BYOB Beginner Group Session - 1st October 2025

It.

Sa. Okay.

Hello.

All right. How are you doing?

Okay. You look all ready for your day today.

No, no.

Well, you look. It's the lipstick. You totally look, you know, And I.

Was, like, waiting for people to show up, and I was like, oh, I have. I just cleaned out my purse, and it was on my desk, and I was like, I might as well put some on, you know?

Just saying.

How are you doing, boy?

I'm doing okay. My anxiety feels really high today. Like, just, you know, sometimes I. I dance and butt into political things that just, like, make me insane, and I think I'm in one of those moments, and then I need to, like, distance myself from it, but I'm just feeling pretty fragile about it all right now. So that's.

Let's do an activity then, before we dive into coaching. Because if this is here, it's not going anywhere, and anything we do is going to be tainted by that. Right.

Yeah.

Why don't you do this? I want you to close your eyes, and I want to just do a deep, deep scan of your body.

And.

I want you to notice where in your body is this anxiety living. And just sink into that feeling. Really notice what it feels like there. Now, why don't you put some words to what you're. What you're experiencing.

Yeah, I. I mean, I think it's like a dual sensation where all the sensation pulls out of, like. Like, it's like I'm dissociated from having hands or legs, and it all kind of comes into my core and it's down sort of between my. The bottom of my ribs and my belly button sort of in that.

Yeah.

Solar plexus and diaphragm area. It's like.

Yeah. Okay, cool. So I want you to, again, feel into it and describe to me what it feels like physically.

I'm just going to close the door. Sure. Feels like it's kind of this dispersed weight, you know, it's not like a solid thing. It's kind of a. Like. Like, visually, it would look like something you'd see in space. You know, it's different colors of blackness and texture and.

Yeah.

And it. Yeah. Maybe a little stronger for whatever reason. On the left side, like in my back. Yeah. There's a little bit more like. Like, almost. My muscle wants to, like, twitch and be pulled into the black hole of it.

Gravity to it, I'm hearing.

Yeah.

Okay, cool. And does it have a temperature?

I don't think that's, like, a defining.

Okay, so.

No.

And.

And.

Okay, so it's pulling the muscles in your back towards it. What else is it doing to your body?

Like, it's like it's taking all the sensation and awareness out of my arms and legs. You know, they get like, just. There's nothing. Yeah, there's nothing there.

Gravity is pulling.

Yeah.

Okay, cool. So I want you to go back into that sensation, and I want you to focus in on that pulling sensation. And feel around, feel into the edges of where you're still in your body and notice what's there as well. And as you focus on it, what does it do?

I don't think it changes fundamentally. I mean, the sensation doesn't change, but it. There's a tiny turning down of, you know, of like, the othering of it doesn't help. And so just letting it be.

Yeah.

Feels a little bit better.

Now I want to ask the sensation a question. What is its job? What is the job it's trying to do for you?

I was sort of struck. This is like a foo over here. But when at some point, somebody very close to me who I adore, went into septic shock, and often we learned, like, I didn't know, but that you can. Very common side effect to lose fingers and toes because your body pulls all the blood and oxygen out of your extremities to try to keep you alive in your core.

Yeah.

So, you know, it feels like the fact that I. I mean, my hands aren't dying, but this bizarre dissociation with my limbs.

Yeah.

It's like a parallel to that. Like everything's being pulled into. Right. Like to keep it safe or to oxygenate my organs, which I need first. Right. Like it's my body triaging kind of. Does that make sense?

100%. Yeah. So instead of septic shock, it might be spiritual shock.

It's like spiritual shock. Yeah.

Okay, cool.

Yeah.

Okay. So I want you to feel into it, knowing that that's the job it's trying to do. It's trying to keep you alive from this spiritual shock. Okay. Just focus back into. And I want you to keep your eyes closed, but I want you to ask it just to give. Give you its top three thoughts that it has going on right now.

It wants me to journal or write about it, I would say, you know, it wants me to know that when I try to pull away from it and avoid it, it makes it worse or certainly not better. And I guess it appreciates being acknowledged for doing a job, even if I don't like it.

