When Finding Clients Drains You

Oh, Hello. I'm Katie McManus, business strategist and leadership coach. Happy Saturday, everyone. Coming to you live from Philadelphia, we are. Today's the 8th of October. What other pieces of information can I give you? I have had a really nice morning. I, I'm in this trauma of money course and so I actually did a co working session with a bunch of my participants. My, my colleagues are in it and we got a lot done. We got a lot of our homework done. And it's interesting being a coach who works on money stories with my clients to be going this deep into my own money stuff. There's a lot that comes up and it's really interesting because here's the thing, coaches can only take their clients as far as they have been themselves. Okay? So I cannot wait to bring all this work to my clients. It's just so inspiring. Very confronting, but it's also incredibly necessary work. Anyway, that's not what we're talking about today. I had this amazing question from one of the participants from my Brave Biz Lab call yesterday. If you're not familiar with what Brave Biz Lab is, it's a call I do every Single Friday at 11am Eastern and it's a free group coaching and strategy call. So if you have a business or if you're wanting to start one, you can tune in and you can literally ask any question that you have or, or bring up any challenge you're facing in your business and I will give you some advice, I'll put you in the direct right direction and you can go from there. And it's 100% free. This is honestly just a way I get to give back to my world. It's also kind of a lazy webinar, so. And it's a great example of what I'm going to talk about today. So it's a lazy webinar in that like, I don't prepare for it. I really don't. Like, I have automated emails that remind my list that it goes on. My social media manager reminds me to post about it and we just go from there. But anyway, this question that was asked yesterday was about how to get clients. Like in the process of getting clients, like, I want you to imagine there are a few different stages. Okay. So I like to talk about the client journey. So the client journey, everyone starts off as a stranger. They have no idea who the we are, right? They don't know. Like they've never seen us before. They don't know our name. They have no idea what we do. And they go from being a stranger to becoming a fan. And they become a fan by seeing content that we provided, by meeting us in real life, by being introduced to us and getting a sense of like, what it is that we're useful for, right? So they become a fan and at the point they're a fan, they start to kind of track us in the world. Like anytime they notice something that we're doing or we pop up in their newsfeed on, on social media or maybe we're actually in the news. This can work for actual famous people too. I don't know. Like, if you ever watch a movie and you just like, are like, oh my God, that one actress is so talented, and then you kind of start tracking her as she shows up in other things. So you become a fan. Now this is, this is the goal of every small business, right? Is you go from being, having fans to having them feel like you or your brand is a friend, friend of theirs, right? So it's usually they've crossed that line of like, oh, I like their stuff too. Wow, this person gets me. This person understands me on a really, really deep level. Hi, Stephen Doyle from Dublin. Happy Saturday evening. I hope you're having so much fun. I hope you're doing something far, far more exciting this Saturday night than just hanging out watching my life. But anyway, so they've come across your stuff and they feel like you de. Understand them and they feel very comfortable with you and, and you, you can actually have people out there who are experiencing this with you and you will never know that they even exist because this is all happening on their end as they're watching your stuff, not commenting, not liking, not DMing you, and certainly not booking a call with you. Now the key here is to get people from friend to, to client, right? So this is the point. This is the point where most people think the lead gen happens, right? They're like, oh God, like I have to, I have to go and I have to find people and I need them to book a sales call with me to become my client. And that's actually not where it exists. It doesn't exist there at all. It actually exists for far earlier on in the stranger to fan phase, right? Because you have to give people a reason to understand why you're useful to them, right? Why should they start tracking you in the world? You know, what useful thing are they giving you? You're a massive mega death fan. I love that. Thanks, Stephen. I think we can say we're friends at this point. Leandro. Hi. And Everyone. Oh, from Sao Paulo. Oh my gosh. We're really hitting a bunch of contin today. This is so exciting. So anyway, so your, your lead gen is not just you getting appointments with people. I know you get a lot of DMS in your inbox saying, hey, you know, we book appointments for you. And I wish it were that simple. I wish you were that simple. And actually, okay, I'm gonna. There are five steps in the client journey. So the stranger, fan, friend. By the way, people can also be your friends, even if they're not your