Brave Biz Labs 2024 11 22

Oops.

Good morning. Good morning. Good afternoon. Well, how are you?

Good, Good. End of the day.

Is your squirrel playing the saxophone?

No, no, it's the.

Oh, it's okay. With the mountain behind it, it looks like a saxophone. I love it. I love it.

This morning. That's the background.

I love it.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Suzanne and Cammie, welcome.

Good morning.

Hi. So happy Friday, everyone. I'll probably say this a couple times as people come in, but, you know, welcome to Brave Biz Labs. If you haven't been here before, this is a safe space. You can ask dumb questions. There's no such thing as a dumb question. But if it feels dumb, you can still ask it. If you're struggling with something in your business and you're not even really sure if it's a question, you get to say, here's the dumpster fire. What's happening? And what do I. That's welcome as well. Swearing is welcome. Crying is welcome. There's nothing really. If it's impacting you being able to run your business, it is relevant. Right. We have folks who are at all different levels in their business that come to this call. So if you hear something that feels intimidating, know that you're not expected to be at that level yet, and. And know that you can take learning from it still. All right. I will do my best to answer as practically as possible so you walk away with an action plan. If you ask a question that, like, speaks to, like, a bigger strategy, I might give you, like, here's the high level. And if you want to talk later, we absolutely can deal with. Okay, awesome. So I love starting my calls with celebration. Celebrating this week.

I've got a celebration. Five minutes ago, I finished recording the. The first interview of my first podcast, which.

Fabulous. Congratulations.

So this is fun. And, yeah, wrapping up. It also leads into the first question, which is how do you. This is not even a pretty complicated one. How do you get over the sound of your own voice? Because your voice sounds amazing.

We'll get there.

Hold on to that question, because I want to go through celebrations first, but, yeah, we will get there.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Love it. Awesome. Who would like to celebrate something next?

I have a celebration. So I had a, I think, potential client DM me yesterday, and she told me the way that she found me was a Google search, like, who to follow on LinkedIn for data analytics. And I was like, whoa, that's a very.

Dude, that's huge.

Yeah.

I mean, let's really pause for a second because that says that a. Like, the keywords you're using on your LinkedIn profile are SEO optimized. Like, you do not need to change anything there. B, it means that you're connected with the right people who are engaging with your stuff because they're also in data. Right. And, like, we get to. We get to build on that. That is such a great foundation. Congratulations.

Yeah, thank you. Thank you.

Let me see. Cammie just put something in the chat in the very beginning stage. Putting pieces together, just listening and learning. We'll tackle some AI introduction this weekend. Amazing. Fabulous. Well, you know, beginning is the hardest part, so good job. And then, Suzanne, do you want to. Do you want to share a win?

Yeah.

I've been posting consistently on social media again, so celebrate that as a win. And it was a little bit kickstarted by your work that you did early in the month.

Yeah.

The challenge.

Awesome. Awesome. Yeah.

Thank you.

Yeah. I mean, and that's. That's honestly one of the hardest parts, you know, being consistent and building that practice, especially in the beginning when you're like, I don't know if this is working.

Yeah, totally.

Yeah. Awesome. All right. Some great wins.

Cool.

Well, let's take it right into open. Q and A. Hendrick, do you want to. You want to kick it off? How do you get over the sound of your own voice?

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Because I thought it's important to do a test run myself before I do a first. First interview. So last weekend, I sat down and I spent some time reading out some ideas I had of what I might talk about, and then I played it back, and I was just stunned. I mean, A, you're talking to a camera instead of real people, so this feels kind of fake. But then, B, who likes the sound of your own voice? Like, this is. I guess you got to be a real narcissist to think that you sound great, unless you're even Celine Dion. All that. Again, I think she likes to send her own voice. This is another question entirely. But, yeah, that's.

Yeah. So I think. Here's the thing. So when you take a selfie, like, oftentimes when people take selfies or pictures like this, they don't like them or they don't like themselves in pictures because it's subtle. Like, we. We think we have symmetrical faces. We don't. There's no such thing as a perfectly symmetrical face. What we're used to is our mirror image. Right. For us, the mirror image looks attractive. The non mirror image looks ugly because it's not what we're used to seeing. When we look at ourselves, right. So part of this is understanding that that's already what people are seeing and.

They'Re lucky for it.

Yeah, yeah. But I mean, like, it. But it's imperceptible to other people.

Yeah.

Right. And part of it is desensitizing yourself to it, getting really used to looking at yourself in pictures. Right. Not in a vain way, not in a narcissistic way, but just like, oh, yes, this is what I look like. Right. Yeah. There's something that people do when they start recording their voices. And I did this early on. I. I found my voice really annoying when I was like, doing, like, videos or lives. And we. We tend to put on a voice that's like the teacher voice or the guru voice, you know, and it sounds really manufactured. And we know. It sounds manufactured. We know, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We know ourselves what it should sound like.

Yeah.

So question for you. Is that the voice you're not liking?

