BYOB Beginner Group Session 2024 08 21

Hi, Monica.

Hello.

How's it going?

Good.

How are you?

Good. I wanted to, because I was getting a little confused in the, in all the questions. Was there another question that you posted somewhere about something besides how to introduce yourself to your friends person?

That, and then just the content that you already.

Okay, cool. Because yeah, I think between all the comments I was like, wait, is there one that I, I saw and then I'm not seeing again? No, I think that was. Okay, cool.

I think that was it.

Okay.

Awesome.

Awesome. All right.

Thank you for that.

Hello, everyone. Let's start off with celebrations while we await everyone else arriving who would like to start us off.

I sent that email to the internal audit contact person so we'll see if she, she responds with, you know, actually setting up a meeting.

Love it.

Yes.

Cool. In a couple days, if she hasn't set a meeting, I would just follow up and say, hey, just wanted to circle back and make sure like, you know, there was availability or check in to see if, if there wasn't a time that worked for you. I can open up more times. You know, something along the lines that was grammar, but you know what I mean.

Yep, exactly. Yeah. Thank you.

Awesome. All right, what else are we celebrating?

I set up.

Oh, you went quiet. We can't. We. I heard. We. I set up. And then you went silent.

Oh, sorry.

There you go.

I set up a partnership agreement with a local leadership company. They do leadership training and they do a bunch of coaching services for people that have been off boarded by their companies.

Awesome.

So she's going to put an email in my inbox when I get back from vacation with terms and what like the split on session payments are going to be and she's just going to start filtering the work that she doesn't want to do over to me and I'll be able to bill her.

Great. Fabulous. Well done.

Yeah.

Yeah. That's a great thing to come back from vacation for.

Yeah.

Yeah. Awesome. And Yvonne, what are you celebrating?

We had high school orientation yesterday, so I am celebrating that the kids are almost going back to school soon.

Okay, good. Yeah, it'll be nice to have the house to yourself during the day, won't it?

Yeah, I mean, actually my teenagers aren't so bad. It's my nine year old that is like, he's like the worst supervisor ever. Just in your face. What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? What are we doing? Right.

Okay, awesome. So you have your, your supervisor's going back to school. Congratulations. And Erica, welcome. We're Just we like, I like to start off with a celebration. Whatever it is that you've accomplished or if you have something like a win, we like to start off there. Yeah.

So sorry. One of the major wins I definitely had is getting a phone back. I actually got my phone stolen on Friday.

Oh, no.

It has been a journey getting an insurance phone. And then I was working on a music video on Monday, so getting a temp phone in the meantime, getting that all situated. And then it came my, my new phone that I'm on currently, it's now here, it's installed, my number is here. And now I just have to return this temp phone. If anyone wanted to ever know, you can technically buy a new Apple phone at the Apple Store and they have a 14 day return policy. So if there's any chance that you who are ever in a predicament like myself and you can't wait several days for your phone back, you can buy a new iPhone and then return it after your insurance phone comes in.

Ah.

Yeah. Okay.

Trick. I love that. Well, congratulations. I know that's super stressful, so I'm so sorry you had to deal with that.

No, it. Life throws you lemons, so, you know, you guys got to make the best out of this situation.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, it sounds like you made like meringue pie, so. Thank you. I wanted to start today off with a little challenge for you guys. Last week, Monica had asked, how do you introduce yourself to your potential clients so that they like, are interested in potentially signing up with you? And so this is, this is typically called like the elevator pitch, which I hate because it like gives this, this image of you being in an elevator and like trapping someone and then like trying to convince them to like, want to buy your shit. Right? We're not doing that. We're not doing that. Like, I want you to think about, like, this is a backyard barbecue intro, right? Backyard barbecue. You're standing around, maybe you have a beer in your hand. Like so and so has like a hamburger on their, on their paper plate. Kids are running around screaming and they ask you, what do you do? And so here's what I want you to take a moment to write down is I want you to write down, I help this kind of person with ABC kinds of problems and X, Y, Z kind of goals, right? I want you to. So I help this type of person with this kind of problems reach the goals. And I don't want you naming what it is that you do. You are banned from talking about coaching. You are banned from Talking about what it is that you do. Monica, Maria. I saw a question forming.

Well, because I had put together, you know, something for. For this, and I'm like. And I think I need to modify it a bit more. So I was just like, in my.

Head, like, yeah, well, and this is. This is the challenge. You're not always going to introduce yourself this way, but, like, let's. I want to get you guys into the practice of really talking about your ideal clients and not about yourself. Right. Because, like, when. When I say I'm a business coach. Business coach means so many different things and so many different people. They may not understand what it is that I actually do. So you just take a couple minutes and write that down. And we're going to workshop them for a few minutes, and then we'll get into open Q and A. And when you're done, just look up so I know we're mostly finished. Okay. A half a minute more.

