that is ready to serve. And to me that just gets me excited. Even you opening this episode up with just the pursuit of even just growing the show and how it started off with a smaller audience. But that tells me so much. It tells me that your heart's in the right place and you truly are doing this to serve and not to glorify yourself. So I'm really grateful for you, man. I'm excited to dive in and hopefully serve your audience in any way I can.

I love it. Doug, I said this to Elise where she asked me a question after the weekend. She goes, hey, so like, so like who, like tell me a little bit about the weekend. Like who's, who's, who stood out? What did you learn about certain people? And I said, doug Elks is super easygoing, super self sufficient and extremely independent. And all of those things are what I say make up a impactful leader, somebody who takes initiative, somebody who knows who they are, is confident in who they are, doesn't compromise, isn't trying to put on a show and it's just really self sufficient knowing that, hey, I don't need anybody else, I want other people. And so you're able to make a choice as to that. And so I want to honor you with that before we start because that's really just who you are and what you abide by.

Wow, I appreciate it. That's, that's super kind of you. That was a really great event. It was cool. We got to grow in our relationship a lot over the weekend and I had a lot of fun at the Redeemed event. So thank you for that compliment.

I love it. I love it. Doug, kind of step back with me a little bit here to pre ownership Doug, let's call it, because the Doug that we just talked about, who's confident in himself, laid back, a self starter, independent, a leader, probably wasn't always that way. Talk to me a little bit about your journey through developing and discovering what that version of you actually was going to be and ultimately has become.

Yeah, man, it's a great question. You know, I think what it really boils down to for me was growing up in a, in a pretty tough environment. I had a father who was addicted to drugs and alcohol. And as any kid, son or daughter like you desire a really strong relationship with your father. And I think that was hard for me to kind of be in that, in that environment. I'm very grateful. On the other side of it though, I had an amazing mother who worked super hard, gave herself just everything she could just to serve us and to make sure that we were taken care of. And I think growing up, my faith was very shallow. I would, I claimed Christianity. I didn't have an intimate relationship with Jesus. I would go to church because it was the right thing to do. But I'd read the Bible like a textbook. Maybe not even a textbook, but just a book. I didn't understand the magnitude of it being a living word from God. And I think everything I did in my childhood was trying to do the best that I could in that environment to lead myself, lead my brother, take care of my mother. But I had no mission. I had no real drive in terms of doing something bigger than myself. It was always to. Obviously I loved my family, take care of them first, but then it was all about me and just kind of surviving honestly. And it wasn't until I went off to college and was fortunate to play basketball where I really found the Lord and started to develop that relationship, which then gave me a lot of purpose in my life. But that's kind of how it started. And you know, praise God, he gave me some grace and had his hands on me during those childhood years. But I'm very grateful to now have an intimate relationship with Jesus where I can live each day with a purpose and a calling.

You talk about this survival mechanism that you had to establish to just kind of function and to be able to operate on a day to day basis. What did that survival mechanism become for you?

Well, you know, I think what it came down to is I was in this relatively rough environment and there was kind of there's kind of two ways you could go. You could go down that rough environment, rough path, and kind of start to follow in the footsteps of someone who goes before you, or you can make a change and make that decision to go in a different direction. And I was so scared, man. I was so scared to waste my life away. And again, this is this even before I really had an understanding of why I was even on the earth. But I just knew that there was more to life. There was more to, you know, I was capable of. And so I think when I talk about survival, it was like, I truly want to have meaning. I want to help people. I don't want people to be hurt the same way I was hurt. I don't want people to be affected the same way I was affected. And so what can I do in my power to attack each day and push through those hard times? And that's truly kind of what set up my foundation. And I truly believe the way that God works sometimes is he allows us to go through hard times, to build us up and to strengthen us, so then now we can go serve the person that we once were or people in a similar situation that we went through.