Yeah, 100%. And I think part of that was really that the first one I recorded was just me manufacturing and reading a script. And it was. You can't get away from the script. Well, the call just now, I think it's going to be interesting because it's with someone who's a friend as well as. So that's going to be different, I think. I think it's. Yeah. I don't know how you do it when you're actually recording something which sounds like a monologue, but it doesn't sound like a monologue. It sounds like a chat to all of us. And that's really, really cool.

Yeah. Yeah. So. So here's. Here's the practice I want you to do is I want you. When you're hanging out with friends or talking to someone that you know really well, just turn your voice recorder on, right? Turn your voice recorder on and. And ignore it. Just continue talking. And it could be about, like, who's doing dishes now? It can be about, you know, what are your plans for the weekend? Right. And. And I want you to go later and listen to your voice when you're just in conversation with people, when you're just talking and notice the difference. Right? Because I hate my voice when it is like that manufactured, like, hi, everyone. Here's the wisdom I have to share with you today.

Yes.

No. And. And when we're first doing stuff, like, we feel like we need to have a performed voice, right? When really, like, we just need to have a conversation, we just need to speak in our conversational voice. And that's okay.

For sure.

Right. Part of it is desensitizing yourself to it because you're not used to hearing what other people hear.

Yeah, definitely.

Right.

I really appreciate the. The suggestion and I. I joined. I really. I really wanted to share that with yourself and I guess with the others, too. That. That I had that. That first recording too, but it's been some long days. I need to go jump with the kids stuff. 5pm here in Zurich.

Oh, okay. Cool.

Yeah, but. But I really appreciate it. And yeah, for all the others as well. I'm sure it'll be a good session, too.

Awesome. Well, I hope that was helpful and have fun with the kids.

It was.

It was Katie.

Okay.

Andrew, I like your voice, for what it's worth.

Yeah, yeah, you too, mate. As well, because you've got a. Is that. Is that an accent I'm hearing in the background?

Yeah. Australian. Yeah, thank you.

Yeah, exactly. That's why. That's why everyone loves their voice.

Oh, yeah.

That's annoying, too. This telephone thing which pops up when I get a message of some kind.

Oh.

And it blurs you out. Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't know if you get that too. I need to. Yeah.

I don't know if anyone here dislikes an Australian accent, though, to the point. Does anyone here? Oh, yeah. Makes sense. Yeah.

Oops. And I'm disappearing again. But thank you, guys. Zezone. Yeah, You've got a great voice as well. You should also do podcasts. This would be brilliant. But thanks all. And here I'm in Physical Archie.

Thanks, Hendrick.

Bye.

Thanks. See you all. Bye. Bye.

Awesome. That was quick and easy. What other questions do we have today?

And.

Hi, Allison.

I have one. So I'm doing a video series for the month of December. Every day will be a short video and you talk about focusing on just like, posting on one platform. But I was curious, like, since I'm creating these videos, should I just put it everywhere anyway, I'm already creating them or.

Yeah, let me explain my one platform rule so that, like, it's not like, oh, my God, Katie's gonna hunt me down and I'm gonna be in trouble. You're not. So what? So my philosophy around when you're starting a business and you're starting to, you know, promote yourself on social media, is to pick one platform and just go with it. Now, the reason I say this is because it's a lot of work to create, you know, content for LinkedIn that's designed to do well on LinkedIn and then content for Instagram that's designed to do well on Instagram and then content over here for TikTok that's designed to do well on TikTok. A lot of work. Right? But you know, if you're already just doing the work for one place that is dynamic, you know, like a written post is not going to work on TikTok. Right. But if you're already doing a video that could be shared to TikTok and Instagram without much more effort, then I say fucking go for it. Okay? Right. But what I don't want folks to get wrapped up in is like this perfectionism. Like I have to be Gary Vee. I have to show up everywhere. I have to do all perfectly right? Because a, it never works. Like, you'll stay, you'll post everywhere for three days max, and then you'll fall off the wagon on one and then you'll feel shitty about it and then you'll fall off the wagon on another one and then you'll feel like you're completely failing and then you'll fall off the wagon on the, on the primary one that you should be, you know, posting to every day. And like, that's not, that's not consistent. That's not good for your ego, it's not good for your confidence. Like, it's, it's just, it's a disaster waiting to happen. So don't hold yourself to that standard. But again, like, if you're creating videos and sharing them in one place, absolutely share them to other places as well, right? Yeah.

Even if the other places are. I have like a hundred followers on Instagram or something small like that. And I think they're like all my friends too. So I don't know if it would like reach people or not.

