The Art of Showing Up!

The recording. Hi, everyone. I'm Katie McManus, Business Strategist, Leadership coach. I am so thrilled today to be on here with my. My former coach, my mentor, and my friend Rick Tamlin, everybody. Thank you for joining us. I, you know, we were playing around with what we wanted to talk about today, and last night I decided, you know, showing up was one of the big lessons you taught me in our work together. And the world has shifted since I put together the. The preamble for this. This talk about showing up. And really, the world has some things going on, and there's always this anxiety that happens around the idea of showing up in these moments. And, you know, let's just start there.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, first of all, you just took a big, deep breath, and I think. Can you hear me okay, by the way, I realize I'm talking a little.

No, I can hear you. Great.

Can hear it. Okay. You know, with. Where the world is, this is, you know, Thursday, February 24th, the morning of. Or midday, wherever you are in the world. You know, the world has changed in 20, 24 hours. Not going to get political at all, but none of us wants to be in this energy that we're in right now, this situation. Who wants to sign up for this? And then, you know, activates the leadership conversation. What do we do? What. How do you do it? How do you fix it? How do you solve it? Where does it end? You know, and I just got off the phone with a dear friend of mine in Washington, D.C. and, you know, the energy there is just electric with. Not good electric, like lightning bolts of what to do. And, oh, my God. And. But to your point, Katie, you know, we can't stop doing the thing we do. We. This other person and I were also chatting around the. The fear that was coming at her from clients. And, you know, people were saying we should get all our money out of the atm. And some. Somebody else was like, I'm gonna go to Costco and buy everything I need for a month. And she was like, okay, everybody take a breath, right? You know, the world isn't falling apart. And so to your point, like, we got to stay in the game, be aware of what's happening, include it, name it, give prayers to it, whatever our. Whatever our form of impact that we can bring to this. But it's so unnerving to be out of control with this. That's the unnerving part, right?

Yeah.

What do I do?

Yeah, I, you know, yes to everything you just said, and I think it's surprising to New business owners, specifically when the. Starts hitting the fan in some shape or form. Pandemics, you know, George, Floyd.

Right.

You know, Ukraine.

Yeah.

And all of a sudden their clients are looking to them for some kind of guidance on this stuff.

Right.

Oh, like, what is the world going to look like? And it's not a position that any of us, when we started a business, thought that we were in the position for.

Right.

And yet we do. Like, once you do step into thought leadership, once you do step into guiding other humans through whatever, whatever part of their journey it is that you guide them on, you do become, you know, a leader of energy.

Yeah.

A leader of, like, here's how we're going to hold ourselves through this. And it's a responsibility that we all need to be ready for because we all have leadership in us.

Yeah. Yeah. I was just reading what James says.

Oh, I'm not seeing any of the comments. Oh, here we go. Gap. James.

I love lightning. My son has a limited edition blu Ray. Lightning McQueen.

I don't know what that means. I think, I think it's Lightning McQueen. I think it's a Pixar movie.

Oh, got it.

I think, I'm not sure. I'm not, I'm not up to, up to speed on that.

But to your point, I'll just, you know, blend with it. The. I think the big question inside major things like this is what's my job inside this? I can't. I mean, I what, you know, I can control my thoughts inside this. I can help my. To your point, help my clients remain calm or be creative inside this. And that's, you know, that's leadership. Right. And we want to remember that I, and I remind myself of all this all the time. What's my part in this now?

Right.

You know, and that's a question to sort of. It's a really heady question, like, what is my part in this? Rather than I just watch this. You know, I woke up to the news and I watched 10 minutes of okay, got it, turned it off. Then I went for a walk. Then I did my version of what it means to be a prayer in a prayer, a bigger prayer for the world during my coffee. You know, that's, that's the, that's the leadership conversation then. And you and I are now having a conversation about it. I have coaching calls today. People are going to bring it in to your point, inside, whatever they do, it's going to be in the space.

Yeah.

And they're going to need. And we're all going to need sort of. Sort of perspective on it. That's the other thing, is the perspective that we bring to this.