Right, right. Yeah. What was that joke that if we ever do get Our first female president, like the first gentleman is just gonna do useless things like build a porch that nobody wanted. Yeah. So this, this sensation is doing a job. You don't want it doing this job. Right. But it doesn't see anyone else handling this job that it sees as necessary. So it's doing this job. It wants you to process it. And of course it's your 10. Like it doesn't feel good. And we don't tend to want to go towards things that don't feel good. Right. But it needs you to so that it can process through. So what's coming up for you now?

Yeah, just, you know, like a blog just. Or a substack post kind of just like, oh, wow, that, like that anxiety, like what's it, what is it doing there? And the parallel between the sepsis and, you know, I'm just going to take a note. So I remember.

Yeah. Spiritual shock, the new sepsis, the sepsis of 2025.

And just a lot, a lot going on and just trying to, just to keep learning, like how to engage with the world right now, you know.

Yeah.

And I have come nowhere near figuring it out, but we're, we're in it for years, for years here, you know.

Yeah. Yeah.

I was coaching somebody who's a non profit yesterday of a, you know, one of, one of the issue areas that's, you know, being annihilated by this administration and you know, she's so tired and we were talking about like, it hasn't even been a year. Like you gotta, if you work Sunday, you gotta take Monday off. You know, I mean, it was this sort of like we've gotta pace ourselves differently from how I have been pacing myself and my outrage and despair and fear. But I don't, I haven't found it yet, like how to, how to stay sane.

Yeah. You know, what was it that Rick always said? You know, our life is determined by the two conversations we're having, the ones with other people and the ones with ourselves.

You know, he says lots of quotable things that Rick.

Right, right. But you know, it's, I come back to that a lot right now because the conversation that I'm having with myself, like, is often the thing that has me withdraw from other people. Right.

Yeah.

And I think for a lot of us, like we're learning to have that relationship with ourselves where we process through the, the feelings before we can go and bring stuff to the world. Right. Because one of the reasons, I like just to share with you, one of the things that I was part of my decision making in. In pausing my podcast is I was having a really hard time metabolizing all the things fast enough to turn it into content. Yeah, right. Because it's like, I do bring all of the things that are going on for me into that podcast.

Of course. Yeah.

Right. And it's hard when, like, you feel so much in your body when you're. That. When that emotion, like, like is in you and it gets stuck because, like, you don't have the processing ability to. To go through it. All. Right. And I think that's the muscle that a lot of us are having to flex right now and develop is the ability to, like, absorb the emotion and then process through it and. And continue on with our day.

I. I mean, the words, like, I just can't right now, literally, I never used to say, and now however many times a day. And it might have to do with something political or it might have to do just with, like, I'm so saturated.

Yeah.

That, like, I just can't, you know, I can't return this email. I can't have this conversation with my partner because I just can't focus on, like, you know, something house related or garden related. Right. It's like, I just can't. Seems to be my mantra for 2025.

Right, right.

Which isn't the person that I aspire to be. And yet, like, here we are, you know?

Yeah. Okay. Well, so I just. I just saw the new Downton Abbey.

Oh, did you? Okay. The movie. Is it a movie?

The new movie? Yeah, it's the final one. But when you were saying that, what struck me, I was brought back to the second season when it was during World War I, and obviously, like, Downton, like, they had to scale back on how they would normally run the place. Right.

Because I watched all the episodes on tv, so. Yeah.

Right. So. But I feel like spiritually we're going through that right now. We have these, like. Like, if we imagine ourselves as manor houses and our lives as manor houses, and we have the butler and we have the footman, and we have the maids, and we have, you know, Mrs. Hughes and we have Mrs. Patmore, and we have all these different things that functioning well. Like, right now we have, like, too many of our people off to war to be able to function at our normal thing. So what are the ways in which we can kind of create our wartime sop of how we run the manner that will allow for us to. To not go crazy and not get down on ourselves and to, you know, bring our. Our full Selves to the areas that still matter the most.

