BYOB Advanced Group Call 2024 05 23

Hello.

Hello. Thank you. Life was just like so, so, so, so crazy. So.

It's all good.

It's all good.

Are you happy to be home?

Oh, my gosh, yes. It was five weeks in the US So it's. I mean, you know, you. I mean, you travel as well, but at some point it's just, It's. It's nice just to be back in your own space, sleep in your own bed. So.

Yeah.

And I don't know when, when you travel, do you take your dog with you?

Sometimes, sometimes not. It's. It's hard when I don't take her with me. I can, I can rel. Happily be away, not happy, but, like, I can be away from her for like a week without feeling a lot of stress. But she and I are very codependent on each other, so.

No, and it's the same you.

You know, so.

Yeah. And, and what's funny is when I left, we hired a maid to help my partner, but it wasn't. My partner was like, this is ridiculous. I don't need like a maid. And I said, no, we hired the maid so you can give the attention to our special needs cat because the maid cannot do this. So we outsourced, essentially, so that he could provide for our special needs cat because he just requires so much. But even with our other cat, I just, Yeah, I, I miss them. There's a lot of codependency as well. Since I was just so happy to be home, I was like, well, just.

Just to design with you, we have. We've had like thunder and lightning storms all day over here. I haven't lost Internet yet. If I do, we can obviously figure out the scheduling of it.

Yeah, don't stress.

My parents dog having a panic attack underneath me. She. She grew up on the, on the west coast in California where they don't have thunder and lightning. So, like, she's having a panic attack. My dog's fine, their other dog's fine, but she's just like, I don't know what to do. So if she freaks out, that's. She's fine. But it's just like, that's what's happening over here in this little space.

Poor thing. Yeah. No, it's. It's crazy how some of them, it really impacts them, our special needs cats, since it. They don't have. We don't have thunder and lightning here either. On the rare occasion that we do, which is like literally maybe once a year. One time he's. He's super stressed. So. Yeah.

Yeah.

Poor babies. Anyway, so besides being home, what are you celebrating?

I am celebrating an overall pretty good trip to the us I maintained a lot of healthy boundaries with the family because a lot of the family is toxic and, and my father included is not easy. And he's still quite. I mean he's less in denial now, but he didn't, it was hard because I had to tread softly because he doesn't like to talk about death. So trying to organize everything with someone who doesn't want to think or talk about death is. Yeah, so, yeah, so definitely treading softly with that. But I'm overall it was quite successful, very eye opening. Also on the money aspect of things because I got to spend time with my cousin and her husband. I was staying with them and they've done really, really well for themselves. Her husband has his own business and they definitely have quite a bit of play money. And so it was good to kind of see people that are kind of rich, that aren't bad people and that aren't evil. And it's just really interesting because I was having a conversation with my mother about staying with them. Like it was Mother's Day, so we were spending time together and I just happened to say that, oh, I was talking to Lauren Darby about their business and that like kind of the strategy of being an electrician for the rich. And, and I was saying it's an interesting thing about how he purposely made that his strategy and started working towards it. And my mother had such this negative, nasty reaction and said, well, yeah, that's very clear that he doesn't want to work for normal people, he only wants to work for the rich. And I was like, whoa. And instantly I thought of you. And I was like, look, look, look, look, look. Let's, let's like, let's like don't like, because my mother and I literally will fight about everything. I said, step back, let's take this as like an educational moment. So then I said, ah, like put on a coach hat. What do you mean by that? Yeah, and it was so scary. It is how my mindset, a lot of it is just copy paste. Yeah. So it was really, really scary to see. Obviously it's very ingrained and rooted in her and she hasn't tried at all to change it. And she really sees money enriched people as completely evil, whereas at least I already had a more toned down version. But she really sees it as like, he's not a good person because he charges so much. And I was like, and he really is actually a really, really good person. And she knows them well and, and she's close with them. And so I was really shocked at her. This the first time I really realized I think she doesn't like him and that's the only reason why. Right?

Yeah.

So that made me realize I already was nervous about, I think I told you I was already nervous about the fact that I wasn't gonna make myself too different from my family because that was just another part of it is that they didn't really look kindly upon, you know, people with money. And so I just thought this is going to be the straw that breaks the camel's back kind of thing. And then I just realized, whoa. Hearing her, I was like, this is a very ludicrous way of thinking and operating.

Right.

Because I think it helped that it wasn't me that I was looking at some people that I am close to, I respect and admire and them explaining their process and them even explaining similar to you, yeah, we charge money, but we do donate and we donate money and we do do other things. So then I said, ah. And, and so it was nice to see, I think a good example and then realize this fallacy that my mother has created for me is very, very wrong.

Yeah, yeah. Well, and it's, it's such a fascinating way to look at it because you know, she has this lens of like going after money bad. And. But then there's the business angle to it that like, you know how it's your cousin in law, right?

Yeah, it's my. Anyways, it's, it's like my, my cousin, I mean my cousin is involved with her husband's business anyways, like she does all the admin, so it's their business.

Right. But like, you know, electricians, you might think that like, well, electrician is an electrician, as an electrician. But like the business strategy is very different if you're going for like high net worth individuals because like what they care about is different. You know, it's more esthetic based. They're going to go far more off of referrals, right. From like their designer, from their builder, from their architect. So how you market yourself and how you get your name out there is different. There's obviously discretion. Like, you know, these are, these tend to be very highly private individuals as well. You know, they also want like the newest thing, you know, like they may want, you know, like the newest like motion sensor lighting put in. Right. The level of insurance you have to carry is higher. Right. If you fuck up like a double wide, that's going to Be one thing, but if you fuck up a $2 million new build. Yeah, like that's, that's gnarly.

Yeah. And I mean, and then it's funny because my mother even has the impression that he's never working because he's always home. And so she's like, he doesn't even go to job sites. He just makes everyone else do the work. And I said, mom, I've been staying with them for two weeks. What you don't see is, yes, he's home, but he sits fitting at the kitchen table with plans of these 2 million dollar builds where he's going over every little detail that they've now collaborated with the architect on for the new build. And he's working. It's not because he's not at the job site or not in an office that he's not working, but shed such a complete view that he does nothing. He's lazy. He makes everyone else do the work. And even then the job that the people go out and do, she's like, they shouldn't even charge because they don't have the quality level that she thinks. I don't know, that they should have.

She knows so much about electricians.

Yeah, yeah. She just has this idea. And anyways, I don't know if she's just judging based on again, what she sees Darby do, because Darby, my cousin in law, so it's my cousin's husband, when my mom calls him, he drops whatever he's doing and comes to help her with the electrical job for free. And I guess if it's not done to her liking now she assumes that that's how he does his electrical work. But obviously the quality you're getting for free at the drop of a dime, it's not going to be, it's not the same. So I'm like, you think he's like not a good person and yet every time you call him for an electrical problem at home, because my mom really loves, like I told you, she's redneck. So she'll go dumpster diving and find all these, like, I don't know, she'll find a hot tub and then decide she wants to hook this up and it needs electricity and water, so then she needs an electrician. And, and yeah, and my cousin's husband puts up with my mom's craziness and will come and help her set up any of her electrical projects for free. And I even told him, like, tell her no.

Right, right. So, so how does this serve her, Charlie? What are you wrapped around oh God. Oh God. Okay, hold on. Sorry. You wrapped around.

