Brave Biz Lab 2024 05 31

Hello. Hello.

How are you doing?

Good. How are you? Good.

I definitely called my mom and told her about what you did. Oh, man, that's awesome.

Yeah, I'm not.

I'm not the one to, like, verbally have all of these cool things to say.

I. I like yours better. I like. I get so uncomfortable.

So.

Welcome, everyone. Happy last May.

Ah.

What are we celebrating this week?

Completion of the posting challenge.

Yes. Yes.

Amazing.

No one died.

Tbd.

The day's not over yet.

True.

What else are we celebrating?

I have an odd celebration. I'm celebrating cutting off one of my sales calls after the 30 minute mark. I was like, time is up. It was already not going well. And, like, I wanted to end it, like, five minutes in, but I was just, like, being me. I was like, I want to provide something. But the whole thing was just kind of nuts. So 30 minutes came up, and I was like, okay, 30 minutes it is up. You know, nice meeting you.

Bye.

Yeah.

Yeah. You know, I just want to double click on that because that's such a great litmus test for how someone's going to be as a client is like, swing over, and they aren't saying, oh, my God, we're going over time. Is that okay? Like, not. Not a good sign.

Yeah. Yeah.

Also, I think I need to start canceling the appointments before, when I already know that it's not a fit, because I like to try to still provide something, which is why I just still, like, get the call. But, like, that one was like, okay, maybe I shouldn't do this anymore, because it was just, oh, my gosh.

Yeah, we all need that one to, you know, tell us it's okay to cancel.

Yeah.

Congratulations. That's a great one.

Thanks.

What else are we celebrating today?

Oh, I have a client starting next week on the 7th.

Yvonne, congratulations.

I'm like, I'm. I'm cautious. Right. Of, like, it hasn't happened until it's happened. But have you had them?

They sign the agreement, all that jazz? Or is it.

I've sent them the information, and they said, you know, starting the first of the month. So I sent it after our call. So I'll probably. I have it, like, an automatic reminder set up on the invoice, like, a day before. So I'm trying not to be overbearing.

Yeah. And, you know, it takes. It takes a little while to realize that you're allowed to say, this needs to be paid by this date or paid by this date, and this needs to be signed by this date, and it's allowed to Be before they actually start. Yeah. But congratulations. Not but touch.

What? Yeah.

Or knock on wood, I. I spent a lot of time with British people. Anyway, what else are we celebrating?

I have a few to share. So, first of all, with that NGO that I provide, offered slide and scale. Finally. I remember that term. They really like chutzpah, you know, audacity without any limits. So I'm so proud that I didn't get into. Because I send the contract under the proposal. It was also tricky to come up with the right pricing. And based on what they were told me, it was 20,000 shekels for the first three months. And then they should be able to get additional donation of $20,000 to finance this project, which is one full year. I know. And I put it together in three months. And three months, like I was thinking how to do it. And then she told me, because it's a mother and her son who with a disability, that it's without VAT the first 20,000 shekels. And I said no. And she said she started and she's quite. I think it's the, like, this is why God sent me this client to. To start being super brave about my pricing.

Yeah.

Because she pushed me to the wall and. And I learned it from my training coach. When she increased her prices, she came to us and said, this is my new price. I would definitely understand if you don't want to proceed. So this is what I told her. I'm afraid I have to draw a line. And it's. The ball is in your court. I said, the ball is in your court. It does not include vat. I'm afraid I have to draw the line. So it is your call and I would understand if you don't want to proceed.

Yeah.

So it was like, it took a lot for me. So that's a huge, huge win in terms of money mindset and so on. I had an amazing workshop with.

So did she go forward paying the vat? She's down for that. Or is she deciding?

So then it continued and I created a WhatsApp group with her son. And her son jumped in and said that he would make sure that he would pay the VAT from his personal money. And she was like, what do you mean? Not from the fund, but from your first personal money? And he said, yes. And then she said, Dina, question mark. Waiting for me to jump and say, no, no, don't do. Course I didn't said, you're well. And I. And then I was. To tell you the truth, I was expecting for it to be signed and returned to me already, because I booked already two more sessions to call on boarding calls with her and her son next week, and they didn't. And I followed up. I said, I called and he. And he texted me that it's just in the process of the lawyers. And I said, I would like, you know, just keep. Please call me back. And I got on the phone and I said, I just want to make sure that it is not, you know, it's just with the Lawsons with logistics, perfectly fine, because I did book off time with you for next week and it's nothing else. And if it's something else, I would like to invite you to have this conversation. And he said that it was just the logistics of it.

That's fabulous. Congratulations and well done.

Thank you so much. Thank you.

Yeah.