Right. Still need the kitchen. Don't need all the guest rooms. Right. Yeah.

No, strip the beds, cover everything in sheets. They're just gonna get dusty for a bit. Yeah, yeah. What else?

Yeah, I don't know. What areas are you shutting down? I mean, your podcast, but like, what else podcast?

I honestly, I cut, I cut off ties with some family members that. It was just, it was, it wasn't a good relationship for me anyway. And also like, you know, it just, it wasn't, it wasn't feeding into me. You know, I am prioritizing some friendships over others. You know, I'm not learning anything right now. Like, I've very intentionally not invested in personal development this year just because I can't absorb anything else beyond therapy.

Yeah.

You know. Yeah, I'm like in French class. That, that feels like an escape thing.

You know, that you're learning French. Yeah, I speak French because I took it in high school and college and it's like, I live in Colorado and I don't speak Spanish, you know, was I thinking. But anyway, you know, very, very high percentage of, you know, Latino, Latinx people here. Not too many native French speakers hanging out in Colorado, so.

On Cape Cod either.

Yeah. Well, maybe if I have to, you know, move to Quebec, I'll be in good shape.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So what would it be for you?

Yeah, I, I. What would it be? Well, where it is, which is not ideal, you know, but it's like, it's so hard to feel expansive, you know, I mean, I just, I feel like I've really, with withdrawn a bit on LinkedIn, you know, I just don't have the energy to generate a ton of content right now. It's like some truth telling to myself just, you know, maybe longer than. But, you know, the book is. Feels a little stalled right now and I'm realizing like, that I was sort of hoping to outsource to the publication of the book, like, where I wanted my life to pivot to and, you know, and I don't, I don't believe that it's going to work that way. For a variety of reasons. The. The book needs to be on pause for a hot minute here and. But that means me, like, reconciling, like this is my choice and I have to figure this out. That's a hard truth for me to, to be in. So it's. Yeah, there's a, there's a bit of swirl for me right now in this. You know, when I look at the resistance to Getting a lot of new clients or in fundraising, you know, and it's because it really. I had hoped to pivot somewhere, and I haven't yet transitioned here or here with clarity to what I want that to be. So I don't even remember exactly the question, but I. I have really ratcheted down my marketing at this moment, like, just giving myself some space.

Yeah.

So, yeah, that's. That's a place I. I also have a much smaller social existence than I would say I did. I don't know, than I have in the past. And I've been saying no to many more things.

Yeah.

Or like, just. I just can't. I can't go to the event. Like, I can't network tonight. I can't sit and have vapid conversations with people. You know, I just. I just can't. So I don't. So those are some places I would say that I'm kind of pulling in.

Right.

Yeah.

Right. Yeah. I want to come back to that part, because there's something in there for sure.

But.

Yeah. I mean, everything you're going through is normal for right now. Every. Like, everyone is going through some variation of this. Yeah. Like, I'm going through some variation of this. Right. And it's. It's different. And also, like, the cool thing about humans is we do acclimatize ourselves fairly quickly to new things. Right. And, like, there are things we can do to influence what's going on, but we have no control around what's going on. Right. The things we have control around are right here. And the support we're giving ourselves and the support we're giving those who are in our inner circles and our clients.

Yeah. It feels like sometimes in life, you know, especially as a pleaser, like, my work is to say no to things. Then sometimes I forget my yes. Does that make sense? Like, I so over calibrate king about, like, I'm not doing this and I'm not doing that, and yet I find myself like, well, what. What am I saying yes to right now? This may be a better question.

Yeah. And I mean, what a. I mean, that's. That's a whole piece in itself, you know, like recovering people, pleasers who've learned to say no. What are we saying yes to right now?

Right.

It's a. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, you know, you don't, like, let's bring back to the war effort. You know, Downton, they decided they could house officers who are recuperating. That was it. Like, they weren't. They weren't also Becoming a food kitchen. They weren't also doing this. They weren't becoming a factory for making bandages. They weren't doing this. And, like, they were just a rehab center.

Yep.

Right. So what's. What's your version of the rehab center?