What did you do here?

Oh my God. She got wrapped around my knitting somehow. Okay, great. So, okay, back to my question. How does it serve her?

It serves her because it's a cop out because one, she doesn't advocate for herself and doesn't ask for more money and the people that she has been surrounded with are rich and shitty. So it's this kind of thing where. What is this again? Where you. Confirmation bias. Like basically that she just finds she had this belief so she will just find some kind of evidence to, to support it in any way possible. I even mentioned that I'm working with a money coach to kind of change my perspective. I mentioned this after this whole showdown and I said one of the people we looked at because we were talking about Larba and Darby and she was telling me, well, like Darby is not a very good person because of this. And I said, oh yeah. And we also talked like we made a good point about Taylor Swift. And then my mom goes off on this tangent about Taylor Swift is not that great of a person. And then I was like, what do you mean? And apparently she's seen on Facebook that Taylor Swift is a witch. I was like, keep in mind, I'm really like your version of a redneck is probably very accurate of my mother. So. So yeah, so I was just like, all right, I'm not gonna really try to touch that and go into that. So yeah, she just, her whole thing is just deep seated and rooted because it serves her because that's how she's always thought. And she also doesn't want to challenge her way of thinking. And she's always been poor and she's never worked and advocated for herself to get more money. And. And also we talked about this like living by this good old boys book where, you know, in a perfect world you help your neighbors and you know, everyone is treating everyone fairly or something like this. And so I said, people don't take care of themselves that way. If you're doing favors for people all the time, if anything you're going to be in a more, a more precarious situation later because you didn't look out enough for yourself.

Right.

And. And so she still has this idea that, yeah, people should just do things to be nice and to be kind and not, not overcharged for things. That things should be fair and according to value. And then again, whose perception of value and what value that's to, you know, also another thing going off. But yeah, it was just very Clear. She has these dead ideals and she doesn't want to change them. But I was okay with that. And I realized, wow, I don't want to think like that anymore. Obviously I'm not to that scale, but I definitely don't want a piece of that. And I think really talking to my cousin and her husband a lot about their business and their strategy and what they had to do to be at peace with themselves. Doing it like this helped me a lot to envision how I could make a path for myself moving forward.

Right.

Yeah.

So for your mom, I mean, it is actually like a safety mechanism to see herself as powerless. Right. And to see anyone else who's, like, exerting any power over their own destiny. Destiny. As evil. Right. Because in her mind, it's, you know, it sounds like there's some worthiness stuff going on.

Oh, yeah, but she. Yeah, yeah. No, but she has confidence issues.

Yeah, yeah. And so there's this belief that, like, well, for me to be seen as more worthy, someone has to tell me I'm more worthy. Right. And she'll never go out and ask for someone to, like, tell her she's more worthy, because what if they say no? Then that underlines you're not worthy.

Oh, yeah. And. And it's clear, because it's funny, since my mother and I argue all the time, I bought this little conversation starter game because I said, let's try to stay away from politics because that's the number one thing we argue about. So this will be a fun little activities for us to try to bond. And it's like family time conversations that kids would ask even. So I said, perfect. And one of them was, what is like? Kind of like, what is. What are you good at? And my mother said, I don't know, I'm not good at anything. And I said, mom, are you kidding? And she's like, no, really? And I said, come on, you can think of one thing. And she goes, no, really. Like, I don't. And my mom is super inventive and could have been an engineer. Like, she really, really thinks on how to fix things. And I'm like, how do you not see that? And she really didn't. I had to really walk her through a lot of the things that I know and even other people who know her see in strengths, but she couldn't even answer this question that's on a conversation starter for kids and family.

Yeah.

So, I mean, she's someone that should be in therapy but will never do it. So I just have to.

Yeah. But, you know, I mean, that's what you grew up around. Like, that is why before you could even speak, you were learning to be.

Yeah.

Right. So, like, let's take a moment and just celebrate how far you've come, because you could absolutely be exactly like her today. Right. And you are so far from it.

Thank you. Coaching. Thank you. Therapy. Thank you. Like, educational opportunities. Yeah.

Yeah. Anything else you want to. You want to tie together from. From the whole experience, being out here?

Yeah. I think that it's just. I remember telling you in the beginning when you were like, all right, if you had $10,000, like, what would you do with it? Now I was thinking, oh, my God, I don't even know, like, what. What would I even do with that money? I don't even have any idea. And now as I was in the US And I started traveling, I started realizing, no, if I had more money, there's a lot of things I can do with that. So I started to brainstorm and I started to think, what do I want more money for? What do I want to bring into my life? And so this was. I think this was the start of having kind of also healthy idea going forward of, okay, I want more money for. For these things, and I'm not a bad person for wanting that. Yeah.

I. I honestly, like, I know it's hard, but I think this is such a great learning experience for you.

Yeah, no, honestly, super eye opening and super validating, and I feel like I. There was a wall that I kept trying to, I think, like, jump over, and I couldn't quite get there, and now I feel like I just bulldozed through the wall, and now I'm on to the next steps. So I'm super happy because it's. Yeah, it feels more possible to. To move forward from here.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, and I think there's always that, that. That phase of growing and changing and evolving where you still feel very much attached to your roots, you know, and you still feel like it's in you. And going back and being able to, like, hold up who you are now to who they are, and seeing just, like, the disparity between, like, night and day essentially really shows you that, you know, you no longer have ties to it. You know, it might have felt like you had ties to it, but actually you're so different now. It just, It. It's. It's as if you've lost that language.

Yeah. Yeah. And it's also something that before, maybe it was an ideal that was serving me, but it definitely no Longer does.

How did it serve you?

Well, I was in the same place as my mother. I didn't know my worth. I didn't. No, I didn't see, I didn't have the confidence in myself. And so I didn't want to ask for more money or in general, ask for more things because I didn't. I was waiting for someone to see my value because I didn't know it and was expecting external validation when you're often just not going to get it. And yeah, this being taught to be extremely humble and try to play by these kind of. Yeah. This 19, like,'30s back in the day view of, you know, you just help your neighbor and you make enough to survive and be from good puritan families. Like, it's. Yeah, it's. It served me when I was poor and I was just content with making it by. And paying my bills. And I even had my own confirmation biases, meeting people that were rich and that were. And so I said, see, my mom's right. But then you start also meeting. You meet poor people that are. And you just kind of write that off. They're just an. You cannot really. It's. Yeah. Realizing. And so. Yeah, I think it's just been a growth process. Yeah.

Who are you? Now?

That's difficult to answer. I think that. I'm someone confident in my own skin and I'm confident to be myself with that. It means that I'm confident to. To simply ask for what I want. And I have been doing that. I have been asking for the amount that we set, 715 per month. And I've been fortunate that. Yeah. Going in with that confidence to ask that much and not. Because obviously when you go in and you act unsure, the person feels that. But going in and like going in with confidence, asking for that, people haven't bat an eyelash. And people, I mean, some people did tell me, like, yeah, this is too much for me, but no one questioned kind of my worth or value or if it was. Or saying to me, wow, that's really expensive. Whereas people were saying that to me before. So. And at a lower price point. So. So. And I think it is, like you said, it's about attracting the type of clients that you want because even then, I don't want to attract clients who think coaching is expensive because it's about perception. And they might not be ready to do the work because just like you said, they're too far gone. And I am aware I have a savior complex, but I gotta knock that off. And so to some Extent. It's, it's like you said, I also justify with thinking, you know what, I can donate some of the proceeds when I'm doing well. But let's first like take care of myself oxygen mask before I start helping others.

