How To Beat Born Winners

Helping me today is going to be Dave Kaitan. Hello, David. Hello, David. Let's talk about myths a little bit. The topic is the top 10 myths about winners and the one identified for my purposes as number 10 born winners. And the idea is, we hear so many of these things about other people, about the world that are ingrained in our psyche. There's not going to be anything in life that naturally occurs that causes you to have these doorstops, these mental barriers naturally removed. You've got to go in and remove them one by one. And you'll either do it by necessity because you're running for your life, you're trying to survive, and you just throw out the things that are holding you back, or you work through it, because step by step, you run into problems and you start analyzing. Because when you have these in your mind, these myths that hold you back and you think, why should I knock myself out? When really the cards are stacked against me and in favor of people who, for one thing, they were born better than me. They were just born with more. Here's what I'm talking about. Well, number one, seem to be a little smarter or a lot smarter. Things come easier to them. They're better looking. We were on YouTube this week, and I ran across from Scotland a young boy singer. I mean, this guy can just knock you off your feet. And he was like 8 or 10 years old when he did his first YouTube video. And. And so they've got more talent. There's one that I'm thinking of right now. A little girl at 5 and 6 years old, so good with painting. She has her paintings in museums in New York. Her paintings sell for $150,000 because she's just that good. They discovered it early. Where does this come from? And so you say, why should I even start painting? And so what do you do with all these people? Smarter, better looking, more talent, more. More athletic. All of y' all who have kids, and you take them out to the soccer, the football, the baseball, the swimming, there's always some kid out there that just blows everybody else away, or several of them. He's like, here, I got my poor little spastic kid. You know, I just feel sorry for him. And so how do you compete with these that overall, right from birth, are just better? They're just better. That's a myth that you got to get past. David, am I making this up, or is this something that we have at least from time to time in the back of our mind?

Yeah. And, Coach, you can add to that list. I'M too old, I'm too young. I'm not a people person. There's a lot of internal conversation that I hear all the time. I used to do the same thing and you helped me so much. Realizing that no one is better than.

You, it might give them an advantage.

In the start, you know, because it comes natural to them.

The idea is you got work to do, you got miles to cover. It's going to be a lot easier if you don't have to lug around a bunch of unnecessary baggage. In other words, you have a certain amount of repetition, certain amount of things you have to do to get good at everything. But you don't have to carry these phony ideas and these misconceptions around with you. That makes everything you do that much harder. So that's what we're trying to do, is throw some of the mental baggage off your back. I was always a natural leader, but in the sales world, I was a total dud. I mean, that was totally foreign to me. Couldn't sell anything. And it keeps you humble. If you work that great to begin with and you're well aware of it before you get started. Not so much if it holds you back from even trying because you say, well, if I can't be perfect, I won't even try. You should always be on the attack. The way you find these things is you constantly stay on the attack. You never stay passive. When you're passive, it's because you're saying, why bother? Why try? It's never going to happen to me. You got to get past that because that's not going to get you where you want to go. Anything that's standing between you mentally and allowing yourself to get on the attack. In other words, to get an answer, if you're no good at something, recruit somebody or hire somebody to help you do whatever it is or find someone who can explain it to you. People who seem to pick up stuff quicker than you, that seems to be something from birth, they're just going to have an easier thing in life. But here's the trouble with brains. You have as many people homeless with genius level IQs as you have high achieving. Here's the trouble with braids, you're too smart. Art used to always talk about this. He said, you know what? The smart guys, the guys with all the degrees. Because he says what they do is they overthink and they underact. Have you ever recruited an ex CEO? You give them one simple thing to do and rather than focus in on that and try and Perfect that and do it. They start thinking, what's wrong with it? How you could improve it. There are other things you need. And they're fumbling and stumbling in their minds all this rather than just doing the one simple thing that you show them work. And that's because their brain just will not allow them. You got to get past this point of worrying about, you know, if you could figure stuff out quicker and everything, it would make your life so much easier. And if you could remember more stuff, David, jump in here.

What do you.

What do you say?

I know one of the things that I had was trying to be perfect, to make sure that I do it once and I never have to do it again and spend so much time planning it out that you never actually get going because it's just never perfect. But if you look at what version of iPhone we're on, what if they waited for the perfect version? And what I've realized just from working with you on all these other projects is yes, you put in the time to plan it out, but at a certain point, you just gotta go with it, and then you can make adjustments along the way. That's working well, because I remember not feeling. Feeling like I can't be the number one recruiter in this company. I can't be the number one. And now we have the number one rep, the number one in the whole company, number one division, number one district, number one regional. And it's like you get stronger and stronger, and it's a different conversation in my head because we don't have to be perfect. We just got to go, and we'll get better as we go.

Well, you know, that's the paralysis by analysis type thing you hear. Instead of these kind of failure tendencies, you move over to a waiting approach where you get a basic plan and go. You know, you want to get to where you convinced it or at least has a shot at working. You know, you work it out in your mind, but then at some point, you got to go, go, go. When you go, you go with massive action. And what happens is massive action activates the law of averages in your favor. So you can't. They can't all say no because massive action actually activates. The first thing it activates is the law of. Well, it is the law of high numbers. And the law of high numbers actually guarantees you success. High numbers moves you from working with individuals to working with masses. And when you work with the masses, you're always guaranteed a certain percentage of success. You know, it's just like you can put anything in any store in America, sooner or later, somebody will come along and buy it. If you have people walk into that store, you are going and talking in front of large numbers of people. They're not going to all be stupid, they're not going to all be hesitant, they're not all going to be dumb. You're going to run across people who will buy, but you're not going to get it unless you take massive actions. And so if you have something that basically will work with most people, that's going to allow you to make the sales, get the recruits, have the success, whatever field you're in with the ones who are predisposed to do business with you. But along the way, it gives you time where you're going through the numbers of all the people who say no from a variety of reasons. That gives you ideas of how to improve your presentation, how to refine it, what questions people ask that you need to make sure you cover in your presentation so you can solve the objection in advance. That's one aspect of this right here that is never really brought out. You hold yourself back because, well, you know, I'm analyzing, I'm trying to get the perfect plan. I'm not sure if I'm good enough. You're sitting in your bunker thinking and humming and hawing. That holds you back from the thing that's going to allow you to success, and that is massive action and activity, activating the law of high numbers. If you do it right, you should have enough activity where you're going to make more money. And while you're learning and perfecting, you can make money and have success and still be perfecting what you're doing. And so, Dave, am I saying it right? Yep.

