Perfectionism

Good morning. I'm Katie McManus, business strategist and leadership coach. Happy, happy Monday. I'm actually on vacation, but I really, really wanted to go live this week while I'm on vacation. A. Because I am compulsive or not compulsive. What is it? So I don't know how to explain this. I have three non negotiables every day. One is tend to my body, one is to tend to my mind, and one is to create visibility for my business. And it's so funny, once you start this kind of commitment in your life, it's very hard to walk away from a portion of it. It just feels like these are the three non negotiables every day, because they are. And here I am. So I want to talk today about perfectionism and how it gets away in the way of your business and how so many of us. I'm telling on us. Okay, fellow perfectionists or recovering perfectionists, here we go. How we commit to it to prevent success in our businesses. This is all kinds of fucked up. Let's just acknowledge that, okay? Perfect, like perfect is not a thing. There's no such thing as perfect. Okay? Speak to any of the most beautiful supermodels, actresses, the most handsome actors, models. They are going to tell you all the things that are wrong with them. They're not going to say, oh, yeah, I have the perfect washboard abs or I have the perfect face or, look at this hair, it's amazing. No, they're going to tell you all the things they don't like about themselves, okay? So for us mere mortals, just know that. So while we hold ourselves back for a plethora of different reasons, there are people out there who are what we think are perfect on the outside, and yet they don't see it themselves, okay? So if we are waiting to be perfect, it's just not going to happen. Perfectionism, as I see it in your business, is a form of procrastination, okay? Because ultimately it comes from this fear that we're going to put ourselves out there and be rejected. We're going to put ourselves out there, we're going to say the wrong thing, there's going to be backlash. We're going to put ourselves out there, and no one is going to become our customer. No one is going to resonate with what we have to say. They're going to think we're dumb. They're going to think, who the hell are they to think they can get up on the stage and speak about this thing? They're not an expert enough. And so instead of actually facing that fear and quitting being a weenie and being brave and going for it, we hold off until things are perfect. We hold off until we have that next certification. We hold off until we have the right body, the right experience. We practice more before we go and do the thing. The only thing that this does is it puts us off from starting our business and it delays us being of service to the people who matter most, who are our clients, who desperately need us. That's one of the reasons that they become our clients. This happened for me last year. I was in a program called Produce you with my mentor, Rick Tamlin. Excuse me, the dogs. See, we're just going with it this morning. See, this is like my bed head. I just rolled out of bed. I put on a bathing suit and a beach cover up, so I'm on vacation. We are far from perfect right now. We have guests in the house, so we may get interrupted, but I'm just going with it because I'd rather be visible for my business and get this message across, then hold off until conditions are perfect. By the way, it's also going to be bloody hot today and I really wanted to do it before I was just like dripping in sweat because that's what we're going to be working with and. Hi everyone who's watching, welcome. I'm doing this through Streamyard, so if you're on Facebook, LinkedIn, YouTube and you're commenting, sometimes I don't see all the comments just because the technology doesn't work perfectly. Hi, Tanya. Great to see you. So anyway, so, okay. Thank you, Ivy. Ivy just told me she's six. She just told me that the umbrella outside just fell down again. It's windy. Anyway, so perfectionism waiting to be perfect, waiting for all these factors to be perfect is just a way of putting it off so that we don't have to put on our big person pants and actually go and do the thing. Okay, it's bs. Now, there are a few ways in which we do this. The way I see perfectionism in a preventative of your business starting kind of way is there's internal perfectionism and there's external perfectionism. Internal perfectionism is I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough. I haven't learned enough. I don't have enough certifications. I'm not thin enough. This is the example that I wrote in the post last year. Oh yeah, sorry, I was on a tangent before everything blew up over here last year I was in this amazing program called Produce you. And part of it was we had to have pictures taken. And I can't tell you how much I delayed to get these pictures taken, because I was like, oh, no, I've gained some weight. And who didn't gain weight in the pandemic? I mean, come on. Like, this is not, like, an abnormal thing. Hi, Bhakti. Welcome. Oh, thank you. You like my bedhead? I'll take that compliment. Thank you very much. So who didn't gain weight during the pandemic? Okay, we were at. There's a comedian who said it perfectly. Like, who would have thought that, you know, being mostly at home, not moving and having only access to grocery stores would result in us gaining weight? You know, weird. But, you know, I'm used to being fairly thin, and there's a whole idea of having professional pictures taken while I was a little overweight. Just felt like, oh, no, I don't want people to see me that way. You know, I had this fear that people would see