Yeah. So that mindset of. That's it, you know, I'm here, I'm doing it, and I'm so grateful that I have clients and thank you for the.

Yeah.

It's funny, it's the people who ask for discounts that always ask for more discounts and more discounts. And it's. It's why we don't discount our rates, like, you know, when our businesses are fully functional.

Yes, right.

As you're growing. Of course. Like money. Yes, please. Thank you.

You know. Yes, yes, yes. You're right. Yes. And it's the first cash in the door, so. Yeah.

Amazing. Oh, I'm so happy.

Thank you so much. And I have a great strategy and thanks to you, it's so much clearer what I'm doing and explaining when I put the title Strategy audit and Redesign. So the strategy masterclass actually turned into a mini strategy audit audit, even without the redesign workshop with that investor. We sat for four hours and like, he had the most aha moments. And he asked me to send him a proposal, which we will.

That's amazing.

Yes. That I would like to ask you about it next. And last but not least, I created because it's like my product is really changing since I worked with you and. And with the whole action. I was supposed to do the first workshop today with Chris Lamas, and he was delayed crossing the border from Moldova to Romania, so we had to cancel. But he. He's super. Even though it's pro bono, he's super committed, devoted, never canceling, always delivering on time, all the materials, really dedicated. And he felt so bad and I said, don't, because I created the structure already and it's a. Not an easy process. I feel like I am. It's stepping into the unknown. I don't plan the workshop because I don't know what will happen and I don't know if it resonates with others, but it's just that you create something and then you for whatever they decide. So I'm happy. And the third one day challenge that we completed. Oh my God. Yeah.

So like this energy, like, let it snowball. Just continue doing everything that you've been doing.

Okay.

Keep going with this. Right? Everything you've been doing. That strategy that you had of like reaching out to companies that were hiring to this role. I think that works.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I have that call with that asset management in a few weeks, so. Yes.

Awesome.

Need to follow up? Yeah, sorry. Yeah.

Want to make sure we get to. Lauren. Lauren, any celebrations? I don't know if you can talk right now.

Hi, I can talk. I'll be on camera in a few minutes. I have. I have a bunch of celebrations also. Yeah, it's a good week. So I had a potential client sign up for a call who was totally not the right kind of client for me. I sent him a really nice email and told him why he wasn't the right client for me and recommended the type of coach he might want to look for. And he emailed me back and he was like, it's so nice of you to cancel this call and not have us spend our time. Thank you so much for getting back to me. Do you have any specific coaches you'd recommend for X, Y and Z? Yeah, so I recommended two people and he thanked me and it was like lovely. Like it was like a good karma exchange.

Yeah.

So that was one thing. The second thing is I'm a partner to a new company called Gen X Nation that is for generation X people. And we're building this community and there's going to be training and all of that and membership community. And we want to start holding weekly events. And it was initially suggested that we do like the same time and day every week. And Saturday was the day that they brought up. And Saturday is like my I don't work day unless I'm being paid money to speak at a conference. And so I said no, that I don't work on Saturdays. And they were all like, okay, Which was amazing. And then the third thing, which is totally personal, is that Katie knows I have a very tumultuous relationship with my parents and they're planning a visit down which is. Has its own complications. But I finagled it. So it's the same weekend that my brother is coming down. So I won't be with them by, by myself.

Yeah. Oh my God. Amazing. Like great boundary setting and great protecting yourself like on all.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Yeah, thank you.

Your time feel like in a, in a very positive way.

Yeah.

Owning, owning a boundary you have around your time, like and then having it be respected.

Yeah.

You know, we, we attract more of what we tolerate.

Yeah.

You know.

Yep. And my mom was pushing for a week that totally didn't work for me. And I was like, I'm just, that's not going to be a good week. I can't do it that week.

Yeah.

Yeah.

They could always come down when we're in Orlando.

Well, that was the first week that she picked and I was like, I'll be out of town. And then she picked a week where I have an all day training and I know my body and it's in person and I'm. I know my body and I know like I will not feel well after that and I'm planning for that. And she was like, oh well we'll come down the day after. And I was like, no, that's not gonna work. So, yeah. Pretty great.

Yeah.

Congratulations.

Thank you. Can I just say that Katie is helping me with setting boundaries as well. I see it every day. Yeah.

Is anyone here not working on setting boundaries? That's the main part of starting a business is learning how to set boundaries. Like what's your. Everything else is golden. Right.

I do want to hear about your birthday. Cold dms.