Well, you know what? You never know. You really don't. You never know. I got, I mean, I, I do like sprints of like 100 days on TikTok. I'm pretty inconsistent over there, but I have fun with it. And I was doing 100 day sprint to like do like hit a thousand followers, right? Because like after you get a thousand, you are allowed to have a link in bio and you can go live, right? And like months later I started like getting all these notifications like that one of those videos was like popping off and it went mini viral. It didn't go viral viral because it's not relevant to everyone, but it went mini viral. And like, I don't know how, I mean, I. To this day, like, you know, maybe someone was just searching it and then they started, you Know, liking it and commenting on it and all this stuff. Great, wonderful. But you just don't know what's going to hit for people. You also don't know, like, who's going to see what and be like, oh, my God, my friend Janice needs to see this. Right. You know, the interesting thing about Instagram is apparently right now they're focusing on growing smaller accounts, right? Because it's been so hard for so long for smaller accounts to grow, right? So they're really prioritizing it. So, I mean, it's not. It's. I mean, it's worth trying. If you're already creating the video and it doesn't take you that much more effort to post it to Instagram, I say go for it.

For Instagram, do you also write up a description or whatever or.

I would.

I don't look at the descriptions, but I'm just. I'm a weirdo in a lot of aspects, so I'm like, do other people read it?

But you know what, here's the thing. We all consume content in vastly different ways, right? And so your job is to create content for every different type of person. That makes sense, right? I read the descriptions.

Yeah.

Right. Like, I. Even on funny things, I'm always like, seymour, give me the, the description. What's the name of the dog? What's the dog's favorite toy? You know, was the dog adopted? Bought? Like, I want. I'm. I'm as nosy as fuck, Right? But I mean, if you're already creating a video for LinkedIn and already writing a description with. With it, which you have to do on LinkedIn for it to, to get.

Yeah, Anyway, yeah, I know that.

Copy and paste it. Just do it and add some more hashtags. Okay, Right, cool. Yeah. Any other questions on that?

Well, I guess just social media in general. I know I'm very beginning stages, so I. I feel very overwhelmed by it.

I don't.

I know that I have to work at it, but I also don't want it to consume my entire life. Is there. How do you find balance? Has anybody found that balance?

And this balance is different for everyone, you know, so, yeah, it is trial and error in the beginning, Right. And I will say this. It's gonna take longer in the beginning to create content and post it. Okay. The more consistent you get at creating content and posting it and creating content and posting it and creating content and posting it, the faster you get at creating content, right? And the less, like, moments of sheer panic you have about sharing this thing in the World, like, you just kind of write the thing and share it. Like, Zan, you've been. You've been creating content pretty consistently. Have you gotten faster?

Yeah, definitely.

Cool.

How would you say, like, what. What did you start at and what are you at now? In time spent each day. And I need it down to the second. I need you to, like, really? No, I'm just kidding. Just a ballpark.

Yeah. I think I would take like three hours to make a post, and now I take like, one.

Yeah, yeah. But you've been doing it for a couple months, right?

Yeah.

Cool.

And that's just going to get faster, right? I would. I would hazard a guess in another month you're spending a half hour.

Yeah, yeah. Most of it's kind of just like tweaking this thing and then, you know, like I get 90 of it done and it has half hour, so.

Right, right. Yeah. It's like, you know, Allison, do you bake or cook? Right. So the first, the first time you do a recipe that has, like, a lot of parts, how long does it take you to do it?

Very long.

Yeah, but after you've done it, like 10 times. I mean, 10 times is usually at the point where I start fucking it up, because I think I know, right? I miss, like a major ingredient and then it ends up badly. But social media isn't that complicated. So I say, you know, here's what I want you to do, is I want you to figure out what is your budget for time. Okay? Right. And whatever you can do in that time is great.

Okay?

Right. And don't forget you're in byob, so you can create like a whole bunch of posts, pop them in a Google Doc, share it to byob, and I'll go in and edit them.

Okay.

Right.

I think I'm worried about, like, the work life balance, which is part of the reason, you know, that I want to work for myself, but I also am willing to work very hard, you know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So part of. Have you. Have you gone. I know you just joined this week, so it's okay if you haven't. So in the empathetic marketing portion of byob, there's actually a full content calendar.

Okay.

So once you go through and do all of your interviews, basically it has a whole breakdown of how you take information from the interviews to pop into this content calendar so that you can create content prompts that are directly targeted towards your ideal client. And then those prompts, you can just basically write them once and then have it repurposed every four Months.

Thanks.

Right. So, like, we're. It's. It's heavy work in the beginning, less work later on. Still work. You're still going to want to edit and rewrite and do stuff.

I don't mind doing it. It's just keeping it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not. The expectation here is not that you're designing a business. It's going to take over your life. Right. We're designing businesses that empower us to have the life that we want. Right. So, yeah. And also I would just want to name, like, when we start a business, the fear part of our brain likes to come up with. Oh, no, like, this is going to take over your life. You're never going to have time to shower. You're in a smell, and then no one's going to want to be your friend. Like, it comes up with, like, all these, like, horrible scenarios of, like, how this is going to go terribly bad when you're successful. Right. And just, you know, give that. Just, like, nod and smile to that part of your brain and give it a cookie and tell it to go sit in the corner.