me and they'd be like, oh, well, nope, can't go to her. She's not professional enough. She's not thin enough. And it really took me debunking that on myself. There are weird things that we hold ourselves to these standards, especially with internal perfectionism that we've made an excellent case for. We have the case, like, lined out. It's highlighted. It has all the color coded tabs for why we shouldn't go do the thing until we check these boxes, until we are this thing. And here's the thing that we need to all remember, is that no one wants to work with someone who's absolutely perfect. We absolutely don't want to work with people who are absolutely perfect. Because if you're perfect, that just highlights everything that is wrong with me. Okay. I want to work with the fitness coach who is challenged by their weight, you know, early on in life or, you know, maybe just a couple years ago, because they will understand what it's like to be a little overweight and trying to get those last few pounds off. Okay, Yeah. I mean, I could go down the list of examples, but I know you know this. I know you know, of all the different people, all the different services that we hire people for, where we actually don't want them to be perfect in all the ways. Okay. It would make us uncomfortable and it actually kill the trust that we have with them. What we connect with in other people is their imperfections. Oh, you're screwed up just the way I am. Oh, you're a little heavy. Oh, you didn't finish college. Oh, you didn't do this, but you still went out and did the thing. I can resonate with that bravery. And most people can resonate with that bravery. So if you're. I want. If you're watching this, I want you to stop and think, what is something that you are waiting to be? Something that you're waiting to be before you go and do the brave thing, before you go and do that thing that really matters to you? Are you waiting to have that next certification? Are you waiting to be thin enough? Are you waiting to have the perfect relationship? Okay. Are you waiting for all those things to fall into place with who you are? Hi, dad, we're on vacation here. Before you go and do the thing. Wow. It's got, like, a little stage anxiety with my dad in the room. That's so funny. Yeah, it's so funny how. And notice the stuff in yourself as you're building your business. Like what conditions change, how you're confident. You know, does it change when you're just talking at a camera or when someone else is in the room? Side tangent there. But anyway, so that's the internal perfectionism that we hold ourselves to. It is, how am I being? Who am I? What ways can I fix or change myself before I go out and do the thing? Now there's also external perfectionism, which is I don't have the right assets out there in the world to go and do the thing. So it could be, oh, I'm going to use dating here. Because dating is, like, such a great example for a lot of this stuff, because it does take bravery to go out and ask us, hey, dad, are you looking for something? No, I'm looking for something. Okay. Can it wait a moment, just five minutes and I'll be done. See, external perfectionism, things need to happen to a timeline. Very specific. I'm living it right now. I love my dad. He's amazing. And he also has timelines that he likes to look like. But anyway, what was I saying? So external factors. Oh, so for dating. So one of the things that we can sometimes hold ourselves to is like, oh, I don't have the right clothes to go on a date. I have to go buy new clothes. I don't have the right apartment. People are going to judge me if they know that I have roommates, or I live in this apartment without a dishwasher, or I live in an apartment that's in kind of a bad part of town. Whatever. I don't drive the Right car? I don't have the right job. I don't have the right title. Hi, Ivy. I'm talking about perfectionism. This is just the day you want to say hi. Who are you talking to? It doesn't look like anyone I know. Well, you can't see them because they're watching on their little tablets and on their computers. I'm basically doing a little TV show right now. You're on tv? You want to say hi? Hi. I never get to be on tv. Well, yeah, there you are. But I'm gonna finish this and then we're gonna go to the beach, okay? Okay, Ivy. So can you give me five minutes? Yes. Okay. This is the day of interruptions. So anyway, these external factors that we wait to have in line, I see this in business. Like, if you don't have a nice enough looking apartment to take pictures of behind the scenes to create visibility for your business. Oh, my God. Could you imagine? You're trying to start a business and you're holding yourself to this expectation that you have to have really fancy furniture and a beautiful decor before you take pictures of behind the scenes of your messy workspace. Why do we do this to ourselves? We do it just because we're afraid that we're gonna go into this thing and it's not gonna work out. Okay? We can't do this anymore. There's. Because here's the thing about perfectionism, is that the bar always moves. Okay? The bar always moves further. This happens in job promotions. There's a job promotion that you want. You want to go and apply for it. So. But you hold yourself back because maybe you don't have two of the five qualifications. Maybe you haven't worked with the company for as long as they say, but you are the perfect candidate for it. Maybe you've never been a leader. Maybe you've never stepped into a leadership role. You've never led other humans, and you forget that that's a learnable skill. There's a reason why there are leadership coaches out