Totally, totally. Yeah. You know, it's. Yeah, there's absolutely space for that like codependent savior person to be in your business to a certain degree. But that's who writes your book. Right. That's who like creates a like webinar masterclass. That is a low ticket thing. Right. That's where like you get to be generous in a really low ticket way that allows for people to you know, get your expertise, you know, hear your approach to things, learn from you. And also like that's when they get to decide also that they are worth investing in. Right. Like your savior ness gets to be part of your funnel.

Alrighty. Something I was going to ask you about. I don't know if you'll. You'll be afford because it's not like already this was kind of a random ad hoc meeting. And then I don't know how you feel. I had to my partner do the personality type, which is interesting because you know, I always love these kind of psychological things. And he hated like 16 personalities. Myers Briggs. But he finds your money test apparently worthy because he said he was listening to the videos and he was like, yeah, I can totally see this. This is very spot on. So I didn't know if it's good to discuss together about our personality types and how to work together today or if. Yeah.

What are his personality types?

To my. You have Maverick and Accumulator tied for top two. And then.

And then what?

And then connector for the third.

All right though that's a, that's an interesting combination.

Yeah. And so that's why he was saying. And he was listening to your descriptions of them and he said this is why I always feel stuck because he's saying like I want to do something but then at the same time I feel stuck because you know, the investment in like the accumulator comes into play with the Maverick. So. So he said this is why I have a lot of inaction issues because I usually am just telling him just do it already.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So yeah, I mean the shittiest part about that like those top two. And is he there right now?

Yeah, so I can pull him in. He's. Come get your little chair. Yeah, you should hear this. She, she even said, you should have saw her face when I said you're top two. She was like, ah, so this seems like a very interesting mix. Good. Should work. All right.

All right.

Oh, perfect. Good.

Yeah.

Hi.

I didn't pull that. That was. That was a trick she pulled out of the bag. I didn't know that. So.

Yeah. So maverick accumulator and connector. Okay. So Maverick and accumulator, the fears that they have activate each other. Right? So, like, what makes the accumulator feel really safe is what freaks the. Out of the. The maverick. Right. Because they're missing out on an opportunity. Right. If you have all this money in savings, then, like, what are you doing with it? You could be making more. Right. Whereas the Maverick needs risk to feel any kind of, like, vitality in life. And, like, they're out there, you know, doing their all, and that scares the hell out of the accumulator. Right. And then, of course, the. The connector makes it a little extra interesting because the connector tends to generate income in very, like, atypical ways. Usually, like, they get jobs through recommendations from friends. They could get an investment opportunity from someone that they met on the train. Like, they're very, like.

It's.

It's almost like the people in their lives just want to bring them things that are of value. I spoke to a connector who, like, during the pandemic, his. A cousin who he'd never met basically gifted their apartment in San Francisco to him for a year. So he had free rent for, like, an apartment that would have been $7,000 a month, you know? But they have this guilt around charging because they're like, oh, no. But, like, I can't charge for the relationship with me. Right. So I'm curious, when you think about, like, asking for more money or making an investment, what comes up for you?

Well, that's a rough question. At the moment, it's very much focused on my current goal, which is to retire early, to be financially independent, mostly. Okay. So that those questions don't come up anymore, basically. It's like. I think it was the connector thing. Like, I don't want to really worry about money.

Right.

I like the comfort of not having. I mean, having consequent money to be able to do whatever I want on a. On a daily basis.

Yeah.

So at the moment, it's very much like that, but for the most part before that, like, before I started this, like, two years ago, I would say before that, I was very much stuck in this accumulator thing of I saved a lot. I was saving consequently, and my bank accounts were overfilling, and I started freaking out and stressing because I didn't know what to do with what I had anymore. I got, like, too much. I was like, okay, now it's a problem. I have to deal with it. I cannot just keep filling bank accounts. That's stupid.

Right?

And that's how it goes. Got started into, like, this whole investment thing, Fire and all that stuff. So at the moment, I'm more like, I keep my. My, My safety net, and then everything else goes there, basically.

Okay, awesome.

And that's my default. Like, now I don't really think about it anymore. But it's still. The conflict is always still that I don't want to have to deal with it, but I still need to deal with it because otherwise, I mean, it's an investment, right? Like, if you don't look at it, you can, to an extent, make it so that it's not taking too much space and time. And it's not at the moment, but you can completely forget about it because, I mean, tomorrow something could happen in the markets or whatever that crushes and you have to react then and not like, wait six months or a year.

Right?

You have to keep an eye on it. So, yeah, that's kind of like what's happening in my head.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I mean, it sounds like you're really in your strength with the accumulator and Maverick from how you just described that. I mean, the interesting thing about how you deal with money. So, yes, like, connectors do not like having to deal with it. They're very avoidant. However, mavericks tend to be very comfortable with, like, the nuance and the details of financial situations. You know, just. I mean, you pick it up just like that. And you probably take for granted that you pick it up just like that because that's how you've always been.

Yeah, I've been treasurer of an association before working a company. And. And he. I've done her accounting in the beginning for the longest time until I got fired.

But even my therapist said, no, this is causing problems in their relationship. You should, like, outsource this. So. But no, he. He is really good, like, he doing this. And even then he couldn't understand why I didn't want to read about fire and why I didn't want to get on board with him doing fire. And I was like, I don't want to retire early. Like, I like my job. I love what I'm doing. He's retiring early because he hates tech, but. But he does want to leave the money because the money is just so great. You cannot walk away from it. Whereas, yeah, we have different goals. So I'm like, I don't need to. To save to retire.

And it's not so much about retiring. It's mostly about financially independent. It's more this, the driver.

It's retiring early so that he. Yeah, it's retiring early so he can then do his passion projects.

Right, right, right. Yeah. So anytime. I mean, anytime you're in a relationship with an accumulator, the accumulator is going to get anxious around, like, how you're spending money, what you're doing and all that stuff. And also, like, the fact that he has Maverick. You don't have any Maverick. Right. So there's like views of like, oh, well, missed opportunity here, missed opportunity there.

Oh, my God, this is him all the time. No, I swear to God, if he tells me one more time I should have invested 15 years ago in a flat in this part of town that would have like, I don't know why I didn't do that. And I'm like, for sake, stop talking about it. Or, you know, I saw this business idea I had, you know, 15 years ago, I don't know why I didn't do it, but apparently now it exists, and I'm just like, stop talking about it. Move on, because you missed the train. But he's very much. Yeah, he constantly is thinking about these things, and it drives me bonkers because I'm very much.

Well, you have the Alchemist, right? That's. Yeah. So the Alchemist is constantly coming up with new ideas of how to do things. Right? So how. How you can kind of leverage this together is, you know, you can take your FOMO around all the things that you missed out on, right? And Susan can come in and. And say, okay, cool, what's the new idea then?

But then it seems like to some extent I can do that. But then you often throw the brakes on, and I don't know if that's like the accumulator that freaks out a bit, because then we've talked about things and you're like, well, so there's a.