By the looks on our faces, we're all angry about what we do.

No, I just can't, like, say what? Like, because you said, don't say what you do.

Yeah.

Yeah, you're. Yeah. Yvonne, there's a. There's a facilitation tip that I like to share with everyone is when you're running a zoom, most people don't realize that they have resting zoom face. And so when you're running, like, a group or you're during a webinar class like this, you know people, and you'll think, oh, my God, they hate me. Oh, my God. They. They're not happy with what I'm teaching them. They're like, un. Like unimpressed with the content, whatever. And it's literally just that they have resting zoom face.

You know, concentrating. Yeah, exactly.

Okay.

My daughter has a concentration face, which she sticks her tongue out. It's hilarious.

So when she'll be like, that's so cute. Awesome. Okay, well, I really wish one of you guys stuck your tongue out for your concentration base. That would make me giggle. Anyway, I just got spit on my face doing that. All right, who would like to go first?

Oh, sorry. Go ahead, Yvonne.

I help stressed out HR professionals recover from burnout so they can love their job and their life again.

Yeah.

Cool.

And who would like to go next? Jason?

I'll try. I help people in career transitions to get crystal clear on their ideal outcome, diagnose challenges in their job hunt and identify skill gaps and set powerful goals. My clients typically have goals to get their dream job, start a business or side hustle and increase our self confidence.

Okay. I. I want to point out you actually, instead of talking, saying the. The titles of what you do, you described what you do.

Okay.

Right. So my clients are struggling with jobs they hate. Yeah, right. Like what, why. Why is someone driven to hire you?

Yeah, right.

What is the thing that's happening for them? Like, we don't like what we do, actually. Doesn't matter if you're a magic belly dancer, but you can help me start a business dance. Come on, let's go. You know, I don't care. Like, your, Your clients genuinely don't care about the process because it doesn't mean anything to them.

Right. Okay.

They. They know the pain they're in, and they know what they imagine is going to be their happily ever after.

Okay.

And happily ever after oftentimes is different from what they actually get with us, especially in the coaching world. Right. But it's what they imagine right now.

Right.

Okay, So I want you to workshop that while we go. While we go through the rest.

Okay.

Who would like to go next?

Yes, I could go. I help creators and aspiring influencers authentically storytell and find connections to collaborate.

And so, same thing. Same thing. So what, what is it that they're struggling with right now?

Okay.

Right. Do they not have enough followers to get brand deals? Do they, you know, can they create for their clients but not for themselves? Right. Like, what is the struggle? Do they want to make money? Do they want to quit their job and be an influencer full time? Right, right.

Yes.

Yeah. And also, like, maybe there's some imposter syndrome going on. And of course, like, market research is going to help you. I know you're. You're just starting the journey. So you're going to, like, once you start doing market research, it's going to become a lot more clear. All right.

Yes.

All right, cool. And then, Monica, So I have two sentences, and I'm. I'm.

I don't know about the second sentence. Okay, so internal audit departments work with me because they struggle with spending too much time to complete an audit. They want to learn how to use data analytics to save time and also comply with a new global internal audit standards. So that's a double win.

Okay, cool. So, like, we want to simplify it and take it away from talking about data.

Yeah. That's why I was like, I don't know about that second.

So I. Yeah, so I help companies that have overworked and overwhelmed audit departments cut back on how many hours their auditors have to spend on. On Their audits. And we'll want to not use the word audit so many times, but for right now, we're just going to do it, save time, cut back on hours and help them limit how many mistakes they might make and limit risks and identify inefficiencies. Yeah, right. Because that's what matters. That's what, like, they're like, oh, you can do that. They don't care what, how you do it. Right. And of course, like, if they have those kinds of problems, if there are a lot of risks that they're missing, if, like, they realized if, you know, it's come out, that they were wasting how many millions of dollars on something that they were doing and they just found out about it three years after they started doing it. You know, how much would have helped to bring someone in, like, someone like you in two years ago? Right?

Yeah.

Yeah. Do you really want to talk about the impact?

I feel like I, I feel like talking about complying with the new standards would be kind of a selling point because.

Absolutely. A selling point. I just didn't say it.

I don't know how to, like, put it in.

Yeah, yeah. So, you know, you could say something like, a lot of companies have overworked audit departments, and as a result, like, they have a really hard time complying with new legal standards or legal requirements. They're missing a lot of the indicators of risk, which, I mean, we're seeing in all the companies that are getting hacked right now. Right. And then they're also, they have a lot of inefficiencies and they're wasting millions of dollars on things that actually aren't helping their bottom line. And so they bring me in to help them create systems that'll. That'll fix all that.

Okay.