there to train people on this. There are classes. There are leadership classes out there that train you on how to do this. Hi, Karen. Welcome. Thanks for joining. Welcome to the mad town. We're just. We have people trying to plug things in and children and dogs, and we're talking about perfectionism. This happens in assets for your business. I don't want to launch a program because my website's not done yet, because I haven't optimized my LinkedIn page, because I haven't figured out Instagram yet. And people are going to think I'm a fraud if I don't have those things. Yeah, if you go into it with that energy of, like, you're going to think I'm a fraud. Yeah, probably. People are going to start thinking you're a fraud just because you're the one communicating it. You know, having the most perfect lead magnet. People hold themselves to that standard. Shreyas, this is really deep topic to discuss about. Yes. Oh, my gosh. Perfectionism is one of the things that we hold ourselves back for all the time. Even if you're not a perfectionist, even if, like, you're okay, like, you're one of those people, I don't know these people. One of those people who, like, can get it done and be perfectly happy with it, we still hold ourselves to some kind of internal perfectionism. So anyway, done over perfect is the new mantra. Done over perfect. Is it done? Awesome. Good enough. Great. Ship it, Send it out. There it is. Done. Don't wait for things to be perfect. If you speak to any artist, any painter, any potter, any fashion designer, ask them the point where they are happy with their artwork. Ask them when that final brushstroke happened that made that painting perfectly done. It is incredibly rare that they have an answer, because for them, this piece of art, like, it's just good enough as the artist, they look at it, it's good enough. Like, people can see it now. I'm like, I can let people see it without wanting to vomit. And as entrepreneurs, we have to be okay with that as well. We have to be okay with the copy on our website. Ship it. There are typos. You'll find out about it later. All the things done over perfect, I don't want you holding yourself up anymore because you're waiting for things to be perfect they never will be. Okay, if you're a relationship coach and you're waiting for your relationship to be perfect, honey, I'm sorry, that's just never going to happen. Okay, if you're a life coach and you're waiting for your life to be perfect. Perfect. You're waiting for it to be perfectly set up and perfectly handled and all the things, it's never going to happen. And like I said, if. If it were, if you did have the perfect life, you would actually have no credibility with your ideal clients. Normally, when I'm in my office that has no air conditioning, so I'm not there, I point to my bookshelf because it's just. It's pull. It's full of personal Development books. And let me tell you something about personal development books. 97% of them, the introductory chapter or the first chapter, the one that builds credibility with the reader. Why should I Trust this author 97% of the time? It's about how that author fucked up their life beyond repair, did something, burned things down, screwed up massively, and then came back from it. Not perfectly, but they recovered. That is what builds credibility and trust with our audience. We don't have to be perfect, okay? We can have awkward social engagements with family members on camera, and that's totally okay because that is completely relatable to the people in our. In our key core audience that we want to speak to. It happens across the board. So if you're holding yourself back because you're waiting for your life or your assets or the conditions of your world to be perfect, if you're waiting for the economy to be great before you start a business, you're waiting for this. There's no perfect time. Absolutely no perfect time. And you're never going to hit that marker. It is just a trick that you're pulling on yourself to delay starting this. So stop delaying. Stop waiting for this to be perfect and go and do it already. That is my message for the day. We're getting invaded again. Anyway, that is all I have to say for today before things start blowing up again. Wish me luck. I'm going to the beach. I hope not to get too burned, but you will see me tomorrow. Because like I said, this is almost compulsion for me. That's the word that I was looking for earlier. To go live or to create some kind of visibility for my business. To. To have some message out there. So, yeah, you'll see if I'm a lobster tomorrow or not. But anyway, thank you for joining today. And if there is a way that you're waiting for yourself to be perfect, I would love for you to message it to me. You don't have to put it post. Post it publicly, but I do want you to send it to me. Because if you can out yourself in that little tiny way, I'm waiting to be thin enough. I'm waiting to have this quality at work so I can get that promotion. I'm waiting to get a better apartment before I launch my business from home. Bust yourself on it right now. And the first step is to admit that's the thing that you're holding yourself up to. Okay? Anyway, Shreyas, have a great week. Katie, thank you, Shreyas, you as well. And also, I hope you're getting to enjoy yourself. It's summer. It's beautiful out. I hope you're getting to get out in nature, spend time with friends and family if you have some time off and travel a bit and see some. Some of the world, because we've been locked in for way too long. Anyway, love you all have a great, great week. And I will be talking to you tomorrow and every day this week. Okay? Bye.