Playing Small 1/5 (Money edition)

Hello, everyone. I'm Katie McManus, business strategist and leadership coach. I haven't gone live in over a week. I feel like I miss you all. So, a little housekeeping. So, as you know, I go live through Streamyard, which I highly recommend if you've been approved for live on LinkedIn or you want to just go live in multiple different places, Facebook, YouTube, highly recommend it. It's very easy to use. The only snafu that I noticed is that sometimes not all the comments come through from all the places. So if you're here and you're watching and you want to comment or you have a question, you have something to add, I love for this to be interactive. That said, sometimes I don't see the comments because streamyard kind of fails me. So if you comment and I don't call you out, just know that it is not you. I'm not mad at you unless you say something wildly inappropriate and I'm ignoring it. But you guys are amazing. I don't think you'd do that. So if I don't call you out, just know it's not you. It's just sometimes the technology is not working for us. Anyway, that's. That's the housekeeping bit. I wanted to talk to you this week specifically about one of my least favorite games that I see other people playing. I see myself playing from time to time. And I think it is honestly the thing that robs us of the most joy, and that's the game of playing small. Hi, Gabriel. Welcome. Hello. So the game of playing small feels really safe. Okay. It feels really, really safe. It's secure. Like, we're very familiar with it. It's in our comfort zone. You know, we may. We may not get everything we want, but we get our base needs met, generally. You know, like, we may have a roof over our head, but it may be leaking. When you play small, there's a lot of stuff that goes on. There are a lot of ways to play small. I'm going to be talking about the other ways for the rest of the week. Tonight, though, I want to talk about money. Okay. And money is one of those topics that makes everyone kind of cringe. Like, I don't really want to go there. Like, maybe you have anxiety when you get your credit card statements in or when you have to go and check your credit card bank account to see how much money's left in there after all of your spending. I know. I've been there. I've been there, and it's crappy, but if you keep playing small with your money, which I guarantee 99.9% of you are, that is never going to change. When you step into a bigger game with money, that's when shit changes. And I just want to share a little bit about my story because, you know, it's one of those things, like, I've been through hell and back with money, and I want you to know, and I'm going to be talking about this later this week, that the things that make you broken or not right, or, you know, are embarrassing or shameful for you are actually the things. And if you've healed from them, that's. That's a very important part. If you've healed from them, they're actually the things that make you the most resourceful, you know, the most credible in that field. Case in point, I usually have a bookshelf to my right, but, you know, it's not air conditioned in that office. It's really hot right now. But case in point, you know, any personal or professional development book, the, the introduction or the first chapter is always meant to build credibility. And what is it usually about? It's usually about, well, here's how I fucked up my life. Here's how I crashed and burned everything. Here's how I was a giant idiot and made everything go to hell in a handbasket. Okay, so what you screwed up in the past is actually something that builds your story, makes you far more credible to today. So don't feel any shame when it comes to money. My personal story here is I used to be awful with money. I was. I used to be so bad with money. And it took things getting worse and worse and worse. I would just. You know, I had settled for jobs that paid enough, they paid the bills, and I'd always find ways to make purchases that I wanted, even if it meant using credit cards and not treating those credit cards like I was buying the money, treating them like, oh, I just get to borrow this money and pay back as I want. It's not how it works, people. Anyway, it basically resulted in me narrowly avoiding having to declare bankruptcy. Okay, this is several years ago. Thank God I was able to swallow my pride and figure out some other ways that I could, that I could avoid doing this. And it was a really shameful period of my life. I remember after I realized just how deep in the hole I was and after figuring out a way to kind of get out, to scrape through and just get out, I remember calling my parents and I remember like, this frog just, like landed in my throat. And you know that feeling when like, you're about to cry and like you need to tell a really hard truth and you're so worried that the person that you love on the other end of the line is going to be so disappointed in you. And God, I'm just getting teared up just thinking about it. Telling my mom and my dad what I had done with my finances. And their response was, well, how can we help? How can we help? This isn't that scary. And I told them how much I owed and they were like, well, we can't quite help with that, but we're here for you, we support you, anything you need. But it was a result of playing small with money. And so I want to talk about playing small with money and some things that people do when, especially when they are playing small with money in their business. If you're trying to start a business and you have a