What to Do When You Realize You Aren’t Cut out for What You Originally Intended with Jeff Love

Welcome to this episode of the Million Dollar Mastermind. I'm Larry Weidell, and let's get started. I'm here today with Jeff Love, and we're going to have some fun talking about winning in life, negotiating life not just to survive, but to overcome and thrive. Pour energy into your life to be able to stay in control no matter what rolls your way. And you can't get that kind of insight unless you talk to somebody who has done it. And so, Jeff, welcome. Thanks for taking time to speak with us.

Thank you for having me. I'm excited to be here.

Jeff, you are a partner with a law firm, Gibbs and Gidden. And but you're also, you've got a real estate. Your real estate broker in California. So you obviously have lots of interest and have had lots of experiences. So tell us how you started.

I've always wanted to be an entrepreneur. Yes, I'm a lawyer. But that's what I wanted from back, back from high school, I went to UCLA for undergrad and decided that the best thing for me is I was going to go to law school because I wanted to learn about contracts. So no one could kind of pull a fast one on me that I was able to read and understand the law and contracts, negotiate, do everything myself. So, so I could have other people do it for me, but I would always understand what was going on. So after graduating ucla, I went down to San Diego, went to law school, and really caught the kind of entrepreneurial bug even more. I wanted to do transactions. I wanted to be an entrepreneur. My main focus was I was going to be a real estate developer. I wanted to build buildings. And I knew a couple guys very, very, very wealthy. And that's what they did. They were real estate developers. So that was my goal coming out of law school. Lo and behold, there was a thing called a Great Recession. 2008, 2009, when I graduated from law school and nobody wanted to hire. You couldn't be an entrepreneur. You couldn't start businesses. It was difficult. And nobody wanted to hire a transactional attorney. And that's how I wanted to get started. I wanted to practice for a few years, learn the process, and then go off on my kind of go on my own and follow that entrepreneur spirit. But nobody would hire me. I got job offers for doing litigation and workers compensation and all these areas law that I had no interest in. So instead of doing what many of my colleagues did and just took the first job that came available to me, I networked, I met people, I made contacts, and I eventually Found my first job as an attorney working for a scrap metal and recycling company. And it was an amazing experience. It was a very successful family run business and I got to get my feet, hands wet, feet wet in everything. Negotiating contracts for them, helping them get more space, dealing with vendors, dealing with customers. And that was, that was terrific. You know, if I had just taken the first job I got, I would have never made those contacts. I would have never had that position. And from there I realized I really like real estate. You know, that's one area that I think touches every business. Whether you're, you know, you're in an office, you're an industrial space, you're a restaurant, you're dealing with real estate. So after a couple of years, I was able to move to a real estate developer who owned about 20 million square feet across the country as their first in house attorney. And there I led all their acquisitions. I did, I did leasing work for them, I worked on financing real estate, really anything and anything you could imagine with real estate. And from there my path kind of shifted a little bit. I realized I love the idea of doing it myself, but I really like actually advising clients. And I get to work with very successful people at different stages, from starting acquisitions to doing different deals. So I realized there is. I didn't want to work for one developer anymore and do different sized projects for them. I wanted to work for different clients. So I moved to my current firm, Gibbs get in, where I'm now partner and I deal primarily with transactions, both real estate and corporate. And I get to work with small entrepreneurs that are just starting their businesses up to Fortune 500 companies and the entrepreneurs that run them. So to me, I kind of get the best of all worlds. I get that entrepreneur spirit kind of working with them to help advise and build their business. But I also get to advise them from a high level and work with different clients at different stages.

