Two guys in a bar

Good evening. I'm Katie McManus, business strategist and leadership coach. Luna Lovegood is to my right. She is convinced that if she is cute enough, I will play ball with her all evening. But that's what we're here for. We will play ball in a little bit, right, baby? And I am wearing a hat because it is cold outside. I've been wearing a hat all day, and my hair just looks real effed up without it at this point. So we're having a great time, right? Anyway, happy Tuesday. We are a few days to Christmas. Like I said, I'm going live every single day for the rest of this year because it is important to show up. And we have just enough time in the rest of 2021 to decide a couple things about how you are going to be in your business next year. Okay? Not much time to make up for mistakes made this year, but we're gonna let it go. Next year is a whole new slate. We get to be whoever we want to be, and we get to make our businesses as successful as we want them to be. Right? And hi, whoever's watching. I do love this to be interactive. So if you have any questions or anything to add to the conversation, please do pop whatever you have to say in the chat. Anyway, so I wanted to talk this evening about this fun metaphor that I have about the two guys in a bar. And no, this isn't a joke, although I'm sure you can make one up out of it. We have all been in a bar, right, where there have been examples of the guy trying to pick up girls. Okay, fair. We've all been there. Yes. Great. Okay, so there are two types of guys who go to bars to pick up girls. I'm going to describe them, and I'm going to have some tough truth for you at the end of this, and I hope you'll be open to it. Okay, so guy number one, creepy af. Okay, this guy is wearing clothes that are, like, too tight or don't fit him well. He's obviously uncomfortable. He, like, weirdly sidles up to women and, like, leans in and, you know, props himself up on the bar a little too aggressively. And the look that everyone gives him is like, ooh. But, like, he doesn't really take no for an answer. And he's kind of smarmy, and he's out there and he's, like, trying to buy shots for, like, college age girls who are taking the shots but, like, don't want to give him the time of day. And he's not being discerning about who he's giving attention to and the women that he actually has a shot with. The women who are like, there, they really do want to meet someone. They are put off by how desperate and needy he's coming across. And let's be real, like, he has learned some tactics from some books. You know, he's learned, like, the seven pickup phrases that he's going to use that evening. And he is just committed. He's committed to, you know, acting out that plan, even if it has a very low success rate. Okay? Guy number one. Guy number two, he's sitting at the end of the bar. He's lean back, he's cool, he's confident. He doesn't approach people. People approach him. You know, women find, and men find a reason to go up to that part of the bar where he is to order their drink next to him because they want to strike up a conversation with him because he seems interesting, okay? He makes eye contact with select few people in the room, and they find a reason to introduce themselves to him. They seek him out. And when the wrong person starts a conversation with him that he's not interested in, he kindly, kindly but decisively ends the conversation to leave himself open for the right people to come to him. Don't we all want to be guy number two in our businesses? We all want to be that cool, confident person sitting at the bar that has people just come right up to us because they're interested in what we have to offer. And I have a tough truth for you. If you are struggling in your business, if you don't know where your next client is coming from, if you're stressing out about money, if you don't know what to say, say on social media so that you don't get crickets, if you're just dispensing advice every which way, hoping that someone out there will see that you're an expert and they'll want to give you all their money to work with you. Sorry to break it to you, but you're guy number one. Your guy number one. You're being creepy, you're being desperate, you're being needy. And I don't blame you. And I'm not. I'm not saying this to make you feel bad about it. We just have to. We have to call it what it is before we can actually fix it, okay? The good news about guy number one is that that dude, he can commit to a plan, okay? He has pieced together this. This strategy and this plan, and he's committed to it. He's wearing uncomfortable clothes all night, he's probably a little too sweaty, and he is using really weird pickup lines that he knows, like, probably don't have a success ratio. But you know what? Someone said that they would work and he is going to use them until they work. Okay? So if you're guy number one in your business, let me just tell you something. I celebrate you because you are working so hard and making no traction. Okay? This tells me that once you have the right strategy and the right plan, there's going