Oh my God. I got this weird ass. I actually sent a screenshot to Lauren. I got this weird ass DM from someone. She's a real estate agent out of Chicago. And I didn't register that she'd sent me like the same ish kind of thing last year because like I got so many. I just went through and copy pasted thank you to everyone. But this year like for some reason it caught my eye cause I had a video attached and, and so I said, what's your birthday wish? And she's like, watch this video. And it's a video of like her three or four year old son like playing the piano. Happy birthday. Like not, not like to be on camera though. He obviously like isn't aware that he's on camera. And then she was like, if you need any help with your real estate needs, give me a call. Here's all my contact info. And. And I was like, like I feel like this child's being exploited. And then I, I messaged Lauren, she was like, oh, child exploitation, great. I was like, yes, thank you, thank you, validation. But she did the same thing last year with a different video. And it was like him in a car seat as like a one and a half year old and she's opening one of those birthday cards that sings and he's just there, like.

Like, you.

Know, he's a kid. It was just, it was creepy. It was creepy and gross. And it wasn't the only.

Atrocious.

Yeah, but that was the only one with child exploitation. And, and it's like, it's very clearly a copy and paste something that she shares and the public video on YouTube. I'm like, there's so many pedophiles out there, you know, like, why are you sharing this about your kid?

You know?

And then you texted me, what if she kidnapped that child? And I said, for business reasons.

It's like a tax write off. You get, you get to write off the ski mask. And anyway, yeah, so that was the thing. That was, that was the one. And it was just, it was real weird and real uncomfortable. I actually asked her to stop contacting me.

So. Yeah.

Anyway, um, what questions do we have today? Oh, and I want to, I want to actually touch on something first, you know, and I want to start creating more space for this in the calls. Like, you know, this is a community where everyone gets to support each other. It's not necessarily a marketplace where we're pitching to people. But you know, if you're, if you're launching something, if you're promoting something and you're wanting to get in touch with ideal clients, like, full permission to say, hey, everyone, this is the program I'm launching. Do any of you know anyone who needs this? And, and no pressure to, to use your network to help anyone, but if you do know someone and you think it would be a good fit, like, you know, we're here to like a rising tide lifts all boats. Right. And so full permission to just say, this is what I'm working on. Does anyone know anyone? Okay, cool. Monica.

All right, so this kind of fits the theme that sales call that I had with the not ideal clients did ask for like recruiters or HR professionals that would be a good mentor to ask additional questions. And I'm like, I, I told him. I was like, I. I can't think of one off the top of my head. But now that I'm thinking more about it, I'm like, literally, I don't even know like, how to go because, like, you don't just Say, like, oh, you know, contact this one recruiter and they'll be able to help. Like, there's like, what's your goal? What company do you want to work at? What? Like, it's not that easy. Also, this, this person is 20 years old and like, way ahead of the, like, oh, I'm not getting any, you know, interviews. I'm like, Nobody's looking at 20 year olds. Like, you're still in school. And so it's like he's. He's just like. I see a little bit of myself in him, like, trying to be super prepared. Right. But I don't know exactly what to say. Like, I don't have any recruiters that I can like, necessarily point you to. Yeah. Like a general.

You're.

Here's the permission that we. All right. Is just saying, you know, that's not actually how that works.

Yeah.

Recruiters aren't out there just trying to mentor people. They have a fucking job to do. They have numbers to hit. You know, hiring managers aren't out here to mentor 20 year olds.

Yeah.

You know, unless they're in a very specific program that they've decided to volunteer their time. Just not how it works, you know, and to say, you know, it sounds like you're looking for an internship.

I was just gonna say, unless he's looking for an internship recruiter, which those exist.

Yeah.

Okay. Like a specific internship.

Yeah.

But I mean. Yeah, it's just you get to be the expert and say, that's just not how that works. And also, I mean, he's 20. This is just a virtue of being a poor college kid. He's a freebie chaser.

Yeah.

Essentially, that's it.

Yeah.

You know, if you sense someone is just trying to get your expertise out of you in that sales call, you. You got to like, kind of shut it down. Do you get to say, cool, it sounds like you're really wanting support here. Are you wanting to start coaching, you know, in the next month? Like, what's your timeline? And if they get squirrely about it, you can say, cool. Are you looking for a coach right now? Like, you get to call them out because remember, this is your fucking business. They walked into your store and they asked for your time. Like, you're not out here giving advice for free. Right. If people want advice for free, they can watch your LinkedIn learning know training.

Oh, thank you so much, Yvonne.

Oh, thank you. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah, that's.

That's helpful.

Yeah.

Yeah. You know, and I think also the, the questions you've added to Your. Your intake form are going to be helpful too. Yes.

Yes, they have been already. Yes. Thank you so much for that.

Um, if any. I know. Dina, I. I give. I asked you a question about your intake form for everyone. Like, whenever you want feedback on something, the easiest way to get feedback is to put in a Google Doc. Right. Because otherwise it's like, how do I point to whatever and just to design. I'm actually bringing in a copywriter to help me with editing because I realized I gave you all a ton of writing and then offered to edit it all. So my turnaround until I get someone onboarded might be a little longer than it usually is. So just be prepared, you know, get me stuff sooner rather than like, last minute deal.

