What do YOU do in the shadows?

Foreign. Hello, I'm Katie McManus, business strategist and money mindset coach. Good evening, everyone. It is Tuesday, December 13th. My lucky number. No, that's not true. It's one of them. I have a few lucky numbers, but that's one of the ones that I like the most. Anyway, I am going live to the Facebooks, to LinkedIn, to YouTube, and to Twitter. I love this to be interactive. So if you have any questions or something to add to the conversation, please pop them in the comments. And just be aware, sometimes Streamyard doesn't like me and it doesn't show me all the comments. So if you comment something and I don't call you out, it is not you, I swear. Swear to God. Is just the technology not cooperating with us. I started this. This live off talking about what we do in the shadows. And if you haven't seen this movie, it's on hbo. I think it is a mockumentary about vampires living in New Zealand in, like, a group home and how they, like, function in modern society. It is hysterical. We're not actually talking about that tonight, though. Tonight we are talking about the fear that prevents you from actually getting started in your business. Okay. We're talking about that fear that carries over into everything that you do and will actually hold you back at every single stage as you build your business. So here's the thing. You have this part of your brain. In coaching, we call it the saboteurs. I like to call them the what if. Monsters. It's a part of your brain that has been very helpful in the survival of our species. Okay, so, like, as your. As your ancestors left the cave, it was very smart for them to scan the wilderness for tigers and for bears and for other, you know, like, dangerous, potentially venomous creatures. This part of our brain allows for us to identify danger out there in the world, and it prioritizes how our safety over everything else. Now, the only problem with this part of our brain, and actually, I wouldn't even say this is a problem, this is one of the best problems to have, is that the world is just too safe now. It's just too safe. And our brains haven't evolved along with modern society. Like, things only got really safe. Amygdala. Yeah, I mean, I'm not. I'm not like a brain surgeon or anything, Paul. So we're just going to use Kochi words for this, but yes, I'm sure that's. That's part of the brain. The lizard brain. I don't know. I don't I never took anatomy. People, we're not. We're not trusting me with any words that have to do with the anatomy or parts of the brain, but the thought process is there, right? So anyway, our. Our world is very safe right now, and that's an amazing problem to have. However, our brains get trapped, triggered whenever something that appears dangerous comes into our. Our awareness. Now, things that are new and outside of our comfort zone, that is seen as danger number one. Okay? It is one of the scariest things for our nervous systems because what if people reject us? You know, in the past, our ancestors, if people rejected you, you were absolutely fine. Okay? People rejected you, then you would die in the wilderness alone, because you'd be kicked out of the tribe. Okay? That's bad. Also, like, if you're starting a business, here's where a big comfort zone violation happens is if I'm starting a business, like, this is my income. This is how I make money. This is how I survive, how I survive. So your survival instincts will kick in as you're starting a business, because what if it doesn't work? What if I start this business and it flops? It doesn't make me any money. What if I start this business on the side of my job and they find out and they fire me? Then I won't have any money, I won't be able to afford food and shelter, and I won't be able to feed my kids. Big scary, right? So your survival instinct is going to get kicked in as you're starting this business. And the more aware you are of this, the better you're going to be able to deal with it. All right, so what helps us when we're activated by all of this fear coming up? When we're terrified that we're going to take this leap and it's going to be irreversible? Like, this is a big fear that a lot of new business owners have is, what if I quit my job, start this business, do it for like a year, don't get anywhere. And then after I'm unhirable again, it's like this fear that you've left the job market for a year, you'll never be hired again. Guys, you're overreacting, okay? You're making up big stories. Of course, like, you may have to explain what you were up to in that year, but there are totally ways to get hired again. If you wanted to give up your job or, I'm sorry, your. Your business and go back to work, you'd be able to figure it out. I have full faith in you here, but here's the end. Faith is really the bottom line here. If you want to start this business and you want to venture out on your own and you want to use your services to make money and to help other people, you need to have some faith in yourself. This is never going to work unless you believe it's going to work, okay? If you want to learn how to or train your body to run a nine minute mile, it's never going to happen unless you believe it can happen, okay? There's no