How To Go From Can't To Can

We're talking about you today. We're talking about winning, and we're talking about getting mentally organized for success. And one of the big things is how to stop yourself from feeling sorry for yourself. We can talk about where that comes from. George Orwell has a quote. Myths that are believed in tend to become true. We're born in a cocoon. We're not aware of it. So many of those reactions and impressions we have about winning and about life are formed in us as we grow up. See, I didn't know I was born in a cocoon. It wasn't just me, it's all of us. You get your opinions about life, what's important and what's not important. Do people talk about the future? They talk about just surviving. What are their beliefs, priorities, things like that. You don't even know it. But what's good and what's bad? This comes to us from our cocoon. We're helpless. We grow up, it becomes part of it. It's just like this, folks. If you grow up in a house and they got two or three cats in there, you're going to have cat hair on you. You don't have a choice. You're not even going to notice it. You think every house is full of cat hair. That's the way it is with all these attitudes, things that shape it. You know, it's like, what is a good, bad? What is our worldview? What do we believe is important? What's important for me, what's important now? What's important to us? And it's like, who, because of all these things, who's right and wrong now? As you get older, you may and likely will go direct, diametrically opposed from the family that you grew up in. But as you're growing up, I promise you, you're thinking like they're thinking. And because of the cocoon and say also, it comes into what's possible. See, what's possible comes in there because of just what you hear from everybody. So as I went in there, I'm not saying you have a cocoon. They can be good. Most of us, compared to everybody else in the world, had a pretty good cocoon. It's not that we're complaining. It's just you need to be aware of it. It's only later you find out if it's a good one or what aspects were good or what bad, because it's the only one you have. And if the impact comes in like this. Bill Arundra. Bill had to find this out for himself. He grew up in a bunch of factory workers. They expected him to be in the factory. They told him college would be a way. In fact, when he brought up college, they said, what are you doing there for? In their mind, he's going to go to college, get a degree, come back and work in the factory. It never dawned on them that he could go to college, get a degree, and do something other than go to the factory. So, of course, when he found college, they said, what? What are you, an idiot? Wait, you don't need that kind of education to work in the pine crew. But see, Bill had seen a better way of life on tv. He had seen that people live other ways. And that got planted in his mind. So you have to be exposed. And so where all this comes in, like with me when I grew up, I get out of college, you look to the future. What am I going to do now? I played sports all the time. I played sports 12 months out of the year. Went from one sport immediately into another sport, another sport. I loved it. Business I saw as boring. My father was in the Air Force, so we didn't really know anybody. But, you know, you think job, business. No, no, wrong. Because he's thinking boring things like that. You know, you're inside an office, you can't ever get outside, you're breathing stale air, you have to dress up like a little penguin. And boring. Negative. From the cocoon I grew up in, that was the impression I had of business. I wish I'd known coming up. And so I didn't understand. Business at the highest level is competition. And even though right out of school, you might start in one of those boring positions, if you're energetic, if you're trained, if you get into it, you can move up. And at the highest level, you're calling shots. You're running a company, you're competing for a bigger market share, and all of a sudden, guess what? I'm back in sports again. That's why I stay so energized at what I do, because it's just another version of what I've done all my life. It's compete. What's the lay of the land? How much time do we have left? How can we get ahead? What's the score? Who's coming up behind us? How can we meet them? How much progress can we make? By the end of the day, if you haven't had competition training, you're going to have to learn it somewhere. And that's why some of us have an advantage coming in here. We've just got that mindset of competing and beating and looking for coming up with edges. And so it comes in with you. What do you think? See, what are you when you look at it, when you look at things good versus bad, what's good for you, bad for you, what's something you think of as a, a good goal, a bad goal. Possible, not possible. See positives and negatives. What controls you? The thing of can versus can't. What's your go to reaction when you get in a situation? See, most of us are stuck in these wrong ways, negative ways, can't do it. You know, these things like are ingrained in it. Is it worth it to me to bust my rear or not? Not worth it. Why bother? Not going to pay off for people like me. And basically, do people like me win or not? Do people like me win? Most of us have to learn that. And most of the things, the biggest impact that will happen from people reading a book, meeting a friend, listening to other high achievers, going to sporting events, going to schools or conventions where you see average and ordinary people. They say, you got to be kidding. People like me didn't win. I have this reaction when I go watch a marathon. I have an opinion. To me, if you run 26 miles, 26.3 or whatever it is, wow, you must be in some kind of wow shape, right? Low body fat, good proportions, pretty good muscular definition in your body. Go out and watch the next marathon in your area, you