Also creating an environment where it's okay to fail. Like not being punished because you tried, but being encouraged to keep trying and paying attention to what works and what doesn't work, and then just getting better because of the environment that you've created for us. It made me not afraid to go out there and give it my all. That it was like, you know, I don't want to give it my all because what if I fail? You know, it's like, eliminate that as an excuse. It's okay, you can fail. Go ahead, just go for it and let's see where it comes out. That environment where it's okay to fail, encouraging it to go ahead, go try, go give it everything you got.

Not just don't give it a little.

Bit everything, go ahead, go for it. A whole go for number one, like giving me permission to go for it. That has also helped a lot because I didn't, you know, that that helped me with my natural personality of, oh my God, what if I fail? What if, what if I give it everything I got and I fail and then I find out I'm really no good at it? Nah, I got that permission to go for it. And that, that helped.

Yeah. Hey, Julian, just to kind of go.

Back, there's people that I have that obviously overanalyze, overthinking. They're smart, but their heart is in the right place. They do want to win and they want to win in this business. But they do have those, you know, I see it that they get paralyzed because of not wanting to make a mistake and doing those things. How do I coach that? How do I get them to start changing?

The fact that you have some good hearted, smart people doesn't make them any different than everybody else. So the thing is, you've got to put them to work now. If they will not work, there's nothing you can do for them. If they've been in a while, make a deal with them. They can get a promotion, run a contest. If they do this, that and the other. But send them to a Hampton Inn for the weekend, Let them take themselves and their kids, have a cookout at your house, have a breakfast club meeting, have something exclusive. They can go have breakfast if they do this, that and the other. Some kind of incentive to get them this lot and get them thinking something doable too. And then the other thing is, go with them. You put that out there and you say, you need me to help get you started, I'll help you. You want to qualify for this thing, it's time for you to win something. It's time for you to get something to get in this side of it. I'll help you do it. So you work with them. What unleashes them is just like a kid. They have to convince themselves they're good enough because that will cause them to do it when you're not looking. So what, you want to have some kind of legitimate success. What that breeds is real confidence. The confidence that only comes from accomplishment. So it's important to get them to see a guess, to get a paycheck, and then you celebrate it. And all of a sudden now they start changing their image of themselves. It's just like everything new, you got to go through the emotional adjustment. The first house that we bought had nine or ten foot ceilings. It's like a two Story colonial in the Greensboro. Nice house. But when I walked into that thing the first time, I've been living in little three bedroom houses my entire life. You and little small tiny ceilings. And I walked in and was like, wow, I'm still outside. I looked up there, the ceilings way up there. It's like, wow. My body had to get used to that. It's like, is it all right for me to live in a house like this? And pretty soon, you know, I got used to it. Yes, it was all right. I paid $250,000 to join the Trump Golf Club in 2003. I guess I had to force myself to go there the first time through the gate and meet everybody and get acquainted and get used to it because it's like awkward first time fish out of water. But then once you do it, it's easy. There's nothing more complicated than what you're doing here. They just haven't experienced it. You've got to do the things to push them out into new worlds. And then they find out, hey, it's a pretty good thing people are nice here. I'm comfortable here. I like it here. That's the whole idea of expanding them. So don't look like that's something new. It's not like, how can I do it in the right. Stop with this fragile flower thing. Get it done. A lot of this stuff, you've got to get your butt to be somebody who can make crap happen. At some point you got to go. Don't worry about doing it perfect. Just get it done, buddy. What would you do if you're a high school football coach and you have a 300 pound kid, schistled, athletic, he comes out with a football team, wants to play, nice guy, everybody loves him. But then he's late to practice. He won't really run around the field. You know, you have a thing. Everybody runs around the field. They do their calisthenics to get started. Well, he's always dragging around, everybody's waiting for him. And then the next day, he doesn't even show up at all. And sorry, coach, what do you do? You throw his butt off the team. You know, it doesn't matter his potential if he's got no go power, what can you do? Say, son, come back when you're ready to play football. That's what we do. We play football anyway. David, you got something on that.

Yeah. As you were talking, I was thinking about the more exposure that you can give them to the winners. Like activity and exposure are probably the two most important ingredients in gaining confidence. And the more exposure I got to the big hitters, the heavy hitters in the company, I started to realize they ain't perfect either. They got as many flaws. They're just as normal. If you cut them, they bleed. They just got a bigger team or they just got more done because, you know, they were a little bit more focused than I was. And as I began to realize, they.

Are just like me. They're just no different.

But like you said, you got to get that confidence to go and meet them and talk to them. So that's another thing that you can do is get them exposed. It's caught, you catch. Thing you're going to catch is, nobody's better than me. They put their pants on the same way.

Yeah. And sometimes it takes time, but you got to get results. And so you got to find people. You can afford to do that kind of work as long as you have your team moving. But you can't have a team full of people who are in this developmental stage where maybe they might go to work next summer. You got to focus in on the people that are working now. You know, at some point, you got to pull your own little red wagon and make a contribution. Okay, I think that's got it. Thank you very much.