A new, different copywriter. Right, because you just had like a live on how the copywriter you hired was not it.

Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, he wasn't even really a copywriter. He was selling copywriting services, but he. He doesn't know how to copy. He doesn't know the basics of copywriting terminology. So this is a legit person who I've actually used in the past who's incredible. Yeah, yeah.

And I didn't want to bother you on your birthday with that link, so I refrained from messaging you. And then I got the action. And so we'll do it today. Thank you. On the Google. I will put it on Google. I forgot.

Thank you. I ask you all just trust me to keep my own boundaries with time. You don't have to, like, sit down, safeguard my weekends or my birthday.

It's like, it's a.

This is very difficult. People pleasers.

Oh, my God. We were talking with Carrie that we're so grateful that you always call us out. You never. You never let it sleep unnoticed. So. Yeah. Yeah.

So, yeah. Just to notice in yourself.

Yeah.

Anyway, what other questions do we have today?

I don't have a question, but I wanted to share an observation with this 31 day challenge thing. And I really liked the takeaway that Clara had today in that it's not us finding our voice, it's just us amplifying our own voices to kind of like bring ourselves out. And like, you always say you want to, you know, get with the people and they want to say, like, oh, you know, you sound just like you do in your posts. And that's like the ultimate success. And so I've kind of been struggling with that during the whole challenge because it's a new writing style. So I feel like I need to be a new version of Myself or whatnot. But then I've kind of been tweaking it along the way and I did do kind of like an old style, like how I would have written previous posts, you know, pre May. Right. And I felt like it was bad because I was like, well, you know, it does kind of incorporate what I've learned, but it sounds like the old style, Monica. But then I got so much engagement from like people that appear to be like potential clients, like ideal clients and not just the supporters of my work in my community and all of that. And so I am kind of seeing, seeing like how to incorporate the two now. So just thank you for that. It's been very helpful.

Oh, I'm so glad. Yeah. No, and it's, it's exactly that. You have to figure out what works for you. Yeah, right. And for your audience.

Yeah.

But you can't do that in, in a vacuum. You can't do it in a closet by yourself in the dark.

I think this is perfect. Yes. Yes.

Awesome. What other questions or observations do we have today?

Yeah. So I need your help to do pricing for Daniel from right for Unity. So he's an investor, build themselves multiple companies and his chairman, blah blah, blah. And now he founded this NGO called right for Unity. So it is again for an NGO and like what I showed him in that workshop, that he actually didn't see the reality as it is from the outside. And he realized, I mean the frustration grew. So. And then he said that he would absolutely want my guidance to get into not only the audit, but the redesign. It's still the audits. It's not complete fully because it was just that version. Right. So. So it's a project. It's not a 12 months commitment or anything of that sort. Even though I can offer him also like an investor relations case. Like so instead of investor relations or donors, in his, in this case it will be sponsors. So just like investors to pitch.

Okay.

Okay.

I just want to, I want to back it up because I feel like this is separate information from what you're asking for pricing.

So. No, it's actually part of the pricing. So I'm not explaining.

Okay.

So there is a strategy for the organization that needs to be done. And also I can offer him in addition to the strategy, sponsorship relations, which is like best relations, which includes the presentation, the pitching and so on. In addition. Yeah. And then now also very important to note that he shared with me and I've built relationship with him over the last few months. I met with him couple of times time Spoke to him on the phone. He participated in my, in my market research. He is a man of integrity. So not just like, you know, not a bulldozer type. Very human. Very. And he said that normally he, like he started reassuring Medina, just give me the price. And normally I would always say to the service provider that you're not charging me enough so I will increase. So like he's, like, he's fair. And I, you know, I don't know.

Even how you actually know the answer to this. I don't need to give you this answer. What do you charge?

I don't know because I never even build the pricing for strategy yet. I only.

So, but you know the proposal that we sent out previously with that breakdown of pricing, you're going to do something similar.

Yes, yes.

Yeah, so, so you want to think about when you're building on a strategy, for instance, what is the impact to the organization if they have that strategy and how many hours is it going to take for you to do.

Okay, so that's the same, the same as previous. Yeah, yes, yes, yes, yes. Okay, yeah. So, but I all, I don't know.

Okay, so then, okay, just vomit out all the guilt you have about asking a non profit for that amount of money. Just vomit it at us. Give it to us. Come on, tell us what a terrible, awful, greedy, you know, bad person you are.

I just, it's like I was, I'm stuck. Don't even say that. That's block. I need to get him get rid of it.