I've so often heard this concept when you think about the villain or the hero, and the villain and the hero are separated by one decision. Both of them are hurt people. The villain was hurt as a child. The villain went through something difficult, and they say, this person hurt me and thus I'm going to hurt somebody else. Whereas the hero says, I was hurt this way and I'm gonna change this so nobody else has to feel the hurt that I had. And I see you in the way that you move and the way that you go through this as like taking the. Taking the. The journey of the hero, taking the journey of. Of making a change in how you're going to show up and how you're going to do things. And I think for everyone listening out there, like the listeners, every single one of us has hurts every single one of us. You might. You might recognize and. And relate to Doug's story of growing up in a household that wasn't optimal, that wasn't favorable to really wanting to how you grew up. But what was the thing for you that chose you to be or that. That established or helped you come from a state of overcoming, basically choosing to activate yourself rather than to pour an excuse on why you were a certain way?

Well, I, you know, it's cool the way that I think God put basketball in my life, the sport of basketball gave me not only an outlet to. To turn to when I needed some time to just get away from my situation and go put it into something else, but what it also did is it allowed the Lord to put men in my life that I needed as mentors. I think the power of mentorship is so important. Having people that can go before you and. And help coach you and help teach you. And there were so many. There's so many lessons I learned about the game of basketball that were applicable to life and that I was instilled. I was. I was fortunate to be able to have those lessons instilled into me from powerful coaches. So I truly believe that my. My ability to overcome that situation was to be able to shift it in a direction where, you know, I was. I was building into that sport, which ultimately became a big part of my life up until, you know, my mid. My. My low 20s.

I love it. It's so unique when we actually take a step back and we look very retrospectively right, and. And reflecting on where we've come from, what we've done, where we are, that our path has always been paved. And the uniqueness of this is that God gives us the choice of free will. And so even though your path is paved, it doesn't mean you have to take that path.

That's right.

You have a bunch of other paths that you can go down. And either way, you choose to go left, you choose to go right. He always has a path that brings you back to the straightened path. And you've just chosen to have faith in where you're supposed to go and where you're supposed to lean into and how you really establish that. And so what. What skill set have you mastered? What skill set have you adopted to allow yourself to see, know, and understand what that path actually is?

Yeah, it's a really good question. I mean, there. There's a few that come to mind, but I think the one that I feel most excited to speak on is the power of building real, genuine relationships. I think this stems from one just having a genuine desire to meet new people and to find ways to serve. I truly believe the most powerful people that are really good at building relationships have a deep understanding of how you can serve before you get, how you serve before you gain. And that kind of came naturally. Honestly, I don't think I gravitated this direction intentionally. I think it came from the podcast. I've been podcasting since I was in high school. I've had three different shows. The one I'm on Now I've been doing since the summer of 2020, but the first one I was doing Memos phone on SoundCloud. I didn't even understand Apple, Spotify, whatever, but I just love hearing people's stories. I love connecting with people and then outside of their story. I love figuring out ways to, to try to serve them or bring them value. And so I think that's been a really powerful skill set that I've been able to develop and I'm still developing, but it served me pretty well in business and just helping people where I can.

So for our audience listeners out there who are like, man, I, I've heard this often. I've heard build relationships. I've heard serve the person before you get the ask you. A hundred thousand people get what they want. You'll more than get what you want at the end of the day. But what are, what are maybe one or two tactics or tangible pieces that you use to build genuine relationships in order to really make sure that that is something that is well established so that again, it is truly authentic. It's who you are. It's a bit, it's, it's about who you are and it's, it's in alignment with, with who you want to be. It's real, it's not manufactured.

Yeah, there's a couple of things I think it'd be really helpful for the audience to understand. Kind of the foundation of how I operate with this. I will never forget this story. I was working for a basketball company called Big Shots, and one of the guys that's partnered with him is Paul Biancardi. Paul biancardi works for ESPN. He ranks the top 100 basketball players every year. He does McDonald's All American game. He does Jordan Brand Classic. He is the guy in basketball for the high school players that are going to play in college. We had dinner one night and I was, I want, at this point in my life, I wanted to be a college basketball coach. This was before I chose the entrepreneurial route. And I asked him, I said, man, what is the secret to connecting with coaches and our networking? I said, what's the, what's the key to networking with coaches and getting in the right rooms? And he said, that's the issue. It's not networking, it's connecting. He said, you have to understand everyone wants to network, everyone wants to meet. Everyone wants to figure out, how can I get introduced to this person to serve myself or to grow what I'm doing? He said, if you can reverse engineer it and say no, my heart is in the place of, I just want to connect with them. What do we have in common, Justin? What are your hobbies? What do you like to do? You like to run? We're running this race this weekend. Like, there's so much more to you than what you can serve me in business. And I think when people understand that level of depth of understanding, how can you connect with someone on, like, a personal level? It's so much more powerful, and it will serve you so much better, because now you understand them better, and you're likely going to be able to serve them even more than you may be thought of. So I would say, tactically speaking, when you're able to go into a deeper level with someone beyond just the surface of, okay, what do you do for business? How can we exchange value? Whatever.