Right. And remember, this is a conversational thing. Like, it's not like you're, you're guaranteeing on your website that you're going to go in and fix it. You're just having a conversation about why people bring you in.

Yeah.

Right. Yvonne, I've been playing yours out in my head a little bit more, and I want you to get more into the symptoms also of, like, like, what are the symptoms that they're struggling with that are signs of burnout. Right. Because you said this yourself, like, your clients are very hesitant to even admit that they're in burnout. Right?

Yeah.

And maybe this is a conversation for one on one at some point, but I've been thinking more about. Because I'm having issues with people just even admitting that they're in Burnout. Unless I have some people who are like, yep, that's me, like 100% in, but the rest are like. And I, I remember this of like, I'll just get through this if I just keep working harder. Right. Like, and they're still trying to get, you know, promoted. So I'm, I'm trying. I don't know. I don't know if there's a way for me to test if something grabs better.

Yeah, so there's absolutely ways for you to test. And it's just like changing your, your marketing for a little bit. And so I still want you posting like once a week about Burnout, but I want you to back out of it a little bit for, for a time and talk about the challenges of getting promoted when you're in hr and talk about the challenges of just working harder and working more hours and taking on more stuff and raising your hand. And talk about, like the, the negative impacts that has on your actual everyday life.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's funny. So when I had David Fryman go and do market research, because he's an attorney, he works with entrepreneurs, you know, he went out and was asking everyone, like, if you're an entrepreneur, I'd love to interview crickets. And the few people he got weren't his ideal clients. And he realized, like, very quickly that his ideal clients don't actually consider themselves entrepreneurs, even though they have multiple businesses, even though they're continuously buying new businesses, starting new businesses, starting new partnerships. Like, that is the definition of an entrepreneur. Someone who's continuously starting businesses, but they don't call themselves that. Right. So, like, a lot of the times, like, we have to really listen to what words resonate with our ideal clients, even if they're resonating with what we see as the wrong words. Nerds. Right. Because how we market what we do and like, what we actually do can be very different. You know, we don't. No one signs up to go to personal training because they really enjoy being in tight clothes and getting really sweaty around a bunch of other people that, like, look really fit and like, picking up heavy stuff and putting them back down. That's not the selling point. Right. The selling point is I want to look hot in a bikini or I have an event and I want my ex boyfriend, who I know is going to be at the event, to think, damn, she looks good. Right?

Yeah.

So, you know, it's, it's really, really normal because you are in what you do all day long and you see how special it is and you See how interesting it is to you? Right. There's a reason you became an expert, but your clients, they just have the problem. They're not actually interested in like the doing of the fixing. Sorry, Erica, what were you going to say?

No, I had a question. Especially when it comes with like the audience that I'm particularly focusing on right now. Just because, I mean like the collaboration and the lack of followers and people wanting to grow and create the content. I think as of lately when I'm talking about it, it's more about, I focus on. Oh like, you know, the growing part for anyone to like make an impact online, whether it's for their art, whether it's for themselves. It's. It's very lonely. It's a very like lonely journey in the very beginning. And so I think I was just trying to say like, oh, like, why is it that only after you make the success instead of like trying to build like your hub of circle in the beginning and if you guys have like that collaboration from the get go, it just makes it more simpler or easier.

Yeah.

So would that be something along the lines of what I would be saying to people?

Yeah, a hundred percent. Yeah. I mean, how hard is it to sit alone in a room and come up with like 17 creative ideas, you know, versus shooting the shit with a few girlfriends who are all kind of in the same or similar areas and saying, oh my God, I have this idea. And you just said that and I have this idea and you're just like over there writing down all the things. Right, Right. Yeah. So like it, it a makes, it saves them time because they're more efficient in their idea generating, they're more creative, they're more likely to be more competitive out there in the market for whatever it is that they're doing. Right. And they, they feel, feel less like they're going insane at the end of the day.

Right. As well as just like it requires so many of them to wear so many hats. And then if you just have somebody who has like, who is like a really great photographer and storyteller and you want to like, and you happen to bring in the brand, it's just like being able to merge that.

Yeah, yeah, Yep. Yeah, it's.

Yeah.

The thing that comes to mind, I can't remember which book it was in, but. Brene Brown, are you familiar? So she talks about how when she used to write books, she would like send her family away for a few weeks and she would like, basically like take out all the index cards that she had with all the notes. And she'd become, like, this psychopath in her home, and she'd, like, force herself to sit down and write. And it was, like, the most painful process, but she forced herself to do it because that's how you write a book. And then she was like, wait a minute. Why am I writing like this? I'm a storyteller. And so now what she does is her whole process is she books a trip to, like, Bermuda with some girlfriends who are there to, like, take notes and, like, gather information and help her organize stuff. And she just, like, talks with them for a few hours each day, and then they go to the pool, and then they go to dinner, and then they might go for a hike and they're doing fun stuff. And then she comes back and the next day they do the same thing. And she's writing books a lot faster. And it feels so much more fun. Right? There's that kind of element to it. Like, it becomes more fun. It becomes, like, less like. Like, like grinding the gears almost. Because here's the thing about a lot of creatives is they started off because they really enjoyed the creative process, but once it becomes work, they get burned out really fast. Right, right. And, like, don't want to do it anymore. Right.

