Growing your money

Hello, I'm Katie McManus, business strategist and leadership coach. I am so excited to be talking to you this evening. I know I say this every evening. Luna's really excited. She's got the squeaky snake. Because we're talking about money this evening. And I have a couple things that I want to talk about in this thing. I do want to acknowledge. Wet hair. Don't care. I'm in my pajamas. Visibility is the name of the game if you are growing your business. Visibility matters. And I just. I love coming on here, not well done up, like, in my pajamas, wet hair, having gotten out of my shower before bed. Because I want to show you you don't have to look perfect. Okay. I don't have my ring light on either, so, like, it's grainy. And this is fine. This is fine. Doesn't matter. Your audience is going to connect with what you say or they're going to hate it, and that's what matters. Anyway, so I want to talk about how to grow your money. Okay? Grow your money in your life. And this goes contrary to a lot of the advice out there. So if you read the post that I wrote around this, I. Sorry, Luna's upstairs in the squeaker. Anyway, I talked about how working harder is not the thing that's going to grow your money. Working longer hours and getting overtime is not the thing that's going to grow your money. Growing your money. There's so much false information here, and I believe that this is because we are very, very good at trying to figure out things to do to fix a situation rather than healing relationships that are flawed. And if you're struggling with your money, I guarantee you you have a shitty relationship with money. And that is the number one thing that you need to flip. Focus on fixing and healing before you can ever even dream of amassing great wealth or even some wealth, even just like, you know, a robust savings account and maybe an index fund. Okay, so I want to talk about this, and I want you to imagine that money is energy. Money is energy, okay? Just like love is energy, okay? It's out there in the world, and we either attract it or we push it away. And I want to talk really quickly about how we discuss money. So oftentimes, like, pretty much 99.7% of the conversations that I hear, people will say things like, I don't really care about money, or, you know, I'm not greedy, but I would like this, or I'd be fine. This is my favorite. This is my absolute favorite. So whenever I ask someone how much money they want to make in a year. This is usually a new client or someone I'm thinking about taking on as a client. I always ask this question, how much money do you want to make each year? And the first answer is always this. It's like, well, I'd be fine with like, like $50,000 a year. I'd be able to afford like an okay, like, kind of like moderately shitty place. I'd be able to buy my ramen. I'd probably still have to work part time at the grocery store, but like, whatever, you know, all these things would work out and it would be fine. And I'm like, no, no, no, that's not the answer I'm looking for. That's the. I don't care about money. Money doesn't matter to me. I rather do good things in the world than worry about money. Okay? I'm looking for the real answer. And when, when I say that, there's always this moment, this like, pause, this deep breath and almost this like, girding of the loins. Like, oh shit, she's going to make me say it. And that's when the real answer comes out. And it's so funny. Every single person I've asked this to who gives that first answer, their voice changes when they give the real answer. So it's kind of high pitched in the beginning. And then when they start talking about the amount of money that they want to make, their voice gets quieter, but it gets more resonant. Helen. Lolo. Lol. My business coach yelled at me for this. Yes, yes. We need more business coaches that yell at people for this. You have a good one, Helen. I'm so happy to hear that. And I realize I might be mispronouncing your name. Is it Helen or Helen with the. The ene. Kind of fancy. Just let me know in the comments because I hate mispronouncing names. Anyway, so I want to talk about what this communicates to money. And I'm going to use a metaphor for this. And I'm so bummed because I made tea before this, but it's too hot to drink and I'm kind of thirsty. Anyway, I want to talk about how this. Paul. What is the ideal number or what is the number they typically end up at? Paul. It is different for everyone. I have clients who are really happy with the idea of making $150,000 a year. Like that replaces their income from their job. Like they don't want to work too much. And that's really Great. I have other clients who want to be in the multiple seven figures. It just depends on what your ideal life is. And that's one of the things that working with a business coach and strategist can help you with, because there's no one number that's going to fit everyone because we all have a different idea of what our ideal life is and have our own ideal weeks. I personally love working, so I try to design my life so that I have like 35 hours of solid work in my week because I really enjoy it. Other people, you know, want 12 hours or, you know, 40 or whatever. And it also depends on, you know, how you want to structure your work. If you want to