Cool.

How do you get on that deeper level? What are. How many kids do you have? What are their hobbies? What do you like to do outside of work? Like, when you can get on those levels with people, it just creates a more genuine bond and a friendship where you're able to leverage and I think really excel in the business stuff that you may be able to do together.

One of the things that you said that, like, just really hits is be interested, not interesting.

Yes.

And if we can come back to that, I'll be completely transparent. One of the things with relationships. Relationships was a real hard thing for me probably four years ago, just relationally broke, if you will, because everything was transactional. That was the. That was the world I grew up in. That was the world of the NHL. That was the world of kind of pegging yourself as to. You were a number, and there was always somebody that could be replaced. And it was, what have you done for me now? Or what have you done for me lately? That was the world you lived in. And it wasn't until I started to really crave deep, intimate relationships that I was able to serve people. And there's. There's nothing that makes me happier than being able to see what happened, like, this past weekend where 50 men came down from my life, and somebody said it. They were like, what's amazing to see here is that there's people as young as 27 and as old as 52, like, a spectrum of people that you've developed really genuine, deep relationships with, that you've served in a powerful way that showed up. You sent out 75 text messages, and 50 men showed up.

Like, it's amazing.

And so it's about serving people and not doing it for the transaction. And then When I started to lean into that. That concept that you just talked about and is truly connecting, truly serving, it's not in the moment that it pays off monetarily, but far, far, far in the future. There's so much that I've. That I have done for people that I've connected with that I trace it back three, four years later, and it's like, oh, my gosh. It was in that moment that the relationship was built, in that moment that you actually served this person, and in that moment that actually, like, you built this strong foundation, that something that benefited me came down the road four or five years later. And there was nothing in expectation. There was nothing that I expected to happen out of that other than I just love to see others win. And so that's just what I see from you in that. Give me. Give me kind of one other thing that you lean into when you're building deep relationships.

Yeah, that's. Well, first off, I will. But what you said is so powerful. And I think a lot of things we do in life, it really comes down to where our heart is and our heart posture is. And I think when you can. When you can align, like when you just told me you truly have a passion for seeing people win, that to me, shows me your confidence in Christ and what he's put inside of you. Because. And this is something I've struggled with, being super vulnerable. Like, there are times where I want to hold on to myself and I want to hold on to business and these relationships. And it's like, maybe I don't want to open up my network to this person because I have a fear of them going out and doing business and I'm not involved. And that is just. That's a scarcity mindset. It is so. Of the world. It is taking God out of it.

But I want to pause for a second because what you just said it. Can you say that again?

Yeah, the whole thing.

No, just like the part. The part on opening up your network because you feel like you're going to be left out. Like, say that again because I want that audience. I do not want this to go over your head. I do not want you to miss this. I want this. Like, hopefully when Doug said that, that made the hair stand up on this, on your. On your arms a little bit, or it made your tummy, your stomach turn a little bit, or it got you thinking. I was like, dang, that's. That's. I've got a little bit of that in me.

Yeah.

Because that is real. That is real. And I can't tell you how many conversations I've had with men and women over the last two, three years about this, because it's very few rooms that I walk into that people aren't posturing themselves, they're not preparing themselves, and they're not patient with actually building these relationships. And those 3Ps of posture preparation and patience is the way that you win. Because the heart's posture is out, the mouth will speak. And when we truly are have a heart of service, when we truly lean in a state of abundance, when we truly know there's more than enough time, more than enough money, more than enough resources for everybody in this world.

So good.