100. And then for the micro influencers, right, they. One, one client I have in particular, she, like, has an image, but she wants to, like, change her image, but she doesn't know how to change her image. And. And it's. And she feels like, oh, because I've been just doing this the whole time and it's been kind of working, but it's not getting me, like, the bigger brands that I want to work with, but it's getting me, like, the smaller ones. And so it's just like, okay, like, how do we, like, have that conversation and, like, make her feel more encouraged that.

Right. There is a niche in itself.

That.

Right. There is a niche. Like, you could absolutely be the partner that comes in and helps you up, level your image so that you start attracting bigger deals, leveraging the audience you've already built. That's absolutely something. But again, like, market research is going to be really, really important here because there's. Especially for you, because there's so much you could do. It's going to start getting confusing to people unless you can hone in on, like, very specific problems that your ideal people, like, people that you'd really be excited to work with that they actually have. Right, Right.

Um, yeah. I mean, with all of that, I think the niche and Then the collaboration part is that definitely where I'm focusing to just get the creators who are photographers, videographers and all that stuff. And then the influencers who want to be in front of the camera, like have that storytelling collaboration instead of like having the influencer feel like they have to figure it out themselves. And then you have like the creators who also want to work with similar or like minded brands hands and it's just like, oh, why not like to kill two birds with one stone situation. Yeah.

So I mean for you, for you, like there's the possibility of a community and doing work, you know, almost like an internal marketplace where you help you facilitate those kinds of partnerships, you know, and also you create like almost like a creator circle where people get to like go and do like a creative hub once a week, you know, and, and just spitball ideas.

Yeah, yeah, okay.

There's so many ideas. But again, market research is going to help so much because right now, like it's so easy to come up with a gazillion ideas and think they're all great and then get overwhelmed and then not do any of them.

Right, right.

Because we've all been there. Yes, I know. Everyone's been there. Okay, cool. All right, good enough on this. Okay, so workshop it. And remember, like this is. We want to use the language that our clients are using to about their problems to like their spouse or their best friend after a really hard day or maybe like as they're at brunch with a few mimosas, like the, the unfiltered version, almost the like the little un hinged version of how they would talk about stuff. Deal. Okay. Want to take it to open Q and A. What questions do you have? How can I help you?

I guess in terms of the market research side, I'll look more into like the video tutorials that you have on our app. But what where is a strong suggestion that you have in terms of where I'm going? Because right now I have technically four clients right now. But Right. Since it is like research based and it is like testing the water situation, this is like where I'm at and I'm trying to like grow some questions with other people. But.

So who do you enjoy working with the most out of the four types of clients you have?

Definitely one photographer slash director and one aspiring influencer who's like more within fitness and lifestyle.

Okay, cool. So I would literally go on to the social media platforms that you're on and say, hey, I'm looking to interview this type of person. I'm designing a few different programs and. And you can just be super vague. I'm designing a few different programs to help them with specific problems. But I want to make sure I'm covering absolutely everything. All, all the scripts for this are also in. In the discovering your niche portion. And you'll just want to, like, take like, the, the language and do it in video form or in like a graphic form. But yeah, you're going to, you're going to just go and ask people and, you know, if you have any existing relationships with folks who are in that space, I would reach out to them directly, you know, and again, these templates are. And how to, how to verbalize that are in that portion.

Right. To what extent is, like, a good enough market research?

Like, I have so 50. Okay. Yep. Yeah. I might even push you to do a little bit more if you're doing the two different. But if there's crossover, it's not that big of a deal.

Okay.

Yeah. Because what we want to do is we want to find enough people that have the same problem that we're able to verify that that's actually something that people are struggling with. We also want to get enough so that you have a good chunk that you would never want to work with so you can identify what are the qualities that, that are miserable for you, you know, 100%. Yeah. So. And then all the questions are in there. Yeah. But, you know, I like, I know I was like, everyone on this call has gone through it. So does anyone want to share a word of wis wisdom for getting started.

Just on the market research in general or.

Yeah.

I mean, I think it's easiest to start with people you have good relationships with already because they don't expect you to be selling them something so you don't have to worry about, like, it's just a. Hey, I'm doing some research. Can we have a conversation? I've met people over coffee. Like, can we have a coffee chat while we're here? Can I ask you a few questions? People you. That are like, outside that circle, they're. They're a little bit harder because they're going to be a little bit more like, what are you trying to sell me? But I like something Jason said in the past. Something like, what did you say? Like, I pinky promise. Or like, I swear to God, this isn't. I'm not selling you something. Or I can't remember how you put it, but I thought it was funny.