fucking way. You start training for a race, you start training running and you go, go, go, go, go, go, go. If you don't believe that you can run a nine minute mile, you're never going to do it. It's just, it's never going to happen. Your belief system about yourself sets the course for your life. I want to say that again. Your belief system about yourself sets the course for your life. If you believe that you have to settle, settle for less in love, in friendships, in jobs, in living situations, guess what, you're going to get, you're going to get less if you believe that you're not going to do this, it's not going to be successful, whatever. Guess what's going to happen if you believe that you're never going to be able to lose weight while you're dieting. Guess what's going to happen or guess what's not going to happen, you're probably not going to lose the weight. You having faith in yourself is the first step to you having a successful business. When I was in the early stages of my business, I had a lot of things happen. I had my own little financial meltdown, okay? I had escaped from an abusive relationship. That person had opened some credit lines under my name and taken some money from me. So that wasn't great. I had invested a lot of money in coaching school. I left my job too early. Like it was a, it was a hodgepodge of like shitty situations and also like my own personal choices that led to me coming this close to having to declare bankruptcy. Okay? It was awful. It was one of the lowest points of my life, actually. It was the lowest point of my life. I remember sitting in an alleyway in Brooklyn. I was at this money seminar and I was in this alleyway. It was December and it was like this time of year. It was freezing cold and I was wearing my jacket and I had run out of this class, class that I was in just because something was so triggering to me and I Just like, I. I couldn't breathe. And so I run out of the building and, like, there was no place to sit. I'm in Brooklyn, right? And so I walked down the street. I'm calling my coach. I'm sobbing, I'm sobbing. And I didn't think to grab any tissues on my way out. Okay, so no tissues. I'm wearing my winter jacket. I find this alleyway. There's a set of steps, and like, all these people are walking to and from, like, their office building through this alleyway to lunch. And here I am, I just have snot pouring out of my nose. And just, like, my face is red. And I'm sure they thought someone had died, but here I am. And of course, my coach at the time, like, insisted on FaceTime, so he got to see all of it. And I'm, like, doing this with my coat because there was so much snot coming out of my face that. And I had to dry clean the coat after. But I just. I didn't think there would be any way out. And I just, like, it was. I crashed and burned my life, and I didn't see how I could move beyond this. Like, and if I had gotten myself here, oh, my God, like, how am I ever going to get myself out of here? And I'm sharing this because I want you to know if you have anything like that happening in your life right now, I'm not going to tell you. Just believe in yourself and, like, be super, you know, hunky dory, and everything's going to be fine. No, life can be really fucking hard. Life can be devastating. Life can knock you down. And, yeah, you're going to get back up. We'll get there. Don't jump ahead. Life can knock you down. And you know what? Sometimes you need to stay down just for a minute. You need to stay down there and you need to feel the pain and the grief and the sadness and the anger and all of the emotions that are going through you before you can believe in yourself again. Okay? So I just want to share this because if you're having anything similar to that going on in your life right now, if you're starting a business, and maybe it's not the worst, you know, situation in your life, but it just feels. Feels hard. And you just. There's just grief and anger that it's not going the way you wanted. Stay with that emotion just for a little bit. Let it process through you. Because if you skate over it, guess what's going to keep popping up now. I started this. This live talking about what we do in the shadows. You know, the vampire mockumentary, which I just love vampires and I love mockumentaries, so love, love plugging that whenever I can. But. But here's the thing. Whatever led you to that low point is your shadow work and your business. Starting this business and, you know, getting clients and growing and scaling and take it, taking it to that next level. Each level is going to tap back into that shadow work. It's going to tap back into that low moment that you experienced in the beginning. Everything is going to tie to this. And if you don't deal with it, if you don't work on that emotion, if you don't figure out, okay, whoa, what am I actually believing about myself in this moment? Because I can tell you, in that moment, in that alleyway in Brooklyn, you know, several years ago, I believed I was a failure. I believed, like, I couldn't do anything right. I believed that everything I touched just fell apart because that's kind of what my life had been through the previous year. That belief never would have gotten me any