It doesn't matter who we connect with. It doesn't matter who we introduce. There, there, man. I can't tell you in the last week how many people I've put together that are going to do great businesses, great, great business things together. And somebody who all of a sudden needed something that this person had. And if not introducing these people, you're holding people away from their miracles. Think about that for a second. They have been praying for something, they have been needing something, They've been requiring something. And you were the vessel in order to draw the bridge that God is trying to use. But if you don't allow yourself to go there, you're basically squandering and holding back the miracle that's already been created, that's already been prepared. And once you lean into that, that is when you get to lean into greatness.

Wow.

Continue.

Come on, bro. That was so good, man. You know, I think my, my one little caveat to that is, is relationship building is an art form. I think it truly is. It's not a yes, no, black, white, and like in a box. Like, it's. There's so much more. It's. It's complex. And I think there has to be some level of quality control. You have to understand the, you know, where I'm at now with it is like, I truly want to understand the motives and the mission that the person I'm. I'm dealing with, it has. So when I'm connecting them or opening up my networker, you know, maybe, yeah, opening up some of my relationships. I understand the intended purpose of what that person's doing, and I think that's where you have to be cautious. But in terms of the hard posture of, oh, I just don't want to connect them because I'm. There's a fear in my. Like, that is. You got to remove that. And that's something I've worked through a lot and I'm still continuing to work through. And that's just human. That's just being vulnerable in human nature. But I feel like when you truly can give it all to God and say, God, look, I'm a, like, you are very, very good at talking about stewardship. And dude, relationships is stewardship.

That's all it is.

It's stewardship. It's like, okay, if God's blessed me to open up these doors and I'll be very. I'll be very clear and I'll give it all to God right now. The relationships that I've been able to form in these last few months, even within the last year, I give God all the credit because there are, There are rooms that I've been access, I've been gained access to. There are people that have said yes to doing things with me that never would have if God was not involved. And I can't take credit for that. And so now I have this obligation, I have this responsibility to be a good steward of what God's put in my life. And that is me giving it all to him and removing that, that tension, that, that fear that, that mindset that's not of him and how I. And how I leverage those relationships.

It's so good because when you come back to that concept of stewardship, it's realizing that nothing you have is yours. Those relationships that you have, they're not yours. You don't own them. Those are a gift to you. And how do you open that up? It's no different than what happened today, where all of a sudden we get a. I get a phone call and I have an opportunity to go and have dinner with David Meltzer. And you and I had dinner scheduled for tonight. And I was like, hey, what does it look like if I was to bring one of my buddies down? And he goes, oh, yeah, no problem. So we're going for an intimate dinner with David Meltzer and getting into a room that I'm more than happy to open and bring you in because I know who you are, which is why it is so important. You just talked about it. That alignment comes before assignment. And I think so many people try to go off of their agenda. What do they want to do? What did they want out of this? And there's assignment driven and alignments can come later. I don't know the character of this person. I don't know the value sets of this person, but I know that I want what they have or I know That I want to have a relationship with somebody that they know, and I'm going to lean into this. But at the end of the day, it creates dishonesty and fragmentation of the relationship and resentment, and it blows up because there wasn't alignment first. Right. And if alignment is truly there, you've got everything. My. My Rolodex is an open, open book to you. Anybody I can connect you with, you let me know, because I want to be able to do work for you. I want to serve you, I want to love you, and I ultimately want to impact you in a powerful way. And that's when everybody wins.

I love that. That's so good, man. And I think, too, you think about, like, the people take, you know, look at it from both sides of the. The coin. Like, look at both perspectives. If someone's coming into your life and all they're doing is asking things of you, they're making things very transactional. You can feel that there's a very shallow element to the relationship where they don't even really. They're not invested in who you are as a person, but they're invested in what you're doing from a business standpoint. Like, those are a lot of red flags. So on the other side of this, if we are trying to develop relationships, if we're trying to get in rooms, we're trying to be in front of people, we got to have that mindset. It's like, how can you give? How can you bring value? How can you encourage? Maybe you don't have a lot of relationship equity, and maybe your value is positivity. I want to surround myself with people that are constantly being positive, and they're giving me good energy. Like, that's. That's a form of value. So find that value. Whatever that is for you. Wherever it stage you are in life, there's always value to be had. Maybe your value is serving them. Maybe your value is serving them in a way that it's not monetary. Like, you never know, but you gotta. You gotta bring value to the table.