Little bit of inflexibility with the accumulator, especially when there's a financial plan in place. Right. And if you're doing fire, that is a very strict financial plan, you know, so you might. It might make sense for you to actually give yourself like. Like extend the plan out a little bit and give yourself a budget to, like, play with, to have fun and to, like, to rest some stuff, because I feel like that's where your Maverick is going. To come out and play. And your maverick does have, like, the ability to generate some serious income, you know, and if you really, really want to set yourself up for financial success, at the end of the day, like, you have your savings set up. Like, that's something that the mavericks tend to really struggle with when they don't have accumulator with them. You're actually set up for so much success with your top two. Right. Because you have the ability to risk stuff and like, the, the comfort level with that. But you also have this baseline requirement. Right. I'm a. I'm a maverick, nurturer, celebrity. There's nothing in there about saving.

So.

So especially early on, it's like, oh, cool, I ran out of money again, whatever. You know, I have no accumulator that's like, no, no, no, this is bad. You know, sound the alarm. Please never let this happen again. Right. So you have a lot of strengths there, but I think you'll actually be a lot happier if you give yourself some, Some. Some extra budget to play with and to, like, make some not risky decisions, but, like, things that, like, take chances on some investments, especially when you're incorporating it into your connections. Right.

So it's using budget, basically.

I don't know, like, maybe she's been saying like a connection. So I'm just even thinking about BR Kuya, who's starting his new company around this platform, and you were just like, no, headspace. Can't do that. You cut it off.

No, but that's not about finance.

I mean, you could finance this.

No, you wanted my. You wanted me to work with him, not finance it. He doesn't need the money.

Yeah, but that's where you. You missed it. It's not just about. I mean, you didn't ask him. He was asking you for your technical support. But you could have asked him about supporting him in other ways. But this is like he was already reaching out as a connection and you could still leverage it. I. You're saying he didn't ask for money. Everyone needs money.

Yeah, sure.

So. And you even said it sounded like a good idea.

You could do that. You can also offer to, like, advise two hours a week on things to either to him or to team members that he's working with and do it for Act 4D.

Yeah.

You know, it doesn't necessarily have to be financial risk also. It could be. It could be time risk, you know.

See? See?

Yeah. But one of the things that I want you both to do is go through. And if you haven't watched Susan's like the videos explaining what her archetypes are. I want you to go ahead and do that, and Susan, I want you to do the same. And I want you to sit down and I want you to really understand, like, for each one of your top archetypes, what makes you feel supported, right? What kinds of questions send you into panic mode? You know, when your partner comes to you with a money question or a money idea, like, what kind of information do you need to be able to be helpful, Right?

And.

And a big part of that is understanding. Like, when you have a money thing, how do you go to your partner and get what you need from them? You know, case in point. I had, I had a client who is also a maverick, and he's like a maverick by, like 15 points. His other ones, I think, are ruler and, and nurturer, and they're way low. So he's just all risk. Like, you know, when he thinks of, like, oh, well, I want to make this investment in my business, okay? I don't have any money right now. I. I have enough credit on my credit card. I can make enough money by the end of the month to pay it off. Like, that's his, his way of dealing us both out.

We're playing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. His wife is an accumulator, nurturer. And so when she would ask, you know, how do we have enough money to spend on X, Y and Z? He'd say, yes, even if they didn't have any money in the bank account. Because he's thinking, oh, I can make that. I can make that back to pay it, right? And he's also thinking, she deserves it, right? So once they really understood, you know, what she was asking questions about, really, and the information she was asking for, like, he didn't realize when she was asking if they could afford it, if she was at that, she was asking, do we have the money in the bank account, right? He would come home and say, oh, I ran out of money, honey. And she'd flip the fuck out. And five minutes later, he would be not bothered by it. And she'd be like, so, so what do we need to do? Do we need to sell a car? He's like, no, no, tomorrow. Don't worry about it. You know, just don't red check today. So it's really helpful for you to understand both yourselves and your partner and understand, like, how you communicate better, right? Because especially as Susan is building her business, you know, there are going to be times where she's going to need to make that next big investment decision, and she's going to want to bouncing bounce things off of you.

Right?

And it can either turn into a very helpful conversation or it can turn to a conversation where you both need a break from each other and need to go for a walk. And we want it to be a helpful conversation, right? So I want you to go through and ask those few questions from each one of your top archetypes, right? Because remember, you know, in any given moment, you could be in your accumulator, you could be in your alchemist. You know, you like our top three. They, it doesn't mean that, like, we're always that top one. Like sometimes I'm in my celebrity and I'm making decisions from the celebrity and not from the maverick and not from the nurturer, right? And so being aware of where I am and what I need from whoever it is I'm I'm making money decisions with is going to be really helpful, right? And if you're ever in conversation and you're getting stressed out about money or you're starting to have any dissonance in the conversation, you know, having a moment of check in, like, oh, cool, sounds like we're getting activated. Which archetype is getting activated for you? You know, so for instance, your, your accumulator may get activated when it comes to spending money, right? And it's like, oh, I'm in my, my accumulator right now. My accumulator doesn't want us to talk about spending money at all. You know, this is what I'm currently thinking about and really understanding. Does that make sense?

What do you think?

Yeah, sure. I mean, no. Buying a house when bank account.

Do you have any?

Not about that, but no.

But this is an example where accumulator type comes in when. Talk to me about getting, buying our own place or something like that.

That was a lot of contention there. And finally I let it go because I was like, all right, I'm focused on building my business now, but I went through a period where I really wanted to own something. And this was very much an accumulator period because you were like, no, that cost too much money. No, we're not going to spend money on that. No, no, no.

Yeah.

And it's nothing. Difference in capital as well. Yeah. It's also in terms of risk taken. I'm taking more risk than you because you start with, with not much. And, and if, if we don't default on the, on the mortgage, like the bank is going to take it from me, not from you. That's. That's another. That's also.

Yes.

Piece of the puzzle. Which means that my plans are pushed even further.

But.

But it's not completely out of.

Yes, I'm glad you mentioned the fire again, because she was telling you to, you know, ease up and play with some money more. But could you do that because you hate your job so much that every day you're just waiting for the 45 to get there? Could you really extend.

No, it's not. I mean, yeah, no, but. No, it's. It's not. I mean, it's. Anyways, there's no guarantee. 45 is not. Like, there's nothing guaranteed there.

Yes.

Already. Like, if you. If you look at how I distribute it, and especially when you look at how much crypto I have, like, some people find this crazy as well.

I mean.

Yeah, it's just about reorienting certain pieces of it. It's just. Yeah, but it needs to be. And this is what I told you as well, if. About buying. It's like, it needs to be something that has a potential to bring some gain. If it's just to spend. To spend, then no, it's not an investment anymore.

Yeah, but we already talked about that. Like, that's clear. But I'm just wondering if you would be. Would you ease up on, I don't know, I don't know, with some of the fire to, I don't know, invest in another way that maybe is a.

Bit more and at the same time can reduce costs as well. There's always two flips to coin. Two flip to the.

Well, I wanna. I wanna also just name that. The accumulator is like one of the workforces of the archetypes. Right. So the accumulator will often, like, force themselves into work that they absolutely hate because they like the financial security that it brings. Right. That is a very false narrative. You don't necessarily have to force yourself into work. You absolutely hate to make all this money.