Really quick. Anytime I've been successful at a job or at sales, I've gone like a thousand percent and then burnt out. So I'm nervous about being successful by giving, you know, 99%.

So. So here's the goal for you is what is successful at 60% look like.

Yeah.

And you won't know now, but I want you to start, like, journaling on that. Okay, Right. Because, you know, like, if we can build a business that has you making $150,000 a year working, what's 60% of 40 hours? Can't do math. Like, 24 hours. Right? That's math. Yeah. Like, cool. That math is totally possible.

Okay.

Right.

But.

But we have to start knowing that's the goal. Right. If we start, like, thinking. Okay, well, we just need to make $150,000 at any, any price. And with any amount of time, it's really easy for that to sneak up to 60 hours and that point. Yeah. You're getting burnt out.

Okay, thank you. That's really helpful.

Okay, good.

Yeah.

Awesome. And then, Monica, I know we kind of bounced. Does that make sense for your. Your content challenge that you're doing for.

Yeah.

Okay, cool.

Awesome.

All right. What other questions do we have today?

I have one, but I don't want to take over, so.

Oh, no, no, no, Please. So here's. Here's my only rule with this. We don't apologize for taking up space.

Okay?

All right? This is your fucking space. You get to ask whatever question. And here's the thing, like whatever question you ask, I guarantee you, like, parts of it will be relevant to everyone. Okay?

You'll have to remind me about the apologizing a couple of times. It's a hard habit.

It's okay.

I am starting the interviews. I've got some scheduled. I'm excited about it. I feel even more lost than ever though, about what I'm going to offer to.

Okay, you don't have to know now.

Okay?

That's not the point of this.

Okay? Yeah.

The point of this is to understand what people are struggling with.

Okay.

They're afraid of like what's happening in their day to day life, what do they want for their organization, for themselves, all that stuff.

And then what if they're not? Like, could. Cause obviously I want to be working with the heads of like decision makers, but some of these people might not be decision makers. I don't know If I know 50 decision makers. So how do I tweak that then for them? Would I just ask about them personally for the questions?

Yeah, so, so with the interviews, like your goal is to understand and especially for you, like you have this because your, your focus is belonging and you know, belonging, consulting, like with the people who aren't decision makers, you really want to understand what's happening in the organization, you know, so like what are the complaints you're seeing from dayto day? What are you complaining about? Like, what do you want for the organization? Where do you think they're, they're missing out and serving the community. Right. You know, it's the decision makers. You're going to ask more pointed questions about what will make their life easier and like what they're frustrated with in their jobs, with the people who aren't decision makers. And this is really just for someone who is doing the culture side kind of consulting thing. You really want to understand what's already being said in the community, you know, like what, what are they noticing? What are they worried about? Where do they think the community is going wrong? Because then like you could absolutely compile that into kind of like a informal white paper and say, hey, if you have a really homogeneous community that's like all like white people and this and that and the other thing, guess what your members are actually saying and guess what people are actually observing about this, you know, and this and that and the other thing. And here are your opportunities for growth.

I like that.

Right. Because also remember, like those members, those communities can also Refer you in. Right. You know, it's totally possible that, say, like, you know, a company of 500 people needs you, but they don't hire you. A team lead does. You know, who manages five people. And they just want to, like, figure out how to make sure all those five people feel like they belong on the team. Right. And then once you get in and you help them figure that out, who's to say that another team lead isn't, like, what? Everyone's so productive and happy and this is happening, and that's happening. What did you do? Oh, you hired that lady, Allison. Okay, can I have her information? And then before you know it, you're. You're getting referred around internally. Does that make sense?

Yeah, I can do that. Thank you.

Yeah. The, the key with the interviews is to not go in, like, thinking it needs to fix something or confirm your idea. It's not about your idea at all. Right, right. It's about understanding, like, what is going on in their life. That's. That's a struggle for them. Right. So, like, for instance, if I was like a weight loss coach that works with middle aged women and I went out and I interviewed my ideal clients, like, if I were really pointed and, like, cool, like, what do you struggle with when it comes to having a smoothie in the morning? That's two pointed. That might not be something that they're. They're stressed about. Like, the people that we interview, we want to make sure that they know that these are vague questions on purpose because we don't want them trying to give the right answer. Right. And also, like, if I'm asking them a bunch of questions about weight loss and I'm jumping over other factors in their life, like the fact that might be going through a divorce, I can't solve the divorce. But when I'm marketing, I can say, you know, a lot of my clients, like, decide that they want to go on a weight loss journey after a divorce. And here's the impact the divorce had on them on a personal level, on an emotional level, and this and that and the other thing. Right. And. And my clients, my ideal clients out there might be going through a divorce and think, oh, my God, she gets it. She understands. I might be crying sometimes, you know, that makes sense.

Yeah.

That was a lot of information.

No, no, it clarified it a lot. Thank you.

Okay, awesome. What other questions do we have?

