The Myth of Being Ready- part 2 of 5

Hello, everyone. Welcome. I'm Katie McManus, business strategist and leadership coach. Welcome. I'm going live on the Facebook, LinkedIn and YouTube. For those of you who are watching the replay, I realize I always forget to shout you out. Thank you so much for watching. If anything pops for you or if you have a thought you want to share or a question as you're watching the replay, please put it in the comments. I always go back and try to answer any questions that do come through, and I'm so flattered that you're watching. Thank you. For those of you who are watching live, you know, as per usual, I'm doing this through Streamyard. It is a great technology. However, it's imperfect, meaning that sometimes the comments don't come through. So welcome. If I don't shout you out when you comment, it is not you. It is just the fact that I'm not seeing your comment. And hi, everyone. Welcome. Seeing the number by the eyeball, climbing. Anyway, this week we're talking about the myth of being ready. And today I want to talk about how this can show up and how I see it show up a lot across different industries and different goals. Is someone has a goal, they have something they really want to achieve. And oh, hi, Matthew. Nice to see you, lion. Rawr. I love when people comment with emojis and I just have to guess what they're getting at. Do I look like a lion today? Hi, Brian. Hi, Larry. Nice to see you all. So this is one of the things that people do all the time when they're waiting to be ready, and that is that they stick to the same old shit that they've been doing before because it's comfortable to them and maybe it was effective in some way, shape, or form. How I seen this happen across different careers that I've had is, oh, I did this when I was 22. I went to California. That's when I first moved there to become a sommelier. Because I had this vision in my head of what it would be like to be a sommelier. Just a side note, I hate talking wine now. What life actually is like as a sommelier is nothing close to what I had envisioned. So don't ask me any questions about wine. Deal. Okay. But anyway, so. And I think I posted about this a couple weeks ago. I went there, I went through a very intensive training program. I got my level two certification. So I'm a certified sommelier now and forever. And I, you know, immediately started looking for jobs because, you know, that's nice to Have. And I got invited and like this guy really, really wanted to hire me. He was the, the beverage manager and lead sommelier for a really nice restaurant in San Francisco. He basically was telling me like, you know, give me your resume, I want to hire you. And I chickened out. He wanted me as an assistant sommelier and I chickened out. I didn't feel ready. So you know what I did? I went and got a job as an assistant server because that's what I'd done previously. I got a job as a waitress because that's what I had done previously. I leaned back on what felt safe and comfortable and within my comfort zone. And of course, I'm no longer a sommelier, so it didn't work out the way I wanted. And here's another way I see this. I used to work for Equinox Fitness and if you're not familiar with Equinox Fitness, it's a high end fitness club. They're all over the US And I think they have some locations in London now. Anyway, so I would sell gym memberships. And so part of selling the gym membership is you also can sell packages of personal training and the number. Yeah, right. Matthew, don't be a weenie. But I should have told myself that a long time ago. It's a good thing I've learned. But anyway, so you sell personal training and you match them up with a personal trainer if it matches their goals. And the number one objection that I would get from people is, oh, I really want to work with a personal trainer when I'm in better shape and I can get more out of it. As if all the workouts and all the things that they'd already been doing was going to do anything differently for them going forward and would get them in better shape before they started working with a personal trainer. Yeah, working with a personal trainer is vulnerable. It is outside your comfort zone. Because you know what? This human being is going to make you do uncomfortable stuff. That's hard. They're going to make you pick up and put back down really heavy things and do stuff that makes you look like, you know, you're doing weird things in the gym. I don't know, I'm thinking of like bed bugs or dead bugs. I always call them bed bugs. And then like hip thrusts. Okay, yeah, it looks weird. But you know what, it's really effective. And having a personal trainer who can tell you for your body type exactly what you need to do to get to your goal. Oh my God. Think of the amount of time and energy you save. But again, sometimes people just aren't ready to actually take that on, to actually invest in making that happen faster and. Hi, Cody, nice to see you. Welcome. Good evening. So how I see this with my clients and not necessarily with my clients because I screen really well for this now, but I used to work with clients and I talk to people all day, every day who they want to build a six figure business. They really, really want to build a six figure business. They may be working full time or maybe they're lucky enough that they don't have to work currently. So they're focusing a lot of energy on this, you know, whatever energy they have. And they have some clients, you know, but these clients don't pay a lot. They don't pay a lot if they pay anything at all. Okay. So there's a lot of pro bono work going on and they have