Well, you know, Jeff, I run into this feedback from people listening to the podcast. Occasionally they say, you know, we listened to people and they said they went here and they, you know, know they started there and you know, it's all interesting, but I'm trying to figure out how that would apply to me and you, I ask you to, to give your background. So now that we've got the context set, which you did beautifully, could you revisit that climb? Because that's like an incredible climb already, you know, just to get up to where you're a partner with a major law firm dealing with, advising, consulting major real estate developers and so every talk about that, the things you went through, you know, like, not everybody who applies to UCLA gets in ucla. And then there's the little item of the expense and then the little item of grades and actually persevering. Not everybody who gets into law school graduates, much less passes the bar. I mean, all of these steps you went through, was this easy for you? Did you come from a background where all of these things were easy for you? Did you run into any robots? At what point did you start to find out who Jeff was? You know, because obviously there's some, you know, everybody who is a successful has some fight in them, has some, I won't back down spirit in there, you know, and it's a matter of when you get out in life, the best thing, you know, when you're bored, they slap you to get, you know, yeah, the baby comes in the world. Oh, great. And then all of a sudden they're getting slapped if they don't breathe on their own, the first breath, because they know we got to get air in those lungs, so we got to shock them to it, you know. And if you get out in the world, a lot of times you have some things happen to you that'll knock you around to challenge you. But the good thing about that is it wakes up your fighting spirit is like, no, I'm not going to accept. No, I don't want that. Yes, that's what I want. And where did you feel like yourself? You really. And people try to just learn formulas and listen to things. If you don't go through this thing where you really wake up and you start to dig into who you really are and at least begin to tap into your core internal motivation, you're not going to be worth a crap because you're not going to. Whatever you start, you're not going to finish because you haven't got it even clear to yourself that this is something that I want bad enough to fight for it. So where did you early on start getting. Going out there and realizing, you know, pursuing things. We all pursue what. What's out there. But how did you deal with some of those early experiences?

For me, I think there were two main points. You know, one was in college, trying to figure out which way I wanted to go. And originally, you know, when I first got into college, ucla, I kind of wanted, you know, I thought about being a doctor and I, you know, I had probably my first failure. I couldn't do the chemistry classes that were required for, you know, the undergraduate biology kind of major. I was Just getting really poor grades and. And it was disheartening. I realized, you know, that probably wasn't the right fit for me. I don't think I have the steady hands required to be a surgeon. I don't have the aptitude for the chemistry and the formulas. And frankly, I just realized I liked business better. I took accounting classes. I did very well. I took constitutional law, and that was my best class ever without even trying very hard. I remember one class, we took a test, and obviously 100% is all correct, and there's one extra credit question. And I looked on the board, they showed kind of the scale of the grades, and one person got 101 out of 100. He passed out the tests, and that was me out of a class of several hundred people. And I realized this fits. You know, this is something that I was really good at. I got my C minus in chemistry, and here I was better than 100%. Maybe this is the right fit. So that's what kind of got me on the bug to go to law school and really take that path. And have I given up, you know, or just gotten discouraged? I don't think I would have found that right path. Yeah, the other big one for me is, you know, when I graduated, there weren't many jobs. So that was. That was really discouraging. I mean, I could tell you throughout the course of my career so far, I at least applied to 100, 150 law firms in a time when they weren't hiring. I sent unsolicited resumes. And there was a time before I got my first job where I had a stack of maybe 200 rejection letters. And I figured, you know, what, 200, 200, 200.

When you get 200 rejections, I mean, you have been rejected. And I was.

But, you know, I wasn't discouraged because I figured, I can't work in 200 places. I just. I just need one. And I thought to myself, okay, a lot of these places aren't hiring. But it was that catch 22. They want someone with experience. But if no one will hire you, how do you get that experience? Well, I found another way to do it. Instead of doing the traditional path of going to law school, graduating, working for a law firm, I networked. I met people, I met connections. And I was able to get that first job at that scrap metal company, which is to work in house is a lot of, you know, a lot of times that's something an attorney does after five, ten years of practice. And that's. They work at the law firm, they learn, they get the experience, and they go to a company. I did it the reverse way, which I think not many people do. I think it makes me a better attorney today because I know what businesses are looking for and what they're sensitive on, cost, what they're looking for in terms of efficiency. But to me, you know, it was a hard process. And if I'd given up after those. After the chemistry or given up after all those rejection letters, I wouldn't have found that job that led to the next one, that led to the firm I'm at today that I absolutely love and love the people and love what I do and love the clients. Or if I had taken one of the jobs that was litigation, maybe I'd be doing a different area of law. But it wasn't really what I wanted to do. So you have to. And one of the things I tell new clients is you can't give up. You have to keep trying. You learn from mistakes and you move on, and you try, you try again.