further. I had to choose. After that moment, after my meltdown, after, you know, I crashed and burned, I had to choose to have faith in myself. And I invite you, wherever you are in your business, whatever struggle you're up against, I invite you to invest some energy in having faith in yourself, because I know you can do this. I know that you have it in you. All right? And if it's faith, if it's having hope, if it's just a sense of this better work, trusting yourself will be the best investment of energy that you've ever made in your life. There are a few different ways that you can show trust in yourself. There's investing in your business, investing in help, showing yourself. I trust you enough to make this investment worth it. That's what it was for me when I was in, like, the worst financial ruin of my life. I still made the investment to work with a coach. That's one way you can double down. You can double down and you can just make this happen. And honestly, like, having faith and trust in yourself is not easy, people. One of the things that will get you through any hard part in your business, and I'm speaking to a couple loved ones out there, is having business besties. I literally just got off a zoom with one Kelsey Letko. She's just one of my business besties. We've been leaning on each other and been friends for a long time. We went to coach training together. Your business Besties are going to remind you of everything that you're here to accomplish, of all the things that you've done. They're going to remind you of all the good that you do, and they're going to call you on your bullshit. Because here's what you got to stop doing. You have to stop the bullshit wheel spinning work that isn't taking you anywhere, okay? You have to stop cold dming people just hoping and praying that maybe someone will be like, oh, they look nice. Yeah, maybe I'll hop on a call with them. You got to stop that. You have to stop the strategies that you heard from some business guru somewhere that told you it worked for them and it worked for millions of other people, so you should do it, too. If it's not working for you and you've already shown yourself that it doesn't work for you, you have to stop doing it. Okay? It is not going to serve you any further. Okay? Full permission here. Okay? Starting a business. So here's. Here's what we're framed up for in our school lives, right? Especially in the United States, is that you study and you do a lot of work, and then you take a test, and if you studied well enough the test, you're going to pass it and you get a grade and you move on. Doesn't happen in business. You can study, you can prepare, you can work so, so, so, so, so, so, so hard. And still there will be programs that you roll out in your business that flop, that don't go anywhere. You can do anything, everything absolutely right. And the timing could be weird. There could be a pandemic that happens. You know, there could be some national emergency that happens. Like you have so much stuff that. That is outside of your control. Don't be married to anything. I had, I had someone come to my Brave Biz labs call a few weeks ago who had put together this course for teachers and had had two people sign up and pay for it, and no one else had signed up for since then. And she was wondering, how do I do this? And it's like, well, you know, sometimes the market speaks. Sometimes the market speaks. And, you know, that's that and that's okay. There, there's no shame in something not working. There's no shame in putting something out there and, you know, having it not go well. This is why we keep putting things out there. We don't stop. If you launch a webinar and no one signs up for it, great, launch another one. And if that one doesn't hit home with anyone. Then launch another one and another one and another one. We just keep going. Fail fast, people. Okay? It's easier to fail fast, though, when you have some fucking faith in yourself. All right? So this is my invitation to you. Have some faith that you can do this. And hello from Algeria. Hi, Rada. Have some faith in yourself. And if you need someone to have some faith in you, shoot me a dm, okay? I'm here. I'm. I'm in your corner. I'm cheerleading for you. I know that you have something to offer. I know that you have people out there that you can help. And I know that you are more than you give yourself credit for, Okay? I know that there's something inside you. There's something bigger inside you, that if you're just brave enough, you're gonna completely blow your life out of the water. You're gonna change everything for yourself and for your family and for your community. But you just gotta stop being such a weenie about it. Okay? So anyway, here's your homework. Believe in yourself. Stop with the BS work. Go watch what we do in the shadows. Tell me how you like it, and have an amazing Tuesday. Rada, Paul, thank you for joining, and I'm Katie McManus, business strategist and money mindset coach. I will be going live with you again tomorrow and every day for the rest of this month, because that's my goal. I hope you have an amazing night, everyone. And good luck in having faith in yourself. Know that I have full faith in you. Okay, Bye, everyone.