Yeah, yeah. It's. Well, anytime that there's fear in the environment, you know, in your small little world or in. On the global stage, you know, everyone's instinct is just to, like, stop. Come to a halting stop. Don't do anything, like, shut everything down. We gotta, like, just stay tuned into what the danger is.

Right.

And for those of us who run businesses, you know, it's important to. To recognize that tendency and to pause.

Yeah.

Take in some information and. And pivot your plans that you can keep showing up in the world and. But be sensitive to what's going on.

Yeah.

And maybe what is going on and. And direct other people to alleviate some stress in the world.

Yeah, yeah. And to your. Like, maybe it's a pivot and maybe it's not right. Really. Pragmatically. You know, I went to my local Starbucks, and this is so granular, but I had this moment of, like, you know, I have. I have enough points to get a free coffee, you know, and I had the economy, you know, the markets are crashing and, you know, everything in the world, like, you know, oh, money. Right. And I thought, oh, I'll do the free cup because I don't know if I can afford. You know, I went, oh, my God. And then I thought, no, stay. Like, buy the cup of coffee. There are people over there who are making the coffee. For me, the economy, like, you know, the wheels of economy and the wheels of work were still happening.

Yep.

And my job was to get on, to stay inside that. I know it sounds so weird, but it's. To your point. I could feel that. Don't leave the house. Don't buy the coffee, you know, because in the shrinking. It stops. The whole thing stops.

Yeah.

And then we're feeding the fear, if you will. The fear sort of wins. Now, I mean no disrespect, there are people right now. Let's just name it. There are people right now in the country of Ukraine who are running for their lives, getting in cars, waiting in line to get gas so they can drive to Poland. I mean, let's be real. That's, you know, telling them to not be scared is like. No, it's terrifying what's happening. Right.

Yeah.

Yeah, Jason, stop, assess. And then progress. Well said, Jason.

Right, yes. Yeah, yeah. You know, I wrote today that everything that we're feeling for the people of Ukraine right now, the anger that we have towards Russia, the, like, the empathy for the fear that, like, putting ourselves in that, in those shoes. I mean, all it is, essentially, is love. You know, we're all just feeling an immense amount of love for these people that we've never met in our lives.

Right.

We may not even understand. We have. We don't have the same language. And yet love is the underlying current that I'm feeling today.

That's beautifully said. I, like, thank you for bringing that word into it. I was like, oh, right, this is because I care.

Yeah.

Right. And I want our world. You know, I get to sound a little cliche. Ish. But I truly want. How does 6 billion people figure out how to do this thing together? And, you know, I am not a philosopher, but I get to philosophize. You know, the world has been trying to do this since the beginning of time, and I'd like to think that there's progress. Using your word, Jason. And then sometimes I have moments of like, man, we haven't progressed at all. We just have more technology. So there's sort of the shadow side of this and the dark side and the worry side, and, you know, and to your point of the love or the. You want to. I need to be careful. If I start to. This term that's out there. What is it called? Toxic positivity.

Yeah.

Where I just give it. Oh, no, it. You know, it's. I just put a positive spin on this or something, and it's like, ooh, no, there's no, there's nothing. You know, this is not good.

No, no, no, no, no. It runs over.

Yeah.

I mean, the basic truth of grief, of sadness, of danger, you know, those all need to be experienced and acknowledged in these kinds of moments.

Yeah. Yeah. James, you just said harmony day for the world is going to take time. I know, right. I'm with you, James. And I. I guess in my. In my heart of hearts or my egotistical self or my narcissistic self says, I want that during my lifetime. And, you know, I. I. Right. You know, so fascinating lessons of leadership. Not to go down that route, but it's. Right. How do you. What does it mean to have an opinion, show up? I mean, Putin is showing up. He's deciding this is what matters to him. I know. I mean, it's, It's. It's all under the leadership umbrella.

Yeah.

You know, I'm always a fan of adding the language with harm to none. You know, with harm to none. Leadership for the sake of something. And then with harm to none is always my added phrase. So you Know, we got some harm happening.

Yeah.