I just stole it from Katie.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah. Anything else?

I would just say make it fun just because it is market research. So if you come at it like serious people will be like, oh, no, I need to answer correctly. But if you're like, okay, now these are really fun questions, so let's, let's dive into this part.

And yeah, so, yeah, I love that. The other thing I want to remind is you, remind you about is like, you want to tell them that there's no right answer. Right. Because oftentimes like that's, we go into every situation wanting to have the right answer. You know, we go into situations like this wanting to have the right question. You know, I bet you, you all have some questions that you're holding back that you're like, oh, well, I don't want people to know that I have a question about this. And that's not, you know, and it's such a human nature thing because we don't want to be rejected for anything. We don't want to be seen as stupid or not prepared or whatever. And like you get to go into and say, listen, there's no right answer. Whatever comes up for you with these questions is great. That's super helpful. Like, I want all the things that are coming through your mind. Don't worry about them being correct or impressive or whatever. They're. They're happening for you. Right. It's also why we want to keep the questions pretty vague so that people can't be like, oh, she's asking about my content, she's asking about this. Okay, so I have to really get into, you know, here are the impressive problems I think I should have. Right. Does that help? Okay, good. What other questions do we have?

I have one.

Yeah.

I'm starting to notice a bit of a trend with the market research that I am doing that the type of people that I've reached out to and I'm attracting so far are kind of people like me a little bit that have done well in their career, but they haven't broken through. Like, they're not VPs or executives. And so actually having the cash for a high ticket program I think is going to be challenging with the type of people that I'm getting. So I'm trying to figure out like, what sort of change or pivot I might need to make in order to attract the type of people that would likely pay for coaching versus the people that I am getting.

So. Okay, so I. There are two sides. Oh my gosh. What happened? Sorry. The cat and the dog are wrestling. Okay, so there are two sides. So a. I Want you all to be cautious of chasing the money, right? Because, like, the ideal clients that come to us who have actual problems will pay for those problems to be solved, right? Of course there's a limit. Like, there's. There's a. Like, I can't. I'm not going to charge you guys $100,000 for this program. You know, like, over. Over time, you guys could absolutely make $100,000, and I hope that you do. And it could be worth it for you to spend $100,000. But, like, if you're starting a business, you don't have that kind of cash, right? So there's a limit to how much you want to charge. But also know that if people have the pain there, they want the solution, right? And this isn't like a car payment that you're going to be paying for for 36 months or 72 months, right? Coaching or helping with any kind of transition. Like, this is meant to have, like, a shelf life. You know, you start and it helps you through this transition. It helps you get somewhere better. So, yes, we want to make sure that we're. We're marketing to people who can afford us. But let's not get hung up on, like, trying to nail it into the people that can do, like, this amount of money specifically, Right? Because we can make ourselves crazy that way. And also, let's not count the money that people have in their pockets before they tell us what they have. Right? We don't know, like, how good of a saver someone's been. We don't know if they've, like, maybe inherited some money. We don't know if, like, they have an aunt who cares so much about them who wants to fund this. Right? We cannot ever assume what people are making and their financial situation. When I worked in solar, there was this one day where I was doing a ride along with another, like, solar salesperson just to see how he did the process. And our first meeting of the day, I was like, oh, cool. This is going to be an easy sell, right? It was a mansion. The guy was a plastic surgeon. You know, his wife was, you know, dressed really well. I think it was all, like, designer brands. They had, like, beautiful custom furniture. They had, like, beautiful purebred dogs. Gorgeous home on, like, three acres in Northern California, right? We go in and, you know, like, they're like, yep, we want solar. Like, let's make it happen. We ran the credit check because they wanted to do a lease, and they didn't pass. They had no credit, they had no cash. Like, they had both declared bankruptcy separately in their life. Right. The next house we went to, it was like kind of a shitty house in the middle of the woods. Like beat down cards. You go in. The furniture was all from Costco. Four generations living in the same home. No judgment there. But typically when you're saying that like that's an indication for there's not a lot of money. This guy was worth $3 million. He had the highest credit score Joe, my, my coworker had ever seen. And they started talking stocks. And I think Joe still talks to him about like, what kind of stock decisions he's making. Right. We cannot assume. Right. So that all said, you know, people who are doing well in their career, like they are going to have some money. Right. And also part of working with you is, is hopefully to, to get a better job where they're happier, that potentially pays more money. And Even if it's $5,000 more per year, think about all the incremental raises that they'll get going forward. It's all going to be based on that. Right. I personally wouldn't be. I'm not worried about you getting clients who can afford you right now.