Okay, so here's, he's a man of integrity, all of things. You get to go to him and say, here's what I normally charge. I know it's a lot. If you need me to dial back in any areas, let me know. I also love what you're doing. So like if you can't afford this, let's like there's, there's room for negotiation.

Okay.

No, you get to go in that way.

Okay, so the only reference that I get is for that tech company and I offered them for the full package was the organization Strategy and the department strategy for $90,000. Yeah, yeah. And we actually didn't price, so. Okay, sorry, what, what are the other two options?

Well, okay, so it's hard for me to tell. Like I need you to map it out for me in, in like a proposal. Like what are the options in your mind? Because I can't come up with it on my own. Like I, I, I need something to base it off of.

Yes.

So just vomit it all into A document and we'll, we'll edit it together.

Okay. Yes, so much. It's just that I'm stuck with the first option. The first option says that it's of three calls a month, but it's not relevant in this case, so I don't give it.

Sign it. So redesign it.

To what? I don't know, what does he need?

Like, if you were to, if you were to like step in and give him exactly what is going to be most impactful to his business, what would that be?

The full strategy for the organization.

Well, so map out what that looks like. Set the guilt aside. If you, if you just had free reign to come in and change their fucking lives, what would you do? And then what would be a dialed back version of that? And then what would be like a steer on steroids version of that? That's your program, right? That's proposing. Right? You're. I can see what's happening here is like you have guilt and like you're so worried about how much it's going to cost for them that you're holding yourself back from really dreaming. What would be most impactful for them. That's not helpful for them. You worrying about the money in their pocket is not doing them any favors right now.

Oh, yes. Okay. And can I share something really? Like, you know, I meditate a lot and I was thinking about my blocks and so on. A few days ago, I woke up in the middle of the night from a memory from being a child. Like, I mean, it's not a dream from something that my parents went through. Like a big, like it was a drama relating to money. So which is a good thing that I at least can clean it out. So. Yes, I'm aware of that. And just in terms of the figures, so the strategy, I don't know if it's 30,000, 60,000 or, or what.

Okay, so map out how long it'll take you, you know, an estimate to, to map out the strategy with them. Okay. And then we can reverse engineer it from there. Okay.

Like.

I know, I know. Like we, we normally start with the amount that you want to make, but you're feeling too much about this for us to do that. So let's start it with how much time you're going to be doing on this.

Okay. So we'll do it straight after the call. Okay.

Yeah, yeah. So just like start vomiting information into a Google Doc. Organize it, send it, you know, post it in a heartbeat, and I'll go through and take a look.

I think I have It. It's just that I don't know what's going on. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Thank you.

Yeah, it's.

It's hard.

I am actually. I have a sales call with a nonprofit today, and it is awkward to, like, charge your normal fee because, you know, they're doing some really good work in the world. And also we have to remember that for them to do really good work in the world, sometimes they need to hire an expert like us.

Yes. And he said that he believes that these things needs to be paid for, and he saw how much I invested already, and he just for, you know, one hour interview and. And. Yeah.

Yep. Yeah.

Okay. Thank you. And will you have a chance to look into that today? Because I have a call with him on Monday.

If you get it to me in, like, the next couple hours, then I will. Yeah. Yeah.

Cool. Awesome.

What other questions do we have today?

It. Now I'm asking you as a money mindset coach. I felt from that instance that I shared, I felt guilt that I didn't stop my father from making that. Miss that mistake, even though I was a child and that turned us into debt. So how. Release that guilt. The blame for myself. Yeah.

So, okay, so like, childhood stuff. Like, I would push you to talk to your therapist about a lot of it. Right. Because so much can go into it. It could actually, like, oftentimes what happened was you didn't feel safe.

Right.

And when a child doesn't feel safe, that. That is trauma, even. Even if it's not someone hitting you or something really like, violent happening, you didn't feel safe in that moment, and you didn't feel like your family was safe. Right. So I want you to talk to your therapist about it. You know, there's looking at how it shows up for you in the today, you know, what are all the instances in which you feel guilt? You know, and this is for everyone. You know, we all have some guilt around money, you know, so this may be a really good exercise to do this weekend is make an inventory of all the situations where you feel guilt. Do you feel guilt when you go out to. To lunch with someone and they order like, a lobster roll and three glasses of wine and you had a Caesar salad and a nice tea. Do you feel guilt saying, hey, do you mind if I pay less? And we don't split. Split it, you know, evenly because you had a lot, you know? Do you feel guilt asking your clients to pay more when you raise your rates? Do you feel guilt if you're at the grocery store and something was Listed as one price, and it showed up as more. Do you feel guilt asking them to, like, look at it and bring it down to what it was? It was, you know, marked as. Do you feel guilt not giving to charity when you walk past someone asking for donations? Right. And once you make this list, go through and come up with, what is this statement? Like, what is the belief that it's tied to about who you are? Right. Does anyone have an instance that immediately comes to mind?