So I hope you're all hearing, by the way, I'm not blessing this thing. Like, this is supposed to be happening. Like.

No, no.

Well.

And I think it's. He's showing up, and we all get to show up in our own ways. You know, we have. We have politicians call. We have, you know, voices to voice on social media. We have things to talk about with our people. Yeah. And. And, you know, if we're able and willing to also contribute to helping those affected by it. Yeah, yeah.

Jason just said something pretty cool. I don't necessarily think the world will harmonize. There you are. It will be a matter of every person finding harmony at an individual level. Yeah. I thank you, Jason, for that. I keep waiting for the world. And you're right. There's a cool theory out there. And, Jason, you probably know it since the way you're speaking here, you know, world peace is an inside job. Until I'm at peace with myself, the world will not be at peace with itself, you know, Meaning I'm warring with myself. I'm voting at myself, I'm shaming myself. I'm worried myself. And until that sort of really happens in here, it won't be reflected out there.

Right.

You know, so.

Yeah. So I want to. I want to ask you, you know, how are you going to be? How do you show up through crises in the world?

Well, I'll tell the. I'll tell the real. I mean, it sounds obvious. I'll tell you the real answer. It's a process for me. I let myself hit the fan of, oh, my God, it's all going to hell in a handbasket. Like, this last night started. This thing started to unfold in the news. And I live in California, so it was hitting us before we went to bed, you know, and then I go, oh, my God. And there is this it's over kind of energy. I let myself sort of go there. I know it's not real, but it's kind of bottoming out, like. Right. And then I, you know, the humanity of that moment. And of course, I don't necessarily talk about it with the world. I just, you know, I tell it what. Tell it to my partner or I get scared and I go for a walk and. And then this is the woo. Maybe this is the woo, woo part. But then I talk to my mom and dad, who are past on the other side. I talk to them, you know. Right.

I fully believe in that. I fully believe in that.

You know, I'm like, what do you got from the other side, dad? You know, what do you think? You know? And I'll get a little download or who knows if it's from him or not. But it's, it calms me down to know there's something outside of self.

Yeah.

The paternal energy and the maternal energy that lives in all of us. So I talked to my mom and dad and then I ask myself, what's my job in this and what is my role? And how can. I mean, you and I had this on the calendar and I thought, oh, well, there's a call tomorrow. Oh, well, we're going to talk about this. So there's a showing up. Yeah, here we are. So all of a sudden I had a job to do. I'm not going to get on this call and tell you all my darkest fears and oh my God, it's over and start to be that voice. So there's this progression of sort of down and then leadership. I have, I have something to say about this. Or hold people in their fear with it. A client calls today again and be in the conversation. And no, that's a long answer. But yeah, I think it's, you know, and I think it's also remind people, stay in the game. Don't stop. You know, because to your point, fight or flight. Right. Fear creates fight or flight in the brain. You know, flight, I'm out. You know, fight. I'm gonna, you know, get rid of it or stop. Right.

Or freeze. Freeze is another one.

That's the term I forgot. That's.

Yeah. No, no, no, no, it's a new one. They just keep adding F's to it.

Well, it's either you're F'd or freeze. Fight or play. I don't mean to make fun. That is not.

No, no. But I mean, I mean we do have to, you know, continue to live and continue to.

Right. Enjoy life.

If we're not laughing, what are we doing?

Yeah.

You know, and it's not done out of what is in insensitivity for what's happening, obviously.

Right, right. The part. One more thing that my, my friends offered me this morning, which I thought was interesting. And again, if you're listening, this is a viewpoint. I'm not sure I hold it fully. It was offered to me. See if it's true for you or you have alignment with it as you hear it, you know, maybe this will activate and align the United States together. Because I think across the political spectrum, I think most people would say Russia, Putin, not so good.

Right. Yeah.

You know, Pandemic. We had all kinds of different opinions. Black lives matters. We are like, we, we didn't really come together on these other topics. Big topics. Which is fine. We all get to have our opinions. But we all know we're sort of in this divided energy of our country. And maybe this will, you know, this, this was her. She goes, I have one. You know, this is my optimism, self speaking, you know, inside all the negativity that she first shared for the first 10 minutes. You know, this is my optimistic moment. Maybe we'll come together, I thought. Right, maybe we will. Whatever that means. Exactly.