I think we've talked about this before, but can you refresh my memory on, like, posting multiple times a day, whether that's good or bad?

Yeah. It depends on the platform. It really. So, yeah, LinkedIn, you can. I wouldn't do more than two times a day. And you need to space them out. Right. Because if you, if you post like at 7am and then again at 8am, the 7am one isn't going to get anything. Right. You're basically going to kill the reach to that and then like interject a new one. Right. Sometimes it can't be helped. Sometimes, like, you know, you have a post and then you also have a live scheduled, you know, and, and it can't be helped. And it's like, okay, well, whatever. You can't be perfect at it all the time. But if you're like creating content and trying to schedule it, what I would do is I would schedule one for say 7, 8am in the morning and then another one for like 6pm, 7pm in the evening. Right. Give it some time so that, that one gets, you know, it's, it's air time, you know, and it also hits different crowds because there are people who like check LinkedIn in the morning and then don't really log in again. Yeah, right. Yeah. Instagram, you can post as much as you want. Tick tock. You can post as much as you want. You know, Twitter, not that anyone's. Yeah, like threads and blue sky, you can post as much as you want. Which, it's really interesting to see what's happening. Blue sky versus X right now. So be. It'll be interesting to see how that, how that grows. Yeah. What?

Cause I was thinking with my video series that I'm doing in December.

My.

Brain works in weird ways. For some reason, I'm like, these videos that I'm creating aren't posts, so I need to also be posting.

Yeah, no, that's not how that works.

I'm like, no, it's a post. It's. It has a call. It's. It has a call to action. Like I'm setting it up like that. So like I could just do the video thing, but for some reason I'm like, oh, maybe I should also be doing other posts.

Yeah. So I mean, I mean, sure. Like you could do this. Then you could do some personal stuff. Yeah, for engagement farming. Absolutely. You could do some personal stuff. Here's what we're doing for the holidays. Here's, you know, my, the outfit I'm wearing to this holiday party. It's themed and I'm a reindeer. Hello. You could also, if you have an event like a webinar or an ask me anything kind of session.

Yeah.

Post about that on its own.

Okay.

You know. Yeah, but yeah, no, you don't have to double up. You're already, yeah, you're creating content, you're creating video content. You're good.

Okay.

Okay.

Yeah, thank you.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Speaking of social media, funny how we make these rules for ourselves.

Like, where did that come from? Of course it's a post. But for some reason I'm like, it doesn't count.

Yeah, but it does. Yeah. Yep, yep, yep.

You just want to do more work. That's what it is, I guess.

Yes, of course.

Yeah.

Speaking of social media though, one of the things you suggested for the interviews was to post on LinkedIn. I'm afraid I have so much fear about like launching myself. Wrong, if you will. Um, because I haven't said anything about this on LinkedIn. So do you have any suggestions for.

I mean, like, yeah, you're gonna get it wrong. Yeah, absolutely. You're gonna get it wrong. The beautiful thing about starting a business is no one's paying attention. Okay. Right. That's also the shitty thing about starting a business is no one's paying attention. So you just have to do it a lot. You're not gonna do the perfect post that's gonna like launch your business into multi million dollars a year just from go. Like, if that happened, you would end up in an insane asylum, right? You would, you would have a mental breakdown because you'd have a, like a gazillion followers. You'd have a ton of trolls in there, right? You'd have inquiries that you don't know how to field right now, right? Because you don't have an offer, you don't have a system for them to like buy buy from you. You don't have contracts, you don't have anything. That's not going to happen overnight, right? That's the biggest gift of this being hard is that you're going to get three likes and maybe one interview and then you're going to post about it again and then you're going to get like five likes and maybe two interviews, right? But you're going to get it wrong. So here's. I, I don't know that I actually would have started my business if I knew this. When I. Because I'm a perfectionist and I don't like failing. Like every single personal trainer I've ever had in my life, I'm like, I don't want to do push ups. And they're like, why? And I'm like, because I don't like being bad at Stuff. And they're like, you do know that the only way you stop being bad at push ups is by doing push ups. And I'm like, I don't care. Like, I just, I don't want to be bad at it. I will do other things that are the same movement. Like, I'll do bench presses with weights. But that feels more impressive to me than like not being able to do a push up. Right. That, like, there's no way to avoid failing in a business.

Okay.

Right. For every program you launch, half of them are going to fail. Right. For every sales call you have, you know, a healthy number of no's is 75%. Right. When you're really, really good at sales. Right. That's failure. You're gonna fail a gazillion times. And if you're not failing, you're not gonna have a business. Right. So, so the challenge I have for you, which is the challenge that I should have had for myself, is like, go after as many failures as you can right before the.

Go for the no. But.

Yeah. Huh?

It just wasn't me.