like these ways that they have gotten these clients and it's giving a lot of stuff away for free. It's giving away free sessions. It's, you know, posting on, you know, women's groups or professional development groups on Facebook. It's raffling off your time, whatever. You know, it has gotten them to the point where they are, where they're making maybe $1,000 a month. And you know, I've had a couple people I've spoken with, it's like 3,000, great. But $3,000 a month for seven clients? You're never going to make a living that way. That's not enough money. I don't care where in the US you live. The. Let me see. Hi, Karen. Oh, welcome. And I'm so glad I'm seeing you come from Facebook. So that means that the Facebook connection is working. Thank you so much. But so here's the thing. In the U.S. i think the poverty line for a family of four is what, $27,000. If you're only making around 2 to 3,000amonth, guess what, you're hitting the poverty level. That's not sustainable. And so many of these people, they don't just want to make an income. They want to do really good work in the world. They want to go out and they want to help people. They want to have an actual impact. Okay? They want to change industries, they want to change how people are in relationship. Guess what? If you're not making enough money to live, you're not going to be able to do that work sustainably. It's just not possible. So you need to make a living not just for yourself, but for those clients out there. Who are looking for you and waiting for you and could so benefit from working with you, you need to do it then for them. So that's, and, and here's the other thing is that we should ourselves all day long, we should ourselves. We take, we, you know, think, okay, I have an expertise or I'm trained as a coach or I know all these things. Cool, I'm just going to turn into a business. And then we go out there and we try some businessy things that we kind of know and then we start punishing ourselves because it's not working. And here's the crazy part is that of course it's not working. Like, why are you holding yourself to that standard? You were never trained in how to start and run a business. That is a completely different skill set from how you set up branding or how you start a consultation. You know, how you do like your consultation thing, you know, whatever you're an expert on or the training that you got to become a coach. None of that ever covers how to start a business. Sometimes they say it does, but the advice they give is really out of whack and doesn't actually equate to having a full time six figure business. So then you start punishing yourself. So what happens to your confidence that ends up in the gutter and you just start this downward spiral where you just keep discounting yourself and keep discounting yourself and you're desperate for any kind of client you can possibly get. And then at some point you realize, okay, this isn't going to work, I'm not making enough money. Also, I'm not making enough money and I'm doing all this work for free with people who aren't committed. Because that's what happens when you have clients that aren't paying enough. They're not committed to doing the work. Now, especially you coaches out there and folks who are doing some kind of consultation that requires your client to do a lot of work as well. You have to charge enough to make sure that they do their homework, okay? Because if they don't have skin in the game, guess what? They're not going to do their work. And you know what happens then? They're not going to see results. And if they don't see results, you're not going to have some killer testimonials. And if you don't have killer testimonials, what are you going to use to draw in more clients, honey? So here's what's possible, okay? So that's the worst case scenario, Matthew. Preach Free is Not for me. Investing in the right people pro bono is def worth it. But they better grind like you do to earn that two way streets. Yeah, absolutely. And here's okay, and I'm so glad you said that because I preach about make people pay a lot of money and blah, blah, blah. If you know, it's your business, if you want to have a leg or an arm, you know, some limb of your business. I don't know why I'm making that part of the conversation so complicated. You want to have a limb of your business that is pro bono and is accessible to people who can't actually afford to work with you. Guess what? You're the business owner, you get to design that. That's totally fair. You can do that if you want to, you know, coach, you know, rich teenagers and then have a part of your business where you go into an inner city school and coach kids whose parents would never be able to afford a coach. Absolutely. Go and do that, please. It's so needed in the world. But design it into your business model because if you're just doing the free stuff, you're not going to be able to sustain it unless you are independently wealthy. Okay. In which case, you know, congratulations. I'm very happy for you and a little jealous, but yeah. So you as a business owner, you can decide on that. There was David Darst, I think he's a coach in the coactive training Institute. Can't afford yet. Yeah, exactly. They can't afford it yet. But you may change their lives in the way that they'll be able to afford it in the future. But anyway, so David Dorst, if you do want to work with people who are getting your services pro bono, one of the things that he did was he worked with inner city kids, or kids, I can't remember the exact demographic, but instead of having them pay or asking for any money for each hour of coaching