But yeah, yeah, no, I, you know, I want to talk about how. Or just give a nod to the fact how showing up can simply be like, hey, are you guys freaking out? Because I'm freaking out too.

Yeah. Yeah.

You know, and here's how I process through freaking out and here's how I kind of make sense of it and sort it. Like that's a beautiful way to show up and, and stay in the game.

Yeah.

Of your business and of building visibility for yourself while also being respectful of what is going on in the world.

Yeah.

It doesn't have to someone's problems. It doesn't have to like offer a solution. It can just say, hey, I bought them out. Freak out for a little bit. And then I look to see what my work is.

Right, right. I mean James said when you, when you bottom out, when you hit rock bottom, I'm the only way is up, you know. Yeah. And you know, this is kind of the global version. I know for me personally I've had personal things like this, like cancer hit my family. You know, we have these, we have these disruptive moments. Personally, I could. They're going to go into my clients lives, but there's a couple that are like personal.

No, my life.

Right. Yeah. I mean, I know you're like, you know, there's. And you know, so we, we have, we have relationship with these disruptive destruction. Yeah. Things and we get through those or we don't. But mostly we do. So, you know, on a micro level we've. We know how to dance with. We know how is the wrong word. We have resiliency with this stuff.

Right. Yeah, we figure it out.

Yeah, we figured out right there.

You know, there's. I want to point to the, the difference between reacting to something and responding to something.

Yeah. Yeah.

You know, because when something scary in the world happens, our first instinct is react, freak out. You know, hoard toilet paper, empty the. Hm. Whatever. The response is very different. A response has that moment of pause, like, you know, as to Jason's point, you know, reassess, right. And then you get back to work. But you respond in a thoughtful way for you and for the world.

Yeah. Well, and to know. And this has taken me years. My God bless. It takes years to understand this, to know that I'm in a reactive state. Like the ability to have the observer self go, I'm freaking out. The. The chemicals in my brain right now are, you know, now it's chemical. I am now finally have learned this is not psychological, this is chemical. And that's a great. I remember I'm having a chemical reaction, right? And I don't know the names of the chemicals, but I pretend I do. Like, this one is, you know, this one is being released. This one is being released. This one's being released. Run for the hills.

Don't you wish we could install, like, little, like, instead of carbon monoxide detectors for our home? Don't you wish you could just, like, install one, like, right here that just starts beeping when we have too much adrenaline and cortisol in our system?

No, I think that's a brilliant idea to know, right? Like, oh, this is why I'm freaking out. Right, right. That's what's happening. You know, go have a tea. Oh, okay.

Right, right. Because it's so hard to catch yourself when you're just in your own brain and in it and, you know, you're just living your life. But if you just had that, like, external reminder, like, oh, that's right. I'm. I'm having this reaction, and that's sending me down this spiral pause. Do some deep breathing, you know, go for a walk. Connect with nature. Maybe have a hug with someone.

Right? Get on a call with a client and get out of my stuff. That's the one that saves me the most, is when I have a job to do over there and I'm looking at the camera, like, as soon as I'm committed to something outside of my own stuff, right. I feel better. Right? Yeah. Jason. And you guys are having great comments here.

I know, right?

Yeah. Yeah.

So this is in response to what you were saying about how this may bring us all together. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The other thing I was thinking is, as we were thinking about this call, actually, it was on a walk last night. I tend to. I was on a jog, actually. Walk in the morning, jog at night. Nobody cares. It's boring information. Anyway, jogging last night, it hit me, related to business. This is a weird connection But I just go with me for a second. I. I linked success with, you know, as an entrepreneur or a small business owner, which you and I are. You know, the drift and the distractions are so easy. Yeah. Right. And I also love the distinction between a disruption and a distraction.

Yeah.