to be no stopping you. Okay? So how does someone go from being guy number one in the bar for their business to being guy number two? Okay, first and foremost, you need a better plan, buddy. Okay? You need to ditch all the advice and all the tactics that you have picked up around the world from randos who have no idea what kind of business you're building. You need to ditch the advice that you've gotten from the freebies that you have downloaded from Luna. Stop moving my computer thing. She just really wants attention. Oh, my God, Luna, stop that. You need to ditch the advice that you've gotten from all those freebie PDFs that you've downloaded on how to build a business. And you need to stop following advice of books that are actually written to sell you a bigger thing. And I'm talking to you coaches right now. And you know, I'm talking about the prosperous coach, Rich Litfin. Let me tell you something. I love this book for how it delivers its message on what you should be charging. But it is specifically designed to give you just enough to hang yourself with and fail with so that you think, oh, shit, I'm missing part of the story. I have to go sign up for his three day retreat. That's a few thousand dollars. That's what that book is designed to do. And it does so very effectively. Okay? Stop following that advice. Start finding strategies either with someone like me or someone else. I'm not even attached to you working with me. I just need you to find a strategy that actually works for the type of business that you're building and for your personality and your ideal life. Because here's the thing, there are a lot of business plans out there. There are a lot of formulas to like, get clients and make money and find success. But if they don't support what your ideal life is, the life that you just would give anything to live, if they, they require you to sacrifice big enough chunks of that, it's not worth it. You're. Yeah, you can, you know, presumably, build a successful Luna, go away, build a successful business. But at the end of the day, you're going to want to run screaming from this because it's not the life you want to lead. You need a str and you need a strategy that's actually effective. If you're being guy number one in the bar, that strategy is not effective. Sure, you might find someone who's as desperate as you are, who wants some free drinks, who'll give you some attention. And just to. To translate my metaphor, this means you may get some people who book some free calls with you to pick your brain and make you feel important and make you feel like, you know, you have something to offer. But they are never going to buy from you. They're never going to buy from you. And you're going to. Ultimately, if you stick with the plan you've got right now and you're attracting these kinds of people, you're going to ultimately have your confidence crushed because you're going into it thinking, okay, well, they're going to spend time around me and they're going to see how great my service is and how good I am at what I do, and then they're going to want to buy and they're just going to ask to buy. And if they're a freebie chaser, doesn't matter if you ask them to buy. If you take them through a wholesale process, they are never going to buy from you. But that's what you're attracting if you're being guy number one. Now, to be guy number two, that's number one. You need a better plan. You need a strategy and an action plan. You also need some confidence. And I'm not telling you, oh, go to the confidence store. It'll be great. Just get some confidence. You'll be fine. No, I'm telling you, you need to know what you have to offer. Luna, stop moving the thing. You need to know what you have to offer. You just need to know what you have to offer. You need to know the impact that what you have to offer has. Okay, you may be a fitness coach. You may help people lift weights and build muscle. You may not be a trained nutritionist. That's okay. You don't have to be everything to everyone. That's absolutely fine. You need to have confidence to say, hey, here's what I do and here's what I don't do. Okay? I'm not over here trying to do business strategy for everyone and coach them through designing their business and also doing their Websites. No, I'm sorry, you have to go to someone else for that. Sure. I'll take an eyeball to your website and tell you what I think it needs. But I'm not a website designer, okay? I made my own website, but that's it. And I'm getting it redone, believe me, okay? So whatever it is that you have to offer, you just have to know it. Guy number two at the bar. I'm gonna. I'm gonna get a little crude here for a second. He's not going around saying he's the best in bed that anyone has ever had, okay? Like guy number one probably is. No, he'd probably admit that he's mediocre in bed, but he will say, you know what? But I'll let you sleep and I'll make you an omelette in the morning. That's what he has to offer. I'm turning red saying this. I'm getting bashful. Okay? We're gonna move on from that. So you have to know what you have to offer and just be