I don't have a ton because I did a lot of money work years and years ago, but one that I still catch myself and I've gotten better at, especially when it comes to family. Like, not giving money to family.

Yeah.

Right. So, like, for example, my. My brother, he and I are very close, but very different lifestyle. He often finds himself in really bad problems, and. And a lot of times I've bailed him out.

Yeah.

And I just. In the last year or two, have had to, you know, to. To stop. And probably in the last six months, he asked for money again. And I said, you know, I love you. I'm sorry this is happening. But you always figure it out. I'm sure you'll figure this out too. And. And I just left it at that. Right. Because he also doesn't necessarily outright ask for money. He kind of manipulates it or, like, throws it out there that he really needs some help. And I've had to get really good at, like, not jumping in to save.

Yeah.

But it does, like, I. I feel some guilt.

Yeah.

Our childhoods were. I'm 10 years older, so our childhoods were significantly different.

Yeah.

I've done a lot with my life. He has taken a different path, but it's not my responsibility.

Yeah.

But, you know, when the guilt is playing up and you're, like, in it, what's the belief it's activating about you?

Yeah. Almost like there's a couple things. Almost like I don't deserve to have what I have. Like. Like, I didn't. Like, somehow I got lucky, which isn't true. I know that. The other one is that I'm somehow responsible. And this. You know, we could go. We could go into deep therapy on that one. But, like, that's how I grew up. I had to be the responsible adult even when I was a child.

Yeah.

No responsible adults in my life. And so I just have this, like, heavy weight of responsibility for other people.

Yeah.

Yeah. So, okay, so those are the beliefs. And, like, when you're feeling shitty and guilty, it's not like you are Magically going to magic yourself out of it. Right. So, you know, when you're doing this inventory, making the list of the moments that activate guilt for you, then listing off what are the beliefs that come that it comes from. Right. And then figuring out, like, what is an alternative belief that you can start shifting the narrative to. Right. So, like, so for the responsibility bit, you know, another belief could be, like, cool. Like, I've tried to showcase responsibility to him, to show him how to do this, and it hasn't worked. So at this point, the best thing you can do for him in the long run is to, like, encourage him and empower him to take responsibility. That's. That's the most responsible thing you can do as an older sister. Yeah, right. It's, you know, here's a fishing rod. Here's how you do it. Here's a little thing of worms. Go get them.

You know.

And.

And doing this, like, when you're not in guilt, it's really helpful because you're able to, like, you're able to be more creative and resourceful and come up with things that you wouldn't normally be able to when you're activated. You know, I just want to also remind you, every thought you have about yourself is not necessarily true. And in fact, most of the thoughts we have throughout the day are not true.

Yeah.

Our main job is just to come up with thoughts. Sorry, I cut someone off.

I wanted to ask Yvonne what kind of money work you did, because when you asked Katie that question, what is the limiting belief? I'm surprised. I'm normally very aware of my feelings, but blank. It's like as if it's so deep, deep under the kilometers or miles of sand, and I don't understand, like, I don't even. I didn't think it was an issue. Just I'm dealing with.

So, Dina, here's. Here's kind of a lighter version of that. Until you can get in touch with that voice, is what am I afraid people will think of me?

So interesting because I feel nothing.

Yeah, I'll find it. Like I said, I had, like, I'll look at it, but I had an inventory that somebody gave me of like a hundred money beliefs. And the, the thing is, they're super common, right. And so I literally. It was like an Excel sheet was like, you know, I went through an exercise of like, do I have that belief? And what's funny is, like, we all have them, but different levels. But I'm happy to share what they are because even just looking through them and Going, I don't have that one. It's like, good to see like, oh, nope, don't have that problem. Other people have that one. Let me dig it out and I'll share it in heartbeat.

Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you. I appreciate. You know, it's a difficult conversation obviously for me, and I feel safe with you all. Yeah, yeah.

You know, it also, like, your relationship with money is not just a personal one, it's a cultural one and it's generational one. You know, there's a great book called the Psychology of Money and it's, it's an interesting listen if you want to get it on audible. But you know, he really does break down that, like depending on when you were born, where you were born and what your status was in life, you know, you're going to have a completely different mindset when it comes to money. You know, my generation is just learning what inflation actually is, you know, whereas my parents generation, like knew they experienced it. Right. So like how we make money decisions all goes along with how we were raised and what we were raised to believe. Right. Dana, you actually might be so. In the beliefs about this is just how money is. So it may, you may want to separate, like, what is my false belief around money? Just like, what do you believe how money works? Like, what makes someone deserving of making more money?