Disruption is, you know, disruption in my life is. It's sort of the big thing that does pull me off of the dime, you know, like getting sick. I'm in bed for four days. Great. That's a disruption.

Yeah.

Distraction. Oh, you know, I'd rather just go get a coffee. Oh, I'm going to go watch the news, you know, and the volume of distraction.

Yeah. Or I have a new idea for something I can do in my business, you know. Oh, shiny object syndrome. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But where I went with this was to. To religions for a second. Now, I'm not proselytizing any religion, but I think religions are super smart At a business model, a structure called one day a week, where its job is to realign you to what you believe.

Yeah.

You know, on Sunday, this is in our culture, not every culture, but, you know, interestingly enough, generally not all people do this, but this sort of Sunday phenomenon called alignment day to what I believe.

Right.

And I was thinking about my business. Like, that's what coaches do. That's what I need. Like, what's my. Where are my hours in my week where I'm like, alignment back to my belief. Alignment back to. Instead of sort of judging myself that I'm sort of all over the place. I have this structure in my week. I just literally went to Thursday mornings from 9 to 11 realignment to what my work is. Anyway. It's just the weirdest connection, by the way, because their business model, they're really meaning religious religions, if you will, in general, super smart business model. You know, I forget what I'm all about by Saturday, I'm kind of a mess. Sunday. Oh, oh, right. This is my faith.

Yes.

I mean, it's because humans are just distracting. We're just distracting machines, you know, so it just sort of gave me permission to realize, oh, instead of shaming myself that I'm such a. I'm so distracted. It's like, oh, no. That's what we do.

Rick, you've inspired my day just with that one sentence. It's so true. I mean, oh, my God. I need to start incorporating a day of, like, realigning myself to what I believe now, you know, but this is a version of showing up, and it's not showing up visibly. It's showing up for yourself and showing up for your business.

Yeah.

You can't. You can't have a successful business that stays along with what you care about. If you're not showing up to recognize.

I'm on the right path or realigning, what is the path I'm on? What do I believe again, what. What am I committed to here?

Yeah.

Yeah. Because I know. I know you're all going to get this. Left to my own device, I'm a mess. You know, I get. I get pulled off. I get confused. I get worried. I mean, I had a conversation with my partner this morning about something we're launching and, you know, is, how's it going? And, well, the numbers aren't hot. I'm like, oh. And he's like, breathe. And then he literally. This is my partner, Chuck. He's like, and now go for your walk and talk to your parents.

Yeah.

So cute. You know, and we all need that. Right? And, you know, so related to what's going on in the world is, you know, how do I want to respond to this? How do I want to be with this? Do I need enough news that. Do I need to obsess about the news? You know, I'm not a fan, by the way, but, you know, I'm not going to look at anything. I grab sound bites. What's happening? Great. Put it in the hopper. Back to my work.

Yeah, yeah, no, it's important to just have your finger on the pulse and know the major things that are going on.

Yeah.

You know, because if you don't know the major things that are going on, you could just be going about your day, launching programs and coming across as completely insensitive.

Yeah, that's. That's tone down, right?

Tone, depth. Just have a finger on the pulse. Oh, cool. This is what's happening in the world. Not cool, but, you know, this is what's happening in the world. Let me. If any changes do need to know that at least you're doing it consciously.

Mm.

Yeah.

Like, all. I saw a couple neighbors this morning on my walk in. All neighbors, we all referred to this thing that was the common, you know, oh, what do you think? How you doing with this? You know? You know, and somebody was like, well, my business, you know, and then somebody said, well, gas is going to go to 750. And I'm like, oh, okay. You know, I mean, there's opinions of opinions, you know, so. So the common. The common conversation again, what I was hopeful, based on what I said earlier, is the coming together with the topic.

Yeah.

Is I could feel connection with all of these people that I haven't felt in a while, ironically, because of the hotspot, you know.

Yeah. So, yeah, I want to also just nod for, you know, you know, everyone is that we're all going through PTSD from the pandemic. You know, something scary happened and our whole world shifted and a lot of us have not processed it and healed from it yet. And so this is, you know, ringing alarm bells that are similar to that. There's fear out there in the world and it's. It's feeling really present with us here and just give yourself a little.