think you're going to see the lean and mean machines. Well, guess what you see, you see some people like this. You see some people, well, let's just say, you know, they got huge upper body, they got these little skinny legs down here, little tiny arms, big head. You just see all kinds of say, wait a minute, they ran the marathon. Look at that guy. You got to be kidding. Yep. See folks, people win. And they don't have all these preconceived ideas you might have. When we see marathoners, we watch who finishes the race first. Well, there's another million people that are going to be crossing that line. You never look at. And they ain't quite as in shape, they don't run it as fast, but they run the 26 miles. It's like watching golf on television. Everybody you see is making 10, 15. You know, the putts they show Tiger woods, He needs a 25 footer to win. Let's watch him. Yay. Tiger drains in the cup while everybody's jumping around. And then they show highlight after highlight. It looks like every Pro makes every 10, 15, 20 foot putt. They stand over. No, they don't. And here's a little clue. The reason they jumping up and down. Do you see them jump up and down like that when they make a two or three or even four footer to win? No, because they expect to make those even if it's to become the greatest golfer in the universe for the year and make $10 million if they drain a four foot putt. It's basically, you know, I'm glad I didn't choke rather than whoop dee ding dong doo. But see, they show, the announcers show these things, these over and over and over. You think? I think we all think. I could never, you know, these are guys from another planet. Could they just routinely drain these things? No, they don't. They'll make more than we make. But the reason they show those on the highlight reveal is because they don't make them all the time. So you've got to watch your preconceived ideas where these things kick in, particularly at all of your cocoon and your training and everything comes in. When you start things, you're going to start out on your own. You can't depend on the cocoon. See, this is where either you're starting and. And then the other big thing is when you finish, it comes the finish time. And of the people who got enough guts, enough drive to start, you have 98% of them get down to the last 2%. They go 98% of the way, but this last 2% gets them. And rather than quit it and win, hanging tough, say I came this way. What they do is, it's too tough, I quit. And they waste all of this effort. So all of these programming, the subtle programming you need, you can't just say yourself like a magician's gonna hypnotize you or chant every morning, I must write my goals down. And I must chant to myself, I will write my goals down. I will put it on my mirror. I will say every morning to myself, I will not feel sorry for myself. I will not feel sorry for myself. I will keep on working. I have a goal of doing this. I will not stop till. Shut up. You're not a little robot. You don't live life as a robot. Robot techniques don't work with human beings. You are a human and you're a product of your environment and your thinking and training. And the first thing about stopping, permanently, not stopping one time, what good does it? Let me say, you smoke cigarettes or any bad habit or unhealthy Habit. What good does it do to stop once or stop for a period of time? Well, what good is it going to do you to stop feeling sorry for yourself occasionally, but then later you come back and you start feeling sorry for yourself all over again. You got to get to the point where you stop feeling sorry for yourself for the rest of your life. And you can't do that if you don't understand it. But if you understand certain things, and one is a lot of that thinking, it causes you to start immediately thinking, not good enough. Instead of going out and doing this stuff, you start thinking, the reason I can't, I'm just not good enough. Why bother? I'm either not good enough at all or after I get up here and I find out the last little bit of going. Let's just say you started and you went and you got all the way up here, but you have to go a little bit further. You have this to go. You can say, wow, this is so steep. I'm so worn up, I'm never going to be able to muster it up. What are you talking about? Eat a sandwich, take a nap, go to a movie, read a book, get a new idea, get some energy, and then make a run at it and knock it. You probably run up here, do 10 or 20% more. If you're tired, you want to take a break right up here. When you're exhausted, you don't think right anyway. So if you got yourself this far, just use the same techniques. You're good enough. If you weren't good enough, you would have never made it past these stages. See, the first time you do anything, that's what we tell people in our business. Once you make one appointment, you're good enough. Once you do one, you're going to be good enough to do 10. If you can do 10, you're good enough to do 100. If you're good enough to do 100, you're good enough to do 1000. You're good enough to be financially independent doing it. You're good enough. The only question is time. How hard you work, how many PD you see, how much energy you put into it. But you've already proved you're good enough when you do one. So you got to put that behind you. But it's easier to do that if you realize there's a reason that you naturally think in critical moments, I'm not good enough. This is not something, it's not a flaw in your nature. You're not something to be blamed for, to feel bad about. No, it's programming. We all are programmed like software. You got to reprogram your mind. Do that by reading a book, going to one weekend seminar, doing one thing. It's a process. Little by little, it's a biblical process. Little by little by little. It's how flowers and plants and animals grow. It's how you grew. You got to the size you are by minute to minute, hour to hour, week to week, month