Yes. Imagine living with a career coach that tells you that partner. So it doesn't go in. And I'm like. And I always tell him for sake, never tell anyone that you hate tech and want to get out, because this is embarrassing. I am a. I'm a career coach focused on career change. And my own partner doesn't do this. Don't tell anyone. I'm like, oh, how embarrassing. But, yeah, you know, I mean, you know, the French, they're a little bit about, you know, like, torturing themselves and being miserable.

So we like to complain as well.

Yeah. It's.

It's misunderstands my complaining.

Yeah.

But being unhappy when it's sometimes just a way to vent and.

Right, right. Yeah. It's the French. One of those French pastimes. Striking, biking, and complaining about life.

Kind of lost it, but it's still a little bit there, so.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cool. So good. Good start for you both.

Do you have any questions about the things that you learned or watched or about your personality so that we make sure we're on the same page?

No. Good. Okay.

Awesome. It was so nice to meet you.

Likewise. Thanks for the free advice. And, yeah, I let you go back to.

She's helping you to help me because, like, we have to be on the same page.

I know. I mean, it makes sense and made some progress already, but I think this can help as well.

Yeah.

It's a process.

Yeah.

But, yeah, as the connector thing, if you want to invest in the project of Susan, you can by all means, invest in smart. I'm happy to, you know, take 10,000 here and there.

Sure.

Just pass that over.

Am I not doing this since the beginning of our relationship?

No. We do this weird thing where you give me money and then I pay you back. Because I say, oh, I ran out of money. Because that comes. The alchemist comes in where I'm like, I'll make it back. And then I'm don't make it back in time. And I'm like, think of to. Can you spot me some money until I can pay you back, but then I pay you back. It's not an investment.

Yeah, it's an investment without any return, which is a shitty investment.

One time we got into a huge fight because I don't know if this is a maverick or connector thing, but he thought he would make me into a business deal. And he said, oh, you ran out of money. Great. I'm gonna give you a loan at 1%. And I'm doing 1% because I'm generous. And I said, what the. We've been together 10 years and you're gonna give me a loan with interest? Have you lost your mind?

That's actually an accumulator thing. Ah, that's an accumulator thing. They don't like risk, and so they try this any way possible to mitigate risk.

Oh, no. And also, like, I mean, the bank was asking 4 or 7 or. I don't remember how much I was like to you for when.

But he thought this was generous. And I said, we've been together 10 years and you want to charge Me, interest like this. And I am, you know, my primary is nurturer, so I'm like, who the fuck does he think he is? So this. But now it makes more sense when, you know, the money archetypes and kind of how they function. That. Oh, he was freaked out and didn't want to give me the money. Where I just thought he was being an.

No, at this point was just thinking, this is just business. That's it. Like, it's to business to you. Yeah, but it is.

No, but that's.

That's honestly very much a. A maverick arc accumulator thing.

It's really.

It's. They get in business mode, and it's really hard to, like, separate out from. Oh, well, this is just me being a good person. This is me, my relationship. It's. No. Okay, cool. We're talking business. We're talking money. That is all we're talking about, right?

Yeah. This. And this made absolutely no sense to me. Like, we should love and support each other. And.

Well, also your. Your alchemist that has, like, this push pit pull with, like, I love money. I hate money. Money's evil. You know, people who have monies are evil probably got activated as well, because it. It probably, like, boosted some of the beliefs that you have around, like, well, money makes people less caring.

Yeah. And he was very cutthroat about it. I mean, very cutthroat.

But it was cutthroat to you. It was cutthroat to you as a nurturer and an alchemist.

It was a very fair deal.

Yeah, but it was. Yeah, but, like, the way.

Yeah.

So you. Your operating system saw it as cutthroat. His operating system saw it as generous and caring.

Oh, yeah. He really honestly. And I think. And we can laugh about it now, but. Oh, no, For a long time, this was very, very heated. And I was like, am I with. Like, I need to find a different partner?

The outcome is that in the end, you. You took it from the bank.

Oh, yeah.

7% or 6.

I did not take it. 7%. No, it was. It's 4%. And I chose to take it from the bank because I was so disgusted. But also, if I would have taken it from you at a lower rate, this would have put our relationship in jeopardy because I was so disgusted with you that you would even do it. Do that. So I said, oh, no, we're gonna separate this now from the relationship. Anything about money before I, like, strangle you in your sleep and, like, take all of, like, the inheritance. So, yeah. No.

So that's, that's nurturer because. Yeah, it's classic nurturer. When nurturer feels like it has to do with their worthiness. Yeah, yeah. So anyway.

Going forward, we just have to unpack. Yeah.

Yeah, cool.

I'll let you go geek out on your video.

I. All right, so.

Yes, okay, good. Back on my headset and was going to go like, dive into video games and geek out for a while. So.

Yeah, so hopefully that's helpful. And yeah, it's just you're never going to work it out perfectly. It's kind of like a PC and a Mac speaking to each other. But like, if you have the right, like connecting software, it can make it easier.

But I think it makes it so much, it makes so much more sense when you know, the money archetypes because, I mean, they say this is one of the biggest problems in relationships in the cause for people to split is because of money arguments. And I think when you aren't on the same page, that's when it can get really messy. And now that you see just how different everyone's operating system is and also that some come out more than others depending in the moment. There's just so many factors that can make things go awry.

Totally, totally. And you know, and I think a lot of people mistake it, like how, how relationships break down often seem to. To be about like how much money there is or isn't, but not. That's never the case. It's how each individual is making decisions around money. Right. And how. And the impact that has on the psycho and emotional like, well, being of the partner.

No, Right, Yeah, yeah, no, exactly. And so it's really interesting some of the things you said because it was like, oh, yeah, I see that very clearly. Yeah.

So, yeah. So the maverick. The maverick tends to inject more financial complexity into situations because they like the upside for everyone. Right. You get the money now, I get 1%. And then that's very. A very accumulator Maverick thing to do is like, oh, I'll make a little bit, but not too much because I care about you and I want to help you, but this is, this mitigates risk for me as well.

And I'm just thinking this is what I'm asking for is like a little more than one month of your salary. It's not breaking your bank. And I am your partner of 10 years.

Yeah.

And I've, I've been like, I always pay off my debts, so to speak. When I borrow money, it always goes back. So then I Was like, I'm sorry, what? You know, I'm not going out. And I ran out of money or something because I bought too much, like, junk. Like, I was like, I want this money to pay for Kathleen's program. That's what it was for. And so then I was like, I'm investing in myself and my business. And then he was like, I don't see the problem. I'm giving you a better rate than the bank. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So. So, yeah, this is. But it, I mean, it makes things so much more clear and also going forward, so. Because when we've been talking about now how we're functioning, what we want to work towards, one of the things we have been teetering back and forth on is. Is buying a flat as an investment to fix up and rent out. We've been kind of going back and forth on what kind of flat and, like, how big and where exactly and the market and these things. So this kind of helps to, as we talk about this, to see in the moment what comes out.

Yeah, well, and also, you know how I had you go and ask him about, you know, what you guys could save for? Right. And he went right into, well, here's all the complexity and here's this and here's that. That. I mean, it makes total sense now that he's a maverick accumulator, because that is exactly how a combo of those two would respond.

And I felt so shut down because I was thinking, oh, we're doing my homework. Like, let's think about what we can do. And Tomo's like, no, but we can't do this. No, but we can't do this. No, but. And I was like, well, then what can we do for him?