What.

What is the consequence if you are bad with money? You know, and on and on and on and on.

I have a guilt that if I don't work really, really hard for it, I cannot charge for it.

But I.

What I do, I don't work. I don't feel like I'm working hard.

Do you tell me about your great great grandparents.

Well, I have three grandmothers, one Jewish. She. She was orphaned when, when she was 12. Her entire family got shot because they were Jewish. The other one gave up my father for adoption when he was three months old and she was a survival of Auschwitz. And he's ado. He grew by himself until he was eight. Yeah. Am I. My parents are like dinosaurs. They're very, very naive, very, very, very kind, giving. Like they would be left without an underwear.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So. So it's really common for descendants of Holocaust and genocide and you know, just being targeted to have a fear of having money because it gets taken away.

Oh my God.

It just, it gets taken away and like, you know, especially like, you're so safe if you just give everything away and are, are supportive of other people because if you support them, if you're Ever in danger. They'll support you.

And now I feel it. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. Oh my.

The. I mean the atrocities that were done to your, your grandparents and I mean your entire family. I mean it is abhorrent on, on, on like such an incredible level. There just aren't words for it. And think about like the, the money trauma that happens. Trauma gets passed down. It actually does impact the cells of your DNA.

So. No, I know. I just never realized that connection.

Yeah.

Oh my God. Yeah. Lately. Yeah. Oh yeah. Thank you. Yes. I, so, I mean, wow. I mean like saved a little many years of therapy.

Well, I just want you to go to therapy on this because it's a really topic and it's a really impactful topic and it's going to bring up a lot of shit.

Yes, Yes. I don't have. But you have a good therapist.

Yeah.

Let me, let me take some resources and see if I can find some stuff.

Okay, thank you. Thanks so much.

It's definitely a common belief that you have to work hard to earn money. Like that. That's one that I'm still, still getting like it's gotten less and less over the years. Right. Because especially like working, having worked in the corporate world, people don't necessarily work harder at the top at all. Actually. It, it's kind of inverted. Right. And so like having that belief that you work harder or work more is actually detrimental as you, as you increase in your position.

Yeah.

You know, it's, I mean a lot of us. And the reason I asked the question is like I come from potato farmers. Like you know, if they didn't do backbreaking work, they weren't going to eat. Like it's just like their kids weren't going to eat and they're all Catholic. So like there wasn't any birth control. There were a lot of kids. Right. And the kids all had to work and do back breaking work as well. Right. And there, there is this thing that happens because like the human spirit doesn't. Doesn't do well when it doesn't believe that there's something to be proud of in themselves. Right. So there's this thing that happens that I call poverty pride. And it's that those kinds of statements like, oh yeah, your Grandpa, he worked 14 hours a day, he supported 14 kids and he like he got food on the table with $2 each week. You know, like we all have some kind of narrative of that and it's like, oh, okay, cool. Like that's where you get celebrated. Like we really Take that kind of language and we internalize it because we want our family to be proud of us too. Because when our family's proud of us, what happens? We live longer because they care about us, right? And so it's like, oh, cool. So I have to showcase constantly how hard I'm working and I have to be able to like, explain how busy I am and, you know, the hustle and the grind and all this stuff so that I can have a similar story so that people can turn around and be like, oh my God, she worked so hard. Right? You know, and then of course, there's a societal where, like, how busy you are is a badge of honor, right? How many hours you worked, how many hours of overtime, All a badge of honor, you know, you gave it your all, you know. No. And especially if you have adhd, you know, as children we all grew up and like, we got celebrated for our A's and our B's and then C's. Like, you know, you obviously didn't try hard enough, right? And then of course, you know, if you just learn something really quickly, naturally it was like, well, you didn't study for that, so you didn't really deserve it, right? Like, things that came easy to you, no one gave you credit for, because he didn't hustle for it. You know, the neurodiverse mind is really talented at figuring out the fastest, most efficient way to do something, even if it's not following the rules, right? But our world doesn't like that. It sees that as like, oh, you're just being lazy. You know, you just didn't want to follow the rules. Like, you're being, you're, you're being, what is it disruptive in, but like not in a fun way, not in a good way, not in a celebrating way or celebration worthy way. Like, what if we, what if we all start celebrating ourselves for the lazy, the quote unquote lazy way we figure out how to do things? What if we, like, what if that is the win? Like, we get. We get X results for ourselves and Y results for our clients by doing the least amount of work possible, right? Think of how many more people you can help when you're able to do that. Think of the impact it's going to have on your clients when you do that. Think of the impact it's going to have on you. Think about all the other things that you can do with your time. You can volunteer. Maybe you could like write a novel or become an artist. Maybe you can give into society in a different Way.

