Trapped in a Job and can't get out!

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Hello, I'm Katie McManus, business strategist and leadership coach. Happy Thursday, everyone. Today is day eight of me going live every single day in September. It also happens to be September 8th. This is not the only live that I'm doing today, people. If you want to join this evening, I'll be going live with Tyler Cook and David Fryman. We're going to be doing our normal biz lab live where we pick a business type out of a jar. We have a whole bunch of business types in a jar. We don't know what it's going to be ahead of time. And in the show, we literally design how you would start it, scale it, market it, sell it, and all the things. So can't wait for that. Right now, however, I want to talk about the before times, the before times of starting a business, because let's be real, like, you're not jumping out of college or jumping out of high school typically, and just starting a business right then. And there's most of the time you go and you have a couple jobs first, you have a career. And I can't tell you how many clients I've worked with who have decided to start a business because they can no longer tolerate the abuses that come in working in a job. It's a really sad truth. And as a former employee of super abusive businesses, I can totally relate. There are so many businesses that are built out of the wreckage of a traumatizing career that I don't want you to think that because you've had a bad career. And when I say bad, I don't mean unsuccessful. When I say bad, I mean bad for you. Has burned you out, has made you feel less than. Has basically riddled holes in your confidence. Like Swiss cheese has torn you down more than it has built you up. Okay? Just because that has been your experience in your career does not mean that will be your experience in building a business. I say that with. With personal experience and also professional experience. I see my clients thriving in businesses that they create when they really struggled mentally, emotionally, and physically in jobs that they had previously. And. Good morning, Asher. Hi. Great to see you. So let's talk about this. There's. There's recovering from working for an abusive boss or an abusive business. There's working in just plain old toxic environments and spending way too long in survival mode, which is Basically, when you're constantly walking on eggshells, you feel like you're skating on thin ice, and you're constantly dodging being fired. Okay, there, There's a certain thing that happens to your. Your nervous system when you're constantly in that kind of environment. You. You don't have access to your creativity at that point. You barely have access to your resources. You. You constantly feel like your ability to even survive, to even live threatened. Can I just. This may be a trigger warning for some because I am talking about abusive behavior here. That is what abusers do. People who are abusive to other people consciously want you to always be on the back foot. They want for you to be afraid for your life. They want for you to always feel like you're on the defense, because if you're not at an event advantage, they can do pretty much whatever they want. And I just want you to know that for some, starting a business is actually that declaration that they need to break out of that cycle to say to the universe and the world and everyone around, hey, I'm not willing to be treated that way anymore. For others, and this can overlap. For others, it's a healing process. Hi, Stephen Doyle. Afternoon. From Ireland. Hello. I think it's tea time for you. This healing process of starting your own business with the intention of doing things the way that you wish they had been done in your previous jobs. You know, it's almost like those. Those people who find religion. You know, starting your business can be a healing process that brings you back to what really, truly matters to you. Right? It is. It is really, I mean, the ultimate sense of creating your life. Right. That's one of the reasons why. Why when I work with clients, we're not just focusing on the business. We're also focusing on what kind of life they want to create for themselves. Right. This is a very holistic process because you can build a successful business, no problem. I have full faith in you that you can do that. But to build a business that is not only successful, but supports the ideal life that you want to live, that's a completely different matter entirely. Right? You can create a business that is super successful but trashes your life. That's super easy. Tim Ferriss wrote a whole book about it. Oh, the mail just dropped. Excuse me. Luna's just barking. So I want to talk about if you're still in that abusive system, you're still working a job where your boss is abusive. The business is just abusive. It's toxic af. I just want to normalize that. You're going to feel trapped. That is, that is what abusers do. This is what abusive say systems do. Their. Their first priority when they have a victim. And essentially if you're in one of these systems, you are a victim. Sorry to break it to you is to make you feel isolated, like there's no way out. Because that way they don't have to worry about losing you, right? They make you feel like this is the only thing available to you. You know, I want you to think of those jobs where you're so valuable to the organization they can't promote you. But also they remind you const that like no one else is going to hire for what you're. What you're doing. Sorry, it's just like here you are. So it's really hard to see your way out. And I just want to pause and tell you I see you, this is, this is normal to feel this trapped, to feel like there's no way out, to feel like there's no options, okay? That is normal to feel that way. That is what your system around you has consciously done to you, okay? But I want you to know that it is not true, okay? You are not trapped by the amount of hours you're working, okay? You are not trapped by your workload. You are not trapped by people counting on you, okay? You are not trapped by the paycheck you get by the quote unquote security, you get by the health insurance, you get by. None of that stuff is actually trapping you, okay? You have endless possibilities available to you. And I just want you to know that, okay? And one of the things that happens when you go from feeling trapped to starting to see what possibilities are available to you, you realize something that's really important, that the only person who needs to give you permission to go out on your own and change your life for the better is you. You are the only person who can give permission to yourself for this. And you are the only person who can receive that permission. I want you to hear that the only person withholding permission from you is you. And the only person who's not listening and not receiving that permission is also you if you're choosing to stay trapped in this environment. Okay? I work with, and I know this can come across as snarky because I'm