I think what comes out of my mouth honestly is saying yes to helping people raise money right now until lightning strikes, because it actually is part of this war effort.

Yeah.

And as much as, you know, it might be something that I just feel a little burned out on after so many years, like, if I said yes to it as something profound and useful right now, that would feel a lot better than what I'm doing because, you know, it is important and there's a lot of good work that's going to get shut down if people can't figure out how to fund it. So.

Yeah. So, I mean, there are so many ways you can formulate that, you know, you could turn it into almost a group coaching session.

Say more.

I mean, you could. I mean, how you work with clients one on one. You could say, hey, listen, I know a lot of, like, foundations are struggling right now. If you're trying to raise money and it feels like squeezing blood from a rock and you don't have a lot to invest, you can sign up for this small cohort, you know, so it's 500amonth for four people to share these calls.

And.

And you also have the cohort. You have people in there that you could turn to. Right. That's absolutely something you could do to generate income for yourself, to keep yourself going and also to help the war effort. Right. I also want to name that the fact that you are rejecting, like, the vapid, like, superficial, like, networking groups that just feel like they're, I don't know, like, just completely oblivious to what's going on right now. You're not the only one. You are not the only one who's there. And I mean, if you want it, that means that there are other people who want it too.

Yeah. I mean, I have joined a couple of groups that. That feel much more. Much more nutritious, you know, where people are dealing with hard things. But at least I'm getting, like, you know, I'm getting a hit of people's. Even if it's their despair, like, that's real. That feels better to me right now than, like, how are you? I'm like, I don't know. Do you want the real answer or am I being the Pl. You know, like, there's gotta be better questions that we can ask.

Yeah. I mean, but you know, like, you can use that to your advantage. You could create spaces like that. Right. Processing the big feelings when you see the news. You could do, you could do pop.

Up workshops like that, like a fundraiser support group.

Yeah. You could raise money for the aclu, Planned Parenthood, enter any other organization that you want to support. You know, it would help to build your list, but also it help people really process through this and have real conversations. Yeah. You know, and you get to present yourself as a coach who helps people deal with big things like this. You know, I once did a workshop about healing from corporate trauma. It has nothing to do with what I do for my work.

Yeah, you offered that as a workshop.

I was raising money for the aclu, I think at the time, and I got a client out of it, really.

Held the workshop, and everybody paid a little bit for the workshop. And you donated it to the aclu.

Exactly. Yep.

Yeah. Feels better. And you know, just being open, like at some point there is a pivot for me, you know, but I, I need to know what, what it is. Right. Until, you know, before I can fully do that. And it's that energy of being like part way out and part way burned out of what I'm doing, but not yet, you know, facing somewhere else that's also like a swirly, you know, it's not a forward momentum place to be.

Yeah, yeah. You know, it's, it's that awkward time where like you're on the dance floor with someone, you're like, I don't really want to dance with you anymore. Right. And then. But you have a couple options. You can stand on the dance floor and wait for another partner, or you could go seek another partner out and see if they're the right partner for you to dance with. Or you can go sit down. If you go sit down, the chances of a partner coming and getting you are lower because their chance of rejection is higher. Right. You might not want to dance. Like if you're standing on the dance floor and just kind of like dancing to yourself, like. Yeah, you're down to dance. You just don't have a partner right now. And if you go and ask them, it makes it so much easier for them.

Yeah.

You know, so in this stage of your business, you know, I know it's tempting to try to like figure it out in private and like secretive way and try to work out all the things, but also if you go out there and you just start doing things, you're. It's going to give you so many More signals and data points for you to go off of to figure it out.

Yeah, right. Doing different workshops and.

Yeah, yeah.

Yes.

Yeah. And you might even partner with some nonprofits. I mean, you have credibility with them because of the work you do. Right. So you may say, hey, listen, I want to host this fundraiser where I'm, you know, helping people do this. Would you guys mind promoting it as well? Because all. All the funds are going to be going to you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Fundraising, support groups, different kinds of.

Yep.

Yeah. Of like just real spaces.

Yeah.