Okay.

If you were focusing on people who were just starting out, who had student loan debt, who you know, haven't been able to like do anything in their life yet, and they're barely making ends meet, then we'd be worried.

Okay.

Right. But if they're, I mean, you signed up for this program.

Yeah.

Right. There are absolutely clients out there who will sign up for your program, you know, and, and when, by the time we get to the point where we're realizing like what the cap is. Like maybe the cap is like $8,000 for a six month program. Maybe your clientele can't afford more than that, then we have to start looking at cool group program. Let's augment this. Let's figure out if there's a corporate offer that you could also do. Right.

Okay.

So it really. Yeah. And then of course, like, don't forget like who you work with is going to evolve over time. Right. As you grow with this, you're gonna like, your clients are gonna grow with this as well. Right. So you may end up working with VPs, you may end up working with directors. Deal?

Yep. Deal.

Okay, cool. What other questions do we have?

Just on this topic, I want to say that's one mistake I made with one of the. One of my favorite and first clients that I had because I knew her well, but I hadn't talked to her in about a year, I knew about how much she made, and so I felt good about what I was asking her for. But I didn't realize until after she signed up with me. In our conversations is not only did she get promoted, so now she was making a lot more money, but her husband had recently gone back to work, and she just casually mentioned. She's like, it's kind of shitty. He was a homemaker for five years, and he's making double what I make. And he's. You know. And so I'm like, well, shit, they're making more than twice what I. You know what? I remembered her. So I was like, I could have absolutely asked for more money and she would have paid it.

Yeah.

But I thought for sure. Like, I knew I was completely wrong.

Yeah. You know, like, I worked at Equinox in San Francisco, and there were people that walked in. I'm like, are they homeless? Like, they look really. And they were. They were billionaires. You know, they threw their. Their MX black. They bought, like, packages of personal training. They didn't give a. You know, and they barely used it. You know, they. They book their personal training sessions and. No. Show them.

Just.

It was nothing. Right. And they're wearing jeans from Costco. We just. We can't assume that is honestly such a mood. I know there was a meme that's like, my part of my spiritual awakening is starting to buy clothes from Costco. Oh, man. All right, what other questions do we have today?

I don't have any, but I might actually have to hop off soon because of a different meeting. But thank you so much.

Of course. Yeah. It was good to see you and any questions you have in order to find me.

Okay, sounds great. Thank you.

What else we got?

Last time we met, you were talking about some practices that you use in order to, like, cultivate the right mindset, different things like that.

Yes. And I started writing it up. I'm going to share it today.

Okay.

Yeah. Okay, cool. Yeah, it's. And it's funny, I've actually. Because last week I was in a seminar with Edward Hallowell, who's, like, one of the leading ADHD experts. Like, he was one of the first people to actually start writing books that are accessible to people that they understood. And it's fascinating because a lot of what he shared and I don't know. Did I talk about this on Friday in Brave Biz Labs? A little bit. Maybe I. Maybe I did, maybe maybe I didn't. It's fascinating. You know, the thing that. What was Was, oh, yeah. So when we're in executive dysfunction, when there's something, like, in our way and our brain is, like, going through, like, the downward spiral of, like, here's all the. That's going to go wrong. Especially if you have adhd, what's actually happening is your brain doesn't have enough stimulation. So when our brains don't have enough stimulation, our brains would literally prefer that we be in excruciating mental and emotional pain than to just be, like, bored and content. Contentment is boring. It just, like, it's not stimulating. You know, staring at the widow window and just thinking, oh, life is lovely, not interesting, right? And so really figuring out in that moment, like, what would be the next stimulating thing for you, it's not always something that's going to be productive, but it's going to get you out of that downward spiral of conversation, you know? So based on this, I'm actually going to be changing a little bit of the model of, of the manifestation practice that I described last time. Because, you know, like, examining the. The shame stuff is really important. And also there has to be some kind of transition out, right? There's also the new model that I'm playing with that I have found really helpful since I started doing it, which is, you know, how we all have this, like, image of our best self, you know? Tell me about your best self. Who wants to go? Do you want me to go first? My best self went to Harvard. Okay? She has, like, like a business degree. She has a home in Cambridge. She vacations in the south of France. Like, she has a really hot husband. She works out every single day. She reads a book a week. Not trashy fantasy smut, but, like, actually, like, you know, productive books, right? And she's really impressive. That's my best self. I'm not my best self, right? That is not motivating. That's actually shame inducing for me, right? Even just a little bit of. Because I'm never going to match up to that. Like, I don't want to go to Harvard. For some reason I have that in my head, that that's like, what the best version of me could do. And that's the standard, right? Instead, like, let's find the thing that's most inspiring for us. Who's our favorite self? Who is the person that when we get to be that person, we enjoy life so much, right? When I think of that, I think of, like, kind of like me as like a goblin witch in the woods with lots of books and plants, you know, who goes out for ice cream whenever she wants. You know, who has, like, dogs and chaos all around her, who spends a lot of time with friends and family, who gets, like, have funny conversations with people all the time. You know, whose life is not perfect, who wears, like, weird stuff sometimes, you know, what does she want to do right now? Oh, she really wants you to do X, Y, and Z. Like, life is so much more inspiring when you're that person. And also, we. We start attacking our to do list with, like, I want to do this versus I should do. Right, because the shoulds are shame inducing. Give me three things you feel you should be doing right now.