I love it. I love it. Doug, as you kind of go through this and you've learned really how to navigate and manage this, what is your.

What is the.

What is this next step for you? What is the next evolution of Doug Elks in this season look like, man?

It's a good question. I want to continue to pray. I want to continue to pray. It's funny, like, you know, you feel like you have everything figured out, and then the Lord just continues to move you, and I Feel like he's given me a lot of peace with the podcast. I want to continue to do that. It's a way we're able to serve our audience. It's the way I'm able to use it as a ministry. Honestly, it's not a Christian podcast, but I share my faith. I'm able to pray for, you know, guests that come on, whatever. You know, he's opened up a lot of doors to speak, doing some more public speaking with some FCAs and some things like that. And I feel like that's a place where he can. He can use me, but I just want to be in tune to the spirit. Wherever he's guiding, I think there's going to be some ways to do more stuff. Community driven, you know, bringing guys together. I have this really kind of deep desire to lead men. I feel like I'm kind of in that phase of my life where I'm. I'm still young, but I'm starting to step into this new. I'm starting to step into this season where, like, I do feel like I. I have a little bit of experience where I can help some younger guys, you know, guys in their low 20s, just start to develop stronger morals and stronger, maybe disciplines in their life that can help them. So that's where I'm at for a.

Guy that lives in ownership. So. Well, we asked this of all of our guests. What is your definition, in a word or phrase, of ownership?

Yeah, I mean, I think ownership is truly understanding the calling and the value that's on your life. I think, you know, when I talk about. I love talking about motivation because everyone's always like, you know, I want to be more motivated, or, you know, you run 100 miles, you do whatever. Like, you must be super motivated. I'm like, no, it actually is discipline. And they're like, okay, I understand discipline. It's doing, you know, the thing that you know is right even when you don't want to. But I think there's a deeper level that we can unpack, and that's truly value. That's understanding the value you have on your life. When you understand who you are, whose you are, why you're here and what your purpose is, you're way more inclined to do the things you know you should. And I think that all ties into ownership, because if you truly understand the power of the value you possess, God puts you on this earth as for a reason. Ephesians 2:10. You're a masterpiece. And like he did, there was a mistake with you. You gotta you gotta rest in that. You gotta own that. You gotta understand that, you know, you're here for a specific calling, a specific purpose, and you shouldn't waste that. And so I think that's kind of how I tie ownership in with discipline and understand the value that I have on my life.

I love it. I love it. So, so good. So, so good. Where can people find you? Where can people lean into? More about Doug Elks? Really leaning into everything that you're doing, everything with Kaizos, everything with AIM and everything that you've got going on.

Justin, thank you, man. I, you know, social, it's at Doug Elks. My. My website's dougalks.com for speaking opportunities. Kaizos is K I Z O S co. Kaizos co. And yeah, I mean, I'm most active probably on Instagram, but I'm excited, man. I'm excited. I'm grateful for you and I'm excited to build our relationship and friendship. And I fully support you and your mission and own it. And so I'm really excited for this.

Very, very cool. I love it. Guys, as you move forward, realize that no matter what you were born with, no matter what situation you came up with, that's not who you are. It's just a circumstance. And you can make a choice. You can make a choice to have that as your excuse, have that as your narrative, or you can make that your activation. And as you choose to activate, you realize that you're able to step into this new level of you, this new opportunity to build genuine relationships, that relationships are the equity of life. And that whoever it is that you align, that's ultimately what you're going to become. And so, as you establish these relationships, making sure that you have to be interested in people more than you have to be interesting. And if you can truly abide by that and go to the deep levels, go to the places where it's truly connecting, not networking, that is going to allow you to get into rooms, get into places that you're meant to be. And when you step into a room, trust, know and believe that you're meant to be there. Trust, know and believe that you belong. Trust, know and believe that you can have an impact on somebody in that room because you're there or for a reason. We know success is different. So own your different. And we'll see you guys next week.