ADHD, Lazy, or Human?

I can think. Hi, everyone, I'm Katie Sard. The buttons were slow. They weren't following up. I wasn't sure. I started the video and then was like, oh, it's not going. I might as well start my branding video. And then it started. So. Hi, I'm Katie McManus, business strategist and leadership coach. Honestly, that was probably the best start to this video on this topic because I'm talking about adhd. And if you don't know this, I have adhd. I have my whole life. Gotten diagnosed early on as a kid, wanted to make sure it was the right diagnosis for me. In, I think late high school, early college, I went and got diagnosed again and then got diagnosed again as an adult. So a triple diagnosed over here. And also have never really understood what it meant to have ADHD until TikTok came around. Thank you very much, TikTok creators. You have enlightened me and made me so much more forgiving of myself now. Growing up, I was told that I was easily distracted, that I had a hard time focusing and all this stuff. And sure, yeah, like, yes. And also, no, that was not always my experience. Because here's the thing. If I'm interested in a thing like, you can't turn my focus off, you can't get me to switch gears away from it. I am so hyper focused in a thing. And really what ADHD is, it is a lack of ability to regulate our focus. We can't regulate when our focus gets turned on and when it gets turned turned off. And I can tell you, as an entrepreneur with adhd, this is both good and bad in running a business. It's good in that I'm running a business doing something that I really am passionate about and I love dearly. Okay. So it's really easy to get sucked into what I'm up to and to, you know, just be fully immersed in that. It's bad in that running a business, you're always going to have to do some stuff that you don't like. It's just nature of the beast and those are really hard for me to accomplish. So I want to talk about how this showed up for me when I was younger and how I make sense of it all today as an adult who runs my own business and my own life. So one of the things that I used to get really overwhelmed with when I was a kid that stayed still happens today. Jai. And I hope I'm pronouncing your name correctly. Yeah, thank you so much. So one of the things that used to happen to me when I was a kid in school is that when a teacher would give me a massive project and they, they wouldn't single me out and just give me this project. Everyone would have this project specifically. I remember Ms. Flint in, I think it was seventh grade. Oh, I'm sorry. No, it was tenth grade biology class. She gave us this quarter, quarter long project for biology class. And we were basically supposed to put together a giant binder of information and. Hi Steven. Welcome. Good to see you. A giant binder of information on this topic. I don't remember what the project was. It was such a massive project. Like the idea of breaking it down into smaller bits and prioritizing which bits need to go first and all this stuff. This project was hell for a person with ADHD or anyone who has a neurodiverse brain, because what it required for you to do is to go through all the information about doing the project, use your brain to, to process at least what needed to be done and then prioritize what needs to be done first, second, third, fourth. Because it' it didn't seem to go in chronological order. There are things that needed to be done out of order. This is incredibly hard for someone with adhd. Okay. One of the things that I have the hardest time with is when I have to prioritize actions. Okay. How this shows up for me in my life today is that if I have to meal prep, if I have to meal prep and the dishwasher is full of dirty dishes and my sink is full of dirty dishes also, because also I don't finish things when I'm done, like, you know, cleaning up after cooking. It's just not how my brain works. That's enough to stop me in my tracks. Like if the dishwasher is full of dirty dishes and I haven't run it yet, like I'm going to run it, but my dish, my sink is still full of dirty dishes. That's a lot of work. And I've already committed myself to doing the work of cooking the food. Well, now I've been stopped in my tracks. Right, let me see. Have you ever thought that the things that aren't able to focus on are things that are boring to you and don't actually stimulate you? Yeah, no, that's actually exactly what I said in the beginning of this. Yep. Yeah. So people with adhd, we have the ability to hyper focus on things that we're interested in, but things that we're not that interested in. We just don't have any interest in this like, it's just. It's really hard for our brains. It actually takes us more energy to do stuff that we don't enjoy doing than stuff that we really enjoy doing. Stuff we love doing. Like, takes no energy at all. Okay. It's one of the reasons I'm on LinkedIn so often, honestly, is because I enjoy being there. Places where it's more work for me or it doesn't feel as natural. Like, clubhouse was hell for me because I didn't enjoy being there. It wasn't something that format of connecting with people, like, just doesn't feel cool to me. Like, I don't know, I like being able to either see people's faces or read things, connect, you know, be on camera, rather. It's. It's weird. I have more comfort being on camera and speaking live than just being my voice and speaking live. Um, so anyway, so. So how this happens in your business is that you have all the activities that you love doing, right? You absolutely love doing certain activities. And then there are other activities that, like, maybe you haven't done