The thing that I hear is, and I notice is your response in both of those things. When things went wrong and you had. Obviously, if you were this fragile flower and when things went wrong at college, you would have ducked your tail and run home, but, you know, you already knew how to fight, you already knew how to adjust, and you would somehow come to the conclusion that I'm good enough to do something, you know, at a pretty good level. And I thought it was being medicine, but I'm not getting the feedback there. But there's something else. Rather than, you know, you decided change paths. That's the whole thing about never quitting. You know, changing directions is totally different than stopping in your tracks because, you know, you had the. You carried the momentum of your life into ucla, into those classes, you ran into the brick wall. And because you had a certain inner confidence about yourself, you were able to, like, okay, we're going to adjust. And now that inform the decision that you made, I want to pursue about networking rather than, you know, the standard interview thing is not going to work, so I'm going to try something else. But, you know, you kept on going. And that's what the lesson people, you got to keep going. Otherwise you fail. But you don't get the lesson from fail. You know, a lot of times the best thing that can happen to you, and this is the theme that continues to come up in these conversations we have with successful people, is a lot of times that brick wall you run into is the greatest thing that could happen to you if you change directions, if you make an adjustment and keep on going. Why do you think, Jeff, in your upbringing, I don't know if you played sports, I don't know what things you were in, but in your upbringing, you know, we got kids in out of school right now and what's so terrible, you know, is that they're missing out on a chance to be a part of teams and compete and you know, not just in sports, but in anything, you know, but kids have got to learn about life and how do you respond, respond to people, how you respond to disappointments. And sitting inside a bubble, canning information and then spitting it back on a test to a teacher through zoom is not teaching you how to navigate life, but you somehow picked up along the way the most important thing that kids need to get and that is when things go wrong. Keep going, find something else, keep moving. You got a life to live here. And where do you think that came from? Before you got to ucla and as you got in that situation that you had to have some achievements along the way that gave you that inner confidence where you had convinced yourself Jeff is an overcomer, Jeff is a winner. Jeff is not a guy who's going to lay down because someone tells him he's not good enough.

It was in my upbringing, you know, it really was just my dad had started as a stockbroker and that didn't work out after a while, it was too long of a drive. He wanted to spend more time with his kids, so he was able to adapt and created his own travel company. So learning how he was able to adapt to a different type of business to suit his needs. And it was, you know, the friends I had grow up, the sports I played with, track and field and football and being around really other people and just dealing with other people and learning that not everything always goes your way. But you have to learn how to deal with people. You have to learn how to get over it. That is a life lesson that I'm even now teaching to my 4 year old son when he gets upset that he can't watch a certain show on tv. Crying and being upset about it doesn't get him what he wants. It's how can he ask his dad or mom to get that TV show? What can he do to get it is I think, a life lesson that I learned. And it, while we're talking about TV shows, the same principles apply where you're not able to get that client, you're not able to make that deal happen. Well, how do you make that happen. Is it being upset because you've got a no, or you got that 200th rejection, or is it finding a way to persevere and maybe find a different way? You know, if you're cold calling and I've got a lot of real estate agents deal with, and you keep getting no's. Well, keep getting. Keep going. You get that one. Yes. Or maybe adapt the way you're doing or adapt the message to make it successful, because it's not you, but it could be the method, the delivery. So look at how other people who have done it, you know, been successful in it, and that's the way you adapt. And that's. I think what I looked at is I always wanted to be successful. I wanted to be an entrepreneur. I wanted. Then I wanted to be a partner in a law firm. And so I looked at people that did that and kind of learned from how it's been done and kind of molded myself to fit that and to be able to overcome things when they didn't go my way.