small money mindset, it's gonna screw you over and you're not gonna get off the ground and you're actually gonna rob the world of all of your impact. So here are some things that I want to dive into with you this evening. First and foremost, one of the questions that I ask my, my new clients or prospective clients is, how much money do you want to make from your business? And I can tell you I get two answers every frickin time I ask this question. And so I just. In your mind, I want, I'm asking you, as you're watching this, how much money do you want to make from your business? I'm going to pause here because I want you to really think about it. Now I'm betting 65% of you, if not more, started thinking, well, I really want this, but here's what I really need to get by. So the first number I always get when I ask that question in a session or in a new client call or just in a should we work together? Call is, well, I'd be fine on like $56,000. I could pay my rent and the electricity and I could probably like steal my neighbor's WI Fi and I, you know, I could afford food and I could probably find some cheap insurance that way. And I'll give it my car. I don't need my car. You know, it's like the bare minimum that someone needs, okay? And it usually floats somewhere above the poverty level for their, their geographic location. Not okay. That is not what we're aiming for here, people. Okay? That is the playing small answer. And what I generally tell people is, well, screw that. I'm not interested in that number. And actually building a business to make that much money in the United States is a really, really hard. Okay. And I'm going to get into that in a second. But then I ask, what is the number that you actually want to make that will support your ideal lifestyle? And whenever someone answers this question to me, it's like their voice gets quiet. It's like it's so precious of an idea or it's like a secret, shameful. They don't want anyone to overhear them, like, oh, well, I'd really love to make $150,000. And that's not, I mean, it's a lot of money to a lot of people. I understand that. But in the greater scheme of things, it's really not that much. It is, it is enough to live a really wealthy lifestyle, to have freedom and flexibility and to have impact and to also have a really kick ass life. Okay. And it's easier to build towards that. So, so if you are hearing this, if you're, if you're hearing me ask this question and you played that game in your mind, you went for the small answer first and no, fully knowing what the bigger answer is, you need to cut that out. Okay? First and foremost, you have to complete, completely wipe that way of thinking from your mind. Okay? It's not easy, it's simple, it's not easy. But give yourself full permission to want that bigger number. There's nothing wrong with it. Okay? There's nothing wrong with wanting more. You know, I was going to do this. I have a little, little list of all the things I wanted to go through and I'm actually going to change up the order because we have this mentality, because I left this for the end and I want to talk about it now. We have this mentality in our world where if you're going to help people, if you're going to be of service, if you're going to use your gifts to pay it forward in the world, that you also kind of have to be poor. Okay. I don't know if this comes from this model of being a nun or a monk or a priest or whatever where you have to give up all your worldly possessions to be of service. Or if it comes from like the nurse and teacher model, that's another one that's very present day where selflessness is the badge of honor that is worn on lieu of clothes that they can buy from a new store, not a secondhand store. Oh, hi. Martin Carr, welcome. Yeah, we play this game With. With nurses and teachers. We just were just like, oh, well, you know, you have to be selfless and you have to give all of yourself into this, and you have to buy all of your own equipment and stuff, and we're not going to pay you that much, you know, but it's the honor of the job that matters. And the honor, don't get me wrong, it is great. There are teachers out there who go above and beyond for their students. I'm not. I'm not downplaying that at all. I'm saying we need to pay them more and they need to start asking for more. Okay? That's another way in which we play our smaller game, and it really screws us over, not just individually, but as a society, because we can't keep good teachers right now, okay? So we have this mentality that, like, having lots of money makes us evil. Like, if we want to be a good person in the world, we have to not have that much money. And it's like this Scrooge McDuck mentality that, like, if we all amass a ton of money, that we're going to be like that, doing the backstroke through all of our piles of money, and we're not going to be giving it away, and we're going to be very stingy with it. But here's the truth I want you to know is that money just makes you more of who you are already. And I will say that again. Money makes you more of who you are already. See? Same thing, different emphasis on different syllables. So if you are an inherently good person who gives an F about the world, money is just going to make you more of that, okay? If you are inherently selfish person who only cares about themselves and a select small group of people, then guess what? Money is going to make you more of that. You know, I know countless people, if they were in Jeff Bezos's position, they would be doing a lot different things with their. With that, you know, whole