before. Like, maybe you're about to launch a group program. This honestly happened for me in my. In my business. My. My big group program, byob, I delayed and delayed and delayed and delayed launching that just because it was a big group and I hadn't done it before. Like, the parts weren't familiar to me. And so it just felt like this big, arduous task to get it to put together and launched and invite people to it. And, you know, for people with adhd, we. We get into this weird cycle with ourselves after the fact that we kind of, like, start punishing ourselves because we see everyone else able to do work that they don't like doing. We see everyone else being able to plug into work a little bit each day and get something done, blah, blah, blah. And that's just not how our brains work. Okay. And especially with something that we're, like, a little unsure of, and it feels like it's more work for us. It's really a vicious cycle because you get into this mindset of, oh, well, I'm not doing it, I must be lazy. There must be something wrong with me. LinkedIn users. Yeah. So perfectionism is actually a thing to do with adhd. I'm getting the sense, and I don't think this is your intention, but your questions seem to be leading to trying to convince me that, like, I don't have adhd and I don't know if that's your intention or not. I don't know your name because your privacy settings are different. But one of the things that is really hard for neurodivergent people is when we get questions that are trying to convince us that we're not like neurodivergent, it actually gets us kind of upset. So I don't think that's your intention. And I'm obviously naming this and wanting you to know your impact that it could have on other people with adhd. But perfectionism is also an element of adhd because one of the things about ADHD is that we have hyper focused. We are actually really quick learners about stuff that we are passionate about and we love, and so we tend to be good at them really fast. I'm super, like, case in point. I took a sewing class today. I finished an hour before everyone else. Okay. I have a little more experience in sewing, but like, the actual project, like, I banged through it in like five minutes. Okay. I left and I think everyone else was still just starting. So, yes, perfectionism actually is a portion of adhd. Jai. And Jai, please tell me I'm naming your. Correct your pronouncing your name correctly. With adhd, the hard thing is consistency with the hyper focus. Any tips on this? As an entrepreneur, you definitely do have adhd, by the way, as I'm nodding along as much as I have whiplash. Okay, well, we don't want you having whiplash. So maybe like put your head up against a wall so that you're not like, you know, bobbing too much. Consistency with hyper focus. I mean, this is honestly what I'm struggling with today. This is why I'm going live on this. So with hyper focus. So here's. Here's where we get stuck. Okay. People with ADHD actually just don't have enough dopamine. Right? We don't have enough dopamine. And so everyone else is going around saying, tackle the biggest project I of the day first thing. And that's how you get things done and that us up. Okay. Because I've. I've been holding myself hostage. Like, let me just show you. This has been my ADHD nest today. Like, I'll be totally honest about this. I've been drinking out of my ADHD water bottle. Like, this is the only water bottle that I really drink water out of. Except for a mason jar. If I don't have this or a mason jar, I'm probably like massively dehydrated. So here's the thing. Dopamine is that feel good chemical that in and chemical and hormone that gets released in your system when you get things done right for neurotypical people, if you do a big thing, you get a huge dose of dopamine. You feel super on top of the world. For people with adhd, we don't even have enough dopamine in the beginning of the day or in a day where we're tired to even, like, get ourselves motivated to get up off the couch to go and do that big thing. Okay, so shy. Here is the trick that I have come up with for myself. You can try it for yourself and see if it works, is I actually have to do smaller, less intimidating things that are and give myself credit for doing them as I go along. That gives me a small drip of adhd. I'm sorry, of dopamine, not adhd. I already have that, like, in plenty. Gives me a small drip of dopamine. So, for instance, like, I went to the farmer's market today. I went to a sewing class. I put my groceries away, unloaded my dishwasher. I'm cooking some stuff currently. We might even take a trip into my kitchen because I think the timer is about to go off on something because I forgot that I was cooking something when I went live here. We have to give ourselves a little drip of dopamine before we tackle the big stuff. Okay. Going live for me takes very little dopamine. It's something that I so in love. I so love doing. It's fairly easy for me. I do it all the time. It just doesn't take a lot of energy for me to do that. Some of the things that I'm working on in my business right now are scary big things that I have never done before. And there we go. That's my timer. We're going to go. We're gonna go on a little tour of my messy apartment and we're gonna. Let's see, is it ready? That's the question. I'm just gonna turn everything off. That'll be easier. Okay. See, this is like the quintessential ADHD person. I usually have this far more managed during the week because I'm taking my medication. But really, we have to build up that dopamine. One of the things that I like doing is halfway through the morning or halfway through the day is I like