Yeah.

100%.

What?

I said 100%. I mean, it's needed right now, you know, it's needed.

Right.

You don't have to go and say yes to all the things. Right, right. I will also share and it's kind of a side. A side quest. One of the things that I've done for me that's really helpful is I, like, pick one day a week where I don't look at social media. Just don't. I might. I'll still use my phone. I might have a. Like an audiobook playing the whole time so that, like, my brain is used up in some other fashion. But it's been really good for my mental health.

Yeah. I mean, I tend to stay off LinkedIn on the weekends, so that's, you know, been a. Some equivalent.

Yeah, yeah. And honestly, LinkedIn, I'm very much posting getting out of there, coming back when there are comments, responding to the comments getting out, you know, because a lot of it is doom and gloom stuff, and it's very hard to.

It's very hard to read. And like, when I read these, like, Perry Hedrick. Is that his name? I know you also follow and, you know, and he shows a tweet, you're like, I know they're not called tweets anymore. A truth, you know.

No, no, no, no. We're gonna. We're gonna dead name. If we're gonna dead name anything, we're dead naming Twitter.

You know, just reading these tweets, which I've pretty assiduously avoided, you know, following and because I get so outraged and, you know, I wrote in the comment like that, you know, thank you for sharing this, because the truth is, like, I can't. There it is again. I just can't, like, right now, you know, my mental health is not. But it's great to have somebody highlight one from attention. And he. He wrote back and he was like, we can't afford to, you know, be quiet. Like, I get it, I got it. But, you know, great, now 10 minutes, and it's going to take me an hour to recover, you know, or more.

Totally, totally.

So it's just hard. And I like his posts a lot for the most part, and I'm glad that he's out there. There are just days where it's like, it just feeds my powerlessness, you know?

Yeah, yeah. And. And, you know, I think we all serve different functions. There are people who are flashlights right now. They're shining lights on things that people would otherwise not see. And that's important because, like, you know, for the people who wouldn't see it and who might have their blinders on, they need to see it. Right. There are folks like you and me who are kind of like, I don't know, support.

I don't know.

We're like the bras. You know, we find different ways to, like, lift people up and boost them and help them, like, be better about their day and about their purpose.

You know, I did just buy a really cute bra. Just saying, wait, I even have it on. How cute is that?

Oh, that is cute. Oh, that's fun.

I know I'm being recorded, so. Hi.

Hey. You didn't flash anyone, so you're good. Fathom's like. And then they showed each other their bras.

Yeah, that happened.

Yeah. Yeah. But, you know, like, we all serve our purpose. And. And I'm of the belief that, like, we're far more effective when we focus on one thing. Right. If your one thing is helping fundraisers raise more money for their one thing, there's no one else really doing that. Right. There might not be enough of you doing that. Right. So you need to go and do that. Right. I'm trying to keep my focus on helping progressive candidates campaign and win. Right. Through social media. There aren't a lot of people who are doing that.

Yeah.

Right.

So going back to, I don't know, just the dance, being out on the dance floor, that metaphor, and knowing, like, this is not your one. Right. Like, this person you're dancing with. And yet there is another choice, which is like, just let that be a relief and enjoy the rest of the dance with that person. And I think that's what I haven't been doing. I've just been sort of going through the motions, waiting for. For the song to end, hoping some new song or new partner was gonna write. Trying to outsource something. Yeah. Something different, you know, but it wasn't exactly imposter syndrome. And, you know, I do plenty of pleaser coaching in my work already, and I don't know that I wanna have that be my headline. You know, that's exhausting and it's hard work. And I honestly think coaching is super helpful, but I don't think that's something you can change about yourself without some therapy or some psilocybin or going to Hoffman or like, I requires more structural change, then, you know, I can support people and I can challenge people. But I think if people really are looking to shed that identity, it probably is a more therapeutic setting than I can offer as a coach.

Right, right. You know.

You know, so. Okay. Not that. Not that. Not, you know.

Right. Well, and also, I mean, just throwing it out there. You know, my therapist who focuses on recovering from narcissistic abuse, she does a lot of coaching stuff with me.