ideal clients. Okay. They can just feel really connected to you. Like you get them and they'll never become your client because you don't do something that's useful to them. Okay? So that actually also happens. Then you have client, they've paid for your services. And then the final step is super fan. Absolute super fan. Like they are just like all for this. Oh, I'm sorry, and I misspoke. It's. It's stranger follower. My brain is not, not connected today. Stranger, follower, friend, client, super fan. Anyway, which super fan, that's what Stephen Doyle is. And Samuel Good. And from Nigeria. Oh my God. So we have Africa, we have Europe, we have South America. I'm in North America. Where. What other continents do we have? Thank you for joining everyone. Anyway, so a lot of people think that they have to really like jump in and like get people talking to them and share vulnerably and book content column, blah, blah, blah. And I think they can jump into that friend phase super, super fast. Right? Really? You don't get to do that. You don't get to. This is one of the reasons that cold DMing people and cold emailing people is so ineffective, right? Because you're going from stranger trying to get them to be a client. You're skipping two really important relationship building steps. Okay, So I just wanted to start there. So you kind of understand why I'm describing it this way, right? Because we're not, we're not just trying to go out. Well, some people are. Some people are just going out trying to get the client because they need the money and that's that. But if you're wanting a business that is relationship based, which I think a lot of people who tune into my channel are kind of that person. You really value relationships with others. You really value helping people being a value, having an impact on your community. You. You really do have to start earlier on than that get on the call with me phase. And so DMing people, cold DMing people really doesn't work. It really doesn't work. It actually undercuts all the trust you could have had if you just, like, let them experience you first and follow you and then eventually become a friend and then realize, holy shit, I think. I think I need to work with this person. The process I'm talking about takes longer, but the clients that you get out of it are far more dedicated to the work. They're more loyal to you, they do the work, they're really, really committed. And so it's really better in the long run. So I want to. So the question that was asked in Brave Biz labs yesterday. Sorry, this is a very, like, roundabout way of answering this one question was, one of the participants is on Instagram. They're trying to get clients. They're, like, interacting with people and then DMing them, seeing if they could use their services. And this one person was saying that they're doing this, and it just is feeling super draining because one of the things that they really enjoy is that feedback that, like, actual in person being around other humans. And how do you get to that when you don't have any clients yet, right? How do you get that. That to fill your cup when you don't have any clients to fill your cup, give you that energy, and then go out and get more clients? My answer is, A, I don't like that tactic for getting clients, and I just explained why, but B, is that do, like, get clients. The way that fills you up, you know, if. If cold messaging is the thing that fills you up and makes you feel inspired and happy and like, you're just gonna go get them, like, okay, great, I've never met someone like that. But, you know, if that person exists, please go and do that. Right? Because here's the thing that we. We jump over is that the words that we use and everything is done through words, right? The words that we use carry energy. They really do carry energy. And so when you're sending words to people, either in video form or a voice recording or written words, what you're doing is you're transmitting energy to them. If you're super bored with how you're doing this, guess what's getting transmitted to them? Just boredom. And like, oh, I have to do this again. If you're really inspired in your energized, you're like, oh, my God, I'm so excited I get to send this cold DM to someone to let them know that I have this, this opportunity or this service for them. This is going to be great. That's what gets translated to them. And I think this might be part of why cold dming is so ineffective, because pretty much no one feels that way anyway. But if, if your strength is really being around people, if your strength is, you know, encouraging others, holding space, being really kind, creating those relationships, then why not get clients that way? That is absolutely an option. You know, you can go to networking events, you can go to networking humans and just ask people questions and tell them what you're up to and who you serve and the results you help people get. And go from there. You can do what I do on Fridays. I do the Brave biz labs at 11am every Friday, 11am Eastern. And literally it's a lazy webinar, but it really is that kind of soft touch. If people are curious about me, they maybe are kind of thinking about maybe working with me, but aren't ready to get on a sales call yet. It's a very low pressure environment