Yeah. Yeah. I had a coach when I first started who challenged me to hear no for like, giving away free sessions. I was literally in San Francisco in SOMA, sitting, standing on a street corner giving away 30 minute coaching sessions and no one took, you know, I was outside a salad place across from like AT&T park and lunchtime. Yeah, but you know what? Like, that's not the only way you can fail. And that's like a mini fail. That's like not. That wasn't even a hard fail. Because these are people. I don't know. I'm never going to see them again. Right. I'm just never going to go to that salad place again in my life. You're going to fail in front of friends and family. You're going to fail in front of your, your LinkedIn and Instagram followers. You're going to fail a gazillion times. And really, like, no one's paying attention. Right.

I think I'm more important than I am.

That's the problem.

You know, you know, you have, you have main character energy. That's great. Go far with that. Yeah. Huh. But like, you know, even main characters, you know, the first half of the movie is always them doing it wrong.

True.

Right. They're dating the wrong person, they're doing the wrong job, they're, you know, doing the wrong things. They're trial and erroring, you know, they're meeting their enemies. Hopefully you don't have Any. I know. Yeah, It's. That's. That's the story, you know, I want you to find one interesting book or movie where the main character does everything perfectly. Yeah, they're not interesting stories. That help.

Yes.

I'm gonna just. Just do it. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's no such thing as perfect.

Okay.

Yeah. It's a construct. It's like, if you think of your perfect self, they don't exist. If you think of the per. Like, has there ever been a perfect car?

No.

No. Like, they didn't design one car and be like, done. Good, that's enough. They're like, oh, this could be safer, and this could be faster, and this could be more efficient, and it could be easier to park, and it could be this, and it could be a prettier color. And then, of course, you ask people, what's a perfect car for you? And then the question gets different. Right?

Yeah.

So the same goes for you. There's no such thing as a perfect car. There can't be any such thing as your perfect business, your perfect offer, your perfect social media, your perfect you deal.

I'm gonna work on it.

There's. There's a model I'm actually, like, doing a lot of work on right now that I'm gonna be introducing more and more is that instead of, like. Instead of, like, leaning towards our ideal self and, like, doing things in a perfectionist manner, like going with your favorite self. Right. So it. It's a slight shift because your ideal self is the version of you who's always done everything perfectly. Right. And then does things perfectly, you know, forever and can be consistent at it. And that's just not. That's not human. That's not how we work.

Yeah.

Versus your favorite self. Like, who's the per. The version of you that you so enjoy being in that moment? For me, it's like she's spilled coffee on her clothes, and she's like. Just got off the phone with her best friend, and she's, like, doing interesting, fun things, and she's playing with her dog, and she's like, you know, tidying as she goes. That's not exciting. That's not sexy. It's not like she went to an Ivy League school. She didn't. But, like, that's who I enjoy being. So I'll. I'll be. I'll be introducing more of this. But, like, ask yourself that question day to day. Like, as you're doing the work in the business is like. Like, who do I want to be as I do this. And actually, let's just answer that question now. Who do you enjoy being for everyone? Who do you enjoy being, like, in any given moment? And if you want to take a moment to, like, write down some things, let's do that. Just finish up your last thought. Okay. Who wants to share first? Who is your favorite self?

I'll share. I. I always just see a theme that's so general, and I can never get specific. It's just someone that can help you solve a problem, someone that can encourage others to do the thing that they want to do and in general, just make your day better and make you laugh.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, cool. So I bet as you say those things, your brain is probably going back to moments where you got to be that person, Right. What was the feeling. What was the emotion you had in those moments?

Like, beyond happiness or.

Yeah, but, like, there are different kinds of happiness, right? Like, there's an effervescent happiness that, like, you kind of want to giggle. There is happy at, like, oh, that felt really good and grounded, you know? Like, what was the underlying happiness there.

That I could share part of myself with others to help them be better.

Yeah. Cool. So your favorite self is where you share parts of yourself to help others be better. Cool. What parts of yourself do you get to share?

Like, the knowledge that I've gained throughout my life and my perspectives of how others can use that knowledge.

Yeah, yeah. And what's unique about your experience and your perspectives?

I've been told that I have a. Like, I don't know if it's optimist, because I wouldn't consider myself an optimist. But, like, I always see, like, the reason. Like, kind of like a everything happens for a reason type thing. Like, I see the cup half full, right. If somebody's like, oh, this is happening. I'm in such a rough time, I'll be like, but, you know, shine a light on it and kind of, like, flip it around.

So can we call that, like, realistic positivity?

I like that. Yeah, I like that.

Yeah. So it's the moments where you get to be the realistic, positive force in the room. Cool. So, like, when we. When we think about favorite self, you know, that realistic, positive force in the room, what does your realistic, positive force want to do right now? In this moment? You just look around, like, imagine you weren't on this call.

I want to go to dance class.

Yeah. What would the dance class give you?

Energy. Yeah.

To do what? What would the next thing be?

Probably take a shower.

Well, yeah, but beyond that.

You don't.

Want to be this stinky, realistic, positive force of. Exactly.