to make a list of everything that I've done so far. And I like just crossing everything off. Like it's a to do list for the past. Just cross it off. It gives me that dopamine drip that I need. That'll help me tackle those Bigger tasks. So. Sean, evening from London. Hello. Yes, we're. We're all good here. I hope you're doing great, too. Great tip. The best way to explain it is like a video game where you only have so much energy, brain power, and if it's used in the first part of the game day, then there's nothing left in the tank. Well, yeah. So, yes and no. So, like, it's almost like you just don't have enough energy to even pick up the control to play the video game. The cool thing about dopamine is that it just builds on itself. So if you do do a difficult thing in the morning, this is why people with ADHD typically say they like working out in the morning, because you've just done something and you can cross it off your list. My mom likes to call working out in the morning as being morally superior for the day. I agree with that. I think everyone who works out in the morning tends to be morally superior, but whatever. But you just keep building off of that. Now, there does come a time where, you know, you're human. You're a human being and a human body in your little human meat suit, you're gonna run out of energy. And that is not adhd. That's not you being lazy. That's you being a human. Okay? We can only accomplish so much in a day. We can only be so creative in a day. We can only do so much. We can only exert so much energy. Okay. Before we need to rest and recharge. Okay, this is. So when you have adhd, there's this inability to regulate when you're going to have focus, hyper focus, or a lack of focus. Right. The happy medium is when you kind of figure out how to hack that so that you can kind of tap into your focus whenever you want. And these are just some tips, like, honestly, that I do pretty. Pretty much every day is my whole morning routine. I have pre printed on a little piece of paper that I did up on Canva. And as I do each thing, from, like, making breakfast to brushing my teeth to walking my dog to writing something for LinkedIn, like, I literally just go and cross it off the list. And that gives me enough of a dopamine drip to get me onto the next thing. Oh, and hi, Gabriel, welcome from Brazil. Hi. Now, if I do that enough, I'll build up enough dopamine that I can go and I can play that video game that I can go and do the hard thing. And I'm saying video game kajai. That's Your example, I'm not actually a video game player. Anyway, it's funny how when I do an ADHD type show, I get super adhd. Like, I start getting distracted and I give myself permission to kind of go there. So anyway, so as you're going through and you're doing all that stuff, like the bigger thing that you've been kind of avoiding because you haven't had enough dopamine for it, you're building up that dopamine so you're going to be able to do the harder things later in the day. I have this, this theory that this is why a lot of people with ADHD tend to be night owls and tend to be those people who like, stay up all night and write papers, or stay up late and do an art project, or get a burst of energy in the evening and rearrange all the furniture in their house, which I do all the time. It's just something that is chemical and we can't help. And if you can hear that, I gave my dog the old peanut butter jar that's plastic so that she can chew the rest out of it. It's kind of noisy. But anyway, some other things that happened. For me as an ADHD person, my house is super messy all the time. This is partially my executive dysfunction that makes it really hard for me to, like, plan out the steps of what needs to be done in a day. It's also like the part of me that has a really hard time following through on tasks, you know, so, like, if I'm trying to decide what jacket to wear, you know, I go into my closet, I pull a couple jackets, I try them on. My brain doesn't go to, okay, now's the point where we put the jackets back. My point is, great, we're dressed, we're gonna leave now, and those jackets will just be out in the open, wherever I've left them, probably for the next week or so until I think, oh, yeah, like, my house looks like a crazy person lives here. I should probably put some stuff away. The other part of this is not putting things away is an ADHD trait. If you have one of those like crazy person desks that's messy and has post it notes everywhere and has like the stack of file paperwork that you're like, I don't want to forget this, that this exists because it's important and I have to do it, but I don't want to do it right now. The reason you're not putting it away is because you know that if you put it away you're going to forget that it exists, right? You're gonna forget that it exists. And that's normal. That's an ADHD thing. We have a hard time with object permanence. When things get put away, they stop really existing to us. I once had a boyfriend who he, like, you couldn't have sweets around him because, like, he just couldn't help himself around sweets. And he's over at my house one night, and we'd had dinner, and we're just kind of hanging out, watching a movie and. And he's like, do you have any chocolate? And I was like, I don't know. Let me check. And so I go into my cupboards and I pull out this bag of, like, lint truffles that my mom had given me for Christmas two years ago, two years before, and they had actually expired. And he's like, looking at this bag, and he's looking at the expiration date, and he's like, how? How do you have a bag? And he knows me like, I'm a big chocolate person. I love