Episode 13: The Power of Words

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Foreign welcome to another episode of K12 Education Untangled. My name is Dr. Kim Fields, former corporate manager turned educational researcher and advocate, and I'm the host of this podcast. I got into this space after dealing with some frustrating interactions with school educators and administrators, as well as the micro discriminations that I faced while raising my two kids who were in the public school system. I really wanted to understand how teachers were trained and what the research provided about the challenges of the public education. Sister if you're looking to find out more about the current topics in education that could affect you or your children, then you're in the right place. In today's episode, I'll be getting real by discussing the Power of our Words. You are an interruption to my life. You are an interruption to my life. You are an interruption to my life. These words were repeatedly said to me by my husband in an argument he initiated recently. This is not something appropriate, uplifting or encouraging for me, someone who has been dealing with a chronic health issue for the past 10 years, one in which my mobility is severely hampered and for which sometimes I need assistance to perform some of my daily tasks. Yes, for the moment, he is my caregiver. And yes, I recognize the work that's involved in being a caregiver, having been a caregiver and single mom to young children for several years. But those words should never be spoken to anyone. If you get to the point where you are so frustrated, so angry, so resentful that these are the feelings that you're feeling, then it's time to take a step back, take a break, take a time out before the words that are uttered cannot be taken back. The impact of those words damaged the relationship to the point where there's no coming back. I'm a person who's very intentional about the words that I say, and that experience, one by the way of several over the past few years led me to reflect on the power of words. Here are the five areas that I'll be focusing on. 1. Words can set the tone. 2. Words are our wand and our bond. The impact of words is long remembered. Words hold the power of life and death. Choose your words wisely. Let's start with number one. Words can set the tone. The vibration of words is energy. You know that feeling when you walk into a room after two people have had an argument and just feel the charged energy in the room. Words set that tone, that feeling. Words communicate an emotion and how they are said. It's what's in our hearts that gets expressed through our mouths. Words that are communicated from the doctor, for example, can set the tone for hope or despair. It's important for health practitioners to understand the impact of their words on their patients. They can communicate even life or death, especially when it comes to health and healing. It is a poor practitioner who indicates to a patient that there's nothing they can do after giving them a diagnosis. There's always something that they can do. It may be out of their purview and out of their comfort zone. In the very least, they can offer hope because there's always hope. And the power of hope is real. Number two. Words are our wand and our bond. Words are a wand, like a wand.

That you wave over a certain situation.

That brings into existence or what we have stated. For example, if you say you catch a cold every winter, then you'll catch a cold every winter. If, on the other hand, you state that I am healthy and well in every way, then you have a high probability of coming through the cold and.

Flu season without any illness.

This is more than just embracing positivity. It's about understanding that the universe responds to what we express. It's about believing what you say will come to pass. If you believe and state out loud that you do well on the test and you prepare appropriately for that test, then you will do well on that test. I'm speaking in terms of realistic expectations because no matter how much you say that you want a million dollars year and you have no skills and no goals, then the likelihood of making that million dollars is pretty low. This is about being reasonable. Words are also our bond. This involves honoring and following through with what we said we would do. It's both annoying and frustrating to have someone tell you that they're going to do something or that they'll come by or they'll help you with something and they don't honor their word. This builds a lack of trust. Follow through on what you said you would do. It's how you honor your word. It shows people that you are dependable and trustworthy, that they can rely on you to follow through because you honored your word. Biblically, God said, let there be light, and there was light. This is a clear and perfect example of not only honoring a word, but but also the power of words. 3. The impact of words is long remembered. How often do you remember the things that were said in childhood, both negatively and positively? They're both remembered. When a parent, teacher or friend says something positive to you about you, you hold that dearly and remember it for a very long time. You treasure it and incorporate it into your mental mindset, your conscious awareness. On the other hand, when someone says something negative to you, you remember that for a long time. Also, a parent can say, you'll never amount to anything or other statements along this line, and you remember that well into adulthood. It doesn't mean that you have to fulfill what was said, but it may take quite a bit of work to overcome that negative expression of who they perceive you to be with the words that they uttered. My husband, who is in his mid-70s, still deals with negative words and experiences from his childhood, yet he makes no effort to overcome or dismiss those experiences. He just stays in this constant cycle of rehash, rehearse, relive, repeat. Teachers can also express negative words to students in their classes. They can say things to the child that would have him or her belief that they are incapable of learning, that they're slow to learn, and other statements along this line. These words can be remembered for a very long time. It can thwart a child's self confidence and promote low self esteem. Negative words can be spoken by co workers and supervisors in the workplace. I remember a situation in which I had a manager who spoke negatively about my particular IT skills. I challenged him on why he felt the way that he felt, and he didn't really have any substantive facts to support his assertion. In fact, the male co workers in my department respected my ability and skills and supported my inputs and feedback. I didn't let what my manager said about my skills affect my abilities to do my job at a very high level. In fact, I guess because of the way that I challenged him to provide evidence of his perspectives, he would provide excellent annual reviews on my performance reviews, probably because he knew that I would challenge his assessment if he did otherwise. If negative words are set in anchor, the person who said the words needs to apologize immediately and if the relationship was damaged, do all that's necessary within his or her power to restore the relationships. Negative words spoken in anger are a choice. You can also choose just to remain quiet. The fourth part of this thought process on the power of words is that words hold the power of life and death. The Bible states that we hold the power of life and death without tongue. Anita Mojani and Deborah Potterman, among many others, have spoken about the words that were said to them in the middle of a health crisis. In these two specific situations, a medical practitioner gave prognosis that immediately conveyed fear. If that practitioner had just conveyed hope, encouragement, and possibility in the way that Dr. Lyssa Rankin teaches, then these two women would have felt hopeful and confident from the beginning instead of having to go through unnecessary turmoil. There is so much power and hope. Both Anita and Deborah survived their situations and wrote a book about it or spoke about it so that we could all learn the lesson of the power of birth given by a medical practitioner, whether it is a doctor, a nurse, a nurse practitioner, or an alternative medical professional. The fifth part of this discussion on the power of words is to choose your words wisely. Words spoken in anger demonstrate a lack of emotional maturity. Before any more inappropriate words are spoken that could cause irreparable damage to the relationship, the best policy is to take a timeout so that you can regroup. Choosing words wisely involves emotions Emotional Maturity Quite simply, emotional maturity is about understanding and managing your emotions. It's an ongoing process, not a particular stage or state that you reach and then you're done. It involves being flexible, knowing that things will not always go according to plan. It involves learning and growing from every opportunity, as well as being resilient in the face of setbacks, disappointments, or upsets. Emotionally mature people tend to have a calm disposition and when they do get upset, they don't let their emotions dictate their response. Emotionally mature people recognize that we are all on the learning curve and that we are all in different places places on that learning path. That's why they tend not to take life too seriously and they have great fun and laughter on life's journey. There's a great transformational book about conscious language by Robert Tennyson Stevens that is excellent for upgrading your word choices. Once you recognize that the words you speak become self fulfilling prophecy, I highly.