I just have energy to, you know, continue my day and with. With a positive outlook.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So. So here's. I love that you're like, you started here because this is the thing. We are trained not to trust this part of ourselves, because this part of ourselves always wants us to go and do something fun that fills us up. Right. And we're like, oh, well, that's not responsible. Oh, God. Like, ooh, you know, I have to. I have to sit down here and do work. Right. But, like, when we. When we play it out, you didn't say, well, after that, I wanted to go eat junk and just sit around watching tv. Right. You had a very clear, like, purpose for why you wanted to go to a dance class, because it'll infuse you with that energy so that later you can go and bring that energy to every other part of your life that you were already planning on doing. Right. Like, that's pretty magical. And. And, like, the difference between you on a day where you do a dance class versus not doing a dance class. What?

That.

I mean, I'm still going through the same motions, but just with a different energy.

Yeah. And what's the difference in the energy?

Just like, oh, man, this is what I have to do versus this is what I get to do.

Yeah. Cool. All right. So you see how, like, there's a difference in your being, and. And you have more access to being that. That realistic, positive force when you lean into the things that. That feed that. Right. Cool. Is there perfectionism in that?

Oh, of course. I mean, if I mess up the.

Choreography, it's terrible, but does it change the impact of that?

No, not really.

Cool.

Awesome. Thank you. Thank you for anything else you want to share?

No, thank you. That was fun.

Yeah. Cool. Who wants to go next?

I can go?

Yes. Allison.

Thank you, Monica, for sharing that, because it kind of sparked something in my mind, because at first I wrote, you know, light, relaxed, upbeat, not strung so tightly. But one of the things that's been a theme throughout my career, even when I was teaching, was I really enjoy taking complex problems and making them feel manageable for people. And one time when I was helping a student start at the seminary, they said that I always made it seem like all of their problems in a good way, like, was not a big deal. Like, they didn't need to be stressed about it. So, like, providing that comfort. And, you know, I love getting things done, so helping people take those Steps to get things done.

Yeah, yeah. Like, that is. That is a really strong empathetic skill. Right. Like it. But seriously, it's that, you know, when someone comes to you with a massive problem and they walk away feeling like, oh, wow, I. Like, this isn't a big deal because, like, other people have this problem too. Right. This is manageable. Right. That's a very, very intuitive empathetic power.

I think you have that too.

Thank you. We tend to attract, you know, be attracted to each other. Right. You know, it's like, because we don't want to be around people who won't do that for us. Right. Because we understand the impact it has on relationships and on trust. Right. So I'm curious, like, what is that feeling you have when you're able to be that for someone?

I know pride is supposed to be.

Bad, but actually pride is not bad.

I feel, first of all, I feel accomplishment and I'm an achiever, like, anytime you take those things. So achieving things makes me feel just like, gives me like a high. And then also, like, I feel thankful that I was able to help the person. And I just feel good because I feel like I did something good.

Yeah. So first and foremost, some homework around debunking your belief system around pride and feeling proud of yourself. Right. Because that, like, it's funny, our subconscious will always create roadblocks for us to achieve stuff if we're worried that we're going to feel a feeling that we, we associate with evil. Right. Pride is not inherently bad. Like, being like, what are you proud of? Are you proud of, like, killing a bunch of people? That's bad. Proud of helping a bunch of people.

Great.

That's. That's beautiful. And that's that, that, that impetus for you to continue helping people. Right. Because you can continue feeling proud. Right. There's a reason why anti racism work is really challenging for folks, right? Because you have racism bad and you have not racist good. Right. And people are so tied to being good that they're like, well, no, like, I can't, I can't admit that I might have internalized racism. Right. I'm not even willing to have the conversation because I'm not racist. Right. And what happens, we have racist structures because they're not willing to do the work that untangles the, the embedded racism that we all inherently have by growing up in this world. Right. So in your business, it can, it can get hung up in that kind of dichotomy of like, well, I don't like pride bad. So let's avoid it. Okay. Okay. So when you say it feels good to help people, where do you feel good in your body? Like, where does it take up space?

My chest.

Your chest? What, what happens there?

Or no, maybe it's my stomach. I just like.

It's your torso.

Yeah. Yeah. So like, I feel kind of like almost like butterflies, like, of excitement and. Yeah, that's.

Yeah.

And what is. What is that sensation similar to, like, other. Other actions you take? Is it similar to like gift giving.

Or I got somebody the perfect gift and. Yeah. Achieving something.

So cool. Cool. So when you have access to that part of yourself who gets to do that every single day, what is the first thing that comes to mind that you want to spend time on.

Outside of working or like, outside of, like.

Imagine you're not like with Monica. Imagine you're not on this call right now. If you're tapped into that feeling, what is the instinctual next thing you want to do?

It's a toss up right now between getting everything in order that I've always wanted to get in order in my house because I just, like everybody else, get overwhelmed and don't, don't think it's possible. And one is like going out and volunteering. I'm not sure where, but yeah.

Awesome.

Cool.