mass of billions of dollars, okay? Money makes you more of who you are. So if you're a good person and you're worried about being evil, I guarantee you, you cannot be evil. If you tried, okay? Money will come to you if you ask for it. You can do so much good in the world. Okay? So let's talk about what this costs you. Not just you, but your clients in the world when you don't ask for more money. Okay? So for you, let's talk about money. Money is not just a number in a digital bank account out there, okay? It means real life things for us. It means food, it means shelter, it means clothing on our backs. But it also means freedom. Freedom to do what we want. It also means flexibility, the ability to do what we want when we want it. Okay? Think about a life without any freedom. Think about a life without any flexibility. There are a lot of humans out there living without those two things right now because they are just jumping from circumstance to circumstance and trying to figure out how they can make the puzzle pieces work without that much money or resources. And that is not what we're here for, okay? Life is so much bigger. Life is meant to be lived at a greater level than that. And if you're spending so much time playing the smaller game and getting so wrapped up in it, you're robbing yourself of this experience, I'm not a religious person. I think this is our one chance we've got. And you may have a different opinion here, but still, like, don't you want to enjoy this life as it is right now? All it takes is asking more what it robs your clients of. Let me tell you this. So if you are a service provider, if you're a consultant or a coach, and you work with individuals or companies, so you have a whole well of knowledge, okay, you are an expert in your field, you have a perspective that could help people so incredibly, they are not going to believe you. That you can help them with their problem, that you can change their life, that you can change their business. If you don't charge enough, okay? If you're not charging enough, they're going to think you're selling snake oil. Sorry, not. I'm not interested in snake oil. I'd rather spend more money somewhere else. And I can tell you this for a fact, some of my clients have given me this feedback. They decided to work with me over another business coach because I charged more and they wanted to be able to charge as much as I do, okay? It also. It invites your clients to be in a bigger game with you, okay? It invites them to step up to have some skin in the game, to actually do the work to get the most out of working with you, okay? Who here has had clients who weren't fully invested in doing the work? It's natural. It's natural. So if you've had that, don't feel bad about it. It's just natural. A way to fix is charge more money. It also robs the world of your gifts. Because if you can't make a decent living consistently from this business because your clients don't Believe that you can help them so they're not actually buying from you, even at your super cheap rates. The world is going to miss out on all the gifts that you have. Not just through your work, but if you're a good person who's making lots of money. The world is going to miss out on you going out to dinner at local restaurants in your town. The world is going to miss out on all the donations you can make to organizations that matter to you. The world is going to miss out on countless other ways that you could have power and influence to make the world a better place with that money. Okay, so you're not just selfishly keeping yourself small or not just keeping yourself small selflessly. It's actually a very selfish act, okay? You're robbing this of a bunch of other people, thousands, millions. Are you okay with that? I don't think you're okay with that, and I hope you're not. And if you are okay with that, then you need to log off now. Okay? You need to log off now. I'm not speaking to you. You're obviously one of those people who doesn't give a damn about the world. And I'm not making you a bad person for doing this. This is what we've all been taught to do, okay? We've all been taught to go for security over the bigger dream, okay? Because we've been sold this bill of goods that the smaller game that we live. Oh, hi, Alan. Nice to see you. The smaller game that we live makes, like, is more secure, has more security. Like, there's not a chance of you, like, being, like, cast out into the wilderness and starving, you know, and if you have children, they're there as well. And everyone's looking at you with, like, you know, know, hungry eyes. But here's the thing. It's not real, okay? It's not real. Case in point, my whole story of nearly having to declare bankruptcy, okay? I was playing the secure game my entire life, okay? I was skating by settling for jobs that paid enough to pay the bills that didn't lighten me up. The money that I made from it, even if it was a lot like my very first sales job I made that year, I made like 11. I'm sorry, $111,000. That was the most money I'd ever made in my life. By the previous year, I think I'd made $30,000. It just didn't seem real to me. So I didn't know what to do with it. I spent it on stupid stuff like workout Clothes. I worked for a gym, so it made sense. But you have more security when you have more money. Okay? And, and I'm going to pause there because I know, I say sometimes that your, your level of security is not tied to how much money you have in the bank account. It is tied, however, to your ability to generate wealth. Okay? Your creativity, they are irreparably