Asking for what you want

I can taste yo, yo, yo, yo I can taste yo, yo, yo I can taste I can taste yo, yo, yo I can taste Y. Education. Hello and welcome. I'm Katie McManus, business strategist and money mindset coach, coming to you live today with via the Facebook, LinkedIn, YouTube, Twitter, and Instagram. And by the way, if you're curious how I do all six of those, I do the first five on this amazing app called Streamyard. I highly recommend it. It is better than other streaming platforms that I've used in the past. And I do this really fun thing where I balance my phone against my computer, my laptop screen so that I can go live onto Instagram as well, because Instagram, for some reason, doesn't sync with all the other things anyway. Hi, welcome. Tonight, I want to talk about wanting. Okay. Wanting is a concept. So here's. Here's basically how we're programmed in our world, which, I mean, let's. Let's, you know, face it. We've all survived up until now, right? So this isn't necessarily wrong, but it's not everything we can have. We are trained from a very young age that we. It is okay. Okay to ask for what you need. It is okay to ask for what you need. And hi, David. And hi, Sandy. Welcome. But when we ask for what we want, we get called a whole, whole bunch of names. Nice. Caesar. Welcome. We get called. We get called selfish. We get called greedy. We get called money grubbing. We get compared to awful archetypes in the media like Miranda Priestley from the Devil wears Prada, Scrooge McDuck, who, you know, just gathers all of his gold coins and does, you know, the backstroke through them. By the way, like, wouldn't he have, like, the most defined back muscles from doing all those backstrokes? I always think about that. And so what we end up doing in our heads as we grow up, as we become adults and as we start, like, living actual lives out in the world is when we think about things that we want, we start checking it against. Well, is that realistic? Could I do that now? No. Is it likely to happen with my life as it is right now? Probably not. And we basically deflate our own balloon when we do this, right? So I want to use this example. So, like, maybe, like, you want, maybe your dream car is like, the Porsche Macan, right? It's a really, really sleek little suv. Maybe you live in a city, so you need something that can be parked easily. And you're looking at it and you're like, oh, I just would love one of those. But then this voice in your head's like, well, do you really need it? You know, because you need a car that can get you from point A to point B, right? Maybe you need a car that, like, can fit your dog in it and some. Some luggage and some friends and all that stuff. Okay, cool. So it has to be a certain size, but that's kind of expensive. It doesn't really fit in with your income right now. It doesn't fit in with this. And quote, like, why don't we downgrade what you want, you know, to something that's more realistic for you right now. Right? So let's focus on you getting, like, a used RAV4i. But what happens in that. In that whole conversation that you have with yourself is you lose the juice of wanting you. You lose that, like, that fire, that burn of, like, I just really want that. Like, it would feel so good. Like, I don't know if you've ever been in a Porsche Macan. Like, the buttons in the control center, it's just. Oh, like, you don't even have to look. You can just feel everything. And, like, you've turned on the air conditioning, and it's magical. It drives really well. I don't have one. I don't have one. I'm really bad with cars. I. Maybe someday when I have someone who can, like, clean them in detail for them, for me, I would actually invest in a good car. This is just for an example. But here's the thing is, when we steal things from ourselves, when we steal the wanting from ourselves, we deflate all of our drive, we deflate all of our creativity. Because anything we want, we can have. I'm a firm believer of that. Anything we want, we can have. And. But we have to want it. We have to want it enough to find a way to get it. We have to want it enough to get creative, to tap into resources that we have to maybe tap into our networks and figure out how we can get it. Okay. We're never going to get it otherwise. Okay. If you don't ask for something, you're not likely to get it. You know, it's kind of like winning the lottery. Like, you have to buy a ticket. You can't win the lottery if you don't buy a ticket. You know, ticket. A ticket is a prerequisite to winning the lottery. So here. The. Here are the main things that we use against ourselves when we're trying to figure out, like, what we want. And, you know, deflating it and making it realistic is one is we use reality. We use reality against ourselves. You know, we'll use the example of the fancy car. You want a fancy car? Great. You know, you look in your bank account, you look at your income currently, you look at a whole bunch of things not realistic right now. And so you throw that dream out and you don't focus on it because it's not realistic right now. You. You