for them to come and see at least how I interact with other people. Oftentimes it's really sweet. Like, people will come and it'll be their first time and they're not ready to talk yet. And one of the things that I hold in that space is like, if, like participation is voluntary, you know, you don't even have to have your camera on if you don't want to. If you just want to listen and learn from the questions that other people are asking and the answers I'm giving, that is absolutely okay. But you as a business owner, if you're trying to get clients, I'm really, I love holding spaces like that. My Brave Biz Labs. That fills my cup, inspires me, gives me so many ideas. Obviously I'm going live about it right now for the remainder of my week and just keeps me going. You get to figure out a way to get clients in a way that fills you up in a similar fashion. Okay, I don't like whatever that is for you. There is a way to reverse engineer it into getting clients out of it. Yeah, I mean, that's it. Like, I'm not, I'm not like preaching anything super complicated here. Like, if you really enjoy one on one conversations, there's a way to create one on one conversations with people and then inspire them to either become your client or refer people that they know to become your client. If you really enjoy group environments, then there's a way to, you know, join groups and get clients that way. If you really enjoy holding spaces and hosting spaces and teaching, you know, there's a way to do that. What I feel so sad for when I start working with someone who's been trying at their business for a while and really struggling is that they really believe that there's only one right way to do it. There's this way, and, like, it got taught to them once, and they're told, okay, well, it's this way or the highway. And they're doing it, and they're doing it, and they're doing it, and they're not getting any results, obviously, because it's miserable for them. And they start making up this story about themselves, that they're just not meant to succeed here, that this is just not going to work for them, that it'll work for other people who have this magic gift, but they don't have the magic gift, and it's never going to happen for them. That's not the truth. That's not the truth. And it's one of my fucking favorite things to do with my clients, is to deconstruct that bullshit first and foremost and really design, like, what are your strengths? What are the things that you love doing? What are the things that really fill you up? And how can we construct that so it can get you some clients? Obviously, this takes work. Obviously it takes some trial and error. Obviously it takes, you know, putting yourself out there in a way that you might not have done so before. But if my clients are game for it, I'm game for it. And it's the most magical thing when it actually works, when. When a client, like, really figures out the stuff that they love doing and is able to use that one thing to create. To create clients. It's the most magical thing in the world. Except for maybe, like, you know, babies, I don't know, and puppies and, like, new life. But. Yeah. So I just want to leave with this message, is that if you've been trying this one way that someone told you should work and it's not working, and you've really been giving it your all, and you're getting frustrated, you're getting down on yourself. Like, know that that is not the only way that you're. You're meant to get clients. There are a million ways. Just like there. There are infinite amount of ways for you to, like, drive from New York to San Francisco. You can absolutely chart in your course and. And have, like, different stops. You don't have to do it that way, whatever it is that's. That's making you miserable. And if you need help with this, I have some openings with my clients. I also have some openings in byob, which is my group. Build your own business group. And I'd be more than happy to hop on the phone with you to see if either one would be a fit for you or for where you are in your business. Because I know that you can do this. I know that you have it in you. There's no magic gene that makes you, like, specially able to do something like this. No, it's all skill. It's all learning and. And it's all finding what's right for you. And that's one of my favorite things to do with my clients. So if you're curious at all about that, then please DM me. I'm more than happy to set up a call to see if it's a fit and come to Brave Biz Labs on Friday. It's at 11am Eastern Standard. Every single Friday. And there's no limit to how many calls you can come to. You can come to us all of them or just one. Whatever. Whatever serves you best. Anyway, I'm gonna say goodbye to all my people all around the world. Samuel, Leandro, and Steven. Next time we have to find someone in Asia, in the Middle East. Let's see, where else? Australia. We need a couple other continents here, here, guys. But you. I mean, you showed up. You got us covered for so much of the world. This is so exciting. Thank you for joining. I'm Katie McManus, business strategist and leadership coach. I'm going to be on with my Saturday, which is going to involve a lot of cleaning and laundry. Wish me luck. Anyway, have a great weekend, everyone, and I'll talk.