Yeah.

You know, and so, I mean, you have that background, unfortunately, with narcissists. And I think there is a point in a lot of people's healing journey where, like, they've done enough healing and now they have to, like, rebuild who they are.

Yeah. And I mean, I'm sure this, you know, tons of my coaching clients are also in therapy or maybe they just are. Need a break from therapy and are looking for a different, you know, flavor of support. And so, yes, I do believe we. We work. We work together.

Right. But what I'm saying is, you know, there. There may be a niche in there, you know, because it does fold in with the pleaser and. And. And so much of it. The codependency, you know.

Yeah. Have you read Elizabeth Gilbert's new book? Or are you familiar with that at all? One which, you know, she's the one who wrote Eat, Pray, Love Back.

Oh, no, I know. So. Oh, I don't know what her book is.

Oh, it's called all the Way to the river and. Oh, no, it's like an updated memoir. And she's on a book tour right now. Like, she's all over, you know, doing a lot of interviews. And it was an Oprah book. And it's the story of she has come out and declared, you know, herself as a sex and love addict and sort of chronicles. I don't know if you remember if you followed her at all, but, like, in 2017 or 2018, she left the man that, you know, she met and.

Eat prayed love together with a woman, and then the woman died.

And so this is the story of. Yes, of that, like, period of time with Rhea as Rhea was dying of cancer, which, you know, and so this. That. So all the way to the river. Is that when Rhea Got diagnosed. She asked Elizabeth Gilbert, like, please stay with me and walk me all the way to the river, like through when I die. And so. But, you know, she. She describes like some pretty. And Rhea was an addict and her addiction completely comes back, like while she's dying of cancer and all the ways that Elizabeth Gilbert enables her and you know, the codependency and, you know, she's looking back on that now and, you know, has pretty extraordinary vulnerability and clarity.

Yeah.

About who she was and what she did. And I can't remember what we were talking about that had me bring up this book, but. Oh, well. Yeah. She doesn't talk. She. Very assiduously. I think that's the second time today I've used that word. But avoids talking about her family. And she's in it landed. Given my writing is a little righteous to me. Like, I don't know that your family deserves all the protection that you're giving them. But like, whatever.

She.

She just sort of, you know, has a very strong position against exposing people. Although she makes Raya look. She says with permission. I don't know. Ray is dead. Like, I can't say one way or the other, but. But there's a lot about codependency and she clearly comes from a dysfunctional family, although she doesn't name the parts and pieces of that. So that's where I was going. But it's a. It's a good read. Yeah. She does a lot of dancing at the beginning. It takes her a long time to get into the story and she keeps coming back to, like. Let me give you some more context. Like, it's obviously a hard book for her to write and so you got to stick with it. It's annoying at the beginning. Yeah.

Okay. I'll. I'll pick it up and I'll power through the beginning. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I want you to check in with your body again.

Yeah. I mean, still there, but it's a little gentler probably than it was. I might have toes again.

Good. You need them for balance.

I do. If we're walking, I hear they're essential. That.

Yeah, yeah.

A little better. I mean, I, you know, anxiety is a fascinating. It's a fascinating thing, all the different ways that it manifests. And when I feel this way, like when I wake up with a belly full of this, like, I. I feel a lot of gratitude like that this is not my everyday. And I know there are a lot of people who think, you know, who feel this way every minute and send love and support to Them. Because that would suck.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, what I see in the personal development world is a lot of personal development is honestly just like poetic gaslighting, you know, Like a lot of money mindset books are just like poetic privilege gaslighting, you know, and throughout all of this, what's happening for me is I'm seeing, oh, wow, this actually, like, it's helpful on us, helpful on a surface level, but it completely negates this other lived experience, you know? And I genuinely believe that in personal development, those who start acknowledging that, like, lived experience, like the dark underbelly, the things that like, like, yeah, this can be true, but it also, like, has to be able to empower these people up, if that makes sense. Like those.

Exactly, yeah. Sorry.