want a house that maybe is outside of your budget. You want to live in an area that, you know, is really, you know, elevated from where you are right now, but real reality doesn't check out with it. And so we don't let ourselves even want it. You know, we may think about it kind of in the back of our minds like, oh, it would be so great to live there, to have that kind of house, or to, you know, maybe have like a. A super fancy piece of art or whatever. But then we don't focus on it. It's. It's not. We don't prioritize it. We don't give ourselves permission to want it and to go after it. Okay. You know, you're not going to trip and fall and be married. It's just not going to happen. That's not how marriage works. If you want to be married, like, you have to go out and you have to date people and you have to, like, pursue people and you have to, like, work at being in the relationship with that person. And at some point someone has to ask the other person, will you marry me? And, you know, hopefully they say yes and you end up married. It doesn't happen otherwise, okay? It doesn't happen unless you start asking for what you want. It doesn't happen unless you give yourself permission to want that thing. You know what? Like the anti rom com that had Rebel Wilson in it. I can't remember the name right now, but, you know, she's like anti rom com. She's anti romance, and then she ends up in a romantic comedy and she's like, oh, my God, get me the hell out of here. You know, she was never going to end up in a relationship if life hadn't, you know, sent her into this, like, wild world. She was just going to continue being anti relationship and, you know, that's it. She wouldn't have gotten what she wanted through this whole thing. She realized what she wanted and then realized she had to ask for it. Right now we don't actually have to know what we want. You don't have to. Like, if you're. If you're sitting watching this right now, wherever you are, whatever time it is, maybe this is the recording and you're thinking, like, I don't even know what I want, then it's okay to say, I want to figure out what I want. Okay? This is Law of Attraction 101. Because as you're training your brain, I need to figure out what I want. Your brain is going to start scanning the world and be like, I don't want that. That sounds terrible. And that also doesn't sound good, but that sounds cool. Maybe I'll ask some questions about this thing over here, and maybe that's something that I want. I'm going to start exploring it a little bit more. But you have to give yourself full permission to want it, okay? And wanting is not the same as expectations. Wanting something is not the same as expecting it to happen and then opening yourself up to that major disappoint when it doesn't happen, okay? Wanting something is, at its core, being passionate and moving towards it, okay? And overcoming any obstacles to try to get it, okay? Wanting something does not always guarantee you're going to get it, but it makes it a fuck ton more likely that you're going to get it. So the first way we kind of deflate our own wanting is reality. We do the reality check and it just doesn't work out in our heads. The math doesn't add up right now, and we just kind of wave it off. Now, the other thing is we have this major fear of rejection, okay? We are so afraid of people saying no to us, and we're afraid that, like, we're going to go after something and fail, okay? So it's. It's failure and it's rejection that we're so terrified of. Let me tell you something. All the good things in life come after failure. All the good things in life come after rejection, okay? If you're a parent and you've raised kids and they're, you know, adults now and they're thriving, I. You'd be lying if you were to say that you did it all perfectly. You would be lying through your teeth if you said that you were the most amazing parent and you never upset, okay? You absolutely screwed up. This. This person that you created is this magnificent, strong, independent person because they got to see you screw up, okay? And they got to see you do better as a parent, and they got to see you do better. And they got to see you do better. You are not going to get to that point unless you actually put some effort in and fail occasionally. And Also, being rejected is just a part of life, you know, I don't know. I mean, you go into a cafe and you ask them if they have decaf coffee, sometimes they don't. That's a rejection. You know, you could go and ask someone out and they might say no, and that's a rejection. You could ask your boss for more money and they could say no, and that's absolutely rejection. I think where we take rejection too far is that we are afraid that if we're rejected, it'll mean that we're not worthy. It'll mean that we don't deserve the thing that we want. It'll mean that we're not worth the money that we think that we're worth. And that's not the truth. Okay? Just because someone is saying, no, I'm not willing to give this to you right now, or I don't want to be with you. Says nothing about you, okay? You're deserving and