Yeah.

Right. Lazy is not bad. Finding the most efficient time, like time and energy efficient way to do something to have the same or better results than how everyone else does it. That's actually something we should be celebrating. Sorry to get on my high horse.

My friend who was an Olympian three times, she said, we had a conversation about business. She's also now a coach. And she said, I want to come into my client, give them one million dollar advice, get one million dollar advice, and just carry on.

Yep.

So you were just from. Yeah. Your. Your advice right now is like multiple million dollars, Katie.

Well, I'll take a percentage. So I'm always open to like, a 10% percentage fee if you guys are wanting to give it to me. I. I won't say no. No one's taking me up on that yet. So, you know, whatever. Anyway, we have time for one more question, then we'll go into main takeaways today.

It.

I have a thing to say. It's not really a yeah. And that is like, keep talking about your money mindset stuff, because I got a lot of shit. And Dana, I have a similar history. I lost a lot of my family in the Holocaust. And prior to that, my grandfather lived in Poland with the Cossacks coming into their house and stealing things at will. And. And I grew up in a very, like, hold onto your money, listen to your boss, never leave your job unless they make you. Like, that was the. The environment. And I recently was having a conversation with Katie because I'm going to be moving soon. And I said, when I decide to move, I want to make sure to have enough money to have the movers come and pack for me and then unpack my kitchen on the other end. And that feels like a big luxury to me. And Katie knows how much money I have because I talk about it with her all the time. And she said, you know, you have that money now. And like, yes, I do. Like, it didn't occur to me that, like, I wouldn't have to earn that money. Like, I'm going to have money from the sale of my current house. I'm going to have money from clients, from savings. And, like, my brain was like, you better earn that extra money before you move so that you can spend the extra money that you're, like, categorizing. So it's hard. Like, the conversations are hard, but they get easier the more you talk about them. And the more you talk about them, the more other people. Like, my clients will talk to me about money because I'm willing to Talk about it. And I can have those conversations. Like, I used to just sort of skim over those conversations because I was like, I'm uncomfortable about money, too. So I just want to put that out there that, like, we're all really normal in all the things. Weird things that happened in our families.

Yeah. Thank you, Lauren.

Speechless. And normally I always have something to say, I think. Yeah.

All right. Shall we move into main takeaways?

I will start. What you said about when I would feel safe if I don't have the money because nobody's coming to take it. And this is where the rabbit is covered. I don't know what's the expression. Because. Yeah, I paid a lot of money as well to big lawyer to separate from my ex, the father of my child. So, like, always, you know, that that's. Now I connect all the dots. Yeah. Thank you. So it's better to have it so then nobody can take it. Thank you so much.

Can I just make a comment on this? A business partner of mine, David Fryman, he's Jewish, and he made this comment about anti Semitism. And it's that anti Semitism is so different from other forms of racism because it's not keeping people who are powerless. Powerless. It's tearing down people who supposedly have power, like. And, like, they're vilified because they have power. You know, it's very different. So, like, it's. It's something that we don't look at, you know, especially if you come from Jewish heritage or Jewish family. You know, it's just how you've always operated. Like, don't let people see how much power you have. Don't let people see how much money you have. Right.

And I mean, now it happens as well, you know, with Israel. And, like. Yeah. I'm sometimes surprised that people want to talk to me because, I mean, I don't. I ask myself if they know that I'm from Israel. Thank you. I'm. Yeah, I'm picking yvonne.

The money conversation was good because, like I mentioned, I did a lot of money work back in the day, probably seven, eight years ago. But I'm realizing now in this call, I never did money work as an entrepreneur.

Right.

Like, I always did money as an employee of a big company. And so it's bringing up new money stuff.

Yeah.

That I'm gonna have to go through.

So just.

It's really helpful, so I have to revisit some of that.

Thank you. All right, Monica, thank you.

On top of the homework on, you know, doing the money mindset, stuff that would be very helpful for me.

I see.

I think my other takeaway is the importance of setting boundaries and not to feel guilty about that either, because you own your own company, you should be setting boundaries and be nice to yourself.

Thank you.

I. I'm still, like, in the joy of the beginning of our conversation where, like, nobody came into the room and said, like, I made it through the week. We all have something real to celebrate, and I really. I want to acknowledge that for all of us.

Thank you, Lauren. That's a great place to end.

That's a good one.

Yes.

All right, everyone.

Yeah.

Have a great weekend. Monday, we're back. It's the first three Mondays of the month. Sprint on Monday, we start off. That was a weird way to say it. I said it, like, in a weird accent. Anyway, you all know where to find me if you have any questions, and have a great weekend.

Thank you so much, everybody. Thank you, Katie.

Thank you.

Bye.