Saving is like such like an automated thing. It's something that he doesn't even have to think about. Right. Because he has that accumulator and it's like fun front and center.

Yeah.

For.

For you, like, he's not going to see that saving is hard. Right. For him, it's just like, well, I don't understand why is it so hard for people? Because that's just his operating system.

Right.

Whereas for you, like, we're working on you building that trust with yourself, you know? So when you go to him and you talk about those kinds of goals, you need to, like, be very pushy about. Okay, cool. Your accumulator is going to take for granted that this is hard for me. Right. Your maverick is going to want to make this really complicated and look at all the different things that we have to consider, like, when we get there, I need you to back off of both of those. Right. Because for me, here's the thing that I'm working on, and. And I just have to, like, build trust with myself here. Right. And we can get to those points. I'm not saying that we're never going to consider them, but for me to even get to the point where we can consider those, I need to see that I have enough money in the bank to even start thinking about it. Right? Yeah.

Yeah. Because then I just felt like, well, he's shutting down all these ideas. Like, then what am I saving towards if he's not on board for any of these? So. Okay. Yep.

We have about a half hour left. What else do you want to cover today?

So I was going to ask you. I'm going to share my screen. Oh, wait, can you give me permission to share my screen? So I started now that. Now that I'm home and, like, back more so in my element, I was trying to write my first, like, LinkedIn post for this challenge. And what I thought I would do is just now treat the challenge as, like, day one starting, like, you know, next week, and then just keep going because he says I have to do it on other people's timelines. So the first one, you know, is introduce yourself. And we talked about. About that. I didn't know what to say, and I could just say that. So I didn't know what to say. So I wrote something. But with that, I'm trying to figure out if I should curate it more so that it is more focused on me as a career coach rather than me completely as a person, because I'm. The way I'm reading it now. I'm just thinking this doesn't bring any value to the people who read it.

Like, let me see what you've written.

So. Then I can make it bigger if you need.

That's all good. Okay, so first and foremost, just formatting. You're going to want to make spaces between each line.

Yeah.

So it's more visually easy to. To read.

Yeah, to read. So it doesn't look like bulk. Mm. Oops. Tell me if I'm making you sick by making it jump.

Oh, okay. Well, now you're making me sick, but okay.

So then there we go. So then let's see. It should all be on the same page now.

Okay, so we're just gonna go through. Okay, so. Hi. I have connections and followers, so I thought I'd introduce myself. With that said, that's a filler Phrase, we're gonna delete that.

Right.

And then instead of saying, I don't know what to say, I'll be honest. I'm completely overthinking this. I'm.

Yeah.

Completely overthinking this. So I hope you'll enjoy some random facts. So it just, like, it just flows a little better there. And there's no filler link.

Right.

But I would actually make it into. Yeah, so I'll be honest. That's a new sentence. So I would put another enter in there. Okay. So I believe there's never a bad time for tea. I would, I would put in parentheses, my favorite type is this. Oh, that's mine too. Yeah. Honeysuckle and magnolia are two my favorite smells. I love that. I curse like a sailor. I would also put what your favorite curse word is.

I hear that. LinkedIn. Because it's professional. They, yeah.

You're not gonna actually spell the word. You're gonna do. Yeah, you're gonna do, like, first letter asterisk, and then you can do the last letter if you want.

But.

Yeah.

Okay. Or can I write it like this?

Oh, my thing went away.

Yes.

That's perfect. Yeah. I grew up by the ocean but my heart lives in the mountains. Love that. Reading is how I spend most of my time. My favorite genre is this. And actually how you phrase that is. It almost reads as like a French. French was translated into English a bit like my spend most of my reading. Yeah, so flip it. I, I spend most of my time reading.

I know. I, I, I now often say I take decisions, not I make decisions. Sometimes I start saying weird things.

And then I would put what your favorite genre is. Because remember, so, so far, I've already told you, you and I have something in common. We like the same tea. Right.

That's valuable.

That, that creates a connection. There's something called, like, this sphere of influence.

Right.

And so we all have this fear influence. And I want you to imagine it's like this big circle. It's like a Venn diagram. And in there, it's like your favorite actors, you know, your favorite restaurant, your favorite authors, your favorite books, your favorite color. And whenever someone says they like those things, you feel the overlap. Right. And the more overlap you have in your sphere of influence, the, the closer you'll feel to someone. Right. So when you're giving people information about your sphere of influence, like, they're gonna, they're gonna either feel really close to you, or, I mean, you're not saying anything hateful about anything, so they're Just they're going to feel close. Right. But the fun thing is when you share stuff more and more, you know, you attract clients who like the same thing, so you feel really, really connected to them. Right. In sports, I always root for the underdog. Large gatherings freak me out. Change my career several times. Here's. Okay, so number eight, that's a great opportunity to embed what you do now. Right. So when we think about like embedding, it's like the point of the post is not necessarily about what you do for work. However, here's a great moment for you to say, by the way, and now I help people change their careers because I've done it so effectively myself or now. And right now my career is helping other people change their careers.

Does. I'm worried, I was questioning again overthinking if this makes me sound flighty, that. And now I'm helping people change their careers. So I'm doing that at the moment. But maybe I'm not midway through helping you. I'm going to decide I'm dipping out and doing something different. So I was wondering if that seemed flighty. Does that make sense?

I don't think anyone's gonna see it as flighty.

Okay.

You know, I mean, if someone, someone's like, I've lost £100 and now I help other people lose £100. Like people could worry that they're going to gain more weight again, but like it doesn't, it doesn't rob them of the experience of having lost a hundred pounds. You know what? I.

Does that seem too wordy?

I've changed my career several times. I would do it more of a by the way, instead of like that being the point of it. I've changed my career several times and now I actually my career is all about. But you're not saying by the way. Sorry, it's. It's the type of aside. And I would say, I wouldn't say I was. I'm so good at it. Because here's what happens when if someone has to tell you that they're good at something, they're probably not good. And that's a subconscious thing that people see.

Yeah. It. Because it's like self bragging. And then you're like, well, I mean.

There'S bragging about like, I accomplished this, I did this, I did that. But like if someone has to tell you I'm just like laid back guy. You're not a laid back guy. You know.

Changed my career several times and now I help others do the same. Exactly and now as. Should I put that now as a coach, I help people do the same.

No, I would just leave it there because it creates some curiosity.

Y. Okay.

I'm a big advocate for mental health and super grateful for my own therapist. Love that. My life goal is to make the world a better place. I do this by supporting. Supporting others and realizing. Acting on their value and potential. I would get more specific. I would get more specific. I do this by supporting my clients in finding careers that where they can really leverage their unique talents. And make a difference.

True.

Yeah. I've attached two pictures of myself how I am. On a rare occasions. I would so just do one picture.

What I was going to do is not make a slide because, you know, you can upload one and then upload another, so then you have to slide. But I thought about making them pushing them together almost like a before and after. Do you think it's too much? Because I was going to show like.

Got it. Yeah. So take that sentence out. We're gonna. We're gonna call out the picture in a different way.

Okay. Yeah.

Okay. So remember, we want to make. When we're on social media, like, the instinct is to make ourselves seem interesting and smart. Right. The goal is to make the reader feel interesting and smart. So I would. Your call to action. I would say tell me some fun facts about you and. And we have in common.

And I'm actually more interested by that. Like, I don't. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah.