worthy of everything that you want. The only thing is that if you really want it, you have to find a way to get it. You have to find a way, a creative way to make it happen. And lastly, I've already kind of touched upon this, but sometimes when we really, really want something, we sabotage ourselves from getting it because we actually don't believe that we deserve it. I see this a lot with my clients. There's. And I'm about to launch this wealthy Winnie's program. It starts next Wednesday. I'm so excited about this. But so often our relationship with money, like, we believe that, like, we're worth a certain amount and that's it. And it's usually like the cap that you've ever made, like, I'm worth X amount and no more. You know, sometimes when I work with a client who comes from a background in a career that is typically underpaid, like a teacher or a nurse, one of the qualifying questions that I will actually ask them before I accept them as a client is, are you willing to make more money? Are you willing to ask for more money than you've ever made before? Because if they're not willing to, their business probably isn't going to go anywhere. If they're not willing to just believe that they might be worth that amount of money, then their business isn't going to go anywhere. So here's what I want you to remember from this life. I'm just going to summarize everything. You have full permission to want whatever it is that you want. And just wanting it is not the same as get it right now. Wanting it is finding a way to it. Finding a way to bring it to you. Okay? Full permission to want whatever it is that you want. Because here's the beautiful thing about humans. We are resourceful as fuck, okay? If we really want something, we're going to find a way to do it. You know, we can be creative and resourceful and we can tap into our network and we find a way, but only if we've given ourselves full permission to really want it. Okay? Secondly, if you're afraid of rejection, go and get rejected for everything. You know, if 100 days of no, I forget the guy's name. He was terrified of rejection. And he went and just asked, you know, for something that he knew he would get rejected on for 100 days in a row. And it was insane things. Like he would go to a burger place and he would eat his burger and then he'd go up with the wrapper to the counter and he'd be like, hi, I would like a refill burger, please. And the people would be very confused and they'd be like, excuse me, sir. No, like, we don't do refill burgers. What? What do you mean? He's like, oh, well, I just figured I'd ask. He'd go to random people's houses with like a potted plant and ask them, can I plant this in your yard? And they'd say, no, you can't plant that in our yard. And he'd say, oh, well, why not? And, you know, he was surprised that sometimes they'd say, oh, well, you know, we just don't have good light in our yard. It'll die, you know. But our friend down the street, you know, at this number house, like, they have great lighting and they are really avid gardeners. Go and ask them, maybe you can plant that plant there. You know, you'll be amazed once you start, like, putting yourself out there and really desensitizing yourself to rejection, you'll see like, it actually doesn't mean anything about you. It's just. It's either just not the way it's done, it's. They can't envision it for themselves or whatever. So go and get rejected. Go and get rejected by everyone and everything. Just go. Fail, fail. You know, if you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough and fail at big things and little things. You know, if you've. If you are scared of trying something and failing at work, then start at home, you know, try making a souffle. That's hard you know, try knitting for the first time. That's hard if you've never knit before. Try to train your dog some tricks. You'll probably fail at that. I know I have. And lastly, know that you deserve everything. Know that you are intrinsically worthy of everything, of everything that you could ever want. And doesn't necessarily mean that you'll get it. But the fact that you're not getting it does not mean you're not worthy of the things that you want. Doesn't mean that you're not deserving. You are. You deserve every good thing to come to you. And sometimes just not believing it is what prevents those things from coming to you. With that, I want you to stop being a weenie. And I want you to start asking for what you want because you deserve it. And you can find a way to make it happen. I know you can. If I can be of any support, you know where to find me. And I wish you an amazing evening. Um, it's Thursday. I am going to be going live again tomorrow, so I look forward to seeing you then. I'm not sure what time, but I'll let you guys know. And that's all she wrote. I'm Katie McManus, business strategist. Money mindset, coach. I hope you have a great night, and I will talk to you all soon. And this is the awkward part where I have to end the broadcast on my computer and on my phone and I. Not good. I'm not good at multitasking, so I'm gonna.