Well, I should be packing for the trip that I have coming up. I should be filling in, like, the spreadsheet that I made for all the market research so I don't lose track of everything that I've been doing. And I should be. Farther ahead figuring out what type of social media plan that I'm going to run in the September challenge that you are going to put out.

Okay, cool. Well, the social media plan you don't have to do. That's going to be done for you, essentially. Right. But you had no energy, as you said, any of that. Your monotone, your voice is low. Like, what do you want to do?

I mean, any day, what I want to do is go train jiu jitsu. Like, that's. That's what I want to do. I want to, like, go to a hot dog stand and, like, I don't want to go to a fancy. I want to get street meat and put mustard and relish on it and that be my supper when I'm traveling. Like, that's what I want to do. And I. I want. I don't know, Katie. Like, I just want to happen. I want it to be easy, and I don't want to feel like I'm pushing a rock uphill anymore. Like, that's what I want. I want just stuff to flow.

Yeah.

So stuff flows when you're working from your favorite self. Right. You know, the. The practice I'm, you know, I'm putting together, like, yes, that's great. But also, like, that's a practice that you don't need to necessarily should yourself about doing. Literally. Like, if you can. If you can sit down for 20 minutes a day and write down a description of who your favorite self is and, like, how much you enjoy the different aspects of them. And then, like, when you feel like you're stuck or when you feel like you're overwhelmed, just, like, tune in. Like, what does My favorite self want to do right now, right? Because, like, you can. You can become your favorite self at any moment during the day, right. It doesn't require a Harvard degree. It doesn't require a hot husband. If you already have one, Congratulations. It doesn't require any other circumstances to be true. If you want to go have some street meat, go have some street meat. That's what your favorite self wants. I love that term, street meat. I'm going to have to find a.

Part.

Part of my challenge in all this favorite self work that I think is going to come up is that for a very long time, I stopped dreaming. I. I did not have any dreams. It, like, life was about grinding, and then it was a different kind of grind. And so I woke up and I was like, 45 years old. And I realized, like, I didn't have any dreams anymore. Any wants, desires, or aspirations. I had relinquish all of those. So this is actually challenging, trying to figure out how to. How to do that.

That's what your clients are facing. That's exactly the pain that your clients are in right now. Yeah, right. Like, go on and talk about that and also like to go back to our conversation that tells me that your favorite self is seven years old right now and needs to enjoy life. Right? And that's okay. You know, it's not like you can do jiu jitsu for seven hours a day, right? It's not like you can go and eat street meat for, you know, like, 17 meals in one sitting. You know, like, you would. You would die. We don't want that. Right? Like, at some point you're going to be like, cool, that was enough jiu jitsu today, okay? Now I get to go and have my, like, maybe two servings of street meat. That was enough for today. What does my favorite self want to do now? I. I bet you. I bet you $5 that your favorite self wants to do something that has to do with your business. Like, your favorite self probably has, like, an idea for a post or for someone to call or just something that you can do that will move the needle forward in your dream. Like, there's an element here that's trust, Right? We get to trust that our favorite self actually has our best interests at heart. Right? I think that's kind of what gets trained out of us. We get. We get trained to follow, like, the best self. Like, here's what you should be doing, because that's, like, the right thing. It's going to lead you to a good, healthy, you know, Profitable life. And it doesn't. It actually leads us to like this really vicious cycle where we're just beating the crap out of ourselves all the time. And that's life. And we're just told like, this is life and you just have to suffer through until retirement. Like, what if you trust your favorite self to actually, like, want to do the things that will make you happy? Right? Your favorite self is not a glutton. Your favorite self is not someone who just wants to sit around all day. You wouldn't be in this program if it were, right? Your favorite self, like, wants to do something that excites, wants to help people. It wants to, like, see a return for its effort, right? And it sees that there's a better way of doing this than just grinding. You know, you, at your core, you're not a misbehaving 7 year old who can't be trusted to do its homework, right? But for some reason, that's kind of how we're raised. As I talk through this, what. What's coming up for you? All.