Tell me. Tell me three fun facts about you and if we have anything in common in the comments.

I hate fun facts. Tell me three or random facts, whatever.

However you refer to this.

And.

And then I would do Enter, enter on like, which side is going to be the. The rare picture of you?

I didn't get that far yet. I didn't think about it. So you think one makes more sense.

I would say on the left is a picture of me, you know, when I rarely emerge from my apartment and go out and have dinner with friends. On the right. It's. It's my sloth, couch potato self. You know, my, My.

But. Exactly. And that's. That was my goal because I always. My struggle with social is because I hate it because I want to be authentic. And there's just so many, like corporate people there that I just want to be legit and I just want to show people how I wear my bun on top of my head most days and not that I look.

Share one picture. Then like, and here's the thing. Like, you're going to Reintroduce yourself a gazillion times. Right. You're going to have a. A million different times to share a selfie. Like, don't use them all in one go.

Okay.

Yeah. So.

So then for the picture, should I just say this is a picture of me in my natural habitat. Yeah.

Yeah.

And then. I'll make sure to take a picture. I mean, I have several, but maybe I should have to take a picture where I can get everything in my natural habitat. Yeah. Mug with tea. A cat laying on me.

Yeah.

Along with my computer and my hair in a bun.

Yeah. A book near you.

All the things I was about to say. And that's really. He probably already had like 10 of these on his phone as is, because he's always making fun of me because I do look like a sloth most days when I'm just working.

No, I love it. I love it. And then.

What else?

And then you just want to do three to five hashtags, you know, and don't, don't overthink it. Just have it be like, introductions, social media, LinkedIn coaching, etc.

But what's the purpose when you say don't overthink hashtags, then why the. Are we putting hashtags? Like, yeah, I feel like there's supposed to be a strategy when it comes to hashtags that, you know, people go. But then if I'm just like, randomly, like, I'm just gonna put this random hashtag, like.

Yeah, but I mean, like, here's the thing. Like, LinkedIn is such a janky AF platform that if you put too many hashtags, it floods the system and doesn't show you to anyone. But, like, it kind of helps people, like, target the conversation. So how I use hashtags is, like, I'll pick like, five hashtags that have to do with my ideal clients or things that they'd already be following. So, like, hashtag coaching, hashtag success, hashtag, hashtag failure, hashtag imposter syndrome. Right. And then I also use hashtags as a conversation starter. So, like, you know, it would be like, hashtag. What would be something relevant? Hashtag, don't give me your Earl or don't give me your English breakfast. Hashtag, you know, the pirate couldn't beat me in a swearing contest. Hashtag, let me see.

Like, fine, like, find the hashtags.

Every word is a. It has like a capital level at the beginning, letter at the beginning, hashtag Sarah J. Moss fan club. You know, just ridiculous stuff. Because then people can make up hashtags in the comments and it becomes kind of like a fun inside joke. Right. But like, in. LinkedIn is one of the jankiest social media platforms. And I mean, it's not like people are really using it as a search engine.

Yeah.

You know, so, I mean, it doesn't matter. You could spend an hour researching different hashtags to use, but it's probably not going to work.

Right.

Versus Instagram. You know, if you're interested in Great Danes and you do you search hashtag Great Danes, you're gonna see a ton of Great Dane stuff, right?

Yeah, yeah.

And that's how people use Instagram and TikTok.

Yeah, exactly.

Anyway, but like, I would do hashtag job search, hashtag promotions, hashtag career development. You know, those are three really solid ones for you. Now, obviously, no one's following that hashtag, so it's more of just a, you know, your statement.

Yeah.

Call to action. Without it being a call to action.

Yeah, yeah.

So because you're a coach, remember, career coach, only other coaches are going to be using that. So I would. I would rather you do career change. Right. Unless you're trying to get in front of career coaches.

No, not necessarily. I know a lot of them, like.

Yeah, exactly. They're not your ideal audience.

Okay. Yeah.

Okay, good. But, yeah, so, like, your whole question about, like, what's valuable value is also feeling connection. Right.

Something like this.

I feel super connected to you, even if there's not. Even if there are things on here that we don't have in common.

I mean, I knew you would resonate with this. Like, you also curse a lot. So I was like, yeah, but. Yeah, but a lot of this stuff.

Is stuff that you'd have to be friends with you to really know about you.

Yep.

Right. So it does kind of create this. This experience of being closer to you. Right.

Okay.

Anything else on this?

Nope. Then I think it's cool. Now I feel good about just. Yeah. Scheduling it. I. I was thinking about timing because I know LinkedIn doesn't have. Most visits are Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursdays. So I thought because we're going into a long weekend, because Monday's Memorial Day, I thought I will just schedule to have it posted on Tuesday, but I'll go ahead and spend the next few days writing out several content things related to the planning and then just go ahead and schedule them.

Awesome. Yeah. And then if you want to write anything and pop it into Heartbeat, I can go through and edit and give you feedback also.

Yeah, I think this is really helpful because My problem, I think is I write things and then I overthink and then I don't post it. And if I just have it goes back to the fucking hand holding. Like if it's just someone that says go little bird, you're okay, then I can just do the shit.

So yeah, and it's, you know, it's this for, I mean, for you to post stuff that is about your business and is meant to get you clients and to get any engagement on it, we have to get people to care about you first. Right. Because like most of the people who are your ideal clients, they're not going to comment on it because their boss to see that they're commenting on something about job change.

Yeah, exactly. And that's it. And, and it's interesting because I just did a three part series with a coach that I used to work for, like work with. And, and we did on neurodiversity. And a lot of my friends told me, I'm sorry, but I don't want to like your neurodiversity series because I'm afraid people will think I'm neurodiverse. And I was like, okay, that was quite interesting for me because I, yeah, I didn't think that that would be so much of an issue. But my friends who usually like everything, even though it's about career change, this was the hang up that I don't want people to think that I'm neurodiverse. And I said, I don't think just because you like it, people will assume that.

But okay, you know, it's like stigma, stigma still attaches to so many weird things that we wouldn't expect. And that's a great example of it.

Yeah, yeah. And, and that's why I, I'm quite open about it because there's so much, I mean there's a lot of stigma about mental health as well. I'm the first to tell people when I'm talking, I'm like, oh yeah, like my therapist has been my savior. Like, yeah. And, and I think that's been when I've met people and like had clients that were struggling and I saw that they needed someone. I think it comes from a place where they don't feel attacked. Like they feel like. Because I usually say, you know, I have a therapist and it's super beneficial, maybe that's something that could be of value to you. I just know it's been a savior for me because it comes from more of a personal thing rather than, oh, I think I, I don't think I can help you. Like, I think you need a therapist.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, 100%. And. And you know, really most of these, I mean, number two, I think would be kind of tricky to make into its own post unless you're tying it to a bigger memory. But like each and every one of these.

Yeah.

Post on its own.

And actually number two could be actually a longer post because being home, that was the one thing of value, is walking around and smelling the two mixes together. Because that's what we have in the South. There's lots of honeysuckle and lots of magnolia and they're in bloom now and just walking and getting a whiff of that, walking down the sidewalk. That's why actually, even in Europe, the perfumes that I have, they often I look for ones that have like a honeysuckle smell because it's so. Well, you know, smell is such a powerful memory sensor.