A.

Little pause, a little break, a little grace and forgiveness for whatever your reaction is right now. Yeah, yeah, that's beautifully said.

I. I agree.

I. I know we both have hard stops at the top of the hour. Almost there. We've been almost a half hour. Here go us. You know, you do beautiful knowledging and you offer great guidance for how to continue to show up. And I, I know you have an event coming up that really will guide people through. Like, how is the best way that they can get in touch with who they are, how they want to show up in the world. Do you mind popping that in the comments right now?

Yeah, let me just throw that. I just. How do I. Okay, why isn't it letting me.

Oh, maybe message it to me in the private chat and I will put it in the comments.

Okay. Yeah, it's not letting me. So I'll just. Just sort of name it. There you go. Yeah. So the event is called Produce you. Y o u produce you event.com. here's the context. Everybody and I know, we knew it'll make it really brief. You know, you have good work. You want to put in the world. You. You're a person. I. You're a person who wants to make a difference with life. You're not just getting through life. You're one of those people. And this event is about that. Like, what am I here for? What am I all about? And it. So it moves from purpose, however, over to profit. So there is this, you know, it's. It's not. It doesn't. I don't lead with make. I don't lead. You know, come join me and I'm going to help you make, you know, six, you know, six figures in six minutes. I'm not that guy, but I am the guy that goes, okay, let's take this purpose, let's take this passion, let's take this creative idea you have and yeah, let's put it into the world and have people experience your good work, because I know many of you who are listening. You're sitting on good work. You're sitting on good philosophy. You're sitting on good content. You're sitting on a good book. So produce. You. You hear their language. Produce. We're going to help start, jumpstart the producer that you are of your good work. So produce youe event.com. save 50. Save 50 in the registration page. Get 50. 50 bucks off. $47 for three days. Three cups of coffee.

Three cups of coffee.

Expensive coffee.

Geez Louise.

No, I know. It's very expensive coffee.

Well, April, thanking the gods for how cheap our coffee is. Where we live. Yeah, I live in California.

Very expensive coffee. April 27, 28, 29. All virtual. I bring in Broadway people. It's very edutainment oriented. I'm a theater guy. So it's not just going to be three days of talking and we dance, we sing, we do lots of fun things, and we send packages to your home of fun products that we use during the event. So it's very. It's a 3D event on a 2D screen.

Yeah. No, I love it. I've been multiple times. I went to the last live one that you did in upstate New York. Unfortunately, the one in Palm Springs got canceled, so I couldn't hang out by the pool, but. Oh, well, what are you gonna do that's coming back.

Coming back. Okay, coming back.

All right. Well, thank you for.

Thanks, Katie.

I needed this. I needed this reset. So thank you for helping me kind of process it in this setting and hopefully this.

Jason and James, for commenting. Yeah.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Is it available? Recorded after?

It will not be. Where. Here's what we've learned, Jason, to be really pragmatic about that. I don't know about you, but when I buy something and I say I'm going to watch it later, I generally don't.

Right.

And I want my work in the world to work. And so it's not going to be recorded. The other reason why they buy the Jason, it's interactive. People are going to share their life with each other. So there's a. It's not like confidentiality is a major thing, but if people thought they were being recorded, they're not going to share as much. You're going to coach each other, you're going to support each other. Yeah. So, okay. Thanks for asking, Jason. Love you to join us.

Make the next one. It's in, I think in October or September, right?

Yeah. But make this one. Just make it. Make it a priority.

I think he might be up a mountain, so he might not be able to.

Oh, got it.

Anyway.

Thanks, Katie, so much. Thanks for doing this. Peace to our world.

Yeah.

Peace today. Calming energy. Calming energy for all of us and the world. So thanks, Katie.

Yeah, thank you. I'm Katie McManus, Business Strategist, Leadership coach. This is Rick Tamlin, owner and producer extraordinaire and an amazing business coach and mentor to me. Anyway, thank you all for joining. We look forward to seeing you all soon. Bye.