You know, it's like you can research the ocean, but based on just what you see from the surface. Right, right. And. And we see that with, like, there, you know, I. I won't name anyone because I don't want. If you like them, I don't want to tinge your. Your belief.

It's okay, you can name. Go ahead.

Mel Robbins, Jay Shetty. You know, like, they tend to be on this, like, surface level thing where they learn a little bit and then they're like, here's my. My battle cry. Right, Right. And here's just the advice. I'm going to throw at you and throw at you and throw at you and throw at you. And it makes people feel good because they're like, oh, my God, that sounds so simple. Now my life is fixed.

Right. Let go. Isn't that her thing?

Yeah, let them, let them. But she ripped off from, I think, an African American poet, which lovely. Love that for her. But there's. There's more to the story and there's more nuance, and there are people who, like, are genuinely, like, in abusive structures, and letting them does not serve them. Right, Right. What are we supposed to do right now in the United States? Just let them know. So I think where you're going personally.

It'S like being told to relax, just chill. Right?

Yeah. Just. Just be confident. Just, you know, count to five. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. And then get up and do the thing. No, if you have ADHD and dopamine deficit, you're gonna make it to two and a half.

You're not gonna make it to five.

Yeah. Or you're gonna get to five, but you just don't have enough dopamine to actually get yourself to stand up.

Interesting. Right?

Like, your brain literally just doesn't have it yeah, right. Yeah. But I don't know, like everything that you're going through right now, your clients are going through. Yeah. You know, and so for days when you want to put something out there, but you're feeling like this, honestly write about this feeling, you know, it'll help you and it'll help them process it as well. And you're such a beautiful writer. It's, you know, reading your stuff is. And I, I know I owe you a quote. I'm. But I'm working on it today.

But that would be delightful and you could cross it off your list. But again, like, for a while it seemed like a rush and now it doesn't seem like.

You'Re a beautiful writer. And reading your stuff will help people process their own emotions, their own sensations about this, you know, which, I mean, people will never remember what you say, but they will always remember how you made them feel.

Yeah.

And not, not that we want to be like, cool crisis, let's get vulnerable and then I can make some money off the crisis. It's not that you, but you, you will end up getting clients out of it.

I guarantee you that would feel so much better.

Yeah.

Than. You know what? I have really tried, but it's not, it's not my voice. I mean, I understand in a big cosmic way why my LinkedIn stuff doesn't. Hasn't really resonated because it's not me, it's me trying to squeeze into. That's not, I mean, that's more self deprecating than, I mean, like, I tried to adapt my writing to that medium and I didn't ever find a vibration or a way to do that that felt, you know, funny, resonant and had that very straight plot line. Because whether I have ADHD or not, I honestly can't say. I mean, up until pretty recently, I identified as a pretty neurotypical person. I'm less sure now. Certainly my writing is not linear at all. So that is a place where I thought, well, and then that's what feels expressive and real to me. And trying to do the like of LinkedIn has been like, you know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I mean, substack might be the better place for you.

Yeah. And I mean, I'm, I'm okay. Like once I get it down on paper and it's full and I'm watching the clock here and I do have a client, so I'm gonna hop off at 10 till and get myself organized, but. And then rewriting it to simplify it feels better.

Right.

You know, and knowing that, like, there's a full version and then, you know, then there's the excerpt.

Right. Put on LinkedIn now. I will also say LinkedIn lives. I don't know if that's something that you would want to do.

I just did one with my, like, business partner and we, we were talking more about PQ related stuff and the judge, but it was fun. I. I mean, he subscribed to Restream and we, I mean, it was the first time that we ever tried it and felt good. And then I posted about it and, you know, I don't have any idea how many people have watched it or not, but. Yeah, but you mean, like, solo?

Like, just say, hey, here's what I'm experiencing right now with everything going on. And then you can have those kind of, like, side quests. You can kind of talk through the idea.

Yeah. You know, talk to the camera.

And talk to the camera.

Yeah.

And then you, like, just remember to bring it back to your clients and you can say, you know, I'm going through this, but I hear my clients going through this every day.