The thing that came up for me, I started writing on this a little bit of like my favorite self. And, you know, she's fun. She's fun and she's funny and she's not so serious. And I think it's making me realize, like, even in the post, actually a pretty funny person. It's one of, one of the reasons people love me as an HR leader is because I could take the most horrible situation and find some levity in it. Right? Not in a distasteful way, but like, okay, like, let's bring it back to survivable. And I feel like I've been super serious.

Yeah. Yeah.

Cool.

So your favorite self wants to bring more of that to your stuff.

Yeah.

Awesome.

Just more fun.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What else is coming up?

It.

I think I. I don't know how to do fun very well. And like, I'm going on this vacation and I think my favorite self needs to figure out, have how to have fun. Because even when I signed up for.

This program, does it need to want to? Because. Because I want to. I want to just like, call out. I don't know if this, I'm not saying that this is true, but there's sometimes like our shooting self comes in and like, well, there's a right way to have fun. Like, you're not doing fun, right? Like, if you're gonna have fun, like, you need to like, do it this way, right? And it's like, you know, for you, like, fun might Be just sitting in a cafe, people watching, you know, I wanna wander. You wanna wander? Cool.

I wanna wander. And like, do you know what I really, I really want? A bowl of goulash from a woman who doesn't speak English and has whisper, like, hairs on her chin and a wraparound her head. And that's. And I want, like, the guy next to me to speak, like, three words of English. And like, that's what I want. I want that.

Cool.

That would make me happy.

Cool. So that's your goal with this trip? That's your goal. You're going to wander and you're going to meet that, like, whiskered woman.

You're just going to wander into somebody's kitchen and they're just gonna be like, sure.

You're gonna wander and you're just gonna be like, I'm hungry. And some lady's gonna take pity on you and be like, come on in, I'll feed you.

See, I would love that.

Then she'll, like, give you bad directions back to your hotel. Yeah, yeah, Yeah. Monica, what's coming up for you?

I. I don't allow myself to be as silly as I am in private.

Yeah.

And I want to share the silliness, but don't know how because I feel like I'm in a world of seriousness and professionalism.

Yeah. I mean, the beautiful thing about that is that if you're in a world of seriousness and professionalism, like, how exciting are the other options besides you? They're serious and professional. They're all one tone. Right. If you, like, just share a bit of your personality and that spark, you know, it doesn't have to be over the top, but like, it makes you. It makes you the taller puppy. It makes you more noticeable. It makes you stick out. It makes, like, you the one that is going to be remembered, you know, versus every Tom, Dick and Harry, which, by the way, like, I don't know that many people named Tom, Dick or Harry now. And so that saying really bothers me.

I think also, like, I am over the top.

Yeah.

And so I struggle with, like, dialing it down.

Well, maybe that's the thing. Maybe you stop dialing down for a bit. Like, that's your experiment. You know, what is your favorite shelf? Your favorite shelf, Your favorite self. Want to. Want to share with the world today? You know, what's the conversation your favorite self wants to have? You know, So play with this. Have fun with it. Noticing the time. Want to do main takeaways and commitments. And then this is. Hold on, let Me? Just check the calendar. This is one of those. Oh, wait. Oh no. That only affects the Thursday call. Okay, nevermind. So we have. Yeah, so we're back on in two weeks. Okay, cool. Who would like to go first with your main takeaway?

Get in touch with favorite self.

I have two. One, I can test other things. So I'm going to test starting Monday because I already have everything pre scheduled for this week. And the second one is have fun with it because I just had the ideas. I'd rather fail having fun and fail being completely miserable the whole time. And who knows? Fun could actually be the way to be successful.

I. I know for a fact it is. It absolutely is. And who are you picking next?

Monica?

Same thing. Get in touch with my favorite self.

Figure out who that is and share it. Yeah. Are these your commitments also? Yeah.

Yeah.

Jason, I don't want you doing any work. I want you wandering, eating goulash. Yeah.

Speaking of fun, I finally decided on my costume for the costume party.

Oh, what are you going to wear?

What is.

So I was really overthinking it because my husband is going as Wolverine with like I love Jackman. And my husband is turning. I was like, oh, man, we're keeping this costume. But anyway, that's for another day. But I recently got a T shirt that says I choose the bear.

I love it.

And I have a bear costume, so that is what I'm wearing.

You're gonna be the bear wearing the I choose the bear T shirt. I love it. I love it.

It's gonna be hot though. But that's okay.

Yeah, just drink a lot of water. Awesome. Okay, you all know where to find me if you have questions. Remember, fourth Friday. There will be more people on the Friday call. Your questions will be prioritized, however. And I don't think I'm forgetting anything. So I will see on Friday and we do. Oh, that's right. And then because we didn't have our Monday sprint call on the second Monday, we're having it next week too. Okay, awesome. I'll see you all soon. Bye.