TJ LaFaver and coworkers stage a capture-the-flag Nerf battle in the office with 120 D-cell batteries, divided into red and blue teams. The setup includes a 20-foot no-guard zone around each flag and a jail for eliminated players. Chaos ensues.
October 1, 2023.
About 10:20 (AM/PM not specified).
120 D-cell batteries.
About 1,000 balls on each side.
By the Lambo (blue flag).
You're the one that has Paul. At least Sal's kind of athletic. What the. Did you just say.
Who's taking their pants off?
All right, so we just got a text message. We got a package here.
Oh, yeah, buddy. Oh. Oh, bro, we want to go to the store. Sure. We gotta get some batteries. All right, brief intermission while we go and track down 120D cell batteries. Nice.
Oh, no. Okay, okay, okay. Wait. Please wait. Let me adjust.
Him off my neck. Oh. Let's go, Frankie. We gotta go scare some other people while we're here. What's up? Oh, yeah.
What is in the crate?
Oh, God. See the snake there?
His name's Frankie. Where's his head at? He's going towards you. Look. No, Frankie does not like me.
All right, let's go get a shitload of batteries. How many do we need? 120.
Sal's gonna be piss.
Those things actually got a little pop to them. Hell, yeah. All right, well, it's Wednesday. It's. It's 10:20 now, but about two hours. We're gonna just open up the HQ here. Playing field. Going straight in. Airport battle. We got us a couple shot. Coll to go make sure they work.
Ow. I don't know what we're doing. It's not. It's not bad. You don't have, like, a heart condition, do you? Oh. Hey, get in here. Get in here, buddy. Hey, come on in here.
Oh.
Oh.
I felt.
This motherfucker's automatic, bro. Bottom trigger revs it up, and then.
Here to win. Are you on the blue team? We're in the red, bro. Who's on the red? I'm on the red. That's what I'm just trying to tell you. You got to learn the luchador.
That's not really my style. You guys just told me about this 30 minutes ago. They've been planning this for days. Holy. These are. Can we shoot people in the dick? Are these legal? Yeah, bro. It's not working, bro. When did you go to the blue team, dumbass? Oh, we had to be. Oh, yeah. You want that old ass on your team? You're the one that has Paul. At least Sal's kind of athletic. What the fuck did you just say? Just because you're good at fitness, does it make you an athlete? I've seen you with a ball in your hand. All right, all right, you crazy yahooligans, let's go. All right, we're about to break it down, and we're gonna play freaking capture the flag. All right? We're gonna run down the rules. There's two flags in the corner of the building. You got one over here. The blue flag is gonna be by the Lambo. And then you got the red flag over here. Wait. Isn't the point to not know where the flags are? No, no, that's not. No, that's not the rules. Oh, okay. All right. These are different rules. Hey.
Accidental go to jail. You're in jail, you get shot, you get shot, you have to go back to your home base. If you need to reload, you have to go back to your home base. There is canisters with the balls ready to be loaded up. You got about a thousand balls on each side. If you get shot.
The losers. Losers. Losers have to. Are on cleanup duty. If you get shot, you have to go back to your home base. And you cannot protect the flag within a 20 foot radius. Is that clear?
Some of us are in there paying the bills. If you assholes can keep it down, that'd be great. You in? What? Oh, yeah, I'm in.
We need to go to home base and get a strategy. Yeah. Yep. Team Red, huddle up. Or do we huddle? Is that a huddle thing? Why not? Okay, we're gonna huddle. I don't fucking know. I think what we need to do is have somebody, like, right behind the track who's taking their pants off. Who's going to be the one? I'm just going straight up the middle.
Hey, boo. Squad, we ready? Ready. Red team, you ready? Yeah, we're ready. Off. All right. On three. Whistles. Round one. Fight.
I'm so tired. Why? I mean, I want to see some, you know, footage of those.
W me up. I am. I love america.
