A comedian's satirical five-step guide to staying average at sports: ignore nutrition, skip sleep, avoid speed work, do flashy exercises instead of fundamentals, train only when you feel like it. The real lesson comes from watching an Olympian neighbor do the opposite.
Here's my 5-step guide to being a very average athlete. Step number 1: don't pay attention to your nutrition. Step number 2: make sure you're going to bed late. Step number 3: don't do speed training. Step number 4: when you do go to the gym, just make sure that you're doing a ton of like fancy stuff that feels cool instead of like the boring old fundamental work. And step number 5: only do things when you feel motivated to do them. I have a neighbor who's an Olympian and one of the best athletes in the world. He pays attention to his nutrition. He goes to bed on time, he lifts very intentionally at the gym, and he does things even when he doesn't feel like doing them. Now, if you don't want that and you're trying to be an average athlete, stick to my 5-step guide and you're guaranteed to be average.