do simply one on one or group programs, if you want to have online courses, whatever. But it's across the board. But what a great question. Thank you, Paul. Okay, so I want to talk about this. Did you ever have a crush in high school? And that's a dumb question because we all had a crush in high school. I still remember my crush. I'm not going to name, say the name because I think we have people in common. So I don't want to be embarrassed. Oh, my God. I'm like turning red even just thinking about it. He asked me out once, but he was like, in a senior, and I was a freshman and I wasn't allowed to date seniors, and I completely panicked. I was not cool. I had no chill. So anyway. But we have these crushes in high school, right? And we watch them and not in like a. Maybe in a creepy way, but like, not really. We're just like. We have kind of this admiration of them and we want to be around them and we might. Might get like a little nervous and flustered when we are around them, but it's exciting and it lights us up, up, and we just want to be in their orbit. Now I want you to imagine if you were kind of walking behind them and they didn't know you were there and you heard them say, oh, well, I don't really care about Katie, or, you know, Katie really doesn't matter to me, or, you know, you know, I. I'm totally not that kind of person who would ever go for Katie. That would really hurt. It would really hurt. And. And the response would. Would be hurt. And I'm gonna go away now. I'm gonna go away now. I don't feel safe around you. I don't feel like this is ever going to be reciprocated. You know, I have to then, like, kind of close up My crush, put it away. And that person is no longer someone that I'm going to go towards. I'm no longer attracted to them. I'm no longer going to make an effort to enter their orbit and be in their world. So when we say this stuff about money, that's what we're doing to it. We're telling it, hey, I don't care about you. You don't matter to me. Actually, you know, like, I'm fine without you. Could you imagine if your best friend or your partner or your spouse or your children said that to you? Your parents said that to you, Someone who really loves you? Because this is the thing about money, is that it is just pure energy, is just like love. It is attracted. It is attracted to what is attracted to it. Okay? There's like this magnetism unless you break it, unless you reject it. And I see so many people out there who are working hard, they're killing themselves to build the life that they want, and yet they are shooting themselves in the foot by saying, you know what? I just. I don't care. I don't care about money. There are a couple different pathologies that happen when it comes to our relationship with money. I've put together a whole actually, actually, like, archetype list of different characteristics in ways that we are with money. For instance, if you are a blue collar bill, I made up some fun names. So if you're a blue collar bill, your belief is that money is transactional and it is tied to your hour. And that means, like, you have to bust your ass. You have to work hard for each and every dollar. And your motto is usually something like, well, money doesn't grow on trees. You got to struggle hard. Yeah. So imagine if your crush, like you have a crush on someone and they say, oh, well, you know, you're a lot of work. You're a lot of work to be around. You're actually too much effort for me to be around. And I'll work hard, but, like, I'm not gonna work that hard for you. Oh, that's gross. That's just gross. The other there's. On the flip, there is the social climber. The social climber archetype. Okay? And I've made these up. You're not going to find these anywhere. If you want this list, I'm happy to send it to you. There's a social climber, and the social climber will spend money that they don't have to seem like they can keep up with the Joneses and Langston. I want to get to that in a second. I just want to stay with this. This metaphor, and I'll get back to it. So. So they will spend money that they don't have, and every cent they do have to seem like they have it all to, like, hang out with friends who maybe have more money than them, to seem more impressive than they are. And imagine in this relationship, you know, having a crushed metaphor. Your crush, like, draws you in. It's like, oh, my God, you're so great. Thank you so much for hanging out with me, by the way. I'm gonna use you. I'm gonna use you to leverage myself up, and I'm not even gonna spend time with you. I'm just gonna throw you away. I'm gonna throw you away. I'm gonna use you and abuse you and throw you away and just so I can get with these other people who matter way more than I do and get these other things that make me look better. Okay, so. And if any of this is resonating with you, like, just take a deep breath. We all have something like this going on. There's also the DIY avocado toast. Okay, so this is the person who has hacked everything. Okay? So they have figured out, I love this. I'm gonna steal my best friend. When she was broke in her early 20s, she did this. And I love this example. She got a new apartment, didn't have enough money to buy paint, so she went to the actual dump, because you're not allowed to dispose of