interwoven. Okay? Your ability to be creative and generate wealth generates wealth and security. It's all parts of the same plate. Okay? So you think that you're playing it safe. You're actually not. You're living the most risky lifestyle if you're not going for your dreams and if you're not charging enough for it. Okay? And. Hi, David. I realized, I put your comment up and then I didn't say hi. The other thing is that if you have a service based business and you're working with clients and you're not charging enough, you're like, oh, I'm giving a deal. Like, I'm going to get really good clients, really appreciate me because I'm giving them such a good deal. Well, guess what? You're gonna attract freebie chasers and people who are like, bargain hunting, okay? Those do not make the best clients. I would dare to say they make really bad clients, okay? Because they're not really invested in doing the work. They're invested in getting the best deal. And you have just made yourself Kmart. Congratulations. And let me see, I've already covered not evil. This is what happens when I change the order of things. I lose track. Here's the other thing is you are robbed. You're robbed of your bigger impact. You are absolutely robbed of your bigger impact when you don't charge what you're worth. When you say, okay, cool, I'm going to settle for this little amount and I'm going to hope and pray that people will say yes to it. That's another thing, is you think that more people are going to say yes to a lower number. It's not true. More people say yes to a higher number than they do a lower number. Especially if you're offering transformational services. But you're robbed of your bigger impact. You are absolutely robbed of your bigger impact. And what this looks like is you just don't have a lot of things to be proud of. You don't get incredible, you know, feedback of what your impact was because, you know, you're just not generating like that much stuff in the world. You know, people aren't saying, oh, thank you so much for this Big donation. This is one of the things that I was so I didn't realize how much it meant to me when I donated a ton of money for my birthday to Planned Parenthood and NAACP to get those emails back from them thanking me for my contribution and then asking me, like, how I could. How they could work with me to generate more money. Wow. It's like they saw me as this bigger figure. Like, there's a sense of pride. Like, my shoulders go down and back just thinking about it now. I want you to just imagine what it would be like to think of a cause that matters to you and to be able to write check for a lot of money and to have someone who's on the fundraising committee there reach out to you personally and say, thank you. Can we get some more? Because we see you as a bigger player. I have to tell you, there's nothing like it. There's absolutely nothing like it. And on top of that, being able to design the life that you want because you're generating enough money from your business, you know, you can live wherever you want. You can do any activities that you want. You can eat at any restaurant. You know, material things aren't everything, but we only get this one life, so why not, why not enjoy it with whatever makes us happy? I'm going to be talking about the smaller game that we tie ourselves into for the rest of this week. There are a bunch of different ways. There's playing it small by not being seen. Is playing it small by. By not going after what we love. Yada, yada, yada. We're going to go into all of it. So you're going to tune in if you want to. And today, if you're struggling to charge more money, if you're struggling to figure out how much you should charge for your service, if you're struggling to figure out how the math even works. I actually have a PDF download in the text of this post. So you're going to go and download that and you're going to message me and you're going to tell me what you need to charge each client monthly to make that work. Because it is possible for you. Just listen to me right here. It is possible for you to offer your gift to the world and make a decent living from it. Okay? I firmly believe that every human on earth deserves to do what they love and make a decent living from it, including you. Anyway, I'm Katie McManus. I have to tell you, every time I go live after, like, a week away, I end up like a little shy in the beginning because I'm like, oh, my God, this is new. But it's not new. I've been going live so much. You're going to be seeing me also go live with Mega Bradley at some point this week. Normally we do Mondays, but she has her last week of vacation with her boys, and so we're going to move that to a different day this week. But anyway, I hope this is helpful. If called you out, I actually would love to hear about it. So send me a DM and just tell me how you. You got called out. And I hope I was gentle on you, but not too gentle, because I want you to snap out of it. And there's no more playing small. Now there's no more playing small. This is the thing about truth, is that it shines a light in dark corners that we'd rather not look in. But once you see that shit in that corner, you have to do something with it, okay? You have to clean it up. Okay? There's no more playing small. Deep breath. Anyway, I'm Katie McManus, business strategist and leadership coach. I look forward to speaking to you, with you, at you four more times this week about this concept of the ways we play small. And I hope you'll be on the journey with me. Anyway, have a great evening, everyone. I'll talk to you soon. Bye.