like, you can change your life. And that sounds elitist and like I'm completely out of touch with everything, but let me tell you, I work with clients every fucking day who feel like they were trapped in their job for many, many, many reasons. It's not true. There are so many opportunities available to you. The only thing stopping you is you. And you know this. You absolutely know this. Because you're smart and you're creative and you're resourceful, and you haven't been able to tap into those creative outlets and those resources in a really long time. And you're hungry to do it. I know you are. So here's what I want you to do. This is my one call to action today, is that if you're trapped in this, I want you to get really super fucking clear on what it is that you actually want. What do you want? What do you want your life to look like? How many hours a week do you want to work? What do you want to do in your free time? How much money do you want to make? You know? What kind of people do you want to work with? Decide what you want right now, because here's what happens. When you realize that you've been free all this time and you see all these opportunities and possibilities, it can get really overwhelming. It can get really overwhelming. You're like, oh, my God, well, I could take this job or this job, or I could start my own business, or I could do this or I could do that. I just want you to take a deep breath, Slow your roll, and decide what it is that you want. And it's okay if you don't know. It's okay if you haven't actually been asked what you want in a really, really long time, so you're completely out of touch with it. That is normal. I can't tell you how many times I ask someone, what do you want? And they're like, oh, my God, no one's ever asked me that before. How sad. How sad that we live in a world where no one gets asked that. So I want you to see that there are possibilities and opportunities that are all around you. And if you want, take a minute right now, and I want you to just jot down five of them. What are the five opportunities and possibilities that are available to you right now in this moment? Once you realize that your life is abundant with possibilities and opportunities, it can get overwhelming. But here's where knowing what you want actually helps you narrow it down. Okay? Just because you could become a clown and join the circus doesn't mean that you should. Doesn't mean that that's aligned to what you want. Just because you could become a regional director of sales for your current job's competitor doesn't mean that you should. If that's not what you Ultimately want. So here are some questions to ask yourself. A. What are the things about my current life that I absolutely hate, never want to do again? B what are the activities that light me up and that I lose all sense of time and space while I'm doing them? When I get told that I helped someone, what feedback makes me feel the best? Like, did you help someone in their career? Did you help someone with a computer program? Did you empower someone to go and make a change in their life, whatever? And how do I want to be remembered? How do I want people to remember me? And honestly, an activity for this is to just get really morbid and start writing speeches that you want people to give at your funeral. And here's the tough part is once you know this, once you've done the deep dive, and once you've asked yourself the question, given yourself the answer, you have to give yourself permission to not settle for less than that. Oftentimes, this is where starting a business starts, because not settling for for less doesn't always fit in with applying for job. So I want you to have so much compassion for yourself. Know that it is not your fault for ending up here, for ending up in a traumatizing work environment. Unfortunately, they are a dime a dozen out there. But you have full permission in this moment to say, no, this is not okay with me anymore and I'm not willing to do this anymore. And I deserve more than what I've gotten up until this point. And I'm gonna go get it. Hussein. Certainly life will not be easy for someone who makes his own way and builds his future. And he does not always have to receive abuse. The era of the era of individual ownership and authoritarianism is no longer the same as it was in the past. Today there are systems that preserve dignity and professional rights. Let us be optimistic, defining our goals and what is the calling of ambitions. Yes. Yeah, yeah. There, there's a sense of personal responsibility that you get to claim. And it's, it's, here's how I want to be treated, here's how I want to feel, and here's what I want monetarily and benefits wise and in my work environment. And you get to hold that standard. And here's the other side. If you don't hold that standard, there's no one out there holding it for you. There's no one out there who's advocating for you in the same way you can advocate for yourself if any part of this has awoken that entrepreneur in you, or maybe you've been thinking about starting a business and you've been holding yourself back for whatever reason. If any of this that I've been speaking about has spoken to you and has woken up that part and makes you want to lean in and actually get started with this, then I want you to shoot me a dm. And what you and I are going to do is we are going to hop on a 30 minute call, I call them a generate income strategy call, because that's what businesses are there for. They're there to generate income. And we are going to come up with your first three steps, your first three steps to start this business. And if you're curious about working with me, obviously we're going to talk about that as well, if you're curious. But what's important for you is that you get started and not get overwhelmed by how much there is to do. Anyway, with that, thank you for joining. Thank you for joining Stephen and Hussein and Asher. I hope you all have an amazing Thursday. Like I said earlier, so this is not my only Live Today. I will be going live later today with Tyler Cook, marketing maverick and David Fryman, who is an incredible lawyer for entrepreneurs. I have an itchy nose and we're going to be doing Brave Biz Labs. We're going to be talking about how to create a business. We're not sure we'll be pulling a business type out of a jar and basically improving from there. I also want to own that. You know, sometimes we're experts in the topic and sometimes we are making it up and we're completely honest about that. So it's pretty entertaining. We'll be going live with you this evening at 7pm Eastern. You'll be seeing me post an event about it to promote it and I can't wait to see you there. And thank you for joining me this morning. Anyway, have an amazing rest of your Thursday and I will talk to you all soon. Ah, thanks, Erica. Oh, Erica, what time will we be going live again? At 7:00pm Eastern Standard. So 7:00pm Eastern Standard. Tonight, Thursday, September 8th, we will be going live with Brave Biz Labs. Anyway, thank you so much and we will talk to you soon. Bye.