Yeah. And I think what we're bouncing around to, to hear, Jeff, is what I really would love the listeners to think about, and that is right now, when you're behind the eight ball or you're bored in life, you're frustrated, you got some thing you place you want to go, things you want to make happen that you can't figure out mentally what you do to move forward. You know, you've listened to the books, you've tried everything, and you're just kind of confused. Well, confusion is the beginning of clarity. And so you're doing the right things listening here, and this is why I'm talking to Jeff. So light bulbs can go on in your mind, and it's not going to be probably anything genius of the two of us say, but it's what will be provoked in your mind for you to realize that you kind of know, but maybe you haven't clarified it, that, you know, the light bulb hasn't quite gone on in that room in your mind. But one thing I would like to make a big deal out of here is that if you had a terrible childhood, you know, you're a refugee, you're an immigrant, you were abandoned, whatever, abusive. I mean, there's tens of millions of people who grew up with not the great home, not the great environment. Well, at this stage of your life as an adult, so what? You still got to move forward. You know what I'm saying? There's other people. You got to find support. And the Thing to think about is you are where you are on the road of life. Now's a matter of how you can move forward. But think about your kids. They're probably everybody who listens to this. You know, 90%, 80, 90% of the people who will listen to this will have families and kids. And so you need to realize how important it is for you to keep moving forward in your life and solving problems and taking basically taking advantage of the opportunities you have. Focus on if that door is closed, which door is open and get your butt through because your kids are watching. And you know you're teaching even just by your example. But if you take the time to explain what you're going through and start teaching them fundamentals about how to navigate life and you the role model it that that can pay out for the next 20, 30, 40, 50 years in their lives. And people don't even think about the enough about the example they're setting for their kids. And Jeff, it was really interesting for you to think about your, your 4 year old, but they got to learn those lessons early or I've heard if you don't teach, if you don't teach a kid respect for authority, by the time he's six years old, he may never learn it. And it's important to get these little lessons taught. And so we got Covid, you know, we've had kids stuck at home. There's a whole lot of education that needs to be going on at home. That, that's different. You know, that's will. Will make all the difference in the world about whether or not the knowledge they're getting from their schoolwork is ever applied in life, you know, because of their toughness, of their rational thinking. So when I say things like that, what I want to use this as kind of a wrap up to this first segment because I think we've given people a lot to chew on. And then I want to get into the networking thing next time we talk. But when I say those things, what comes into your mind and what would you like to say to people on that?

It's absolutely true. You know, one, you do want to start early. I, you can kind of instill those ideals, especially for those with children is teach them what you may had a very, very difficult upbringing or you may have had a very privileged one, but you want to take the benefits of what you had and instill it into your kids so they have it better. And the second point of that is it really never is too late. There's countless stories of people starting businesses and becoming successful and they're 40s, 50s, 60s. It's never too early, it's never too late, you know, to kind of instill those ideals.

Absolutely. Thanks so much, Jeff. Great, great getting to know you. And I'm looking forward to us returning and talking some more and digger digging deeper into some of these concepts that you use in counseling people that launch and run major developments all over Southern California at least. And I'm not sure how far your influence reaches, but thanks so much for being on, Jeff.

Thanks for having me. I'm looking forward to talking again.

Thanks for listening to this episode of Million Dollar Mastermind with me, Larry Wydell. If I've helped you in any way, leave us a five star rating and review on Apple Podcasts. For more information like this, listen to our other Million Dollar Mastermind episodes and check out my Wydell Academy YouTube channel and visit us on widel on winning.com I'm the million Dollar Mastermind. And until next time, go go go.