confident about it. And it's okay that you don't have everything to offer. You just have the things that you do and you can be super fucking good at them, okay? Now number three is critical if you want to be guy number two at the bar, if you want people to come to your business, if you want them to hire you and you want them to be attracted in without you having to chase them down. Are you ready for it? You have to know that you are enough. Just the way you are. You are enough. You are fully baked. You are enough. You don't need any more certifications. You don't need any more trainings. You are enough. There's no more things that you have to add to the recipe of you. There's no changes you need to make. You don't need to be thinner. You don't need to be taller. You don't need your. Your teeth to be straighter. You are fine just the way you are. In fact, you are better than fine. There is no one out there in the world who can be you like you can. And there are people just waiting for someone who has your sense of humor, your perspective, your intelligence, your viewpoint of the world to work with on whatever problem it is that you solve. I'll tell a story. So one of the things I work with, personal trainers, generally when gyms are open, and it's, you know, something that is essential to my physical fitness because honestly, I love working out. But, you know, you send me to the gym. Oh, gosh. We have a friend on the couch. You send me to the gym after a long day, and I just don't want to have to think of what I have to do. Also, I need some accountability, because if I have a busy week, like, the easiest thing to cancel is going to the gym. But here's what I ask when I hire a personal trainer, like, yeah, I want to know that you, like, know what you're doing and you carry proper insurance. So if I get hurt, like, you know, or if anything happens, heaven forbid. But what I want to hear is that you'll make me laugh, that we'll have a good time while we hang out together for two or three hours a week, because I'm not on this earth to hang out with people that I don't enjoy being around, okay? This is not everyone. I'm a picky human. I don't get along with just anyone. So if you think that everything that you have going on is not enough, let me guarantee you that it is. There's someone out there who will laugh at your jokes, and that'll be the thing that makes them want to sign up with you. There is someone out there who honestly loves your perspective on what it is that you do, whatever that is, and that's why they're going to sign up with you. You don't have to be anything more than who you are right now. You're perfect, okay? If you want to be guy number two, you gotta just own that. And of course, you're gonna have moments where you stop believing that, where you question yourself and you think, oh, my God, like, I'm a fraud. No one's gonna believe me. What am I doing? What. What are they gonna do when they find out that I'm an imposter and I don't know what I'm doing, okay? You can be a trained professional, and you can still have those moments of doubt. I guarantee you there are neurosurgeons out there who have done a certain kind of surgery hundreds of times, and they have that moment of doubt of, like, oh, my God, what if I forget what I'm doing? I'm a fraud. We all have it. Actually, that's a lie. If you're a sociopath or a psychopath, you don't have it. They don't doubt themselves. So congratulations. If you doubt yourself, you're not one of those. Anyway, that's all I have for you tonight. If you want to be guy number two and the things that you're missing are, like, the plan and the confidence and, like, really owning what your superpowers are. This is what I do with my clients. And I don't know you. I don't know who's watching right now. No one's commented. But if you're lacking that and you want it, just DM me and we'll book a call, we'll book a time to talk, and it'll be super simple. And if it's a fit, great. And if it's not, I'll have a ton of resources for you. But regardless this, this final two weeks, we have less than two weeks now, actually, of the year, you get to really decide one thing. What are you going to be committed to? Are you going to continue to be committed to the strategies and the action plans that have not moved the needle for you so far this year? Let me just say that again. Are you going to continue to be committed to the strategies and actions that have not done shit for you this year, or are you going to commit to something different that is effective and will grow your business and get you paying clients and allow for you to finally breathe? It's up to you. Anyway, I'm Katie McManus, business strategist and leadership coach. Luna Lovegood, sitting on the floor, currently my sheep doodle. That's. She's my chief snack officer, apparently. Anyway, thank you for joining me this evening. I hope this was useful. And like I said, if you're ready to commit to something different than what you've been doing, shoot me a dm. Anyway, love you all. Have a great night. Talk to you tomorrow. Oh, hi, Dan. Thank you. Have a great night, Dan.