to month, year to year, grew. You grew in the direction of what you were exposed to. Just like a plant in the jungle that only has light coming in from one little source over to the left is naturally going to grow up and lean left because it grows to the sun. That's the way we grow up. And so we're where we are because we have responded to our programming. And. And you realize, I'm an adult. I can reprogram myself. I get a re do. Any flaws in my programming, I can reprogram myself because I ain't that much worse off than anybody else. I've just got a few little things. Now, where this comes in is like, let's just say you start looking for a job and you got an interview. Well, here's the thing to think about when you're doing that. Realize what most people do is they get, oh, I did 10 interviews, I did 10, I got 10 no's. Woe is me. Job market is tough. There's no jobs. I don't have the training. I've either got too much experience or not the right kind of experience. I'm either too old, I'm too young, they're not paying any money. Even if I got it, I couldn't live on it. And then you go to 25, and this is 25 job interviews. And then those. It's like you become more convinced. Now, what do you act like when you do that? Let's just say if you keep on going, most people would stop. But let's just say you do 50 job interviews, you get more convinced it's impossible because you're going in with a negative attitude. Dumbbell. You've got to understand the process. And that is when you go in cold, you don't know the people. You go at batting against the odds because it's like going to Las Vegas, that Vegas and never reading. Playing blackjack. And you never read a book on blackjack. You need to know and read up a little bit on the truth about the game you're playing. Now I'm just using jobs as an example. 70% of people get Jobs from people they know, friends or friends of friends. It makes it easier. You can trust them. You don't have to do as much back research. They're likely to get along. They're our kind of people. See, Rather than go out and try and get a job, the most successful way to do it is don't interview for a job. That's the wrong way. What you want to do is interview for a friend. See if you hit it off with that person. When you go in there, somehow you find common ground. You have similar interests, you're from similar areas, you have the same number of kids. You both have a young boy, 4 years old, or you have your parents came from so and so and you know, same national. You both like fishing or something like that. See, now you got a little rapport. Now you got a little bit of a relationship. Now here's what's going to happen from that. Once you make a friend, once you get a little bit of a friendship thing, if they don't have a job, they will do their best they can to find you something. If you go into a restaurant, some people are so stupid, they go in and they treat service people like dirt. Well, when you need a favor, you think these people are going to help you out? No, they're going to help the people that are nice to them. But if you get along with this person, you don't appear desperate, in a panic and you go in there and present yourself the right kind of way. Show some interest in the interviewer. Not to be annoying, but just be friendly. See, most of the time, don't go in sad, go in positive. Go in with the idea and say, I'm probably not going to find a job. I dream, but I may find a friend. I may find a friend who will call if they don't have anything, will like me so much, see my potential. Call another friend of theirs and find something for me. Or they may call me later because they'll have me in their mind. They say, I want to help this person out. So I said, if you go out on 10 job interviews, just don't go out there negative, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Job, job, job. Be a person, smile, show some interest, have some personality, show them you're decent. Shake hands, don't look like the world is ended because you didn't get a job. Establish a little bit of relationship, Ask them for their opinion. Here's where I am. Do you have a suggestion for me? What would you do in my shoes? And also now that it's over, I'm obviously not going to get a job here. Is there anything I could have done different coming in that would have put me in a better light or given me better odds? So now you've taken them from the job interviewer and turned them into an advisor. And see this, people love to give advice. And so just an approach like that, see if you can say, I'm just, I'm slugging it out. I bitterly resent I got fired. I'm desperate. I got to do all these interviews. If that's your mindset, they're going to pick up on that when you go in for your interview. But if you go in and say, look, I've checked this out, I know 70% of the people get their jobs from people they know. I know I've only got a 30% chance of walking in off the street, so the odds are not there. But if I make a friend now I'm moving over with this person. Now I'm moving over to somebody in the 70%. Might not get it this afternoon, might not get it next week, but when I get it, it might be pretty sweet. And that's how Vanessa. Well, I won't say, but that's where some of the friends I know, some of their partners have gotten jobs, better jobs than they went interviewing for. Got it a few months later. But the person they interviewed with had wound up quitting themselves, going to work at another company and remembered them, and they called them up and hired them over the new company they went to. So the thing is, you look at this thing and you approach it with a winner's attitude, not the cocoon. Woe is me. Poor pitiful me, why am I having life has dealt me a bad blow. That might be the thinking that you came out of. But see, you can take another approach, a positive approach. Some people learn this, and if people learn this and show up with this mindset, people that are interviewing can tell.