So I actually have the same thing. When I tap into my favorite self. I hate cleaning, but my favorite self always wants me to tidy. She's like, you have too many mugs in your office. You got to take them to the kitchen. This is unreasonable, you know? So. Yeah. Cool. So your favorite self instinctually knows what's going to set you up to be better at the next thing that you do. Right. To be able to bring that gift that you inherently have to the world. Right. Cool. Would you like to go next? I always feel like pronounce your name differently every time I say it. How do you pronounce. I'm sorry.

I pronounce it Zan. And you can call me.

Okay. Apologies. It's such a fun thing to say anyway.

Yeah, it's all good. I. I appreciate all the different pronunciations. Thank you. And thanks for asking. Respectfully. No, I'm, I'm good. I'm enjoying listening. Thank you.

Awesome. Okay, cool.

Thanks.

Great. I love, I love, I love that you said no. I love that you were like, nah, I'm good. A lot of people don't feel comfortable saying no in a group setting, so I really appreciate that.

Thank you.

We have seven minutes left. What other questions do we have in this space?

Me again from What I'm getting from these conversations, I feel like I need to embrace discomfort and just trust the process right now and not worry about what it leads to. And that's okay.

That's okay. Exactly.

I can't tell. I struggle with that.

Thank you. You know, it's how we do one thing, is how we do everything, right? And so if you struggle with embracing discomfort, my challenge for you is find an area where there's really no consequence of you being discomfort uncomfortable and go and do that. Right? So, like, for me, I'm not good at being bad at stuff, so I try to, like, be bad at stuff as much as possible, you know? So, like, I'm signed up for a Bikram yoga class tonight. I'm terrible at yoga, right? I know I'm going to be in that class and be like, looking at everyone else who I'm sure goes every single week. This is my first time doing yoga in like a year, right? And I'm going to be comparing myself and I'm like, they're judging me. They're. They think I suck at this. And I do suck at this. Right. You know, another thing is 10, like, all the things I'm bad at are, like, physical activities, right? Like tennis. Like, I'll go in and like play. Play tennis against like the wall or use a ball machine or something and I'll know, like, people are probably watching, like, wow, she missed that. That was a really easy ball. How'd she miss that? Right? What it does is it makes it easier for me to be shitty at stuff where it matters, right? So, like, what's, What's a small, uncomfortable thing you can do that has no consequence anywhere else?

Zumba. But I don't want to do that.

Yeah. Well, what's another uncomfortable thing that you can do that has no consequences anywhere else?

This is silly. But there's a software that. It's not silly. Sorry. There's a software that we had to use in my statistics class that I muddled through, but I have no idea how to use it. And I really. To learn how to use it.

Yeah. Yeah. Cool. So can you carve out 20 minutes today to like, try to do something there? Cool. Awesome. Yeah. It's starting. If you haven't hired a therapist yet, I highly recommend it. Starting a business is like, you're like, awesome. This is going to be great. And then all of the shadow work that has ever needed to come out comes out and you're like, why is so hard? That's normal. That happens for everyone. And It's a lot easier when you lean into the hard parts first. Right.

Thank.

This has been a very existential session of Brave Fizz Labs. Thank you for being here. Awesome. We have three minutes left. Let's move into main takeaways. Who would like to start us off and we'll popcorn it.

I liked your take on Go after as many failures as you can.

Yeah. What are you. Are you gonna fail at something?

I was thinking like, what would I fail at today?

Ooh. Yeah.

So I have to finish my presentation and right now I think it's at a good point, but the first thing that I need to start with today is timing it. So I'm pro. Is probably going to be too long.

I'm.

It's probably going to be too long and so I'm going to have to like, edit it or something.

So.

Yeah. Cool. Awesome. So you've already kind of pre failed.

Good job, I think.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Great. So you can check that box. I want you to write on a. On a to do list, fail at this and then just cross it off. Good job.

Yeah.

Yeah. Awesome. Thank you. And who are you picking next?

Allison.

Thanks.

I think what I said that I just need to lean into the discomfort and trust the process.

Luna agrees with you. Yeah. And then, Suzanne, would you like to share your main takeaway?

Yeah. I'm. I appreciate the stuff around perfectionism and kind of just, you know, like whatever x percent of your launches will fail and stuff like that. And I'm going to release some of the self doubt I have right now about launching something and it's not exactly getting the traction I want it. Exactly. So I'm just going to release that tension and keep doing the plan even if it doesn't work out.

Yeah. You know, early on in my business, someone said marketing always works. It either works and you get clients or it teaches you. Wow. That really didn't work. You know.

Yeah.

When we treat it like an experiment.

Yeah.

Or, you know, a launch or whatever. When you treat it more like an experiment to either see what works or doesn't work versus like this has to work or else I'm a failure, it becomes a lot more easy to digest. So. Yeah. Awesome. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. All right, everyone, have an amazing weekend. For those of you in byb, you know where to find me if you have any questions, if you want me to review anything, and I will see you all very soon.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Bye.