Yeah.

You know, and you don't necessarily share the specifics of it, but you just say, you know, what if you're watching this and you're feeling the same way, I just want you to know you're not alone. Right. And one of the things that I'm doing with my clients is I'm supporting them so that they can still do X, Y and Z and process these feelings. Cool.

Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. I was like, I'm gonna log on and keep my camera off and just listen today. That was not what the universe had queued up for me and I.

Did you have other questions? I know we kind of just went deep into that.

Literally no other questions. I mean, I should have asked a question on Friday because I met with somebody on Monday who wanted me to help. It's actually kind of cool, like, be a strategist for them in their capital campaign and coach. I mean, it's when she first said capital campaign, because lots of times non profits are looking for a person to actually do the capital campaign because it's in addition to their normal fundraising. And I was like, that's not my thing, but let's talk and let's see. And you know, she's looking for a strategist to help and then somebody to coach the two or three people that will actually be out asking for money. That's awesome. So it is. It sounded great. So, you know, but then she did the thing of like, you know, so just give me a ballpark. Like, what would you charge? And that's always like, ah, fuck. You know.

Yeah. Honestly, for some, that could be an offer that you put together. That's like a coaching program.

Well, I did say. I was like, okay, if I'm, you know, working with three people twice a month, and then, you know, an hour a week of strategy, let's call it $3,000 a month, you know, which would be incredible income, like, just in addition to everything else. And she was like, okay, like, so I know I didn't lose her with that.

Right. But what I'm saying is, like, you don't necessarily have to even say it's a ballpark. You can say, no, I actually have a program that's designed for this. And you can say, you know, it. It's for up to four members. You could have it bracketed so, like, you know, 1 to 4, you could have, like, 5 to 10. And you can say, here's what it includes, and here's the investment.

Right. I just was. I hadn't pre. Pre. That's what I'm saying. I should have done this with you on Friday before my conversation, but I think I did okay. I didn't balk. I didn't balk too hard, and I stuck to, you know, pretty close to what I'm comfortable with for an hourly fee. And so. Yeah. Anyway. But I. That. That was. Should have been my question last week, but I didn't ask that one.

But, I mean, like, that's the need out there. And think if you had three more. If you. If you get this one and you get three more of those, like.

Right.

That's very solid income.

Pretty. Pretty done. Yeah. With other things. And.

And then it's just straightforward. This is what you do.

Right.

Right. And you're not, like, trying to figure out how you coach the whole board or how you get them to sign on for this one thing. It's like, no, we're creating the strategy. And then I'm, like, basically being their fundraising manager.

Yeah. And I will say, so just, you know, little nod back to you, which is that in the first email, she said, hey, my board needs fundraising training so we can do a capital campaign. Is that something you do? And I wrote back, because, you know, you and I have talked about this. Like, actually, I don't do that. You know, because here's why. And. And, you know, as much as I wish that I could, and certainly when I started as a consultant and I said yes to everything, I sure did try, you know, but I was like, I just don't. It takes me six months of working one on one with somebody to move the needle. And, you know, I can't promise to do that with a whole group of people. And she wrote back, like, thank you. Let's explore. You know, she's like, God, I totally hear you. And that makes so much sounds like, let's talk about something different. So it is amazing how much that kind of honest. Like, I don't do that. And here's why. Yeah. Really has been. Has certainly earned a lot more credibility and additional conversation with people.

Well, build so much trust, too, because they think they know what they need. But if you're like, no, no, you don't actually want that. You can spend a ton of money doing that. That's not what you want. Yeah, this is what I do. And here's why I don't do that. Like, oh, my God, you've just. You've solved half the problem for me at that point. Because now I understand that I'm, you know, that's not what I need. I need something different.

Right. And she said when she talked, she's like, my board thought that they needed fundraising training, but, like, I understand. Like, that's not now. That's not what we need right now.

Right.

So, yeah. All right. I'm gonna hop off and get my head together for my client. And thank you. My head's more together than it was when we started. And I appreciate you, Katie. Thank you.

I'm here anytime. All right, bye.