he did for them, he had them go out and volunteer for an hour. And I thought that was just so elegantly done because not only are they getting the benefit of coaching, they're getting the benefit of paying it forward and learning how good it feels to volunteer. And honestly, like the networking that happens when you volunteer, getting to know people in different organizations, it may sound insignificant when you're in high school, but practicing that as young as possible is so valuable and you never know who you're going to meet. Cody, remember, you will be there soon. I think you're talking to Matthew or maybe to his clients. I don't know. I'm going to take a sip of water. Mmm. So. So what's possible when you let go of the old ways of doing things, when you let go of staying in your comfort zone, when you recognize. Okay, I want to make this happen and sorry, I'm getting distracted. Kevin, good advice is always pro bono. Has to be a managed portion of your business, 100%. Lawyers have this figured out. By the way, if you want an excellent immigration lawy lawyer. Kevin Stewart, who's commenting, is your person in California. I don't know immigration attorneys if it's different from state to state, if you can work with different states. But I always like plugging you because you never know when someone's going to have an immigration problem. Especially these days, talking to you about being independently wealthy. Thank you, Kody. Yes, I will be independently wealthy at some point, hopefully very soon. So I'm completely losing my train of thought. Oh, Kevin, you can work all over. Awesome. So anyone for your immigration attorney needs talk to Kevin Stewart. He's brilliant. What was I going to say? Oh, what's possible. So what's possible when you give up, when you get rid of this whole baggage that you have around? Am I ready to take on that thing that's outside of my comfort zone? Okay. Because your comfort zone is super cozy. You know, it's comfort, it's comfortable. Okay. When you're willing to give up that comfort and give up the BS tactics that you've been trying up until now that have not been equaling the results that you want. When you're willing to step out and really be real with yourself about what stepping out is for you. Well, first of all, you get some really incredible high paying clients. Okay. You learn what you're capable of. Okay. I talked about this last night. I don't. I'm gonna, I'm gonna start talking about this more. I used to be terrible at public speaking. So bad that I once read a letter at a luncheon and people came up to me after the fact and apologized to me for how bad I was. I. I never spoke to that professor again who volunteered me for that. I had told him I wasn't a good public speaker and he just said, oh, no, you're going to do it anyway. And here I am. I'm about to go on a public speaking tour. On a virtual. On a virtual tour. Don't worry, I'm not going to be doing any super spreader events that would be really bad for business. Brian Wang, you can't learn something fully until you start doing it. Yeah. You can't read a book about riding a bike. I mean, you can, but you're not going to know how to ride a bike from reading it. You have to actually do it. And. Larry, do Native Americans need immigration lawyers? I don't. I don't think so. I'd hope not. That seems unfair and screwed up. Matthew Thornber, what does stepping out of your comfy zone look like for you? That's a good question. For me, you know, it's still intimidating when I don't know my audience. If I'm doing a keynote talk and I don't know a lot of people in the audience, that's intimidating for me. You know, anytime I raise my rates, I do have a moment of panic, like, oh, my God, who the hell am I to do that? But what's funny is I've noticed that each time I raise my rates, my clients are that much more committed. You know, like, they get their homework to me as soon as possible. They do all the work. It's incredible. So I'm showing myself that that's not as scary as I've made it out to be. And, you know, and I hope you're taking that and thinking, okay, she trains on how to set your pricing high and she trains on how to sell. And yeah, I train this stuff and I still get, you know, angsty when I ask for a higher price. It is totally normal. If you feel angsty, that means that you're not a sociopath. So congratulations. And also outside of my comfort zone is having tough conversations with people that I care about, having tough conversations about, you know, how our relationship works. If there's something going wonky that is nerve wracking for me that is way outside my comfort zone. I was raised by a very wasp be Italian Catholic family. So it's, you know, we don't talk. A lot of feelings, Matthew, it is normal. Yeah, yeah, it's normal. And everyone's comfort zone is going to be different. You know, I have a lot of clients who are really comfortable on camera. They're really comfortable filming themselves. And so that's not a push for them at all. But writing a book would be, you know, or vice versa. You know, I have some, some clients who are really talented writers. And being on camera, it's like, I don't want to do that. And I'm a firm believer that when you do the thing that scares you, it actually, for one, it has a huge impact on your business. And I don't know if it's. I actually think it's a blend of, like, the energetics around it. It's almost like you're manifesting the success because you're showing the universe that you are willing to put in the work and you're really serious about it. And then I also think it just. It's a beautiful way for people to see you in a. In a