chocolate. Like, it is a miracle that chocolate exists in my house that I haven't eaten yet. And he was like, how did you not eat this yet? I was like, honestly, because it was put away. You know, my roommate at the same time was always going crazy with me because I would leave things out on the countertops, not because I was trying to be messy, but because I didn't want to forget that they existed. Anyone who's ever lived with me, my refrigerator, the drawers in the bottom, you do not put anything in those drawers unless it won't go bad. So that means, like, sparkling water and condiments, okay? Fruits and vegetables do not go in those drawers. That's where fruits and vegetables go to rot and die. Okay? So that's the normal part of having adhd. Like, being distractible, being easily distracted is not a big part of it. Is not a big part of it. It kind of is like in our. In our conversation styles. And it's probably noticeable to neurotypical but people. And that's probably why it's high up on the diagnosis thing, because it is noticeable to neurotypical people. In our personal experience of adhd, being distracted is the least of. Is the least of it. It is like, that is why a lot of people with ADHD are so grateful to creators on TikTok right now, because we're listening to them describe how they live their days, and it's like, oh, my God, you understand? We're so sick. And Tired of reading diagnostic lists that don't feel at all like our experience. Like putting something in the freezer to cool it. Quick, quicker, for a few minutes. Yep. It stays in forgotten until you open the freezer again the next day. Yes. And if it's a bottle of wine, I'm so sorry, but it's probably gonna break, right? Oh, my God. Yeah. So, you know, being forgetful, procrastinating, messy house, having executive dysfunction moments where, like, you can't even move because you're like, I have so much to do, I just can't even tackle any of it. That's all normal. Okay? This is literally what my morning has been. And actually, it's not even morning. It's 4:46 in the evening now. That has been my day. And one of the biggest challenges for folks with ADHD is that we have to have grace for ourselves. We have to, like, notice when it's happening, remind ourselves that we are not lazy, that we are humans in human meat suits that just happen to not be good at producing dopamine on a regular cadence. And we have to do certain things to start that cycle for ourselves. Okay. It doesn't mean that we're broken, doesn't mean that we're lazy. It doesn't mean that we're less than. It doesn't mean that we're stupid or any of those bad things. Just means we're different. It just means that, you know. You know, just like someone who's short needs a step stool to get to the top shelf in the kitchen. You know, we need our own little step stool. You know, just like someone who's really, really tall might need, like, knee pads so they can, like, get to the bottom shelf of stuff in the kitchen and making that up. I don't know any tall people who do that. Anyway, I hope this is useful to you. I hope if you have adhd, you know, that you're not alone, that this is just a normal thing that happens in. In the lives of all of us. And yeah, it's. It's just part of how we are. And also the things that we procrastinate on, they can feel like the end of the world. Like, if you don't do them, they are the end of the world. But here's the thing. If they actually were like life or death, we would do them. It's not like we're putting off stuff that's completely urgent. We're putting off stuff we just don't feel like doing. And really, honestly, like, that's. That is One way to prioritize. Because if it can be put off and if it can be put off, our odds are it probably doesn't necessarily need to be done right now. The most hilarious anecdote I saw on TikTok about distraction with ADHD. Someone boiling water in a Panda rinse out and clean their outdoor bin then but then forgot so ended up doing making pasta. Yep, yep. That, that particular one has not actually happened to me, but I have, I have definitely like boiled water with my electric kettle and forgotten what I was doing it for and made tea because I was like, oh, there's water. I guess I wanted tea five minutes ago. I don't remember. Sean. Great live vlog alternating making me smile. Oh, good. I'm so glad, Sean. That's. That's the goal. Anyway, I'm gonna leave it there. I think this has been enough ADHD for those of you who don't have it and for those of you who do, I hope this has been a little reassurance that you're not crazy, you're not alone. The struggle is real. If you're going to want to hear more about ADHD and being entrepreneur, I'm actually launching a podcast October 16th. It's all about being an ADHD preneur and I talk about business strategy and how to hack the ADHD part of it. It's going to be a lot of fun and on all the podcast places that you can imagine. Anyway, I'm going to leave it there. Thank you so much for joining me this Sunday. This is day 11 of me going live every in September. It's also the 11th of September. Funny how that works. I will be going live again every day this week. That's part of it. Going live every day of the month. And if you have any questions or any topics that you'd like me to go live on, please put them in the chat or DM them to me. And I would love that inspiration because coming up with topics every single day is a lot of work. Anyway, I'm Katie McManus, business strategist and leadership coach. Jai Sean Gabriel, LinkedIn user and Steven and whoever else was watching, thank you for joining me today. I hope this is entertaining and helpful and I will see you all soon.