Recommend reading this book.

Here are a couple of closing thoughts. Words are the quantum templates of health, peace and relationships. Be careful about the words you choose to express because negative words can't be taken back. Some people are careless, even flippant about the words that they use because words have no meaning to them, no value. The truth of the matter is that words do have value. They are spoken with an intention either to hurt or harm or to uplift and encourage. It is a choice and all choices have consequences. Be ready to accept accept the consequences of using negative, derogatory and demeaning hurtful words. If that's the road you decide to travel. What would you speak this day, life or death? I usually end these personal podcasts with either a mantra or a joke because I love surrounding myself with positive thoughts and words. And I also like a good, clean joke. Today I'm providing a story that might give you something to think about. The story is called the Cab Ride. Twenty years ago, I drove a cab for a living. One night I took a fare at 2:30am When I arrived to collect, the building was dark a except for a single light on the ground floor window.

Under these circumstances, many drivers would just honk once, wait a minute, and then drive away. But I had seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as their only means of transportation. Unless the situation smelled of danger, I always went to the door. This passenger might be someone who needs.

My assistance, I reasoned to myself.

So I walked to the door and knocked. Just a minute, answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor. After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 80s stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like someone out of a 1940s movie. By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one.

Had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets.

There were no clocks on the wall, no knick knacks or utensils on the counters. In a corner was a cardboard box.

Filled with photos and glassware. Would you carry my bag out to the car?

She said.

I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman.

She took my arm and we walked.

Slowly to the curb.

She kept thanking me for my kindness.

It's nothing, I told her. I just tried to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated. Oh, you're such a good boy, she said when we got in the cab.

She gave me an address and then.

Asked, could you drive through downtown?

It's not the shortest way, I answered quickly.

Oh, I don't mind, she said.

I'm in no hurry.

I'm on my way to a hospice.

I looked in the rearview mirror.

Her eyes were glistening.

I don't have any family left, she continued.

The doctor says I don't have very long. I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.

What route would you like me to take? I asked. For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator. We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds she had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had done dancing as a girl. Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would just sit, staring into the darkness, saying nothing. As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, I'm tired now. Let's go. We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home with a driveway that.

Passed under a portico.

Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up.

They were solicited and intent, watching her every move.

They must have been expecting her.

I opened the trunk and took the.

Small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair. How much do I owe you? She asked, reaching into her purse. Nothing, I said. You have to make a living, she answered. There are other passengers, I responded. Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly. You gave an old woman a little moment of joy, she said. Thank you. I squeezed her hand and then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut.

It was the sound of the closing of a life. I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly, lost in thought for.

The rest of that day. I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run one, or had knocked once, honked once, and then driven away on a quick review? I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life. We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware, beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

If this is the type of subject matter and discussion that resonates with you, please subscribe to my podcast or whatever service you're listening to this. Also, I'd love to hear from you. So please leave me a comment or a review and share this episode with anyone that you think would find it valuable. Be sure to tell your friends, family, and community about my podcast. Thanks for listening today. I hope you'll come back for more K12 educational discussions with even more exciting topics to untangle. By the way, if you have a burning question about a current issue or a specific topic that you'd like for me to cover and explore, shoot me a quick email at kimiberation through education.com to let me know what your question is.

Be sure to stay tuned for the.

Next episode of my podcast, in which I'll be discussing the School Choice initiative. Until next time, aim to learn something new every day.

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