different light, in a way that they've never gotten to experience you before. Yeah. But, you know, when you do that, when you step outside of your comfort zone, you do. You. You dance with the universe in the energetic way that tells them, hey, you know, I'm serious. I mean business, and we're going to make this happen. And you also poke a hole. Poke more holes in that screen. I have this metaphor of, you know, imagine you're on stage and you're. You're performing something, and the audience is, you know, obviously where the audience should be, but there's this big screen between you and them. And if you're running a business, especially if you're running a business virtually like we all are right now, you need to start poking holes in that screen. And so one hole might be a Facebook post. Another hole might be going on LinkedIn live. Another one might be doing a video and posting it to Instagram. Another one might be like doing a keynote talk for an event. And you just want to keep poking holes, because the more holes that you have in the screen, the better the audience can see you. And the better they can see you, the better they can see. Oh, is this person someone that I should hire and be in business with or someone that I should refer to people in my world, or am I totally not interested in this person at all? They are not useful to me. I got to get out of this auditorium and go someplace else that is also valuable. Yeah, but, you know, to do that, to start poking holes in that screen, you do need to realize the things that you're keeping yourself safe on. And also, don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. I don't really like that saying because that sounds really, you know, dramatic, you know, and who would do that? Also, do they not have a drain? That's the other question. But, you know, if there are aspects of what you have been doing that do work and they just need to be improved upon, you know, do that. But the stuff that you know is just that you're making part of your standard operating procedure just because you're afraid of doing it differently. Not a good reason. Absolutely not a good reason. Whenever my client starts telling me that they have an idea for their business and it's based in fear. I will literally tell them, I will hang up on you if you keep talking this way. I will hang up on you. I have no interest in talking to your saboteur, which is your voice of doubt, which is that fear voice. When that fear voice is taken care of, you can call me back or are you ready to put it on the shelf right now? Because your saboteur is the worst business strategist you could possibly have. It's not. It's not worth anything. It is the best way to make poverty level money from your business. Yeah. So I hope your takeaway today is to figure out what is the thing that you're holding onto and throw it out and realize what is the thing that would really push the envelope for you. Maybe that's investing in a coach. Matthew. Or pay me four times. Yeah, yeah, I think I understand what you're saying, but I might. I might be missing the point. It's hard in this medium where I'm talking and then I just get a little blip of text. Sometimes I misinterpret and sometimes I just forget what I said two minutes ago and someone's referring to that. So at this point in the night, my memory is basically like a goldfish. But anyway, so everyone should look at, you know, what are your goals? What are your goals and what is the scary thing that you think is going to get you there and just make a plan to go do that instead of booting people? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I should have a surcharge for when the saboteur shows up to the coaching call. That will be $1,000, thank you very much. I like how you think, Matthew. I'm a fan of that anyway. Although, you know, could. It could get messy legally. I might have to call on. On Kevin to help me. I don't know. Do you do billing disputes? Anyway, it is 9 o' clock here. Oh, my gosh, it's 9 o'. Clock. I haven't worked out yet, so I'm gonna be wrapping this up in a minute. But for everyone who's been watching and everyone who's watching this replay, I want to hear from you, I want to hear in the comments or DM me, what is the scary thing that you're committing to take on? Okay. And what is the scary thing that you're committing to take on that you do not feel ready for? Okay. Because that's the point of this week. We're looking at this whole myth of being ready Okay. I don't believe being ready actually happens in the comments leading up to this. Someone, I think it was Theo, said, when are you ready? You're only ready for something after you've done it, like, half a dozen times. Maybe more. You know, practice makes perfect. And, you know, I'm sorry to break it to you, you just gotta go do it. So that's the only thing that will get you over it. Anyway, what else? Oh. Oh, some of the comments disappeared. That's weird. Anyway, I'm gonna leave it there. I hope you all are having a great week, and I'm so excited to talk to you the rest of this week about being ready and the myth of all that bs. If you have any questions, then please. If you have any questions or any ways you want to hear about this for the rest of the week, please DM me. Brian, I'm asking. I'm taking the next step to run my business via donation. Oh, interesting. If. If you post what your business is, maybe some people want to donate. Progress over perfection. Oh, someone's calling. So many things are happening. Oh, my gosh. Okay, well, love you all, everyone. Thank you so much for tuning in, and I will talk to you tomorrow night. Have a good night. Bye.