paint down the drains or anything. You have to actually, like, give it to a special department at the. The waste center. And she went through all this garbage paint, and that's what she used to paint her apartment. And granted for her, you know, she. She did need to penny pinch. But there are people who, even when they don't have to penny pinch, they are like, no, I'm not going to buy the cute bar cart. Going to build one, and it's going to be great, and it's going to be cheaper, and it ends up being about $20 more expensive. And seven hours of their time, not including the amount of time they had to spend on doing the research to figure out how they're going to build it and getting all the supplies for it. I don't have to go into that with you because you know, your time is valuable, and you know that that's just. I mean, unless it's something you really, really enjoy doing, if that is your hobby and your passion is building stuff, then it's not helpful. It's not saving money. And in all these situations, you're telling money that it is the least important thing to you, okay? There's this belief system also that money is evil. Like there's something bad about money. There's something bad about people who want money, okay? And I. I just want to bring this up. Money is just an amplifier, okay? Money is not good or evil or anything. It has no charge to it, okay? It is an amplifier of you. So whoever you are, you will become more of that person the more money you have, okay? So if you're a bad person, money's going to make you worse. If you're a kind and generous and grounded human being, money's just going to make you more of that, okay? Oh, Langston, how do you. Okay, so I'm actually not talking about economics here. I'm talking about the mindset and kind of the metaphysical thing. But that's a great conversation to have with an economist. So great question, but I'm not talking about that here. So anyway, so if you're noticing that this is something that you do, I want you to do this one thing right now and for the rest of your life, cut the fuck out, okay? Just stop doing it, okay? It doesn't serve you. It doesn't make you look cool. It doesn't make you look like a good person, maybe to other people who also have bad relationships with money, but it doesn't do anything for who you actually are. If you're a good person, you're going to continue to be a good person. I think Luna's ripping something up upstairs. I'm a little concerned, but I don't think I have anything valuable, that valuable upstairs. So we're just going to continue on anyway. And we have. I want you to start noticing that the things that we have in the world that tell us that wanting money, having a lot of money is bad. Bad. Okay, so like Scrooge McDuck, okay? It's. It's given to us super early, by the way. Okay? Super early. Okay, so like Mr. Crab from God, she's really ripping something up up there. I better hurry. Okay, so Mr. Crab from Spongebob is seen as kind of like a money grubbing pick. Like, he's not like a great person. He only does the right thing when there's social pressure around him, okay? Otherwise he's only in it for the money. Okay? If that's not who you are, that's not how money is going to show up for you, okay? That's not how you being rich is going to work out. All right, Scrooge McDuck. Another dick about money. Okay, so it's all around us. They're in every single. Oh, my gosh, let's talk about Hallmark videos. The rich boyfriend is always the jerk, right? There's something bad about him. Understood, Langston? Understood. Money, like fire, is a wonderful servant, but terrible master. Actually, I don't believe that. I don't believe it's a servant or a master. It's. It's neither. So, yeah, if it's just energy. Energy can't be a servant or a master. It's just energy. That's it. It's just a charge in the world. It's just there for us to reach out and grab. Or not. Yeah. So anyway, Langston, interesting conversation, though. But anyway, so I want you to stop this whole paradigm that you have around money. I want you to stop trying to seem like you're a certain way with it, whether it's good or bad or anywhere in between. And if you want to delve deeper into this, I want you to reach out to me, okay? Because your relationship with money, there. There's no way to have a happy and fulfilled life if you don't have a healthy relationship with money. I know it's a big statement, but there's absolutely no way to have a happy and fulfilled life if you're constantly striving for something you feel like you're never gonna get or trying to make yourself seem like you're not a bad person for having what you have. Okay, there's just no way. Anyway, with that note, I am going to leave you with it. There's some amazing money books out there as well. Lynn. Twist the Soul of Money, Get Rich. Lucky, Lucky by Denise Dunfield Thomas. Amazing, amazing literature out there. If you want to work on your relationship with money. And like I said, I want you to reach out to me, okay? Because I have some resources for you. Anyway, I'm Katie McManus, business strategist and leadership coach. I'm gonna go check and see what my puppies is drawing upstairs because I can hear something ripping. And I will keep you, you know, updated on that. So, anyway, have a great night, everyone. Bye.