Yeah. So, I mean, you could absolutely do a personal post that has to do like with each one of these individual factoids, you know, and that would be your. My story post for a while. Right.

Okay.

What else you got?

I guess going forward it would just be, Do you have any relevant homework for me? And then we can. And then if. Yes or no. And then we can look at maybe just go ahead and say maybe what we could cover next week.

So we're off next week. Next week. Because it's a 5. 5 Thursday month.

Oh.

So it would have been two weeks off, but instead it was last week and this. Yeah. Off and next week off.

Yeah.

So over the next two or next two weeks, what I want you to really work on is building out your content. Right. Because we've been doing so much work on your relationship with money. Right. And you've. You're very confident in your new pricing. I want to start getting you more at bats with potential clients who like, by the time they get to the. The sales call with you, they feel like they know you. They feel like they already trust you. It's going to take time, but I want you to start really going through the content plan and building out your content. And you can do it based on the market research you did with Katrine. And if you need any feedback on any of it, you just post it into Heartbeat and I can give you back and help you edit it.

Yeah. And I think it is just the. I mean, content's always been hard for me because I joke I should have been born in another error because I hate technology, I hate social media, but I do like Connecting with people. So it's really hard to try to find like it's forcing yourself to make posts and I want to feel it. Like I want to feel that it's a meaningful post if I'm gonna throw it out there. And so.

Okay, so I wanna, I wanna actually double click on that. So meaningful is a. Is a very loaded word, right?

Yeah, exactly. Which is why I struggle with social media because I just think why the do people give a about what I like? Like people wanna know if you can help them or not. But you're right, it is about connection. But I would like to connect with people. But I feel like I would want to connect with people face to face, not on social media, but it's the time like this is how we do it. So it's like, yeah, yeah. I mean, yes, there's some limiting belief here that I obviously need to work through, but yeah.

So one of the things about selling coaching online is we're actually asking for a great deal of bravery from our clients. Right. Because we're saying, hey, you, you have all this stuff that you're feeling really vulnerable and insecure about. You should get on the phone with me, a stranger, and just barf up all of your personal guts to me and trust me that I'm going to be a safe space for it. Right.

And what's. Yeah, but what's weird is I seem to do this really well because the amount of people that cry with me on introduction chemistry calls is a lot. And a lot of people tell me, oh my God, I'm so sorry. I never expected that I would cry over this. I can't believe I'm crying in front of you. This is so embarrassing. And when I tell them, honestly, you're not the first, you won't be the last. This is actually very common and I'm glad that you feel comfortable with me. But yeah, it's, it, it's very, very common.

Yeah.

And also you'll get more bookings. Those are your low hanging fruit, right? You'll get more bookings the more people feel like they know you. Right. Your yes, no rate will also increase because when people get on the phone with you and they feel like they already know you and there's that level of trust, it's like they've already decided to hire you essentially by the time they've gotten on the phone with you.

Which is nice because it is. I do find that I think I'm getting more and more of these because I've been trying to do more LinkedIn lives. And I, I do collaborate with Career Foundry doing webinars for them. And so I do feel like lately more and more have already kind of been sold. They're not just trying to figure out about career coaching. So that was nice. Another thing that, like, you know how you mentioned that making assumptions about clients, like if they can pay or not, a market that I had no idea, didn't even think about or look into is Africa. And I'm now getting. I got one client from Kenya and. Yeah. And then I have two more. I just talked to a man in Zambia today who even said, didn't bat an eyelash at the price and said great. I actually would prefer to pay in full, but I just need one month to get it together and we can start then. And then I had another man who is in Senegal who said, hey, I'm actually doing intensive training in English, but can. And I want to finish up that first, but can we start once that's over? And so I put them in the process just like you said, like, okay, let's go ahead and get things started. Let's schedule your first session. But I never thought about. And they're in our same time zone.

Right.

In Europe. I just never thought of intentionally targeting. But I'm just. They're finding me and they. And they're. Yeah. And they're signing up like right after and. Whereas people tend to think Africa poor. Yeah. And.

Yeah.

Well.

And I think it's, it's evidence that you're speaking to the pain and the correct pain really. Well. Right.

Yeah.

You know, obviously getting a high paying career is something that everyone can say that they want. Doesn't necessarily mean that they're set up to work with you.

Y.

Right. So that's great feedback.

So. Yeah. So this was, this has just been really interesting to see that I apparently seem, the way I talk and the way that I function seems to appeal to a lot of different people all across the continent of Africa. And. And so, yes, I'm quite excited to maybe explore this a bit more because it's not something I thought of and maybe it should be more a part of my intentional strategy.

Yeah. 100%. You know, it's. I actually don't know that you need to change your strategy because they're already coming to you.

Yeah.

You know what I mean? Like you're, you're getting that market without even going for that market.

Yeah.

You know what I mean? So I wouldn't change anything about it. Yeah. I, I would just do some uptick on the personal post that you're sharing, you know, so people have that basis level of like, oh, I know Susan, she's a friend of mine. Right. But yeah, start, start working on that content calendar. Because also, like, if you don't like social media, let's build out your content calendar so you can just kind of reuse it.

Yeah, no, exactly. And that's what I need to do because I, I hate it so much that I need to do something to be able to just reuse and make it valuable and get it over with because it's painstaking and. But I think like you said, I just need to throw it in heartbeat because I overthink it. Like, I wrote this post and I was overthinking it the whole freaking time. I can't tell you how many times I went back and like, delete, rewrite, and then I just was like, bucket, this is something I'm going to ask her since we, we have the call today. So as long as you just tell me. Okay, it's good, go now. Then I will feel better. I won't overthink. I'll just say, Katie's the expert. Great. She says, yes post, we're good to go.

Yeah.

Yeah. And one of the things that I like to do also is I'll go through and I'll comment, but if parts of it need to be rewritten, that. Then I'll actually tell you, replace it with this bit and I'll explain why. So you really understand. And usually when I'm doing this intensely with my clients for a couple months, we really only need to do it for a couple months because after a couple months you start reading.

I can interpret them. Yeah.

And you're like, oh, she'll say this, I know I need to change this right now. You know, by the time I get to it, I'm like, I don't have any comments here. This is great. So, yeah. But the more you use me, the less you'll need me later.

Yep.

Right.

Which is. Yeah, what I need to be doing, obviously. So. Right.

Cool.

Cool.

Awesome. Do you have any questions?

No, I think that's good.

And.

Then from. Yeah, from here. Then we can look at. We'll look to see how much I get as a part of the content. Content for in two weeks when we meet. So nice. Good. Today, Honestly, there's so many. But the first thing that came to mind is trust myself because I knew I didn't sign up with you on a whim. I. I'm quite calculated. So when I did sign up it was that I had hope that there was light at the end of the tunnel about, you know, overcoming all of these barriers that I have to. In order to be successful in my business. So. So, yeah, the main takeaway is trust yourself because look at where you are. Yeah.

Yeah. And. And a year from now, Susan won't even recognize right now, Susan, you know, like, you're working so hard and so diligently on this. It's just, you know, like, where you come from cannot determine where you go.

Yeah, right. Yeah. And I'm really excited just to see, like, I'm really excited to put in the work to see what comes out of it and see who I become. Yeah. So good. Thank you so much. Have a wonderful rest of your afternoon, and I'll see you in two weeks.

All right, see you in two weeks. Bye. Bye.

Thanks. Bye.